A Rather Unexpected Love
by Rue Dawn
Summary: One moment I'm driving my car to work, the next I'm running through the woods from one of the most disgusting looking creatures I've ever seen in fear for my life, crashing into a king, going on a quest and falling in love. Oh did I mention I'm apparently a 'dwarf' now? My name is Zalia Lucas, and this is my story. Fili/OC Romance/Humour/Family
1. The Begining

My tale is a strange one; it is most often now told as a bedtime story to young dwarflings full of light-hearted fun, friendship, mischief, heroics and adventure. Which (truth be told) is not exactly how it happened. The actual events were a lot less magical than they are portrayed, a lot scarier and a lot less certain of a happy ending, but that is indeed not a story to be telling to young children. This is why, I am writing it down in my dear journal, a gift from Ori, to allow those who want to read the much less fanciful and rather more factual tale from my perspective. It promises to be a tad more petrifying and yet all the more wonderful for the truth it holds.

And who could be forgetting of course, the adventure. That is one thing it appears, the bedtime stories kept completely correct.

My name is Zalia Lucas and this is my story.

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><p>"SHIT!"<p>

I scrambled up as quickly as my body could possibly manage. Dirt and grime became lodged beneath my fingernails; my breath came out in exhausted huffs, a cloud of dust formed behind me as my feet kicked up innumerable amounts of dirt, dust and god knows what else in my haste to return to my full height and I was sure the bottom of my feet were likely torn to bits but I continued to run. For if I didn't the likely outcome was simple, I would die.

Crashing through the trees, branches whipping my face and snagging in my thick mass of tangled curly blonde hair; none of the pain of pushing on seemed to matter, I just knew I must run.

_What is that thing?! _One question that filled my head as the creature chasing me let out the most terrible screech I had ever heard. It grated on my nerves, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my whole body shiver.

I chanced a glance behind me. _It's getting closer!_

I was relatively sure my usually bright blue eyes would be glinting in fear. I wasn't sure what the _thing_ was; nor how I came into contact with it. At first when I woke up on the dirty forest floor I thought I had been in some kind of car accident. Certainly made sense, one minute I'm on my way to work in the car, next I'm on the floor in the wood, but then I remembered there were no woods on my way to work, and when I heard that creature, stood and saw it begin to chase me, no, there were certainly none of those in my world. So I came to my latest conclusion, I must be dreaming.

That conclusion was blown out of the water when the creature had let off an arrow which grazed my shoulder.

"NOT A DREAM! NOT A DREAM!" My voice shouted in a worryingly fearful high pitch.

I was not dreaming because that fucking hurt.

I broke free of the trees. _FINALLY! I'M GOING TO LIVE! _

Just as I thought I might make it, might escape the foul thing pursuing me I crashed straight into a rather hard something. Or rather… someone.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

I rolled off the gruff sounding man startlingly fast and scrambled backwards using my hands and feet to get as far away as possible.

"NO MATE! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THAT?!" I yelled pointing at the thing as it broke free.

Lucky for me the man seemed to react a lot quicker than I had. Eyes widening in realisation he jumped to his feet, unsheathed his…

_Is that a fucking sword?! _

And set upon the creature. For a few short moments, the time it took for him to reach the creature, I was afraid I was the reason this man was going to die but apparently, I highly underestimated him. In a matter of seconds he had let out a loud cry and promptly separated the creatures head from its body.

Just as promptly I collapsed.

"Oh my god, oh my god. I could've died, I totally could've died. What the fuck is going on?!" I am rather ashamed to say, I may have lost my mind for a minute there.

"My Lady… are you well?"

"Am I… Am I… well…well…AM I WELL?!" My voice rose in levels of hysteria as I continued. "NO, NO I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT FUCKING WELL!"

The man stepped towards me, quite calmly mind you, cleaning the sword on what looked to be some old time looking shirt. Trust me to come across the only weirdo with a sword when I was running from some science experiment gone wrong.

Taking a proper look at my saviour for the first time I noticed he had quite long dark hair with some random braids in, as well as a dark beard and a rather stern, yet worried looking face. He was by all accounts, very broad but rather short. At least, that's what I thought until I stood and realised I was probably about a head shorter than he was.

He gave me a rather pointed look. "I, um, look I'm sorry. I just, I'm lost… confused. Lost and confused."

The man nodded, in a rather kind way and set his eyes on me appraisingly. "You do not seem to be from these parts and yet, you look as if you may be one of my kin. Rather hairless when it comes to beards and much less… stocky but still, one of us."

"Which… would be what exactly?"

"A dwarf Miss."

At this moment, I am ashamed to say, I promptly fainted.

* * *

><p>"Owwww." I awoke with a loud groan and a pounding headache.<p>

"Yes I did think that may hurt some."

Sitting up I looked over in the direction of the voice and blinked once, twice, three times to be sure.

_Nope. He's certainly real. _

"I… I'm really sorry about that. And about falling on you earlier… and freaking out… and that thing that was chasing me. Yeah actually I'm just sorry about everything that's happened since you were unlucky enough to come across me actually." This speech all came out in a rather garbled hurry but, it was better than nothing.

"It is no trouble. Honestly."

_Yeah, I seriously doubt that mate._

"Well, sorry anyways and like thanks." He quirked an eyebrow at me "For saving me, I mean."

"Like I said, no trouble young one."

I nodded quite unsure of what I should say to that and we fell into silence for a few minutes. I decided this would be the time to explore my surroundings. It looked like we were in a rather small room, possibly an inn. It sort of resembled the rooms in inn's I'd seen in movies.

I swung my feet off the bed and found it rather further to the floor than I ever remember it being before from the bed. My face scrunched up in confusion. I walked around the edge of the room the man's eyes following me as I did so, until I reached a mirror.

One thing was immediately clear. "I've fuckin' shrunk."

The man snorted.

"This," I said in my most cutting voice and throwing him an angry glare, "is not funny."

My eyes looked the same as normal, my button nose too, my slightly heavy rounded jaw, my tiny ears, my long hair, large yet proportionate bosom, small feet all in place. Except I'd fucking shrunk.

"Maybe you would explain your story my lady, and I will explain mine."

I whipped around to look at the man. "Sure… why the hell not?"

It took roughly an hour to explain what I thought would be quite a simple story, but apparently it was not. This man did not know what a car was and most certainly took longer than I thought to believe that I am… or used to be human.

Eventually though, he nodded at me after taking a while to think it all through and smiled.

"Well I certainly cannot be leaving you here alone, so you must come with me on my quest. I took it upon myself when you were… otherwise engaged…"

_Too polite to say I passed out then. _

"To arrange for this eventuality, as you are most certainly one of my kin now. I do not like this idea but I think that it might be for the best."

"Sooo… we're going on a quest."

"All will be made clear soon. You will need to change from your strange attire and into that which I got you more suited for travelling, we must be going for otherwise we will be late."

I frowned at the man. "So lets just say for now I'm totally accepting all this shizzle, which is kinda difficult by the way, then should I not at least know your name?"

The man smirked at me. "I do not know what half of those strange terms meant. However, my name is Thorin Oakenshield."

"Cool. Nice to meet you Thorin mate. I'm Zalia Lucas."

* * *

><p>And that my dear friends, is how my amazing, terrifying, magical, unbelievable journey started.<p>

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><p><strong>Hi, <strong>

**Yea I know I shouldn't be posting another story but I can't help it. I will try to update regularly but I say that all the time. Hopefully it will stick this time. Focus on one until finish my resolution for 2014. So I promise to try my best. **

**Anyways, please let me know what you think! This is a kinda pilot chapter so I'd like to know to continue or not. **

**Links to pictures of Zalia at the VERY bottom of my profile :).**

**Rue.**


	2. Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins

Within the next four weeks I discovered that Thorin was not a talker. Most certainly not. Which considering that I was a complete and utter chatterbox caused us a bit of a problem at first. Ah yes, I remember the first four weeks were quite a learning curve for Thorin and I, and of course, what I mean by learning curve is quite simple. I learnt to control my chatterbox nature and Thorin, well, I'm pretty sure he learnt some sort of self-control and by self-control I mean, my head, thank God, remained attached to my shoulders.

* * *

><p>When Thorin said I could change and we'd be leaving immediately he really wasn't joking. By the time I'd managed to remove all the dirt and grime from the forest and have the last proper bath it seemed like I'd be taking in a while, he was becoming quite agitated.<p>

"Will you make haste woman?!"

I flinched visibly at the gruff voice which sounded through the door clear as a bell.

"Have I not told you we will be late!" He continued.

I sighed. I'm not entirely sure this 'quest' was going to be as entertaining as I'd allowed myself to hope. Certainly, if I assumed as I did, and rightly so, that this was a land where there were many strange creatures and carrying weapons such as swords around was common place then I must also have assumed the quest wasn't going to be easy. But while taking a nice hot bath I'd allowed myself to fantasize, perhaps this quest would be fun. Like the adventures in storybooks.

This fantasy had calmed my nerves about being in a strange world some. It had also calmed my nerves about taking on some unknown and dangerous quest with the sword-wielding dwarf I'd just met. However, now realising what his personality was like, I could only assume that it was indeed _not _going to be half as fun as my fantasy had allowed me to believe for the last hour or so.

"Alright, alright!" I yelled back through the door.

_Honestly, don't get your knickers in such a twist. _I thought. _I just need to get dressed; I'm going on no 'quest' naked._

With a hurried speed I pulled the travelling clothes Thorin had brought me on. They were lovely. Honestly, to this day it surprises me the man has such good taste when picking out female attire. They fit perfectly.

I had a thick pair of breeches in a light brown shade, a thick undershirt, a rather nice dark blue waistcoat and one of the most beautiful blue travelling cloaks that is in existence. Along with this he'd managed to pick me a very comfortable, yet sturdy and tough pair of brown boots. All in all, as I looked in the mirror once more, I was rather pleased with his selections.

Carefully I made sure my jewellery was secure. Nose ring, check, nose stud, check, earrings, check, ear hoops check, rings check, lip ring, check. Right that seemed all good to go. I gave one last longing look towards my jeans, converse and rather big comfy hoodie and sighed. Goodbye normal life, hello quest life.

Pushing the heavy wooden door open I left the bathroom and gave Thorin a smile. Which, needless to say, he did not return.

"FINALLY!"

I dropped my smile and sighed. "Sorry."

He merely shook his head and beckoned me to leave the inn in front of him. "Come."

* * *

><p>It took us the first few minutes to work out we were widely different characters, I think the defining moment might have been when he told me I needed to learn, and I quote, how to hold my tongue before it was removed from my mouth.<p>

The problem being of course, I had way too many questions to be silent.

"What was that thing?" I asked looking over at Thorin as we walked down a rather quiet but exposed road.

He looked at me… well it was more of an annoyed glance really, but decided it seemed, that I should be given an answer.

"That was an Orc."

"An…Orc? Did I pronounce that correctly?" I frowned.

"Yes," He replied smirking a little. "You did very well indeed."

"Oh. Well good…. And what exactly is an Orc?"

This time it was Thorins turn to sigh. "Orcs are rather horrible creatures, like the one you ran into earlier, they like to rape, pillage, plunder, destroy and consume."

"Oh right… well we don't have orc's where I come from…" _And that I'm rather glad of….wait did he say what I think he said. _"Wait did you say consume? As in they like to eat people?!" I think my voice may have raised a few octaves as I got to the end of that sentence.

"Yes, in fact, that is exactly what I said." He gave me a glance.

I think I literally felt the blood drain from my face as I grimaced. "Lovely."

* * *

><p>By the third week however, it was apparent that Thorin and I had built a rather good relationship despite our differences. I was quickly adapting to his moody personality. I didn't like it but I was adapting, and as for Thorin well, I think he had decided he quite liked having someone to look after. There were a couple of times I would find the male population in the villages we passed through looking at me as if I was their next meal and Thorin well, he certainly knew how to scare them off. I got quite used to having him around, gruff persona and all. I think he rather reminded me of my dad. Which was wonderful because I loved my dad, he'd died when I reached eighteen and I didn't have any other family to care about me. So having someone around who at the very least seemed to feel responsible for my wellbeing was nice, especially, when Thorin discovered my family situation.<p>

"Thorin, could you not tell me a bit more about this quest?" I asked as we sat around the fire one night.

"Well, we'll be going to reclaim my home with some very loyal friends and my two nephews."

"That's nice… that you have family."

He threw me a rather curious look. "You do not?"

I shook my head trying to control my emotions. "My dad, he was shot when I was eighteen by some guy trying to rob the bar he worked at… being shot is like… well basically a little piece of metal ripped up all his insides and he died." My voice was quivering by the end of my speech. "I don't have a mum or anything, she left when I was little so it was just always dad and me… and now… well it's just, me." I finished with a shrug.

"I am sorry."

I didn't really know what to say to his reply. I didn't want to say it was alright because it really wasn't but I didn't want to make it awkward so we just fell into a silence until I finally said.

"You have nephews that must be pretty cool, what are they like?"

Thorin gave me a rather odd look but he answered me anyway. "They are strong, loyal, courageous dwarfs. Sometimes they act rather foolishly and I can be very harsh towards them, because although they are still young they need to learn."

"How young are they?"

"82 and 77."

My drink sprayed out of my mouth and I coughed trying not to choke.

_Eighty two and seventy seven and he calls them young! _

I physically spat out my drink. I didn't mean to honestly. It was just that he took me completely by surprise. To be fair to Thorin he didn't really so much as bat an eye-lid but I think that was a bit of a misunderstanding on both our parts.

"Yes, I'm not surprised it shocks you. I did wonder if they were too young to go on this quest myself."

I felt my eyes widening and hurried to explain. "No, no, no, no, no. You don't get it. Seriously, remember I said it was only humans where I came from?"

Narrowing his eyes Thorin nodded.

"Well so I was human, I'm only 20."

Now it was his turn to look startled. Well as startled as Thorin Oakenshield can look that is, which consists of raised eyebrows and startled, widened eyes. "You are but a child!"

"No!" I felt my face warming up in anger as I slammed my cup down.

_A child! Now he thinks I'm a child!_

"Where I'm from we age more quickly, I'm an adult thanks very much, have been since I was eighteen! I don't know if I'll age so quickly now though…" I trailed off rather confused.

_If I'm a dwarf here, does that mean that I'm not 20 and I'm actually like 80? Or does it mean I am 20 and I'll get really old because it certainly seems like they live longer? Or does it mean I'll keep aging like I did and die really young?! _

"How curious indeed." Thorin murmured. I'm ashamed to say, I'd quite forgotten he was there.

* * *

><p>The next week found us walking along a straight road in a companionable silence. We'd become closer after our little chat around the fire. Or at least… we'd seemed to. Suddenly, or so it seemed to me, as I was rather enjoying the sun and daydreaming, Thorin stopped walking.<p>

"What? What's up? Why are we stopping?" My voice tumbled out in a rush.

"The sky is up Zalia, but that has nothing to do with our stopping…" A puzzled look donned on his face Thorin turned to me.

"No, it means what's the matter? …Just forget it. Why have we stopped?"

His lips quirked upwards slightly as he looked at me. "I often forget you say such odd things. We are stopping because you are continuing down this road and I am not."

I am proud to say there was a rather pregnant pause where I took time to take stock of the situation and compose an appropriate response…. Yeah right. I totally freaked out.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. You're leaving me. You are totally abandoning me and I'm gonna die! Oh god, oh god, oh god." My chest was heaving as I began to hyperventilate.

Thorin placed a calming hand on my arm. "Relax Zalia. Breathe. I am not leaving you."

It took a few minutes but I managed to get my breathing steady again.

"You are to continue down this road, you will find a door which has a small blue mark on it. I am sure you will see it. And when you do you must wait inside for me I will find you. I promise." He looked extremely sincere, but it didn't do much to calm my nerves.

"You won't will you. You're going to abandon me at some strange house and I'm totally going to die."

Surprising me he laughed, a full throaty laugh. I was stunned stock still and silent. Not once in the four weeks I'd known him had I ever heard Thorin Oakenshield laugh. I'd barely heard the man chuckle.

"You have become much like a daughter to me. One I never wanted, but a daughter none the less and I will not be abandoning you. You must trust me."

I stared at him for a few seconds frowning. To this day I don't think I believed him but hey ho what else can one do in a strange world but trust the one man that's kept her alive.

"Fine. Okay. I can do this."

"I have no doubt you can."

"So what are you doing?"

"I need to pick up a few things for our quest."

I nodded. "Okay, straight down this road. I can totally do this." And without looking back I began to walk. "See you later!" I called behind me.

"Indeed you will." Came the reply.

* * *

><p>It took me until the early afternoon to find the door, when Thorin said the mark was small he wasn't kidding. Although I was under the impression he was sure that it was easier to find than it actually was.<p>

Slowly and carefully I walked up to the large, round, green door. Not entirely sure what I was going to find I knocked loudly.

"JUST A MOMENT!" The voice sounded rather polite and yet I had the horrible feeling I had disturbed the person inside.

When the door opened I was met with such a sight. This man was about my height, he had short curly dirty blonde hair, wonderfully colourful clothing and very large hairy feet.

"I'm sorry… do I know you?" The man asked rather confused, his brow furrowed as if trying to place my face.

"Er…well … the thing is… no." I said sheepishly.

"Well you must have the wrong house then. Good afternoon." The polite tone was back and then before I could blink the door was shut in my face.

_Well… that was rather rude. _I thought frowning. _Should I knock again? _I looked at the door once more. Yes there was definitely the small blue mark Thorin mentioned. _I think I should knock again._

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The man opened the door frowning at me more deeply now. "Look, I told you before. I don't know you and you have the wrong house. Good afternoon."

This time however, I was ready for the door to shut. "WAIT!"

The door slowly swung back open and the man looked at me critically. "What?"

"Well you see a friend told me to wait here for them, and I'm not from around here and I don't know where else to go and I don't want to lose my friend because they're the only person I know around here and so I would really appreciate it if you could let me come in." It was rushed and certainly not up to the crisp, fluid standards Thorin and the man before me used but it sounded better than 'can I crash here for a bit dude?' and, surprisingly, it seemed to work.

He appraised me for a few minutes then held out his hand. "Bilbo Baggins, pleasure to meet you."

"Zalia Lucas. Pleasure to meet you too."

I spent a rather enjoyable afternoon with Bilbo. I discovered he was very set in his ways and very house proud, while also very funny. While he discovered that I spoke, his words not mine, 'in a most peculiar fashion' and of course we discovered our shared love of reading. Although we also learnt how terrible it is to try and converse about books when you haven't read any the same as the other person. Not even what Bilbo had dubbed the classics.

"How can you not have read the classic tales all children are told?"

"Well… you see um… I…" _How do I explain I come from a world where my classics are nothing like his and he isn't even of a real race without sounding crazy? _"I'm sure it's just a culture difference?"

_Well that didn't come out as confidently as I would have hoped! _

"Oh yes of course, I forget you're not a hobbit. Well do read this one now!" I was handed a beautifully decorated rather small book. Which, I spent the afternoon reading, sometimes sharing conversation with my host and other times in companionable silence. He still seemed to believe I had the wrong house but I assured him I was very sure I didn't. To which he replied that it would have been very wrong of him to leave a woman outside with nowhere to go anyway and it was, not at all a problem.

We were just sitting down to supper which, thankfully Bilbo had allowed me to stay for when the first knock came.

"That must be your friend."

I nodded eagerly and followed him to open the door. Thing was when it opened, standing on the threshold was a very large, bald, tattooed dwarf. One who was certainly not Thorin and as Bilbo gave me a wide-eyed glance, raised eyebrows and all I shot one back which clearly conveyed I had never seen this man before in my life. To which we both frowned.

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><p><strong>Thank you for the follows and reviews, I hope you can see we'll be getting into this more now. <strong>

**Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know. And next chapter, she meets Fili :D.**

**Rue.**


	3. Unexpected Arrivals

"Dwalin, at your service." A deep rumbling voice which suited the dwarf perfectly came out as he gave a slight bow.

Bilbo was busy fumbling with his dressing gown or as he quite stuffily told me 'housecoat' and I merely stood with my mouth gaping.

This guy was huge. He had a big bald head, a long dark brown beard which was kind of scruffy, a big metal ring on each ear. Overall he was really quite terrifying.

_He could kill me with a look. He could squash me to death, he could… oh my god. Okay, okay Zalia calm down, the man has made no move to attack you… yet. _

Narrowing my eyes I watched the man step over the threshold as Bilbo replied, "Bilbo Baggins, at yours."

_I am going to be keeping a close eye on this one. _

"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Bilbo asked looking, I am rather pleased to say, even more put out than he did when I turned up unannounced.

"No." The gruff reply and the mean look that went with it didn't exactly endear the dwarf… Dwalin, to either of us.

He strode past me, heavy boots clonking on Bilbo's nice clean floor, and didn't even seem to notice I was there. I am rather ashamed to say, I squeaked a little. How terrifying to have a huge, strange person that it was obvious neither of us expected, turn up and it really wasn't helping that Bilbo was looking just as frightened as I felt.

_He looks like he's going to piss his pants. _

"Which way laddie?" Came the bellowing voice as Bilbo and I stared after the man, who was now removing his thick travelling cloak, in confusion and fear. "Is it down here?"

"I…I…Is what down where?"

_Oh poor Bilbo. _The shock and confusion in his voice were rife. I'm pretty sure I hadn't sounded that bad when I found I'd been dumped in another world… okay, well maybe I had but still.

"Supper." Nearly engulfing Bilbo as he threw his heavy cloak into his arms, Dwalin strode past us the other way. "He said there'd be food. And lots of it." His voice was getting distant as he went further into the hobbit hole.

_Good thing he's so loud. _

"He…" Bilbo took a few, rather pitiful, hurried steps forwards. "He said?"

With a look which clearly spoke volumes about how little he understood this situation Bilbo stopped, just as sounds of things moving began coming from the room we'd been eating in.

_Oh no, some of that is MY food. _

"Scuse." I muttered as I ran past Bilbo and into the dining room just as he muttered something which sounded a lot like… 'who said?'

Dwalin had found the food alright, he was sat at the table eating Bilbo's supper and eyeing mine in a way I did not appreciate.

"That's mine!" I said forcefully sitting and placing a hand over my plate while I grabbed for a knife and fork.

Dwalin gave me a short look, (I'm not sure he'd realised I was there until I spoke), before turning to Bilbo, who, was sitting just behind him glaring rather harshly as he devoured his supper. "Very good this, anymore?"

_Somebody's got no table manners. _I thought as I slowly ate my own fish. _Haven't you ever heard the phrase it's rude to speak with your mouth open? _Of course, at the time I was a bit too much of a chicken shit to voice these thoughts.

"What?" Bilbo, I noticed with a chuckle, had been rather mesmerised watching him eat. "Oh yes… yes…. Ah."

The smirk that made its way onto my face as I noticed Bilbo take a bread role before he placed the plate in front of the dwarf with a 'help yourself' quickly disappeared as Dwalin took a large handful and shoved those in his mouth.

_Time to act. _I leapt forwards stuck my hand out and grabbed one quickly, "This," I announced, in the most menacing tone I could manage. "Is mine!"

Dwalin chuckled. "Fair enough, lassie."

Nodding my acceptance at this response, I placed the bread role on the side of my plate and once again continued with my fish. Bilbo gave me a questioning glance and I shrugged. What did he expect me to do? I hadn't eaten since morning.

"It's just that um… I wasn't expecting company." I gave Bilbo a rather guilty smile as he said this.

The tinkling sound of the doorbell rang once more and Bilbo and I shared a quick look.

"That'll be the door." Dwalin growled.

"Mine!" I said, giving Dwalin my, 'I'm watching you eyes', and pointing to my plate as I followed Bilbo from the room.

He just chuckled.

Bilbo was just swinging open the door as I appeared in the hallway. This man, was most certainly another dwarf. He had a long white beard, and an old kind face. He was, at my best guess, just a little taller than me and decidedly wider.

"Balin, at your service." He declared giving Bilbo a gracious bow as he threw his arms out wide.

Bilbo replied, with a (rather bland in my opinion), "Good evening."

"Yes, yes it is," Said Balin looking thoughtful as he stepped inside. "though I think it might rain later. Am I late?"

"Hmm…. Late for what?" Bilbo's voice came out slowly as he narrowed his eyes.

Unfortunately he never got his answer because this was when Balin looked to the side and noticed Dwalin.

"Oh, Oh, Aha! Evening, brother." He took a slow, bouncy stroll towards the larger dwarf, who had begun fiddling with one of Bilbo's many trinkets.

However, at the sight of Balin he grinned, for it was certainly a grin and put the trinket down.

"By my beard," Dwalin's voice was certainly less gruff now. "you're shorter and wider than last we met."

"Wider not shorter," Came the reply, "sharp enough for both of us." At which point both began to chuckle, Dwalin placed his hands on Balin's shoulders and they butted heads.

Now I know what you're thinking, they just touched their heads together in a gesture of friendship, no, no, no. They head-butted each other. And I, jumped.

"Oh holy mother of god!" The dwarfs turned to me. "I felt that, I seriously felt that. Ouch!" My hand was rubbing my forehead in the hopes of ridding myself of sympathy pains.

After my little interruption, they turned back to each other and began muttering between themselves. I was absolutely fascinated. In my fascination however, I had completely forgotten about Bilbo.

"Um, excuse me,"

"JESUS CHRIST!"

Cue withering look, Bilbo continued, now looking back to the dwarfs. "sorry, I hate to interrupt, err, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house." He finished looking towards the dwarfs but pointing at the still open door.

I snorted. _If that isn't the most polite 'get the fuck outta my house' I ever did hear. _

The dwarfs paid Bilbo absolutely no mind whatsoever. He followed them into the house as I sighed and shut the door, wouldn't do of course to have just anybody walking in, especially with how Bilbo was taking to the guests he already had.

"Have you eaten?" Dwalin asked his brother as he was pouring ale from one of Bilbo's many barrels. "Best not to eat the lasses food." He muttered.

I found myself quite pleased at this comment when I caught up with them in the pantry. Bilbo was taking to these house-guests a lot worse than he took to me, that's for sure.

"Now it's not that I don't like visitors, I like visitors as much as the next hobbit," He sighed putting his hands on his hips, I must admit it was hard not to feel sorry for him because the dwarfs were clearly just carrying on with their own conversation. "But I do like to know them before they come visiting." He said swinging his arms.

"What is this?" Asked Dwalin.

"I dunno I just thought it'd be cheese." Balin answered.

Bilbo, bless his persistent little soul, continued on. "The thing is…"

"Gone blue?"

"It's riddled with mould."

"The…The thing is…." I felt myself sighing again as I leaned against the wall and rested my face in the palm of my hand. This was going nowhere fast. "I don't know either of you…"

A block of cheese came flying between Bilbo and I, tossed over Dwalin's shoulder and we watched it sail past.

"not in the slightest, I don't mean to be blunt. I'm sorry." He said holding up both palms of his hands towards the dwarfs.

They finally turned to him and I straightened up. _This could finally be going somewhere. _

"Apology accepted." Said Balin politely.

_Or it could not be going anywhere… backwards even, it could clearly be going backwards. _

"Oh now fill it up brother don't stint." He said handing Dwalin back the cup he'd been passed.

"You wanna get stuck in…." Came Dwalin's reply as the bell rang once again.

Bilbo and I shared a look as we started off towards the door. "Maybe, it'll be your friend this time. Although I'm quite finding myself, hoping it's not. It's nice to know one of my guests is invited inside and not so…"

I chuckled. "I think I get you."

He frowned at me stopping just in front of the door.

"I mean… I think I understand what you're trying to say."

Bilbo allowed himself a small smile. "Most peculiar indeed."

* * *

><p>We both looked at the door with a kind of hopeful trepidation. I smiled what I hoped was an encouraging smile and Bilbo swung open the door.<p>

_Oh my giddy good aunt, they are gorgeous. _

I stared wide eyed at the two dwarfs at the door. One had long dark hair and matching brown eyes; he was dressed in fine blue travelling clothes and had an obvious set of weapons about his person, a sword along with a bow and arrows certainly. The main difference I'd discovered in my short observation of him was that he did not have the beard I had come to expect with dwarfs but rather a short amount of brown stubble.

The other dwarf was a lot fairer, he had long blonde hair, a more straw coloured blonde than my white blonde, and a short beard to match. His hair had a few braids in the front and most noticeably his moustache was braided on both sides. His nose was slightly larger than that of his travelling companions and his eyes, I noticed, were a blue-green colour. He wore a big fur coat in a light brown shade and seemed to have even more weapons than I thought it possible for one person to carry.

"Fili." Said the blonde.

"And Kili." Continued the darker haired one.

"At your service!" They finished not only in tandem with speech but also with a bow.

As they bowed Bilbo shot me a quick glance, to which I shook my head. The meaning was clear, neither of these two was the friend I was waiting for.

_But by god I wish they were. _

"You must be Mister Boggins!" Exclaimed Kili as they stood up.

"Nope, you can't come in you've come to the wrong house." Announced Bilbo, swinging the door shut.

"BILBO!" I admonished as I tried to get around him to catch the door and stop him closing it.

_I'll be dammed if the man is going to throw out the only two fit one's to turn up so far. Nuh uh not fair, throw the other two out let the hotties stay! _

Just it seemed the same idea as Kili had, for he caught the door before it closed.

"What?" He asked shoving the door, back open with relative ease. "Has it been cancelled?"

I am ashamed to say that as fretful as they looked at that moment. I laughed, I laughed because Bilbo had swung open with his door as if he weighed no more than a feather.

"No one told us." Said Fili fixing Bilbo with a hard stare, although both dwarfs glanced over to see where the laugh had come from. At which point I turned bright red, not a problem, except I am a pale white.

_Just shoot me and be done with it. _

"Can- no nothings been cancelled." Bilbo replied rife with confusion once more.

"Well that's a relief." Said Kili grinning as he pushed his way in.

Fili grinned as he followed.

"And you must be Mrs Boggins." Kili exclaimed stopping dead in front of me.

"NO!" Bilbo and I yelled at the same time.

"I'm not a hobbit!"

"She's not a hobbit!"

Kili and Fili grinned.

"Seems that would be a no then brother." Fili said throwing a wink my way as he began piling weapons in Bilbo's arms. "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened."

I gaped. _Who in their right mind carries that many sharp pointy objects?! I'd have stuck myself before I got three feet down the road. _

"It's nice this place. Did you do it yourself?" Kili asked as he strode around and eventually began cleaning his boots on a box by the wall.

"Well… no it's been in the family for years…. THAT'S MY MOTHERS GLORY BOX! Can you please not do that?!"

_That might just be the most alarmed Bilbo's sounded yet. _

"Fili, Kili come give us a hand."

Dwalin came out grasping Kili by the arm, the latter of whom grinned and threw his arm around him.

"Mr Dwalin."

"Right, let's get this in the hall or we'll never get everyone in!" Balin announced as Fili brushed past me.

I shivered. That man was absolutely gorgeous. Bilbo's thoughts it seemed, were on other matters entirely… namely, the rearrangement of his house.

"Everyone!" He yelled. "How many more are there?"

"Don't touch my food." I piped up as I saw Dwalin pick up my plate.

He gave a bark of laughter, "Not to worry lassie, you've made it very clear this is yours!" Gently for a dwarf, more gently than I thought they could be anyway, he placed it on the countertop.

"Right where do you want this?" Someone asked as they all began to lift the table.

I however, was distracted by the doorbell ringing once again. So it appeared, was Bilbo.

"Oh, no, no, no. Look. THERE'S NOBODY HOME!" He shouted moving as quickly as possible arms, still full of Fili's weapons towards the door. He quickly got fed up of them and threw them down, first the lot on his arms and then the lot on his shoulder.

"Bilbo!" I muttered. "That was rude." And as carefully as I could I began to attempt to move the weapons carefully onto the side.

Attempt being the operative word here, because it's very hard to be careful with something that's so damn heavy you can barely lift it.

"Do you need a hand My Lady?"

I froze. Quite literally. I was bent down on the floor trying to lift these stupid, metal pointy things when I froze. Slowly very slowly, I turned my head and there was Fili crouched next to me offering me a hand with his own weapons.

"Err… yeah that'd be awesome." His eyes narrowed at me. "I mean… cool… no wait… good that'd be really good." I finished flashing an embarrassed grin.

He beamed at me, lifting up his weapons, "You speak in a most peculiar fashion." And depositing them on the side.

"And you are not the first person to point that out." I countered standing up myself.

"Fili are you helping or not?!" He gave me an apologetic grin as the shout came from the other room.

"It's alright, I should probably see what Bilbo's doing…"

"THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY DWARFS IN MY DINING ROOM AS IT IS! If this is some PLOTHEADS idea of a joke! Haha! I can only say it is in very…."

I reached him by the door at this point in the speech, "Poor taste!"

_Well shit. That's just gonna have him spewing bunnies and rainbows. _I thought, because at this point a whole pile of dwarfs fell in his door and yet I couldn't help but laugh.

It was in my defence immensely funny, and God did I know it. Within seconds while the dwarfs were arguing and trying to disentangle themselves I was in hysterics, clutching my sides, tears rolling down my face using the wall to support me. This was just too much.

Apparently Bilbo agreed. "Gandalf." He said with a short huff.

* * *

><p>Turns out 'Gandalf' was not, as I originally thought, some strange hobbit swearword, but in fact it was the name of a wizard. Which I argued with myself is no more normal, and perhaps I should have expected something like that considering all the strange happenings since I first appeared in that god forsaken forest.<p>

The dwarfs appearing however, was most certainly the best thing to happen in my day so far, because I don't know if you've ever seen dwarfs eat, but it is hilarious, slightly disgusting maybe, but hilarious none the less. Most especially when you have a hobbit running around making comments such as 'not that', 'put that back' and 'have you got a cheese knife?' to a dwarf three times the size of me carrying huge amounts of cheese. More so when you have other dwarfs replying with comments such as 'cheese knife, he eats it by the block'.

I was sat quite nicely off to the side of most of the commotion with the plate Dwalin had so kindly saved for me, watching it all happen.

"Oh excuse me." A dwarf with a grey beard came over with a tray containing a teapot and two mugs. "May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?"

I beamed at him. "You know, I think you could."

The dwarf beamed back and I giggled as he handed me the cup, "Thanks."

"No trouble at all, my dear, Dori at your service."

"Pleased to meet you Dori, I'm Zalia." And with that the dwarf continued on his way offering tea to all.

The wizard stood in the hallway towering over everyone, and counting dwarfs, while they carried food around and fought with Bilbo over what they were taking.

Eventually he muttered, "Yes you are quite right Bifur, we are one dwarf short."

To which Dwalin, who was leaning against the wall next to me replied, "He is late is all, he travelled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come."

Gandalf nodded and finally settled his eyes on me. "And who my dear, are you?"

"Oh!" I jumped a little and put down my finally finished plate of food and half-finished cup of tea. "I'm Zalia Lucas, pleasure to meet you sir."

"I am Gandalf the grey my dear. May I be so bold as to ask, what it is you are doing here? For you are surely not a hobbit."

"Oh well. My friend told me to wait here for him and Bilbo kindly obliged so here I am." I finished with a smile.

Gandalf nodded. "You seem a little odd though, you are not a hobbit, which means I can only assume you're a dwarf, but you have no beard and are rather skinnier and fairer than most dwarf women."

"Well to be honest with you mate, I'm not too sure myself." A tight smile graced my lips as I beckoned him towards me. "I didn't originally come from this world, as far as I can figure anyways."

He frowned but nodded none the less. "You will have to fill me in later dear."

"Sure, sure."

At that point Dori interrupted passing Gandalf a little glass of red wine, which by my best guess at the size of the glass when placed in Gandalf's hands, can have barely wet his whistle.

* * *

><p>The dwarfs eating was certainly something to watch, the food was thrown around the table, Fili walked along the top handing out glasses of ale and everyone was loud and merry. They drank deeply, splashing beer all down their beards and really there was not much to be said for table manners at all. Poor Bilbo's pantry was empty and as he surveyed this damage the dwarfs began letting out giant burps.<p>

_That is disgusting. _My nose wrinkled. I could generally put up with most any disgusting thing but burping really made me feel sick.

Surprisingly, the dwarfs did begin to clear up after dinner, even if it was not perhaps in the way poor Bilbo wanted.

"Excuse me that is a doily not a dishcloth!"

"But it has holes in it!"

"It's supposed to it's crochet."

"And what a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it."

Grinning at the different conversations taking place I surveyed the room. _It's rather a shame I don't plan on spending any time with this lot. They're pretty amusing._

"I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom they've all but destroyed the plumbing!"

_Oh. Better go see what's up with Bilbo._

I made my way through to where Bilbo was yelling at Gandalf, smiling at the different dwarfs and their antics as I went, just in time to see Ori, (was that his name?), quietly interrupt.

"Scuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

_Awwww, he's so sweet._

"You could…." I began, just as Fili came and stood in front of Bilbo, interrupting me but throwing a wink in my direction.

"Here you go Ori, give it to me." At which point he threw it to his brother Kili who was behind Gandalf and I.

I jumped back out of the way and smiled.

"Excuse me that's my mother's best farthing…" _Whatever the hell is that? Just call it china Bilbo. _"It's over a hundred years old!"

"But Bilbo!" I exclaimed running over to him and grabbing his arm. "That's bloody amazing!"

He glared at me. "Oh shut up Zalia!"

_Oooh and I thought Thorin was grumpy. _

"I think somebody's on his man period." I said nodding to Gandalf who just gave me an amused smile.

I ran over to follow Bilbo eager to see what the banging was going on in the kitchen, and stood next to Flil, who was still throwing plates.

"And can you not do that you'll blunt them!"

"Oooh do you hear that lads, he say's we'll blunt the knives!" Said a dwarf with a strange hat with two side flaps on.

"_Blunt the knives and bend the forks…" _Kili began to sing.

"_Smash the bottles and burn the corks…" _Continued Fili before everyone joined in.

"_Chip the glasses and crack the plates!_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

_Cut the cloth tread on the fat!_

_Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!_

_Pour the milk on the pantry floor!_

_Splash the wine on every door!__  
><em>

_Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;_

_Pound them up with a thumping pole;_

_And when you've finished, if they are whole,_

_Send them down the hall to roll!_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

While this was being sung they managed, somehow, still throwing things around to get the kitchen clear and everything piled up neatly on the table.

I squealed loudly in the doorway and clapped as enthusiastically as I possibly could. "THAT WAS FRICKIN AWESOME!"

The dwarfs smiled and bowed modestly, I'm not sure they understood much more than that they were being paid a compliment.

And Bilbo, well he shot me a withering look. "Why did I let you in again?"

I crossed my arms and frowned at him. "That's not very nice."

Suddenly everybody was silenced at a loud knock on the door and Gandalf ominously proclaimed, "He is here."

* * *

><p>When the door swung open I found myself relived to finally see Thorin.<p>

_Finally, and he tells me I take forever. _

"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find, I lost my way twice, wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." He said throwing off his cloak glancing around and frowning as he came inside. I was hidden towards the back of the group.

"Mark," Bilbo stepped out looking fretful once more. "There is no mark on that door it was painted a week ago."

"There is a mark, I put it there myself." Said Gandalf kindly but very matter-of-fact like. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

"So." Said Thorin stepping up to Bilbo and giving him the once over, crossing his arms. _Oh not good, scary, gruff, unfriendly Thorin's back. _"This is the hobbit. Tell me Mr Baggins have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?"

"Axe or sword?" Thorin asked walking around Bilbo as if sizing him up. "What's your weapon of choice?"

"Well I do have some skill at conkers if you must know… but I fail to see why that's relevant." Said Bilbo trying to imitate Thorins tone as I choked down a guffaw.

_Oh poor, poor Bilbo. _

"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

The dwarfs all gave a short laugh at this. I frowned. _Now, now Thorin, play nicely. _

He began to make his way through the hobbit hole towards where the table now sat.

"Forget about me so easily can you?!" I asked slipping out of a hallway and walking next to him as he passed.

This action seemed to stop the dwarfs, Gandalf and Bilbo dead.

Thorin and I stopped walking too at the sudden silence.

"Zalia." He said a tone laced with relief, pulling me into a hug. "You made it. I was afraid you wouldn't when I myself got turned around twice."

"Well like you said, mark on the door." I pulled back smiling. "Kept me waiting though, and you say I take forever."

It seemed this was all a bit much for poor Bilbo. "THIS?! THIS IS THE FRIEND YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?!"

I stepped back to look at him, pulling my head back slightly and giving a little frown. _Man he's pissed. _

"Well… yeah."

"So you knew about this…?" He asked sounding rather defeated. "All of this? And you never thought you'd mention it."

"Well… them…" I swept my hand towards the other dwarfs. "No. Him…" I pointed towards Thorin. "Yes. But it's hardly my fault you don't ask the right questions. Never asked if I was waiting for a dwarf when they all began appearing did you? Just assumed I was waiting for a hobbit. Quite silly when you think about it."

He threw me a half-hearted glare and I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Okay, okay. You make a good point." He acknowledged, and with this we all began making our way into the table area once more.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay slightly hugely long this time, but I wanted to get to this point so that next chapter I can add a bit more ZaliaFili interaction and so that they can start the journey soon. **

**Thanks for all the reviews, favourites, and follows. Let me know what you think!**

**Sorry if you got this chapter update twice! I had a few typos in it that were really bothering me that I hadn't noticed when I posted it! **

**Rue.**


	4. The Quest And The Contract

We made it back to the table with Bilbo, bless his little heart, following behind and looking more than a little worse for wear.

"Zalia, find a seat first."

_It appeared bossy Thorin was indeed back. _

Still it was easier to accept the fact he was going to be bossy than to argue with him about it. That I had discovered from trying and failing before. So running one hand softly through my hair I took up a place on the bench at the end of the table and smiled at him. He gave me a pointed look, one which, quite clearly meant don't try to sass me, smart-ass.

_Spoilsport._

After a lot of jostling around and once everyone was in the room the conversation finally started. A conversation, slightly hard to focus on when one is sandwiched between Kili and Fili, not that I'm complaining, but still.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked.

_Wow. I do not know where that is… or who was meant to come to this meeting…. Maybe I haven't been asking Thorin the right questions in the past few weeks. _

"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

At this announcement all the dwarfs made a happy motion and a small moment of gleeful laughter was shared around the table.

_The dwarfs have seven kingdoms? Most certainly have not been asking the right questions then…_

I made a slightly confused face and more of an effort to listen.

* * *

><p>As it turned out this was a very important conversation for me to understand, it is the foundation of the adventure and the part in the tale at which one can usually see most dwarflings becoming enchanted by the more serious turn in the story. Personally, speaking as one who was there, it was one of the most baffling, funny and yet serious conversations… (Or perhaps a more appropriate word is meetings), that I have ever partaken in.<p>

* * *

><p>"And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" Asked Dwalin.<p>

_Who is Dain? Obviously a dwarf who lives in the Iron Hills. I really don't think I'm taking in much of this…_

Thorin sighed as he looked around the table. "They will not come."

Everyone seemed to let out a slightly, disappointed groan at this, although the answer was, seemingly, expected.

"That doesn't sound good." I muttered.

Fili glanced down at me quizzically. I shrugged my shoulders at him. "What? It doesn't." At this he gave a weak smile and let out a little chuckle, before gazing at Thorin again, obviously interested in what he had to say next.

_Of course he's interested you idiot. He knows what the hell they're all talking about. _

"They say this quest is ours and ours alone."

This time I was certain I didn't imagine the disappointed groans and sighs at Thorins words.

"You… you're going on a quest?" Bilbo piped up from where he was standing next to Gandalf.

"Well no shit Sherlock."

Fili and Kili guffawed at my outburst while Thorin merely threw me a puzzled look. "Sherlock? I thought his name was Bilbo Baggins…"

"Well yeah… it is… I mean it was just a saying, yanno cause like… Sherlock is a detective… Sherlock Holmes." I was clearly fumbling this explanation. "He had er…. Dr Watson as his sidekick…"

"What's a detective?" Asked Kili peering at me curiously, actually by this point the whole table was peering at me curiously.

"Well yanno… someone who solves crimes for a living… like murders or thefts or…" I looked around, I was clearly not getting anywhere. Although the little one, I think his name was Ori, was scribbling all of this down rather excitedly. "Just… it doesn't matter. Forget I said anything."

One of the dwarfs opposite me grunted and I looked at him and then… fell backwards straight off my seat.

"Ahhh!"

Thorin put his head in his hands, while everyone around the table laughed and I struggled to right myself. It was, ridiculously harder than it would have been had I still been a proper sized human being, just as I was getting rather desperate I felt hands grasp me around my waist and I looked up. Fili was holding on to me, he gave me a quick, mischievous, rather sly grin and pulled me up.

"There you go My Lady."

I was, by this point, blushing rather profusely. "Thank you…." I looked back over at the dwarf who had grunted. "You… you have an axe in your head."

This sent up another round of laughter from the table. "What?!" I exclaimed. "It's not funny, shouldn't we help him?!"

"Oh, Bifur's alright lassie." Said the dwarf with the funny hat, "He's been like that for years, doesn't really affect him, except he can only speak in Khuzdul now."

"Right and what is that?"

"The dwarf language My Lady." He gave me a cheery grin.

I nodded, "Oh well… okay then… and please stop with the My Lady thing, my name is Zalia."

"Bofur, at your service."

"Nice to meet you." I grinned back at him, before glancing up at a still confused Bilbo and a not so patient looking Thorin. "I'll just shut up now...I quite like my tongue where it is thanks."

Thorin acknowledged this statement with a very sly grin, whilst everyone else remained blissfully unaware of what was going on.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Gandalf it appeared was taking this all in his stride. "Far to the east, over ranges and rivers," He began to lay out what appeared to be a map on the table in front of Thorin.

_So damn small! I'm at the other end of the table how am I meant to be able to see it from here! _

"Beyond woodlands and wastelands," Gandalf continued. "Lies a single solitary peak." He pointed to a spot on the map.

Bilbo lent over Thorins shoulder next to Gandalf with a candle to see by. "The Lonely Mountain." He read.

_I'm following this quite well. _I thought as the meeting continued. It turned out that Oin, one of the grey bearded dwarfs, but not the one who offered me tea, had read something which told them it was time.

"….The reign of the beast will end." Oin announced.

At this I lent round Fili, or more, across him, (which now I look back on it was quite an embarrassing move), because this was the first I'd heard of any beast and Oin was sitting on his other side.

"Beast, what beast?"

"Er… yes... what beast?" Asked Bilbo.

_Good man. Great teamwork going on here. _

"Oh that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." Bofur answered in a rather terrifying tone of voice, I felt it held far too much tension to it.

"What is a Smaug exactly?" Everyone at the table seemed to look at me with a sort of disbelief except Thorin, Gandalf and Bilbo.

"Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals." Bofur informed Bilbo and I.

Bilbo wrung his hands together. "Yes I know what a dragon is."

"Dragon!" I looked a Thorin imploringly. "A DRAGON!" I said drawing out the word. "You didn't think that was an important detail?"

He shrugged at me. "Doesn't change anything does it? Besides what was the point of scaring you too soon? I told you you'd find out later… and you have so…" He shrugged.

"Well it kinda lowers my chances of survival. First I wake up in a forest getting chased but some crazy creature thing!"

"An orc." He put in helpfully, seemingly enjoying my breakdown.

"And now you want me to come within the vicinity of a dragon? Really?" By the end my tone was the one of disbelief.

"Well… where else do you plan on going?"

"I…. that is beside the point. _You_ should have told me!"

Once again Thorin just shrugged. "I think you'll be fine."

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"There's just something about you." He finished.

"Yeah well… if I don't die within the next week, it'll be a bloody miracle." I said letting my head fall onto the table, still lolling across Fili's lap.

"Nonsense lassie, we'll look after ya." Boomed Dwalin.

I looked up; the rest of the dwarves seemed to agree from their vigorous nodding, although I was still certain they had no idea why I was coming on this quest of theirs. "Well, cheers." I said still quite pale.

"I'm not afraid! I'm up for it! I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksey!" Ori shouted standing up.

"Good lad Ori!" Shouted some of the others, while Dori exclaimed, "Sit down!" and pulled him back into his seat.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." Announced Balin.

"Well, way to be the buzzkill buddy."

"What does that even mean?" Asked Fili, with confusion lacing his voice as he looked down at me where I was still sprawled across his lap.

I became immediately red, "Oh well… I'm sorry." I said trying to move.

He gave me a wide grin. "Uh uh! Not until you answer my question."

I blushed an even deeper shade of red. "Well it means that… that was not a very helpful statement…" I paused to look around, the dwarves were all in an uproar of some kind, defending themselves. "Clearly."

Fili glanced around himself before setting his eyes back on me and grinning once more. "Clearly."

With that he let me go and I was finally once again in my own seat.

_What were you thinking?! You Zalia Lucas are such an embarrassment, how in the holy hell do you manage to do these things to yourself? Do you realise how hot he is? And funny? And god knows what else and you just have to embarrass yourself every time…_

My inner monologue was cut short by Fili himself. "We may be few in number! But we're fighters!" He banged his fist on the table for emphasis and the table shook. "To the last one!"

_Oh he is certainly something special. _

"Do not forget we have a wizard in our company Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!" Kili continued.

From Gandalfs mumbling and question avoidance techniques as they asked how many, I gathered, this was not the case. Not at all.

_Or he could have never seen a dragon before in his life. _I kept this suggestion to myself, secretly I didn't want to admit out loud that this was most likely the case.

The table got rowdier and rowdier as they jumped up wanting an answer from Gandalf, until quite suddenly it seemed, Thorin was yelling. Everything fell immediately silent, and once again I managed to embarrass myself by latching onto Filis arm as if I was in some sort of danger.

I gave an embarrassed throat clear and let go listening intently to Thorin, who was standing at the head of the table speaking.

"If we have read these signs do you not _think_ others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years! Eyes look east to the mountain assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected? Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to TAKE BACK EREBOR?!"

There was a large clamouring shout, like a battle cry as the dwarves rose to their feet clearly voicing their agreement with Thorin.

"You forget! The front gate is sealed!" Stated Balin loudly. _Starting to think he may be the logical voice of reason here. _"There is no way into the mountain."

"That my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf countered producing a key.

"How came you by this?" Asked Thorin, his voice barely above a whisper.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain." I looked round at Kili and Fili who seemed to have straightened staring intently at this key. "For safe-keeping, it is yours now." He passed the key to Thorin.

"If there is a key, there must be a door." Fili said whilst Thorin looked at the key still in a state of shock.

_Well that's normally the idea. Perhaps he's not the brightest bulb in the box. _

"These runes," said Gandalf once again pointing at something on the map I couldn't see. "speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

"There's another way in." Kilis voice was slightly awed and yet excited.

"Well if we can find it but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Said Gandalf sighing.

"Well who's bright idea was that!" I exclaimed.

"Made sense for keeping people out!" One of the dwarves whose names I'd yet to learn argued.

"Not to helpful now you want to get in though is it!" I rebutted, "Clever, but not exactly helpful!"

"She's right." Fili acknowledged.

I grinned at him. "Thank you."

"The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map." Gandalf continued cutting us off again. "And I do not have the skill to find it, _but_ there are others in Middle-Earth who can."

_Middle-Earth… like…. Oh my god I'm in the fuckin lord of the rings prequel. Not good, not good, not good. _

My eyes visibly widened and it seemed Gandalf noticed this. I was glad; I think I'd be needing words with that wizard later.

_Why did I never read The Hobbit? For that matter why did I never read The Lord Of The Rings? Oh yeah because I was going to see the movies…. And then I didn't. Damn, damn, damn. _

He had other things to do now though. "The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." His eyes went to Bilbo. "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar!" Said Ori.

_Ori is really just too sweet. _

"Hmm, and a good one too, an expert I'd imagine." Bilbo announced. _Oh I see where this is going… poor Bilbo. _

"And are you?" Asked one dwarf.

Another with an ear trumpet announced "He said he's an expert, hey hey!"

_You fell right into that one mate._

"Me no, no, no, no, no! I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr Baggins." Balin interjected. "He's hardly burglar material."

Bilbo it seemed, was quite pleased with this turn of events.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin agreed with his brother.

"So I can totally crash here with Bilbo then!" I exclaimed.

"No." Thorin gave me a hard look. "You come with us." _I was totally hoping he wouldn't understand what that meant and agree. This sucks. _

"Damn it! I am totally gonna die!" I whined.

Thorin just shook his head as conversation broke out around the table.

"Listen, Uncle Thorin wouldn't say you could come if he didn't think you'd be alright." Kili said from one side of me.

"Besides we'll look after you and help teach you to fight." Fili offered.

I looked from one to the other amazed. "Hang on… Uncle Thorin?"

They nodded at me.

_Wait these are Thorins nephews! I'm not even that good looking at twenty. How can they possibly be eighty two and seventy seven!_

"No way! Totally not fair!" I moaned. _  
><em>

Before they could ask what exactly was unfair Gandalf had made his presence known once more. "Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar then a burglar he is."

He seemed to rise up and dark shadows spread behind him as his voice took on a deeper more chilly tone. It was bloody terrifying and of course I proved this by grabbing Fili once again.

_Eventually he's gonna get really pissed off with this. I need to get back into that arrogant response to fear, just say silly insulting stuff to make myself feel brave._

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet, in fact they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him which gives us a _distinct_ advantage!"

Bilbo's attempts at protesting it seemed, were falling on deaf ears.

"You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company and I have chosen Mr Baggins, there is a lot more to him than appearances suggest and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know!" Gandalf finished. "Including himself, you must trust me on this."

Thorin seemed to take a moment to think on it.

"I think he should come!" I interceded.

Thorin raised an eyebrow at me while Bilbo exclaimed, "Zalia!"

"What?! If I'm gonna be dragged along practically useless I totally think it's only fair that you have to come to! Then I don't have to be useless on my own!"

"You make the oddest turns of phrase." Fili stated.

"Shut up." I muttered, "I'm trying to be convincing here, not odd."

* * *

><p>"Very well." Thorin relented. "We will do it your way. Give him the contract."<p>

"No, no, no, please…" Bilbo's pleading words fell on deaf ears.

Balin stood. "It's just the usual," He said handing over a large folded up wad of parchment. "out of pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."

"Funeral arrangements…" Bilbo muttered, at which point I got up and dived across the now empty table.

"That's not very ladylike." Announced Bofur.

"Who said I was a lady?!" I shot back as I began reading over Bilbo's shoulder.

It seemed that Thorin and Gandalf were having a little heart to heart but that was neither here nor there to me. I wanted to read this thing.

"Terms: Cash on delivery up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit if any. Seems fair." Bilbo muttered as he read.

"Bilbo…" I pointed further down the page where I was reading.

It was all about the responsibilities of the company when it came to injuries. At least Bilbo seemed as troubled by it as I did.

"Lacerations, evisceration…" He read on. "Incineration?!"

"Oh aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur told him.

"Uh…"

"You alright laddie?" Asked Balin kindly.

"Yeah I think I…ooh." He lent on his knees and breathed in and out quickly a few times. "Feel a bit faint."

"Don't do it mate. Massive headache." Perhaps not helpful but at least it gave him a reason not to faint and honestly, fainting had hurt, it was the least I could do, inform him of what he was in for.

"Think furnace with wings." Bofur said standing up.

"Actually I'd rather not." I tried to give Bofur a compelling look as I spoke, willing him to shut up.

_Sit down and shut up! You are not helping! _

But suffice to say, that failed.

"Air, air, air, I need air." Bilbo continued.

"Flash of light, searing pain then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

_Bofur shut up! _

"You alright mate?" I asked Bilbo putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Nope."

I jumped straight out of the way as he fainted.

"Oh very helpful Bofur." Said Gandalf getting up.

"SCORE!"

The dwarves and Gandalf looked at me slightly amused.

"What?! I didn't faint this time! That's cause for celebration. Makes us equal." I said in a matter of fact tone as I pointed to Bilbo.

"This time?" Asked Dwalin.

Gandalf was taking Bilbo into his sitting room. "You know… I'm totally gonna help him."

Thorin chuckled.

"Where did you meet her Thorin? Why is she coming with us?" Balin asked as I left the room.

"Well… I'll have to start by explaining what she was doing before she got here…"

* * *

><p><strong>Right that's the next chapter up, so I think it'll be a talk with Gandalf next and getting to know the dwarves a bit. Plus the start of the quest, how exciting! I finally get to build up the ZaliaFili interaction. **

**Hope you liked it. Thank you for the reviews! **

**Rue.**


	5. Bets and Cigarettes

Gandalf and I managed, rather successfully if I do say so myself, to get Bilbo into his armchair. I didn't much feel like returning to the dwarves while they were discussing my grievous journey so far, so I settled for taking up residence on the floor next to Bilbo.

"Perhaps now would be the time to explain your story my dear."

I sighed, being in a room alone with Gandalf I should have known that was coming.

* * *

><p>Suffice to say it would not be purposeful to explain the whole tale once more so I will settle at this. I explained my past to Gandalf, along with the events leading up to that present moment. If you have read thus far, then you will have a pretty good idea of what was said, and anything which you do not know…well it must not yet be the time for you to learn of it.<p>

* * *

><p>"So…yeah." <em>Not the best finish Zalia but still I suppose it will have to do. <em>

I stopped studying Bilbo's feet, for that was what I had been doing, (rather large and hairy they were too!), and looked up at Gandalf.

He seemed to be contemplating, but then… "I often find, once someone comes from one world into another things change."

_What? Does he have to be so bloody cryptic? This has happened before?!_

"So the books and movies where I'm from…"

"Might indeed be true accounts in your world my dear, but as you are here now one could argue that things will change. That is to say, that you will change things. Hopefully for the better!"

I frowned puzzling over this for a moment. "But I don't know what I have to change."

"My dear," Gandalf gave me one of his 'looks' the look he gives when he wants to make a rather life changing point it seems. "I don't think you need to."

* * *

><p>Bilbo at this point woke up. I would love to say he jumped from his seat but he didn't. I'd also love to say he'd become brave, but he hadn't. In fact what he actually did was…<p>

"Zalia, can I trouble you for a cup of tea?"

I laughed. "I'd say from all the trouble I've brought you that would be entirely possible."

Leaving the room I made my way down the hall to the kitchen and made the tea, Thorin it seemed had finished explaining my story and dwarves were now wandering around the 'hobbit hole', for that's what Bilbo informed me his home was, at their leisure.

"What'cha doing?" Kili had popped up at the side of me.

"JESUS!" I exclaimed holding my hand over my heart. "Don't do that!"

He laughed heartily.

"But what are you doing?" Fili suddenly appeared the other side of me.

I grasped at my chest again. "Are you two joined at the hip or something?" I said in my most challenging tone of voice.

"Are you going to answer the question?" Fili was now stood in front of me, with his hands on the counter either side. _Oh god. I'm trapped._ And I was trapped, because after seeing some of the things they'd lifted and pushed and moved, well, I was not going to be able to push him away unless he wanted me too.

Of course this didn't stop me trying.

"What exactly are you trying to do?" My hands were placed against his chest, which was hard and firm under my touch and making it rather hard for me to concentrate, but I was trying to push him away with all my might. He did not move an inch.

"Well if you must know I'm making Bilbo tea." I turned to stop myself looking foolish and just looked even more foolish as he pulled me back around and placed his hands once more either side of me, only this time he also stepped closer so I was pinned by his chest.

_Oh my golly gosh. _As Fili stared down at me with, quite possibly, the sexiest smirk known to man gracing his lips I rather got lost letting my eyes roam and taking in every inch of his face. Willing myself to remember it. _He is simply divine. _

The moment was broken as the water boiled. He stepped back slightly and I hurriedly busied myself with finishing the job. "And it's ready, so if you'll excuse me."

"Of course Mimur, I am sorry to have interrupted such an important task." He gracefully bowed out of my way as Kili snorted.

"Thank you!" I said… well if I'm honest it was a rather snotty 'thank you' but I'm pretty sure he was making fun of me.

I passed Thorin in the hallway as I walked back towards Bilbo, he was talking to Balin. "I think your nephews are making fun of me."

He sighed, "What did they do?"

"Don't know. I don't speak dwarf do I!"

Balin chuckled, "Pay them no mind lass!"

"Easy for you to say," I murmured, "They're not making fun of you…" I thought it best to stop complaining if I wanted Bilbo to come with us. "Here you go Bilbo."

"Thank you." He smiled at me. "I'll be alright, just let me…sit quietly for a moment."

"You've been sitting quietly for far too long!" Gandalf exclaimed. "Tell me when did doilies and you're mothers dishes become so important to you?"

At this point, without giving Bilbo a chance to answer, he began to explain what Bilbo used to be like and gave a bit of a history lesson on Bilbo's 'Took side' which is another story, for another time, not particularly relevant at all. Although it did involve battles, and strangely enough golf.

_Who would have thought? No electricity but they have golf in Middle Earth. _

"Can you promise I'll come back?" Asked Bilbo after this speech.

_Say yes, say yes. _

"No…" _Damn you Gandalf. _"And if you do you will not be the same."

"That's what I thought. Sorry Gandalf, I can't sign this." Bilbo got up and began to leave the room. "You've got the wrong hobbit."

"Noooo! Bilbo!" I chased after him. "We have the right hobbit! A good hobbit! The BEST hobbit!" I clung to him, I am again ashamed to say, quite pathetically. "Don't leave me; come on it'll be fun! And… like there's only what… an… eighty percent chance you'll die! Those are good odds!"

"They are terrible odds!" Kili exclaimed sticking his head out of the kitchen with Fili by his side.

My head whipped to face him and I snapped, "You are not helping!" Bilbo was not convinced however.

"I just, I can't sign it Zalia."

I looked at him imploringly, "Of course you can, you're Bilbo Baggins. I'm pretty sure you know how to write, you've had dwarves and well…me, invade your house, you took it all on the chin! What more trouble could a dragon be!"

He smiled at me. "You…" He said placing his finger under my chin and tilting it upwards, "I will miss, but I just can't do it."

I sighed. _Well at least you tried. _

"Come on, I'll show you where you can sleep."

I followed Bilbo, allowed him to show me the guest room and potter about, right before he went to retire for the night though I stopped him. "I don't want you to regret not coming Bilbo. It's a once in a lifetime thing, but you've been good to me, kind, and I do want you to be happy."

He smiled, "I will be." and left closing the door behind him.

_I know_ I thought smirking. "If Bilbo Baggins doesn't join us tomorrow…" I announced to the empty room. "I'll eat my shoe."

* * *

><p>The next morning was rather eventful, well for me anyway. Not so much at breakfast, not even so much when we left Bilbo's house to go to the ponies and supplies, but more the getting onto the pony itself.<p>

"Have you ridden a pony before?" Asked Ori kindly as the dwarves finished fastening the supplies.

"I've ridden a horse before… but I was… bigger then."

I was eyeing the ponies rather sceptically. I'd already tried to mount one when no one was looking earlier and that, was not my best idea because within seconds I was on the floor.

"And are you a good rider?" I scoffed at Thorins question.

"No. Dad was teaching me but…" I trailed off and saw the hint of sympathy in everyone's eyes. "So… well… yeah."

"Well you will ride with someone then." Thorin announced.

"She can ride with me Uncle. Come on Mimur I'll help you up." Fili said appearing at my side.

I groaned as everyone around us began to chuckle. "What does that even mean?"

* * *

><p>"Do you think he'll come?" Asked Bofur.<p>

"Who?" Kili called back.

"Bilbo."

"No way." Kili yelled.

"Certainly not." Fili shouted from behind me.

"He'll come!" The dwarves fell into silence. "I know he will!"

"And I agree with Zalia. Mr Baggins will most certainly join us." Announced Gandalf.

"Oh yeah?" Asked Nori. "Willing to bet on it?"

"I most certainly will."

"What about you?" Fili asked me. "Lost confidence in the little fellow."

I craned my neck around to look up at him. "No. I just don't have anything to bet with."

"Sure you do!" Fili exclaimed.

"What do you want?" I asked, it was unwise to bet without knowing what you were betting but I was certain.

"I'll think about it, and you what do you want?"

I shrugged, "I'll think about it."

For the next ten minutes I became tenser by the second. It was becoming more and more likely that Bilbo was not going to come and that meant that I wasn't entirely certain what Fili would be asking me for. How troubling. It didn't help that Fili was sat right behind me, so close that as I leaned back to make an attempt at being more comfortable I found myself resting on his chest and one of his hands left the reigns to grip me around the waist.

_Oh dear, what do I do? What do I do?! Just relax Zai just relax. It's not a problem; he's just making sure you don't fall. _

"So Zalia, which relatives did you stay with when your father passed?" Balin, bless his heart was attempting to make conversation.

"None." I answered.

"You are married then?" I swear for the slightest second I felt Fili's grip tighten as he waited for me to answer Balin.

"No. Where I come from it's quite common for a woman to live alone if she wants to and have a job. I don't think I would have chosen to but I didn't have any relatives to go to so needs must and that was the end of university for me."

"What's university lass?" The question, this time came from Dwalin.

"It's a massive school I suppose, when you've done all your compulsory schooling you go there, pay a fortune too actually, and work there for three years or so. Then at the end you get a small piece of paper, called a qualification which helps you get a better job."

"Why do you need a piece of paper? Why do people not just see that you're good at what you do and employ you to do it?" Ori asked. It was then I noticed he was scribbling all of this down.

I looked at his eager face and smiled, really puzzling over the answer to his question, it seemed to mean so much to him. However, I found myself unable to answer. "I don't know Ori, that's just how it works."

_How can he write and ride a pony at the same time?! _

"Strange world you come from Miss Zalia."

"I know Dori. I know." I smirked.

We lapsed back into silence for a while and then quite suddenly. "WAIT! WAIT!"

Everyone pulled their ponies to a standstill. "I don't believe it." Fili murmured.

"I signed it!" Said Bilbo, waving his contract around as he stopped next to Balins pony.

I risked a glance at Fili to smirk at him. He pressed his lips into a thin line and gave Balin a hard stare.

"Everything appears to be in order." Announced Balin, "Welcome Master Baggins to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." At this point the company let out little cheers.

"Well, I hate to say I told you so… but I totally told you so!" I said poking my tongue out at Kili who was looking rather glum next to us.

"What do you want?" Fili whispered in my ear.

_Oh! _I felt myself flush as his breath ghosted over my neck and made me feel a rather tingly sensation.

"I'll think about it."

"Give him a pony!" Thorin yelled and with this the whole company began to move once more.

"No, no, no. That won't be necessary thank you very much, I'm sure I can keep up!"

_Oh Bilbo not again, I feel your pain man, I really do. _

"I've done my fair share of walking holidays…"

"Take the reins." Fili whispered, I sighed sat up straight and did as he asked. _I really hope I don't have to lead this thing for long. _

"I even got as far as Frogmorton once. AHHH!"

Chuckling heavily I pronounced, "Good to see you again Bilbo!" With a large smile, as he was lifted by the shoulders by Fili and Kili and deposited on another pony.

* * *

><p>You would think that now our company was complete we could be getting on our way. With Bilbo Baggins in our company however, that was not the case. Just as we were feeling like we were on our way there came a shout, and a rather panicked shout at that.<p>

"STOP! STOP! We have to turn around!"

Gandalf looked down at Bilbo from where he was riding next to him. "What on earth is the matter?"

"I've forgotten my handkerchief."

Bofur tore a portion of his shirt off, "Here!" he said throwing it to Bilbo. "Use this!"

"Do you have a handkerchief?" Fili asked as we continued on our way.

"Why on earth would I want one of those?!"

This reply seemed to amuse the brothers, to no end.

* * *

><p>It was a long hard day's riding but eventually we stopped for the night on the edge of a little cliff. Many of the dwarves lay down to sleep but I stayed up sitting with Kili and Fili by the fire.<p>

Fili puffed away on his pipe. _I really miss cigarettes. _I absently played with my lip ring as I thought about it.

"Can I try?" I asked turning towards him.

"Try what?" He countered.

I nodded at his pipe. He took it from his mouth and bit his lip. "Well, I suppose I don't see why not."

"Thanks."

_Oh glory be to God on highest! It tastes like a cigarette. _

"Yep," I passed it back to him. "I've decided what I want."

Raising his eyebrows he smirked at me. "And what would that be?"

"Pipe tobacco."

To this day Fili's voice when it's full of laughter is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. "Really?"

My head shook with the force of my nods and I beamed at him as brightly as I could holding my hand out. "Pay up."

Rolling his eyes in a rather dramatic fashion he dug around in his pocket. "Here."

The little bag was a soft material, far softer than velvet but not unlike it. I opened it up and sighed at the wonderful smell. "Cheers."

Standing and stretching made my bones pop and man did it feel good. Bofur was sat off to the side messing around with a piece of wood.

"Hey Bofur." I said sliding up next to him.

His face immediately came over with a faux shock horror. "Oh no, I know that tone. What do you want lassie?"

"Have you possibly got a spare pipe oh Bofur old chum? Old pal?"

The booming laughter that left him at my obvious poor attempt at flattery as I grinned laying my head on his shoulder and fluttering my eye lids was epic. Bofur, for those of you reading this that have the unfortunate luck not to have met him, has one of the happiest, most contagious laughs you will ever hear.

"Sure I do." He got up and went over to his pack, dug around a little and finally came back to me. "Here."

"Thanks mate, you are a total ledge."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Oh really? What a shame?" And with a smile and a wink, I left Bofur laughing to himself as I made my way back to Fili and Kili chuckling.

Then came the horrible screech.

"What was that?!" Bilbo, who had been over feeding his pony and thinking he was being sly about it until a second ago, was suddenly next to the fire.

"Orcs." Kili's voice was low and he lifted his head with a worrying expression donning his face.

"Oh my days not again!" I moaned. "Okay who's up for giving me a crash course? Orc killing 101? Anyone?"

Dwalin sniggered. Yes, you read that right, the giant, scary, gruff dwarf one often finds just generally frightening anyone who doesn't know him really well actually sniggered at me.

"I know enough to know lassie, that if they're coming now we don't have time for that!" He answered. "Maybe next time we stop."

"Well perfect… it's a date. If I'm yanno… _ALIVE_ then!" I was once again, slightly freaking out.

"Orcs?" Bilbo continued in a questioning tone as I sat down between Fili and Kili.

_Might as well be next to someone I know is armed to the teeth. Maybe I can steal a pointy thing. Quite literally a pointy anything. _

"Throat cutters," Fili informed Bilbo, "they'll be dozens of them out there."

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. "You don't want to meet them Bilbo mate, they are some freak-ass looking scary-sonsabitches." I informed him in my most serious voice, feeling myself paling by the second.

"I…what?" He asked.

"Lowlands are crawling with them." Kili continued, "They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." My grip was gradually tightening on Fili's hand but he didn't seem to mind.

_If there's gonna be an attack he's gonna need his hand. _I attempted to reason with myself but it was no use.

"Quick and quiet no screams, just lots of blood." Bilbo turned to look out over the landscape again and Fili and Kili started to chuckle.

"You BASTARDS!" I exclaimed dropping Fili's hand and slapping him and Kili both on the arm.

"You think that's funny?! You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?" Thorin demanded coming to glare at his nephews.

"We didn't mean anything by it." Muttered Kili looking ashamed.

"No you didn't, you know nothing of the world!" Thorin sounded more pissed off than I thought I'd ever seen him.

"I'm sorry." Fili gulped, putting his arm around me and pulling me close.

"Me too." Kili said looking between Bilbo and I.

"Well good. You should be." I said glaring, although I wasn't quite at the stage of anger where I was willing to move from Fili's warm embrace, especially when it was giving me such nice tingles.

"Don't mind him laddie, Thorin has more cause than most, to hate orcs." Balin told us as he came over. He told us the tale of the pale orc who killed Thorin's grandfather and who's arm Thorin cut off.

_Oh my days, Thorin's a king. Which makes Fili and Kili princes… why does no one seem to think this is important information to impart within me?!_

"What happened to the pale orc?" Asked Bilbo.

"That filth crawled back into the hole from whence he came!" Exclaimed Thorin coming to rest against the rock next to Kili. "He died of his wounds long ago."

I stood up and dusted off my breeches thoroughly and lit a twig from the fire before making my way over to Thorin and leaning on the rock next to him. I stuffed the tobacco in my pipe and used the twig to light it, before stomping the twig out.

"So that's why you saved me then? Not so much because you liked me but because you hate orcs?"

Thorin glanced at me, "Yes, and since then I have found you are much like the daughter I never wanted. I never wanted children at all, especially after my nephews were born."

"Yanno, if you're trying to make me feel better you're doing a shit job of it."

Thorin chuckled. "Well let me finish then. BUT, since then I have found that I have grown fond of you and now, well I quite like you being around. It's nice. Having a female charge. Different, but nice."

I puffed on my pipe. "You're not so bad yourself you know."

"Hmmm." He looked over at me.

"You remind me of my dad, in ways, but in other ways you're complete opposites. You're a lot gruffer than my dad for sure but I think you know, I'm coming to care for you like I did him. I'm rather enjoying it actually, having someone about who cares about my well-being again."

We stood silently for a couple of seconds, I puffed away on my pipe.

"I wouldn't be without you, you know. I know perhaps, you are not best equipped for this journey but I think you'll do fine and, I just could not leave you in someone else's care."

I grinned at him. "Well, that's good. Don't think I would've appreciated it much, not really, not once you'd left…" I puffed on my pipe again. "So king under the mountain huh? Didn't think that was an important piece of information?"

"Not yet."

"No maybe not yet. But soon, I bet on Bilbo and I'd bet on you. You'll make a great King."

"Get some sleep Zalia."

I clapped him on the shoulder before sauntering back over to Kili and Fili.

* * *

><p>"You know… we're Thorin's heirs." Kili announced proudly, "That makes us princes."<p>

I gave him a side-long glance from the corner of my eye. "Does it now?"

"Yes."

"Well… not for much longer."

"Excuse me?!" Kili exclaimed.

"Not when I throw you off this damn cliff, keep making jokes like earlier!"

He glared at me and ruffled my hair. I grinned at him. "Well prince two, I'm going to go to sleep now if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

"Prince one!" I addressed Fili.

He grinned at me the widest most endearing grin I've ever seen. "Yes My Lady?"

"What do you suggest I use as a pillow on this fine night?"

Chuckling he pulled my bedroll around, so it made a 'T' shape with his which he was currently sitting on and patted his lap. "I think I have something which would be of use."

* * *

><p>I grinned to myself as I lay down to go to sleep that night. One would think it would be awkward but Fili and Kili were relatively easy to get on with, and having spent most of the day invading each-others personal space the boundaries Fili and I had were perhaps less ridged than those of two people who have just met. I can't say it's something I particularly thought about at the time. But I do know now, I'm so glad of it. I believe personally, the fast friendships I formed with the company, are what helped me get through. And Fili and I… well… we were a special case now weren't we.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>And they're off! Honestly wasn't planning on posting another today but inspiration struck! <strong>

**Hope you liked it.**

**Rue.**


	6. Alcoholics Anonymous

"Right, let me see if I've got this straight. There's Thorin, who is your uncle. Then you two," I pointed to Fili and Kil, "who are called Fili and Kili and are brothers."

Kili nodded encouragingly at me.

"Then there's Balin and Dwalin, also brothers. Then… Bifur who is Bofur and Bomburs cousin and Bofur and Bombur are brothers." I pointed each dwarf out as I spoke, Kili kept nodding at me to let me know if I was right or not.

I twisted in my seat so I could see the dwarves behind us. Fili put a hand on my waist and held me steady.

"Don't let me fall." I muttered as I puzzled over the next set.

With a little chuckle he rested his head on top of mine. "Would I?"

"I'm willing to bet you would."

Dropping the reins for a moment he placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking him directly in the eyes. His hands were rough and his skin scratched my face slightly as he touched me, but they were warm and gentle too.

"Never."

"Hmm?"

"I would never let you fall Mimur." The sincerity in his voice also swirled in his eyes and I found myself getting a little lost just staring at him, no thoughts passed through my head, or none important enough that I remember them anyway, I just stared.

"HHHMMHHMMM!" The moment was however, broken as soon as Kili let out his rather obnoxious throat clear. Fili shook his head, dropped his hand and picked up the reins again while I turned a deep red and took to admiring the forest floor.

Reactions Kili found quite amusing if his bark of laughter was anything to go by. "You've only got eight named so far."

"Oh yeah, right. So then you got Oin and Gloin who are brothers." Kili nodded again smiling encouragingly. "And Dori, Nori and Ori all brothers."

"I think you've finally got it!" Kili exclaimed.

"YES!" I pumped my fist in the air. "Only took me three days, right... _shut up!_" I said as Kili went to cut in, probably to ask about my odd behaviour. "I am on a roll. Then you have Bilbo, who is a hobbit. Gandalf, who is a wizard and me who is…whatever the hell I am now."

"Pay up Nori!" Fili shouted.

My jaw dropped open. "You've been betting on me!" I was gob-smacked.

"Yes, but in my defence I won." Fili stated as I turned back around and he caught the small bag of gold that went whizzing by my head.

"I think you'll find Bofur, Dwalin, Balin, Thorin, Bifur and Ori coming into some money too. Everyone else seemed to think Bilbo would get it before you did." He threw me a wink and a smirk. "But I knew you could do it."

"You cheeky little bastard." The smile on my lips might have possibly affected the look of annoyance I was aiming for but still. "Hey wait a minute!" Smile dropping I swung my head around to fix Kili with my most intimidating stare. "That means you didn't bet on me!"

"I wasn't allowed! I was the tester!"

"Sure, pal. Just you wait." I faux threatened shaking my fist.

With the laughter that ensued I don't think any of the company thought much of this.

* * *

><p>When we finally stopped for the night we'd got a lot further than I thought we would but at the same time, nowhere near as far as I was hoping. "I always knew these things weren't like they are in the movies." I muttered as I helped Bofur unload the ponies.<p>

"What's that lassie?"

"Quests mate. In the movies they make it look so exciting and fun and yanno it doesn't seem to take half as long either."

Bofur laughed and offered me a twig to light my pipe with, which I promptly accepted.

"What's a movie?"

I frowned at him, "Well it's like…"

"We'd like to be able to set up camp sometime today!" Yelled Thorin.

"Tell ya later." I said as we shared a knowing smirk and busied ourselves hefting the bags over to the designated fire pit where Bombur was beginning to cook.

"Oh thank God I'm starving." I said as we finally finished freeing the ponies of their burden for the night and giving everyone their stuff to set out.

"Not quite ready yet I'm afraid." Bombur gave me a kind and totally empathetic smile.

_Man what I wouldn't do for a microwave is rapidly becoming a very short list. _

From my side Ori suddenly piped up, "What's a microwave?"

"OH SWEET JESUS!" I fell backwards from my seat on the log, went arse over tit and landed with a loud thud and a groan. The dwarves around me tumbled over laughing.

"Stop it! It's not funny!" I whined.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Ori. I didn't realise I spoke out-loud."

"So what's a microwave?" _I swear the curiosity of these dwarves. _"Well it's..."

"Perhaps another time laddie. Come on lass, Fili's been kind enough to find a blade you can practice with." Dwalin was above me before I even realised it.

"Alright. Orc killing 101. Cool."

* * *

><p>"I'm pretty sure this is meant to be a private class you know!"<p>

As it turned out whether Dwalin was teaching me was neither here nor there because every single dwarf decided to watch and every single dwarf had different pieces of advice.

The only two people who seemed to be staying out of it were Bifur and Gandalf. Thorin and Bilbo had resigned themselves to watching quietly from the side; Bilbo from my best guess because he had about as much of a clue as I did, and Thorin because he was letting everyone else get on with it. I assumed Bifur and Gandalf were keeping out of it because it didn't interest Gandalf and because Bifur knew he couldn't communicate with me to offer any sort of help. As it turned out I was very wrong.

On the third night of my tuition I'd become quite good at blocking and parrying and attacking, although the dwarves couldn't seem to decide whether this meant it was time to move on or whether to continue.

Then Kili seemed to make the most intelligent statement he'd ever made. "It's not under proper attack though so we're never going to know. I think we'd best be done and move on with it."

"Fili, you spar with her for a while." Dwalin said, "It will give us the chance to see how you block two swords."

_Two swords, two swords, okay I can totally do this. Totally, just have to not get distracted because it's Fili, imagine him with no clothes on. NO! Not helping. _

I went bright red from even trying and Kili, seemingly the only one to notice, narrowed his eyes at me and smirked. I glared back.

_Okay two swords right, imagine he is an orc and then…._

In hindsight I totally should have seen it coming. But I didn't, and that ladies and gentleman, was exactly the point.

I was sizing up Fili, trying to work out which sword he was going to swing at my rather pathetic blade, and it was oh so pathetic, (hey you can't blame me Fili's weapons were heavy), but Dwalin promised the more I worked with them the stronger I'd get and eventually it wouldn't be pathetic. Then just as I was coming to the conclusion Fili was going to attack with the left one I felt movement behind me. Yes I do mean felt movement, because I didn't hear a damn thing. Forgetting completely about Fili I swung my whole body round and brought the sword up, "AHHH!" I screamed as I realised just in time it seemed to stop Bifur hitting me over the head with a very large branch.

The dwarves all began cheering and clapping, even Thorin gave me a small smile and let me tell you praise from Thorin is hard won. Bifur pulled the branch back up then I realised two things, one Dwalin would never take it that easy on me and two, Fili is a sneaky bastard. Swinging myself back round I lifted the sword in front of my face just as Fili swung another branch down. This time there was even more uproar.

"WELL DONE LASSIE! YOU'VE JUST EARNED ME A PRETTY PENNY!" Shouted Bofur.

In fact, they all seemed to be celebrating their great achievement. Meanwhile I was lying on my back, on the floor, sweating profusely and kind of in shock.

_Woah, woah. Man, it's okay Zai. It's fine, you did good. Instincts are sharpening they'll be top notch in no time. Yeah… right. _

"Which bright spark came up with that plan?" I asked Bombur who was sitting nearest me.

"Bofur actually." He replied giving me a hearty smile. "He seemed to think you could do it, Kili too, Fili… well I think he thought you could but he didn't like it. Everyone else bet against you."

The dwarves upon hearing Bomburs little speech all looked over at me. "Well thanks guys, that's encouraging." I stated sarcastically from my spot on the ground. "I'm going to get a wash."

* * *

><p>This practice became routine over the next week or so, I would have the dwarves coming at me from all different angles and not have a clue who it was going to be. According to Balin and Dwalin I was improving immensely, far quicker than they could have hoped, the others however, didn't give me such a boost they thought it was best I remained cautious. Even to this day they think that though and now I'm proud to say I'm really good, so I still haven't worked out if they're being caring and friendly or sexist pigs.<p>

* * *

><p>Once it was obvious that I was improving using a blade the others took it upon themselves to try and introduce me to new weapons. This however didn't exactly go the way any of us hoped. Actually it didn't really go at all.<p>

_I am totally gonna get it this time, right there… yep… OH! Oops. _

"Sorry Bilbo!" I physically winced as he stood up from behind the log he'd been resting on, he'd had to roll off it rather quickly as an arrow came soaring towards him.

"Zai, you have the aim of a blind fish." Kili dead-panned.

"Okay so any weapons I need to aim, like throwing weapons are a no go. That's fine."

"What about this lassie?" I looked over to Gloin where he was spinning his axe in his hand.

"Yeah go on Mimur, have fun!" Fili said chuckling and pushing me in the direction of Gloin.

"Sure Gloin why not?" I said in a cheery tone and followed after him as he led me off. When he wasn't looking I quickly snapped my head to the others and gave them my best wide-eyed 'help me' look. No-one wanted to help. They all just smiled, Fili gave me a cheeky little wave and a wink.

"Ten coins says she can't lift it!" I heard Kili exclaim.

"Ten coins says she drops it on her foot." Fili countered.

Unfortunately for me Fili was right.

"OWW! FUCKSHITFUCK FUCK FUCK!"

Kili just sighed as he handed it over.

* * *

><p>"Look at it this way," Said Fili a week later, "It could have been worse, you could have dropped it and ended up cutting your foot off."<p>

"You are not any encouragement." I snapped bitterly.

Letting out a loud laugh he squeezed where he was holding my waist to stop me falling off the pony as I leant against his chest. "I'm sorry Mimur."

"Hey lassie!" Bofur suddenly appeared next to us on his pony. "I just remembered, what's a movie?"

Everyone seemed to quiet down, I had learnt over the past two weeks that they rather liked to hear about my world, said it was interesting.

_How to explain a movie… how to explain a movie…how to…ah I know. _

"Right well it's like people have things called cameras and they record people on them. Like Ori's writing about us while we go but these things you can see what's actually happening you don't have to read it. When you play it back it's like watching it all again so people act out these stories and they become movies and then people go and watch them as a form of entertainment."

"Wow. That sounds pretty amazing." Ori commented.

"I don't feel I do these things justice Ori, if your book ever somehow falls into my world people would probably laugh at how bad I explain things."

Ori vehemently shook his head. "No you do an excellent job. Now what is a microwave?"

I smiled. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>By the time I'd finished explaining a microwave it was time to stop for the night. This was because to explain a microwave you have to explain electricity and if you ever try explaining that to someone with no concept of it at all then you'll understand my pain. I noticed once the dinner Bombur had so graciously cooked had all been passed out that Bilbo was sat on his own. So I took pity on the poor hobbit and went to join him.<p>

The dwarves didn't seem to mind too much, I'd got quite friendly with them all since my 'weapon training' began and they all started seeking me out to make conversation. Even Bifur! Although mostly either Bifur or myself would nod and smile while the other chatted away. The difference being I'm pretty sure he could understand me whereas, I couldn't understand a word he said.

"What's the matter Bilbo?" I plopped onto the floor next to him with my soup.

He sighed and looked over at me woefully. "I don't fit in."

My smile became tight. _He doesn't at all. _"Sure you do."

"They all hate me."

"No they don't!" _That's certainly not true Bombur likes his help with the cooking since he discovered how useless I am and Fili and Kili like him well enough… don't they?_

"They think I'm useless."

"They don't know you. Tell you what make an effort and then decide whether they like you or not, I know I like you and Gandalf and Bombur for certain!"

_I wish you wouldn't look so down like that Bilbo, I can't help but feel guilty for convincing you to come! _

"Well how do I do that?"

"Erm try and sit with us at dinner get to know them! Like ask questions, such as… what do you like to do?"

Bilbos lips pulled tight before he eventually nodded at me. "Okay fine, I'll try."

* * *

><p>It turned out the very next night was Bilbos try night he came to tell me when we stopped so I'd know what was going on at dinner. I nodded and gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile.<p>

"Your hands are tiny."

"No your hands are just creepy huge."

Fili and I were sat waiting for the call of food from Bombur, Kili had gone off messing around with Bofur to get the ponies settled and so for once the two of us were alone.

He was lying on his side and I was leaning against his stomach as we compared our hands. Yes, we had been reduced to this for entertainment. It was a very sad state of affairs I know.

He grinned at me. "If you say so."

"You've got big ears too."

"And you've got tiny ones."

"Touché."

"What does that even mean?"

"What does Mimur mean?" _I totally butchered that word, it sounds all sexy and sweet and mysterious when Fili says it and when I try, it sounds like a drowning cat._

He narrowed his eyes, "Nice try."

"Worth it!"

"FOOD!" At Bomburs shout we both jumped up and raced to grab a bowl and sit around the fire.

Bilbo it seemed was ready. "So…" He said and everyone looked up at him sceptically. "I thought we could get to know each other, so hi, I'm Bilbo."

_How awkward. I feel like I'm at an AA meeting. _

"Hi Bilbo." I chirped.

"And I really like reading, gardening and parties."

Everyone gave him the blankest stares I have ever seen. It looked like he was just about to give up when I took pity on him.

"Hi I'm Zalia."

Bilbo grinned at me. "Hi Zalia."

"And apart from feeling like I'm at some weird AA meeting right now…"

"What's an AA meeting?" Kili asked.

"Alcoholics Anonymous. It's where drunks go to talk to other drunks for support so they can stop drinking, anyway Kili I'm getting off topic. APART from that, I like… well doing a lot of things you guys wouldn't understand, like watching football? No… okay… well hmmm driving a car you wouldn't know about."

_Man this is harder than it looks. Okay think….AHA! _"Going to the pub which I think you call a tavern?" I looked over at Fili and he smirked nodding. "Reading and music."

I looked around and then realised no one was going to join in so I elbowed Fili in the chest, he struggled not to spit out his soup as he glared at me. I just gave him the sweetest smile I could manage.

"Hi, I'm Fili."

"Hi Fili." Bilbo and I chorused.

"I like going to the tavern, weapons practice and spending time with my kin."

There was silence. Fili elbowed Kili who glared. "Hi I'm Kili."

"Hi Kili."

"And I like, eating, hunting and spending time with my kin."

Bombur bless his heart suddenly decided this was a great idea.

"Hi I'm Bombur."

"Hi Bombur."

"And I like eating, drinking and cooking."

Ori laughed at this, "Hi I'm Ori."

"Hi Ori"

"And I like drawing, writing and riding ponies."

"Hi I'm Bofur"

"Hi Bofur"

"And I like playing music, making toys and telling stories."

"Hi I'm Dori"

"Hi Dori"

"And I like making tea, eating and studying."

Thorin was next in the circle and I fixed him with the iciest glare I could manage. _He better not fuck this up._

"Hello I am Thorin."

"Hi Thorin."

"I like fighting, forging and spending time with my kin." He muttered all-be-it in the foulest voice possible. I beamed at him.

"You owe me!" He mouthed and I nodded happily.

"Hi I'm Gloin"

"Hi Gloin"

"And I like spending time with my son, fighting and eating."

"Hi I'm Balin"

"Hi Balin"

"And I like studying, spending time with my kin and eating."

"Hi I'm Dwalin"

"Hi Dwalin"

"And I like fighting, spending time with my kin and playing music."

"Hi I'm Oin"

"Hi Oin"

"And I like fighting, healing and spending time with my kin."

"Hi I'm Nori"

"Hi Nori"

"And I like eating, drinking and spending time with my kin."

"Bifur"

"Hi Bifur"

It was at this point of course that Bilbo and I got confused. I looked around at the others who were all chuckling. "What did he say?"

"He said he likes Bilbo, he likes you and he would like to eat now please." Said Bofur laughing.

"Well that's cool." I said nodding. "What?!" I asked irritated.

"What does that mean?" Bilbo spoke for everyone.

"It means, that's good or that's okay in this context and trust me, just leave it at that."

They all nodded.

"So who likes the classics?" Bilbo asked looking at the dwarves who said they liked reading. "Not you!" He admonished me.

"What it's not _my _fault my classics are things like; Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty…" Everyone had gone oddly silent. "What?"

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?" Asked Fili raising his eyebrows. "Kept that quiet."

"Oh well, it's just a silly children's story really." I muttered "Nothing worth hearing."

"I think it would be very worth it." Kili piped up.

"I don't even remember it properly really it's just a stupid story…"

"Go on lass!" Dwalin loudly suggested. "We all want to hear it."

"Fine, but when you don't like it don't say I didn't warn you!"

* * *

><p>Now if you know the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves you can imagine how well the telling of that fairy story went down.<p>

"WHAT?!" Shouted everyone as soon as I'd told them the dwarfs' names.

"Do you want to hear it or not?!" I demanded.

"Yes we want to hear it!"

"Then sit down and shut up."

It's really no surprise it was raining the next morning, it mirrored everyone's mood at the story completely.

* * *

><p><strong>So next we'll be getting back on track but I think since it would have taken a while to get to the next major part in the journey a bonding chapter was nice, otherwise it makes it quite hard to set up any sort of relationship. <strong>

**Now I know it's not nice to call alcoholics drunks but I merely wrote it in a way I think Zaila would think the dwarves would understand. **

**Hope you liked it! **

**Rue**


	7. Tall Tales

Actually to say it was raining was an understatement. It was as if the heavens had opened above us and The Lord had decided this was the best place to tip out buckets of freezing cold water. All the excess water in heaven I decided, after we'd got an hour into our journey.

"I can't believe that story!" Kili exclaimed, the weather taking a toll on his mood, it came out a lot grumpier than I thought it would have, had it been a nice sunny day.

_I could also have underestimated how much it offended them._

Fili grumbled along with his brother, "How could you have even found it slightly amusing? How did you ever think it was a nice story?"

I sighed from my seat in front of him. "Look guys, it's not as if I was from a world where it was offensive to anyone. There were only humans there! So like, we thought dwarves were just these made up things…"

_I think I might be digging a hole. _I came to this conclusion when the only replies I got, were dissatisfied grunts.

* * *

><p>Two hours later and the rain still hadn't let up at all. I shivered completely sure my lips would be practically blue; I could no longer feel my fingertips and I was soaked through. I wanted so much to lean back into Fili who, I was sure, would be a bit warmer than I was but he hadn't spoken since the story comments earlier in the day, so I didn't risk it.<p>

An hour later still and I could no longer feel my face or legs, absent-mindedly I wondered if that should worry me. I wasn't sure if I'd ever been this cold before, if I had I didn't remember, and so I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or not. It seemed however, Fili was concerned.

"You're freezing Mimur." His tone was full of concern as he pulled me back into him and opened his coat and cloak to wrap around my small frame.

"S'not too bad." I muttered, fumbling the sounds on my tongue and lips, teeth chattering.

"Yes." He argued, in a stern tone I'd never have associated with him before, "It is." as he drew me closer still.

* * *

><p>Another twenty minutes found us all riding in one straight line, one pony after another. Kili had looked at me with the most concerned face I was sure he could pull, eyebrows dragged down and a worried glint in his eye as he'd past us to ride ahead.<p>

"'Ear Mr Gandalf! Can't you do something about this deluge?!" Dori yelled in a polite, questioning tone, inclining his head to indicate the rain.

Gandalfs' reply came in his powerful, booming voice, "It is raining Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done!"

_Sounding grumpy and irritated there Gandie! _

"If you wish to change the weather of the world you should find yourself another wizard."

"Are there any?" Bilbo questioned in reply to the last statement.

_Good question._ I perked up slightly.

"What?" Asked Gandalf.

"Other wizards." Clarified Bilbo.

"There are five of us; the greatest of our order is Saruman, The White. Then there are the two blue wizards…" Air gusted into his mouth with his intake of breath as he pondered. "Do you know I've quite forgotten their names?"

_Showing your age a bit aren't we. _I thought cheekily.

"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo had to prompt Gandalf who was probably still puzzling over the names of the blue wizards.

"Well that would be Radagast, The Brown."

"And is he a great wizard or is he… more like you?"

I snorted. _Oh Bilbo you really aren't very complimentary! _

"I think he's a very great wizard…" Gandalf considered this statement for a moment. "In his own way, he's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east and a good thing too! For always evil will look to find a foot-hold in this world."

By this point I was numb all over. Experimentally I tried to wiggle my foot.

_Ah that's good, it works! _

I grinned as I watched my foot wiggle back at me. It couldn't feel it move mind you but the point was it was responding, always good news.

Fili noticed my experiment and observed it with a frown.

"What?" I asked him over the sound of the pouring rain.

"Can you feel it?" He shouted back.

"Can't feel anything!" I replied.

"THORIN!" Fili yelled.

"WHAT?!"

"WE NEED TO FIND A PLACE TO STOP!"

"Hey!" I sounded about as put-out as I felt, "I'm fine!"

"You will get_ ill_!" Fili grumbled. "And _that_ will not help anything!"

Thorin stopped to look back. I must have looked bad because within the next hour we had managed to find a dry spot under some thick trees and settle down for the night.

Kili came over to help me down from the pony.

"I can do it!" I insisted swinging my legs over and slipping down. As soon as my feet touched the floor my legs buckled.

"Or not." I conceded as I fell into him.

"Come on Zai, let's not have me losing my best friend to stupidity and a thick head!" He laughed catching me.

"Oi! I'm your best friend!" Fili argued playfully.

"Other than you!"

"Don't know what you're on about lads. I'm her favourite." Bofur winked as he walked past us. Fili playfully shoved him.

* * *

><p>Thankfully the next day was bright and sunny.<p>

"Thanks Ori." I chirped cheerfully as I handed him back a set of clothes.

I was rewarded with his adorable smile. "Whenever you need it."

By borrowing Ori's spare clothes for the night it had given me and my clothes the chance to dry out and with another hard days ride in front of us I was glad to be in my own, dry, comfy clothes again.

"You know what I miss?" I asked the group.

"What?" Bilbo actually seemed interested in this line of conversation.

"Bananas." My voice was wistful.

"What are they?" Nori asked.

"Man, way to kill the fantasy!" I snapped.

"What? What did I do?!"

"Here's me just hoping they're something that exist here I haven't come across and you come along and stomp all over it Nori!" He looked extremely downcast.

I sat and wrestled with my guilt for a minute. "They're a fruit."

* * *

><p>Stopping earlier than we usually did two days in a row felt like heaven.<p>

"We'll camp here for the night!" Announced Thorin in a thunderous voice. "Fili, Kili look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them. Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."

We had found an old abandoned farm house or, at least the remains of the shell. It was mostly just some of the bricks standing but it did have the remains of barns for the ponies to shelter in and there was some really comfy grass surrounding the farm house for once.

_It might actually make for a comfortable night's sleep! _

That was the entirely wrong idea I had there but I'm getting ahead of myself. So, we had not long arrived at the farmhouse where we decided to camp when Gandalf came storming past. It was that soon in fact I had just dismounted the pony.

"Everything alright?... Gandalf where are you going?!" Bilbo asked sounding panicked as he stood stroking some of the ponies with Balin.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who has any sense."

Cue Bilbo's confused tone. "Who's that?"

"MYSELF MR BAGGINS! I've had enough of dwarves for one day!"

I reared back as he stomped by. "HEY! I RESENT THAT!"

When there was no reply I looked at Fili and Kili and pulled a 'I don't know face' as I shrugged.

"Come on lassie, practice time!" Dwalin called just as Thorin shouted "Come on Bombur we're hungry!" In his angry voice.

I smiled broadly as Fili handed me my practice blade… "See you guys later?"

They nodded grinning back at me. "Go have fun Mimur."

* * *

><p>When I returned with Dwalin after practice dinner wasn't quite ready yet.<p>

"What'cha doin?" Irritating Bofur had become one of my favourite pastimes. Mostly because he was impossible to irritate, he just put up with everything!

"Whittling a toy."

"Huh?" Puzzled, extremely so, I craned over to see what he meant.

He shook his head at me grinning and flicked the piece of wood into his hand. "See?"

"Oh Bofur, wow!" The little toy was a tiny woman with fairy wings, sitting curled up. It wasn't quite finished, you could see he was still adding details but it was really, really good. "I wish I could make those… I'd create myself a collection!"

"You like it that much?"

I nodded at him as enthusiastically as I could.

_Man I bet I look like an idiot. _

"When it's finished, it's yours!"

I threw my arms round him and hugged him tight before pulling back and replying in a breathy voice "Thank you!"

He grinned in a rather self-satisfied way, "Come on lassie. Food's ready."

* * *

><p>"He's been a long time." Bilbo, bless him, was bordering on distraught.<p>

"Who?" Bofur asked as he ladled the soup into bowls.

"Gandalf." Replied Bilbo.

"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses, here, do us a favour? Take this to the lads." He said handing Bilbo two bowls.

"I'll come." I said jumping up, abandoning my empty soup bowl and taking one from Bilbo. Just as Bofur said "Stop it," Lightly hitting Bombur with the spoon, "You've had enough!"

Bilbo nodded at me gratefully and we made our way towards Fili, Kili and the ponies. When we arrived however it was immediately clear something was very wrong. How do you know this? I hear you ask. Well, when they paid no attention to their food; it was a dead give-away. In fact they were standing stock still staring out at, apparently, nothing. They didn't even flinch when we arrived.

"What's the matter?" Bilbo and I asked simultaneously.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili answered still staring straight ahead. It was becoming quite unnerving.

"Only we've encountered a slight problem." Fili continued acknowledging Bilbo and I by turning to glance at us both before staring straight ahead again.

"We had sixteen." Kili informed us.

_Oh no. I can see this being something bad…_

"Now there's fourteen." Fili dead-panned.

"Ah…. Well which ones are gone?" I asked nervously, at which point we all began making the rounds to find out. Mind you, I couldn't really tell them apart, so I probably was just aimlessly following more than 'making the rounds'.

Kili was the first to come up with an answer. "Daisy and Bungo are missing!"

"Well…well that's… not good." Bilbo said.

"Not good at all." I agreed from my spot standing by a tree which looked as if it had been ripped from the ground by something, very, very large.

"No not good at all! Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Asked Bilbo.

"Er… nooo, best no' worry 'im." Fili replied looking rather concerned at the idea of telling Thorin anything. "As our official burglar we thought… you might like to look into it." His tone was very suggestive as he eyed Bilbo.

_Oh Fili that's not fair._

"Well uh…" Bilbo grasped in thin air for answers, now holding both bowls of soup, having picked up the one I put down when we decided to find out which ponies were missing. "It… it looks as if something big uprooted these trees." He suggested indicating the uprooted tree by jabbing a bowl of soup in its direction.

"That was our thinking." Kili confirmed their agreement.

"Something very big and… possssss-ibly quite dangerous." Bilbo continued drawing out the middle of the sentence then ending it quickly as if saying it out-loud would confirm this.

"Probably." I stated.

"Hmm?" Fili glanced at me, taking my hand. "What's that Mimur?"

"Probably quite dangerous. No possibly about it." He frowned.

"Perhaps you should go back to camp."

I raised my eyebrows at him, "Perhaps you should tell Thorin you lost two ponies."

His lips pursed in a thin line but he didn't argue with me.

* * *

><p>"Hey, there's a light! Over here!" Fili beckoned Kili and tucked me securely under his arm.<p>

_Phew. This is not the time to be thinking about how ripped Fili is Zalia. _I scolded myself.

We all rushed closer ducking behind a log. "Stay down." Kili whispered.

Bilbo, still holding the soup, rested his hands on top of the log.

There was a loud coughing and some, what I like to classify as 'dirty old man' laughter from the direction of the light.

"What is it?" Bilbo whispered looking to Kili.

Kilis' mouth set in a grim line and his voice took on a hard tone. "Trolls."

Kili and Fili jumped over the log and began running, all-be-it quietly, closer to the light. Before he hopped the log Fili looked at me. "Go back to camp Mimur."

"Yeah," I muttered to myself. "Not fuckin' likely." I mirrored the brothers hopping the log with Bilbo; who had put down the soup.

As we began getting closer Bilbo dithered for a second and then turned back to retrieve the soup.

"Bilbo!" I hissed, rolling my eyes. "Will you forget about the damn soup?"

The answer was obviously a no as he brought it right up to Kili and Fili who were hiding behind a tree, right on the border of the troll camp. Just as Bilbo and I arrived there came a loud crashing sound and we dived quickly behind another tree. A troll was carrying two more ponies, one under each arm, back into their camp.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty!" Bilbo exclaimed in a whisper.

"Really? You're worrying about their names now?" I hissed back as the ponies were deposited in the pen the trolls had put together.

"Do you listen to a word I say?" Filis' voice, would have sounded a lot more of a threatening pissed off tone if he could have spoken properly instead of in a hush.

"Not really." I shot back meanly, while I busied myself watching the trolls.

"I think they're gonna eat them! We have to do something!" Bilbo was the only one, it seemed, staying focused here.

Kili and Fili looked over to him nodding their heads. _Oh no, no, no. Bilbo is not doing this._

"Yes! You should!" Kili readily agreed pushing me over to Fili and relieving Bilbo of the soup bowls. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid and you're so small…"

"Me, no, no, no." Bilbo tried to cut in having the same thoughts as me apparently.

"They'll never see you it's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you!" Kili carried on ignoring him completely.

"If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl!" Fili finished as Kili pushed Bilbo out between the two trees.

"What kind of advice is that?!" It seemed I was doing a lot of hissing lately.

Fili tried to pull me back with them in the direction of the camp.

"No, no way. He is not staying here alone!" I yelled in hushed tones. "Let go of me."

Fixing me with an intimidating look Fili tried to yank me again.

"If you try that once more I will never EVER come anywhere near either of you again!" I threatened.

They narrowed their eyes at me. "Fine but stay exactly in this spot. We'll be right back!" Kili replied. Now it was Kili trying to pull Fili away.

"Yes, yes I promise."

"Once like a barn owl…once like a brown…brown owl…" Bilbo was muttering to himself, "like a barn…are you sure this is a good idea?" He looked back to see Fili and Kili but found just me.

I shrugged and gave him a thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

* * *

><p><em>God those things are huge! And they smell and look awful! <em>I thought as Bilbo began creeping over to the ponies.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today and blimey if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." One troll moaned as Bilbo steeled himself to go ahead.

_Be brave mate. May the force be with you._

"Quit your whining, these aint sheep these is West Nads." Answered the troll carrying Myrtle and Minty as he deposited them in the pen.

"Oh, I don't like 'orse never 'ave, not enough fat on them." Complained another troll sat around their cooking pot.

_It's like the wicked witches cauldron. _

Bilbo was gradually creeping closer. "Well it's better than leathery old farmer, all skin and bone 'e was." Stated another troll, this one seemingly the cook, having a large apron and the spoon in hand. "I'm still picking bits of him outta me teeth."

"Ah! Ah! AHCHOO!" One of the trolls, it seemed, had a cold and a ridiculously high voice. I giggled quietly to myself, not only was it ridiculous but his snot landed in their soup!

"Well that's lovely that is. A floater." Said the cook troll.

"Oooh. Might improve the flavour." Replied the one who had been carrying the ponies.

"There's more where that came from!" The high-pitched troll said happily sniffing up as much snot as he could.

The cook troll grabbed his nose. "Oh no you don't!" The high-pitched troll let out a lot of 'owws' while the cook-troll held his nose. "Si'down!" Cook troll said pushing the other into his seat by his nose. Bilbo was now at the side of the pony pen behind them.

"Come on Bilbo!" I whispered watching avidly as the high-pitched troll sneezed into a _huge_ hankie while Bilbo tugged at the rope tying the pen closed.

I thought my heart was going to stop as Bilbo quickly swung to the side of the pen. The high-pitched troll had got up and was looking over the ponies.

"I 'ope you're gonna gut these Nads, I don't like the sticky parts." He complained.

"I said sit down!" Admonished the cook-troll, hitting the high-pitched one with a spoon, the high-pitched one moaned but did as he was told as the horse-carrier troll cut in….

"I'm starvin' are we 'aving 'orse tonight or what?!"

Bilbo was back tugging at the rope again.

"Shut your cake 'ole. You'll eat what I give ya!" Cook-troll replied.

"'Ow come 'e's the cook, everythin' tastes the same..." Horse-carrying troll moaned as Bilbo began to sneak towards them.

"What's he doing?" I muttered to myself looking around. There was no sign of any of the dwarves so I crept closer, _someone_ had to know where he was and look out for him. "Oh Bilbo." I moaned quietly. He was slowly inching towards high-pitched trolls back. I assumed to steal his knife.

"Everythin' tastes like chicken." Horse-carry troll continued.

"Except the chicken." Put in the high-pitched troll as Bilbo approached him.

"What tastes like fish!" Finished the horse-carry troll.

Bilbo turned sneaking back the other way, then turned and continued to sneak towards them again.

"I'm just sayin' a lil' appreciation would be nice." He stopped, Bilbo was crawling next to the ponies trying to shush them. I held my breath until the troll continued. "Thanks Burt, lovely stew Burt. How 'ard is that?"

_Turns out cook-troll's called Burt then._

The high-pitched troll nearly grabbed Bilbo as he felt around for his drink, once again I felt the breath woosh out of me as he grabbed the drink and not the hobbit.

"'ERE that's _my _grog!" Burt's tone was threatening and the high-pitched troll whimpered.

"Sorry." Burt whacked him with the spoon knocking him backwards.

As he sat up Burt tasted the stew. "Ooh, that is beautifully balanced that is!" He said holding out the spoon for high-pitched troll to try some, which he did.

Bilbo was now behind him, I assumed, trying to remove the blade, I couldn't see him any more so I just had to hope he'd be alright. High-pitched troll stood up and scratched his bum. He sat down again without issue…

_Come on Bilbo!_

"My guts are grumbling, I've got to snuffle somethin' flesh, I need flesh!" The horse-carrying troll announced as the high-pitched one began to sneeze and reached for his hankie.

"Oh, no!" I groaned under my breath as I saw Bilbo's purple coat in the hankie.

"I thought I told you to stay exactly where you were!" Fili, sounded very pissed off.

I jumped slightly as I looked around, all the dwarves were giving me hard looks, I had a feeling they didn't appreciate my being so close to trolls.

"They've got Bilbo!" I whispered wide-eyed.

Thorin quickly crouched next to me and peered up. "Urgh!" He moaned frustrated. "You stay right here!"

"But…" I was silenced with a quick glare as we all looked on to see what would happen next.

The high-pitched troll sneezed into his hankie and, as a consequence, all over Bilbo.

"Oh, eww." I whispered feeling my face pull into a disgusted expression. "Poor Bilbo."

"AHH!" The high-pitched troll screamed looking into his hankie. "Look, look! Look what's come out of me 'ooter! It's got arms and legs and everythin'…"

"What is it?" Muttered the horse-carrying troll.

"I don't know." Replied the high-pitched troll, "But I don't like the way it wriggles around." And he threw Bilbo to the floor.

Bilbo quickly scrambled up and faced the trolls.

"What are you then? An oversized squirrel?" Asked the horse-carrying troll, holding a knife out in front of him and brandishing it at Bilbo.

"I'm a burglar." My head fell into my hands in disbelief. _BILBO! _"Err…hobbit!" He corrected quickly. _Well I can't blame him for panicking._

"A burglarobbit?" Repeated the high-pitched troll.

"Can we cook 'im?" Asked the other.

"We can try!" The high-pitched troll ran for Bilbo who dodged out of the way.

"'E wouldn't make more than a mouthful…" Stated Burt, "Not once e's' skinned and boned!" advancing towards Bilbo and hitting him with the spoon. Bilbo turned round to be faced with the knife-wielding horse-carrying troll and ducked out of the way again.

"Perhaps there's more burglarobbits round these parts? There might be enough for a pie!" He knocked Bilbo towards the high-pitched troll.

"Grab him!"

"He's too quick!" Bilbo ran between the high-pitched trolls legs.

"Gotcha!" The horse-carrying troll caught him.

"Thorin you have to do something!" I implored in a whisper as Bilbo was questioned hanging upside down from the horse-carrying trolls hand.

"Are there any more of you lil' fellas hidin' where you shouldn't?" The horse-carrying troll asked pointing the knife at Bilbo.

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "Just me."

"He's lying!" Accused the high-pitched troll.

"No I'm not!" Bilbo yelled desperately.

"Hold his toes above the fire! Make him squeal!"

At this point Kili jumped out from behind the high-pitched troll and hit him on the leg and foot with his sword, before taking up a position opposite the troll holding Bilbo. "DROP HIM!"

"YOU WHAT?"

"I said…drop him!" Kili replied confidently.

* * *

><p>The troll threw Bilbo towards Kili and Kili caught him.<p>

It must have been some sort of signal because at this point all the dwarves jumped out and began fighting the trolls, they were doing really well too, from what I could see. The trolls let out tremendous roars when they got hurt, except the high-pitched one who kind of squealed. I was keeping my eyes trained desperately on Fili. I didn't want the last thing I'd said to him to be a promise I'd since broken.

_Wow I'm pretty sure someone just hit a troll straight in the gonads! That's my boys!_

When Bilbo released the horses however, managing to use the trolls' blade to cut the rope, the horse-carrying troll caught him again. Two of the trolls grasped an arm and a leg each, Bilbo was held up between them.

"BILBO!" Kili yelled attempting to dart forwards but Thorin stopped him.

"No!" He threw his arm in front of Kili and held him back.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll wip 'is off!" Threatened the horse-carrying troll.

There was a tense couple of seconds before Thorin stuck his sword in the floor. Angrily the dwarves all threw their weapons down. Even Ori with his slingshot!

Within seconds half the dwarves were in sacks and the others were wrapped around a roasting spit being turned over a fire.

"Don't cook 'em, let's just sit on 'em and squash them into jelly!" The high-pitched dwarf suggested.

I looked at all my friends desperately.

_Now am I allowed to do something? Probably not...Oh well... Too bad, I'm gonna. _

I began to sneak around the troll camp; the dwarves I knew were flicking their eyes towards my hiding place and saw me begin to move. They looked like they were finding it really hard to grit their teeth and not yell at me.

"They should be sautéed and grilled, with a sprinkle of sage." Corrected Burt as he turned the spit, miming sprinkling the sage.

_If I can just get to a weapon maybe I can cut them out of the sacks…_

"That does sound quite nice." The high-pitched troll relented.

I froze; he stood blocking me from view of the other trolls. Gently and quietly as I could I began to sneak around the back of his legs and make it to hiding behind the next tree.

"Never mind the seasonin' we aint got all night, dawn aint far away, let's get a move on! I don't fancy bein' turned to stone." Argued the horse-carrying troll as he turned the spit.

"WAIT!" Shouted Bilbo. "You are making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with 'em their half-wits!" Shouted Dori whilst being turned on the spit.

"Half-wits?! What does that make us?!" Bofur, was also being turned on the spit.

"I meant with the uh… with the uh… seasoning." Bilbo had managed to get himself onto his feet and hop forwards in his sack.

"What about the seasoning?" Asked Burt darkly putting his hands on his knees.

"Well have you smelt them?" Bilbo replied. "You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up!" He sounded as if he was criticizing their cooking.

_PLAYING FOR TIME! WELL DONE BILBO! _I rejoiced in my head.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Snapped horse-carrying troll.

"Shut up!" Burt snapped back. "Let the er… flurggburrblerhobbit talk!" He leaned down closer towards Bilbo.

"The er… the secret to cooking dwarf is ummm… is ummm…."

"Yes?" Burt sounded excited. "Come on, tell us the secret!"

"Yes I'm telling you the secret…" Bilbo was looking around desperately. "The secret is….tooooo….SKIN them first."

I threw myself out from behind the tree and it took all of my self-control not to run and tackle Bilbo but to slowly inch toward the next tree instead.

_YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SAY SOMETHING NOT LIFE-THREATENING! _

The dwarves let out as much uproar as I wanted to. They began wriggling around in their sacks and shouting profanities at Bilbo.

"Traitor" They shouted.

"Tom," Burt said to the high-pitched one, "Get me filletin' knife."

_What strange names for trolls… ZAI! Not the time! _

I inched towards the next tree, and sighed when I got behind it. _Almost there,_ I thought, _almost to the weapons._

"What a woad of wubbish!" Said the horse-carrying troll. "I've eaten plenty wiv their skins on. Scoff 'em I say boots an' all."

"He's right!" Tom proclaimed, "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!"

I swear my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when his hand came down over Fili. When he lifted up the sack he had though, it was Bombur. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want anything bad to happen to Bombur either, but still, I could concentrate better, and at the rate Bilbo was going. I needed too. Dawn might be approaching but it was a way off yet.

"Nice and crunchy!" Tom opened his mouth, dangling Bombur over it, Bombur wiggled around all he could.

"N…N….NOT THAT ONE! HE'S INFECTED!" Bilbo yelled desperately.

_Yes Bilbo, good man. _

"You what?" Said the horse-carrying one as Tom turned to look at Bilbo.

"He's got…worms…in his….tubes." It was obvious Bilbo was pulling this shit out of thin air but the trolls, lucky enough, didn't know that.

Tom threw Bombur back down onto the others in the sacks. I winced, _I feel sorry for whoever he landed on. _

"In…In fact they all have," Bilbo continued, "They're infested with parasites it's a terrible business! I wouldn't risk it." He said shaking his head. "I really wouldn't."

"Parasites, did he say parasites?" Asked Oin.

"We don't have parasites, you have parasites!" Kili yelled as Bilbo sighed and rolled his eyes in frustration.

As the dwarves continued to shout I risked jumping out from behind the tree and hiding behind a bush much closer. I jumped up so that I was clearly in Thorins view and made cutting motions across my throat. Getting the message he kicked the dwarves in the sacks, who, soon changed their tune. The others caught on quickly.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm…" Oin said unconvincingly.

"Mine are the biggest parasites I've got huge parasites!" Yelled Kili sounding desperate, afraid.

"We're riddled."

"Yes I'm riddled."

"Yes we are, badly."

"What would you have us do?" Asked the horse-carrying troll. "Let 'em all go?"

"Well…." Said Bilbo drawing out the word in a suggestive manner.

"You think I don't know what you're up to! This little ferret is takin' us for fools!"

"Ferret!" Bilbo sounded quite offended.

"Fools?" Asked Burt.

The dawn was still too far away and the trolls would have seriously hurt the dwarves soon or eaten some raw. I was now, thanks to their reactions, not where I needed to be at all. Everything had gone quiet, very suddenly.

* * *

><p>"I smell woman flesh!" Shouted the horse-carrying dwarf.<p>

_Woman flesh… woman flesh… woman flesh… what the hell is woman flesh? Wait a second… I'M WOMAN FLESH!_

A large hand reached into the bush so I did the first thing I thought of as it brushed me… I bit it.

"OOOOOWWWWW!" Shouted Tom. "IT BIT ME!"

"YEAH AND YOU TASTED DISGUSTING!" I yelled back darting from the bush.

"CATCH HER!" Burt it seemed was particularly salivating when looking at me. "THE WOMAN BITS ARE SO TASTY AND SOFT!"

"YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF THEM!" I thundered diving in and out of all the trolls' legs. "Shit!"

I felt a troll lift me up by my hair. "OWWW!" I yelled as he threw me up and caught me in his hand.

"Not much of her." Tom muttered.

"There's enough!" Burt it appeared was the one cradling me. "Woman flesh is a delicacy."

"YES! I mean er… yes. You are quite right!" Bilbo seemed to catch on but the dwarves looked at me with confusion. "You should only have it with… very special seasoning."

"We'll eat the dwarves then!" Horse-carrying troll boomed.

"NO!" Burt snapped back. "What seasoning?"

"Well erm…" I looked around for any sort of inspiration and saw Fili in his bag. _Fil, Fli, Fi… _"It is very rare…"

"Yes?" Burt pushed.

_Anything, say anything Zalia! _

"Fluxweed." The word dropped out of my mouth and it took me a few seconds to work out it was something in Harry Potter.

_Well at least that doesn't exist here. It's from Harry Potter and Harry Potter's only a story in my world. _

"Oooh. Tom look in my seasoning sack. The yellow one! There's only one sprig left!" Burt announced.

I looked at Bilbo with genuine alarm. _Oh god it's real. _He nodded to the sky behind me. 'Do something!' He mimed.

"AND…."

"And?" Asked Burt…

"And…" I swept my eyes around the clearing again. Kili was looking up at me in absolute distress. "And…another really rare herb…"

Burt nodded at me wide-eyed.

_Kil..Ki…Ku… Kili and Nori…Knnnno…_

"Knotgrass!" The look on Bilbos' face told me this was real here too, so did the look on Burts'. I made a face at Bilbo wide-eyed throwing my arms up in a 'what?! I didn't know!' sort of motion. He nodded to the sky once more and this time I saw Gandalf leaping up a rock.

"WAIT!"

"WHAT NOW!" Yelled horse-carrying troll.

"Well you have to… have to…" I looked over at Bilbo for help. "Rub it into my skin…" _Why did I say that? Why did I say that?! _I asked myself hitting my palm to my forehead repeatedly.

"How?" Asked Tom. _Oh my days it actually confused them! _

"HOW BURGLAROBBIT?!" Horse-carrying troll yelled at Bilbo.

Unfortunately he was actually startled into answering. "Rip her clothes off!" He squeaked.

As they reached for my clothing Gandalf suddenly appeared on top of a large rock.

"THE DAWN WILL TAKE YOU ALL!"

"Who's that?"

"No idea."

"Can we eat 'im too?"

Gandalf banged his staff down on the rock and it split in half, the sunlight streamed through and I barely managed to hang on as Burt lifted his hands to protect himself from the sun, (although it didn't work) and tipped me out of them. Everyone cheered and Gandalf helped everyone down from the spit and out of the sacks.

"There must be a cave nearby!" Thorin exclaimed.

"GUYS!" I shouted.

"ZAI!"

"MIMUR!"

Kili and Fili ran over and stood underneath me.

"Let go, we'll catch you I promise!" Fili bellowed.

_Okay Zai, deep breath, one, two, three._

I let go, it felt like I was letting myself fall to my death but before I knew it I was encased in strong, warm arms.

"Told you I promised." Fili winked at me and I blushed, he was holding me bridal style.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay where I promised." I threw my arms around his neck and all but strangled him with a hug.

"I understand why you didn't." He murmured into my hair. "And hey, you and Bilbo might have just saved us all!"

"Maybe," He put me down and I turned to Kili. "I have the biggest parasites!" I mocked in a really bad imitation deep voice. "Mine are huge parasites!"

Kili glared at me, "I was in fear of my life." He replied in a cool tone.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, weirdo! _Which_ before you ask means whatever makes you feel better, and weird means odd so a weirdo is a very odd person" I beamed at him and gave him a hug. "I'm glad you're alright."

He hugged me back speaking into my hair, "I'm glad you are too, you and all your confusing, peculiar terms."

"Not that I don't love you all of course!" I announced as I pulled away from the brothers.

Everyone smirked at me and rolled their eyes.

"I think everyone is glad that everyone else is safe." Thorin stated.

"Yes. Except you Bilbo Baggins!" I said my tone sharpening, my words becoming like icicles.

His eyes widened as he stared at me, "What?!"

"Rip her clothes off?! That's the best you could come up with?!"

"Rub it into my skin," He countered. "Knotgrass and fluxweed. Which are rare because they grow where trolls live!"

"Hey in my defence they don't exist in my world! I was making those up, borrowed them from the Harry Potter books!"

He shook his head at me and came forward for a hug. I put my hands out in front of me. "Dude, you're my friend and everything, glad you're alive really, _but _until that troll snots gone, stay the hell away from me!"

Bilbo, being Bilbo accepted this whereas I'm quite sure Fili and Kili would have chased me trying to hug me. How do I know that? Because they told me so.

"Enough! Everyone recover your weapons, we return, pack up and move out, I want to find that troll cave!"

"Oh Thorin, want, want, want. Bossy, bossy, bossy!" He raised his eyebrows at me. "I'm glad you're okay too!" He stepped towards us once the others were out of sight on their way to pack up and pulled Fili, Kili and I into an embrace.

"GROUP HUG!"

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, <strong>

**Hope you liked it. It's 4.41 now so best go to bed! Been getting it just right. Next chapter hopefully tomorrow!**

**Let me know what you think and thanks for all the awesome reviews follows and favs!**

**Rue**


	8. Caves and Pathways

"So much for a good night's sleep." I grumbled as Kili lifted me back up onto the pony in front of Fili.

Kili grinned at me, a look past between the two brothers at my complaining.

I narrowed my eyes at them, "Whatever you're planning you can just stop it."

"We're not planning anything." Kili replied his face the picture of innocence.

"Nothing at all Mimur." Fili concurred.

I twisted in my seat to look up at him and his face remained suspiciously blank. I flicked my eyes between the two again. "Sure, you're not… be warned… I'm watching you." I pointed two of my fingers from my right hand at my eyes then at the brothers. "You won't get away with this scheming."

"Oooh. Scheming, big word… I like it." Kili gave an exaggerated wink at me as he kicked his pony into action.

"Makes us sound positively… evil." Fili slyly grinned. Our own pony moved off in a jerk and I fell back into his chest.

"Oof."

"Careful back there children!" Shouted Nori with a laugh.

_Well Zai, can't be having that! _"That's rich coming from you!" His irritated huff made me quite proud. In fact, I do believe I smiled.

* * *

><p>It took us a while, it was ridiculously well hidden, but we found the cave. And by God I wish we hadn't.<p>

I can still smell it to this day. The smell of a troll hoard is much like that of a landfill site, the difference lies in the contents. A troll hoard smells of death and decay as well, much like years of excrement and rotting fish along with flies and other such sickening smells and bugs one usually finds with a large build-up of every disgusting thing on the face of the earth being shoved into one little plot, very similar to a landfill. However, people dive into troll hoards where they wouldn't dream of it with landfills because troll hoards contain treasure.

I jumped off the pony and felt my mouth drag into a grimace. Flinging my arm in front of my face I coughed, loudly.

"Oh God what is that?!"

Oin and Gloin smiled at my discomfort as they strode past. "That's the troll hoard lassie." They dove inside the cave.

"Ori! Watch the ponies!" Thorin yelled.

Ori nodded, looking rather grateful and lead the ponies off a little way out of the woods and into the wide-open fields, well away from the atrocious smells.

"Coming?" Fili asked, as he and Kili moved towards the piles of stuff outside the cave with the others who didn't want to go in.

"You couldn't pay me to."

They nodded and smirked, "Suit yourself, Mimur." Fili ruffled my hair. "And cheer up."

With that the brothers set upon me, Kili launched himself at me and began to tickle my sides, I let out a loud shriek of laughter as I tried desperately to escape, when this was going on Fili snuck up behind me. Rather suddenly, while I had tears streaking down my face and was gasping for breath Fili seized me, he threw over his shoulder so my head was facing his back and began walking closer to the stench.

"FILI! PUT ME DOWN!" I clutched at his back as the other dwarves outside the cave laughed.

_Oh my god I'm going to suffocate._

The smell got more and more horrendous the closer we got. "Oh God I'm being gassed!" I dramatically wriggled around.

Kili hooted with laughter that seemed to explode out of him. "You….you're face." He was bent over grasping his sides, gasping for air as I glared at him.

"What's being gassed?" Balin questioned.

"It's the most disgusting form of mass genocide that humans ever invented." I answered with a scowl.

Fili seemingly sensing my mood carefully put me back on my feet.

"I was being overly dramatic because the smell is terrible, but it was actually the vilest practice known to man."

The dwarves all seemed to consider me for a second; Thorin came out of the cave yelling behind him for Bofur, Gloin and Nori who were following.

"What's going on?"

"I believe Miss Zalia may have been about to impart within us information about one of the horrors of her world." Balin answered.

Thorin opened his mouth to speak when there came a crash. "Perhaps another time." He told me. "SOMETHING'S COMING!" He bellowed to the others.

* * *

><p>"STAY TOGETHER!" Gandalf yelled. "HURRY NOW!"<p>

I looked desperately as Fili as he pulled out his sword and grabbed my hand, Kili appeared at my other side and we looked towards the spot the sound came from.

"ARM YOURSELVES!" Gandalf barked finishing his set of instructions.

I glanced at Fili who began pulling me with him following the others running towards the sound. "FILI!"

He stopped and seemed to struggle with himself for a few moments before sighing and resigning himself to handing me my practice blade.

"Don't get involved unless you have to Mimur."

I nodded and we took off again, catching up with Kili just as some _enormous_ rabbits came out of the bushes opposite pulling what looked to be a wooden sleigh with a crazy man on board.

"If this is your fucked up version of Santa Claus I am _totally not_ participating." I announced looking; I'm ashamed to say, slightly disdainfully at the man. "Man's a fuckin' nut nut."

The man was wearing scruffy brown clothes which matched his equally wild looking brown hair, he had bird shit (yes you read that right) bird shit down one side of his face which stuck the hair to the skin and a crazy look about him in general. His long beard wiggled from side to side as his head moved when he looked around at us. Fili pulled me back into him slightly, looking bewildered and Kili, looking as revolted as I felt, laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Radagast!" Gandalf announced. "It's Radagast the brown." He put his sword…

_When did Gandalf get a sword?!_

…Away and walked over to greet his friend and fellow wizard.

"Well… that explains a lot." I murmured to absolutely no one in particular.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Gandalf didn't sound as pleased as one would think you would be to greet an old friend, in fact he sounded slightly sceptical of the man's sanity.

"I…" Radagasts' breath was coming out in short pants as he spoke. "I was looking for you Gandalf…."

_Well that's encouraging; the mad man could find us via Gandalf…_

"Something's wrong, something's _terribly wrong._" He stressed.

To my mind, Gandalf did not sound convinced. "Yeeeesss?"

Fili, Kili and I shared a bewildered look.

He went to speak and seemingly forgot what he had been rushing to tell Gandalf, because he stopped, thought and then said…"Just give me a minute…um…"

He was pulling the most excellent facial expressions though. I raised my eyebrows at him and Fili pulled me tighter still, as he surveyed the mad old man.

"_Ohh!_ I had a thought and now I've lost it… it was right there… on the tip of my tongue!" Radagast whined… kind of like a child and I cocked my head frowning as I considered him.

"Oh… it's not a thought at all." He'd started speaking with his tongue half stuck out, curled up and barely moving so his words came out quite garbled and hard to understand. "It's a silly old…." Gandalf reached forwards and pulled a bug from his mouth as I turned my head into Fili's chest and hugged him around the waist. "Stick insect!"

Fili rubbed me on the back and I turned my head so my cheek was pressing against his chest and I could see the two wizards again. Radagast now had the stick insect on his hand.

"I don't even want to _think_ about where else he's got creepy crawlies." I shuddered. "At least the rabbits are cute."

Radagast, to my immediate displeasure snapped his head towards me and bounced up and down gleefully. I looked up at Fili wide-eyed and tightened my grip on his waist.

"Oh I do like her! I do! I do!" The strange wizard exclaimed. "Look after my rabbits won't you dear?" And he spun back to face Gandalf once again the picture of seriousness once more, or at the very least, as serious as he could be before pulling Gandalf a little ways off so we couldn't eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Well don't you just attract all the lookers." Kili teased me as we sat down on the floor waiting for Gandalf to return.

"Shut up." I handed my practice blade back to Fili. "You're just jealous."

Kili looked distraught and revolted at the thought. "Look after his rabbits." He winked at me. "I think he was very excited about liking you."

"Shut up Kili!" I exclaimed.

"Ooh touchy touchy."

"Oh piss off just because nobody likes you!"

Kili to my utmost alarm looked very hurt as he got up and stormed off.

"What did I say?!" I asked Fili.

"I thought you were really good friends with Kili…" He trailed off confused.

"What?! I am!" _Oh no! _"I didn't mean that! It's just something said in my world to show your frustration! Normally the other person just grins!"

A look of comprehension dawned on Filis face as he fiddled with one side of his braided moustache. "Well you better tell him that then, because it is not something said here."

I nodded and quickly stood meaning to run straight over to Kili when there was a horrible growling, trumpeting sound from around us.

"What was that a demented elephant?!" I blurted out just as Bilbo stuttered, "Was that a wolf… are…are there wolves out there?"

Bofur stepped in front of Bilbo and Fili pulled me behind him.

"I don't know what an elephant is… but wolves… no that is not a wolf." Bofur actually sounded terrified, which didn't help me feel good at all.

Suddenly a great, oversized, ugly looking dog-wolf cross-breed _thing_ came down the incline and launched at Dwalin who was right in front of Fili and I. Fili pushed me back against a tree throwing his arms out in front of me as Thorin brought his sword down and killed the thing. Another one was coming down the hill behind Thorin but quick as a flash Kili had his bow out and he shot it down, as it tumbled to the side of Thorin the dwarves set upon it until it was dead. Fili jumped over the fallen thing in front of us and held out his hand for me, I grimaced but grabbed his hand and jumped over too.

"Warg scouts!" Thorin thundered, "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind!"

"Fili!" I moaned desperately holding my hand out for my training blade again, and although it looked like it physically pained him to give me something which meant I could be involved in this fight, he did.

"Orc pack?" Bilbo questioned desperately.

"Bilbo." He looked over at me. "How fast can you run?"

This just seemed to make him more nervous. "Why?"

"Because if it comes to a fight mate, you and I are most likely, _completely_ screwed."

He gulped in response.

"Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" Gandalf asked Thorin in a hurry.

"No one."

"WHO DID YOU TELL?"

"NO ONE I SWEAR." Thorin replied seriously. "What in Durins' name is going on?"

"You are being hunted!" Gandalf informed us.

This time I gulped with Bilbo, gripping Filis' hand fiercely.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin stated in a low voice. _More appropriate tone there. Less likely those things will hear us!_

"We can't! We have no ponies they've bolted!" Ori shouted running down the incline Bifur behind him he indicated to the supplies the ponies had thrown off as they ran; thankfully, there were quite a few.

_It's impressive you can run down there without tripping._

Bilbo and I were getting closer to mental breakdowns the more and more words were spoken it seemed. My body seemed to chatter with nervousness. No that's probably not right, it vibrated with it.

"I'll draw them off!" Announced Radagast.

_I take it all back. I am sorry for every bad thought I ever had about this man. He is going to save our lives._

"These are Gundabad Wargs, they will outrun you!" Gandalf said seemingly finding the idea useless.

"These are Rhosgobel Rabbits!" Radagast snapped back, I looked at him with complete admiration for his bravery or insanity (I never did decide) as his voice took on a challenging, stiff and certain tone. "I'd like to see them try."

"Mate whatever you're on, I want some of it!" I announced as he mounted his sleigh. "You are the definition of awesomeness."

The wizard tipped his hat to me and gave me a wave and then he was off breaking out of the bushes with a loud "COME AND GET ME!"

We ran out of the bushes in the opposite direction, "I hope he survives!" I muttered to Fili and then the adrenaline kicked in.

* * *

><p>Now I personally I hate running, I can only ever keep it up for about a minute and it gives me the most horrendous stitches but when you're running in fear for your life; a stitch seems like a rather moot point.<p>

My training with Dwalin and the others had obviously had some affect, because as we ran I wasn't getting half as tired and worn out as I expected too. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins and I was thrumming with energy. Bilbo however, was not. He was struggling in ways I can't even begin to comprehend. Fili had my hand tightly in his grasp and he wasn't letting go as we ran in about the middle of the pack.

"Come on." Said Gandalf who was leading us from rock to rock, making sure to avoid wherever Radagast was headed.

Every time we were out in the open I felt my panic levels rise, the last thing I wanted was another showdown with an orc. Sure I'd been greatly improving in my fighting skills but there's something completely different about facing a friendly, familiar face and an unfriendly, disfigured one.

_Oh yeah, the chances of survival._

"Fili you have to let go." I muttered as we stopped behind the next rock. "I'll be fine I promise! But you're bigger than me it's throwing my balance off! And you have so much stuff to carry!"

He slowly released his grip on my hand and we began to run again. We were _completely _out in the open when Radgast suddenly came streaking right in front of us on his sleigh being chased by more things than I even thought we had following us!

"Stay together!" Gandalf hissed as he began leading us off in another direction.

I had no idea where any of the others were in the grand scheme of things all I knew was I was running, panting, next to Ori who, liked me, seemed to be extremely fast. That however was all relative; we were smaller and lighter and had nothing to carry except our weapons which were also smaller and lighter.

"ORI NO!" Thorin yelled as Radagast led the Orcs off right in front of us again and Ori ran past the rock everyone was stopping behind for cover.

I sprinted after him, grabbed his hood and yanked him back, seeing that I was the closest, smallest and least likely to be spotted. The look on his face was a kind of petrified thanks I never want to see again and the relief on Thorins' was almost bursting at the seams as we both fell back behind the rock.

"Zalia I…"

"Honestly Ori don't mention it." I replied dragging us both up off the ground. "We're not safe yet."

He nodded at me with a grim determination.

"Come on, come on quick!" Gandalf gestured us out in front of him and we took off running again past him and Thorin.

_Not the time to be arguing! _

As we darted behind the next rock I heard the most terrifying growl…

_Dear Jesus, there's one on the rock above us._

Thorin, looked at Kili and indicated his arrows.

_If Kili dies thinking I didn't like him…_

Dread set into my gut as Kili quickly stepped out and shot the warg. The thing fell down, Orc and all and the dwarves attacked it with a vigour that, up until now, I'd only ever seen them display towards food. Bifur was particularly violent.

Bilbo, however, looked like he was going to faint at the sight of the Orc.

"Oi!" I said to him swiftly. His head snapped to me. "You faint here I'm leaving you behind!"

He set his mouth and jutted out his chin in a brave nod which I returned. There was a sudden on-set of howling and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Oh God, they're coming for us! They heard that thing! They know where we are!" I couldn't have quite imposed the full panic and serious nature of this upon everyone as I spoke and looked at them rather petrified, because they all stopped and listened for a moment.

"Are you all fuckin' mental?" I asked desperately.

Gandalf suddenly heard whatever they were listening for.

"ZALIA IS RIGHT! MOVE RUN!"

I didn't even question the fact that they didn't hear that until it got closer. I just followed Gandalf and ran as fast as I possibly could.

"There they are!" Yelled Gloin pointing them out.

"THIS WAY!" Gandalf shouted, pointing with his staff and taking off. "QUICKLY!"

An Orc astride a warg appeared on the hill above Thorin, Bilbo and I were just behind Kili who had pushed forwards, "THERE'S MORE COMING!" He yelled to Thorin and all the dwarves made a circle.

"WE'RE SURROUNDED!" Fili screeched and I quickly realised he was right.

"Oh my God we're surrounded, RUN! Bilbo RUN! COME ON!" I knew it was becoming a deadly serious important matter that we were close to the others.

Which at that time, we weren't.

"KILI SHOOT THEM!" Yelled Thorin.

"ZALIA…" Bombur shouted pointing behind me. "BILBO!"

The dwarves, who were all spread out in a wide circle facing out in different directions at the orcs and their wargs, snapped their heads in our direction, Bilbo had fallen over about four meters behind me, and only about six meters from the closest advancing warg.

"MIMUR NO!" Fili shouted as Bofur stopped him from running towards me.

I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me towards Bilbo and the orc which was gaining ground. When I reached Bilbo the orc can't have been more than a meter away.

"I've hurt my foot!"

Yanking him up by his coat and dragging him across my back so I was supporting him I yelled, "BILBO BAGGINS IF WE DIE BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL DRAG US BACK AND KILL YOU AGAIN!"

The dwarves were looking more and more terrified by the second which only let me know the warg was fast approaching, letting the adrenaline guide me I pushed on faster still my legs burning with the effort. Eventually, after what seemed like an age but was more than likely actually about a minute, we fell into the wide circle the dwarves had made.

I puffed and wheezed gasping for breath. "You…you…you…" Bilbo stuttered as I sat up. "You saved my life!"

I looked at the orcs surrounding us. "Not for long."

Grabbing his foot I looked at Bilbo, "Seems fine to me."

"I caught it funny, it cramped up!" He said as we rose to our feet and looked around.

"Cramp, I almost died for cramp!"

Guiltily he blinked and I sighed, jogging closer behind Fili who acknowledged me with a fearful glance. Kili was shooting orcs and wargs, left right and centre.

"Where's Gandalf?!" Bofur shouted as he ran towards a rock in the middle of our circle with Bilbo next to him.

"He's abandoned us!" Dwalin snapped back.

"HOLD YOUR GROUND!" Thorin ordered drawing his sword.

My own blade was shaking in my hand but I didn't move an inch, keeping my eye on the closest advancing orc and warg.

"QUICKLY! THIS WAY YOU FOOLS!" Gandalf shouted appearing from behind a rock.

"COME ON MOVE!" Thorin yelled, "QUICKLY ALL OF YOU!"

I turned and began to move and realised Fili wasn't moving. "Fili!"

"Go Mimur I'll be right there!"

His eyes were set on Kili who was still quite a way out shooting orcs.

"I'm not leaving either of you!"

Fili shouted something loudly in dwarf and suddenly Bifur had me in a tight hold pulling me towards the rock.

"LET GO!" I screamed, but Bifur was having none of it. He managed to drag me to the rock. "FILI! KILI!" I yelled at them, but they didn't move.

Bifur threw me down the hole behind the rock as Thorin killed a warg which jumped out behind him.

"GOD DAMN IT!" I slammed my fist into the rock on the inside of the tunnel.

Balin gave me a sympathetic look, "He cares about you lassie, he's just trying to look out for you."

"And what?!" I practically spat (I should have frothed at the mouth in my anger) as I turned, "I don't care for him?!"

"You're a girl though!" Bofur said obviously thinking this would pacify me.

It didn't. _I'm a…I'm a… GIRL?! GIRL?! _I kicked the rock as hard as I could in the middle of my mental breakdown while other dwarfs continued to slide down into the tunnel.

"You've obviously never heard of woman's rights." I hissed. "That is just… urgh, you sexist pigs!" I slammed my fist into the wall again and Gloin rushed forwards to grab my arm.

"That's not going to help anything lassie, perhaps it's a culture difference is all, we'll have to explain later!" This did mollify me some and I stared up at the tunnel becoming more and more panicked when Fili, Kili and Thorin didn't appear.

Gandalf was counting dwarves as they came down.

"KILI RUN!" I heard Thorin boom.

The next moment Fili was sliding down into the tunnel and I grabbed him, hugging him tight. "I thought you were dead!"

He shushed at me and wrapped his arms around me tightly as I pressed myself as close to him as I possibly could before pulling back as Kili came sliding down.

"KILI!" I jumped on him, engulfing him in a hug. "Don't you ever let me say anything like that to you again! I didn't mean it! I was just showing my frustration. You're my best friend I don't know what I'd do without you!" My breath gusted out in a huff.

Kili hugged me back tightly. "I forgave you the second I saw you run out and grab Ori."

I smiled at him as he let me go and Thorin slid down. A horn sounded from above and there were sounds of battle but I had more pressing matters on my mind.

"AS FOR ALL OF YOU!" My tone was very hard. "We're going to have a serious conversation about sexism later! I can't believe you would just…" My hands were on my hips and I must say all the men were looking equally worried about facing my womanly wrath, even considering how small I am, when quite suddenly they all looked even more alarmed and I didn't.

All I did was frown, and I was rewarded when something rather large and heavy knocked me straight over. I managed to stop my face planting into the floor but from the disgusted looks of the others and the feel of Gandalf poking whatever it was on top of me I scowled.

"Please don't tell me there's a dead orc on top of me."

"Okay." Kili agreed looking highly amused.

"We won't tell you." Fili finished looking just as amused as Thorin pulled an arrow from the body and muttered in the most disdainful voice, "Elves."

* * *

><p>The brothers took pity on me and pulled me up just as Dwalin announced, "I can't see where the pathway leads, do we follow it or no?"<p>

Bofur, sounding very concerned replied, "Follow it of course!"

"I think that would be wise." Gandalf murmured. _Why do I get the feeling he knows where this goes? Pathways and caves all in one day, aren't we lucky? _Rolling my eyes I started walking.

The path was very long, very jagged and zig-zaggy and also very narrow.

_How the hell is Bombur fitting through some of these gaps?_ I thought as I struggled rounded another bend sideways.

I decided to voice this thought to Kili and Fili. Kili was in front of me and Fili was behind, grasping my hand tightly having now taken back my practice blade.

"How is Bombur fitting through some of these gaps?"

They both looked down at me and grinned. "Magic, probably." Kili chuckled as we continued on. Fili just squeezed my hand.

We came out on top of a small waterfall looking out over one of the most beautiful sights I think I have ever seen.

"Wow. That's _spectacular!_" I felt completely and utterly awed. "Just _gorgeous_." I sighed. "I feel like angels should be singing or something… it's like a little piece of heaven on earth…" I thought about that for a few seconds, "Or well… Middle Earth." I corrected.

"The Valley Of Imladris," Gandalf announced patting my shoulder. "In the common tongue it's known by another name."

"Rivendell…" Bilbo muttered sounding as awed as I felt. Which, I learned quickly was a good deal more than the dwarves, quite a significant deal more.

* * *

><p><strong>So they've reached Rivendell. <strong>

**I hope you liked this chapter. **

**I can't wait to write more as soon as I get the chance! Thank you for all the reviews and favs and follows!**

**Rue**


	9. Dancing Dwarves

"This was your plan all along!" Thorin was fast to accuse Gandalf, but I couldn't blame the man, considering how they'd been caught arguing many a time by the different dwarves about going to the elves for help, (something Thorin was vehemently against and Gandalf was dead-set on), it did seem that way. "To seek refuge with our enemy!"

"You have no enemies here Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." Gandalf was quick to set Thorin straight.

"You think the elves would give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us." Confusingly, Thorin seemed to be civilly asking Gandalf to see reason before shouting for once.

"Of course they will, but we have questions that need to be answered!" Thorin wanted to argue but it was a hard statement to disagree with so he just didn't say anything. "If we are to be successful," Gandalf continued. "This will need to be handled with tact, and respect… and no small degree of charm. Which is why you will leave the talking to me."

_Duuuudee…Thorin got told._

With this we set off down the pathway, which was very high and extremely slim.

_If after all this if I die falling from a bloody pathway I will be severely pissed off!_

Staring down at my feet as if I was walking a tight-rope wasn't helping but I wasn't exactly sure how to not fall. My hands were thrown out to my side already.

"Who makes pathways like this?!" I demanded in absolute frustration. "Clearly, Elves have some supernatural sense of balance!"

Bofur laughed loudly at my frustration. "You think we're strange now lassie, I can't wait until you've actually met the elves."

Thankfully after we got a little way down the path widened and it was, from that point on, a relatively nice stroll. We crossed a bridge and entered through a set of masterfully crafted figures. The place was even more breath-taking up close.

"Stay close to us." Fili muttered taking my hand as Kili nodded in agreement.

"Why?" I asked slightly confused.

The brothers shared a knowing look, "Elves cannot be trusted, when the dragon attacked Erebor they didn't help us, they were meant to be our friends." Fili told me.

"And afterwards they offered us no help to rebuild, no place to stay. Nothing." Kili finished.

"Right… that's all very awful guys," They raised their eyebrows at me. "No believe me it is. Absolutely despicable _but_ that doesn't make them axe wielding murderers or anything… I'll be fine." I gave them both a hard stare.

"It is generally dwarves who wield axes…" Gloin looked at me affronted.

"Sorry Gloin." I gave him a small smile. "Bad turn of phrase, if you'd seen a horror movie you'd understand."

He frowned but nodded at me in acceptance of the apology.

"The lads are right." Bofur cut in. "Elves can be very dangerous."

"Seriously?!" I laughed "_Elves!_ How bad could the little guys be?"

As the dwarves frowned at me their came a call from the stairs, "Mithrandir." I looked at the man walking down, he was clearly addressing Gandalf.

"No way." I said feeling my face slide into a grin all of its own account. "_No freakin' way!_" The dwarves looked at me puzzled. "_That's an elf?!_ Seriously?!"

Bewildered they turned to look at the stranger making his way down the stairs and then back at me. I, by this point, was turning bright red from the effort not to laugh.

"Oh god." I spluttered. "That gives a whole new image to Santa's Workshop." At which point I totally lost it. I began cackling like a mad woman for a moment and the elf stopped to give me a hard stare. "Sorry." I called managing to rein in my laughter to slightly hysterical giggles.

"Ah Lindir." Gandalf replied, giving me a 'shut it' look. The elf continued speaking to Gandalf in what I dubbed, 'elf-speak'.

"Blah, blah, what now?" Kili and Fili gave me amused glances from each side. "Your gobbledygook sounds better." I informed them. "Less…" I searched for the right word. "Airy."

While I'd been busy having my little aside and Gandalf was talking with Lindir we weren't listening to the sounds around us. A horn sounded from behind us making me jump and we saw a large amount of armed men riding towards us on horses, (yes horses!), which were huge to me now and equally terrifying. Thorin got a little defensive.

"Everybody get back here!" He ordered. "Close ranks!"

This of course meant Fili and Kili dragged me over to the other dwarves and pushed me into the middle of their circle, the elves came riding in and the dwarves looked at them menacingly as they rode around us.

"I feel like we're in the middle of the Croods family kill circle." I informed Bilbo in an exasperated tone. The response I got was an odd look.

Eventually the elves came to a stop. "Gandalf!" Proclaimed one, he had long dark hair, like the earlier elf Gandalf had been speaking too but he wasn't so thin and, well generally odd looking he looked, I decided, more like a man.

"Lord Elrond!" Gandalf returned the man's greeting before beginning to converse with him in elf-speak.

Obviously I listened with rapt attention. Yeah, or not, what I actually did was start poking Bilbo in the side while he was trapped here with me. He slapped my hand away, becoming more and more frustrated every time he had to do it.

"Strange for Orcs to come so close to our boarders." Lord Elrond stated switching back into English as he walked around Gandalf to hand Lindir his sword. "Something or _someone_ has drawn them near."

_Oh well our bad._ This thought was not to different from what Gandalf actually replied which was, "Ah well, that may have been us." He nodded towards the company and Thorin stepped forwards.

It appeared this was the ending of the kill circle moment. Bilbo moved away from me with an annoyed huff whilst Fili turned around, pulled my back to his chest and wrapped his arms firmly around my waist.

"Well hello." I murmured.

"Mimur." He greeted resting his chin on top of my head.

I blushed at the intimate body language. It clearly displayed a deep affection, Kili, who noticed my blush, smirked at my awkwardness.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." Lord Elrond greeted walking up to Thorin and towering over him.

The dwarves I felt, did well, to be intimidated so little when around others not of their kind.

"I do not believe we have met." Thorin replied in a rather stiff manner.

"You have your grandfathers bearing, I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain."

"Indeed." Thorin looked Lord Elrond dead in the face, "He made no mention of _you_." He might as well have spat in it for all the respect his tone held.

It didn't surprise me at all when Lord Elrond started speaking in elf-speak again.

"What is he saying?!" Demanded Gloin getting very het-up, "Does he offer us insult?!"

"No Master Gloin he is offering you food!" Gandalf sounded very irritated.

The dwarves all moved together to consider this for a second. "And perhaps a bath, for the lady." Lord Elrond smiled at me.

"Oh dude I am so there!" I tried to move forwards but found I was still encased in Fili's arms my back flush with his chest. "Yanno when…" I indicated with my hand.

Lord Elrond gave me an understanding smile.

"Ah well…" Gloin announced the dwarfs' decision. "in that case lead on."

"Can I go now?!" I whined.

Fili considered Lord Elrond for a moment before releasing me.

"Perfect, Golweneth." He directed a female elf over to me. "Show the lady where the dwarves will be staying, prepare her a bath and some clothes so hers can be cleaned."

"Dude you are just too much." I informed him as I took off with the female elf. "Hi I'm Zalia."

* * *

><p>The feeling of a nice hot bath was just the most wonderful sensation after months of travel. I scrubbed my hair and skin until I practically glowed. Golweneth was a beautiful dark haired elf, with perfect skin, luscious long legs and gorgeous eyes. I felt quite inferior.<p>

I got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around myself securely, then called out. Golweneth came back into the room carrying a _stunning _dress. She beamed at me. "Oh Zalia you look so much better!"

_God even her voice is beautiful._

"I feel it too!" I replied enthusiastically. "It's great."

"Well you can wear this while we clean your clothes, I've brought you some clean undergarments too, and some new shoes." She said scooping up my dirty things.

"Oh no, no, no."

Golweneth looked down at me in confusion. "What's the problem?"

"I can't wear a dress! I'm not a dress person! And they'll laugh at me!" I was becoming quite fretful.

"Don't be silly of course you can, anyway I insist; we had the clothes made especially while you were in the bath!"

I looked at her and the dress and then back to her. Still not sure I decided I'd try it on.

The dress was gorgeous. It was a royal blue colour that would bring out my eyes with wispy silver patterning and long flowing sleeves. It pulled tight under my breast and down my stomach before fanning out again at my waist. The bodice was a low cut and you could clearly see that I had a chest now, if, there was any doubt before. I put on the silver slip-on shoes and they matched perfectly.

"Look how lovely you look! You must wear it!"

Golweneth was very, very, convincing, she even managed to get me to allow her to set my hair in soft curls, rather than my crazy ones, which took _forever_. It wasn't until I could hear the dwarves talking at the table though, that I realised this. I stopped dead and she almost banged into the back of me.

"What's the matter?" She asked concerned.

"I can't do this, I look stupid." I muttered tugging at the dress.

Golweneth shook her head at me. "Zalia if I have to drag you in there I will, but I promise you it'll look better if you walk in yourself."

I gulped and nodded still feeling like a bundle of nerves. "Okay."

* * *

><p>When I walked into the room the chatter stopped. <em>Well, this is awkward.<em>

"Ah, Lady Zalia, you look lovely. Do you feel better now? I must say our seamstresses outdid themselves, that dress is beautiful on you." _Please, please, just shut up._

"Yeah, I feel a lot better thanks, the dress is beautiful and please it's just Zalia, Lady makes me feel… weird."

He nodded at me a bright smile on his face. "As you wish."

The walk down the table to where I could see a space between Fili and Kili seemed to take forever, each and every one of the dwarfs eyes followed me until I sat down.

"Would you quit it?!" I snapped at them.

Kili gave me a sly look. "Now Zai, don't be mean, we're just surprised you're actually a girl is all."

I scowled. "At the end of the day mate, I'm the one with the nice, soft, clean skin and hair in the nice, soft, clean clothes."

He laughed and the chatter seemed to pick up where it left off. I looked over to Fili who was still staring at me and waved a hand in his face "Hey Fili, you in there mate?" He blushed, stuttered and turned away to start talking to Nori.

Bofur and Kili snorted into their food and I shrugged. "Whatever."

"Try it," Dori implored Ori, "Just a mouthful."

"I don't like green food." Ori replied.

"Amen to that Ori." I called up the table to him.

"Where's the meat?" Asked Dwalin.

I audibly groaned. "Oh no! Don't tell me the elves are _veggies!_ I hate vegetables."

"What's a veggie?" Asked Bombur at the same time as Ori said "Have they got any chips?"

* * *

><p>The elves were playing some soothing music; it was… not exactly my cup of tea. I guffawed as I noticed Oins' agreement with me; he had stuffed a napkin in his ear trumpet.<p>

"Guys am I pretty?" I asked nervously twiddling a piece of hair around my finger.

Kili and Fili's eyes snapped too me and they looked petrified at my question, luckily for them they didn't have to answer it. Bofur took one for the team.

"Of course you are lassie. What makes you ask that all of a sudden?"

"Well it's just the elves are so…" I waved my hand at them, "Perfect."

He took a moment to look between me and the elvish girls. "Don't look so down heartened lass, you're _even more_ beautiful than they could ever be. Want to know why?"

I nodded pathetically.

"Because you're the right height for one, you've got a corker of a personality and you've got the high cheekbones, creamy skin, thin figure and…excuse me for sayin' it lass but more than ample bust. Your hair is beautiful, you're tiny and delicate and endearing. You're funny and smart and unique which is more than those girls could ever hope to be."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Bofur."

"No problem lassie. I'm just telling the truth."

At that point I didn't see the wink he threw at Fili who had gone decidedly pale when I turned back around.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked him. He just turned again and ignored me. "Fine." I mumbled turning to talk with Kili instead.

Kili gave a flirtatious wink at the elven girl playing the harp.

I scoffed at him when I noticed. "Didn't realise tall dark and elvish was your type Kils?"

He jumped slightly and glared at me, knowing he was caught. Trying to regain form with the other dwarves he said "Can't say I fancy elf maids myself, too thin, their all high cheekbones and creamy skin, got to have facial hair for me."

"Is he having a dig?" I questioned when Kili smirked at me I glowered. "He's having a dig."

"_Although_…" He continued "That one there's not bad." He indicated a male elf who was playing an instrument behind us.

_Well it is kind of questionable._

"That's not an elf maid!" Dwalin told him in a low voice winking. Kili looked unquestionably embarrassed and put-out at this information as the others began to laugh and I snorted.

"Funny…" He muttered. "And… and… thin with high cheekbones and creamy skin works wonderfully for you Zai." _Bless him trying to flatter me and gain back some respect._

"That my friend," I paused for affect. "Was Karma." I said patting him on the back.

"What's Karma?" Fili asked.

"Oh found your voice again have you?" Fili gave me an apologetic smile and I grinned back to let him know there was no harm done. "Karma's when you do something and the same kind of thing happens to you. For example, Kili was making a dig at me, so he said something stupid, Dwalin made a dig at him and the balance is restored… It's all about balance, Karma." I picked up an apple and began crunching into it. "Nori!"

He quickly shushed me. "We'll talk later." I hissed at him.

Fili absent-mindedly wrapped his arm around my waist as he talked over my head with Kili and began rubbing my side, quite distracting me from my anger over seeing Nori secrete a salt shaker on his person and instead making me focus on the situation I found myself in. I was feeling warm and tingly all over and blushing profusely. When Fili turned to talk to Dwalin, Kili wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Oh shut up." I muttered to him.

"Karma." He shot back.

"I am going to regret teaching you that word. I can feel it."

"Change the tune why don't 'cha." Said Nori turning to look at the elf I'd seen Kili winking at, "I feel like I'm at a funeral."

"Did somebody die?" Asked Oin who had gotten the wrong end of the stick and was looking around rather concerned. _Oh bless him._

"Alright lads." Bofur winked at me. "And lady, there's only one thing for it!" And to my dismay he climbed up on top of the table.

"Oh no!" I groaned, "I really don't think the elves will approve!"

Fili and Kili raised their eyebrows at me. "And you care because…?" Fili asked

"They were nice to me!" I defended.

"_There's an…." _He drew this note out before beginning to sing in his normal voice again using his boots on the table to make the tune."_inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old in, beneath an old grey hill._"

Then the others joined in singing and banging the tune. Fili started to pull me up. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Dance with me!" The huge beaming smile on his face was impossible to say no to, so with the dwarves singing and no 'proper' music we danced round in a very peculiar, fast, wild sort of way, but it was all the more wonderful for it. I had one tiny, soft hand in his large rough one and one on his shoulder while his other hand rested on my hip and we were bouncing round in circles like maniacs. Our hair was flying everywhere, as funnily enough, were Filis' moustache braids. _I must find out what that braiding thing is all about. _I thought remembering the look I'd been given when I'd asked if any of them would help me with my hair one morning when it was being particularly stubborn and I wanted to put it up.

"_There's an….inn, _

_there's an inn,_

_there's a merry old inn,_

_beneath an old grey hill._

_And there they brew a beer so brown,_

_that the Man in the Moon himself came down,"_ At the emphasis the dwarves put on this sentence Fili lifted me up and span round, I laughed loudly throwing my head back with pure happiness.

"_one night to drink his fill._

_Oh, the ostler has a tipsy cat,_

_that plays a five sting fiddle;_

_and up and down he saws his bow,_

_now squeaking high,_

_now purring low," _

The others were beginning to throw food at Bofur but with music or without Fili continued twirling me around in the space behind the tables.

"_now sawing in the middle._

_So…the cat and the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,_

_a jig that would wake the dead:_

_he squeaked and he sawed and he quickened the tune," _

Fili span me out and then pulled me back into him making me giggle loudly once more.

"_While the landlord shook the MAN IN THE MOON,"_

I was lifted up once again, Filis' strong hands holding me just beneath my breasts and making my abdomen look tiny as his hands nearly engulfed it. I laughed loudly again as he put me back down and I put one of my hands in his and one on his shoulder again as we began to bounce around.

"'_It's after three!' he said." _

The song ended and all the dwarves began throwing their salad over Fili and I when we stopped panting for breath; but smiling widely at each other, much like you do with rice when people get married. My breaths were coming out in short huffs and I was sure I must once again be bright red, the hair Golweneth had worked so hard to get just so was probably mussed right up but all of that was a completely moot point, because who wanted to be like the elves all pretty and perfect all the time. When I could be like this with Fili just by being me.

* * *

><p><strong>So there's another chapter, couldn't resist. <strong>

**Hope you liked it. **

**Rue**


	10. Levels of Serious

After dinner the dwarves went off to our room, or 'quarters', intent on finding more food, (which I certainly agreed with) but I wanted to explore first. That bright idea got me _undeniably_ lost.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ I scolded myself in a corridor which, to my dismay, I found led nowhere. _You know you have a terrible sense of direction Zai, why, why, why go off on your own?_

I was so busy reminding myself that if I _should_ have learnt one thing from my journey so far, it _should_ have been not to go off on my own, that I didn't hear the footsteps of another in my corridor.

"What'cha doin'?"

You'd think, after spending so much time with Fili and Kili I would be used to people popping up out of nowhere. As it turned out, I was not. Just as I did every other time, I jumped about a foot in the air, shrieking. "JESUS CHRIST!"

At this point the elf that had appeared next to me, doubled over in ear-splitting laughter. A kind of joyous laughter I hadn't heard in a while and it caught me by surprise, although I wasn't at first sure why. As I held onto my chest trying to settle my rapidly beating heart, I realised, it wasn't the kind of laughter I _expected_ from an elf and that's what was so shocking.

_I thought everything about them was stiff and well-mannered and composed constantly._

I tilted my head to the side and considered the elf for a minute. He looked _youthful_. It's a confusing word to use because, as anyone who has ever seen an elf will know, they all look youthful, but this elf radiated it. He had a shock of coal black hair which was mussed over his eyes and I realised with a start _short_ something I'd yet to see on anyone except Bilbo. He also had deep forest green eyes which were currently shining with mirth. As he regained control and managed to stand up to his full height I realised I barely reached his stomach.

"Done laughing at me now?" I chirped cheekily.

He grinned, "Perhaps not quite, let me consider everything else odd about you for a second."

"Oh touché my friend, touché."

At this response he flashed a set of pearly whites and held out his hand. "I am Thandir, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"And I am Zalia." I announced mocking his slightly haughty tone, "Likewise."

"What is a little dwarf, such as yourself, doing wondering the corridors of Rivendell all alone?"

"Mate." I stated putting my hand up in a defensive manner. "If you're trying to intimidate me, it just aint gonna fly."

He chuckled. "Must you ruin all my fun?"

"Afraid so." I smirked. "They call me buzzkill bob yanno."

The two of us fell silent for a second. If anyone had happened upon us they would have thought we looked a very strange pair indeed, we were about as opposite in looks as opposite gets.

"So… what were you doing?" He asked.

"Wellllllll….." I drew the word out in a slightly high-pitched tone to indicate something rather ridiculous sounding was probably going to come up. "I was exploring….and then I got lost and now I'm standing here talking to you, having seen no more of Rivendell than this corridor and what I'd already seen before." I finished with my hands on my hips looking, I thought quite pissed off.

He held back another chuckle as his body shook in silent laughter. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Go on elf boy, laugh it up!"

At my acknowledgement of his obvious reaction to the situation, he began to laugh once more, it took roughly another five minutes, but eventually he calmed down enough to talk. "I'm sorry…" He said through chuckles, "It's just…you look so adorable, really rather cute actually, when you do that."

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. "Hey! I take offense to that! I do not look 'cute'," Making use of air-quotes I continued. "I look menacing and threatening and…._WHY _are you laughing?!" I sounded about as exasperated as I felt, throwing my arms up in annoyance.

"I'm…I just… You're so tiny, and…." He struggled to catch his breath to reply. "you think you look menacing."

"This coming from stretch here." I muttered to the empty corridor.

Thandir stopped laughing immediately. "I don't know what it means but I feel your _touché _word would be appropriate."

Despite myself I grinned at him. "It is yes….." We stood in silence for another few seconds, _Just ask Zai, _I argued with my pride. "So you gonna help me out here or what?" I asked awkwardly.

He pursed his lips and cocked his head at me. "Sure. Why not?"

"Ahh," I sighed "A man after my own heart."

Thandir flashed me another award winning smile.

* * *

><p>When I asked Thandir for his help, all-be-it slightly begrudgingly, I expected him to return me to somewhere I could find my way from and then disappear to laugh with the other elves about my foolhardiness. This however, was not the case.<p>

"So," He began as we made our way into the court-yard area again. "You wanted to explore?"

I bobbed my head as I ran my eyes over the bits of Rivendell I could see.

"Well then, I will be your tour guide. I promise I am entirely qualified and respectable." He winked at me in a way which suggested we were conspiring to rob a bank. "Plus I give the best tours."

It turned out, he most likely did, although you wouldn't find me admitting that. First he took me and showed me around the different buildings pointing out interesting bits of architecture, and then we walked around the gardens and let me tell you, elves _know_ how to garden. Their flowers were like nothing I'd ever seen before in my life. Some towered over me; some even towered over Thandir whilst others were so small they were hard to see. The gardens were all vivid colours and the fragrances which wafted around smelled much like I thought Rivendell looked, heavenly. It certainly explained why all the elves seemed to smell of flowers at the very least. After the architecture and garden tour he took me inside and showed me the library, which, let me tell you, was amazing.

I don't think I could do a good enough job of describing the library if I tried. There were old books and new books all mixed in together, ones which looked as if they were falling apart and ones still looking tough as nails. The covers were a bright verity of colours, desks of a dark oak wood with the most wonderful filigree carvings were situated around the room for working at, and they also had comfy armchairs by the fires for a simpler more enjoyable time. The books reached the up to a ceiling which looked as high and as detailed as that of Westminster Abbey and was somehow even more beautiful. They had the slide along ladders to access the different books from and platforms running on each level with more desks and armchairs. Honestly, it was awe inspiring.

"I think I could spend every moment of the rest of my life in here and not read everything I want to." I murmured.

Thandir nodded. "It's something isn't it?" He looked proud that he could say this was an elvish library and I couldn't blame him. If I was him I would be proud too.

"We need to leave before I get lost in here forever."

Smiling kindly at me he placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me out. "I felt like that the first time too. I spent three-weeks in here once."

"How many of the books have you read?" I questioned.

"Not nearly enough." He sounded wistful.

"In your entire glorious elf years so far and you haven't read hardly anything?" I asked.

Smirking he replied, "Hey, I'm only twenty you know… well in elf years."

"Huh!" I exclaimed, "Me too. What are the chances?" I thought about it for a second. "Not in elf years." I clarified.

"Dwarf years then?" He asked.

"You would think wouldn't you?" I replied sneakily.

* * *

><p>After another twenty minutes of varied degrees of pleading and begging he managed to get me to explain my statement.<p>

"Well, that is _most certainly_ something." He hummed under his breath as he thought. "Another world, how brilliant."

I smiled at him. "Actually, this one's a lot better; at least you know it's the creepy looking guys who are going to be dangerous. Although….my world _does _have football."

A frown marred his face. "Football?" He asked.

As we walked back to the guest quarters (and while I explained football) I couldn't help but look and I mean_ really_ look at Thandir. He was _beautiful_, in a manly way that is… if being beautiful can be manly. I knew the polite male term should be handsome but that wasn't right. It was definitely beautiful, which was fine, if you liked that sort of thing. I could appreciate the fact that he was a good-looking elf but, I liked my men to look like…well…_men_.

_Like Fili._ The little voice in my head was loud and sudden and I stopped in the corridor considering it for a moment. It was _right._

"Zalia are you quite well?" Thandir asked me a look of concern gracing his soft features.

_What do I say? I can't tell him I was deciding a dwarf is a hell of a lot more handsome and manly he is. That would be rude. _

"Yes… I…" I cast around in my head for any old excuse as we turned into the corridor which held the entrance to the guest quarters. "I realised I haven't trained today is all."

"Oh." He thought about this for a minute. "Well why don't you train with me tomorrow? We have a competition between all the elves our age at the end of the week. You could join in! Uphold dwarven honour and all that."

"Well… I don't know about the upholding honour bit…"

"It'll be fu-uuu-nnn." He drew the word out suggestively. "Well… unless you're chicken."

"I'm not scared!" I replied affronted.

"Then prove it." He challenged eyes glinting.

"Fine."

I was so busy in my little stare-down I didn't notice the door swing open behind me.

"It's a date then my lady." He bowed and kissed my hand.

I rolled my eyes, showing him just what I thought of that action.

"Sure."

* * *

><p>I watched Thandir walk off down the corridor and grinned shaking my head. <em>Now there's an elf I could be friends with.<em> Turning around to enter the rooms I was faced with an open door.

Everyone inside was silent. As far as I could figure, the only two missing were Thorin and Gandalf and poor Bilbo was stood at the door looking considerably awkward.

"I…I'm sorry I didn't realise I was interrupting." He stuttered.

I patted him on the shoulder as I walked inside, "Don't worry about it mate. No harm done, didn't even realise you were there."

Bilbo nodded at me quickly before hurrying out, closing the door firmly behind him. No one moved, no one even spoke, and I was so caught up in the strange silence I didn't notice everyone's eyes flicking between Fili and I.

I flashed my eyes around the room once. Everyone stared back silently. "Oookaay…." Moving to the couch and flopping down on it next to Kili I quickly got comfortable. The silence stretched on and it was beginning to become quite unnerving.

_I wonder if they found any meat, I am pretty hungry. Perhaps we're not eating it until later. I don't know. I wonder if Thandir understood the rules of football. Wonder what training with elves will be like. Not sure I should have agreed, not sure Thorin would have. Nah, it's not a problem he totally would have if an elf had challenged him like that… oh well, maybe he'll be annoyed. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. As long as I don't enter this competition it won't matter. From what Bilbo was telling me as we left from dinner it sounds as if we're stuck here a week anyways until Lord Elrond can read those moon runes. Whatever the hell they are. _

"He was pretty." Kili finally broke the silence in a low, quiet voice. Everyone else listened in, staring over at us.

"Who Bilbo?" I asked puzzled, having gotten quite caught up in my thoughts.

Kili rolled his eyes at me. "No, the elf."

"He was kinda beautiful wasn't he?" I replied. "Or is it handsome? Should I say handsome, even though beautiful seems to fit better? I can't quite decide." I looked to Kili expecting him to answer when Fili butted in.

"Say whatever the hell you want!" And with that he stormed across the room, flung open the door and strode out, muttering something about finding Thorin, slamming it closed again behind him.

"What's up with him?" I quizzed the others looking around the room slightly bewildered for an answer. "I've never seen Fili so… so… angry." I finally decided on the right word, and, it definitely was the right word because he had almost exuded rage and tension.

"I didn't realise tall, dark and elvish was your type Zai." Kili responded throwing my own words back at me.

My eyes swiftly widened in realisation at the dwarves odd silence. "OH!" I comically exclaimed shooting up and putting my hands over my mouth "OH you all think?! Oh God no! Me and Thandir?!" I hooted. "No, no, no!" It took me a while to regain my breath after laughing so hard and Kili and the others were looking quite startled.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, I managed to calm down and fall back into the sofa. "What do you all think I am?!" I asked. "As if I'm going to go…" I struggled to find the right word or phrase, somehow 'on the pull' didn't sound right. "_'wooing' _random elvish men."

"Well…well what were you doing then?" Asked Nori who was the first to find his voice after my outburst.

"Well I totally got lost right, so I was just hanging around in this random corridor, lamenting all my bad luck when suddenly he pops up beside me and I'm all like 'AHHH' and he's all like 'hahaahha' and anyways we got into a bit of a pissing contest about our heights, menacing looks and other such nonsense and then I'm like, 'Dude think you could help me out here?' Cause yanno I was totally lost." I paused a second and took a deep breath. "SO… then he's all like 'sure why not?' and so I'm telling him how I got lost and he's telling me 'oh I'll totally give you a tour' all stuck up his own arse about how good his tours are…" I took another large gulp of air. "So I'm all like 'fine we'll see' and let me tell you it was _freaking awesome_ although I wasn't about to tell him that and then he's all like talking to me about football 'cause I mentioned it so I'm explaining and stuff and then he's all like asking me something and I say about not training today" Another deep gulp. "and then he's all like 'we train better than you, you're scared you can't keep up blah, blah, blah. So I'm all like 'no way man' and then he's all 'fine prove it' and I'm all like 'fine' and then he's like 'it's a date' all kissing my hand and shit which by the way is totally girly." I took a few seconds to pause before saying. "AND, he is totally not my type. I like my men to look like men thank you very much!" When I finished my tone was quite haughty and I crossed my arms.

"He was friendly though…" I added. "I liked him."

It took the guys a few seconds, and to be honest I couldn't blame them, before they began to take in what I had said.

"OH!" Gloin finally exclaimed. "I understand lassie!"

The others all followed soon after.

* * *

><p>"So." I huffed later on, it was getting late and I'd been biding my time waiting for Thorin, Bilbo and Fili to come back but when they didn't well… "I was waiting for the others but I think we've waited long enough, I'll just have to relay the message later. It's time we had our talk about sexism." <em>I was forgetting something important I could feel it.<em> "Oh and someone translate for Bifur."

The dwarves all looked up at me a bit startled and Ori quickly opened his journal and got poised ready to write.

"What you did back there…what Fili did back there was _entirely_ out of line." They all blinked at me, sighing at their obvious blank looks I continued. "Right, so I take it no one knows why?" Still blank.

"Listen." I used my hands to hoist myself up onto the table and sat up there as if it was my podium. "Where I come from, women have fought hard, _died_, in the fight for equal rights. Where I come from women can be in armies on the front line with men, they get equal pay and sure it's nice to be looked after once in a while but we're largely _independent_." I stressed this point. "If I wanted to live on my own I could, if I wanted to go around shagging random strangers, which," I pointed out at the dwarves look of disgust. "I didn't" They all collectively breathed out. "I could have. And yes it might not be the best thing but actually it was only women who seemed to really look down on other women for it. If I wanted to get married and divorced a hundred times I could have. You have to understand where I'm coming from here! I'm _used _to making the important decisions for myself and I don't appreciate them being taken away from me!"

"And you have to appreciate where we're coming from." Bofur took up the dwarves mantel. "There are a lot less dwarf women than there are men. That makes them precious. But they are strong and sturdy and able…"

I glared at them crossing my arms over my chest.

"We're not saying you're not lassie," Balin continued in a kind grand-fatherly tone. "But you're small and petite and so much more, fragile_ looking_ and we care for you. You're a woman something already considered precious and now you're small and sweet and you've won part of the heart of every single dwarf in this company,"

Kili mumbled something and I thought I caught the words 'whole' and 'one' but I couldn't be sure.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing!" He looked alarmed.

I brushed it off and turned back to Balin who continued. "and it's just not in our nature to_ not_ look after you."

I surveyed them all for a minute. "I don't like it at all. _But_" I raised my voice as they all went to cut across me. "If you promise to keep my ideals in mind and be respectful of them, I'll do the same for you."

It seemed we had reached an agreement at their answering grins. _Shaky and unstable perhaps, liable to break but an agreement nonetheless. _

"So… what's with these braids?" I asked. "Why'd you go so weird when I asked someone to put up my hair?"

Fili it seemed had returned. "Braiding is a _very_ intimate act for dwarfs."

I nearly fell off the table in my hurry to turn and look at him. "We have different braids for different reasons. For example, my moustache concerns my skill in battle and the one on each side of my head concerns my place in the royal line." He told me catching me and holding me securely. "The beads represent, not only the dwarf but the significance of the braid and tell a story all of their own, what it's for. There's other ways of doing this of course and most dwarves will work out the braids meanings almost instantly but for important purposes such as marriage beads will be added at the end of the braid."

I listened as carefully as I possibly could, wanting to remember every single word.

"To braid another's hair is to enter into a courtship and _that _is an _enormous _decision to make." Fili finished before making sure I was securely on my feet and walking out onto the deck.

"So… who's gonna tell me more?"

From the response I got; I gathered no-one. It seemed I would be waiting for more information until Fili decided to give me it. Kili and Fili whispered for a long time as I stood in the room dithering. _Am I welcome out there after this conversation? Did I offend them? Compared to earlier it seems like we've reached whole new levels of seriousness I wasn't sure we were capable of!_

Whatever Kili was saying to Fili it seemed to have got through to him because he suddenly set his chin and nodded. Just as I reached the door to my room, having decided it was perhaps best for me just to go to bed, sturdy, tough arms wrapped around my waist.

"Come on Mimur," Fili murmured breath gusting against my ear. "You can't miss all the fun."

* * *

><p><strong>So did you like it?<strong>

**First I want to say thanks to all the people who have reviewed, fav'd and followed. Now. I've had a few questions concerning the word 'MIMUR'... I know you want me to tell you what it means but I'm not going to. I promise if you look hard enough you'll find it; took me ages to find the word I wanted, but Fili will tell her eventually and I don't want to ruin that moment in the story. Sorry guys.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Rue**


	11. Mood Swings and Self Doubt

To say the next morning didn't go exactly as I anticipated would be an understatement. I found some training clothes in exactly my size at the end of the bed when I woke up which I promptly put on.

_Man I must have been out like a light. Mind you that bed was com-fy!_

How Golweneth had brought those in without my notice was obvious. I sleep like the dead. The elvish training clothes were a lot lighter material than what I was used to which should have been nice, but actually it was irritating I wanted to get better not worse! However, they were clean, soft and comfy. Rather plain compared to my usual clothing just a dark black get-up which made me feel like a bit of a Goth. After dressing and having my wash I decided it was about time for some breakfast.

Still stretching I left the bedroom which was decorated rather like those in old manor houses, as carefully as possible. I was too afraid I was going to break something if I stayed in there much longer.

The others were all sitting in the main room of our 'quarters' yawning widely. "Ooooh!" Bofurs' yawn interrupted his attempt at speech. I waited for him to finish still rubbing my eyes sleepily. When I looked up again all the dwarves were staring at me, even Thorin!

"What?" I enquired.

Surprisingly it was Dwalin that answered. "That. Was. Adorable." He punctuated each word as the other dwarves nodded in agreement.

I glowered at them, "Say it again and I'll cause you no end of pain."

Grinning at me they shook their heads in disbelief as Fili slipped his arm around my waist. "Anyone would think the elves are spoiling you."

"Maybe they are. I'm not complaining I kinda like it. I'm plan on appreciating it for this week at least."

Bomburs' stomach grumbled loudly and he looked around sheepishly at all of us. "I'd say that's the breakfast bell." Balin announced.

We all strolled out to meet the elves for breakfast; I was disappointed to find I still had no idea where I was going.

_What a spread._ I could feel my mouth salivating at all the luscious looking food on display. There was a ridiculous amount of dishes which included some of my favourites; sausages, eggs, toast, French toast, bacon, hash browns, scrambled eggs, baked beans and a whole load of fruits and breakfast cereals. I knew right where I was heading though, _straight for the bacon! _I thought to myself as I started forwards, I had just finished loading my plate up when Lord Elrond walked in with the elves. Golweneth came and sat down next to me ignoring the other elves, who, looked scandalised.

"Morning." She greeted me cheerfully.

I smiled at her over my breakfast, knife and fork posed ready to dig in, "Morning." I struck my fork down into my bacon, or where my bacon _used_ to be anyway.

"Dude!" I yelped, "Where's my bacon?"

Golweneth laughed airily as Thandir sat himself down on my other side.

"YOU!" I accused catching the attention of the dwarves. They were still loading up their plates. "You stole my breakfast!"

Thandir let out his light-hearted chuckle as he placed a bowl of fruit and yogurt in front of me. "Replaced." He corrected lightly, "I replaced your breakfast."

"_But why?!_" I whined. "It looked so yummy!"

"Because you agreed to train with me, which means you have to be able to do everything the way I do it."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know, I'm starting to reconsider the idea that I may, even for a second, have thought I could _possibly_ like you at all."

"What a shame." He countered, looking decidedly, _faux_, woeful, putting a hand over his heart. "How shall I ever survive?"

I glared at him. "Just you wait stretch. Just you wait."

Condescendingly he raised his eyebrows at me as the dwarves sat down around us, Fili and Kili opposite who looked, I realised with a jolt of unease, mildly threatening. "I am shivering in my boots midget."

I slowly slid my eyes over to him, mouth set in a grim line, my glare icy. "What did you call me?"

Thandir smirked, "Is it a little bone of contention? _Little_ being the operative word of course."

I could see the dwarves bristling around me but I brushed it off; he didn't actually mean anything… I don't think, but he was on thin ice as it is.

"Dangerous territory there mate."

Playfully narrowing his eyes he looked at me, "Are you trying to threaten me again?"

"No." I replied smiling blissfully as I dug into my breakfast. "I was talking about the birds trying to build nests in your hair up there."

Frowning he patted his head. "What?"

"Oh! Sorry!" I feigned shock. "That _is_ your hair."

Golweneth laughed a loud musical laugh as she ate her dainty breakfast. Thandir scowled at me. "How's the weather down there? Must suck. It's nice and warm and sunny up here but I bet the rays don't reach you."

"That's okay, you know, if that that's the best you can do." I replied in the warmest tone I could manage.

"Why's that?" He asked suspiciously.

"Because if I wanted your opinion I'd climb up there and ask you for it… thing is…" I grinned widely as I got up having finished my fruit and yogurt planning to go and get some cereal. "I've learnt pretty quickly it's seldom worth it."

His mouth dropped open as I walked round the end of the table until I was behind Kili and Fili, "Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." I winked and bent down whispering in the dwarves ears, "Boys, play nicely."

By the time I returned with my cereal, Golweneth and Thandir were laughing together while Kili and Fili were still scorching Thandir with the harshest looks I'd ever seen on their faces. The other dwarves didn't look to impressed either. Thorin in particular was looking down from Lord Elronds' table with a grim face.

"I suppose it took you so long because it's so much further for you to walk." Thandir had obviously not forgotten the insulting banter we were having.

I patted him on the shoulder sympathetically after putting my cereal down, "Oh Thandir!" I said in a mock sympathy voice. "I get it now, don't worry! We're all here for you!"

He looked at me absolutely bewildered. "What are you going on about woman?!"

It took every ounce of my willpower not to let a sly grin slip on to my face. "IT'S SUCH A SAD, SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS!" I announced loudly catching everyone's attention with my fake sobbing.

"Would you _stop_?!" He hissed at me yanking me down into my seat.

Fili growled under his breath and I'm pretty sure both brothers were about to stand up to defend my honour or whatever when Bofur and Dwalin who sat on either side of them, put restraining hands on their shoulders looking at me quizzically.

"I understand why you're not that bright! Oh! What a shame! If only your head wasn't always in the clouds!" I finished this sentence on a high and ate a spoonful of my cereal grinning slyly as everyone around us began laughing.

"You…You…"

"Yes?"

Thandir narrowed his eyes at me, "You just wait."

"Honestly, I'm shaking, must be terrified… oh wait!" Everyone at breakfast was still chuckling, "It must be the lack of sun you mentioned."

* * *

><p>I debated with myself the whole way through breakfast about introducing my new elf-buddies to my dwarves but eventually decided against it. I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to open up the floor to arguments yet.<p>

After breakfast I set out with Thandir to train. The elven training arena was something totally _epic_. It was part of the forest but each part had been adjusted to help with different parts of the training. We chatted conversationally as we began practice, starting with a little sparring. I was quite shocked at Thandirs' level of ability, I hadn't expected him to be bad per-se but I hadn't exactly anticipated that he would be as good as he was either.

When we stopped for a breather after the first hour he frowned at me. "Without meaning to insult your dwarven friends I think I may be able to help you in ways they can't." He stated.

"What do you mean?" I was positive the dwarves were all especially skilled; they had proven that to me a number of times up until this point.

"Well…" It seemed like he was trying to find the right explanation. "They're stockier and stouter than you are so although I'm not denying their speed and skill you should work on becoming faster. That could only aid you in battle."

I mulled this idea over for a moment and finding no issues with it agreed. "Okay, that could work."

For the next two hours Thandir drilled me in different agility and balance techniques, techniques, from the look on the faces of the other three young elves around us, which were supposed to be secret. He had me jumping through trees, running up hills and improving my speed in hand to hand combat as well as with a blade.

"You know." He said as I finally managed to beat him while on top of a log which was perched precariously on top of two trees. "You're not half bad."

"Thanks." I huffed, completely warn out. "You're none too shabby yourself."

Grinning he helped me down from the log and onto the ladder. _Bloody elves and there long limbs!_ I thought as I climbed down.

"I think that's enough for today. You should probably go and find your friends."

I nodded, "Probably."

Leaving the training arena I first went back to our quarters which, I'm proud to announce, I found on the first go and had a nice soothing bath to calm my aching muscles. Then I got changed into another dress Golweneth had laid out this time a bright vibrant red with the silver detailing. It took me a while to find the dwarves and when I did, well, I wish I hadn't.

"OH GOD MY EYES!" I yelled throwing my arms across my face as I saw them all mucking around in the fountain, stark bollock naked.

There were eleven splashes. "You can look Mimur." Fili called over.

"No!" I shouted back, "I really can't, I don't think I'm going to get the image of a naked Bombur from my head soon enough thanks!"

Laughter belted out from the direction of the fountain. "Sorry Bombur! I'll just be inside if you guys need me!" And with that I turned still shivering from the fountain and headed back inside.

_Honestly, what were they thinking?! _

"Hey! Mimur wait up!" Fili called and I heard a jogging behind me.

"If you're naked when I turn round I'll never forgive you."

He chuckled, a deep, throaty chuckle which had me shivering again for entirely different reasons. "I'd like to think I don't look _that_ bad thanks!"

I just stood still with my eyes dutifully trained in the right direction, which was the opposite direction from Fili. I'd never seen anyone naked before and I really wanted to will the image of Bombur out of my head. I was sure I could most likely block it out in time but I think if I saw Fili naked my brain would turn against me.

"Honestly Mimur, I'm fully clothed."

Pursing my lips but deciding to trust him I turned round. It turned out he wasn't exactly lying, what he did fail to point out however, was that his white shirt was clinging to his wet torso which meant I could see everything.

_Good gracious. Well fuck me. I…_

Any semblance of thought I had flew out of the window as he stepped up closer to me, I think for a second I may have forgotten how to breathe. The shirt clung tightly to his chest and arms, which were toned to perfection. I could see every line defining the muscles and I blushed as he stepped closer still.

"See something you like?" His voice was breathy and his breathing was slightly ragged, I couldn't do much more than stare.

"I…I…I…"

Grinning widely from ear to ear Fili leaned down and tucked a piece of my hair behind one of my ears. "I don't think…" He whispered. "I've ever seen you lost for words before Mimur."

With every word he spoke I was becoming redder and redder. The tips of his moustache braids tickled my cheeks as I tilted my head upwards willing myself to look at his face. I gulped. The look in his eyes was almost… feral.

"In fact," He continued leaning closer still. "I think I rather like it."

As he began to lean in I felt my eyes fluttering closed of their own accord. I had just enough time to think, _oh my god, he's going to kiss me, _and then…

"ZALIA!" I sprang back from Fili coughing awkwardly as Thandir rounded the corner. "There you are. Lord Elrond said he saw you come this way. A few of the other young elves and I are going to have a game of this 'football'. You in?"

I looked fleetingly at Fili who was looking more and more like he wanted to punch something every second. _He hates Thrandir, honestly it's stupid. _

"I…" Fili swallowed thickly and placed his eyes on mine.

"It's fine Mimur, go."

"Sure." _Was he going to kiss me? _I thought as I walked off chatting with Thandir on my way to change into more appropriate attire, _No Zai don't be stupid. Fili wouldn't be interested in that with you. He's your friend for Christ's sake and he'll want a proper dwarf woman, stocky and bearded, not a…whatever the hell you are._

* * *

><p>As it turned out everyone decided to watch the game anyway. It was a bit intimidating I must admit to be on a pitch surrounded by people three times your size.<p>

"You're a striker right?" Thandir asked.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Cool, that's where I'm going to play too!"

Lord Elrond it seemed was the referee. "Captains," he announced. "Shake hands."

As Thandir and the captain of the opposing team, a tall bulky, ginger elf shook hands it seemed rather tense. _I feel I've been dragged into something I don't entirely understand here. _

Lord Elrond flipped the coin and the other team won the toss.

"Why does it seem like that captain was trying to break your hand?" I asked in hushed tones as Thandir came back over to stand next to me.

"Because he was. That's Golweneths' brother, and he doesn't entirely approve of my views towards her, she's a noble and I'm a nobody." Thandir muttered keeping an eye on the ginger elf.

Puzzled I shot back. "What views are those?"

"I think I'm in love with her."

Lord Elrond blew the whistle.

* * *

><p>To say it was a dirty game of football would be entirely underplaying the situation. I'm pretty sure I was lucky to walk off that pitch alive.<p>

"Thandir!" Noticing my yell he crossed the ball into the box and I headed it right into the back of the net.

"GOAL!" Shouted our team all running around celebrating as the others looked at us menacingly.

Eighty eight minutes later and we were two-two, I must admit, the elves for people who had never played before, were completely cracking at football.

"ZALIA!" Thandir called. I crossed the ball over into the box, he booted it towards the back of the net and "GOAL!"

"YES!"

Suddenly I was higher than I'd been in a while and spinning around ridiculously fast, laughing my heart out. When Thandir finally put me down I gave him a high five. Or low five as it would seem to him. The dwarves were all cheering for our team. All except the one I was really interested in seeing.

"Where's Fili?" I questioned Kili as soon as I stepped off the pitch.

Kili pouted at me, "You never taught me that strange celebratory hand gesture." Rolling my eyes I demonstrated a high five with my hands.

"This is called a high-five, except you only high five other people, not yourself and you do it in celebration. Where's Fili?"

Kili smiled at me and indicated somewhere behind him, "Over there."

* * *

><p>Fili was indeed, 'over there' in fact he was way, way, 'over there' sitting on the grass picking at it in a down-trodden sort of way.<p>

"Fili?" My voice was quiet and I put my hand on his shoulder gently.

He continued pulling at the grass which made little snapping sounds as he ripped clumps of it out.

"Fili." I tried again.

"Why aren't you over there celebrating with your suitor?" He grumbled in the lowest, saddest voice I had ever heard Fili use.

"You cannot be serious?" He glanced up at me, looking confused. "You're jealous!"

"No!"

"Yes you are, oh my god. Fili, Thandir is not my 'suitor', he's my friend. Now stop being an idiot and get up, I want to go and have some real dinner with my _family._"

Fili grinned at me, "Well, when you put it like that…"

"Men." I muttered as he grabbed my hands and dragged me off towards our guest quarters.

While we were sitting eating Thorin approached me and slid into the seat Fili had not long vacated.

"What is going on between you and Fili? I noticed he seemed a little…off earlier, as did you." His deep, authoritative voice calmed me down. It felt like I hadn't spoken to Thorin in days.

"Oh it's all good. Fili thought Thandir was my 'suitor' or whatever but when I explained he's a friend and you guys are my family he cheered right up. I mean honestly Fili and Kili are the best friends I've ever had and as for the rest of you, I mean it, you're family. How he could think I was replacing you all I don't know!"

Thorin frowned at me for a second. "Sometimes for a bright girl Zalia, you are completely dim." He said before rising and walking off.

"What?!" I called after him, "What do you mean?!" I groaned when I received no response. _Honestly, these dwarfs and their mood swings._

* * *

><p>I tried to put my messed up ideas about whatever it was Thorin meant and my disappointment at my realisation that Fili could never be into someone like me to the back of my mind as I sat with everyone while they were burning furniture on the balcony to cook food. <em>I can't even bring myself to be angry at them for it. I just don't care. <em>

Bofur who was sitting opposite his brother looked down at the sausage he was holding, and then back to Bombur, whose weight was making the table he was sat on creak.

"Bombur!" He called throwing him the sausage. As Bombur caught the sausage the table collapsed and everyone began laughing hysterically. Everyone except me that is…

"Are you alright Mimur, you seem a little… off?" Fili came to sit by my side.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Just tired."

He frowned at me and brushed his hand along the bottom of my jaw, grasping my chin with his thumb and forefinger he tilted my head up towards him. "Did the elf upset you?"

"No Fili." I rolled my eyes at him.

His frown deepened as his eyebrows knitted together even further. "Then what's the matter?"

"I told you nothing."

"And I know you well enough to know when you're lying." His voice gained a hard edge.

Gulping I wondered about the appropriate response. _Do I ask him if he was going to kiss me earlier? No that would be embarrassing. _"I was just thinking about things… you know when people are in love and they're like…over the moon?"

Fili nodded his braided moustache swaying with the motion.

"I'm never going to find anything like that."

"Oh Mimur," He hugged me close to him, "Of course you will, any man would be lucky to have you."

_Maybe, but not you, you're a prince and I'm just a nobody. It's just like Thandir and Golweneth, why would dwarfs be any different to elves when it came to that sort of thing?_

Bofur and Dwalin began playing some music and Fili and I just sat there hugging each other close, wrapped up in our warm embrace as everybody else sang and danced.

"Please cheer up Mimur." Fili mumbled placing a short kiss on top of my head.

I decided to put on my brave face. "I wish I could play an instrument. I can only do this stupid thing with a cup."

"Hey Bombur!" Fili yelled. "Pass us a cup!"

A wooden cup came flying through the air.

"What did you want that for?" Kili asked.

Fili grinned down at me. "Mimur's going to show us something."

"What?! I never said that! I said it was stupid!"

It was too late for arguments however; everyone had crowded round to listen. "Fine." I said sitting up with my legs crossed and beginning to make the beat by clapping and with the cup after four sets, I began to sing…

"_I got my ticket for the long way 'round,_

_Two bottle 'a whisky for the way, _

_And I sure would like some sweet company,_

_And I'm leaving tomorrow, what-do-ya say?_

_When I'm gone, _

_When I'm g-oo-one,_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone,_

_You're gonna miss me by my hair,_

_You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

_You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone._

_When I'm gone,_

_When I'm go-oo-one,_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone,_

_You're gonna miss me by my walk,_

_You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh,_

_You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone."_

I kept just the beat going another four times before I started singing again.

"_I got my ticket for the long way 'round,_

_The one with the prettiest of views,_

_It's got mountains, It's got rivers,_

_It's got sights to give you shivers,_

_But it sure would be prettier with you._

_When I'm gone, _

_When I'm g-oo-one,_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone,_

_You're gonna miss me by my hair,_

_You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

_You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone._

_When I'm gone,_

_When I'm go-oo-one,_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone,_

_You're gonna miss me by my walk,_

_You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh,_

_You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone." _

I kept the beat going for two more times and then I stopped.

"Well lads." Bofur announced, "I think the lass has been holding out on us."

* * *

><p>Long after everyone went to bed, I stayed up staring out at the stars.<p>

"What's the matter with you?" Bilbo asked sliding up next to me.

I almost, _almost,_ let out a scream. Gandalf wasn't joking when he said hobbits could be silent.

"Nothing Bilbo, just…"

"It's Fili isn't it?" _Man that hobbit is observant…or else…_

"Am I that obvious?"

"You both are." He gave me a kind smile; "I think the company's been taking bets actually."

_Did he say? _I was frightened of giving myself any false hope. "What do you mean we both are?"

"Fili likes you in that way too; it's obvious from the way he looks at you, especially when he thinks you're not watching." Bilbo was being very calm and soothing.

"I don't think so, he's a prince and I'm a nobody Bilbo. It couldn't happen. Thandir's having the same problem with Golweneth because she's a noble." I stated blandly trying not to let the emotion get to me.

"They're elves, it's different for them."

"You think so?" I asked feeling slightly better.

Bilbo considered this for a moment. "I don't know for sure, I'm a hobbit not a dwarf, _but_ a few months ago now a strange girl that turned up at my door told me she didn't want me to regret not doing something. And now I'm telling her. You don't want to regret not doing something, so just carry on as you are Zalia, see what happens. At the end of the day Fili isn't a nasty guy, he's not going to laugh at you or anything. Just take it easy and stop shutting the poor man out."

Bilbo got up and walked inside as I sat and considered his words. _You know Zai, Bilbo Baggins might just be right. Why shouldn't Fili like you in the same way as you like him? And if he doesn't well, that'll suck but cross that bridge when you come to it. Right now just continue on as normally as you possibly can, being a moody sod isn't going to help anyone._

* * *

><p><strong>I'm thinking it's probably one more chapter of Rivendell left before they move on. <strong>

**I hope you liked it, and sorry about the almost kiss guys, mean I know.  
><strong>

**Rue.**


	12. Killing and Kissing

The rest of the week at Rivendell seemed to go pretty smoothly. Once I got over my awkwardness with Fili, thanks to some unexpected advice from my hobbit friend, we all fell into an easy routine. I would get up every morning, change into my training clothes and have breakfast with the dwarves, after breakfast I would meet up with Thandir and we would spend until roughly around lunchtime training. I still failed to mention exactly _what _we were doing to the rest of the company, (except Bilbo) because they hadn't really warmed up to Thandir at all.

If I'm honest they were more 'putting up' with Thandir for my sake and _only_ for my sake. Fili still seemed grumpy whenever I disappeared off with the elf for hours but considering when I returned we'd spend the whole afternoon either messing about with Kili or wandering around the gardens he quickly got over it.

It wasn't that the dwarves had ever insinuated I _shouldn't _train with the elves it was more a common sense 'thing'. To me it seemed perfectly logical that when I first told them that I would be training with Thandir that would be accepted because he had insinuated I couldn't do it, since however, the fact that I continued training with him I thought _might, _just _might _offend my dwarven compadres.

_Yeah, who are you kidding Zai, you know they'd be offended. And most likely hurt._

* * *

><p>"So, how's it going with Golweneth?" I asked Thandir; after training one morning during the middle of the week.<p>

"URRGH!" He groaned throwing himself down onto the grass face first in a huff.

I sat down with my back to a huge evergreen and watched him for a few seconds, when he didn't stir; I seriously considered checking his pulse.

"Thandir."

Absolutely nothing.

I crawled forwards and lifted up his arm feeling my way down his wrist. I let out the deep breath I hadn't even realised I'd been holding when I felt its' steady beat.

"Wh-ay-di-n?" An extremely muffled voice came out of Thandirs' mouth.

I sat and puzzled for a second. "You know I don't speak elf-speak right?"

He lifted his head, "I said what are you doing?" His head dropped back to the floor. Then, after only a quick beat, popped up again. "And it's elvish not elf-speak. Sandarin to be precise." And fell back to the grass once more.

"Right…" I frowned and rubbed my hand across my forehead a couple of times. "I was checking your pulse…you know in case you'd like…died."

At this Thandir dragged himself back into a half sitting position, legs curled to the side, one arm supporting him as he stared at me. "You are joking right?"

"Er…no?" I replied unsure of whether I was meant to be or not.

He chuckled, "Your lack of knowledge about Middle Earth knows no bounds, what have you been doing with those dwarves all this time?"

"Surviving." I stated stiffly.

He sniffed, "Oh right, sorry."

I raised my eyebrows at him in a gesture for him to explain, Thandir caught on quick. Sitting up properly and crossing his legs he ran a hand through his already ruffled hair and his green eyes glinted in the sun.

"Elves are immortal."

_Oh that makes sense…wait…what now?_

"Come again."

"Elves are immortal, it means-"

"Yes I know what it means thanks!" I cut him off feeling rather frustrated, "So you just get to live like… forever?"

"Unless we die in battle or from battle wounds then… yeah pretty much."

I twisted some of my hair around my finger. "That's not fair."

He shrugged. "I can't believe you've been calling our language 'elf-speak' all this time."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I've been calling Khuzdul gobbledygook."

He chuckled. "I suppose it does… a bit."

A small smile slipped onto my face. "Good."

He sat up straighter. "That's a language I'd like to learn you know."

"Well, with all the time in the world apparently," I winked at him. "Why can't you?"

"Dwarves," He grumbled. "Are very secretive."

This time I really did grin, I could picture that quite well actually. We fell into silence once again. Until I spoke, "Hey Mr, don't avoid the question, how are you and Golweneth doing?"

"We'd _be_ doing fine, if it wasn't for her family," Taking a deep breath he huffed. "As it is _we're_ not _doing_ anything."

"Oh, well…shit man…I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "S'okay…How are you and your dwarf doing?"

I laughed a quiet, tinkling laugh, "Which one?"

Thandir gave me a hard look, "You know which one I mean, blonde, braided moustache, ring any bells?"

This time I shrugged. "We're doing just as we've always done."

"Well…" Thandir gazed out into the forest. "Have you told him about the competition yet?"

"Er…no."

Raising his eyebrows he looked back at me, "Have you told any of them about the competition yet?"

"Er…no."

He rolled his eyes, "Well are you going to?"

"Er…no." We both chorused at once. "Zalia," He implored, "You have to tell them."

_I don't know how I let you convince me into this crazy competition in the first place! _I thought exasperatedly, _Oh yeah I do. You called me chicken shit again._

I felt my face slip into a mask of panic. "And admit I've been training with you, no way, they'll have my guts for garters."

Thandir pursed his lips. "Well promise me if the opportunity comes up, you'll tell them."

I rolled my eyes at him, _Why does he keep pushing this?! It's his fault in the first place!_

"Zalia I'm serious." His tone desperate, he stared me down, "This competition is dangerous. They deserve to know."

"Sure, sure." I replied.

* * *

><p>That afternoon, I'm pretty sure; the very opportunity that Thandir had been going on about came up. And I, being the courageous person I am, totally took it… No actually I completely bottled it.<p>

"I hear we will be here for one of the elves momentous occasions." Thorin stated sarcastically.

"Oh that competition thing the young elves are taking part in tomorrow night?" Dori muttered scratching his head as we all sat around the living area in our quarters.

"I'd enter if there wasn't an age limit." Kili proclaimed. "I'd show those elves who's boss."

"Your elf pal's entering right?" Asked Dwalin, I didn't miss the biting tone as he said 'elf pal'.

_Come on Zai you can do it just say, 'yeah and I am too'._

"Right."

Dwalin grunted in response.

Fili stood up from the sofa he'd been resting on and held out his hand. "Come on Mimur," He jabbed towards the door with his head "let's go for a walk."

I squeaked "Okay!" and stood up clasping his large hand tightly in my small one.

_Well there goes that opportunity._

* * *

><p>"Do you like it here?" Asked Fili, as we strolled aimlessly through one of the elven gardens.<p>

I bit my lip, "Sure it's nice enough… not somewhere I'd want to live _forever_ though."

Fili stopped walking and used the hand he was holding of mine to swing me around to face him, "I know that tone."

"Just something interesting I found out today…" I said in an overly airy voice. "Elves are immortal and all that."

He closed his eyes and scrunched his face up for a second before letting out a deep puff of air. "I'm sorry Mimur, teaching you about Middle Earth hasn't exactly been high on our list of priorities." He glanced around and, spotting a bench, pulled me towards it, we sat down and honestly I wished we hadn't.

"Oww." I moaned as my bum thumped down. "This is the most _uncomfortable_ bench I've ever sat on."

He chuckled and pulled me onto his lap. "Is that better?"

_Breathe Zai, breathe._

"Much, thanks." I beamed up at him.

Fili smiled broadly. "Good." We sat staring into each other's eyes for a few moments before seemingly breaking out of a trance. "So…" Fili coughed wrapping his arms around my waist. "What did you want to know?"

"Just the basics," I replied and then slyly grinned, "But a bit more about dwarves I think."

Fili rolled his eyes and shook his head before resting his chin on top of my head, "Right well then…"

* * *

><p>After that conversation, I am pleased to say, I now know the basics of most of Middle Earth's inhabitants. However, there was still a lot he left out. For example, I noticed he didn't go into any deeper detail about dwarves and their braids than what he had told me a few nights ago.<p>

"So…" Thandir slipped up next to me as I was walking to dinner late on the night of the competition. "You told them right?"

My face it seemed, answered for me.

"Oh Zalia." He shook his head and placed it in his hands. "What are you planning to do when they find out? Because they _will_ find out." He stated imploringly.

I shrugged half-heartedly, "Haven't really thought about it yet." I replied.

Stopping, throwing his head back and looking upwards as if God was going to send him all the answers Thandir sighed. "And how do you plan on sneaking out to take part?"

"Easy." This, I had thought through. "I'm going to volunteer to be on watch duty for the first part of the night and Bilbo's going to volunteer for the second and _then_ when they fall asleep I'm going to leave to attend the competition and Bilbo's going to be on watch all night."

Pursing his lips tightly together he considered this a second. "You know, that might actually work. _Might_."

"Well…" I tried not to sound too concerned, "Let's hope so."

Thandir gave me a meaningful look before turning back into his usual fun-loving self. "And I can't believe Thorin has people 'on watch' still as if we're going to suddenly decide you've had too much food or wine and attack." Chuckling he patted me on the shoulder, "Well…meet you under the balcony later then?"

"You bet."

* * *

><p>After dinner we all headed up to our quarters, everyone was chatting a drinking merrily and as it was getting darker and darker I was becoming increasingly restless. It took a while but the dwarves soon started filtering off to bed. Fili, Kili and Bofur remained up awaiting Thorins' return, it didn't look like they were planning on going to bed any time soon and competition time was drawing ever closer.<p>

Fili and I were lounging on the sofa; he was laying on his side his back against the rear of the sofa as I curled up facing him. He had one strong arm stretched out underneath him and the other slung over my waist ensuring I wasn't going to roll off and fall on the floor; a fact I was very grateful for given my precarious position.

We were enjoying each other's company in silence, it was … nice, to have a few moments, just to lie quietly and forget all the dangers ahead of us, to just lie and chill.

"I love chillin'."

There came a snort from across the room.

Fili launched a pillow at Bofur and Kili, from the muffled thump; I gathered he hit his mark. "Shut up." Looking down at me he questioned "What's chillin'?"

A lazy smile crept on my face, "This, my dear dwarf, is chillin'." When he continued to look puzzled I sighed. "You know just doing nothing, chillin' out?"

He shot me a 'you're a total weirdo' look but nodded in confirmation anyway.

Softly and ever so carefully he asked. "What was your dad like?"

I closed my eyes for a few seconds letting my dad's image swim in front of my face. "He was tall, really tall but skinny and he had short blonde curly hair, like Bilbos' but more my colour. He wore these really dorky looking glasses; big, awful, round, thick things in the most disgusting puce green colour. He couldn't match clothing if he tried, always had odd socks on and clashing colours." I giggled, picturing my dad in his tie-dye shirt and denim dungarees splotched with bright orange polka dots he'd painted on himself. "He was warm though, the kind of person you just take too immediately. This bright glowing smile on his face all the time and a tiny button nose which his glasses always slipped off."

I grinned. "He used to be such a klutz and really not very intimidating at _all_. But when he was wrathful he had the ability to scare the devil himself. Most of the time though, he was just a goofy, funny, loving person. He used to tuck me into bed and tell me fairy tales he'd made up himself. That's what my dad did you see, he wrote children's books and illustrated them." I sighed. "When mum first left it really broke him and then he just bounced back. He was magic my dad, absolute magic."

Filis face was donning a warm smile by the time I finished. "He sounds amazing."

"He was…" I drifted into thought for a second. "What was your dad like?"

A wistful look appeared on his face and his eyes glinted. "He was great. I look like him, very much so, Kili looks more like our mother and uncle." I nodded enthusiastically waiting for him to continue. "He died, when I was very young so I don't remember much but what I do remember I treasure. He used to come in and tell me old dwarven tales in front of the fire and then, once Kili was born he'd play with Kili for a while before putting us both to bed. He didn't let mother do it. I asked him why once and he told me 'for a man to take a wife he has to treat her as his most precious treasure', and considering he was leaving his three best treasures alone all day when he was working he was going to spend all the time fawning over them he could at home." Fili yawned loudly.

I ran a hand up and down his arm, "Go to bed if you're tired."

"Yes Fili do." Thorin replied striding in, "I will want to speak with everyone early tomorrow morning." Fili dipped his head at his uncle and rose from the couch looking every bit as regal as his royal blood suggested he should. I rolled further onto the couch in a more secure position.

"See you in the morning Mimur."

"See you in the morning Fili."

We shared a quick grin as he headed off to bed.

"Bofur, get some sleep too. Kili you take first watch, Bilbo you take second." Thorin continued giving out his orders.

"I'll take first watch."

My heart was pounding as I spoke up, and Thorin eyed me sceptically. "Are you sure you can stay awake?"

"Oh ye of little faith!" I exclaimed. "Look it's the safest place I'm likely to be able to take watch right? So it'll be a good practice."

Compressing his lips into a tight white line Thorin considered this for a second. "Fine."

I felt the relief flood through me as he headed out with Bofur.

"I'll stay up with you." Kili yawned from across the room. "It was meant to be my watch, I don't mind."

"Okay… Kili what's Mimur mean?"

"Oh it means … _hey!_ Wait you can't trick me when I'm tired."

I grinned slyly at him. "I think maybe it's someone's bedtime."

As Kili left I looked anxiously to Bilbo, "Go." He said. "I'll cover for you although I think this is an _awful_ idea."

"Thanks!" I dropped a kiss on his cheek as I grabbed my ordinary clothes, (Golweneth had _finally_ returned them) and ran out onto the balcony. "Thandir!" I hissed, "Heads up!" Dropping my bag, I then lowered myself slowly over the side.

"Good luck!" Bilbo whispered.

"Thanks!"

* * *

><p>"I'm sure you never told me there were wargs involved." I muttered to Thandir as we sat in the top of one of the trees in the arena. It was pitch black for us but I knew the elves could see everyone somehow, that was the point of them watching after all.<p>

"I told you it was going to be dangerous." He shot back. "Where's the challenge to our abilities otherwise?"

Rolling my eyes at him I countered, "Alright oh wise one, tell me what do we do now?"

Thandir huffed. "We're meant to be resourceful, there will be a number of different creatures within the arena as well as elves who want to stop us reaching our goal which is," He pointed out a tree trunk which was had been shaped to look like a telephone pole. "Over there. The elves stop us by capturing us or defeating us while sword fighting or in hand to hand combat."

That makes sense. "Why over there?" I asked.

His tongue shot quickly out of his mouth wetting his lips. "When we get there, there will be loads of different objects and we have to try and climb all the way up to the top and grab the jewel. We can use any of the objects for help we want. No one's ever completed this competition before, and it's fated only one ever will."

I sighed completely exasperated. _This whole thing is going to be for nothing then!_ "So we're doing this for nothing?"

"No." Thandir snapped. "One of us could be the person that completes the course and anyway, whoever's the last competitor standing wins a position among our nobility."

_Ahh…I get it now. _

I grinned, "So this is about Golweneth then?"

Outwardly irritated with himself, Thandir nodded. "But we'll deal with who's going to be last man standing when it comes to it later."

I smiled, "Sure we will." The warg jumped at the bottom of the tree, snapping away and growling something fierce. "If we're not dog food by then."

* * *

><p>Lord Elrond considered dwarves to be proud beings and it troubled him greatly to find they were not out supporting one of their own, especially considering the dangers of this competition. People had died before! Not often, but still...After the first hour, he decided he simply must find out why they decided not to come down and support Lady Zalia.<p>

Banging deafeningly on the door, he was surprised when Bilbo answered.

"L…l…lord Elrond." The hobbit greeted.

"Bilbo Baggins." Elrond replied. Just as he was about to ask to speak with the dwarven 'king under the mountain' the man himself, followed by twelve other sleepy looking dwarves, came striding into the room.

"Lord Elrond, what is the meaning of this?!" Thorin demanded angrily.

Elrond's eyebrows rose significantly, "I was just wondering where you all were."

Thorin frowned and his face began to take on an ugly puce shade. "We were sleeping! Where else would we be?!"

"Well…" Elrond tried not to be offended by the dwarf's brash mannerisms. "I thought at least some of you would be out supporting Zalia."

Looking puzzled now the dwarves narrowed their eyes at Lord Elrond. "With what?" Asked Fili suspiciously.

"Well…"

"NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOTHING! A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING IS ALL!" The hobbit quickly cut in across Lord Elrond who 'tutted'.

"What is going on?" Kili cut in loudly. "Supporting her with what?"

"Not with what…" Elrond continued as the dwarf with the axe lodged in his skull put a hand over the hobbits mouth, preventing another outburst. "In what, and to answer your question. In the competition of course, it's really very dangerous and I would have thought you'd have wanted to be able to view it if you even let her enter at all!"

When the mad dash to put clothes back on began with the dwarves all shouting angrily in Khuzdul to each other, Elrond realised that perhaps he had made a terrible mistake. Perhaps they didn't know.

* * *

><p>By the second hour of this blasted competition I was really beginning to question my sanity. <em>This was a bad idea. I should have never of agreed to join Thandir. <em>I glanced over at Thandir who was happily chatting away to a boulder on our little ledge. _I certainly shouldn't have agreed. _

"Thandir, that boulder cannot understand you!" I sounded half-exasperated and half-pleading.

Trudging over to me, he replied. "I thought he was a terrible conversationalist anyway."

We had managed to escape the warg, all-be-it from acting like Tarzan and jumping from tree to tree, and now we were safely back on the ground. Thandir had found a clue, (which he then informed me were riddles left around with directions towards weapons and food hidden in them), and that had led us to our ledge. Unfortunately the only thing we'd discovered so far was the food and wine. Neither of us was hungry so we decided to leave that, but the wine bottle Thandir had discarded an hour ago when he finished it. He had since spent his time conversing with rocks while I searched for weapons.

Thandir fell over with a 'whoops' and landed on his back laughing merrily away. I rolled my eyes at him "I thought elves were meant to be able to hold their liquor! Honestly, don't you know _not_ to drink strange things you find in dangerous places?!"

"Elves…" He announced pointing his arm up at the sky. "Can hold their liquor thank you very much!" With a huff he crossed his arms over his head.

"Looks that way." I replied dryly.

Thandir ruffled his black hair. "I'm still in my yoofidge. You can't blame me!"

"Yoofidge." I informed him angrily, "Is not a word!"

As I walked past him trying to look for weapons still, he yanked me down and I fell on top of him with a yelp.

"I wuv you ZaiZai."

I struggled to try and get myself out of his grasp, but it was surprisingly tight for a drunk person. "Don't ever call me that again."

"But ZaiZai, I do. You're helping me… no one else wanted to help me." He frowned. "It's not very kind of them, but it's kind of you and you're so adorable!"

I finally managed to rid myself of him and stand up only to find him grab my ankle so I went toppling over again, landing hard on my back.

"You. Are. A. Dick." I growled." You _tricked_ me into this dangerous competition as if it was something little and not at all dangerous and now you're telling me it only happens once every four hundred years, it's a massive deal and all sorts of things will be out to get us. Not to mention that little issue where I could die!" I huffed. "Oh and you want my help."

He smiled at me in a very dizzy looking way as he stood up. "I know!" He announced falling on top of me wrapping his arms around me in locking me in place against him. "And that's why I love you!" Then to my utter disgust he placed a large, foul, sloppy kiss on my mouth with an exaggerated 'MWAH!' I blinked once and then shoved him with all my might, he rolled off me over the edge of the ledge and hit the ground with a thud.

"You _kissed _me! Why would you do that?!" I exclaimed, leaning over the edge of the cliff I saw I wasn't getting an answer any time soon. "And now you've passed out. Just fuckin' excellent."

* * *

><p>From Lord Elronds' perspective the dwarves were not at all pleased to find out Zalia had entered the competition without even a word to them about it. And from what they just saw they were looking less impressed by the second. The blonde one, (Fili was it?), punched the arena wall hard as he watched on the portals the wizard Gandalf had been kind enough to set up for everyone.<p>

* * *

><p>Lying on my back on a ledge for an hour was neither very productive nor very safe, but at least it gave me time to think. Thandir getting drunk had not been on my agenda, neither had his sloppy present been. An image of Fili flickered into my head and I suddenly felt very guilty about that. More so when images of the others followed, I should have told them but at least they weren't seeing everything going on. They'd blow their lids at Thandir, 'assaulting' a lady and at me for even being here in the first place. Not that I thought Thandir had technically assaulted me, it was a drunken mistake but still, best they didn't have anything else to hate him for.<p>

A padding came onto the edge of the ledge and I looked up, seeing a warg walking around wasn't what I needed right now.

Frantically I searched with my eyes for the weapons and after all this time I found them, they were very well hidden in a small wall cavity. I had been lucky enough to be lying in the right position to see it. As stealthily as I could, I snuck over to the wall cavity and retrieved a bow and arrows and two elvish swords.

Tip-toeing back to Thandir I carefully dropped off the ledge as quietly as I could and poked him. "Thandir, wake up." He didn't stir, "Thandir wake up we need to go." I hissed.

"WHAT?!" He groaned loudly.

"Shssshhh!"

It was too late, the warg had heard us and as I turned I saw it launching itself off the ledge, I reacted on instinct letting every bit of training I had done to this point take over. Ducking out of the way and rolling to the right I bounced back up onto my feet and slashed at the warg with one sword whist stabbing forward with the other just as it leaped at me again. The wargs claws caught me on the shoulder and I hissed in pain as I stuck the swords further in. With a shudder the warg died and I yanked the swords out.

Thandir had finally stumbled to his feet. "Zalia are you alright?"

"Do I look like I'm alright?!" I grimaced pushing my hand onto the wound which was bleeding but seemed largely superficial since I could move everything except with the obvious burning of pulling on the cuts.

Wincing at my tone, Thandir ripped a portion of his shirt off and tied it around my shoulder.

"This is your fault you know?" I informed him. "Getting drunk and then passing out, waking up loudly and everything else."

Gulping he looked at me, he seemed very downcast. "I know, I'm sorry."

I sighed. "Fine, but there's still a few things I will _want_ to talk about when we get out of this."

* * *

><p><strong>So there will at least be one more Rivendell chapterpart of a chapter before they're off again. **

**I hoped you liked it. Let me know what you think! **

**Rue**


	13. Dead Elf Walking

"Okay well we're not getting down there."

Thandir was stating the obvious. After our fight with the warg everything had gone relatively smoothly up until now. We'd scaled a few rocks, swum through a large lake, (_that_ had really hurt my shoulder), and now we were stood at the edge of a massive cliff. The cliff side was utterly smooth, smooth as a baby's bottom in fact. There was no way we were going to be able to climb down, which was infuriating because we could see where we needed to go. In fact the large pole was towering above us; and when we looked down we could see a wooden fence created by putting other round pole shaped wood around it in a circle, with just a small gap for entry.

I looked around, there was really nowhere else to go that led in the right direction, so I guessed we had to head off course slightly.

_We came from the right so maybe if we go left…_

I began walking left across the top of the cliff, it was heading back into the forest but by keeping the cliff edge right next to us we could walk along it and not get lost.

Thandir frowned as he followed me. "Where are we going?"

"Well…" I stopped and turned to face him to explain. "If we use the cliff edge as a guide we won't get lost, and we're walking in the only direction we haven't been yet. There must be some way down."

He bobbed his head as he thought about this, his eyes coming to rest on my shoulder. "How's your shoulder?" He queried.

"Stings." I replied shortly as he examined it, poking and prodding away. "And that's not exactly helping!" I spoke through clenched teeth.

"Oh, sorry." Looking oddly sheepish he continued. "Well come on then."

Shaking my head at his oddities I turned and began walking along the cliff edge again. "Just don't let me fall."

"I'll try not to." He grinned.

_Oh how very different that is from Filis' never. What I wouldn't give to be in this with him and Kili right now…._

* * *

><p>Lord Elrond watched the dwarves avidly. None of them had taken their eyes off the portals showing Thandir and Zalia since they had arrived and it seemed they didn't intend too. Almost as if her safety depended on their watching.<p>

"Thorin." Elrond spoke addressing the dwarven leader. "We can offer our healing service when Zalia comes out, it is the least I can do."

Thorin considered this offer for a second and looked over at Oin their resident healer. "It would be an honour to witness," Oin stated. "The skill of the elves in this area is unparalleled."

Thorin nodded, "Then it is decided."

"Excellent, I will ensure our best healers are on standby."

* * *

><p>Kili glanced at his brother, whose eyes were glued to the portal, staring at Zalia as if his life depended on it. Frowning Kili pursed his lips, it was likely Fili had found his one in Zalia. If Kili knew his brother, which he believed he did, he'd never acted like this before and not for lack of interest in woman either. Yes, Kili was sure; it seemed odd to even think of one without the other now. Contemplatively running his tongue over his lips, he glanced at Bofur.<p>

Bofur it seemed was thinking the same thing, if the look he gave Kili was any indication to go by. Fili had talked to Bofur and Kili over the course of the journey about Zalia. They were Filis' words Bofur had recited when Zalia asked if she was pretty and it was Kili who had told Fili to calm down in respect of her friendship with the elf. It was he who had advised his brother to let her get on with it and just show her how he felt about her. The decision not to tell Fili about Zalia proclaiming her disinterest in the elf as a suitor weighed heavily on him, perhaps if he'd told Fili things would be different.

"How long are they going to be?" Kili asked Lord Elrond, trying to take some of the worry off of his brothers' face.

"Not long." Elrond replied. "They are close and heading in the right direction, the others in the competition failed at the first or second warg. Zalia is a very smart girl, I doubt even Thandir would have got this far without her, you've taught her well."

As Kili bowed his head in thanks he noticed the rest of the dwarves staring at Fili. It seemed perhaps; even those who Fili had not talked to recognised the signs. It was highly possible his brother had found his one and Kili was lucky enough to consider her one of his best friends.

He looked down at the portal to see Zalia slowing down as the forest began to thin once more. Best friend or not, Kili thought, we'll be having a little chat about dwarves and their attitude towards love and courtship soon, he would not be letting anyone hurt his brother. Just as he would not be letting this slip away from Zalia, not because of one _stupid_ elf. Shaking himself from his thoughts Kili caught Thorins' gaze. As they nodded at each other it was clear they both understood; Fili and Zalia seemed made for each other and they were perfectly happy with that. What they were not fond of at all, was that damn elf.

* * *

><p>"Why are we slowing down?"<p>

"Would you be quiet?!" I hissed.

Thandir looked affronted, and I sighed lightly running my hand over my hair and squeezing it a bit in random places. I was trying in vain to dispel the tension headache which had come over me.

Glancing at Thandir and his hurt face, I shut my eyes for a second, then gaining control of my temper I explained calmly. "The forest is thinning, we don't know what could be through there, and the quieter we are the safer we are. If there _is_ anything through there, we don't want it to hear us."

_Just like those trolls really..._

His green eyes glinting Thandir gave me a short nod and we continued forwards. When I came to the edge of the trees I thought I might just break out sobbing. It was quite clear where we had to go, straight into that door in the rock.

"Look, that's where we need to be!" Thandir exclaimed in hushed tones pointing at the door.

_Yes, we just have to get through 6 very angry looking wargs to do it._

He ran a hand nervously through his hair, "We just need to get through those wargs first."

I felt my shoulder prickle at the thought and rubbed it absent-mindedly. "Sure, should be a piece of cake. Like taking candy from a baby." My sarcastic tone was lost on the elf.

"Really," He faced me looking like an excitable child. "How?"

I sighed deeply trying my hardest not to shout at him. _Fili would have understood my sarcastic response to fear. _Shaking my head I tried to rid myself of the guilt ridden thoughts; they would do nothing but distract me from the task ahead.

"That." I informed Thandir in a low irritated voice. "Was sarcasm."

He moped for a second and then all of a sudden beamed. Yanking the bow off his back he strung an arrow and took aim.

"Thandir no!"

It was too late, he let the arrow fly and had successfully taken down one warg, however, he'd also alerted the other five to our position.

_They do not look happy._

"Run!" I yelled bounding out of the cover of the trees and dodging the wargs best I could. I swung my sword around desperately as I tried to duck and weave my way towards the door.

It was on a slight incline and Thandir managed to bound in easily with his extra height, I however, did not have that luxury. Spinning rapidly away from a warg who had launched itself at me I jumped grabbing desperately at the lowest tree branch on the nearest tree to the door. Yanking myself up I bounded off the branch and smacked down on the ledge outside the door, rolling in quite painfully just as the wargs snapped the branch with their teeth.

"CLOSE THE DOOR!" I yelped as the wargs loped towards the ledge.

Thandir managed to swing the door shut with a bang just before the wargs reached it. The sound of them hitting the stone echoed through the chamber.

"Arrrgh!" I moaned gripping my shoulder tightly which had started to bleed again when I smacked onto the floor.

Grinding my teeth I succeeded in getting to my feet and surveying the chamber we were now in. The burning torches held in brackets lit the room in a slightly eerie way.

Thandir looked quite alarmed. "Where now?" He asked.

I surveyed the room again and found no indication of another door, not in plain sight at least.

"There must be another door." I muttered.

Raising his eyebrows Thandir replied… "Where?"

I sat down against the wall still gripping my shoulder; we could start looking for the door in a moment. "I don't know."

"Then how do you know there is one?"

"Dwarven doors are invisible when closed…." I muttered thinking back to the day in Bilbos' house. "And it just makes sense."

Thandir shook his head wildly in frustration. "Whose excellent idea was that?!"

"It makes sense for keeping people out!" I shot back repeating Gloins' words from all that time ago.

Thandir practically growled. "Not helpful! Not helpful at all!"

I let him storm around the chamber for a while and eventually he calmed down, taking himself dead across from me and sitting with his back against the opposite wall.

"I'm sorry, you know." His voice was low and serious. "About all this."

"I know." I exhaled thinking, "You shouldn't have kissed me. Who do you think you are? You can't just go around kissing people against their will because you're drunk! You need to have some control."

He nodded looking very downcast indeed.

"And as for tricking me into this competition. Well, I want to be angry at you, I really do but, it's karma really. I shouldn't have carried on training with you and I should have told them about this competition." I felt tears pricking at my eyes. "I'm just so, _stupid._" I hissed as I wiped them angrily away.

Thandir surveyed me for a minute and then breathed out heavily. "I wish I'd never got you into this." He muttered before raising his voice and continuing. "Look I'm not saying they won't be angry with you if they find out, because they will be…"

"And they have every right to be!" I cut across him exclaiming passionately.

"Right, now let me finish woman! _BUT_ they love you, and they will forgive you…" He thought about this for a second. "Eventually."

I sniffed, reigning in my emotions and stood up. "I will get to the end of this with you, because the only other way out is to get more injured and I don't plan on doing that. Let's find this damn door."

* * *

><p>After twenty minutes of searching Thandir was becoming frustrated. "How am I meant to know what to look for!"<p>

I glanced up at him and then it hit me. _If this is meant to be a dwarven door it won't be his height it'll be…_

"Thandir, look around at," I put my hand out to the place I would expect a doorknob to be. "This level."

Thandir looked over at me and then his face slowly filled with the happiest expression I'd seen on it in a while. "Zalia you genius!" He hurried to the side of the wall next to me, "you go in one direction, I'll go in the other."

The process was slow, we often pulled and pushed at random bits of rock and I was just giving up hope when my hand pushed against the next bit and there was a sudden grinding noise. "Thandir come help!"

My voice was rife with excitement as I pushed and quite quickly Thandir was pushing with me, using his shoulders to barge the door open. With an almighty lurch the door sprang open and nearly had Thrandir and I falling over on our faces. It took us a couple of seconds to right ourselves.

When we did it was clear that this was near the end, there was a ramp leading all the way down to the grass and then an open stretch until you reached the entrance to the pole.

_Once we get past that fence, we're safe._

It was this thought that had me dragging Thandir back as he tried to take off. "What now?!" He groaned.

"Doesn't this all seem…" My eyes darted round suspiciously and I whispered in a stiff voice. "A bit easy to you."

Green eyes glinting he ran a hand through his black hair and glanced around. "Maybe…"

"We haven't met the elves yet." I muttered.

Understanding dawned on his face. "An ambush, you think?"

I grimaced, "I think it's a possibility."

Slowly, very slowly, weapons drawn we walked down the ramp and began to inch into the open area. It wasn't until we were about half way across that it happened.

Elves jumped out from everywhere and we were forced back to back, fighting off attacks from all directions. Dwarfs voices flitted through my head shouting advice and I moved with a speed I'd only discovered thanks to Thandir. I realised quickly that as soon as you hit them somewhere they would be 'dead' they dropped to the floor and didn't bother you again. It was a fast paced thirty minutes but between us we managed to dispatch the elves. Thandir made it through the gate and then an elf landed heavily in front of me. This elf I recognised. It was Golweneths brother.

"I will be damned if I'm letting a dwarf get to the finish."

I glared at him, "Well how very racist of you."

Without warning he swung his sword down heavily and I shot mine up to protect me, my shoulder screamed in pain at the impact and the effort of keeping it up. The harder he pushed down the more I felt panic rising within me. My knees shook and my arm seemed as if it was about to buckle. Then a small thwack sound was heard and the elf lowered his sword.

"You're dead." Thandir stated from the safety of the circle with his bow still out, while Golweneths brother looked at him menacingly. "Come on Zai."

I grinned cheekily at the elf as I skipped round him and into the fenced off area. "Well mate." I looked up at Thandir. "We made it."

Thandir took his time to examine every object in the vicinity; we weren't allowed to help each other out now apparently so I just watched him. Finally he picked up a set of thick knives, he held them tightly in his hands and just before he tried to climb the pole he looked at me. "If I fall you will have a go won't you?"

I shrugged in response.

"You can't come all this way for nothing." He continued. "And I wouldn't have made it without you."

Clicking my tongue I took a deep breath. "Sure I will."

Grinning Thandir began to climb. I sat looking around for ten minutes; my eyes fell on the weighted chains. "That's what I'd use." I muttered to myself. "Just like in Mulan."

As I got up and began to inspect the weighted chains, wrapping them around my hands I heard a crashing sound. Thandir it appeared had fallen. I turned to see him groaning on the floor, holding his head tightly.

I winced. "I'm sorry mate."

He stood still rubbing his head. "No problem, go on, your turn."

Looking up at the large pole with a gulp, I swung my arms with force making the chains cross at the back and tugged experimentally. They held. I jerked my arms up and therefore the chains too and placed my feet on the trunk leaning outwards.

Thandir nodded at me. "Good luck."

I gave him a swift nod back and continued with my pattern, jerk the arms and then walk a few steps, until I could no longer hear anything.

_Don't look down. _I told myself. _Just don't look down. _

It seemed to take forever, my muscles ached and my lungs were burning. My shoulder felt like I was ripping it open but eventually I could see the top of the pole. The sun had begun to rise and I realised just how long I'd been climbing for.

_No way, no freaking way._ I thought continuing to climb up my body protesting with every movement. Finally, I saw the jewel. _How do I get it?_ I asked myself as I saw it glint in the early morning sunshine. Frowning I swung the weights up once more and yanked myself up after them. Stretching with all my might I managed to grasp the jewel in my left hand, consequently also the side with the bad shoulder. It stung to stretch for it, but I'd done it. Loosening the weights so I could slide down the pole, I thought to myself, take that elves.

* * *

><p>As I reached the bottom and unhooked the weights from around my arms and hands Thandir grabbed me and spun me around. "Zalia you did it! You really did it! That was amazing!"<p>

I grinned at him, "It was quite a feat indeed." Lord Elrond said coming into the fenced area and leading us out of the arena, "You have fulfilled one of our longest standing prophecies today."

I couldn't really find the words to reply to that so I just looked at him, "Here." He said stopping at a table just outside the arena. "You're prize."

"Oh no, no, no, I don't want anything. Honestly." It didn't feel right to take something meant for an elf.

Lord Elrond grinned at me. "This sword was forged by an incredible dwarf master, embedded with elven magic and given to us to present to the person who collected that jewel, which slots in here." He indicated a small space on the hilt. "This sword was made for you."

I gulped as he handed it to me and I slipped the small blue stone into its spot on the hilt and put the sword in the matching scabbard, securing it around my waist.

"Not much is known about its properties but it is yours to discover now. Then of course there is the elven nobility position."

"Give it to him." I indicated Thandir. "I don't have any use for it and without meaning to offend I don't think I'd want it if I did. Plus, I wouldn't have even been in this competition if it wasn't for him."

Lord Elrond nodded. "Very well, now I need to apologise."

I frowned at him in complete confusion. "For what?"

Thandir gulped and I turned round to see thirteen very pissed off looking dwarves and a sheepish hobbit stood not too far away from us.

"Well, I'm up shit creek without a paddle." I muttered.

"Zai I-"

"ZALIA!" Thorin yelled and he pointed forcefully next to Fili and just in front of Kili.

"I have to go." I murmured as I took the walk of shame over to the spot Thorin pointed at, my heart pounding against my ribcage.

I wanted to make a joke of some kind, I really did but the absolute seriousness and disappointment radiating from them all stopped me. Bilbo gave me a guilty look and I shook my head at him.

_This is entirely my fault. _

Fili grabbed hold of me the minute I was in reach and tugged the bandage off my shoulder. He growled at the damage squeezing a bit tightly and I winced. Pushing me behind him Kili grasped my good shoulder and Fili took a step towards Thandir.

"Fili…"

"Don't Zalia." He spun and glared at me a hard look on his face. "Just don't."

It hurt more than I'd ever imagined it would to hear him call me Zalia and not Mimur. My sharp intake of breath must have let Kili know this because he squeezed my shoulder sympathetically as I stood feeling like I'd been punched in the gut.

Fili strode over to Thandir, pulled his arm back and punched him right in the face. How he reached his face I don't know but I heard a deafening crack and Thandir was knocked off his feet. Jumping on top of him in a terrifyingly controlled way Fili beat at Thandir for a good ten minutes and no one did anything to stop him. Not even Thandir.

"I deserved that." He said when Fili climbed up from him breathing heavily.

"Damn right you did!" Fili snapped back in the most livid tone I'd ever heard him use. He was fuming. "And it's only out of respect and care for her…" He forcefully poked his finger back at me, "That I'm not beating you within an inch of your life." He turned back to Thandir, "But if I ever see you _anywhere_ near her again, you are a dead elf walking. Do you understand me?!"

Thandir nodded and Fili spun back around and marched right back to us. I gulped when he looked down at me. "Do you understand me?" He asked in a low, petrifying voice.

"Yes." I whispered.

His eyes roamed over my face for a few seconds and he nodded, letting out a long breath and looked at Oin.

Oin took my hand and pulled me away in the direction of some elves I'd never seen before. "Come on lassie. Let's get that shoulder fixed."

* * *

><p><strong>So that's the end of the competition. <strong>

**Looks like Zai's got a lot of making up to do!**

**They should be leaving Rivendell next chapter. **

**Hope you liked it.**

**Rue**


	14. Brooding and Battles

I expected them to shout at me. Honestly, I did. I expected them to rant and rave and yell and bellow and screech and roar and holler until they had absolutely no more they could shout at me. What actually happened, in my opinion, was ten times worse.

When I arrived back at our guest quarters with Oin after having my shoulder fixed, and yes I do mean fixed, (the elves said it'd be bruised for a while and ache but the majority of the damage was gone), I found no raised voices. No voices whatsoever in fact. Nobody talked to me.

I had never felt so ashamed in my life; I felt hot and embarrassed and riddled with guilt. What's worse than that is knowing I deserved it. I could have probably started up a conversation with Bibo, but I didn't because I knew I deserved this treatment. I knew I was entirely in the wrong.

I swallowed and walked in keeping my eyes trained firmly on my feet, planning to just go in my room and let them be angry, when I had to stop. There was a large pair of brown boots in front of me and with trepidation I looked up. Fili stood there, still looking grim and pissed-off, and brought his hand up ghosting it over my shoulder.

"It's alright laddie. It'll be bruised for a while and achy but the elves have fixed it. It was an honour to witness their healing capabilities." Oin told him.

Fili gave Oin a stiff nod and flicked his eyes back onto me. I wanted to apologise but I didn't think anything I could say would be good enough, especially not at the moment. So with reluctance I cast my eyes back down onto his chest. His hand gripped my wrist and he led me over to the sofa.

Plopping down next to Kili he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. I lent my head on his shoulder and curled my legs up still feeling guilty and ashamed. It was the most awful feeling in the world, I wasn't used to it. People caring about me had been a foreign concept since my father died and so; although logically I knew this would happen I don't think I'd ever really put much stock in it. Now I had to suffer through the consequences.

"Balin and I will be going to have the map looked at later by Lord Elrond. The moon we need is finally upon us." Thorin announced. "Everybody must be ready to leave at short notice. I do not believe they will approve of our quest."

The dwarves at this announcement began to check that everything was ready to go. Fili and I were left alone on the couch and I struggled to find the words I wanted to say. Tilting my head to look up at him I could see his face still held the harsh, serious look that seemed so foreign there.

I swallowed nervously and my voice came out in a muted whisper. "I'm sorry." The stunning sea blue emotional eyes with flecks of green in I'd come to know so well fell onto my face and studied me carefully. "I'm really, really sorry." My voice cracked slightly. "I wish I knew what I could do to make it up to you, but I don't. I promise I will though. If it takes me until the end of forever I will make it up to you."

A muscle in Filis' jaw twitched under his beard as I spoke, and he sighed as he scrutinized me, his tongue darted out wetting his lips. When I realised he wasn't going to answer me I laid my head back down on his chest, listening to his deep breathing and steady heartbeat.

* * *

><p>Everyone went to bed early that night, except Thorin, Balin and Bilbo, and no one was in high spirits. I lay awake in the darkness trying to think of everything I could do to fix the situation I now found myself in with the dwarves. I couldn't think of anything, even if I promised to never do anything like this again it wouldn't take back what had already been done, and I'm sorry just wasn't going to cut it.<p>

_Think Zai think, there must be something…_

I was yanked out of my thoughts when I heard a slight knocking on the door, _who would be knocking at my door at this time of night?_ Shrugging I got up, padded to the door and swung it open.

When I saw Thandir standing there, I nearly had a heart attack.

"No, No, No!" I exclaimed in a hiss. "You can't be here." With every word I was hurriedly shoving him back. "You need to leave now."

Ruffling his hair with one hand a lazy grin on his face he said, "Zai, chill out."

I stopped pushing for a second, we were now stood in the centre of the main room but I was stunned by his use of one of my modern phrases.

"No-one knows I'm here, I just had to tell you." It was then I noticed the excitement in his eyes. "Golweneth and I are a go! And it's all thanks to you, I didn't exactly show the best side of myself in the competition but now I've got the nobility and because I protected you from her brother, her father thinks I'm great!"

I stuttered… "Th…that's great Thandir."

He frowned slightly. "I take it things aren't going so well for you."

"They're not even talking to me." It was then I finally _really_ looked at him. "God Thandir! Why didn't you get your face fixed?!"

His eye socket looked out of place, his nose was clearly broken, his jaw swollen and he was black and blue all over where there wasn't any cuts that is, those were still bright red.

He shrugged. "I deserved it" Shuddering and grabbing his side he said, "And the ribs."

I scowled slightly. "Thandir I'm sorry I…"

"No I'm sorry. I wanted to come and thank you for everything you did and I have. I'm sorry about kissing you and I'm sorry for _every_ bit of trouble I've got you in."

"It's okay." I replied in a low voice. He looked as if he was about to argue so I said, "No really. It is. It's as much my fault as yours. I don't know why but I didn't _really_ think they'd care. Logically I know I should have but I didn't."

He placed an understanding hand on my shoulder and breathed out heavily. "I hope everything works out for you and your dwarf Zai, I really do."

I gave him a weak smile, "Me too."

"So," He huffed and looked around in a sort of nonchalant way. "This is goodbye then."

I grinned. "Yep, I don't think we're going to be here much longer and you really need to go." I said shoving him again.

"Zai I…"

"I think she said you need to leave." My head snapped to the side and I was relieved to see Bofur standing there. All-be-it a very angry looking Bofur.

Thandir held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "All right man, I'm going. I just want to…"

Bofur stepped forwards, moving me gently out of the way and glared at Thandir, "Just nothing, go before I call Fili again. He was dead serious earlier you know."

Thandir gulped.

"You have three seconds, I've stood and let you say your piece and now it's time to leave." I'd never seen such a hard look on Bofurs' face before.

Nodding at Bofur and giving me a wave, Thandir took off over the edge of the balcony.

"And as for you." Bofur turned to me. "What you did out there today, and what you did for that elf was amazing. But you hurt every single one of us in the process. How could you think we wouldn't care?"

I shuffled nervously looking down at my feet. "I just, no one has, since my dad and it's just weird for me."

Bofur shook his head angrily. "I thought we'd made it perfectly clear to you how much you mean to us, and perfectly clear how much we felt the need to protect you." He pushed my chin up so I was looking him in the face. "Your answer is to enter a dangerous competition, tricked or not Zai, it's not exactly the best way to go about things."

"I know." I said and to my horror my voice shook and I could feel tears sliding down my face. "And I don't have any clue how to make it right."

Bofur sighed deeply and pulled me into a hug. "It's alright. Shhh, now. Just give everyone some time." He said rubbing my back. "It'll be fine."

We stood like this, Bofur muttering encouraging words in my ear for about five minutes. I sniffed as I pulled back from him.

"Get some rest Zai."

* * *

><p>The next morning Thorin's call to leave came. Luckily for all of us it was after breakfast. We traipsed up the sides of the rocky cliffs around Rivendell, everyone carrying something, although mine was only my sword and then bedroll and blanket in a pack. I was walking behind Kili and in front of Fili, I didn't think they were planning on letting me out of their sight for a while.<p>

"Everyone be on your guard!" Thorin said as we walked. "We are about to step over the edge of the wild, Balin, you know these paths lead on."

I strode past Bilbo who had stopped to look back on Rivendell and past Thorin as he said "Master Baggins, I suggest you keep up." In a harsh tone.

_I think that may be a little my fault_ I thought with a wince. _Thorin never thought much of Bilbo anyway and now he's covered for me…_

The paths we walked were rocky and sloppy and downright terrifying. They weren't the cleanly made paths I'd got used to in Rivendell, we were heading back out and by god did I know it.

I couldn't help but notice that Gandalf hadn't come with us, which worried me slightly but I didn't dare mention it. I was on thin ice as it was, anything I could say to upset Thorin and the others now could be disastrous for me.

For days we trekked over hilltops which were high, hard and had very sparse grass on our way to the mountains.

One day when we stopped for lunch I plucked up the courage to talk to everyone. "I am sorry you know." I announced. I didn't speak loudly but I didn't need too. The chatter stopped immediately, it was the first time I'd spoken in days. "I don't know what you expect me to do to make it up to all of you, but I am sorry. I didn't expect to hurt any of you like that. I didn't really think it would matter, not once it was over and done. And I'm sorry that I was wrong, and I didn't have the common courtesy to ask you, but it _is _done now and I can't say any more than sorry."

With my piece said I got up and walked a little way off to sit and eat. Thorin came over and sat next to me, "You hurt everyone in ways you can't even imagine."

I gulped and nodded. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know.

"But I think I know why. When you've been on your own awhile it's hard to take others feelings into account. They'll come to see that." I stared at him shocked. Thorin was the last person I expected to see my point of view.

"When I first met you, I was a bit like that. Until I understood your story better, and that is why I know they will come to see that. But even when they begin talking to you again… they may have a way to go before they understand." With that he got up and left me to my thoughts.

I'd taken to eating and sleeping a little away from the others after that and one night, just before we reached the mountains, when I think the general consensus was that I was asleep I heard Bofur speaking to the others around the fire.

"We can't keep this up lads." He said, "She's apologised and I think she understands, I really think she does. Perhaps not properly but…"

"We don't understand her view on it properly either." Balin finished.

Dwalin's gruff voice sounded next. "I think she's learnt her lesson."

"Aye," Gloin grumbled. "I think so too."

The others seemed quick to agree and the next minute I felt a large weight land on top of me.

"Oh my god!" I gasped, "What the actual fuck?!"

It was Kili's laugh that answered me from above.

"Get off me you dork!" I moaned pushing him out of the way. "What do you want?!"

The dwarves around the fire chuckled.

"We were just wondering when you were going to show us that sword lassie." Dwalin called and I felt a grin stretch widely across my face.

Grabbing the sword I leapt up and ran over to the fire. Depositing the sword in Dwalins' hands I was suddenly tugged down into Filis' lap.

"I've totally missed you guys, even more than I miss Dr Pepper and I miss DP a lot!" I informed them.

Ori grinned at me. "And what is this Dr Pepper?" He asked getting out his notebook and quill.

"It's a really awesome fizzy drink." I told him nodding. "My love for it is kinda like Dori and his tea."

Dori grinned at me as Fili's voice ghosted across my ear. "I should hope you've missed us a bit more than a drink Mimur." I felt like I could explode from jubilation.

* * *

><p>I spent the next few days still slightly off with everyone, it wasn't that I meant to be or they meant to be but I think this thing was going to hang over us for a while. It took us a few more days still but eventually we were scaling the mountains. When I write scaling the mountains I'm well aware that you could think this had become a relatively easy task. Perhaps, in comparison to the rest of our journey this bit was going to be easy. Let me assure you it was not.<p>

A thunderstorm raged around us as we walked up the steep mountain paths, it was like trying to walk along the top of a brick wall in the rain. Slippy and unstable and nowhere near as smooth as a brick wall. We were pelted by the rain, soaked through and struggling.

_If I fall, I'm going to die._

The drop was so far you couldn't see the floor and I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping me safe was putting my feet in the exact same spots as Kili did as I followed him along.

"HOLD ON!" Thornin yelled over the roar of the thunder.

"Easier said than done!" I exclaimed as I nearly lost my footing. Fili grabbed me just in time and held tightly onto my hand.

The next thing I knew Bilbo was falling at the exact same spot I slipped, he would have gone over the edge if Bofur and Dwalin hadn't managed to grab him and yank him back.

"WE MUST FIND SHELTER!" Thorin roared, his dark hair was plastered to his head and we all nodded in agreement.

"LOOK OUT!" Dwalin bellowed with a warning clear in his voice Fili tucked me into his side.

Fili, Kili and I looked up just in time to see a huge piece of the mountain come hurtling towards us. The rock broke just above our heads and pieces of boulder rained down. The dwarves all threw themselves into the side of the mountain shielding themselves with anything they had. I was tucked under Filis' arm looking on in absolute terror. I wanted to shut my eyes. I wanted to pretend this was a bad dream because it seemed as if I was destined to die tonight but I didn't. The adrenaline which came with the fear spurred me on.

"This is no thunder storm! It's a thunder battle!" Balin shouted. "Look!"

And what he pointed towards, made my heart drop straight out of my chest and into my stomach. A giant made out of rock_, _one I can only liken to a _bloody transformer_ stood up and hurled another rock towards us just as Bofur yelled "Well bless me the legends are true! GIANTS! STONE GIANTS!"

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" I cried now in complete panic. "WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP PLACE IS THIS!" At my words another giant further along our side of the mountain came along and was hit by the first one's rock.

Thorin had not been as confused and panicked by Bofurs words as I had for he shouted. "TAKE COVER YOU FOOL!" Fili let go of me, pushing me into the side of the mountain and pulled Bofur back just as another shower of rocks came down on us.

Fili and Kili stared at each other over my head. I couldn't see what kind of look it was but that might have been because I was preoccupied by the ground I was standing on cracking. I screamed and when I say I screamed, I mean I _screamed_, I don't think I've ever made such an ear-splitting high-pitched noise before in my life.

_I'm going to fall, I'm going to fall to my death and I haven't even told Fili I think I'm in love with him!_

At this thought my head snapped up (my feelings finally being admitted to myself) and I looked up at Fili terrified, it didn't occur to me to try and move out of the way of the split. I was petrified. Fili and Kili however were not so useless. Kili shoved me and I flew back hard into Fili, who then pushed me behind him so I was between him and Bofur.

I'd have been angry at them for being so rough if they hadn't just saved my life, and if Kili wasn't now stood on the other side of a giant gap.

"Kili take my hand!" Fili yelled leaning outwards hand stretched towards him. Unfortunately as we began to move in the opposite direction he had to pull up away from Kili's panicked face.

I stared at my best friend across the gap, pushing myself as close to the wall as I possibly could. That's when I realised.

_He's on a leg. He's on a giants fucking leg. _

We swung further out and I saw Kili giving Fili and I the same look. _Oh my god. We're on a leg too! _

I looked up in outright and unconditional terror as I saw the giant we were on stand as if he was getting up from a chair.

"I don't want to die." I moaned, "After all this I don't want to die… at least not because of a _bloody rock!_"

Fili gave me a weak grin and squeezed my hand. I don't even remember him taking my hand but I know he squeezed it.

"I didn't even like rides like these at the fair!" I continued as we swung round when the giant began to walk.

_Don't be sick, don't be sick, don't be sick._

Another giant had head-butted ours and now we were in great danger of crashing into some rocks and being, for lack of a better word, _smushed._

I felt my panic offset slightly as I saw Kili, Thorin and the others manage to run off the giant and onto, what I hoped, was the actual mountain. Our giant had another throw a rock at it, which took its head off. As the boulders rained down on us we swung round right in front of the others and I just _knew _this leg was going to smash.

"FILI," I yelled as loudly as I could tugging on his hand, he looked down on me in pure panic. "IF WE'RE GOING TO DIE…I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW…I THINK I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

His face scrunched in confusion he stared at me. "WHAT?" He yelled back.

_Damn this wind and rain and any damn noise!_

I screeched even louder than I thought I could. "_I THINK I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU_!"

"YOU THINK WHAT?"

Seeing us swinging further past the others and realising I was fast running out of time I did the only thing I could think of, I pushed my other hand up onto his chest, grabbed him by the coat, yanked him down and smashed my lips to his.

Fili's lips, even wet with rain and chapped from the cold and the wind were everything I'd ever imagined they'd be. I was just about ready to pull back when I felt his lips pushing forcefully back into mine. It was rough and hurried and not anything like people imagine first kisses to be. There were fireworks exploding in my head and butterflies in my stomach but I couldn't be sure if that was due to the kiss or the predicament we were in.

Fili pulled back and we both stared at each other a second breathing heavily, "Do you trust me?!" He yelled.

"What kind of question is that?!" I shouted back.

He looked imploringly at me and I nodded, and the next thing I knew I was flying through the air. It took me a few seconds but I realised Fili had launched me off of the cliff.

I just about made out a yell of "ZALIA!" from Thorin and Kili when I came smashing down onto a rocky ledge. To my horror I looked up and saw the knee the others were on, that I _had_ been on falling towards the wall. They were going to be smashed and Fili had saved my life.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch, feeling completely distraught when suddenly there were thumps all around me. I opened my eyes and sobbed with relief as I saw everyone who'd been on the stone giant with me; Bofur, Bombur, Ori, Dwalin, _Fili_!

I launched myself at him and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as he lay on the floor. "You _saved _me." I blubbered into his chest. "You saved me."

I felt his arms wrap around me and he dropped a kiss on my head. "I said I'd never let you fall didn't I?"

Tears began to streak down my face as I clung to him, when all of a sudden we heard "FILI!" And the others came running round the corner, the looks of relief on everyone's faces was evident, but none more so than those on Thorins' and Kilis'.

I scrambled up, removing myself from Fili, shaking from the cold and excess adrenaline, just as Bofur called, "Where's Bilbo?! Where's the hobbit?!"

From my standing position I could now see Bilbo hanging off the side of the ledge quite clearly, "BILBO!" I yelled trying to dive towards him as Fili caught me around the waist and yanked me back.

Thorin jumped down the ledge and threw Bilbo up with one hand, the others pulling to get him to safety. Then Thorin himself slipped. "THORIN!" I called just as Dwalin grasped him around the arm and using every amount of strength he had yanked him back to safety.

"I thought we'd lost our burglar." Dwalin said the panic leaving his face.

"He's been lost…" Stated Thorin sourly, "Ever since he left home. He should never have come, he has no place amongst us." He began to walk off into a cave and then yelled, "DWALIN" indicating with his head that the other dwarf should follow.

Fili busied himself with helping Bombur up and I stayed back letting the other dwarves pass me as I waited for Bilbo.

"He didn't mean it!" I told him patting him on the shoulder. "You know how he is!"

Bilbo looked weary, tired and sad as he replied. "Yes he did, and he was right."

"No." I argued, "Bilbo he wasn't right. They're annoyed with you again over me, this is my fault I'll - "

Bilbo cut me off. "No Zai, they're annoyed because I'm useless, even you know how to fight now and I…" He looked as if he was struggling not to cry. "Can't."

Pushing his way past me and inside the cave Bilbo left me standing outside all alone. I huffed and walked in.

* * *

><p>Later when everyone had settled down to get some sleep on Thorins' orders I lay feeling rather confused. Fili and I hadn't talked since earlier. I wasn't quite sure what this meant for us, but he <em>had<em> rolled his bedroll out next to mine and we _did_ have three blankets covering us as I was using his chest for a pillow, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

_What if it meant nothing to Fili? What if he's trying to think of a way to let me down easy?_

The longer I lay there, the more panicked I became.

"Zai!" I heard a whispered shout come from the other side of Fili. "Zai are you awake?"

"Yes!" I whispered back and suddenly Kili's head popped up next to me.

"Fili told me you kissed him." He stated.

I felt the panic rise once more, "Oh well that's just bloody _great_! Because he hasn't said anything to _me_ and now I'm laying here wondering if I've completely _fucked up_ and…" Kili slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Shut up."

I glared but did 'shut up'. Kili sighed and ran a hand through his hair, taking a few moments to tug at the knots.

"When a dwarf loves, he or she only loves once." He began. "And Fili is the heir to the throne. He has heirs of his own to think about producing. I know what he feels for you Zai, and he doesn't want to push you into anything you don't want. You need to talk to him because if you start this thing then that's it as far as he's concerned. I know it probably works different where you come from so _please_ really think about this… you're my best friend and he's my brother… I don't want either of you to get hurt."

When Kili had finished speaking I blinked at him, and then blinked at him again.

"What have I got something on my face?" He asked nervously running his hand over it.

I shook my head. "No, I'm just surprised you can be so… so…" I searched for the right word. "Formal." I finally decided.

He smirked at me quickly before taking back on his serious look. "I mean it Zai I…"

"Kili!" I whispered smacking a hand over his mouth this time. "Honestly, I didn't just kiss him for the sake of it you know. I don't think there would be anyone else for me either. I was trying to tell him I think I'm falling in love with him but he couldn't hear me so…"

Kili yanked my hand from his face. "Okay ewww! He is still my brother Zai."

I smirked at him, "Then you're not going to want to hear about his fabulous kissing skills…"

"Zai!" Kili whined throwing his hands over his ears as I laughed.

"Get some sleep!" Thorin whisper-shouted over to us. "And Zalia… have that talk with Fili soon."

"Oh dude." I moaned. "Not cool."

* * *

><p>"WAKE UP!"<p>

I sat up sleepily at Thorin's shout and suddenly found myself rolling down a giant tunnel, getting banged around and really glad I didn't take my sword off.

_It seems the ground has swallowed us._ I thought in an oddly calm manner.

Painfully going from one bit to the other I was alone for the first time in a _long _time. Neither Kili or Fili were holding on to me now.

"I'M REALLY GETTING SICK OF THIS SHIT!" I bellowed as I bounced straight over the top of Balin and landed hard on my back rolling on, like this tunnel was never going to end.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, kind of there but not quite eh? Still going to have to have that talk.<strong>

**I hope you liked it. **

**Thank you for all the awesome favs, follows and reviews. **

**Rue**


	15. Jabba The Hut

**Just be warned Zai uses some despicable language in this chapter!**

* * *

><p>The tunnel did eventually end. We fell down, rolling and tumbling, twisting and twirling until we came flying out of the end and landed in what looked like a giant, wooden, American catcher's mitt. With an <em>ooof<em> that knocked what seemed like all the air from my lungs I landed on top of Fili who groaned.

"Sorry." I moaned fighting to sit up. "Oh. My. God. What in the actual holy fuck are they?"

At my words everyone struggled to right themselves, so they could at least see what was coming towards us. The _things _were small and grey; they were bony and hunched over, disfigured and warty. Just plain _ugly_.

Bombur had just enough time to proclaim "Goblins." And then they were on us.

Creeping and crawling, pulling and yanking, they grasped and grabbed and snatched at us. Fili attempted to tighten his arms around me but it didn't work, they yanked and tugged, jerking and wrenching until they had pulled us away from each other. I looked back over my shoulder at him, or tried to. The goblins holding onto me wrenched me forwards again, prodding until I was walking myself. Seeing no other options I took the time to look around. There were hundreds of the damn things; thousands most likely. They smelt awful and they looked worse and the place was just crawling with them.

_Well awesome. This is just, awesome._

Bifur punched one of the goblins as he was dragged off and I snorted to myself. _Way to go Bifur, you show them mate._ As some disastrous music started I jerked my arm out of the grasp of the goblin holding me.

"I can walk you know!" The goblin gave me a strange, shifty look before saying something that sounded suspiciously like 'blerggh' and continued walking along next to me, his hand hovering by my arm.

As the music, for it was clearly meant to be music, continued I looked up and spotted what looked like a band. "Is that a band?" I asked Bofur as I was pushed unceremoniously so I was walking next to him. "Is that seriously meant to be a band?!"

Bofur looked at me, his face showing the bewilderment I felt. _Honestly, we just can't catch a break!_

"I feel a song coming on!" Announced a loud, deep voice. The owner of which I could not yet see.

As we were pushed along more rickety rope bridges the voice began to sing:

"_Clap snap, the black crack__  
><em>_Grip, grab, pinch, and nab__  
><em>_Batter and beat__  
><em>_Make 'em stammer and squeak!__  
><em>_Pound pound, far underground__  
><em>_Down, down, down in Goblin Town"_

I cringed at the lyrics, "He sounds, _delightful_" I informed Bofur as we were pushed further forwards.

"Are ya scared lassie?" His tone was slightly jittery as he asked me.

I grinned in his direction. "What gave me away?"

"I haven't heard ya this sarcastic in a while." He replied grinning weakly back.

_"With a swish and smack__  
><em>_And a whip and a crack__  
><em>_Everybody talks when they're on my rack__  
><em>_Pound pound, far underground__  
><em>_Down, down, down in Goblin Town_

_Hammer and tongs, get out your knockers and gongs__  
><em>_You wont last long on the end of my prongs__  
><em>_Crash, clash, crush and smash__  
><em>_Bang, break, shiver and shake"_

Now for the first time I could see the owner of the voice, and let me tell you he was revolting, just sickening. The mere sight of him was enough to make my stomach turn. I can't say I took it well. This giant orange thing with some strange crown on his head, an odd staff with a bone on the top, warts and spots bigger than my face spattered down his jaw and all over his body. His neck hanging like a bullfrogs; his eyes a terrifying, crazed deep red which reminded me of a crack-heads, except his irises were red, and his whites were only slightly bloodshot.

"We're going to die. And after _everything_ we're going to die because of some giant nut nut Jabba The Hut, who's bursting out into song with his cronies like this is a bad mixture of The Nightmare Before Christmas and High School Musical." I groaned.

By this point we were all stood in front of his, _throne_, I suppose is the word just looking at him dancing around. "And, to top it all, he's wearing a _fucking _loincloth, fantastic!"

Fili jerked me backwards wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, Thorin stood in front of me and Kili as well, I realised they were trying to hide me from this giant goblins view. Although the others did give appreciative grins at my despairing comments._"_

_You can yammer and yelp__  
><em>_But there aint no help__  
><em>_Pound pound, far underground__  
><em>_Down, down, down in Goblin Town"_

He finished singing and pounded his staff back on the ground, pulling his arm back in a yes motion his fist clenched and then turned and stood on some goblins to climb and place his gigantic bottom back in his throne.

* * *

><p>"Catchy isn't it?" He asked in a deep, croaky voice. "It's one of my own compositions."<p>

"That is not a song" Yelld Balin "It's an abomination." _Well Balin's got some balls! _I thought as I cheered along with the others at his words.

"Abominations, mutations, deviations, that's all you're going to find down here." At the goblin kings words the goblins began snatching our weapons and to my despair I felt the sword I'd won in Rivendell being snatched too, yanked right out of the scabbard which stayed attached round my waist.

When they'd got everyone's weapons they threw them onto the ground by the king. He seemed infuriated by them. "Who would be so _bold _as to come armed into my kingdom?" His tone was threatening as he stood from his throne again. "Spies, thieves, assassins?" His tone became more and more like that of a crazy old grandfather as he continued, his voice breaking on the last word.

"Dwarves, your malevolence." Replied one really ugly little goblin who seemed to be the suck-up of the group but also the most intelligent.

"Dwarves?" He repeated loudly.

"We found them on the front porch!" Exclaimed the suck-up, in an attempt to well… suck-up.

The King waved his giant hand, "Well don't just stand there. Search them! Every crack, every crevice!" He ordered, and the goblins did indeed start pulling at us again.

When I was ripped away from Fili I took great care to keep my head down. I didn't know why they wanted me hidden but I figured they had good reason and after the competition I owed them to keep my mouth shut anyway. Our packs were emptied and a goblin stamped on Oin's ear trumpet. As Nori's pack was emptied out I saw masses of things from Rivendell fall out.

"Nori!" I squeaked admonishing him.

He shrugged at me as the suck up announced, "It is my belief your great protuberance, that they are in league with elves!"

The King took the candle-holder from the suck-up and examined it. "Made in Rivendell…" _Well what do you know? Goblins can read. _"Second age, couldn't give it away." He finished tossing over the side of the platform we were on.

Dori looked disbelievingly at his brother. "Just a couple of keepsakes." Nori defended himself.

"What are you doing in these parts?" The goblin king demanded looking over all of us.

Thorin went to step forward but Oin grabbed his shoulder, pulled him back and walked out confidently announcing, "Eh don't worry lads, I'll handle this."

"No tricks!" Shouted the goblin king sitting back down and banging his staff for effect. "I want the truth!" He gave an evil looking grin. "Warts and all."

I shivered and stepped back into Fili who held me close to him again.

* * *

><p>"You're going to have to speak up!" Oin yelled holding up his ear-trumpet. "Your boys flattened my trumpet."<p>

"I'll flatten more than your trumpet!" The King stomped towards us in a very threatening way and I was just becoming convinced we were all doomed when Bofur stepped out.

"If it's more information you want I'm the one you should speak too!" His voice was shaking as he addressed the king.

The King reared back with a 'mmhmm' and Bofur taking this as his cue to speak continued. "We were on the road." He looked slightly thoughtful and then said "Well it's not so much a road as a path. Actually it's not even that come to think of it, it's more like a track." I frowned the goblin king was not looking impressed at all. "Anyway the point is we were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren't." Bofur threw his hands out to the side. "Which is a problem…" His voice got slower as he thought and he pointed towards the goblin king. "Because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday."

The goblin king was muttering for Bofur to 'shut up' and I wish to god he'd listen.

"Visiting distant relations!" Shouted Dori cutting in and nodding in a very over exaggerated way.

Bofur explaining the family relations, something about on his mother's side was cut off when the goblin king bellowed "SHUT UP!" and we all fell into silence again. Even the goblins cowered. Bofur pressed his lips firmly together.

"If they will not talk!" The King swung his staff round above us. "We'll make them squawk! Bring up the mangler! Bring up the bone breaker!" He ordered the goblins. "Start with the youngest." He pointed at Ori obviously not having seen me.

"WAIT!" Thorin barked stepping out in front of the goblin king.

"Well, well, well…" Said the goblin king reeling back, obviously having recognised Thorin. _Man Thorin knows some weird people._ "Look who it is. Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. King under the mountain!" He proclaimed giving an exaggerated, and rather girly looking, bow. "Oh! But I'm forgetting you don't have a mountain…" His voice began to drop into a low mocking tone. "And you're not a king…which makes you…nobody really." He finished with a mock sad face and a little nod.

_What a dickhead._

"I know someone…" The goblin king began again, sounding menacing and threatening and kind of like Lord Voldemort. "Who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head." Chuckling to himself he continued. "Nothing attached. Perhaps you know of who I speak?" If possible his tone became even more threatening as Thorin glared up at him, "An old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg." The goblin king watched Thorin closely for his reaction.

"Azog The Defiler was destroyed." Thorin spat. "He was slain in battle long ago!" His voice was sounding slightly shaky and I couldn't help but worry for him.

_What if Jabba The Hut's right?_

"So you think his defiling days are done do you?" He asked menacingly leaning towards Thorin and laughing before turning to face a tiny goblin on a little seat. "Send word to the pale orc. Tell him I have found his prize!"

I felt the worry seep into my bones as the little goblin rode off on his seat chuckling and the goblin king sat down on his throne again telling his minions to start inspecting our stuff.

* * *

><p>"<em>Bones will be shattered,<em>

_Necks will be wrung,_

_You'll be beaten and battered,_

_From racks you'll be hung!" _

The goblin king sang again as some heavy duty looking torture equipment was carried out towards us.

"_You'll die down here and never be found,_

_Down in the deep of goblin town." _

We were all struggling against the goblins by this point and the goblin king suddenly jumped back as if he were hiding going to be hurt by a huge animal. "I know that sword, it is the goblin cleaver!" His voice was filled with utter terror. "The biter, the blade that sliced a thousand!"

The King pointed towards us, giving orders to slash and whip and kill us. The goblins pounced, they were all over us, wrenching us away from one another and whipping at us. I screamed as one of them caught my bad shoulder and _that_ was not a good idea, although it may have saved everyone's lives.

"STOP" Yelled the king. "I heard something."

Fili and Kili and nearly every dwarf threw me a horrified look and I stared back wide-eyed.

"I heard a woman!" The king proclaimed. _Well wank. _"Find her!" _Oh god._

The goblins leapt up and checked over every one of the dwarves, they all attempted to throw themselves in my way somehow and Fili launched himself over me, shielding me with his body until eventually he was jerked up and I _knew_ they knew I was the woman. They dragged me forwards and I gulped as I looked up at the goblin king.

My lips moved a thousand miles a minute but you could clearly hear every word I spoke. "Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven, Give us this day our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, Lead us not in to temptation, But deliver us from evil, For thine is the kingdom, The power, And the glory, Forever and ever. Amen." I don't know where my sudden faith had come from but I guess in times of great fear we all fall back on what we were taught as children.

He leant down, his face becoming so close to mine I could see every single disgusting detail on it. "You." He announced pushing the hood down off my head. "Are a rather pretty woman."

I stared up at him wide-eyed unsure of the correct response. "Cheers?" I tried questioningly.

"Very pretty indeed." _That is so not cool._ "In fact! I could offer you and," He surveyed the dwarves, "Two friends safe passage from my kingdom, for one little…"He tapped his lips. "Kiss."

The dwarves began to shout in uproar and I heard at least five 'don't do it's' although I couldn't work out who they were from.

"I'll pass thanks," I looked back at the dwarves, although four goblins, two on each side were holding me in place. "Sorry guys," Turning back to the goblin king I continued. "I'd rather burn off my own face."

The King narrowed his eyes glaring at me. "That can be arranged."

I thought about it for a few seconds; "Arrange it." I challenged.

To my utter surprise the king laughed. He giggled and chuckled and chortled away for at least ten minutes before announcing. "I like her! She's feisty! They're always more fun feisty!"

I gulped, _I do not like the sound of that._ A large hand reached out towards me and I shuddered.

"Let me see," The king all but purred. "You might be worth keeping."

"KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!" I heard Fili yell and he began to beat at the goblins holding him, forced to face the King I couldn't see what was going on but I could see the kings eyes watching intently. I heard scuffling and yelling and thudding and suddenly nothing.

"Good. Now keep him there. Still and quiet!" Roared the King and I could only assume that Fili had been grabbed by one to many goblins for him to fight off.

The hand that had been approaching me continued and the goblin kings finger, only one of them because he was huge, slipped up my chest over my shirt.

"Oh my god, that's vile, that is completely vile. I'm being molested by a goblin!" I cried to myself as his finger caressed my stomach and continued up and over my breasts. "This isn't happening, this totally isn't happening."

"Hmm… very nice…" He muttered his finger lifting from my chest. "What do you think?" He asked the suck-up.

"No, no, no, no." I moaned as the suck-up came over and began to squeeze my breasts.

"Very nice indeed your malevolence."

The goblin king nodded and waved at him, "That's enough." The suck-up licked his lips at me and let go. "Yes you are very pretty indeed." The goblin king finished.

"And you look like Jabba The Hut." I baulked at myself, I couldn't have stopped it if I tried, it was like terrified word vomit.

The king narrowed his eyes at me. "Who is this Jabba The Hut you speak of?" And nodded to the other goblins.

I realised I was being pulled down so I was flat on my back. They stretched my left arm out twinging my shoulder and grasped me tightly around the wrist. My view slipped to the dwarves who were looking more and more alarmed the more that went on. Fili looked as if he was about to start bawling, and that I think is the moment I decided, this goblin king could go screw himself.

"He was in Star Wars." I replied confidently, "Don't tell me you've never heard of Star Wars?"

"What is this war of the stars of which you speak?!"

I threw on my best astonished look. "But your twin was in it! How can you not know?!"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Where did it happen?! When did it happen?!" His breath ghosted over my face and I had never smelt something so disgusting, I did my best not to gag.

"A long, long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away…" I trailed off.

The goblin king gave a nod, and I felt a pressure on my little finger and ring finger and then SNAP.

"You little cuntingwanker!" I hissed turning towards the suck-up goblin as all the dwarves fought against the ridiculous amounts of goblins now holding them to try and help me. "I swear to god I am going to knock your teeth so far down your throat the next time you see them they'll be coming out of your ass!"

"Let's try something different shall we?" Asked the goblin king, although I wasn't really sure it was a question. "Why are you here?"

I gulped, "Circus was in town. Thought it might be a good show." He gestured and the suck-up goblin snapped my middle finger.

"You little pissant! I'm going to rip out your innards and use them to hang you with!" I screamed against the pain.

The goblin king laughed. "Very inventive. Let's try again, where are you going?"

I stared over at the dwarves who were all flinging goblin after goblin away trying to get to me, the problem was there were too many.

"I dunno mate." I answered stopping the king and the dwarves dead.

The dwarves stared at me and I stared back. "Oh!" The goblin king exclaimed happily. "How noble you're trying to stop your companions getting hurt by trying to get to you!"

I glared at him. "Hmmm… I don't think so."

"Fine. I'm going to the magic faraway tree!" I shouted in frustration.

The suck up snapped my index finger and I turned to him and growled. "I swear when I get out of this I am going to rip of your testicles and use them as golf balls!"

The goblin king laughed and motioned someone forwards with the biggest hammer I have ever seen in my life.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I yelped. "That's a fucking hammer!"

The goblin king grinned at me. "Indeed."

"Fine. Do it. Fucking smash it. I really don't care." I replied turning away from the hammer which was positioned over my hand.

Narrowing his eyes the goblin king exclaimed, "Grab that one! The one who yelled!" I felt my heart nearly stop as Fili was yanked from the crowd. "We shall use the hammer on him instead."

I felt my eyes harden as I put as much fury as I could into the look I was giving the king. "I promise you." I began, "I _PROMISE_ you! If you hit him with that hammer I will personally take it from your cronies and beat your brains out with it, until they slip from your ears like jelly."

The whole room, at my announcement, was silent. The king was just about to answer me when a bright white light spread out around us and every goblin it seemed was thrown back away from us.

"Take up arms, fight." _I know that voice._ "FIGHT!"

"GANDALF YOU LEDGEND!" I screamed grabbing my sword from the pile on the floor.

_We might just be alright yet._

* * *

><p><strong>So their in Goblin town, now just to get out ;)<strong>

**I hope you liked it!**

**Rue**


	16. Disfigured Escape

Gandalf, for all of you who do not know, kicks ass. Honestly for a man his age to be so fast, sprightly and well just generally _badass_ is impressive. In the time it took me to scramble to my feet holding my sword Gandalf had already knocked off two goblins and was moving quickly towards his third.

"He wields the foehammer!" Yelled the goblin king cowering on the floor. "The beater, bright as daylight."

I stabbed forwards with my sword sticking it through any sort of goblin I could as the others began throwing their weapons back to one another.

"Fili!" I sounded worried, I sounded particularly _distraught_ actually, I didn't know if the hammer had hit him or not when Gandalf did his blast thing and I could feel the panic seeping into my bones. He had to be alright. He just _had_ to be.

My slashing got more and more desperate the longer I waited for Fili to shout back and heard nothing. I scanned the area, in my immediate vicinity I could see Bifur, Bombur and Bofur; Ori, Dori and Nori; Dwalin and Balin; Oin and Gloin but the king and his nephews were completely out of my sight. A goblin launched itself at me flying high through the air and I stabbed my sword up with such force and anger I wasn't surprised at all when the goblin got stuck.

Letting my sword fall so the goblin body was lying on the ground I put my foot on the body and yanked with all my might. My sword came out with a jerk and the most horrible _squelch_ but I didn't have time to think about that. I didn't have time to consider a mental breakdown over the fact that I was killing creatures that could not only think and feel but could also talk because right now it was their life or mine; and I intended on leaving with mine.

* * *

><p>As I slashed and jabbed at goblins I found myself next to Bombur who used his size to his advantage in a <em>very <em>remarkable way. He stuck his stomach forward as a goblin leapt at us and the thing went bouncing away as if it had hit some sort of trampoline.

"Bombur man that was SICK!" I congratulated him.

As we swung our weapons round, dodging goblins and striking at them where we could he threw me a confused glance. "Sick?!" He questioned. "I was not ill!"

"No mate." I shouted as I swung my sword widely lopping off the head of another goblin. "It means that was _super_ impressive!"

Grinning in the happy-go-lucky way only Bombur could during this sort of predicament he calmly shouted for me to duck. As I did he swung his weapon over my head and I heard a shriek as the goblin that had been trying, and succeeding, to sneak up on me was whacked and flew through the air and off the side.

Turning I saw Kili viciously slashing away at one goblin and felt my heart lift just a little, _Kili's safe_ I thought to myself just as another goblin jumped at me and I had to divert my gaze to spar with it.

"THORIN!" I heard Fili's voice clear as day.

The goblin king was making some god awful roaring sounds but from the large crash that followed I gathered Thorin had dispatched him for now, and with a renewed vigour _knowing_ all of my friends were safe I grinned like a maniac at the goblin in front of me. It lifted its sword high and I sprang forwards shoving mine right through its neck with a 'you lose'. As I pulled my sword back and the goblin fell its sword slashed down catching me right across the face. I growled in frustration, I could feel the blood pouring from the cut that ran from above my eye to somewhere down my cheek.

"THAT BETTER NOT SCAR ASSHOLE!" I yelled as I swung round and ripped my sword across another goblins gut. "Because I will be _totally _pissed off!"

"Follow me! QUICK!" Gandalf bellowed and I had to do a complete one eighty to run in the right direction, I found myself once again behind Bombur who had a goblin about to take his head off.

"BOMBUR DUCK!" The dwarf crouched down still running at my shout and I swung my sword viciously to the side slicing off its head. "All good!"

Bombur stood up and, from the comment which came out of his mouth at that moment, there was no doubt in my mind he was Bofurs brother. "We have to stop meeting like this!"

I laughed heartily and smiled at him as we ran. He chanced a glance back at me. "What happened to your face?"

"A goblin happened!" I replied, still slashing wildly as we ran. "He now has a hole in his neck!"

Throwing me a wicked grin that I wasn't sure before that moment Bombur was capable of he sped up and I followed his example.

* * *

><p><em>Slash, stab, swing, jab, duck. Slash, stab, swing, jab, duck. <em>

The capacity for thought when you are clearly outnumbered rather leaves you for moments and comes back in waves, it's like the mind shuts down so all you can do is direct your actions. I would love to say it was as simple as following the pattern running through my head but it's not. Not at all. In fact you often found yourself deviating because it becomes a case of act and react or die.

"RUN!" Gandalf roared and I allowed myself a little sarcastic, _Really? No. I just thought I'd take a leisurely stroll._ Before pushing myself faster still. "QUICKLY!"

_If I go much quicker there is a ninety nine percent chance I'm going to fall! _

I had a stitch in my side the size of America and I was swinging and slashing so much my arm had gone numb. I could feel the blood crusting down the slash of my face and I was dreading pulling the hair stuck there out of it afterwards.

_At least I'm not blind! _I reminded myself as I ran, _always look for the silver lining, it could be worse if he caught your eye you'd be blind._ I found myself smiling slightly as I thought of my dad; he had taught me to look at the positive which, although I found it extremely hard most of the time, I was managing right now.

The dwarves at the front picked up a long piece of wood that I think was meant to be a handrail of some sort, and began knocking goblins out of the way as they came charging towards us. _Really very resourceful._ We rushed along hitting and stabbing and swiping and slashing and honestly, I couldn't tell you where anyone was except Gandalf and Bombur. Gandalf because of his height and Bombur because I was keeping him in my sights, I figured we hadn't been such a bad team and why fix something that aint broke!

I expected Thorin to be good, so when I heard him bellowing for someone to cut the ropes that the goblins had begun to swing down on it didn't surprise me to see him knocking off goblin after goblin with little problem. What _did _surprise me was seeing Balin with him having as little trouble as Thorin himself.

"YOU GO BALIN!" It was half a laugh and half a shout. "MAN'S GOT SKILL!" I felt the grin stretching my face, and I'm sure I would have looked half mad to anyone who was anywhere near me, but if I didn't smile I was going to cry and I'm pretty sure that if I started crying I'd have signed my own death sentence.

* * *

><p>Bombur and I ended up behind Kili, Bofur and Bifur who were in the process of using a ladder to trap the goblins and push them off the rickety walkways and then use the ladder as a bridge. Bombur and I shared a 'why not' look and shrugging gabbed the ladder with the others and bellowed a lot of nothing really, just 'arrrgh' and what not as we forced the ladder down and forwards.<p>

We ran across the ladder and, for a split second, I thought Bomburs' weight was going to make it give out and I was going to plummet to my death, it didn't, _obviously._ As we got to the other side I turned quickly and kicked the ladder sending it falling down, a few goblins with it, which stopped more from following us. Turning I continued chasing after the others, stabbing and jabbing when I had to and sweating profusely I was sure.

"I'm going to smell so bad!" I groaned which made Bombur give a little chuckle as we ran across another bridge, "Honestly the next river we find I call first dibs!"

For once we were all in the same place again and someone cut the rope on the wooden platform we were on, it began to swing between the other side and the goblins who were following us.

"JUMP!" Thorin ordered as it swung towards the one side.

A few people jumped off and as it swung back more goblins jumped on, one feigned towards my side with its sword before changing direction quickly and aiming for my face again, I slammed my sword into its with an almighty clash. "Fool me once shame on you!" I informed him parrying his next attack, "Fool me twice shame on me." And I slashed at its side sending it flying off the platform. It took me a couple of seconds to realise that Fili was the other side of Gandalf, slashing and stabbing at the goblins with a finesse I could only envy and admire.

"Now!" Gandalf yelled and all three of us ran and took a flying jump onto the next platform as Fili swung his sword back cutting the rope holding our platform up and making it fall down to the depths of goblin town.

* * *

><p>Running and ending up next to Bombur and Bofur again I shouted. "They could have made PE SOOOO much more interesting!"<p>

Bofur turned to me and looked stunned at the sight of me. "What happened to your face?!" He asked.

I sighed loudly. "It's not as bad as it looks!" Throwing him a small grin I finished. "Damn goblins."

We ran on twisting and turning around their godforsaken bridges and eventually Bombur was covered in goblins. I launched myself at Bomubur grabbing on and yanking goblins off until to my dismay he jumped bouncing himself and subsequently me with him through about four bridges.

"BOMBUR WHY?!" I shrieked as we went plummeting down still scratching and clawing and different goblins. I was forced to leave one arm wrapped around Bombur and start smacking at things with my injured hand for fear of hitting him with my sword.

The burning, stinging, sharp pains that ran up my arm with each blow made me want to cry and scream but I grit my teeth, if it was life or death I intended to live. I would be dammed if I died because I was too much of a pussy to hit with a broken hand. We came smashing down behind the others and jumped to our feet just as Gandalf enchanted a boulder to fall from the ceiling. It rolled forwards and _squished_ the goblins in our path.

"GANDALF MY MAN, I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU!" I bellowed at the top of my voice. "GOBLIN JELLY ANYONE?!"

Those dwarves who were around me just started chuckling. Whether at what I said or at my general oddities I never did find out. The boulder rolled of the edge of the cliff and we were round the corner and on to bridges again before you could blink.

I followed the lead of the others and began swiping and slashing at any goblin _stupid_ enough to come within range of my sword. Slicing and sticking and poking and prodding I'm not sure how many goblins fell to my sword that day, it briefly crossed my mind that I should perhaps feel guilty about it but as they were trying to kill us all I didn't exactly have it in me to give a rats ass at that particular moment.

* * *

><p>With an almighty crash the goblin king broke upwards out of the bridge we were running across sending wood flying in each and every direction. As he rose up we came to a screeching halt. Goblins scuttled up behind us and behind him and I felt oddly certain we had lost.<p>

"Ah well…" I muttered to Bomubr and Bofur… Bifur too (although I'm not sure if he understood or not), "We're screwed. It was good while it lasted though." They all gave me sly grins.

_If anything at least I bring amusement to a situation. I wouldn't have even lasted this long had it not been for the dwarves teaching me to fight and Thandir helping me work on my speed. I owe these guys my life. Literally. _

I felt suddenly sad at this thought, that I wouldn't have time to thank them for being such great buddies and providing me with the skills that kept me alive thus far when the goblin king began to speak.

"You thought you could escape me!" His voice was rife with offence as he smashed his staff down in front of Gandalf who had to jump back to avoid being squashed. The goblin king swung outwards viciously and Gandalf stumbled back falling into Nori and Ori who held him up. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW WIZARD?!" Bellowed the goblin king in a challenging voice, sounding quite pleased with himself.

Gandalf launched forwards and struck out with his staff which poked the goblin king in the eye and I felt a slightly hysterical laugh bubble out of my throat as the goblin king let out a loud 'oww'. Gandalf then sliced the goblin king across the stomach with a wide _slash_ and the goblin king fell to his knees clutching his belly.

"That'll do it." The goblin king was looking rather thoughtful as he announced this and I giggled once more, they were some_ brilliant_ last words.

And last words they were as Gandalf sliced across the goblin kings throat and jumped back as the kings body fell forwards, smacking into the wooden platform he landed on and shattering some of the wood meaning our platform broke away from the rest and we began sliding down the mountain.

"SERIOUSLY?!" I yelled, hanging on to the side for dear life. "NOT COOL! NOT FUCKIN' COOL!"

The others, if their shouts were anything to go by, mirrored my sentiments exactly.

* * *

><p>We fell down the side as if we were on some sort of runaway train that had come off the tracks and I found myself chanting in my head <em>don't look down, don't look down <em>as I clung tightly to the supports of the bridge. I could hear the dwarves yelling in fear around me and that really wasn't helping when suddenly we started to be jostled from slide to side and I realised that we were coming to a halt.

"Dear Jesus, Thank you!" I proclaimed as the walls narrowed making us come to a halt with a thump. Everyone began to groan and I tiredly used my aching arms to army crawl off of the bridge and grasp the side of the wall pulling myself up next to Gandalf.

I stashed my sword back in its scabbard just as Bofur announced, "Well that could've been worse."

"Famous last words mate!" I stated in a surprisingly upbeat tone as the goblin king came crashing down on top of them all.

I winced. _Man, that must have hurt. _As I winced I scrunched up the right side of my face; the side the goblin had slashed and it stung.

"Oww." I moaned carefully prodding at my cheek with my finger.

The cut, from what I could feel, started just above my eyebrow and sliced right down through it and my cheek stopping in line with the corner of my mouth. _Definitely lucky I'm not blind. _I thought just as Dwalin groaned "You have got to be joking." _Seems like they're picking up some of my mannerisms._

Kili, who was lying at the front quite near my feet began to pull himself from the rubble and then yelled "GANDALF!" in pure panic.

My head snapped up and I felt my eyes widen of their own accord, once again pulling on the cut and making me groan as I watched all the goblins scuttling towards us. "Oh, just get fucked already!" I moaned.

There were bloody _thousands_ of them just teeming towards us. "There's too many!" Dwalin exclaimed pulling Nori up out of the wreckage, "We can't fight them!"

"Only one thing will save us!" Gandalf announced, "Daylight! Come on!"

I took off down the tunnel he pointed to as fast as my legs could carry me, jerking my sword back out of its scabbard and shouting "DUDE I AM SO THERE!"

The problem I discovered, about being in the lead is it's your fault if everyone gets lost. Gritting my teeth I decided there was no way in hell, I was getting lost. I took rights and lefts and ran straight on letting my feet guide me until finally I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Quite literally in fact. _One point to sheer dumb luck!_

"THIS WAY!" I yelped taking off, jumping rocks and whatever else happened to be in my path, bounding out of the tunnel and down the side of the mountain past trees and rocks until I came to a slight clearing. Shoving my sword back in my scabbard again I bent down and put my hands on my knees panting heavily.

I could hear the others pulling up next to me as I stood for a minute getting my breath back. Finally I stood up straight. "Well that was fun!" I stated sarcastically as Gandalf counted the other members of the company back in by name.

"Bifur Bofur that's ten!" He shouted, "Fili! Kili! That's twelve, Bombur, thirteen and" He swung round and his eyes landed on me where I was leaning against a tree. "Zalia fourteen."

Gandalf took a few steps into the company. "Where's Bilbo?" He questioned. "Where is our hobbit?"

Thorin looked around almost as if he was in slight shock.

"WHERE IS OUR HOBBIT?!" Yelled Gandalf as Fili and Kili swung wildly round looking for him in confusion.

Kili's eyes landed on me and he nudged Fili hard in the side, they went to come marching over but I waved them off and trod towards them just as Dwalin's rough voice proclaimed "Curse that Halfling. Now he's lost?!"

* * *

><p>Taking another step and bounding up next to them I reached Fili and Kil, Fili dragged me into a quick embrace before pulling back and examining me. "What happened to your face?" He asked sounding quite distressed.<p>

"I got into a slight disagreement with a goblin." I replied chuckling slightly. "Don't worry about it, it looks worse than it is."

Kili looked at me rather dismayed. "I seriously doubt that Zai, that looks like it's going to scar."

I glared at him slightly. "So I'll be ugly and disfigured forever then! What do you want me to do about it?! Moping around isn't going to help anyone right now!" I hissed becoming quite anxious at the idea of having a huge scar on my face forever. _Fili would definitely never want me then, if I ever even had any chance before. _Kili looked suitably chastised.

"You could never be ugly Mimur!" Fili scolded me furiously, "I don't ever want to hear you say that again." He pulled me into him, hugging me to him.

_He's just saying that. _I gave him a weak smile and he frowned at me as he tightened his hold.

* * *

><p>The conversation about Bilbo's whereabouts it seemed was still going on. "Well where did you last see him?" Asked Gandalf.<p>

"I fink I saw him slip away when they firs' collard us." Nori put in helpfully.

Gandalf strode towards him. "Well what happened exactly? Tell me!" He implored.

"I'll tell you what happened!" Announced Thorin striding closer to Fili, Kili and I, he did a double take when he saw my face and winced.

I raised my eyebrows at Fili in a sort of 'I told you so' way. Fili just narrowed his eyes at me, squeezed my side and looked back over at Thorin.

"Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it!" Thorin stated angrily forcefully pointing back in the direction we came. "He has thought of nothing of his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing our hobbit again." He finished with a sort of grim finality to his tone. "He is long gone."

I gripped Fili tighter with my bad arm and patted Kili on the arm with my good hand at their looks of dismay. I wanted to stick up for Bilbo. I wanted to tell Thorin he was wrong, but there was absolutely no sign of him.

"Maybe he just got lost." I muttered. Thorin threw me a scathing look. "Zalia I know you liked him," He said gently, "But I'm afraid he is already making his journey home."

"No." Said Bilbo stepping out from behind a tree. "He isn't."

Everyone cheered a little and sighed in relief but I practically jumped on the poor man, hugging him tight. "BILBO!" I exclaimed joyfully. "I knew you wouldn't leave us!"

He grinned and patted me on the back before I stepped back in between Fili and Kili again I gave Thorin a cheeky look.

"Bilbo Baggins" Gandalf said a chuckle in his voice. "I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life."

Bilbo stepped forwards and patted Balin on the back as he did.

"Bilbo." Kili's voice was slightly breathless as he spoke with a smile. "We'd given you up!"

"How on earth did you get past the goblins?!" Asked Fili voice equally awed at the sight of Bilbo but eyes narrowed in scepticism.

"How indeed?" Dwalin's voice was slow and even more sceptical than Filis'.

"Ahahaha!" Said Bilbo putting his hand in his pocket, I narrowed my eyes at him at the same time as Gandalf proclaimed. "Well what does it matter? He's back."

I twisted my head to face Gandalf eyes narrowed still. _Something weird is going on here._ _We had enough trouble escaping all together, I'm injured and I'm better in combat than Bilbo. He doesn't even seem to really have a scratch on him. _

"It matters." Thorin spoke in a low voice before raising it to announce. "I want to know!" He stopped a moment and then back in a low voice never taking his eyes from Bilbo he asked. "Why did you come back?"

"Look I know you doubt me," Bilbo began shaking his head, "And I know, I know you always have." He was nodding now but answering confidently, never taking his eyes off Thorin. "And you're right I often think of Bag-End," He shrugged in a 'what can you do?' kind of way. "I miss my books," His voice was honest and 'so what-ish' not defensive at all as he bounced up and down on his feet, swirling his tongue around so it pushed his lips out. "And my armchair and my garden. You see that's where I belong." He pointed forwards. "That's home. And that's why I came back… cause… you don't have one." I had to give him props it took some balls to say that. "A home. It was _taken_ from you." He fixed Thorin with a steady gaze. "But I will help you take it back if I can."

Thorin looked down in thought and I sighed in an emotional, girly, sort of way, "Aww Bilbo that's so sweet."

As I sniffled, Fili looked down at me alarmed. "Don't start all that woman!"

"It's alright, it's because I'm happy." I replied.

Fili and Kili shared a bewildered look over my head, I don't think they really knew what to do.

Suddenly there was an extremely loud yowling sound. "That's not wargs," I said worry laced in my voice. "Tell me that's not wargs!" The panic evident.

"Out of the frying pan…" Thorin muttered.

"And in to the fire. Run." Gandalf finished. "RUN!"

"EVERY FUCKIN' TIME!" I shouted taking off down the mountainside once more.

* * *

><p><strong>So it seems like the shit just got real. <strong>

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**Rue**


	17. Closure And A New Start

The day darkened as we sprinted down the mountainside and the wargs unfortunately did catch up with us. They were growling and howling and as Bilbo and I swung round a rock one leaped over the top and charged at us. I gasped reaching for my sword but Bilbo was faster. He yanked his sword out of its scabbard and held it out in front of him; the warg ran straight into it, pushing Bilbo into the tree with the force of his charge.

_Not nearly as dramatic as the first time I killed a warg._

I carried on running towards the trees following the others who were whacking at wargs left, right and centre when I realised Bilbo wasn't following. He was standing, rather wide-eyed, a look of pure shock on his face, staring at the warg that still had his sword embedded in it.

"Bilbo," I cried desperately. "We need to go!"

When he continued staring at the warg I ran back and shook him, just as Gandalf shouted, "Up into the trees! All of you! Come on! Climb, BILBO, CLIMB!"

This thankfully seemed to spur Bilbo into action, he grabbed the hilt of his sword and ran towards the trees… or at least he _tried_ to. The sword was so firmly stuck in the wargs head that even after trying to yank it out a second time it didn't work.

Bilbo stepped back around the warg and fumbled for a few minutes before repeating my earlier actions with the goblin. He placed his foot on the warg and pulled up hard. The sword stayed stubbornly stuck.

"THEY'RE COMING!" Thorin bellowed.

By this time most of the dwarves had swung up into the trees, quite athletically if I do say so myself, and I was becoming more and more panicked at the sight of the approaching wargs some, it seemed, with orc riders.

"ZAI!" Kili bellowed looking down from his perch in a tree and making the other dwarves heads snap to Bilbo and I. "HURRY!"

Exhaling loudly I ran around the back of Bilbo and wrapped my arms around his waist tugging at him as he tugged on the sword.

"This damn thing is in there _really_ good!" I moaned as Bilbo and I shot each other a worried glance. "On the count of three, one, two, _three_!"

Throwing ourselves back with all our might the sword finally jerked free, Bilbo and I ended up sprawled out on the floor but we didn't stay down for long.

"Come on!" I grabbed Bilbo with my good hand and sprinted towards the nearest tree. "Jump!"

Bilbo jumped up first, having successfully stashed his sword back into its scabbard. I threw myself upwards and grabbed at the tree branch, "ARGH!" I moaned as I tried to pull myself up one handed, unable to grip with the broken one. "BILBO!"

Bilbo looked down fretfully, "I don't want to hurt you!" He exclaimed.

"And I don't want to die!" I shot back forcefully swinging my bad hand up again. "Just _grab _it."

* * *

><p>With Bilbo's help, both of us made it to a decent height in the tree just in time! The pain in my hand made it felt like it was throbbing and I wanted to cry. We continued to scale the tree until we were at the same height as Ori, who was also sharing our tree and I let out a huff as we finally seemed to get to a safe height.<p>

Padding menacingly onto a large rock, a rock which looked suspiciously like pride rock actually, came a _giant _orc astride a white warg.

"Please don't tell me that's who I think it is…?" I muttered desperately to those around me.

They threw me looks filled with worry.

"Azog!" Thorin breathed out heavily, turning to look at the orc from his spot in his tree.

"Well that's just _fantastic_." My voice was laced heavily with sarcasm. "I wish people who were _supposed_ to be dead would just stay dead!"

There were no chuckles at my despairing voice this time, everyone seemed to think this was a _huge_ issue . Much like I did. I couldn't imagine how poor Thorin would be feeling, this _villain,_ and he did look like a villain, had killed his grandfather and Thorin thought he'd sorted him out and then _nope_ up he pops again.

_It's like a bad fairy tale…._I thought looking over to the orc.

I grimaced at his appearance, he had deep scars all down his large pale face and torso, he'd stuck some kind of metal pointy _thing_ through the stump Thorin had left him with in a weird attempt at some makeshift arm. He looked demented and really sort of terrifying. _Actually_ no, 'sort of', about it. The fear that dripped down into my gut told me that.

_A really bad fairy tale…_

The warg growled menacingly bearing its sharp teeth as the orc leaned forwards slowly and sniffed the air.

_I feel we are in some deep do do._

I scrunched my face up, my mouth opening slightly and breathed in sharply as the pale orc began to speak in a rasping, throaty voice which had me trembling. I couldn't understand a word he was saying, apparently orcs have their own language too, but I did make out Thorin's name.

"It can not be." Thorin sounded…well… _upset_ and that was probably more terrifying than anything else.

It seemed Azog was taking the piss.

"Oh how very grown up of him." I stated, nearly falling off my branch as a pang of terror struck me when the orc's eyes fell on me. His mouth twisting into some sort of cruel demented smile.

Azog's voice rose to a bellow and he pointed at Thorin with his mace, as soon as it swung around his head the wargs surged forwards.

"I take it that meant something along the lines of 'attack'" I said as the wargs began to jump at the trees, snapping at the branches with their teeth. "This is an _awful _de ja vu moment!"

I tried to scramble further up the tree, the panic filling me was a hundred times worse than in the competition with Thandir. This time it was likely that I was not going to come out of this alive, not only were our trees right on the edge of a huge cliff, but there were _loads_ more wargs and we weren't somewhere safe if anything went really wrong.

_I'm going to die, nobody gets that lucky twice. _The thought seemed rather terrifying in itself and I gulped. _I'm going to do whatever I can to take as many of these fuckers with me as possible… unless I can escape, and then I plan to escape!_

To my complete and utter dismay the wargs began launching themselves up the trees snapping off branches and growling, _terrible,_ throaty growls which made my stomach lurch. I whimpered every time a warg hit at the bottom of our tree and then let out a little yelp as I felt it began to fall.

The force with which the wargs were hitting the bottom of the trees made the trees give off another lurch and then a giant crack and I comically shouted, "TIMBER!"

Probably not the best reaction to the situation but I didn't know what to do, then as my eyes landed on Bilbo's which were wide with panic I realised I _did_.

Giving an order of "JUMP" and yelling like Tarzan I lurched forwards off of our tree and into the next one. It was keeping us above ground for the moment; it looked as if everyone had caught on and they were all following my lead.

* * *

><p>Don't ask me how I was managing to grab the trees because I don't know. All I do know, (something I learnt from the journey that has stayed true until this day), is that fear, panic and a body running on <em>pure<em> adrenaline, can do some amazing things.

* * *

><p>Eventually though I realised, we were fast running out of trees. In fact I saw that we were about to jump onto the <em>last<em> tree, which, consequently stood on the edge of a cliff with a drop so high I don't even want to think about how many Eiffel Towers you'd have to have stacked on one another to equal it.

I launched myself at the last tree and grasped firmly at a branch sticking directly out of the trunk. To my utter disbelief, I landed on it and managed to sit with my legs either side swinging like a child.

Taking the moment to embed the faces of all my friends, of my _family_, into my memory I looked up and met Fili's eyes. The grim acceptance and utter adoration mixed in nearly made me lose my balance. Honestly it was enough to make even the toughest heart melt. As the wargs attacked the bottom of the last tree Azog The Defiler gave a harsh, cavernous laugh. One which chilled me to the bone.

Gandalf it seemed had ideas which clashed with that of the pale orc. I saw a bright orange streak and then the ground below lit up, bursting into flame. "FILI!" I heard him yell.

Next thing I knew Fili, with a skill that I found utterly amazing was bouncing a lit pine cone round in his hand blowing on it occasionally before he lit another pine cone from it for Bilbo. Kili who wasn't far above me suddenly shouted "ZAI" and I threw up my hands just in time to have a pine cone; a _burning _pine cone crash into them.

I brought my good arm back and used every single ounce of might I had to launch it directly at the white warg. Normally I am a notoriously bad shot, as we'd discovered before. This time, for the _first_ time, I hit my mark.

The white warg yelped and reared back as I threw my hands up in the air. "BULLSEYE!" The glare Azog gave me, made me quickly rethink my celebration. I shivered as Kili dropped another pine cone down.

Launching lit pine cones on wargs worked for a while and when the fire was spread out in front of us like a protective, electric fence of some sort, we cheered. None of the wargs would be getting through any of the tiny gaps, but, with a sadness unparalleled by any other, I realised we were still going to die. The fire would burn out and we had nowhere left to go.

* * *

><p>I always thought, that if I was ever going to die I would be fearful and panicky, however sitting on my tree branch I discovered I was not. What I was, was <em>angry<em>. No, I was furious. After everything we'd been through so far I was absolutely fuming that I was going to die never having had the chance to _thank _each and every one of the dwarves with me, the hobbit and wizard too, for showing me such love and friendship. Friendship like I didn't know it could ever exist.

If one who had grown up in my world being called a _freak_ and a _weirdo_ read this, they would understand. For someone who was never accepted by my peers at home, people who should have accepted me, instead making me feel awkward; to be so _unconditionally_ accepted by these dwarves… well. I realised in that moment, that England was not home. It had been once, but time changes everything and now, home I considered to be here, amongst the people I loved and cared for.

_Even if we are going to die being pushed off a cliff, in a tree by wargs with tall, pale and ugly over there laughing like a maniac. _

"GUYS!" I yelled at the top of my voice. "IF WE'RE GOING TO DIE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! I'VE NEVER HAD SUCH GOOD FRIENDS BEFORE AND…" I trailed off thinking carefully. "AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS. HONESTLY, I'D RATHER DIE HERE WITH YOU THAN ANYWHERE ELSE WITH ANYONE ELSE!"

The gulps I heard around me let me know that I'd hit my mark.

"It is an honour for every single one of us to have met you." Thorin replied from a branch a little off to the side of me and I smiled.

"No, it's an honour to have met every single one of you."

And then, like in some cheesy movie, the tree broke. "OH FUCK OFF!" I yelled as the tree hanging on by its roots was suspended horizontally, across the cliff.

I heard Ori give a shout and felt my heart leap when I saw him manage to grab Dori round the legs. From my perch right at the front of the tree, I was the least affected. I was now sitting on the tree trunk behind the large branch on which I _had_ been sitting a moment ago.

"MR GANDALF!" Yelled Dori and I looked back to see Gandalf thrust his staff down just in time for Dori to grab onto the end of it. "Hold on Ori!" Dori shouted.

The tree shuddered as some more cracking and snapping noises could be heard, I was mildly certain this was it for us.

Then I saw him.

Thorin stood up on the trunk and strode towards the pale orc, I could have cried. He just _looked _majestic. He looked every bit of the king he was. My heart pounded against my ribcage, bashing so hard I was surprised it didn't break through. Thorin raised his sword and his oaken branch as a shield and ran towards his foe with a mighty roar. Striding through the flames he looked magnificent. Like a story book hero. Until he reached the orc.

The warg lurched forwards off the rock and smacked Thorin straight in the head, Thorin was knocked off of his feet and hit the ground with a loud _thud._

Bilbo tugged at my leg, I looked at him, realising what he wanted and used all my strength to haul him onto the tunk next to me clasping my legs on for dear life just as Azog sent his mace crashing into Thorin, hitting him right under the chin.

Bilbo and I shared a fearful look as Balin let out a loud cry of "NOOO!"

Thorin, was not winning.

The orc roared and Bilbo stood up on the trunk in worry looking on. "Oh no Bilbo Baggins, don't you dare!" I snapped. Bilbo looked back at me in shock as I hauled myself up after him. "I'm coming with you."

The warg bit into Thorin and Thorin screamed. Dwalin yelled Thorin's name but was unable to help him as the branch he was on snapped and he had to hang on for dear life.

The warg launched Thorin through the air and Thorin hit the ground and was still.

Bilbo and I ran forwards with a speed and courage I wasn't sure either one of us possessed, as an orc stood over Thorin about to behead him. Bilbo tackled the orc and flailed around under him eventually getting the upper hand and stabbing the orc right in the chest. In fact he stabbed him about ten times.

_Overkill_ I thought as I stood sword out crouched protectively in front of Thorin. Bilbo stumbled over joining me, looking severely stressed.

"What are our chances?" He asked waving his sword wildly in front of him.

I frowned. "Slim to none."

We both gulped, the pale orc on the white warg said something in orchish and more orcs and wargs stalked towards us.

"Totally doomed, in fact." I muttered.

* * *

><p>The dwarves came running with vicious yells, Fili and Kili were the first to reach us and begin slashing and stabbing at the wargs, and then just like that we were fighting again.<p>

Swinging and flailing and brandishing our swords, hitting every warg and orc within our reach.

_Maybe, just maybe, we won't die tonight. _

Then Bilbo hit me. When I say hit me, what I actually mean is he flew through the air and landed on me. I was knocked right off my feet and I managed to scramble around enough to see the pale orc and his white warg advancing towards us. The fear in my stomach was back. I felt the blood drain from every single one of my extremities and I felt oddly numb.

Suddenly a bird's cry, louder than any I had ever heard before split through the noise of the night. I looked up. There were eagles. Giant Eagles swooping in and grasping orcs in their talons, throwing them off the cliff. Knocking down trees onto orcs and squashing them. They picked up dwarfs and began to drop them onto the backs of other eagles, flying them to god knows where.

Thorin was grasped in an eagle's claws, more gently than I imagined possible and I saw his oak shield fall to the ground. At some point during the commotion, I had lost Bilbo.

The white warg head-butted me knocking me off of my feet and I ended up on damn near the exact same spot as Thorin had been. That's when I realised. The sounds of battle had stopped because I was alone. I was alone with the remaining orcs and their wargs. Alone with Azog. The damn birds had forgotten me.

* * *

><p>Peter waited, he watched the wizard heal the dwarf some. He watched everyone crowd round in worry and panic and he waited.<p>

"The Halfling." The dwarf asked breathlessly.

The wizard gave a small smile. "It's alright." He replied. "Bilbo is here, he is quite safe."

The dwarf was pulled to his feet by two others and then he surveyed the hobbit and began to yell. "You, what were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden." He began striding towards the hobbit. "That you would not survive in the wild. That you had no place amongst us." The dwarf was right up in the hobbit's face now. "I have never been so wrong, in all my life." He finished embracing a very shocked looking hobbit.

The dwarves all began to cheer. Then Thorin pulled back.

"I am sorry I doubted you." Thorin apologised.

The hobbit grinned shaking his head. "No, no, I would have doubted me too. I'm not a hero, or a warrior," Peter's gaze shifted to the dwarf he had really come to speak to, the one who was smiling brightly at the pair. "Not even a burglar." The hobbit finished looking at the wizard.

And that is when Peter stepped out.

The reaction was instant. He had weapons of every kind pointed at every part of his body he could imagine. The wizard, was the only one who smiled.

"Kill me if you want to." His voice was soft and gentle. "It won't matter much, I'm already dead."

The dwarves and the hobbit regarded Peter with curious eyes. "My name is Peter," He continued his hands up in a surrender motion. "I've just come to talk."

"He is being honest!" Announced the wizard sounding irritated. "Listen to the man, lower your weapons."

The dwarves suspiciously and slowly obliged. Peter shot a grateful glance at the wizard.

"Is she safe?" Asked Gandalf.

Peter smiled fondly. "There is more fight in her than there looks."

"Who are we talking about?" Growled Gloin still gripping his axe tightly.

Gandalf rolled his eyes in a rather exasperated manner. "Zalia of course," He replied gesturing to Peter who stood tall, nearly reaching Gandalf's own height. "This is her father!"

* * *

><p>I gulped the white warg strode towards me and the pale orc on top grinned down in a bone-chilling, spine-tingling manner. Rasping away in his orc language I couldn't understand a word he was saying.<p>

My voice shuddered as I spoke. "I'm not afraid of you."

The orc and warg stopped advancing at my words.

"I don't know if you can understand me." I announced my voice getting stronger as I stood, gripping Thorin's shield as tightly as I could behind my back in my bad hand. It was decidedly hard to hold onto, just between my thumb and palm. "But I am _not _afraid of you."

The pale orc twisted his head, the bones in his neck clicking as he stared at me.

"I probably should be, but I'm not. You are vile and cruel and mean Azog!" My voice had reached a trembling yell. "And that is all you'll ever be!" I spoke in low tones again. "And I refuse to be afraid, _of that_."

Spitting at his feet, I realised was probably not the best move. When he let out a roar like a lions I thought he was going to launch at me but I was surprised to see another orc sword swinging down. Reacting on pure instinct, hair blowing in my face obscuring my vision, I threw Thorin's shield up in front of me. I felt a tug and I realised the orc sword was stuck. Stumbling back in a hurry, I found myself directly on the edge of the cliff.

As Azog's mace came crashing down onto the shield, I fell.

* * *

><p>The reaction from the dwarves was instant, every one of them flew round in a circle eyes darting everywhere trying to find the female member of their company.<p>

"It's alright." Peter told them. "She's not here. But she will be."

"Where is she?!" Asked Thorin sounding panicked.

"Ohh…" Muttered Peter grinning slightly to himself. "I'd say about now she's having a conversation with a very _unfriendly_ orc."

The dwarves began to shout again and Peter bellowed his voice cutting across them. "WHICH IS WHY…" He coughed as they all looked towards him stunned into silence, and began again in a soft tone. "Which is why I have picked this time to come and speak to you."

"Us." Fili asked confused, stepping towards the man. Zalia had described him well, except he was in plain white clothing which was almost astoundingly bright. "What do you want with us?"

Peter smiled in a soft, friendly manner. "Son, can you think of nothing?"

Fili gulped.

* * *

><p>I was sure the orc had killed me. As I sailed through the air, falling faster and faster, wind whipping past me and hair lashing at my face; I was sure he had killed me. But I found myself gripping the shield, gripping my sword as if my life depended on it.<p>

The only thing I can really say about falling, is when you're flying down through a lot of nothingness, the things that are solid, draw every single ounce of your attention. Probably because somewhere deep down, you know the next solid thing you hit is going to hurt.

…._Or at least it's meant to hurt._

Feathers. Soft, safe, warm and comforting. That's what I hit that day. Feathers.

The loud eagle caw let me know exactly what had happened and with a slight struggle I managed to right myself, shoving my sword back into my scabbard as I went.

"You took your time." I informed the eagle snottily. "I'm sure none of the others had to fall that far."

The eagle let out another loud caw.

"I mean…" I smiled, in pure disbelief that I was still alive. "Thanks."

* * *

><p>"Firstly," Peter began, "I wanted to thank you."<p>

The dwarves eyes widened.

"Every single one of you. Zalia and I only had each other, and then when I died, she had no one. For you all to accept her so easily means more than I can ever put into words. She has the family I could never give her." He trailed off frowning slightly.

The dwarves waited patiently for him to continue.

"In our world, people are a lot more judgemental. Families mean next to nothing sometimes and it is just awful. Zalia found by having no mother and such an… oddity for a father, along with a strange name, being short and having a weird sense of humour made her an outcast." Peter looked down swallowing, when he looked back up the dwarves could see tears in his eyes. "Because she stood by me, because she worked three jobs from the age of sixteen as well as going to school to help us keep a roof over our heads and therefore couldn't attend the parties. Because of all that. And because she was Zalia, strange and quirky and stubborn and downright irritating at times, I don't think I ever saw the girl with one friend. Not one."

He took a moment to let this sink in.

"So you have to forgive her, for being the way she is with you. She doesn't understand how she's meant to act. She's still working it all out and I am ashamed to say half of that is my fault. I kept her close because after losing her mother I couldn't bear to lose her too. And it hindered the chance of any relationship she ever had. So thank you. Especially you two." He pointed to Bofur and Kili. "You have been the best friends she always dreamed of, I know it."

Turning to look at Thorin he continued. "And thank you. I left her too soon, very much so. And I'm glad to know she has someone to take my place."

Thorin looked at the man and shook his head. "I could _never_ take your place."

Peter grinned. "Perhaps not, but she's made a whole new one for you then." The men exchanged a look before Peter turned to Fili.

"And as for you!" Fili visibly jumped and the dwarves around him chuckled as Peter placed his hands firmly on Fili's shoulders. "I don't understand how the little girl I tucked into bed and told fairy tales too and danced around the house with has turned into the beautiful, strong, loving woman I see with you, but I knew the first time I saw you together it was only a matter of time."

Fili's mouth dropped open but Peter cut him off. "You haven't talked yet but you will." He took a few seconds bobbing his head up and down and biting his lip in a way Zalia often did when nervous. "Look after my girl, Fili."

Fili nodded stiffly taking the conversation on board seriously.

"I approve, I really do but it's still hard to give her away, and you might understand that yourself one day. So I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because it won't. Zalia's independent and she's not going to ever be a girl who is mollycoddled and kept out of the action. But look after her."

Fili swallowed thickly and looked up to stare Peter right in the eyes. "Yes sir."

They shared a swift look of understanding, and a caw broke the silence.

* * *

><p>"Seriously bird brain lower!" I muttered and the eagle carrying me cawed again dropping closer to the rock. I slipped off and landed on my feet, a jarring feeling running up my legs. "THANKS!" I yelled back to the bird smiling as it flew off.<p>

Thorin was the first to me. "Zalia where have you been?!" He demanded in his thick angry voice.

"I had a little trouble with tall, pale and ugly but it's cool. I got lucky." I lifted his shield and waved it at him. "Thought you might want this…although it's kind of broken." Giving a guilty look towards the orc sword in it as Thorin took the shield from my hand, I straightened up.

"Glad to see you were all devastated by my disappearance." I announced loudly looking round at the others when I heard a quiet chortle I hadn't heard in going on three years.

My eyes snapped up and I took off running before I had even thought about it. "Dad!" I shouted burrowing into his arms as he lifted me, giving me a tight hug before placing me back on the ground.

"Another case of things that are meant to be dead not staying dead eh?!" He smiled at me and I grinned at him.

"I don't think I'd mind this too much." I ran my eyes up and down him. "But you're not alive. Where are the dungarees? And the tie-dye?"

He ruffled my hair. "No I'm not alive. How've you been bug?"

I shrugged as I answered him, swinging my arms by my side. "Not too bad. Keeping things interesting. Fighting orcs, escaping goblins, nearly being eaten by trolls… you know… the usual."

Matching grins spread widely across both our faces. "The usual huh? ...Yeah I suppose it is."

"So… what are you doing here?" I asked him. "Not that it's not cool and all… slightly creepy" I trailed off for a second. "… but mostly cool."

Dad gave me a big grin and got down on his haunches so he was at my level. "Closure. Your life is here now. You have a great family. They may not take my place but they are your family bug. And I just wanted to make sure my little girl was looked after. Take care won't you angel?" He asked pulling me into another bone crushing hug.

Despite myself I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks as I nodded into his shoulder. "I love you Daddy." I murmured.

"I love you too bug." And then when I pulled back he was gone.

I took a couple of seconds to get my emotions in check and wipe the tears off my face, probably smearing the blood still on it everywhere.

"Well now that awkward moments over." I said turning to face the others. "Is that not a mountain?"

"Is that what I think it is?" Asked Bilbo looking towards the mountain I had pointed out.

* * *

><p>I felt oddly awed as Fili wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm so glad you're safe Mimur." He muttered into my hair. "I don't know what I'd do without you."<p>

"Don't be so dramatic." I replied quietly not wanting to ruin the momentous occasion everyone seemed to be having. "You'd be fine. I'm not that special."

His grip tightened and his voice deepened with frustration. "Yes you are. To me you are. You're…" He trailed off.

"I'm what?" I asked in a slightly shocked and awed voice.

I could have sworn I heard him murmur something before he said, "We need to talk soon."

I nodded in agreement. "As soon as we have a moment to ourselves."

* * *

><p>With that said we strode up the rock towards the mountain I had pointed at with everyone else and Gandalf announced. "Erebor, The Lonely Mountain, The Last of The Great Dwarf Kingdoms of Middle Earth."<p>

"Our _home_." Said Thorin sounding more upbeat than I'd heard in a while.

The whole thing was making me awestruck.

"A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain!" Said Oin.

"That my dear, Oin. Is a thrush!" Announced Gandalf.

I rolled my eyes. "Way to ruin the moment Gandalf."

Thorin grinned slyly at me as Kili stepped up beside Fili and I and I took his hand grasping it tightly in my good one.

"But we'll take it as a sign. A good omen." Thorin looked at Bilbo after he announced this.

"You're right," Bilbo replied. "I do believe the worst is behind us."

"Well… Now that's sorted." I said loudly, "How about we find a way down from here and find me a river?! I'd like to wash this blood off."

* * *

><p><strong>So now Zai has closure. <strong>

**On to part two and Fili and Zai should be spending more time close together now. That being said you have to understand how it is. They are on a quest after all. **

**Hope you liked it. **

**Rue**


	18. Kili The Amazing Irritation

"Is that a river?!" My voice was filled with childish excitement.

We'd trekked down the side of the huge rocks we were on, which Nori kindly informed me were called 'Carrock' and had been wandering through areas either spattered with trees or completely open for hours now.

Oin had kindly set my fingers, and when I say kindly what I _actually_ mean is he had five dwarves hold me down while he put them back into place and I shouted every curse word under the sun at him, (not that I think he could hear it), and had put them in a makeshift splint. The splint consisted of some rather straight, thick twigs and part of Dwalin's spare shirt.

And now as we wandered through a small wooded area I heard a sound which was like music to my ears. The soft tinkling, dripping, splashing sound of a river. I sprinted through the trees, rashly knocking branches out of my way and, from the slight 'ow' sounds the others were making, into them, until I finally saw it.

There in front of us was a beautiful clear creek, looking just about deep enough to bathe in. "Sweet Jesus!" I exclaimed dropping to my knees, "It's a river."

The dwarves who had caught up with me, panting slightly surveyed me with mild interest, Kili strode in front of me towards the river. _My river._

"No!" I yelped bouncing up running towards Kili, jumping on his back and leaning backwards so forcefully that we both tumbled to the floor. "That's my river!"

"Zai!" Kili whined struggling to unwrap my arms from around his neck. "Learn to share!"

We scuffled around on the floor for a few minutes, rolling over and over until finally I sat astride him grinning down triumphantly. "I'm not bathing with you!" I announced. "Wait your turn!"

"But whhhyyy?" Kili moaned sitting up and showing me, quite simply, that even if I thought I had the upper hand I didn't as I fell backwards off him sprawling to the floor.

"Ladies first!" I yelled scrambling to get up and run towards the river.

"Men just before!" He shouted grabbing my shoulder and yanking me back.

"Why did I ever teach you that?!" I asked him as I stuck out my leg tripping him and dived forwards towards the river again.

"KILI!" Thorin's voice was loud and firm over the laughter of the others at our childish antics. "Let Zalia bathe first, we can take our turn in a short while!"

Kili pouted and I stuck my tongue out at him like a small child. Just as I was about to start stripping off to get into the river I realised thirteen dwarves, one hobbit and one wizard were leaving.

"Wait!" I called, "Where are you going?! What if orcs attack and I'm _butt_ naked?!"

Fili chuckled as the others laughed, and when I say laughed, I mean loud booming laughter filled with joy and happiness the likes I haven't heard from any of us since that night in Bilbo's house.

"You'll be fine Mimur, we'll be just behind those trees and bushes, then you have privacy." He spoke as if he was explaining something to a small child.

"Oh," I replied embarrassed at my over-reaction. "Sure, sounds cool."

Suffice to say playing it off in a nonchalant way did not work. The dwarves walked off chuckling to themselves as I stripped down and waded in to the river.

"_It's freezing,"_ I sang to myself, _"But I'm bathing, bathing in the river, and it's lovely in the river, because I'm bathing and I'll soon be clean." _

I narrowed my eyes but ignored the laughter sounding from behind the bushes as I washed my hair the best I could and cleaned the large cut on my face. I noticed since coming to Middle Earth that my legs and armpits had stayed smooth; it seemed I had finally got something every girl in my world wanted, to _not_ have to shave. Here though it was just another thing that made me abnormal. Sighing to myself I began to wash the rest of my body.

"_Cleaning off the blood in the river, because the river is my friend, cleaning off the blood in the river, it's turning the water red!" _I finished on a high note as I waded from the river taking stock off all the cuts and bruises scattered over my body.

_All in all, I haven't done too badly._

Grinning, I quickly got back into my clothes, knowing we didn't have the luxury of spending time drying off, and shifted over to the river. Looking down and taking in my reflection for the first time since the fight was hard. There was obviously going to be a large scar down the right side of my face now and it was something that I was going to have to take time adjusting too.

"Mimur…?" I heard Fili call nervously from the bushes.

I sighed and called back lightly. "It's all good, I'm dressed."

Fili walked over to me and cocked his head, lowering himself down on his haunches, he observed me silently for a second. Gently, very gently, he placed his hand on my arm. "Mimur are you okay?"

"Yeah," I watched myself in the reflection running a hand lightly over the scar on my face looking troubled. "It's going to take some getting used to is all." I said dropping my hand, putting on my best smile and looking up at him.

Fili swallowed and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Wear it with pride. It say's my name is Zalia Lucas and I can take on any of you foul creatures. I am a survivor." He smiled at me sweetly, making my spirits lift in a way only Fili can.

I grinned back, "Yeah, it says, take that bitches. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough."

Chuckling to himself, Fili smirked. "Well I hope it doesn't _quite_ say that. I don't want people attacking you left, right and centre."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, eyes glinting with mirth before Kili had, just _had_, to ruin the moment. "GUYS I WANT TO BATHE TOO!"

* * *

><p>Fili was the first to walk back through the bushes to where I was sat with the few supplies we had managed to keep, scrubbing at my sword with another part of Dwalin's spare shirt. He strolled over to me and stood, just stood staring down at me in a way that made me realise for the first time, we were alone. Stowing my sword safely back into its scabbard I stood and mirrored his casual stance, one arm hanging loosely by my side the other wrapped nervously around my waist.<p>

"So…" I started.

"So…" He repeated with a cheeky smirk.

"We're alone."

He smiled at me, "Yes Mimur we are."

_This is your chance Zai, just tell him you're in love with him, that there is nobody else for you. That you can't imagine your life without him, wouldn't want to._

"Fili I–"

"Mimur." His voice cut me off stopping me short and he stepped towards me. I stepped away my back brushing the cool bark of a tree trunk. Stepping forwards again, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes shone with seriousness.

"Fili…" I began again intent on telling him everything I felt.

Once again he cut me off. "Mimur you must understand. I am a prince –"

This time I cut Fili off, my voice downtrodden as I stared at my hands which were ringing together nervously.

"And so you could never be interested in me. You need some dwarven noble woman with a beard and more stocky and stronger and not so _damn_ weird and -"

The force with which my body hit the tree stopped my words, I gasped as my head shot up my eyes roaming across Fili's face. He stared at me, eyes hard. His chest held me in place, between his body and the tree, and his arms were planted firmly on either side of my small frame.

"Don't say that!" His voice was barely controlled, his tone laced with anger. "Don't _ever_ say that."

I stared up at him open mouthed. The braids on his moustache were swaying side to side from the force of the movement and it occurred to me briefly that in any other situation, I probably would have found it funny. I would have laughed. Right now though, everything seemed oddly serious, tense.

"How you could _ever_ think I wouldn't want you." His voice almost a growl as his eyes bore into mine, he took a deep breath in and it shuddered out of him again, chest heaving with the motion. "How you could think I _care_ about those things. Those things are what make you, _you_. They are what _make_ me want you. How you come up with such _ridiculous _ideas I don't know!"

He took a few moments closing his eyes, still keeping me firmly in place with his body before he opened them again, looking more controlled but just as serious as before. His voice dropped a few octaves and he began, "What you need to understand is –"

"I feel lovely and clean and WOAH! Getting a little intimate there all out in the open aren't we?" I glanced over to see Kili stood watching us wiggling his eyebrows in a highly suggestive manner.

Fili's jaw twitched and he grit his teeth. "Brother." His tone was hard and commanding. "Leave."

"Fee, I entirely understand! She's just so alluring and–"

Kili flinched with me as Fili pushed himself off the tree and let himself fall back into place pounding his hands back down next to me so hard the tree shook.

"I said leave!" He snarled and his eyes looked startlingly ferocious.

It was the hardest tone I'd ever heard him use with Kili who scrambled back through the bushes as if he was about to be attacked by a wild animal.

"What you need to understand," He began for the third time, voice hard. "Is what exactly you're getting yourself into. I'd need heirs; we'd have to spend copious amounts of time on matters of state and I could easily die in some battle or other. I _want_ to make sure you're happy. I couldn't bear to think of you waking up in eighty years thinking you'd made a mistake. I _need_ you to be happy. You need to _know_ who you'd be spending the rest of your life with. What sort of life it would be. Just, just consider that before you say anything you can't take back."

And with that, he stormed back through the bushes, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

><p>I wasn't surprised at all when later on that day Kili sidled up to me as we were walking. "So…" He looked at me awkwardly. "What was all that about earlier?"<p>

"He didn't tell you?" At Kili's shake of his head I frowned, that in itself was confusing, I thought the brothers told each other everything. "That was Fili and I." I stated blandly. "_Talking._"

Kili took a deep breath in through his nose, his lips stuck firmly together, before. "Ah… so … how did it go?" The 'how did it go?' came out in one of those mocking, childish, suggesting tones just dripping with sarcasm; it was hard not to laugh.

"Excellently." I swallowed and frowned looking up slightly at Kili. "Actually he _advised_ me to make sure I know what I'm getting myself into. Make sure I _know_ him before I say anything I can't take back."

Kili scowled. "Well that's bull."

"KILI!" I admonished him, slapping him playfully on the arm. "You're a prince you can't be using my foul language!"

"It's true though." His face set grimly he continued, "I know what he means mind you. I might be seen as reckless, which I am, but I'm also calm, gentle, witty and charming deep down. I'm not saying Fili isn't all of those things too but…" Kili sighed heavily. "Fee is wild, unpredictable, ferocious and downright intimidating. He's infuriating actually." Grinning to himself Kili glanced at me. "And now he's self-sacrificing too."

I looked up at Kili a little alarmed. "Actually he was talking about him being a prince and what not..."

Kili took a deep gasp in through his teeth making a hissing noise and a 'oops' face. "Okay, well this is awkward... _I know_!"

_Oh God, nothing good can come out of that._

"LETS PLAY TWENTY QUESTIONS, EVERYONE GRAB A PARTNER!" Kili yelled like an excited child.

"When did I ever teach you this game?!" I moaned as everyone began partnering up.

"Just before Rivendell, I'm hurt you don't remember." Kili pouted crossing his arms over his chest and then grinned slyly giving me a cheeky wink. "No Ori, you can play with me I'm _fascinated_ by your scribe work…" He led Ori, poor little Ori, who had been coming towards me away with a face so comically shocked that I snorted.

And predictably, he left Fili and I.

"So." Fili muttered, "You told him."

"Is that a question?" I countered, "And for that matter I can't believe you didn't." The sky was getting dark as we traipsed on.

He shrugged in a non-committal way. "Wasn't any of his business."

I rolled my eyes, "You tell him everything, anyway we're getting off topic. What's your favourite colour?"

Fili smiled lightly as he caught my eye. "Blue, a deep, frosty blue. Yours?"

"Blue." I grinned back looking straight into his eyes. "But more like the sea, with the flecks of green in."

"Favourite food?"

"Bacon, most certainly bacon." He bobbed his head seeming pleased with his answer. "You?"

I groaned. "I find I appreciate food so much _more_ now that I'm missing out on certain things… cherries." I thought about it for a few seconds. "Yep let's go with cherries."

"Favourite story?"

"Easy, the story of creation. You?"

"Would you hit me if I said Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?"

Fili pounced on me tickling my sides, "Ahh!" I screeched, trying to escape but laughing too much to really go anywhere. "Joking! I'm_ joking_!"

* * *

><p>We all stood in the woods in the pitch darkness. The orcs, it seemed, had caught up with us. The idea of that alone had me shaking. I grasped Fili's hand tightly in my good one taking the little comfort that I could, we're all safe, for now. Bilbo had been gone scouting a while and although no one admitted it, we were all getting slightly jittery.<p>

_Come on Bilbo, where are you?! _My thoughts were becoming slightly desperate as I waited. Fili gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

Everybody's heads snapped round as one as Bilbo came running back to our hiding spot. Dwalin and Thorin advanced towards him.

"How close is the pack?!" Thorin demanded, his voice urgent.

"Too close." Bilbo replied in a rush. "But that is not the worst of it."

Dwalin cut in. "Did the wargs pick up our scent?"

Bilbo was standing in the centre as we all crowded round, still trying to regain his breath bless him. "Not yet," He puffed, "But they will do." He lifted his eyes and looked at us all in a way which made me think something was very wrong, very wrong indeed. "We have another problem."

"Did they see you? _They saw you!_" Said Gandalf in a low, worried and rushed voice as Bilbo span around to face him.

"No." Bilbo was sounding exhausted and fretful. I really felt for the poor hobbit. "That's not it."

"Hm." Gandalf motioned his head towards Thorin in a very self-satisfied manner. "What did I tell you? Quiet as a _mouse_. Excellent burglar material!"

The dwarves all began to nod in agreement and chatter between themselves.

"Would you listen?" Bilbo asked still out of breath.

I caught his gaze and he threw me a frustrated look.

"Everybody _shut it_!" I snapped angrily. "Can't you see he has more to say?!"

The others fell silent at my outburst eyes turning back to Bilbo.

"Thank you Zalia!" He exclaimed. "I'm trying to tell you there is something else out there!" He pointed back in the direction he came.

I took in a short, sharp breath at this and at the worried look on Thorin's face. Kili frowned at me looking troubled and Fili squeezed my hand again. Everyone had fallen silent.

"What form did it take?" Gandalf asked looking serious.

My eyes darted to his. "Why does that not sound reassuring?!" I whined.

Bofur grinned at me and gave me a nod. Kili patted me lightly on the back. I had come to think of Bofur and Kili as my best friends and having them still amused by my unhelpful input made me feel slightly better.

"Like a bear?" Gandalf continued.

"Ye-" Bilbo stopped mid-word looking quite puzzled. "Ye-yes but bigger. Much bigger."

Bofur sounded as scared as I felt. "You knew about this beast?"

"I'm starting to think Gandalf knows about everything." I said fixing the wizard with a hard stare.

"I say we double back." Bofur's tone was decidedly frightened now.

"Don't be a wimp." I put in.

"And be run down by a pack of orcs?" Thorin asked shooting me a 'really?' look.

I coughed in an embarrassed sort of way, "Yeah what he said."

Just as we all began to mutter among ourselves again about what to do Gandalf spoke loudly. "There is a house!" His tone became a little unsure. "It's not far from here, where we… _might_ take refuge?"

"Who's house?" Thorin probed. "Are they friend or foe?"

"I never thought I'd ever actually hear someone say that." I muttered, Fili shot me an amused glance as Kili snorted.

"Neither." Gandalf replied. "He will help us or… he will kill us."

"Well that is just _marvellous_.Just bloody _marvellous_. I'm in a _right_ hurry to go _there_."

Thorin shot me an irritated look. "What choice do we have?"

There was a loud, screeching sort of growl. "None." Gandalf dead-panned.

* * *

><p>We ran. We ran through the night. Across open fields, through rivers and streams and I was feeling decidedly worn-out. If I'm honest I was just sick of running.<p>

_It would be nice,_ I thought grimly as we ran with Gandalf shouting at us to 'come on' waving his arm in the direction we were running. _Once, just once! To go for a leisurely stroll._

We were just running through a wooded area, orcs on our trail when suddenly, we heard the terrible screeching, growl again. I turned with Bombur to look back and by god, Bilbo was right. The thing was like a bear, it was _huge_ though. Bigger than any bear I'd ever seen or heard of by far _and_ it was chasing us, like it wanted to eat us.

_We just can't have a normal day can we?!_

"THIS WAY!" Gandalf yelled, "QUICKLY!"

His shout spurred me back into action and I sped off again, sprinting in the direction everyone else was running in, I took over quite a few of them too. They hadn't seen the thing though. I had. And let me tell you, seeing it, makes a hell of a lot of difference.

"IN THE HOUSE! RUN!" Gandalf boomed.

Proving my point, Bombur, yes _Bombur_ started to overtake everyone as he ran. I told you. Seeing it makes oh so much of a difference.

"Come on! Get inside." Gandalf ordered as we ran through the gate.

To my dismay as I began slowing down I saw all the dwarves, and Bilbo, bouncing off of the large wooden door.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Gandalf shouted as he followed us in the beast now closing in.

"QUICKLY!" Thorin roared.

"THE LATCH YOU IDIOTS! THE LATCH!" I screamed pushing my way past them all, shooting upwards knocking the latch with my hands and making the door swing inwards. We all tumbled inside and I tripped straight over by the door groaning.

"Oh my god. Oh my fucking god." I muttered crawling backwards using my hands and feet to propel me, ignoring the pain that had exploded in my bad hand since knocking the latch, as the giant bear jaw was crushed between the two doors roaring at us.

Eventually with a heave the men managed to force the door shut and drop the giant plank into the holder, effectively locking the beast out. "That's my boys!" I exclaimed, fist pumping and still experiencing mild tremors.

Fili grinned as he made his way over to me still panting, I expected him to offer me his hand, he didn't, he bent down grasped me by the sides and lifted me up onto my feet. I wrapped my arms around his firm waist and laid my head on his chest. Enveloping me in his arms, Fili dropped a kiss on the top of my hair and rested his chin there.

Kili coughed and raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, yeah, I'm glad you're safe too." I said winking at him.

"What _is_ that?" Asked Ori turning from the door still looking stunned and freaked.

"That is our host." Gandalf announced ominously. "His name is Beorn. And he's a skin changer."

"_Brilliant_," I squeaked, "We're all going to die. Thank you Gandalf!" I finished in a huff.

Gandalf ignored my little breakdown but the others shot me understanding looks and Fili's hold on me intensified.

"Sometimes," Gandalf continued, "He is a huge black bear, and sometimes he's a great strong man. The _bear_ is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with."

Fili, Kili and I were doing a little exploring during Gandalf's speech.

"However," Gandalf continued making us all stop next to a _humongous_ table. "He's not over fond of dwarves."

"Well that is just the _greatest_. I'm small even in comparison to you guys!" I exclaimed using my bandaged hand to wave at the dwarves. "This place makes me look practically _minuscule_. He's really going to _love_ me."

Gandalf pursed his lips and sent me a considering look. "Hmmm." He muttered.

_I do not like that look. I do not like it at all._

"He's leaving." Ori whispered from his spot still by the door making me grin in a rather guilty way. I mean technically we had just stolen the man's home but still…

"Come away from there!" Said Dori grabbing his brother and yanking him back. "It's not natural, none of it." He looked up at Gandalf with a grimace. "It's obvious." He spat, "He's under some dark spell!"

"Don't be a fool!" Gandalf bit back. "He's under no enchantment but his own."

Walking over towards me, where I now stood alone by the table and taking off his hat Gandalf announced, "Right now get some sleep all of you, you'll be safe here tonight." He paused and lowered his voice. "I hope."

I gasped and Gandalf looked down at me in what I think he thought was an encouraging way. It wasn't.

* * *

><p>Everyone fell asleep quickly; they all picked spots on the hay and were out like lights. I however did not manage to do the same. Gandalf's words were playing round my head and I was jumping at every little noise, every little creek. Especially now it was dark. Gulping I searched for Fili and Kili and found them with a gap in between on the same pile of hay near some goats.<p>

I nervously tugged at my hair. I didn't want to wake them up, they hadn't slept this well in so long. Sighing fretfully I turned round. _I'll just go over there and-_

"Mimur?" Fili's sleep filled voice rumbled out of his chest and made me blush. It was adorable. "Wassa matter?" He yawned.

I turned back round and walked towards him still jittery. "Nothing, I'm fine… I…"

"Mimur you're shaking!" Fili exclaimed quietly as he tugged me down into his lap.

I looked at him, biting my lip and sighed when I realised he was staring at me, not looking as if he was going to go back to sleep at all.

"I'm scared." I whispered.

"Oh Mimur." Fili dropped a soft kiss on the top of my head and sighed, gathering me closer into his arms. "Come here, it'll be alright."

I must say, _that_ was the best night's sleep I'd had in a long while.

* * *

><p><strong>So, getting into the start of DoS now. <strong>

**Told you there would be a bit more Fili/Zai interaction. **

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Rue**


	19. Stories and Sickness

"What's that?"

Fili and I were lying in the hay the next morning and had been waiting for everyone to wake up, for about an hour now. I was still encased in his strong arms and he had been asking about my jewellery for roughly the last half an hour. I glanced down, settling my gaze on the ring he pointed to.

"It's a Claddagh ring." I said the Gaelic word rolling easily off my tongue.

Fili frowned. I noticed Kili watching us with interest and the others, who it seemed, had finally awoken looking over with curiosity too. I grinned at them and sat up properly crossing my legs, even Thorin had gathered round for story time. I slipped the ring off of my finger and passed it to Fili so he could show the others. As the ring was passed round, each dwarf carefully examining it, I began my story.

"You see, where I come from there's only humans. But we have lots of different countries separated by seas. So if I was to say someone's a different race to me, I wouldn't mean a dwarf and a hobbit for example, I would mean someone from a different ethnic background." I glanced around; it seemed everyone was following me so far. "So dad and I lived in England. Which was a little island nation joint with Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland to make Britain and at one point the British Empire spanned across the whole world. It was small in comparison to everywhere else, but mighty. We still had a queen when I… left, but she didn't have any _real_ power any more. The country was ruled by parliament, which is a body of people we elected by a vote. The more votes each political party got the more seats they had in government. They ruled, made laws and the consequences for breaking them, you understand?"

The dwarves were looking at me, nodding eagerly and I realised that this was probably the most I'd ever told them about my world.

"Anyway, it's actually a lot more complicated than that but still. My dad originally came from Ireland, it's tradition there for a family member to present a child with a Claddagh ring when they come of age. It's our braid…sort of. Depending on how you wear the ring it shows others if you're available to be… courted?" I questioned not sure I was using the right word.

Kili nodded and I noticed Ori writing this all down in his book with a smile.

"If I wear it with the heart pointing out on my right ring finger, it means I'm available, if I wear it with the heart pointing in it means I'm in a serious relationship. If I wear it on my left ring finger with the heart pointing out I'm engaged to be married, and if I wear it on my left ring finger with the heart pointing in I'm married."

The ring had finally got back to me; I slipped it on my right finger, heart pointing outwards.

"So what's the back-story lassie?" Bofur asked in an excitable kind of voice.

"There are two major stories: The first says; Margaret Joyce inherited a huge amount of money from her late husband named Domingo de Rona. He was a wealthy Spanish merchant trading with Galway in Ireland. She later married the Mayor of Galway in fifteen ninety six, (Oliver Og French), and used her inherited wealth to construct many bridges in Connacht. The first Claddagh ring was supposed to be her providential reward dropped by an eagle into her lap. The second says; a native of Galway by the name of Richard Joyce was captured by the Algerians and sold as a slave to a Moorish goldsmith. Later in sixteen eighty nine William the third of England demanded the release of all British subjects and Richard Joyce was released from slavery too. The Moorish goldsmith offered Richard Joyce a major portion of his wealth and also his only daughter in marriage, if he agreed to stay in Algiers. The story goes that, Richard Joyce refused all the tempting offers and returned to his native city with the first Claddagh ring."

When I finished speaking the dwarves all sat and stared at me for a moment, before bursting out in tandem:

"Which one is right?"

"Can you tell us more?"

"Are there any more stories like that?"

"Wow."

"Where did you get the ring?"

Eventually Gandalf took pity on me and gave a large cough. "It would seem prudent to assume Zalia received the ring when she turned of age, AND now if you're all quite done…" He waited for anyone to argue, _they didn't_. "Our host has returned."

* * *

><p>Deciding it was the polite thing to do, although really not what I wanted to do, everyone let Beorn in. The man was frightening, honestly he was <em>mountainous<em>. His arms were wider than _Bombur_ and he had a scruffy, greyish-black forked beard. He also sported a Mohawk like hairstyle. _Mohawk's are intimidating enough on somebody regular sized!_

When he came inside, I don't think at first he was too happy to see us. I was just beginning to get a bit worried that he might decide to step on us and squish us all when he spoke in the most twisted language I have ever heard.

_Oh my dear, we're screwed._

In actuality his words did no harm apart from the fact that they made me flinch.

_Is that… Am I really seeing this?_

I had to rub my eyes as I saw Beorn's dogs getting on their hind legs, helping him set the table, he had taught them how to carry things to him and the language he was speaking was him telling them what to do. As I watched I realised it was quite amazing actually.

The dwarves, everybody with a little trouble, climbed up to sit at the huge table. I however, could not. I wouldn't have been able to get up if I tried and, to top it all off, with my broken hand climbing wasn't exactly at my skill level for the time being.

I crossed my arms over my chest, pouting at my sheer inability when quite suddenly there was a large face in front of me, "And what are you?" It asked, Beorn it appeared had noticed me.

"I'm a dwarf!" I squeaked at the same time Fili yelled, "She's nothing!"

Beorn gave us both amused glances.

"What they mean to say is Zalia is not originally from this world, and although she appears to be a dwarf now, she has retained aspects of her appearance from before." Gandalf corrected giving Fili and I withering looks.

_Way to drop us in it there Gandalf mate._ I thought watching as Beorn studied me closely. And honestly I mean that. His face was right next to me, and it was bigger than me too, who would have thought?

Carefully Beorn reached down towards me and I flinched closing my eyes and turning away slightly. At the sound of a thunderous chuckle, they snapped open. Beorn's hand was lying next to me on the floor and he was laughing at me.

_Not sure whether to be perturbed or offended…._

"It is safe little one." His deep voice filled with laughter he looked down at me, "I do not intend you any harm, I am offering assistance."

Glancing from his hand to the table and back again, I nervously walked on, as soon as I was on his hand Beorn lifted his arm.

"Woah!" I muttered grabbing his thumb to avoid falling over. I grinned down at Kili and Fili. "Guys this is awesome! You totally have to try this!"

Chuckling again at my enthusiasm he placed me between Fili and Kili. "That was so fun!" I exclaimed grabbing Fili's arm with my good hand. Fili gave me a soft smile then looked up frowning slightly at Beorn as he poured milk into a cup … a cup I wasn't even sure Fii would be able to lift, from a jug I was _pretty sure_ we could drown in.

"So you are the one they call Oakenshield." Beorn's voice was a low, harsh growl and yet, not unfriendly as he spoke to Thorin who was sat, his back against a large beam behind Fili, Kili and I. "Tell me, why is Azog The Defiler hunting you?"

_I feel we are stepping into dangerous territory. _

"You know of Azog," Thorin's voice sounded, equally rough and deep, from behind me. "How?" He turned to face Beorn and I found myself more focused on the conversation than on breakfast.

Fili poked me in the side and nodded towards my food, I waved him off, ripping a bit off a huge piece of toast and continuing to follow Beorn with my eyes, interested to hear his answer.

"My people were the first to live in the mountains," He sighed deeply and I had a feeling this was going to be another one of those stories which made me want to cry. "Before the orcs came down from the north, the defiler killed most of my family…"

_I feel as if that is meant to be shocking, but… it is decidedly not. Azog is just that type of guy._

It was then I noticed a large shackle clasped around Beorn's wrist with a thick chain dangling from it, broken. I gasped and put my hands over my mouth abandoning the attempt at eating.

"…but some he enslaved. Not for work you understand but for sport…" Beorn's voice took on a disgusted tone, displaying how despicable he found the act.

"Bear baiting…" I murmured, obviously louder than I thought.

His eyes shot to me. "How do you know of it?"

I gulped "In my world, people did it with normal bears, we didn't have skin-changers there you see. It was mostly in third world countries, the poor countries. They used to torture the bears to make them dance, amusing tourists. It was _disgusting_. It was outlawed, but people still did it, it was just _awful, vile and cruel._" I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. "I'm sorry your people had to experience that."

As Beorn nodded at me and continued on with his story, I caught a flicker of respect in his eyes. Fili squeezed my waist.

"…Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him." Beorn fell silent poring milk into Ori's cup.

"There are others like you?" Asked Bilbo.

I steeled myself for the answer. I felt I was getting a pretty good idea of what Azog was like and, it didn't seem he would have left many of them alive.

Beorn's face fell into an accepting, sad and wistful expression. "Once there were many."

Bilbo kept his eyes trained on Beorn's face. "And now?" _Oh god Bilbo just shut up! _

"Now there is only one." Sighing and finally placing the jug down Beorn asked, "You need to reach the mountain before the last days of autumn?"

_I feel he may have already known that._

"Before Durin's day falls, yes." Gandalf acknowledged this statement was correct, while he sat puffing away on his pipe.

"You are running out of time." Beorn announced sitting down.

_God, everyone's so bloody cheery. _

I must have let out some sort of huff with the thought because Fili caressed my back in a calming manner; I shot him a weak smile.

"Which is why we must go through Mirkwood." Gandalf proclaimed.

Beorn's eyes widened at this statement, almost imperceptibly, but I caught it. "A darkness lies upon that forest," He warned, "foul things creep beneath those trees. There is an alliance between the Orcs of Moria and the necromancer in Dol Guldur, I would not venture there." He looked at the table and raised his eyebrows in a warning. "Except in great need."

_Necro-what now? Why is this the first I'm hearing of a necromancer?_

Gandalf cut him off quickly. "Which is why we will take the elven road. That path is still safe."

* * *

><p>Fili unlatched his arm from around my waist and picked up the large jug, taking a long drink. I watched him enviously.<p>

"Mimur?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

I waved my broken hand and he chuckled, holding it out towards me, "I swear Fili if you tip any on me…"

He raised his eyebrows in a gesture I took to mean 'would I?' and I gave him one more worried glance as I leaned forwards to take deep gulps. I lightly put my hand on his and pushed when I'd finished and he got the idea.

"Thanks." I muttered wiping my mouth on my sleeve. _How embarrassing, he had to feed me like a child._

While this interaction was happening the conversation continued.

* * *

><p>"Safe?" Growled Beorn in his slow, deep voice. "The wood elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin, they are less wise, and more dangerous…. But it matters not."<p>

My eyes were practically glued to Beorn as soon as I took my lips from the rim of the cup.

"What do you mean?" Asked Thorin, I glanced behind me and realised he had got up and strolled a little way across the room, but his eyes were wide and slightly worried as he looked at Beorn.

"These lands are crawling with orcs, their numbers are growing and you are on foot you will never reach the forest _alive_."

_It seriously feels like there should be some creepy music playing here… _

I groaned dropping my head into my hands. "Well that's totally encouraging." Then I shook my bad hand with an 'ouch'.

"No one said you had to leave with them." Beorn replied looking at me in what I imagined was meant to be a kind fashion.

Fili and Kili each grabbed at my side as the others shot me looks of distress.

I steeled myself, gritting my teeth and looked Beorn straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry but I do. My place is with them."

He frowned considering this for a second before standing up and moving towards Thorin. "I don't like dwarves, they're greedy and blind. Blind to the lives of those they deem _lesser_ than their own."

He picked up a mouse Dwalin had knocked off of his arm and looked over at me, "Not you. You are different…"

I just stared back; I mean _really!_ What does one say to that without offending either the giant skin-changer or the dwarves?

Beorn continued his stride towards Thorin, "But Orcs I hate more." His eyes were so wide I thought they might pop out of his head. He glanced back at me and then rested his eyes firmly on Thorin. "What do you need?"

* * *

><p>To his credit, Beorn didn't say a word about the amount of stuff we told him we needed. And we needed a <em>lot <em>of stuff. Not just food, but other supplies as well as the use of his ponies, the list seemed ridiculously long actually.

_I suppose the food wasn't such an issue, Beorn must ingest the same amount as we all do together, in a snack… the dwarves do eat a lot… maybe in a meal._

Beorn strode around watching the dwarves carefully as they loaded his ponies. Coming to stand next to me he got down on his haunches.

"You are not helping?" He queried my dis-involvement and I scrunched up my face, pulling my mouth to one side and shrugged waving my injured hand.

"I broke it, or rather… the goblins did." I sighed, "I can't really be much help at the moment."

Beorn eyed me curiously for a second and then said, "Do not let them taint you, be the voice of reason when it seems all reason is lost."

"Dude." I stated trying hard not to chuckle. "You are talking to the wrong person. I am the _least_ likely voice of reason you will ever meet… and anyways they're not that bad yanno."

Flashing his teeth in what I hoped was meant to be a smile Beorn replied. "Your sense of loyalty is unwavering, it is a good trait but do not let it mar your judgement. When it matters you will see what I mean." And with that last confusing statement he got up once more and began to stride around again.

"I swear!" I muttered to myself. "I'm starting to think everyone in this god forsaken place not on this quest is as cryptic as Gandalf. Can no one just speak normally for once?"

"You look frustrated!"

"KILI!" I jerked my hand grabbing at my chest. "If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times! Stop doing that!"

"You know." Kili grinned thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "You sound just like my mother."

"And _you know, _that action would be a lot more impressive if you had a beard right?"

He smacked me on the arm in a playful manner. "I'm an archer!" Waving his hands around his head rather comically he strode away yelling back, "Arrows and stuff!"

I clutched my side and laughed. It felt good, slightly refreshing and I found by the time I'd finished and Kili was helping me onto Fili's pony, I felt much better about the journey which still lie ahead.

* * *

><p>"Don't scratch!" Fili slapped my hand away from my face which had once again risen of its own accord to the scabbing on the cut.<p>

"Urgh!" I moaned leaning back into him, "It itches!"

"Mimur." He said in a serious tone, giving me the look my dad used to give me when he was warning me not to do or say something.

I pouted and gripped tightly onto the front of the saddle as we rode hard pushing the ponies as fast as they could go. We needed to reach Mirkwood without getting caught by the orcs that was for certain. No one really spoke much on the journey, it was a tense ride, not at all like the slow, rambling one we had taken out of the shire all those months ago.

When we finally reached the edge of Mirkwood, _for once_ without anything untoward happening (massive win), I felt glad to be off of the pony. If I was going to survive here I would need to dedicate some time to learning to ride without practically killing my legs, that was for sure.

As we were dismounting the ponies however, it didn't take me long to realise Beorn had been right. There was something seriously wrong with this forest… It just looked wrong! I shivered as Gandalf beckoned me closer to the entrance of the forest. Everyone else was busy sifting through the supplies so I slipped off rather easily.

_Who said it's only hobbits that can be quiet?_

"The elven gate." Gandalf muttered to me as I stopped next to him.

I surveyed the forest distastefully. "You. _Cannot_. Be serious." My eyes roamed over the trees, it had good reason for having a name like 'Mirkwood' I flashed my eyes back up at Gandalf. I was sure they were shimmering with unexpressed worry. "Seriously? Dude this place is whack!"

The wizard frowned down at me. "Very 'whack' indeed, my dear, very 'whack' indeed." He turned his head and raised his voice, "HERE LIES OUR PATH THROUGH MIRKWOOD!"

His sudden booming announcement caught everyone's attention. "No sign of the orcs." Dwalin stated still sitting atop his horse. "We have luck on our side." He dismounted.

"Don't do _that_!" I cried out voice rife with panic. "Don't jinx it!"

Dwalin raised his eyebrows at me along with the other dwarves as I slapped my good hand against the side of the fence, "Touch wood, touch wood, touch wood."

Looking up at Gandalf seriously I stated, "I'm not sure if it works if the wood is bad."

He chuckled before his face turned serious once more. "Set the ponies loose." He ordered. "Let them return to their master."

"This forest feels…" Bilbo walked closer towards Gandalf and I as he searched for the right word. "_Sick._" He finally decided.

I nodded, swallowing thickly an unpleasant look on my face.

"As if a disease lies upon it…" Bilbo continued nodding in acknowledgement of my agreement. "It there no way around?"

Gandalf took hold of my wrist on my bad hand as he answered Bilbo, walking into Mirkwood and pulling me with him. "Not unless we go two hundred miles north, or twice that distance…south." He trailed off.

I tried in vain to stop my body chattering as we walked into the forest. The further we got in the more worry I felt.

"Gandalf…" He continued walking slowly along but glanced down at me to let me know he was listening as I followed, "Why am I in here?"

"I believe… this forest will have no effect on you. No more than right now, because you sense the concentrated evil which does not exist in your world." I processed his words for a few seconds.

"So… you're testing a _theory?_" I whimpered. "Not cool man, not cool."

Gandalf looked at me earnestly, "If we find what I think we'll find, that will be very important."

"What…" My mouth had gone suddenly dry. "What do you expect to find?"

As he yanked some leaves back quickly, I got my answer.

"That." I stated staring at the thing painted on the elven statue. "That is not good."

"No…" Gandalf muttered in agreement. "Not good at all."

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope you liked this chapter?<strong>

**Struggled a little with getting everything in I needed to in a concise way. Oh and I'm not sure how big precisely Beorn's meant to be but looking at him in the film in comparison with the dwarves I figure if Zai's about Bilbo's height but more petite then everything mentioned would be possible. If I'm completely wrong I apologise.**

**Thanks for all the fab reviews, favs, and follows.**

**Rue**


	20. Temporary Insanity

"The high fells…" Gandalf muttered to himself, he was looking decidedly grim as I surveyed the mark on the statue.

_I've seen that before, I've definitely seen that before…but where? And why does it give me the damn shakes!_

My knees were knocking, I was shuddering and quaking, practically pulsating with fear. It was becoming hard to focus, hard to breathe…

"Very well…" Gandalf continued muttering to himself before addressing me; laying a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Do not stray from your path… it would be wise for none of you to stray from _the_ path, but if it becomes necessary then ensure you do not stray from _your_ path, Miss Lucas, that is of _vital_ importance."

The weight of his hand lifted as I stared at the statue puzzled. _The path… my path… what the bloody hell is he on about? _

I twisted, ready to ask Gandalf exactly what that was meant to mean when I saw him striding out of the forest entrance and leaving me on my own. Completely freaking out I took off in the direction of the elven gate, and steamed out of it, scrambling around like a slight loon. Gandalf was already marching towards the dwarves who were just about to unsaddle his horse.

"NOT MY HORSE!" He yelled, "I NEED IT!"

Just as I cried out, slightly hysterical, "What the hell are you playing at?! You don't just leave a person alone in a place like that?!"

If I thought I was shaking before, I was practically vibrating by the time Fili reached me. He enveloped me in his strong arms with a face showing mild horror at my condition. Clamping down tightly onto his forearms and pulling myself as close to him as I could get, my teeth began to chatter and I whimpered pathetically.

His hold loosened making me grasp at him more firmly still. I vaguely registered the flashes of worry on the dwarfs' faces when I looked at them before they had chance to mask it. Fili began caressing my back, rubbing a hand gently and soothingly round in circles muttering and murmuring words of comfort my brain couldn't process.

"What's the matter with Mimur?!" He demanded of Gandalf eyes blazing with fury. "What did you do?!"

"I did nothing Master Dwarf!" Gandalf looked affronted that Fili had accused him of being responsible for my condition. "Zalia is feeling the effects of coming in touch with the shroud of darkness over that forest, she will be fine! Give her a minute and all will be well!"

I hated to admit it but Gandalf was right. As I nudged my head into Fili's chest and listened to his harsh breathing rattling in and out, his steady heartbeat thumping away, I could feel myself beginning to calm down. It was as if the tension making up the nervous wreck I had become began slipping and sliding out of my body through my feet.

Fili leaned his head and shoulders back slightly, studying me with cool, sharp eyes.

"Mimur?" He sounded unsure, for the _first time_ since I had met him, Fili sounded hesitant, uncertain.

"Don't leave me." I whimpered into his chest, my voice sounding muffled. "_Please_, don't leave me."

Fili inhaled deeply, a colossal breath, his chest heaving with the motion. Looking down on me, eyes obstinate, determined he whispered, "Never Mimur, never." He brushed his lips against my forehead and I felt better, safer.

* * *

><p>When it became clear to everyone that my condition was improving, the conversation continued.<p>

Everyone looked back to Gandalf in shock, "You're not leaving us?" Bilbo asked slightly breathlessly.

Gandalf's face hardened marginally, "I would not do this unless I had to." He puffed out a few breaths and then looked down to Bilbo. "You've changed Bilbo Baggins, you're not the same hobbit as the one who left the shire."

"I was going to tell you…" Bilbo began, making me try to listen in desperately on their conversation. "I… found something in the goblin tunnels."

Eyeing Bilbo closely Gandalf asked, "Found what?" He twisted his head to the side slightly, "What did you find?"

Gandalf was blocking my view of Bilbo so I couldn't see his reaction, but I didn't think he said what he was planning on saying. His answer was, "My courage." And I wasn't _entirely_ convinced with that.

Considering him carefully for another half a second, Gandalf reared up, "Good, well that's good." And then he announced rather ominously, "You need it."

_That does not sound good._

Marching back through the rest of us where we were all grouped, me still tightly clinging to Fili, Gandalf announced, "I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe." He looked down at Thorin, "Do not enter that mountain without me."

Addressing the whole company again he said, "This is not the greenwood alone, the very air of the forest is heavy with illusion, it'll seek to enter your mind and lead you astray."

Bilbo looked particularly worried by this, "Lead us astray?" He asked lowly. "What does that mean?"

"You must stay on the path," Gandalf persisted. "Do not leave it, if you do… you will never find it again." By this point he was astride his horse and I was getting fretful about going back into that dreaded forest. "NO MATTER WHAT MAY COME, STAY ON THE PATH!" He yelled behind him, riding off.

Thorin, frowning slightly, turned and walked through the group, beginning to lead us towards the forest entrance. "Come on, we must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin's day. We've got one chance to find the hidden door!"

Fili hitched the pack he was carrying further over one shoulder and grasped my hand firmly in his as we separated, I held on fiercely.

_Something bad is going to happen. _I gulped entering through the elven gate. _I can just feel it._

* * *

><p>"The path turns this way!" Announced Thorin as he strode into the wood, leading the company.<p>

Everyone was looking up, looking around. The gnarled trees were turning black and they looked somehow twisted, demented, deformed. There were leaves scattered all over the ground although the trees were thick blocking out the light from the sun. The place just had an air of misery about it. An air of death and decay. It made me shiver.

For the first few days we managed to stay on the path, camping along it, keeping watch in pairs or threes. I didn't sleep well, I hardly slept at all. It was too unnerving; only from exhaustion was I managing to get any rest. Always the same, falling asleep curled into Fili's side _knowing _he would protect me.

We were running out of meat, of proper sustenance. The forest felt like it stretched on forever and I was never sure if it things were getting as desperate as they seemed, or if the forest was starting to affect everyone's minds. We were becoming tired and irritable, Kili and Fili began snapping and sniping at each other which made no sense, they were closer than close. You never got one without the other, except when they were forcefully separated. It was becoming more and more troublesome for me to relieve myself, what should have been a simple matter became horribly complicated. Knowing who was secure enough in their sanity to wait through the trees for me, not wander off or become lost on the return, who could keep the path in their sight when stepping ever so slightly astray...

By what I'm calling the fifth day in the forest, (though whether it was the fifth or fifteenth I couldn't say without the sun and from lack of a proper sleeping pattern), we ran out of food. At first Kili tried to hunt with his bow, without leaving the path we could do this quite successfully, but it didn't work. On the evening of the second day without food, he caught a rabbit. Everyone was overjoyed but the creature just didn't _look_ right. I knew then, whether they managed to eat it or not I wouldn't be ingesting any myself. I didn't want that_ thing_ in my system.

When it came to trying to skin the rabbit, prepare it to be cooked we realised how hard it was. At first we thought it was rigour-mortise setting in on the tough meet, but when Gloin and Dwalin eventually broke through the skin, black slimy goo began oozing out. It looked like bad tar and smelled like rotting flesh. I gagged.

The rabbit was thrown as far away from us as we could manage and Dwalin and Gloin used some of our sparse water supply to wash their hands with, almost the last of it. The very next evening, we heard a river. And that is where things went _terribly, terribly_ wrong.

* * *

><p>"I don't think we should touch it." I tried to stress my point to the company.<p>

Bifur spoke quickly in Khudzul and Gloin nodded, translating. "We need water lassie."

"What?" Asked Oin loudly, he'd been missing a lot of conversations without his ear trumpet anyway and now we were in this awful place…well.

I glanced down at the water which looked dark and foreboding. "I know, but not that water. It looks…"

"Dangerous." Bilbo finished for me. "It looks dangerous." I gave him a thankful nod.

Ori sniffed, he was usually so upbeat and when my eyes landed on his face, looking pale and scared, my heart nearly broke. "We're going to die in here aren't we?"

"Don't be stupid Ori. Of course we're not!" Kili scoffed.

"Hey!" Fili yelled shoving his brother. "Don't call him stupid."

They broke out into a skirmish, wrestling each other on the floor, it was all becoming too much, too overwhelming. "STOP!" I shouted, trying hard to stop myself from breaking out into tears and shocking the whole company into silence. "Just stop."

They stared at me. "Zalia." Thorin began and I knew he was about to attempt to brush off my words, probably because I was getting emotional.

"No," I said cutting him off. "We're all tired and we're all hungry and we're all irritable. Fighting with each other is not going to help." I fixed everyone with a hard gaze.

Fili and Kili looked sheepish.

"The lass is right." Balin spoke up, one of the ones who had a clear-ish head still. "We need to carry on."

"Ori," I said calmly rubbing my hand up and down his shoulder to cheer him up. "We'll be fine, the body can survive without food and water for a while yet and we'll be out of here before that. Before you know it." I wrapped my arms around the young dwarf as he began sobbing. "Shhh. It's okay, it'll be alright."

The others stared at me. It was as if they'd realised for the first time that I was a woman. The way they observed me for a second was rather close and forceful and then suddenly everyone wanted hugs. Fili explained that dwarfs are close to their mothers and it wasn't entirely far-fetched to think that having someone to mother them would help them continue on. _Even a beardless someone._

"Thorin." I looked at him imploringly, "We need to cross the river," Pointing to where the path picked up on the other side I said. "But I don't think we should touch it."

He allowed his eyes to roam over me for a while, considering the thought, smacking his dry mouth together. "I think…"

"Doesn't look too bad to me!"

Our heads snapped round to see Bombur leaning over the river. "BOMBUR NO!" I yelled but it was too late. With an almighty SPLASH he had fallen in.

Bofur immediately reached out for his brother. He caught him by the hand and yanked him towards the bank. "Help!" He shouted.

The others jumped into action, rushing forwards and dragging Bombur out of the river, we all looked down at him concerned.

"He's sleepin'" Nori announced.

"When will he wake up?" Bofur asked sounding desperate and, I found, looking to me for the answer.

I swallowed thickly, "I don't know Bofur, I just don't know."

* * *

><p>I had never been so glad of Thorin and his bossy ways until that day. He shifted into action mode immediately, having people lean off the path to snatch strong looking boughs of wood and others tying the wood together making a small raft and oars. It took the best part of a day but we had a raft.<p>

Getting over the lake on the raft was harder. We had to send some people over first and then Bofur with Bombur so he had help pulling Bombur onto land. Attaching a rope at both sides of the raft was a good idea, it meant we could pull it either way without it floating off downstream.

Everyone went across the river in two's and when we were finally across we moved just a little further up the path and camped, waiting for Bombur to wake up.

He slept for a day and a half, before snapping awake his mouth watering, looking viciously disappointed at something. "I dreamed I was at a feast." He told the group. "A great feast in the forest. There was ale and wine and every food you could imagine."

He looked around and then clapped merrily pointing, "Like that one there. Look! There are sausages and pork pies! Cookies and eggs! Cheese and fish!"

As Bombur pointed to this feast I noticed each dwarves eyes, the hobbit's too for that matter, glazing over one by one. Bombur began to walk towards the feast but Thorin pulled him back. After a small argument I could see Thorin's eyes finally begin to glaze too.

I stepped in front of Fili and Kili who stared at the wood behind me. "Guys!" I desperately snapped my fingers in their faces, "Guy's there is nothing there!" They began to walk past me from either side to the imaginary feast. I tugged on their sleeves. "Fili!" I smacked his arm. "Kili!" I smacked his arm too. "Snap out of it!"

They didn't. Every single dwarf strode from the path towards a feast which didn't exist. Bilbo with them. When they got to the spot the feast was meant to be in they realised it had disappeared.

"No!" They cried out, grumbling and groaning.

Thorin who was walking behind Nori suddenly bumped into him as the dwarf stopped.

"Nori, why have we stopped?!" He demanded.

"The path!" Nori sounded oddly sleepy, almost as if he was high. "It's disappeared!"

"What's going on?" Called Oin.

Dori shouted back, "The path we've lost it!"

"Well find it!" Thorin called desperately, "Find it all of you! Look!" He sounded more and more irritated by the second. "Look for the path!"

I waved, I jumped, I whistled, I shouted. I tried everything I could to show them where I was, still stood, feet firmly planted on the path. It made no difference; none of them could see me. None of them could find the path. I briefly considered going over and dragging them back before I remembered Gandalf's words about not leaving _the _path unless I had to, in which case I was meant to follow _my _path.

The dwarves walked round in circles for days. Every now and again they would pass me, each time in worse shape than before. It was like a slow torture to watch.

* * *

><p>"Air, I need air!" Bofur sounded desperate and unhinged as they walked past.<p>

"My head!" Announced Oin sounding equally desperate. "It's swimming! What's happening?!"

"I don't remember this way." Balin muttered shaking his head. "None of it's familiar."

They were stood not three feet from me and I called out again, just in the hopes they would answer. When they didn't it made tears prick at my eyes.

I noticed Bilbo sat by a large spider's web looking thing, he pinged it, once, twice and then they began walking again. This time in smaller circles, Bofur dropped his tobacco pouch as they left.

"Look" Ori said in a quiet voice which was almost a whisper the next time they came round as he scooped Bofur's pouch off the floor.

Dori took it off him and speaking in a lucid voice said, "A tobacco pouch. There's dwarves in these woods!"

"Dwarves from the blue mountains no less," Bofur took his pouch looking at it in a rather dazed manner. "This is exactly the same as mine."

"Because it is yours!" Bilbo cut in. "Do you understand? We are going round in circles," He spun his hand round with his finger pointing up to indicate the circular motion. "We are lost!"

"We are not lost." Cut in Thorin stubbornly. "We keep heading east."

"But which way is east?" Moaned Gloin. "We've lost the sun."

The dwarves all began arguing between themselves as Bilbo stood staring up at the canopy of the trees. "Up there!" He said pointing, "We need to get up there!"

_He might as well be a ghost for all the good it's doing him._

I watched Fili and Kili kicking and punching at each other and as Dori and Ori started tumbling around pushing and prodding each other too I hated this forest just a little bit more. My friends were self-destructing and there was nothing I could do about it. Brothers who loved and cared for one another, fighting and brawling.

Beorn had certainly been right! There was something very wrong with that forest indeed.

"ENOUGH! QUIET! ALL OF YOU!" Thorin bellowed. He turned to the others, flicked his eyes once in my direction and whispered, "We're being watched."

_Oh good, _I thought sarcastically. _So now you know I'm here again and you think I'm dangerous and you still can't see me!_

I watched Bilbo climbing the tree, it looked as if he might be able to clear his head and if he could do that then he might be able to see me. I bounced up and down on my feet, waiting for him to climb back down.

The only thing was something entirely more terrifying came along before he did, and that was when I found what Gandalf meant about 'my path'.

* * *

><p>The creatures pounced on the dwarves who were too affected by the forest to try and fight, I felt like I was going to scream as I saw them being taken down one by one.<p>

_Spiders, it had to be spiders!_

I am terrified of spiders, the amount of times over the journey I'd asked Fili to get rid of one for me, not kill just remove. It was the most disturbing scene to witness, giant spiders completely ignoring me and stabbing at my friends. Paralysing them. The spiders wrapped the dwarves up in webs, quite expertly, and I knew they were going to be eaten. One by one the spiders began to carry off the dwarves.

Giant, hairy monsters with too many legs, pincers the size of my torso and eyes the side of my head, didn't seem to be on Bilbo's agenda for the day either. I heard a yell which chilled me to the bone and then saw Bilbo falling from the very tops of the trees. At first I was glad he'd landed in the giant web, thinking the spiders had all gone and the web had saved him, then I saw the beast.

A giant spider came, with a screeching hiss, scuttling towards Bilbo. It opened its pincers making me think it would devour him right there and then suddenly I saw Bilbo go limp. The spider had very sneakily, stuck Bilbo with its stinger. Twisting and turning Bilbo every which way, controlling the motion with its legs, the spider wrapped him up tight in some strange web cocoon thing. Then without any sort of warning, picked him up and took off. The spider was so quick I didn't see where it went and I was just about to break down my resolve and step off the path when quite suddenly I saw it.

Next to the path which I was stood on, the original path which had been there all along, next to that, was an offshoot. A_ golden_ offshoot. I didn't even need to think about where it went before racing off down it, tearing along as fast as I possibly could. I didn't need to think about it because I already _knew_. That path was the path to my heart. Now with a clear mind, in this godforsaken place I realised, that path would take me to Fili.

I mentally slapped at myself as I realised. If I had just remained calm as I had managed the first time in the forest with Gandalf. If I had just kept my right mind and my wits about me, none of this would have happened. I would have been on the path to my heart (or perhaps the destination?), whenever I was with Fili, and then no one would have lost the _actual_ path, because I would have been able to find it.

As I sprinted down the twisting and curling path laying itself out in front of me I realised one thing, Gandalf had been wrong. The forest had affected me, just not in the same way as anyone else. Not in the same way _at all._

* * *

><p><strong>So I kind of mixed the book and film there played around with timings and scenes a bit. What did you think?<strong>

**Hope you liked it. **

**Rue**


	21. Total Creepers

By the time I reached the end of the path I was panting. My legs were shaky, burning from the exertion and my breaths were coming out in gasps and wheezes. I clutched my side tightly and stood spinning around frantically.

_How can this be the end of the path? No one's here!_

Just as I was beginning to get really desperate, thinking I was too late, too late to be of any use, an enormous, oversized spider came crashing down in front of me. It landed with a thump and I jumped back, heart pounding. When I was certain it wasn't going to move, wasn't going to roll over and start attacking me, I looked up. Squinting into the trees I caught sight of Bilbo on a branch, tearing his web cocoon away from himself hurriedly.

"Bilbo!" I hissed, my eyes darting around nervously. The last thing I wanted to do was alert the spiders to my presence. Bilbo froze for a second, "Bilbo down here!"

The relief on Bilbo's face at seeing me standing below, looking up in terror, desperately trying to get his attention was clear. He put a hand to his lips and motioned to the other giant spiders gathered around the webs which I assumed must be the dwarfs. Shocking me completely, Bilbo suddenly disappeared.

_What the-?_

My eyes roamed the tree tops looking for him, although I don't know why. He hadn't stepped behind a tree or anything, he'd quite literally just winked away, half a second before he'd been a solid hobbit. Now there was just thin air where he should have stood. My breathing became a little more rapid...

_That's just not possible_

I blinked. Pulling my eyes tightly shut and then pushing them forcefully open again next time, surely it had to be a trick of the light.

_Apparently not._

There was a crashing sound a short distance away and most of the spiders went scurrying to investigate. I nearly stepped off the end of the path to join them. _Nearly_.

_Oh god, I hope you know what you're doing Bilbo…_

Gulping as I waited for either the spiders or my friend to return, I kept my eyes trained desperately on the dwarf cocoons, one spider hadn't left. I was trying to build the courage to face my fears. To leap up the trees and take on the remaining great, hairy, massive spider when it scurried round, facing the other direction as if looking for something. I narrowed my eyes.

_What the hell is it doing?_

The spider almost seemed to be having some sort of mental breakdown. It looked as if it was jabbing out at thin air, poking and clawing wildly.

_Maybe it's having a fit?_

My confusion suddenly dissipated and my mouth sprang open when Bilbo flashed back into existence. Right there on the branch, fighting the spider, stabbing his sword straight into its face. My eyebrows shot right up into my hairline and my eyes became saucers. As the spider came crashing down, bouncing on trees and landing just a little to my right with a thump I started; shaking my head to regain some sense of wits. If one of those things came down alive, I had to be ready for it.

"Sting." Bilbo muttered looking at his sword and then down to me. "It's a good name!"

I rolled my eyes at him. "It's brilliant but we have more pressing matters to be dealing with here!" This comment spurred him into action.

"Get ready to rip them out!" He shouted before swiping his sword through the webs, cutting the dwarfs free.

As each one fell down, I tore into the cocoons freeing them. Most of them woke up a little frantic as they hit the ground; others needed a little slap on the face when eventually Bilbo cut down Fili.

"Fili." My tone was laced with relief as I scratched my way into his cocoon allowing him to stand up and start yanking webs off himself. As soon as his arms and legs were free I launched myself at him. He caught me. Wobbling, only slightly this, for someone who had been paralyzed, was quite a feat indeed. "I thought…" I dabbed furiously at my eyes, smearing cool tears along my face.

Fili grasped me tightly, hugging me close, "Shh…shhh, I know, I know." He muttered into my hair.

Pulling back, I opened my mouth, intent on telling him everything I'd discovered I felt for him when Kili piped up. "Guys, can you _possibly_ do this later." He stared at us imploringly, looking around in a panicked fashion.

We both gulped and nodded.

* * *

><p>"Where's Bilbo?!" Bofur was frantically tearing himself from his cocoon as he looked around.<p>

"Oh he's…" I trailed off as we heard a shout.

"I'M UP HERE… AHHHH!"

Pointing our heads upwards we saw Bilbo coming down on top of a giant spider, from my best guess, he had stabbed it and fell.

"…falling." I finished in a slightly worried tone as Bilbo smashed into trees, bouncing all over the place but, completely away from us.

Bofur gave me a nod, Kili and I shared a meaningful look and then we were off. We were running through the forest, desperately trying to make our escape from the spiders when they came scurrying back and attacked.

I froze. I'd ripped my sword from its scabbard instinctually, but I froze. The spiders were petrifying.

"ZAI!" Bofur called urgently as a spider reared up to attack me, "Do something!"

I did nothing. I stood and I gaped at it. It was like my worst fear come to life. I felt physically sick, so trembling, I stayed, standing, staring and gaping. I would have died. I should have died. But I didn't.

Fili, with a speed and accuracy I didn't know he had, pulled a knife from his coat and hurled it at the spider. The spider stumbled backwards slightly and just as it reached me again, pincers wide, Fili was there. I was numb with shock and the only thing I did as it came towards me was close my eyes and pray for it to be quick. There came a slashing sound and an awful squeal. When I opened my eyes the spider was dead and Fili was yanking his knife and sword back out, stashing the knife and turning to me.

"Mimur! Are you alright?!"

"I…I…" Swallowing thickly I nodded, still blinking rapidly at where the spider had been.

He paused, just for a moment and when he was satisfied he pushed me out of the way and into the side of our clearing before diving back into the fray. I watched with tremors running through me as the dwarfs slashed and swung, stabbed and ripped and just generally beat the spiders back. Killing them when they could. A spider landed on top of Bombur and a whole group of dwarves ran over grabbing a leg each and tugging until all eight legs popped off. The terror swirling through my gut intensified as Fili was fighting one spider while another approached behind him. My eyes darted around, nobody else had noticed. The spiders were going to kill him and I stood uselessly, terror struck.

Fighting back every ounce of fear in my body, or perhaps embracing it, (although it felt more like a struggle), I sprang forwards. Wrapping both hands around the hilt of my sword I vaguely noticed I could use my bad hand again. Charging, I gored the spider behind him right through the back. As it screeched twisting and turning I heaved the sword out and stabbed it back in, closer to the beasts head. "That's my dwarf!"

My heart was beating rapidly and I felt like my brain was going into over-drive but Fili was safe. His lips parted slightly as if to say something to me when suddenly, it wasn't just us and the spiders any more. As we ran towards…well just ran really, a pale blonde elf came sliding down a spider's web, killed the spider and had his bow trained on us. Before you could blink, there were thirty more elves surrounding us, all bow's pointing at our heads.

_Fantastic._

* * *

><p>"Do not think I won't kill you dwarf." The elf spoke to Thorin in a hard yet self-satisfied tone. "It would be my pleasure."<p>

Thorin breathed in deeply and there came a cry from somewhere to the right of us. Fili's head snapped round, his eyes frantic. "KILI!" He yelled. My heart plummeted.

Fili stepped away from my side, towards the sound of Kili's screams but the elves levelled him with their bows and challenging looks. I grabbed his hand. Fili would take on a thousand elves to get to Kili, but he couldn't help anyone by dying. We listened to the struggle, heard Kili shout for a blade and the elf's harsh reply before everything fell silent. Then there were footsteps. Fili's shoulders sagged in relief and he pulled me into his side as Kili came through the bushes, held at weapon point by a female elf.

"Search them!" Announced the blonde elf.

A particularly harsh looking male elf, dragged me from Fili's side. I glared at him. He nudged, poked and prodded at me, with such a force it was making me sway on my feet. Eventually, apparently finding nothing of importance and sneering quite nastily at me he ripped my sword from my hand and shoved me back towards the others. I fell into Bofur, who was still being searched but risked his arm to steady me.

"Easy lassie." He muttered.

I took a deep breath trying to wipe the scowl from my face as I replied. "Cheers."

Fili glanced over to me before staring funnily back up at the elf searching him with raised eyebrows.

"Hey give it back that's private!" Gloin sounded highly irritable and I drug my gaze away from Fili, who had knives being pulled from every crack and crevice, to look at him.

The blonde elf was holding the frame which held the pictures of his wife and son. I felt for him. On this sort of journey, tokens like that were the last thing one wanted to loose.

"Who is this?" Asked the blonde elf, staring down at the picture with a look of revulsion on his face. "Your brother?"

"That is my _wife_!" Replied Gloin.

_Well if he wasn't annoyed before…_

I watched the elf carefully. Narrowing my eyes.

"And what is this horrid creature? A goblin mutant?" His voice was conveying a real distaste for the pictures. Personally I thought Gimli was quite cute… as for his wife, well culture wise it was weird seeing a woman with a beard but she was really lovely looking.

"That's my wee lad. Gimli." Gloin announced in a flat tone.

The elf raised his eyebrow at him, it was very offensive actually and as normal, with nervousness bubbled up inside me I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"You know… there's no need to be such a douchebag." I told him as I strode over to Gloin levelling him with a stare. "I thought elves were meant to have manners… clearly, I was mistaken."

The elf narrowed his eyes at me and cocked his head frowning. "You are an odd looking dwarf."

"Sing a new tune won't ya?" I shot back.

"Or perhaps you're just a child." He smirked.

I glared at him harshly. "The next person to say that is going to lose their balls."

He scoffed and then suddenly his eyes widened, I followed them, they were flicking from my sword to me. "Never…" He muttered.

I raised my eyebrows, grabbing me by the front of the cloak and lifting me off of my feet he held my sword in my face. The dwarves, Kili, Fili, Bofur and Thorin most viciously, tried to start towards the elf. They were yanked back by others.

"Where did you get this?" He demanded in a low tone.

I blinked at him. "Won it. Now put me down before I kick you in the balls. Don't think I won't _elf_" I spat. "It would be my pleasure."

Obviously annoyed with my mocking of his threats, he threw me down and I landed quite hard straight on my ass. Gritting my teeth I stood up and nodded at the others, letting them know I was okay. The blonde elf began speaking to the she elf, who brought Kili through and I strolled towards Fili.

He was sighing in frustration every time they found a weapon he was hoping they wouldn't. His pile of… well actually his arsenal, was getting so huge now I found myself struggling to decide whether to be stunned or giggle. How he hid that many weapons about his person was a mystery, but it did explain how he always had a blade when he needed one. Winking at me, he pulled his coat outwards cheekily as if to show he had no more weapons, the elf searching him pulled another huge knife from behind his head. Apparently satisfied, he then moved away from Fili and I, taking all Fili's weapons with him.

"Honestly." I snorted lightly as he threw his arm over my shoulder. "It's a wonder you haven't stabbed yourself… or me for that matter."

He smirked at me, "It's just one of my many charms and various talents."

I smiled as we re-joined the group forming behind Thorin. Blondie, as I decided to call him, was appraising his blade, speaking in elvish.

_How rude._

"Where did you get this?" He asked Thorin and he didn't look too pleased about the fact that Thorin had it either.

"It was given to me." Thorin replied in what was, for Thorin, almost a whisper.

The elf pointed the sword at his neck. "Not just a _thief_, but a _liar_ as well." He looked once again, disgusted.

_I'm beginning to think looking like he's got shit under his nose is just what his face looks like…_

The elf shouted something loudly in elvish and then the others began pushing us off, so we were walking in a line one by one.

"Thorin," Bofur whispered as he walked past the king. "Where's Bilbo?" Just as Fili growled, slapping away the hand of the elf that went to shove me forwards.

"She can walk!" He snapped.

* * *

><p>We eventually came out of the forest, and although I wasn't glad about our situation, I was so relieved to finally be out of there. Or at least the main part of it, because I guessed we were still technically in the forest. We crossed a bridge into the palace, which was filled with high winding, narrow pathways making me grit my teeth and try not to lose balance. Honestly elven architecture, while beautiful, is unnecessary, impractical and ever so slightly ridiculous. But then, I am speaking from the point of view of someone who doesn't find navigating their way around elven paths easy. I suppose if you were an elf, it was fine.<p>

The Mirkwood palace was a lot darker than Rivendell, but that was probably due to the fact that everything was carved out of dark wood. I gasped a little as we walked along; honestly, it was beautiful, even under the tense circumstances I had to admit that.

Blondie gave some more instructions to the elves carting us off and I felt myself being hauled out of the line.

"Hey!" I shouted in panic, as I was yanked in the same direction as Thorin. "What the hell?!"

Blondie, to my utter disbelief, actually answered me. Smirking at the dwarves he said. "The king wants to see you."

From his tone and the looks on the faces of the others, I gathered this was not a good thing.

* * *

><p>By this point, I thought I'd had my share of creepy crawlies for the day. I was mistaken. Honestly, I've never met such an unnerving person as King Thranduil, he is a total creeper.<p>

Tall with long flowing limbs and frosty blue eyes the elf king held himself impeccably. Honestly not one jot of emotion came onto his face unless he wanted it too, I kind of envied that. The man it seemed was in complete control. He wore a strange wooden head-dress I took to be his crown and how it sat on top of his long flowing blonde hair, (which was a close match for mine colour wise although pin straight), without messing it up I will never know.

The King didn't even acknowledge us until Blondie showed back up from escorting the others, to their cells. Thorin and I stayed silent for the most part while waiting, we asked each other if we were alright and then that was about it. But as Blondie arrived and I took in a deep nervous breath, Thorin squeezed my arm, giving me a small smile. I was grateful for the comfort. It was then that I noticed. I frowned slightly and looked between the King and Blondie. Once, twice and then again a third time.

When Blondie spoke to me it looked as if he was suppressing a grin, "Yes?" He asked.

"Are you…?" I trailed off indicating between Blondie and the King.

This time, Blondie did grin. "I am Legolas. Prince of Mirkwood, pleasure to meet you my lady." He kissed my hand.

I did a double take. "When did you get so polite?"

When the elf did nothing but raise his eyebrows at me I sighed, "I am Zalia Lucas, Princess of nothing. Nice to meet you Legolas." He frowned. "What?" I said. "You're not my prince. Got two of them already thanks, shorter, better height, better looking." I nodded at him with a cheeky wink.

Thorin snorted.

_Well if we're going to go to hell in a hand basket, might as well do it thoroughly. _

Legolas pursed his lips and pulled me off to the side, grasping firmly onto my arm as Thorin stood in front of King Thranduil.

"Some may imagine that a noble quest is at hand." Announced the King striding round Thorin in a languid manner.

His voice was deep and smooth, one of those voices which could get you to agree to anything if you weren't careful. I gulped mentally noting this down for my own talk with the king.

"A quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon. I myself suspect a more prosaic motive..." The King continued.

I glanced to Legolas and beckoned him down towards me. Although he didn't look pleased about it, he obliged. "You're going to have to stop him using words I don't understand if he expects to talk to me." I muttered. "Prosaic…who uses words like that anyway?!"

Legolas suppressed another grin and stood up straight again to listen to his father and Thorin talk, I sighed.

_If I don't pledge my life to something by complete accident today it will be a bloody miracle._

"Attempted burglary, or something of that ilk." The King twisted his torso and head, leaning down to face Thorin and just looked really freaky if I'm honest. "You have found a way in," He began to walk backwards towards his throne, leaning slightly towards Thorin as he spoke. "You seek that which would bestow upon you the right to rule. The Kings Jewel. The Arkenstone."

Thorin looked down and seemed to sigh silently, but didn't say anything.

"It is precious to you beyond measure." Thranduil was not letting up at all. "I understand that." He gave a creepy little grin before his eyes became wider again and his smile dropped. "There are gems in the mountain that I too desire. White gems, of pure starlight. I offer you my help." He bowed his head slightly towards Thorin.

Thorin grinned slightly. "I am listening."

I thought I was going to faint. _Thorin, Thorin decides now is the time to listen to elves! Oh let's not pay attention to the nice ones! Let's just listen to Mr Creepy there who had the others thrown in cells. What the hell man?! What the hell?!_

"I will let you go." Announced the elven king, "if you but return what is mine."

Thorin turned from the king and sauntered to the edge of his throne podium, _thing_.

"A favour for a favour…"

"You have my word."

It was at this point I saw Thorin's cheeky little smirk and it looked so much like Fili and Kili's cheeky little smirks I had to fight to subdue the grin that wanted to break out on my face.

"One King to another." Thranduil announced loudly, obviously thinking this would help his cause.

I can't say it's what worsened it, but I can't say it helped much either.

"I would not trust Thranduil," Thorin started out in a low quiet voice and then it rose and made the elven king frown. "THE GREAT KING, TO HONOUR HIS WORD SHOULD THE END OF ALL DAYS BE UPON US! YOU!" Thorin turned and jabbed with his finger towards the king in a rather vicious manner, "LACK ALL HONOUR!" he touched or rather hit, his hand towards his heart as he said this.

In his rage Thorin began storming towards the king. "I have seen how you treat your friends! We came to you once, _starving_, homeless, seeking your help but you turned your _back_!" Thorin sounded like he was choking up as he spoke the next sentence. "You turned away from the suffering of _my_ people!" And then he became angry again. "And the _inferno_ that destroyed us!"

With a vicious voice Thorin shouted something in Khuzdul at the king and suddenly Thranduil was in his face. "Do not talk to me of dragon _fire_! I know its wrath and ruin!" He began gasping and then…

"What the actual? Like… oh… that is just… man!" I couldn't help myself as I grimaced and threw my hands over my mouth; half of Thranduil's face was open. You could see his one eye was white and all the muscles in his mouth and jaw where there wasn't great holes.

_That had to be some serious voodoo to cover that up!_

"I have faced the great serpents of the north! " He pulled back from Thorin, stood to his full height and glared down upon the dwarf. "I warned your grandfather of what his greed would summon, but he would not listen." Walking back up the steps to his throne Thranduil announced "You are just like him."

He waved his arm and two guards grasped Thorin. "THORIN!" I yelled as he struggled and they pulled him off, Legolas grasped me extra tightly as I tried to get to Thorin.

_I think that'll bruise!_

Thranduil yelled, "STAY HERE IF YOU WILL. And _rot_. A HUNDRED YEARS IS A MEAR BLINK IN THE LIFE OF AN ELF! I'm patient, I can _wait._"

"ZALIA!" Thorin called as he was dragged down the stairs.

"She'll either be down soon!" Called Thranduil. "Or not at all!"

_Well, that's not foreboding in the least_. I gulped, turning for my conversation with the king.

* * *

><p><strong>Now their in Mirkwood, more to come from that conversation!<strong>

**Hope you liked it! **

**Thanks for all the favs follows and reviews. ****Oh for all the people who've been asking what Mimur means... we'll be finding out soon, not in the next few perhaps but very soon.**

**Just as a little side note, I had someone on a guest account ask me if Zai actually had purpose or was a tag-along, well I think it's clear she's changing things subtly as it goes but obviously any bigger changes she might make I can't announce without ruining the story! So... sorry. **

**Rue.**


	22. Terrible And Terrific Talks

It didn't surprise Thorin at all when the dwarves all immediately started shouting to him as soon as the elf who unceremoniously tossed him in his cell had left. Considering Zalia wasn't with him they were all decidedly worried. Although none more than Fili. It was enough to make him grin with pride that his nephew had found someone like Zalia. Now if they would only hurry up and do something about it! In Thorin's eyes Zalia was a sweet girl, sometimes stubborn and irritating but mostly kind, caring, courageous and unflinchingly loyal. She could be foolish, though whether that stemmed from fear or her background Thorin was not yet sure, and to have her alone with the elven king, well… it worried him.

That in itself came as a shock to Thorin. He always worried about those in his company but he never thought he'd worry about the odd girl he'd found running from the orc, and yet he found as the days went by he worried for her more and more. In fact one would not be wrong in saying he worried for Zalia as much as he did his nephews. As far as he was concerned Zalia was one of his own now and not just by being a dwarf, Zalia, in Thorin's eyes was the daughter he'd never thought about wanting. Assisting his sister, Dis, with bringing up Fili and Kili had been an experience and he loved his nephews like nothing and nobody else. He thought no one would ever come close, but he was wrong. Zalia, with all her odd phrases, strange inappropriate outbursts and infectious laughter at the worst times had become like his own child. It made Thorin's heart ache to think of her alone with the elven king, to think he couldn't help her, none of them could, and she was all on her own.

And he decided it was this feeling that prompted his reaction to the shouts of panic of the others.

"SILENCE!" He bellowed.

As if someone had flicked a switch, the dwarves voices immediately stopped. Thorin sighed, running a hand over his face and listening intently. He could hear nothing.

"Thorin…?" Balin asked timidly.

Ah Balin, his friend who had been there through everything. Thorin thought of all people Balin understood him, understood how he felt, how he thought, how he acted. It was the kind of friendship some never experienced, and he was lucky to have a friend like Balin.

"Zalia is not with me because Thranduil wishes to speak to her. I do not know what about and I do not know when she will return…" He gulped. "_If_, she will return. We can do no more than listen, and hope."

A clanging noise sounded, rumbling up from below Thorin's own cell and he shut his eyes tightly. He didn't think Fili would take the news well, he just hoped he hadn't broken his hand.

* * *

><p>The elf king Thranduil stared at me. As Thorin was dragged away and probably thrown in some dark and dingy cell, he stared at me. I wasn't quite sure what to do. Once the guards had removed Thorin from my sight Legolas let go of my arm and pushed me on the back until I was stood in front of the throne in which his father sat. It was at this point I at least expected him to say <em>something<em> to me. Perhaps mock me for my outburst, but no. He stared. I waited.

Slowly, very slowly indeed Thranduil stood and descended the steps from his throne stopping before me on the platform. Still without saying a word, he began to circle me. I felt a bit like a dying animal being circled by a vulture. When he finally came to rest, standing pin-straight before me once more, I expected him to speak, but he did not.

It was like a battle of wills, who was going to make the first move, I didn't intend to lose but it was becoming harder and harder for me to keep silent. I _wanted_ to know why he wanted to speak to me. It made no sense, I wasn't anyone important. In this world I wasn't anyone really. The appraising look in Thranduil's eyes made me set my chin. If he was looking for a weakness he wasn't going to find one. I stared back at the king, unblinking.

Eventually the voice I had found to be so silky and persuasive when he was talking to Thorin, slipped out and once more graced my ears. "So."

I gawped. Openly gawped.

_He's dragged me here to say so? Wait… _

It struck me quite suddenly that it may be a test of some kind. If he wanted anything from me, perhaps something he knew he couldn't get out of the dwarves, then he was waiting to see how quickly I would buckle.

"So." I replied glaring at the king now.

Pursing his lips for a second he then began to speak and I finally found out what he wanted. "Legolas tells me you claim to have won a weapon…" He motioned to another elf and the elf passed him my sword. "This weapon."

"Legolas would be correct."

Thranduil's eyebrows rose ever so slightly. The atmosphere in the room was tense, so tense. My body wanted to shake, whether from fright or adrenaline I wasn't sure, but I held firm.

"Prove it."

This caught me off guard. _What the hell is he on about? Prove it?_

"I'm sorry?" I sounded completely perplexed, which was good, because I was. Entirely so.

To my greatest shock, Thranduil handed me my sword, levelling me with a challenging and slightly intimidating gaze. "I said prove it."

I rolled my eyes. "I can hear you know, and I'm not a fool."

"Good to know."

_It appears the elf king can be as annoying and sarcastic as I am. _

"What I mean to say, is how do I prove it?"

"Remove the jewel."

I rubbed my thumb lightly over the jewel I had worked so hard to get, the jewel I had put into the hilt all that time ago.

_Is it wise?_

I tried my best to think like Thorin would. Would he remove the jewel? Could removing it do any harm? Would not removing it do any harm?

Weighing my options I slowly slipped the blue gem from its spot. Thranduil's eyes lit-up.

_Uh-oh._

Clasping the gem tightly in my fist I looked up at the elven king. "Satisfied."

He nodded, "Very…You may put it back now if you wish."

With a slight frown marring my features I did as he said. This conversation was getting confusing and it had barely begun.

"A prophecy!" Thranduil announced in a loud voice, one that seemed to fill the whole room. "A prophecy about the one who could reach the stone, one who has won the swords loyalty, a special someone who may change destinies, that person is you."

"Riiii-ght." I can admit, it's not the best answer to come up with, especially in a tone clearly conveying I thought the elf was a lunatic. However, I am no destiny changer.

"You could lead a charmed life. We could help you; help you become one with the sword. Help you discover its properties." He was looking greedy, slightly unhinged.

_What's in this for him? I'd say that's a no Mr Creepy, thanks but no thanks._

The royal elf continued, "All you must do is abandon the filth you entered with, stay with us, become one of us."

I raised my eyebrows and narrowed my eyes.

"I must admit it is…" He looked me up and down as if disgusted. "Regrettable… that you take the form of a dwarf, but it cannot be helped."

_This man is cuckoo for coco puffs. Totally mental. And his negotiation skills need some serious work, if he's meant to be convincing me, well… insulting me is not exactly the best way to go about it._

Thraduil smiled at me, at least, I think that's what it was meant to be, then he turned, his clothing sweeping behind him, and began walking back towards his throne. "So I will be pleased to have my son escort you to your new chambers and…"

"Hang on!" I yelped, he was acting as if I'd already agreed. "… I think I'll pass thanks."

The force of the glare the king shot me as he span back around amazed me. It was utterly furious. His eyes were bubbling with rage and I was pretty sure he wanted to remove my head from my shoulders.

_Oh there's definitely something in this for him._

"What did you say?" He hissed dangerously, leaning towards me in a rather threatening manner.

"I said." I steadied my voice which had come out in a tremble and started again. "I said no. I will not be doing that thanks."

"You are joking of course." The tone was mildly threatening. Oh who am I kidding it was extremely threatening.

I swallowed thickly but answered the king, cool, calm and collected. "I am afraid I am not."

Surveying me for the next couple of seconds Thranduil became irritated and irate quickly. "Foolish girl! You will do as ordered!"

"Um… no… no I won't."

Striding towards me, getting right up in my face and grabbing my arm so tightly I thought it might fall off; Thranduil yanked me from the room. I couldn't really make out too much because he took such big strides and because I thought my arm was in great danger of braking but, I did make out Legolas scurrying behind. Thranduil dragged me down stairs; across hallways and bridges until eventually we stopped. I looked around getting my bearings from the rough ride.

_In the dungeon things. Awesome._

When I say dungeon what I really mean is on a big stairway which had cells embedded in the sides of walls and by the looks of it all the cells were occupied by the dwarves who stared wide eyed at me as I was hauled in.

"Is this what you want?!" He shouted, so close I could feel his breath ghost across my face, shaking me in front of Bofur's cell. "Is it?! To die in a cell?! Rotting away?! You could live! I would see you well looked after!"

Bofur gave me a horrified look. I just became more and more irritated and woozy by the second.

Now I think about it, I probably didn't make the best of replies. "Dude you are bat-shit crazy. Like really fucking cuckoo here, I suggest you see someone. A professional. Soon."

At which point I was thrown into a wall.

"OWWW!" I groaned rubbing my head, it was spinning and I couldn't see straight, the dwarves were banging against their cells trying in vain to escape and assist me. My wrist felt oddly heavy. When I looked down I saw I had been shackled to the wall.

"Reconsider." The king ordered. "You have one hour." And with that, he left.

* * *

><p>Legolas frowned as he watched his father leave and then sighed, crouching down to my level. "Are you alright?" He asked kindly.<p>

To my shock, the dwarves were silent.

"Are you?" I shot back rubbing the back of my head. "Or are you mentally fucked too?"

He glared at me. In a tight voice he continued. "I would think you should reconsider carefully. My father does not give second chances so easily."

"I am shocked you think that I give a damn." I replied stonily.

The elf prince narrowed his eyes and stood stiffly. "You would be foolish to refuse."

"No." I replied. "I don't think so."

Sighing at me, the elf left. The noise that erupted when he did, did nothing to settle my nerves… or my headache.

"WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP!" I yelled desperately.

"Mimur, are you alright?" Fili called frantically from somewhere below me.

"Just dandy." The sarcasm was rife in my tone as I rubbed the back of my head.

Thorin's voice sounded rang out loud and clear. "Zalia what did he want?"

I groaned. "I don't know. The man's totally nuts! Some shit about a prophecy, my sword, destinies, blah, blah, blah."

"Then what was he asking you to reconsider lassie?" Asked Balin kindly.

"I don't know what he wanted exactly… I think there's something in it for him if I say yes… But it was clear he wanted me to abandon you guys and stay here and I told him that shit wasn't going to fly and…well you saw the rest."

Bofur stared at me from his cell across from my wall. "You really meant it lassie?"

"No mate. I just thought I'd get thrown into a wall for the jollies!" I hissed angrily. "Yes I meant it you prat! Why would you think I didn't?!"

He shrugged, "I just… you could have not rotted away down here with us. You could have lived."

* * *

><p>No one said much after Bofur's little speech, not to me anyway. It was like they were all giving me time to think over the words, consider them.<p>

"We wouldn't mind!" Ori yelled up.

When no one answered him I gathered he was talking to me. "Mind what?" I called back.

"If you wanted to live with the elves, to live."

I sighed as Kili shouted, "We don't want you to die Zai. Take the opportunity. Even if you do have to live with…" He spat the last word out. "_Elves._"

"Shut up. Just all of you. Shut up."

An hour passed ridiculously slowly. It was like waiting for paint to dry. I sang a few Irish songs under my breath but didn't say anything to anyone. If I'm honest I was a little offended they thought I had it in me to abandon them like that.

Eventually the king returned.

"I hope you have come to your senses." He stated coldly, looking down on me.

I shrugged, "Depends on what you consider sensible, my answer hasn't changed."

A vein in his head throbbed as he appraised me. "You are a foolish girl. You would rather _rot _with this _scum_ than live out a charmed life!"

"I would rather rot with my _friends_ than spend another minute with the likes of you!" I snapped back harshly.

Thranduil gave me a withering stare. "You are pathetic."

"Not really, but you are very pathetic." I snapped. "You're just _pissy_ that Thorin won't give you your bloody gems! So you're being a dickhead and you know what? That shit just doesn't fly with me!"

Thranduil began ranting at me in elvish. I didn't understand a word that he was saying but I gathered enough to know it was meant to be insulting.

Meant to be. I wasn't easily offended by words I couldn't understand. Turns out he was.

As he switched back into English he said, "I think…"

At which point I cut him off. "**Is cuma liom sa diabhal!****(I don't give a damn****!)**" For once I found a use for the few Gaelic phrases I did know, and it was pretty cool. I shouted the next part in English. "You're selfish and irritating and vain and rude and offensive and downright nasty!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" Thranduil roared, standing to his full height, towering over me and rather making my knees want to knock together.

"Annoying isn't it?" I asked. He slapped me. Honestly I expected it, kind of. I expected to be hit by someone. I didn't really expect to be bitch-slapped by the king, and I didn't expect it to hurt so much either.

"**Marbhfháisc ort!**** (A shroud on you!),** **Go stróice an diabhal thú! (May the worms eat you!)**" I spat at the king, again in Gaelic.

Once again he slapped me, this time I did expect it, but I glared at him with such ferocity and the look on his face was so priceless it was worth it.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" He boomed.

My only retort was, "Annoying, isn't it?" accompanied by a cheeky grin.

At this point he lost it. The King roared in frustration and stomped around across the pathway and up the stairs, honestly it looked like there should be steam spurting out of his ears. If I wasn't going to rot to death in his cells, I would have found it highly amusing.

"ROT DOWN HERE FOR ALL I CARE!"

Legolas looked up at his father. "We have no more cells." He informed him.

"Then let her chose who to share with! They'll be in there a long time!" And once again the king was gone.

Legolas unattached me from the wall and looked around. "So, who would you like to rot with?"

I grinned at him. He had an odd sense of humour. "Fili?!" I called, "Where are you?"

"Down here!" Came the instant reply, a hand sticking out of the cell for good measure.

Legolas nodded at me. "Are you sure?"

"Positive, no question."

"So be it."

* * *

><p>As Legolas shut me in the cell I gave him a little wave. "See you around Blondie!" He snorted. "Tell your father to see someone about those anger issues!"<p>

Frowning he turned back towards me and spoke in a low tone. "I do not know what that prophecy says. What I do know is this…" He levelled his gaze with mine, "My father has never struck a woman before, no matter how … _infuriating_." He grinned cheekily before turning serious once more. "If he wanted you to stay, he had good reason. Whether it most benefits us or you I could not say. But he had good reason."

"I deserved it!" I called as the elf prince walked off. "I did. Your father may seem unhinged at the moment, but I don't think he is really. Something, freaked him. Something bad." Looking back at me, Legolas gave me a stiff nod in thanks and then turned to leave again.

_There was nothing wrong with that elf during his conversation with Thorin. Something about me freaked him out, something made him want me here with them. Whatever that is, it can't be good. _

Wasting no more time on a thought I was getting nowhere with I turned to Fili. Softly, he brushed his hands over my cheeks, running one lightly down my jaw. "Did it hurt?"

"A little." I admitted with a grin.

"You could have lived Mimur. You didn't have to rot with us… with me."

I gulped. If there was ever a time to have the conversation with Fili I'd been meaning to have, now was it.

"Fili, I wouldn't want to be anywhere with any elf when I could be with you." I told him seriously.

He looked slightly bewildered, and, it was quite a cute look on him. "But we are in a cell."

"Yes. We are."

"I don't understand."

I rolled my eyes at him with a grin. "Fili I want to be with you."

"Yes," He replied, still looking puzzled. "I understood that, you could have been in a cell with anyone but you chose me so-"

Highly frustrated now, I let out an 'urgh!' sound, stopping Fili dead.

"You didn't have to share with me, I don't want you to feel obliged…"

I pulled on a piece of my hair, whether in frustration or with nervousness I don't know.

"Fili I don't feel obliged I wanted to share with you!"

A look of confusion spread across his face, "But you are friends with Kili and Bofur and…"

"URGH! I'm _in love _with you, you absolute _dolt_!"

There was a few seconds of tense silence. "What did you say?" He asked, voice barely even a whisper.

"Fili." I fixed him with my most open, loving and honest look. "I'm in love with you."

Fili pounced; he slammed me up against the wall and looked down at me with such breath-taking intensity I was surprised my heart didn't stop. And then his lips were on mine. His beard tickled my face and his hands wound their way into my hair, gripping tightly. My heart felt like it was running a marathon and butterflies exploded in my stomach. His chapped lips pressed against mine urgently. My eyes fluttered closed and my hands ran up his chest and hooked around his neck, gently, almost playfully I tugged at his hair, grinning into the kiss. One hand ran down my body and hooked under my leg, lifting me, I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly, back still pressed against the wall. He held me tightly, securely, safely. My bottom lip became wet as he swept his tongue across it before nipping on it lightly. I gasped. Wasting no time at all Fili's tongue dived into my mouth and mine into his, we battled for dominance but I knew I was losing, and quite happily too. One hand still fisted into my hair Fili pushed me against the wall harder, letting go with his other hand and using it to squeeze my side he growled. I gave in, His tongue explored my mouth, every crack every crevice and I quite gladly followed his lead. I knew I was becoming dizzy and I was going to need air soon. It seemed Fili did too, because he pulled back.

Putting me gently down on the floor he wrapped his arms around my waist and I held tightly to his shoulders. We were both panting heavily. The beaming smile on his face was mirrored by that on my own. Cupping my cheek he gently ran one hand along my scar, still grinning. I lifted a hand from his shoulder and did something I'd never before dared to do, knowing how special they are; I twisted the left side of his braided moustache. Nudging me playfully on the nose with his nose we continued to grin at one another. I bit my lip still smiling, the moment was more perfect than I could ever have imagined. In an elven dungeon or not.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." I sighed breaking our silence. "And before you begin with your tirade again, I do know you, enough to know that there could never be anyone else, not for me. I don't expect everything to be easy, but it will be worth it. I want to know everything there is to know about you and I–"

"Mimur." The rough, animalistic tone to his voice was enough to silence me. I dropped my hand from his moustache, and placed it gently on his chest. "There is no one else for me." He stated, his eyes bore into mine. "And I have known that since before Rivendell, before the _stupid_ elf, before most everything. I just wanted you to be happy. When we love we love only once I do not intend on giving you up now. The fact that you even _thought_ I could want a normal dwarf woman after meeting someone as… as _perfect_ as you… quite frankly it shocks me. And now I have you I don't intend on giving you up. I love you Zalia Lucas."

I beamed; the smile felt like it was going to rip my face as I tip-toed to kiss him on the lips again. Brushing my soft lips against his rough ones I sighed in contentment.

"I love you too, Fili…" I frowned up at him. "Do dwarves have last names?" I asked confused.

He chuckled, "No."

"Well then. I love you too. You flawless last-nameless dwarf, my flawless last-nameless dwarf in fact."

Grinning cheekily at me he replied. "Is that so?"

I nodded seriously. "Oh yes, it's a fact."

"Well then…"

Fili bumped down onto the floor pulling me with him, opening his legs he gestured for me to turn around and sit in between them.

"Are you sure you want this? There's no going back." He muttered, nuzzling his face into my neck and tickling me with his beard.

"I couldn't be more certain."

I felt the grin as he placed his lips to my neck. "Well then, better make you officially mine."

* * *

><p>I tried to turn and see what he was doing, I really did but he wouldn't have it. Although I knew, separating pieces of my hair and on the right side just before my ear and picking up some other objects he began to braid. It took him twenty minutes, and I just knew I wasn't going to be able to live up to whatever he produced. I'd never liked people playing with my hair before but oddly this time, I didn't mind at all.<p>

"Hold this."

I reached to the side and took the end of the braid as Fili got something to tie it off with. When he'd finally tied it, I was so excited to see I was like a child.

Finding something reflective in his pocket, Fili managed to show me. The braid fell down just over my ear and luckily because I had such thick hair only took the top layer.

_It's beautiful!_

I gasped as I looked at it, the braid was three strands of hair with silver and golden cotton woven in, on the first strand at the top closest to my face he had placed one bead, like his silver ones but slightly smaller, he'd placed another in the middle on the middle strand and a third at the bottom on the strand furthest from my face.

I fingered it delicately. "No need to be so gentle Mimur."

"But I don't want to ruin it!" I replied, worried.

He grinned at me, "Dwarven braids are meant to hold. Now come on time for you to do mine."

I gulped.

It took me twice as long to do Fili's and I didn't even attempt to put any cotton in. I did however, manage to pull three of the little beads off of my sword scabbard and put those in the same position he had put mine in.

I felt oddly embarrassed as he looked at it. "I'm sorry… it's not…"

"It's perfect." He turned round so I was facing him and I slipped onto his lap. "You're perfect. Perfect and mine."

He kissed me, trying to explain the feeling of euphoria I had would be impossible. There was nothing like kissing Fili, knowing he loved me as I loved him. He was mine and I was his.

"So you want to rot in here then or…?" The question trailed off and we broke apart snapping our heads to the cell door.

Kili was standing arms crossed and a shit eating grin on his face next to Thorin who was also smiling widely. Bilbo was with them looking like he didn't know what to do with his eyes and all the others heads were popped round the cell door in the cartoon fashion making the whole scene quite amusing… and highly embarrassing.

"Oh no." I moaned nuzzling my head into Fili's neck as they all beamed at us.

* * *

><p><strong>So I guess you could say they're courting now? Eh?<strong>

**I hope you liked that chapter, it didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted but I'm pretty happy with it. **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews.**

**Rue**


	23. The Not So Great Escape

Thorin coughed. "I apologise for interrupting but we need to go."

Deciding to make this as un-embarrassing and not awkward as possible I stood up from my spot on Fili's lap and made my way over to Bilbo. "Bilbo Baggins you fucking legend." I said hugging him tightly. "I was totally down with rotting but yanno, escape… so much more down with that!"

Bilbo gave me an uncertain look as I pulled back from our embrace. "I have no idea what you just said."

I huffed heavily and then put on my best 'posh voice'. "While I had come around to thinking that rotting may not be such an awful fate, I am most grateful for your efforts as I feel escape would be not only more fitting but also more preferable and I beg that you lead us out post haste!"

Everyone stared at me. And I mean they _gawked_. Mouths hanging wide open, confused looks displayed clearly, they stared.

"Guys…?" I asked uncertainly waving my hand in front of their faces.

_The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead._ I stood awkwardly mouth tugged in, eyebrows down, with a thoughtful expression on my face for the next few minutes. _Ah we have life._

It was Bofur who spoke first, "How?"

Fili added helpfully, "What just?"

As Kili finished with, "Huh?"

I flicked my eyes to each one in turn before frowning again at the company as a whole. "What?"

Balin coughed awkwardly. "We didn't realise you could speak like that lassie."

I sniffed crossing my arms, "Well I'm not an uneducated fool you know. It's just weird speaking like that; I sound like I'm from the old days or summit."

"No!" Kili cut in hastily. "On the contrary you sound normal."

I wrinkled my nose, "Well if you want I could speak like that all the time but-"

The answer came immediately. "NO!" They all looked around embarrassed, a slight blush on some of their cheeks.

"What we mean to say Mimur, is that it was very unnerving." I smiled at Fili grabbing his hand.

"Oh awesome, 'cause speaking like that constantly would totally suck."

This sentence seemed to snap everyone from their daze and Bilbo began leading us away. Up flights of stairs and then down again, as we went up once more I realised something. "Are you guys in your skivvies? Cause that is so not cool."

"Skivvies?" Nori asked puzzlement obvious on his face.

I nodded, "You know, undergarments."

When he and the other dwarves looked away awkwardly as Bilbo scouted the corridor ahead I figured that was a yes.

"The elves _totally_ jacked your threads. Not cool at all."

* * *

><p>As we passed through hallway after hallway it became immediately clear that Bilbo was leading us down, the amount of times I went down shocked me actually. I didn't even realise we were that high up. I was wondering if I should tell Bilbo that going deeper didn't usually equal a way out when quite suddenly we all stopped. I, predictably, walked straight into Bofur's back.<p>

"Dude the actual fuck?" I asked in a whisper, rubbing my head.

He grinned at me. "Bilbo is scouting the area, he seems to think guards will not be far."

Nodding I became immediately distracted as I felt the pad of Fili's thumb tracing circles on the area between my thumb and index finger. It was rough and real and brought back in startling clarity that this was all happening. Fili and I were together, were a couple. A shy grin spread across my face and if the heat flushing my cheeks was anything to go by, so did a blush. I glanced back at Fili looking up at him from under my eyelashes and he smiled at me. The most adoring, tender smile I'd ever seen accompanied by a quick wink, his eyes glistening with pleasure and if I'm not mistaken entirely, a hint of desire. My blush deepened as I turned back to face forwards.

Not a second later Bilbo had returned. He came swiftly but soundlessly, the look on his face clearly displaying we were to keep the noise to an absolute minimum as he beckoned us forwards.

I dropped Fili's hand wanting to keep as focused as possible. From the tight fist he made before letting it fall loosely and limply, almost in defeat, I gathered he understood. As I wrung my own hands together nervously, my fingers brushed the cool metal of my rings.

_I should change that._

Still tip-toeing quietly after the others, I slid my claddagah ring off my right ring finger, twisted it a hundred and eighty degrees and slipped it back on the heart now pointing inwards. It felt confusingly nice, and looked even better.

When we got part-way down the next staircase we stopped. There were two elves sleeping on the table. I took stock of all the scattered wine bottles.

_They are obviously completely shit-faced. _

Bilbo made his way silently and skilfully down the staircase and beckoned us around, "This way quickly."

Kili had a more logical reaction to our placement than my observations of the elves. "Oh I don't believe it!" He exclaimed in a whisper looking to all of us and shaking his arms slightly in frustration, "We're in the cellars!"

_Say what now?_

"You are supposed to be leading us _out_ not further _in_!" Bofur's whisper was frustrated and slightly angry as he took over Kili and stared Bilbo right in the face.

"I know what I'm doing-"

"Shhh!" Bofur cut Bilbo off sharply bringing a finger up in front of his lips as he continued leading us on in the direction Bilbo had indicated.

Kili gave Bilbo a mild, yet threatening look, as he walked past and I gave a weak and rather nervous smile.

_I hope to God you do know what you're doing Bilbo Baggins._

Fili's hand brushed my waist. I glanced back at him and he looked a tad uneasy. I tried to give him an encouraging smile too but I think it may have come out rather feeble and uncertain.

We now stood behind some empty barrels, rather large, quite pretty, wooden empty barrels but empty barrels none the less.

"Everyone climb into the barrels, _quickly_!" Bilbo ordered in hushed but urgent tones.

Dwalin took a few long strides over to him. "Are you mad?" He asked still in an undertone. "_They'll find us_."

"No, no, they won't I _promise_ you! Please, _please_ you _must_ trust me!" Bilbo addressed all of us with this statement.

The company began murmuring between themselves about this plan. Personally, I picked a barrel. Sliding in legs first I lay there bored waiting for everyone to reach a decision.

Fili, Kili and Bofur all surveyed me with raised eyebrows. Fili arms crossed, also had a slight grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as if my oddities amused him.

I shrugged as I looked up at the three of them from my position hair fanned out under me, lying on my back, with my head tipped slightly so I could see out of the barrel. "You got a better plan?"

"_Do as he says_!" Thorin snapped.

At this point the others began scrambling into barrels as well; it was quite amusing to watch from my position... until I gained a room-mate.

* * *

><p>"Hey!" I whispered indignant. "What are you doing?!"<p>

Fili grinned as he used the top barrel edge to swing himself in until his body was completely covering mine. For a second our bodies were pressed firmly, _entirely_ together and I almost overheated from the pure intimate position and the feeling of his hard muscles bearing down on me. A moment passed though and he delicately placed his arms and legs either side of me propping himself up.

"Getting in a barrel."

"This is my barrel." I said giving him a hard stare. "I called it!"

"What did you name it for?" He looked bemused.

I smacked a hand into my face. "I mean I claimed it as my own."

He looked thoughtful for a second before, "It's much nicer to share."

_Cheeky little…_

"But you could have your own spacious barrel."

"I thought you were fine with sharing with me. Anyway why would I want my own when I could be here with you?" He winked brazenly.

I pursed my lips, trying and failing to fight the grin of my own wanting to break out.

* * *

><p>Bilbo walked along counting all of us in the barrels and then padded back the other way.<p>

From somewhere above Bofur's voice called, "What do we do now?"

Fili stuck his head out; it seemed in perfect timing, with the others to hear Bilbo's reply. "Hold your breath."

"Hold me breath?!" Asked Bofur in a voice so laced with confusion it would have been considered comical in any other situation, just as I heard the sound of a leaver being pulled. That slight metal squeaking sound.

_Bilbo Baggins is a dead hobbit walking._

* * *

><p>We went rolling and bouncing out of what I had thought was the floor, in a barrel and hit the water with a splash. Of course I screamed, who wouldn't scream when they go spinning out of control for a long drop into a river in a barrel? I also held on to Fili as if my life depended on it. Which it kind of did… lakes were one thing, I could kind of handle a lake, plus in the competition Thandir had been helping me because of my shoulder, but rivers, rivers were another thing <em>entirely<em>.

_Just because I can keep myself afloat in the pool, doesn't mean I can in the sea._ That's what I used to tell my dad.

Still gripping Fili round the shoulders tightly I closed my eyes and took a deep breath just as we were plunged into the freezing cold water below. For the few seconds we were underwater I opened my eyes and looked at Fili, even though the last thing I wanted to do was admit we were underwater, and he looked back at me. We probably both looked ridiculous, cheeks puffed out holding our breath just kind of staring at one another, especially with me hanging off him like a leech, and then the barrel bobbed up. Thank god for the laws of physics and that we weren't that heavy.

_Hallelujah we're floating! _

I took a great, gasping, gulp of air as we stuck our heads out of the top of the barrel. Or as I stuck my head out at least, using my hands to grip the sides, Fili's head and chest came out of the barrel when he stood up. I sighed, how irritating.

_So that's why he can rest his chin on my head all the time, I fit just under his chin anyway!_

"Bilbo Baggins is a dead hobbit." I dead-panned.

The dwarves all stared at me with blank faces.

"He might have just saved all our lives!" Dori informed me in a disbelieving voice.

"Correction." I stated calmly, "He might have just saved all your lives, I…" It seemed the dwarves were waiting on baited breath for my next statement. "Can't swim."

"WHAT?!" Yelled Bofur, "HOW CAN YOU NOT SWIM!?"

I shrugged, "Never learnt."

"But, but… in that competition thing we saw you!" Kili announced waving his hands around his head.

"You saw me pulled along by an elf, kind of keeping myself a float, urgh..!" I ripped the bandaging which I no longer needed from my left hand and threw it in the elves river. "AND, it is one thing to swim in something completely still, like a pool or lake and another entirely to swim in the sea or a river."

Thorin shook his head, as Nori said, "But you said you lived by the sea!"

"I did and I used to go swimming, what I meant by that was going in where my feet could still touch the ground, paddling somewhat and then swimming back the other way if I panicked. You didn't have to learn to swim if you were never planning on spending any time in water! Plus the pool had a shallow end and a deep end! I can 'swim'" I made good use of air quotes here. "Well enough just to jump in the deep end, push myself up to the surface and then grab the side for dear life."

Fili's arm wound its way around my waist. "I will get you out of this." He muttered into my hair. "And when this is all over, the first thing I'm doing is teaching you every skill that might save your life, starting with swimming."

I brought his other hand up to my mouth and placed a light kiss on it. "Thanks darlin'."

He grinned slightly with his lips pursed tightly together, before saying, "Darlin'?"

_It sounds so weird and yet, somehow sexy when he says it. _

"Don't make fun of my terms of endearment sweetheart, or I'll just start calling you all the awful ones that float around in my world."

Laughing and making his chest vibrate slightly against my back he placed another firm kiss on my head just as Bilbo came falling out of the floor, backwards.

_HA! Serves him right!_

* * *

><p>"Well done Master Baggins!" Thorin said as Bilbo emerged from the water, paddled over to Nori's barrel and hung on.<p>

Bilbo waved him off, obviously feeling a bit worse for wear now he'd been plunged into the water too.

"Go come on! Lets go!" Yelled Thorin as he pointed forwards, leaning on the edge of his barrel and beginning to paddle.

I tried to copy the others but, unfortunately found my arms, couldn't really reach not unless I shimmed up the barrel some and that was proving impossible. Fili's arms came around me and his body pressed firmly into my back, his head resting on my left shoulder as he paddled.

"That is so not fair." I moaned.

He placed a small, swift kiss on my cheek, his beard tickling slightly and his beads from his moustache cool and cold as the brushed against me. "Life isn't fair." His voice was heavy and matter of fact as he propelled us along.

I might have been more annoyed if that voice, the heavy, manly, breathy voice, hadn't sent delighted tingles from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. As it was, I just rolled my eyes.

As we came out of the underground part of the lake, Thorin shouted, "HOLD ON!" And I was dismayed to see, what looked to be a small waterfall in front of us.

"FILI!" I grabbed his arm in a death grip, he wound one arm tightly around me and one hand grasped the barrel determinedly. "Why does this always happen to us?!" I whined just as we reached the edge of the waterfall.

And then we were plummeting downwards, plunging once more into the water below, and I had a swift thought that I hoped Bilbo would be alright with no barrel, before I screwed up my eyes and prayed.

When we re-emerged and I realised we hadn't died… well. "THAT WAS AWESOME!" I yelled bouncing on the balls of my feet and turning slightly to look at Fili in excitement. "Can we do it again? Can we? Can we?!"

He raised one eyebrow at me in amusement and indicated around as the river continued to drag us onwards.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Well not right now, _obviously_…"

There were shouts of help from some of the dwarves and then a loud horn sounded, and it was the most awful sound I've ever heard.

"Well… that can't be good." And it wasn't. Decidedly so.

As we flowed towards the gate leading out of the elven boarders with the river, it was clear to see that they were shutting it. I happened to look downwards in desperation.

_What the…?_

"And neither can this. GUYS!" I called at the top of my voice, most of them glanced back at me, Thorin didn't, he was too preoccupied with the gate. "THIS _CANNOT_ BE GOOD!" I held up my sword which had somehow reappeared in my belt.

Everyone's eyes seemed to widen slightly, "But the elves..!" Kili shouted over.

"Yes Kils I know!" I barked back using a nickname I'd coined for him over our journey, just to bring some variation in.

"NO!" Thorin yelled as he was stopped in his barrel by the gate.

We were all beginning to pile up, but I was less worried by the gate closing meaning no escape from the elves. The sword hadn't appeared in my cell when we had been captured, it had appeared now.

A menacing growl filled the air and an elven guard dropped into the water like lead.

"Watch out!" Bofur called, "There's orcs!"

"Well that explains it." I muttered rather annoyed, we just couldn't seem to catch a break.

The orcs began fighting with the elves and there were bodies falling into the river left right and centre. One orc jumped down from the bridge above the gate at us and, in complete and utter tandem, Bilbo and I stuck our swords into it as it went for Gloin.

"Bilbo my man!" We high-fived as we looked around for more approaching enemies, gripping our weapons for dear life, at any other time I might have found it weird to get a high-five from Bilbo, but it seemed my oddness was rubbing off because he didn't bat an eyelid when I threw my hand up. He just slapped it with his and on we went.

Fili pushed me behind him as another orc launched towards us, I swear it was lucky no one had died yet, fighting orcs in such confined spaces with no weapons is not ideal. And that's when I saw Kili.

Kili sprang out of his barrel and onto the side, ready to fight his way up to pull the leaver. I scrambled up and leaped after him. I wasn't really going to be anything but a hindrance in the barrel with Fili.

Dwalin with a yell of "KILI" threw him a weapon just as I made it onto the side. Kili, with some brilliant manoeuvring managed to catch the weapon and kill the orc.

Kili turned making his way towards the leaver again battling another orc as I fought with one that had come down behind us. It was at this moment Fili noticed I was missing, as his eyes frantically searched and then finally found me, he yelled "Mimur! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Dancing!" I shouted back sarcastically as I blocked the orcs sword with my own and shoved hard so he stumbled backwards a bit. "What does it look like?!"

Kili, kicked the orc he was fighting into the water, if the splash was anything to go by, just as I stabbed mine right in the gut, it fell backwards with a mighty scream.

"Girl." I muttered as I stepped back, eyes whizzing around looking for the next attacker. Kili darted up the stairs and I followed quickly, I moved backwards fighting off yet another orc as I heard a loud thump.

_I think one might have landed between us. _

With a swish sound a sword came whistling past my head and I looked round quickly to see Fili had hurled a weapon towards the orc in between us both, it hit its mark and the orc went hurtling down, thankfully sidewards and not backwards.

_That could have been really irritating, not to mention dangerous._

Honestly the orc could have flattened me.

I lunged forwards piercing the orc I was fighting right in the chest just as I heard an 'ugh!' from Kili and not a good 'ugh' either. As I span round Fili yelled, "KILI!" and looked more agonized than I'd ever seen him. Kili tried to grasp the leaver but failed, falling down with the arrow stuck out of his leg.

As I ran towards him up the steps an orc ran from down the steps, I had the fleeting thought that I wasn't going to fast enough when an arrow embedded itself in the orc and the orc fell. My head snapped to the side as did Kili's when the female elf from earlier appeared. She shot another orc running down towards us and screamed at me "HELP HIM! GO!"

I nodded at her gratefully…

_I guess whoever you are you hate orcs more than anyone else._

…and took off again towards Kili.

I crouched down as I reached him, grabbing him under the arms, "I can help lift you but you're going to have to pull the leaver!"

He grit his teeth preparing to use his leg again. "On the count of three." I said, "One, two, _three!_" I yanked him up, struggling under his weight as he grasped the leaver and began to pull.

"ZAI!" Bofur shouted loudly and urgently.

I let go of Kili, spun around and brought my sword up to meet the orcs just in time. It looked like we were beginning to win. The more and more orcs that came at us, the more we took out. Blondie showed up, shooting one orc, rather spectacularly, straight through the head as the she elf and I battled orcs from either ends of the stairs.

I heard the gate open and Kili fall back heavily onto the floor as I took the head off another orc. It seemed he'd been able to pull himself back up and grab the leaver again.

"AHH!" He moaned as he fell back to the floor.

Glancing swiftly around I realised there were no more orcs in the immediate vicinity.

"Kili." I spoke through gritted teeth, stashing my sword as I used every ounce of strength afforded to me to drag him up, "You are not going to die today you son of a bitch! You are my best friend."

He laughed almost deliriously as I stumbled towards the top of the bridge with him. "I'll tell my mother you said that."

"No." I groaned "Please don't." Then as I saw the barrels, "Or if you do, tell her I saved your life!" And I pushed him.

"KILI!" Fili shouted eyes wide as Kili landed in his barrel, arrow snapping off painfully. "MIMUR!" But it was a bit too late, the river, and yet another waterfall, had taken them off.

"Well that's just _fantastic_!" I shouted as the orcs began the chase and some of the elven guards advanced on me, I ripped my sword back out expecting a fight.

Blondie, surprising not only me but all the elves as well, called, "Leave her!"

Looking slightly bewildered the elves left me to continue fighting the remaining orcs.

"Hey short stuff! Keep up!" And with a wink Blondie was leaping off, along with the female elf in the direction the orcs went following the dwarves and one very drowned looking hobbit.

"I've run with elves before!" I yelled back as I sped after them, slashing at orcs as we went.

* * *

><p>"Blondie!" I shouted as we caught up with the dwarves, who were doing ridiculously well at fighting off the orcs, seemingly having managed to get their hands on a few of their weapons.<p>

Legolas spun round avoiding an arrow just as I swiped my sword, slashing the legs of the orc trying to take him down from behind. I pointed up at the orcs aiming arrows at the dwarves heads from a higher position than all of us.

"I've got it!" He called back, launching himself onto the heads of two dwarves.

"HOW RUDE!" I yelled as I took out, yet another orc, which came barrelling towards me. Using the momentum I'd built up with my stride to rugby tackle it to the ground.

I stabbed down viciously with my sword, sticking it into his chest before leaping up and continuing on down the side of the river.

Blondie shifted from both feet to one, with some amazing sense of balance as he shot arrows through orcs on his way down the river. "WATCH IT!" I called darting out of the way of one, as I ran.

Eventually joining me on the side once more, fighting off orcs and riding one down a ledge he bellowed, "MIDGET!" I turned and slashed through another orcs gut, ducking, an arrow whistled above my head at the same time killing a particularly ugly looking orc and then suddenly Blondie had his hands around my waist.

"WHAT IN JESUS'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!"

Fili's eyes snapped to us at the sound of my voice. "THIS BELONGS TO YOU!" Blondie shouted to him as he launched me through the air.

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

I flailed around desperately trying not to hit the dwarves with my sword before two tough hands caught me around the waist. Fili plonked me back in the barrel and I grinned at him, "Here!" I passed my sword over. "You're better at this than me!"

Snatching it roughly his voice, deep and gravelly and decidedly angry he glared down at me. "We need to have a serious talk about the positions you put your life in!"

I gulped and ducked as he swung at an orc which sprang towards us, taking off his head.

"I would say you seem slightly irritated."

The force of the glare which landed on me let me know that 'slightly' and 'irritated' were the understatements of the century.

Blondie began darting across the heads of more dwarves to reach the other side of the river again.

_I swear if he steps on me…_

Thorin hurled an axe which went swinging through the air and landed in the orc behind Legolas that had been about to kill him. I was quite grateful Thorin let go of the prejudices he had for that moment at least. As Legolas kicked another orc off the side into the river and shot one last one, it seemed we were finally getting away.

When no more orcs appeared after a while, Fili crudely jabbed my sword back into my scabbard.

"You could have died!" He glared at me crossing his arms.

"I saved Kili's life." I crossed my arms glaring back.

_What a place for our first domestic, a fuckin' barrel._

He swallowed thickly and his face softened slightly. "Don't ever do that to me again."

I breathed in deeply as I looked up at him, he looked so upset. "I can't promise that. Just like you can't promise you wouldn't have done the exact same thing for me or Kili."

Nodding all be it begrudgingly, he tugged me into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "I know." He mumbled into my hair. "But I don't know what I'd do without you, especially now."

I smiled into his chest. "Just consider the fact that that statement goes both ways, I'm sorry I scared you. I'm not sorry I saved Kili and I don't think you are either, you just don't like that it was me who did it."

Fili nodded his chin resting on my head.

"ANYTHING BEHIND US?" Thorin bellowed towards the back of the group as we paddled along.

"NOT THAT I CAN SEE!" Balin called back.

Bofur shot up, his head popping out of his barrel and he spit out a mouthful of water. "I think we've outrun the orcs!"

"Not for long!" Replied Thorin, "We've lost the current. MAKE FOR THE SHORE! Come on lets go!"

Fili paddled our barrel towards the side of the river and managed to hold it steady as I heaved myself out and onto the side. I lay panting for a second before sitting up and grasping his hand, helping him out. Immediately he walked towards Kili and after a few moments of rest, I did too.

When we reached him Bofur was sat there looking at him sympathetically. "I'm fine it's nothing." Kili told him forcing the pain off of his face.

"Looks it too." I raised my eyebrows at him and spoke in a tone clearly conveying that I didn't approve of him playing this off as nothing.

He bit his cheek and breathed out deeply, obviously not having a reply.

"You are a maniac." Bofur said pulling me down to the ground with him for a hug, as I let out a little yelp, not expecting it at all. "You are a complete and utter maniac."

I shrugged. "I've been through this once already. Tell me given the opportunity none of you would have done the same?"

He looked down, unable to lie so blatantly.

"My point exactly."

* * *

><p>"On your feet." Thorin ordered striding past us.<p>

"Kili's wounded," Fili told him, trying to bind his brothers leg the best he could. "His leg needs binding."

"There's an orc pack on our tail, we keep moving." Was Thorin's reply.

I stood and moved over towards him saying, "Harsh, man. Harsh."

Just as Balin asked, "To where?"

"To the mountain," Bilbo was quick to cut in. "we're so close."

"Ah," Moaned Balin, then in a very logical voice he continued. "A lake lies between us and that mountain, we have no way to cross it."

"So then we go round."

_I'm feeling Bilbo's the only optimist here._

"The orcs will run us down as sure as daylight." Dwalin put in, in a gruff tone. "We've no weapons to defend ourselves."

"No daylight in an eclipse." I felt like my two cents might help Bilbo's cause.

Actually it just caused a bit of confusion. "What's an eclipse?" Bombur called over.

I sighed, putting my head in my hands. "Just forget I said anything."

"Bind his leg, quickly." Thorin snapped at Fili and Bofur. "You have two minutes."

"There are other ways to display care and concern than douchebag you know." I informed him with a scowl as I walked back over to Fili, Kili and Bofur.

Thorin gave me what I like to believe was a thoughtful nod. But it might just have been a 'get off my back' nod.

A shadow slipped over us and we all looked up in alarm to see a dark figure standing with a bow pointing at Ori.

_Well this day just keeps getting better._

* * *

><p><strong>Hi Guys,<strong>

**Sorry this update was later than usual. Life got in the way! **

**I hope you enjoyed it though? I'd love to know what you're thinking so far!**

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! **

**Rue**


	24. Bard The Bowman With A Barge

Dwalin leapt in front of Ori, (as we all got hurriedly to our feet), holding a large stick and prepared to run at the unidentified bowman but the bowman with a startling speed and accuracy fired an arrow straight into the middle of the stick between Dwalin's hands. Before turning and shooting another arrow which knocked the rock Kili was preparing to hurl at him straight from _his_ hands and sent it flying off backwards towards the river. Fili grabbed me around the waist and yanked me into him, leaning over slightly so I was shielded by his body as Kili looked wide-eyed from his hand to the bowman as the bloke notched his next arrow and pointed it straight at our heads.

"Do it again." He said, his voice ever so slightly raspy and yet also quite smooth, "And you're _dead._"

"Charming." I muttered sarcastically.

"Excuse me but um…" Balin began to walk forwards with his hands held up in a surrendering motion. "You're from Laketown, if I'm not mistaken."

_Oh yeah, just make conversation with every threatening mad-man we meet. That's totally the way we should go about this. _

The bowman pointed his bow at Balin as he continued to walk forwards, stopping him in his tracks. "That barge over there, it wouldn't be available for hire by any chance?"

The bowman glanced towards his barge and then slowly lowered his bow. I was suddenly reminded that I hadn't relieved myself in a long time. Stepping, or rather struggling out of Fili's embrace, I moved towards the side of the rocks where there was cover in the trees.

I heard a stretching sound and surmised there was now a bow and arrow pointed at the back of my head. Turning back around I noticed, I was right.

"You can't sneak up on me." The bowman informed me giving me a hard look.

I gave an exasperated sigh. "I like to think my sneaking skills are a little…" I held my thumb and finger close together illustrating my point. "More refined."

The bowman raised his eyebrows.

"Dude, I need to pee."

He flicked his eyes to the sword on my waist. I shook my head slightly, sighing in an irritated manner once more before grasping the sword by the hilt and taking it out slowly.

The bowman's eyes narrowed and I scoffed. "Please the fact that you even _think_ I could block an arrow with a sword and manage to attack you before you shot me is laughable." I looked to the side, "Fili!" Throwing my sword in an upwards motion by the hilt, Fili caught it and the bowman swung his bow to face him. "Can I go now?"

Glancing back at me, as Fili held my sword by his side and lowering his bow slightly the guy nodded.

"Thank you." I replied my tone clearly conveying the annoyance I felt as I moved off towards the woods. "Bloody men."

* * *

><p>When I came back I found only Bofur waiting for me on the rocks, now holding my sword. "Here you go lassie." He passed it to me and I sheathed it looking around puzzled.<p>

Bofur nodded forwards towards the barge, "Over there." He then grinned, appraising my braid. "Took you long enough."

"Shut up." I shot back nudging him with my elbow.

He smiled at me. "I'm really happy for you Zai. Think of it, engaged to a prince."

I baulked slightly, "What's this engaged bollocks? There was no talk of weddings."

Bofur laughed loudly. "That braid is a courting braid, but we dwarves only love once so marriage is a given, you'll be married soon, you know it might be quite funny to see you trying to keep up with all the traditions…" He mused as he trailed off.

"I'm not doing nothing until he proposes." I crossed my arms defiantly over my chest.

Bofur frowned at me slightly, "Proposes? Proposes what?"

I shook my head smiling slightly at having to explain the simplest things. "Marriage. In my world a man goes and buys a ring, then gets down on one knee and asks the woman to marry him, and then she says yes… well not always but still… then if she says yes, he puts the ring on this finger." I tapped my left ring finger. "And hey presto! Engaged to be married."

"What are you talking about?" Fili asked joining us as we walked further onto the little dock.

"Zai was just telling me how people become betrothed in her world. The man gets a ring and then gets down on one knee and asks the woman to marry him, and then if she says yes he puts the ring on," He held up my hand and pointed to my left ring finger, "This finger, thus sealing the betrothal."

Fili raised his eyebrows at me. "How odd."

"Not odd." I muttered. "Romantic." And I strode off over to Kili. "Hey Kils how's it hanging?"

Kili moved his eyes from side to side before looking at me puzzled. "How is _what_ hanging?"

I groaned, "Your penis." He looked shocked, turning red which made Gloin and Bombur burst out in laughter. "No seriously," I said, "It means how are you? How is everything going for you? That sort of thing."

Kili nodded slightly bemused. "I am well thank you." And then with a sly grin as Fili appeared next to me placing his arm around my waist, Kili continued. "And my penis is hanging to the right."

If Fili had had a drink in his mouth he would have spit it out. Bofur laughed loudly with Gloin, Nori, Bombur and Dori as Fili asked spluttering slightly, "Why do you wish to know about my brothers private part positions?!"

I buried my head in Fili's chest bright red. "I don't. Next time remind me not to be sarcastic around him. He takes it way to seriously."

Fili didn't reply as everyone else quietened down to listen to Balin's conversation with the bowman who was loading barrels onto the barge.

And then… "The only persons private parts you ever need to enquire about are mine." He slyly grinned as he placed a kiss in my hair. "And I yours."

The tingling, aroused sensation which went through me at that sentence gave me goose bumps and I shivered against him. At his sharp intake of breath, as we were pressed together clothes still soaking wet, I don't think that helped matters.

* * *

><p>"What makes you think I would help you?" Asked the bowman loudly, as he continued rolling the barrels onto his barge.<p>

"Those boots have seen better days, as has that coat." Replied Balin and I snorted lightly into Fili's chest.

_What a way to convince someone to help. Tell him he looks like a ragamuffin. _

I observed the man for a few seconds running my eyes up and down him and biting my lip. The bloke noticed me watching him and ran his eyes over me, shooting me a wink. Kili and I stood leaning against a wall, Fili stood in front of me.

_A really hot ragamuffin._

Fili it seemed did not miss this exchange. He glared harshly at the bowman and growled under his breath pulling me into him more tightly than before, squashing himself against me and me against the wall even more so. Kili raised his eyebrows at me pressing his lips together firmly and I looked down suitably chastised.

"Dwarves," Bofur whispered leaning in close to my ear, his words only for me, "Are very jealous people." He glanced up at the harsh look on Fili's face and then down at the tight grip he had on me. "And very possessive."

I nodded placing my arms around Fili and hugging him to me, hoping to placate him a little. I didn't mean anything by checking out the bowman, he was attractive but Fili was the person I was in love with and nothing could top how he looked in my opinion. Still, I don't think I would have liked Fili checking out another girl and her winking back at him either.

"Ah, no doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed." Said Balin with a chuckle. "How many baerns?"

_How many what now?_

"A boy and two girls." The bowman replied, swinging another barrel onto the boat.

"Oh children…" I murmured to myself. "How many children… that makes sense."

Fili shook his head grinning down at me. I looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"What?" I asked in a rather sweet voice, when compared with other tones I'd used, especially considering most of the time I'd been here there had been a lot of yelling and rushing.

Licking his lips slightly, and pulling one between his teeth he replied. "Nothing," With a smirk before leaning down and kissing me, my lip ring pushing firmly back against my teeth.

My breath was taken away as I leaned into him bringing one hand to rest softly on his cheek as our mouths parted and our tongues met. I was never going to get used to kissing Fili, or, I thought as he pulled away, how giddy it made me.

"Nothing at all." He beamed.

Kili raised his eyebrows at me suggestively with a sly smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth and I pushed him lightly on the arm with the palm of my hand. Not wanting to hurt him more if I caught him funny and knocked him off balance. Although feeling he deserved me to do something.

"And your wife I imagine she's… she's a beauty?" Asked Balin smiling at the bowman.

The bowman stopped loading his barrels for a second and just stood. I felt a pang of worry in my stomach.

_That's probably not good. _

"Aye." He answered in a thoughtful and wistful tone. "She was."

I breathed in and the air gusting between my teeth made a slight hissing sound as I grasped Fili a little snugger. I didn't want to ever have to say anything like that concerning him. Ever.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" Balin muttered the happiness dropping from his voice as he shook his head gently when the bowman turned to look at him.

Dwalin had none of his brothers' sympathy when he cut him off. "Oh come on, come on, enough of the niceties." He said in a low voice from behind Thorin as the bowman turned to look at him.

"What's your hurry?" Called the bowman.

I scoffed into Fili's embrace. "What isn't?"

The bowman didn't hear me, thankfully. "What's it to you?!" Asked Dwalin in a rather challenging tone, considering we needed help from this man.

"I would like to know who you are." The bowman announced with a smile as he strode off the boat once more.

"Oh!" I said, once again struggling from Fili's embrace, and striding towards the bowman holding out my hand. "Zalia Lucas, pleasure to meet you." I flashed him a sincere smile and he grinned back shaking my hand.

An act which completely confounded the dwarves. "What are they doing?" Asked Ori his confused voice sounding loud and clear from behind me. "Why are they touching?" Fili growled just as Bombur put in, "Odd greeting."

"Bard Armenta. Pleasure is all mine, my lady." We dropped hands. "I didn't think dwarves had last names… and you seem _decidedly_… human." He said appraising me once more. "Well except…" He indicated to my height.

"Perhaps I'm just special." I suggested with a wink.

He grinned broadly. "And well versed in the ways and traditions of men. I have never once met a dwarf who knew what a handshake was."

"Like I said special."

He narrowed his eyes at me slightly and strode towards Balin as I walked back towards Fili shrugging. "So who are you? And what are you doing in these lands?"

"What was that?" Whispered Kili as I approached.

"That's called being polite!" I snapped back. "Jesus, what do you guys think humans don't have social norms as well?"

Fili just grabbed me and held me tightly once more. I frowned up at him. "Are you jealous?" I asked as Balin tried to convince Bard we were merchants going to see family. "You're jealous."

"Am not."

"Are so!" I beamed up at him and ran my hand softly along his jaw, brushing over his beard which felt scratchy against my hand. "You have nothing to be jealous of." I told him seriously, looking him in the eyes, he didn't seem entirely convinced but his grip loosened ever so slightly.

I was distracted from the moment I was having with Fili as Thorin cut in. "We need food, supplies, weapons. Can you help us?" He strode forwards slightly, gripping his wrist and looking oddly nervous.

Bard thoughtfully rubbed his hand against one of the broken bits of the barrels, as he announced. "I know where these barrels came from."

"What of it?" Asked Thorin dangerously.

"I don't know what business you had with the elves." Bard strode forwards on his barge, his walk a slight saunter. "But I don't think it ended well."

"Understatement of the century." I muttered as Thorin glared at him.

This time Bard did hear me and he threw an amused glance in my direction.

"No one enters Laketown but by leave of the Master. All his wealth comes from trade with the woodland realm. He would see you in irons before risking the wrath of King Thranduil." He threw Balin the mooring rope from the barge.

Balin looked over at Thorin, who seemed content to let Balin do the talking merely inclining his head and muttering, "Offer him more."

Balin widened his eyes slightly but approached Bard again as Bard picked up his bow and quiver, and started towards the front of the boat.

"I'll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen." Balin called with a slight thrust of his arm towards Bard for emphasis.

"Aye." Bard continued towards the front of his boat, laying down his weapons he began to untie the rope at the other end. Balin following after him quickly. "But for that you would need a smuggler."

"For which we would pay." Bard looked up at Balin thoughtfully. "_Double_."

As he stood appraising Balin, he stated slowly. "There is no doubt I could use the money. But it is a big risk to my family."

I noticed the sense of human doubt on his face and realised I knew just where to hit him. "Sure!" I called. "But the guilt of leaving us here, when you have to go and look your children in the eye again. That's worse."

His head snapped to me. "You sound just like my wife."

I grinned. "Great minds think alike."

He thought about it for a few more seconds.

"Please." I put in with a sigh. "It's not like there's nothing in it for you and anyways, you can't be all complaining about your government and doing nothing about it! I'd wager you don't have elections any more. Probably because you're all too chicken shit to defy this 'master' dude." Fili squeezed my side warningly and I could see the others all holding their breath. "Shame that. Doesn't really bode well for those kiddies either."

He nodded, face set. "There is definitely something human about you." And then sighed heavily. "Fine I will help. Not only for the monetary reasons, but because the girl knows what she's talking about, she makes a lot of sense, a great point. Meer complaining will get me nowhere."

I smiled at him as the others let out their breaths and stepped onto the barge, I stepped on too. "Welcome to the side of anarchy my friend."

He grinned. "Certainly human."

* * *

><p>I felt slightly bad we were deceiving the poor bloke, but not so much as we all stood at the front of the barge, my back leaning against Fili's chest and I saw exactly what we were paying him.<p>

"Jesus the guys gonna be minted." I stated looking at all the coins on the table. "Who needs that much money?"

The dwarves looked at me sceptically. "That." Bofur pointed towards the pile. "Is not a lot of money, not in the grand scheme of things."

"Dude," Came my reply. "In my world you could live on that much gold for a year. Mind you our coins are made out of fake gold and they're really not worth that much in the grand scheme of things."

"Watch out!" Shouted Bofur as some rocks rose up from the mist. Seeming to come out of nowhere.

I will admit I was a little worried, but Bard steered us round impeccably.

"What are you trying to do? Drown us?" Asked Thorin confrontationally and I sighed.

There was something wrong with Thorin, the closer we got to this mountain the worse he became.

"I was born and bred on these waters Master Dwarf," Came Bard's reply, it, in my opinion was rather amusing. "If I wanted to drown you…" He heaved his tiller over, "I would not do it here." I snorted.

"Oh I've had enough of this lippy Lakeman." Dwalin murmured to us. "I say we throw him over the side and be done with it."

"I rather like him." I muttered back. "I think he's funny."

"Funny looking maybe." Fili grumbled from behind me, his chest rumbling against my back.

"Don't be mean!" I admonished him. "And anyway, throw him over we're doomed any more rocks like that pop up!"

"Bard," Bilbo cut in standing with his arms crossed leaning on a barrel. "His name's Bard."

"How do you know?" Asked Oin, who had obviously missed the whole conversation earlier.

Bilbo sighed with a shake of his head. "Zalia asked him."

"Why? When was that? When he was touching her?" At Oin's questions Fili snarled again and stiffened his grip on me, arms tense.

Bilbo shook his head slightly as Gloin tried to explain our earlier conversation to his brother and Dwalin continued. "I don't care what he calls himself, I don't like 'im."

Balin, playing older brother, oh so well, pronounced, "We do not have to like him! We simply…" He placed another stack of coins, sliver this time, on the makeshift table. "Have to pay him. Come on now lads, turn out your pockets."

The men grumbled slightly but began pulling sacks of coins from their pockets. At the sight of Fili's sack my eyes widened. "That's huge!" I whispered.

He smiled slightly at me. "It's not bad."

I felt my eyebrows rise into my hairline. "Not bad." I muttered. "I've never seen so much silver and gold in my life...not the real stuff on one person anyway!"

"There's um… just a wee problem." Balin stated which caught Thorin's attention and he came striding over. "We're ten coins short."

Everyone began sighing and Bilbo and I shared a worried look. "Oh god." I moaned. "It's like getting into a taxi without the money to pay the fair."

"Taxi?" Dori asked slowly.

"A moving car… like the thing I was in when I…" I searched for the right word. "Ended up here, but you can hire it with a driver to take you where you want to go. The price is depending on how far you go and how long the journey takes."

"Gloin. Come on. Give us what you have." Said Thorin leaning against the side of the barge with his arms crossed.

"Don't look to me!" He raised a finger and used it to emphasise certain words. "I have been _bled_ _dry_ by this venture. What have I seen for my investment, naught but misery and grief and…." He trailed off as he realised we were no longer listening.

Fili straightened up behind me as we stared through the mist at Erebor. Even Kili rose, all-be-it slightly shakily, to his feet.

"Bless my beard…" Gloin now sounded awed as he passed a small bag to Balin. "Take it." It rattled in his hand. "Take all of it."

Bilbo cleared his throat and we all looked round. Bard, it seemed, was joining us.

"The money quick! Give it to me!"

Thorin's deep voice cut across Bard's rather urgent one. "We will pay you when we get our provisions but not before."

Bard stared at him disbelievingly. "If you value your freedom, you'll do as I say. There are guards ahead."

Fili cuddled me as my body shuddered when my breathing became rough. We looked towards the town we could see now, through the mist on the lake.

Balin scooped up the money and paid the bowman. "Right." Bard looked more in charge. "Get in the barrels."

As Fili went to help me in Bard grasped my arm. "Not you."

I swear I thought Fili was going to punch him from the look on his face. I placed a hand on his arm to stop that outcome and looked quizzically at Bard. "Why?"

"You can pass for a human child. Take out your jewellery and keep your cloak tight." I nodded undoing my lip ring and nose studs, taking off my rings and placing them in my pockets, I pulled out my earrings and put those away too.

Fili and the others looked up at me from inside the barrels, "You look odd." Gloin announced appraising me without my body adornments.

"I feel odd." I said running a hand over where my lip ring should be.

"The braid-" Bard started.

"Is _utterly_ non-negotiable." I cut him off with a harsh tone and swift glare that had all the dwarves grinning.

He pursed his lips but nodded, "Hopefully it will not draw attention…. Here."

As we strode away from the barrels he threw a large set of bandages my way and I caught them, he nodded towards my chest and I turned, lifting my shirt when I faced away from him and shuddering against the cold wind as I wrapped my bosom, trying to flatten them down as much as possible. It would have been considerably nicer in this situation, to be as small chested as some women I know, rather than a woman with a larger bust. When I had finished, shirt pulled back down, I turned to face Bard.

He nodded and whispered in an undertone, "Still try to keep your cloak tight, but it should do." Then frowned slightly, "It's strange you are not in a dress. You'll have to claim you were travelling and your family fell if we're questioned. The master and his minions do not turn away homeless children."

I nodded face set and pulled my cloak tightly around me, taking up residence on the floor by the barrels.

"What's he doing?" Asked Dwalin as we pulled up to a dock and Bard left the barge to go and talk to someone.

"He's talking to someone," Bilbo replied. Obviously having found a hole in his barrel. "He's pointing right at us! Now they're shaking hands!"

"What?" Snapped Thorin.

"He's selling us out!" Dwalin joined in sounding just as angry.

"Oh take a bloody chill pill." I muttered in annoyance, kicking the barrel slightly. "Oh my god, that is just…" I broke off giggling to myself as Bard's plan became clear to me.

They were going to be in barrels which he was having filled with fish.

_I'm so glad I'm not in a barrel._

"What?!" Thorin called urgently. "What's he doing?!... _Zalia!_"

"You'll see." I replied in a sing-song voice, skipping away from the barrels a large grin on my face.

At the sounds of the dwarves being hit by the wet fish dropping on them I cackled slightly, before creasing up in silent laughter and rolling around the deck of the barge. Acting very convincingly childlike obviously as one of the men, told Bard and I quote 'his little girl was delightful', it was hard to be offended when I was in such good spirits.

* * *

><p>The dwarves began moaning and groaning in the barrels, Bilbo too as I sat on the floor of the barge, resting against the higher part Bard stood on to steer.<p>

"How's it hanging in there guys?" I still was unable to wipe the smile off my face.

"Quiet." Bard snapped, as they all began to answer me at once, kicking a barrel. "We're approaching the toll gate."

My face sobered and I pulled my cloak tightly around me, this was it.

I shared a meaningful look with Bard.

_Either we'll be fine. Or…we're all doomed._

* * *

><p><strong>So they're almost in Laketown!<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed that one guys! And the two chapters made up for having none the last few days!**

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews!**

**Rue**


	25. Motherly Instinct

Laketown was quite literally that. A town on a lake. Kind of like Venice but much less grand and beautiful also, made entirely out of wood which Venice is not.

_So humans still don't have the best place naming capabilities. _I thought to myself as I wondered just _what_ exactly was going to be the same in this place, and what would be different about my people. Or more… my original species, should I say.

"HALT! GOOD'S INSPECTION!" Called a rather high male voice, considering all the others I'd heard thus far in Middle-Earth were deep, very much so. "PAPERS PLEASE!"

I shot a look towards Bard and he gave a slight shake of his head, I took that to mean this guy was nothing to worry about.

"Oh it's you Bard." The man had a small lantern and was looking out at Bard smiling.

"Morning Percy." Bard replied, steering the boat slowly up to the side of the dock.

"Anything to declare?" Asked Percy in a light tone as if he knew the answer already.

"Nothing." Bard called back to him, "But that I am cold and tired and ready for home." He jumped down and walked towards the man pulling a piece of paper from his coat and handing it to him, rubbing his chin thoughtfully he added. "And I found a young'un, all by herself. I think she might like a warm bed too." He indicated at me smiling in the way you do with scared children.

Keeping the cloak tightly wrapped around me I looked up at Percy willing my eyes to appear as wide an innocent as possible. "Oh dear." The man said smiling, kindly. "Well don't you worry sweet'art Bard will have you well looked after."

I flashed him a small smile as he looked away from me and continued talking to Bard, taking the paper from his hand. "You and me both."

Bard leaned against the barrels and glanced down at them slightly nervously as he looked back at me and gave me a grim grin. As far as I could figure this was going as well as we could have possibly hoped for.

"There we are." Percy said his long grey hair hanging either side of him, giving a smile from under his beard at me as he went to hand the paper back to Bard. "All in order."

"Not. So. Fast."

_Oh fuck it._

A creepy… or more like skeevy looking little man, with a slightly hunched back, greasy black hair, a dark black mono-brow, small thin looking 'pedo-tash' as my dad had called them, and all black clothing plucked the paper from Percy's hand.

His creepy dark eyes settled on me for a second before he looked back to Bard in a self-satisfied and rather irritating kind of way. As if he was gloating. I grit my teeth, this could not be good.

_He reminds me of a less threatening Severus Snape._

"Consignment of empty barrels from the woodland realm." He read off the paper in the most annoying and condescending voice I'd ever heard.

Bard looked grimmer by the second.

"Only they're not empty…" His shoes clacked as he walked onto the deck pointing at the barrels with the paper and then letting it fly from his hands. Soldiers following him down slightly but not onto the barge. "…are they Bard?"

Bard, for what it's worth. Totally stared the guy down.

The man slowly walked round to me and I took in a deep breath, he slipped his hand under my chin as I resisted the urge to shiver and pulled my face slightly so I was looking him in the eyes.

"Pretty little thing you picked up 'ere. You'll be looking after 'er I spose." He shot at Bard.

Bard nodded. "Aye. That I will."

The creep smiled back at me in a way that made my skin crawl. "Prap's you could tell us w'as in these barrels?"

I swallowed and then, pushing all the acting ability I had from years of drama at school and working in bars and theatres into one word I said, "…Fish?"

If I could have, I would have fist pumped the air. The slight widening of Bard's eyes, the shocked but slightly delighted and admiring look which flashed quickly on his face told me I had aced the child's voice.

"Indeed." The man dropped his hand from my face and turned to face Bard again, striding back to his previous position. "If I recall correctly, you're licenced as a bargeman. _Not_," He picked up a fish from the top of one of the barrels and held it in Bards face. "A fisherman!" He stated loudly.

"That's none of your business." Bard stated quietly, shaking his head and looking down at the man harshly.

The man began to sway on his feet in delight at the challenge. "Wrong. It's the Masters business." _Oh the man's the Master's little bitch… makes total sense. _"Which makes it my business."

"Oh come on Alfred have a heart. People need to eat!" Bard replied, getting louder as he swayed slightly himself, it sounded like he was getting worried.

"These fish are illegal!" Alfred announced storming off the barge and throwing a fish in the water. "Empty the barrels over the side."

"You 'eard him. In the canal." Ordered the soldier obviously in charge. "Come on get a move on."

The others walked on and grasped the barrels. I gave Bard a wide-eyed, 'do something' look. Bard shot me back a look which clearly said 'give me something to work with' so I did the only thing I could think of. I cried. I began bawling loudly and buried my face in my hands, before looking up at Bard, like a frightened child, shaking for good measure.

"Mister." I sniffed, "Why's he throwing away food! I'm so hungry." And I bawled even louder.

Alfred looked completely out of his comfort zone as I got louder and more hysterical and Bard yelled. "Folk in this town are struggling." He threw an uneasy glance at the soldiers. "Times are hard, food is _scarce_!"

The soldiers were now beginning to grab the barrels and shift them towards the side of the boat.

"That's not my problem." Said Alfred glancing even more fretfully at me as I moved over and grasped Bards arm now crying into his coat, close enough Alfred couldn't ignore me.

"And when the people hear the master is dumping fish back in the lake…" Bard turned his head to face Alfred, giving me a fake soothing rub on the back. "When the rioting starts…" His voice got harder and lower as we heard some fish plopping back into the water. "Will it be your problem then?"

The little man observed Bard for a second before lifting his hand and growling out "Stop."

I toned down my acting from cries to sobs, and sobs to sniffles as Bard continued to rub my back in a faux soothing manner.

"Ever the people's champion eh Bard?" Asked Alfred, lowly and dangerously as the soldiers righted the barrels again. "Protector of the common folk." He looked down at me and then snapped his eyes back to Bard. "You might have their favour now bargeman but it won't last."

Bard and I let out little gusts of air in tandem, as Percy yelled, "Raise the gate."

There was a clacking and creaking. Bard led me back to the rear of the boat and hopped up to steer, I hopped up with him.

"The Master has his eye on you! You'd do well to remember." Shouted Alfred, threateningly as we moved off. "We know where you live."

"It's a small town Alfred!" Bard called in a loud voice before lowering his tone to almost a growl. "Everyone knows where everyone lives."

I scoffed into my cloak.

_Bard 1 Alfred 0_

We slipped off further into the town, and Bard looked down at me. "That was amazing."

"You weren't too bad yourself." I grinned giving him a low five.

He nodded, "We made a good team."

"Yes sir!" I agreed.

* * *

><p>As we moved through the town on the barge I took my chance to look around. "Oh my days!" I exclaimed. "Pugs you have pugs! Awesome! Ugly little bastards…"<p>

Bard grinned at me. "Don't let Mrs Willows here you say that." He warned, "They're her babies."

As soon as we pulled up somewhere safe, Bard began kicking the barrels over and the dwarves, splashed out with the fish. Coughing, spluttering and rather worse for wear. Plus they _stunk_.

Fili stood and came to hug me but I put my hands in front of me and stepped back. "Nuh uh! No way you guys totally hum! Have a bath first!" He raised his eyebrows at me and I tacked on, "Please?"

He nodded and resigned himself to standing next to me and engulfing my hand with his larger one.

"Get your hands off me!" Announced Dwalin as he pushed his way from the top of the barrel.

Bard looked shocked at his confrontational nature, he glanced at me questioningly.

"Don't worry about him." I told Bard, "Dwalin's just our regular little ray of sunshine."

Dwalin shot me an angry look and I shot him a sarcastic smile in return. Bard tried hard not to smirk, as he continued to help the others.

A man was stood at the end of the barge and I nudged Bard as he passed me, nodding to the man. Striding over Bard placed one silver coin in the man's hand. "You didn't see them. They were never here." He told him, he went to walk away and then looked back. "The fish you can have for nothing."

Bard hurriedly strode through all of us, where we stood, now having alighted from the barge. "Follow me!"

We all did as he said, sneaking round in alleys but I had the odd feeling of curious eyes on me sometimes and it worried me.

"DA!" There came a shout and a boy rounded the corner.

_Not even an adult and he still makes me look like a midget. These days were meant to be over!_

"Our house." He looked at Bard imploringly. "It's being watched." Then stared at all of us confused as Bard turned thoughtfully away.

The others ignored him completely. I had more manners than that. "Zalia Lucas." I said holding out my hand to the boy, "Honoured to make your acquaintance."

The dwarves looked at me like I had grown three heads but the boy smiled. "Bain Armenta… you are an unusually smooth faced dwarf." He cocked his head. "And a strange bunch indeed." He gestured to the dwarves.

I smiled. "It's a long story."

Bard called the dwarves over, "You need to swim round from here, there will be a small boat at the back of the house, you will know which is mine if you look for a my name painted on the boat, and you must come in through the bottom of the…" He winced, "Toilet."

The dwarves did not look amused, but begrudgingly on Thorin's orders went along with Bards plan. Fili went to pull me off with the dwarves but Bard stopped him. "She must come with me. They've seen her, they'll expect her."

Fili looked as if he was going to argue. "He's right." I cut in, "Fils you _know_ he's right."

Gritting his teeth and giving me a harsh look he stomped away with the others.

"I do not think he likes me." Bard said as Bain raised his eyebrows.

I sighed. "Don't worry about it, he doesn't like anyone but the company anywhere near me."

We quickly explained to Bain what my cover story was and then we were off, walking around to Bards house, Bain holding my hand as If showing me the way, and pointing out bits of the town a small child might find interesting.

"See and this is our home." Bain said kindly, "Yours now too." As we walked up some wooden steps and he pointed to the blue door.

"You mean it?!" I asked in an excited child's voice.

Bain nodded and opened the door, leading me in and gesturing for his sisters to keep quiet, Bard paused in the doorway and looked back whistling. He threw an apple down to two men in a boat. "You can tell the Master I'm done for the day." And then he followed us inside shutting the door.

"Thank Christ for that." I said as soon as we were inside, using my normal voice again.

Bards eldest daughter raised her eyebrows, "You are not a child."

"Nope." I popped the 'p', "I'm a dwarf actually." I moved over to the mirror and began putting my jewellery back in staring with my ears, nose, lip working my way down to my rings. I very nearly slipped the claddagh ring on the wrong way but didn't.

"I'll explain in a minute." Bard said, and this was seemingly enough for his children.

"Da! Where've you been?" Asked the younger one running to embrace him as the older one came over.

"Father there you are, I was worried!" She also hugged her father tightly.

The scene made me ache slightly for my own father and I turned away with a stiff sigh.

"Bain, get them in." Bard addressed his children. "Sigrid, show Zalia your room."

* * *

><p>I followed the older girl to her room and she smiled at me kindly. "What's it like being a dwarf?"<p>

I grinned "I don't rightly know myself." I said, unwrapping the bandages from around my chest, allowing my bosom to be in the right place again. "I'm a special case."

Nodding she smirked. "You are really lovely looking."

I started slightly, shocked. "Erm, thanks."

"No problem… I wish, OH! Wait!" She dug around in a wardrobe a little and found a set of clothes and a worn backpack. "Here put these on. They haven't fit me for so long and then when your things are dry you can keep them in here."

I smiled at the girl as I pulled the warm green shirt over my head and grey breeches on, she also gave me some dry underwear and "OH! You have a bra and it's my size!"

She grinned at me "Of course! That was my first try it's way too big for me cup size wise." At my raised eyebrows she hurried to explain herself. "Well, we have to make them ourselves because corsets are so expensive so it's probably not the most comfortable..."

I beamed at her, "It's perfect." And quickly removed my top again to change bras then put it back on finally feeling dry. I also yanked off my sopping wet boots and socks.

"Wow!"

"What?" I glanced up and she pointed at my right foot. "Oh that. It's nothing."

I had a tattoo. But not a tattoo like the tattoo's they had in Middle-Earth, a more refined modern one. A beautiful moon and stars tattoo on my foot, with a few shooting, twinkling stars and a large crescent moon, in black and grey.

"It's amazing." She sighed.

"I got it when my grandma died. She used to sing me a song about the moon and stars and it seemed fitting." I grimaced.

"I think it's lovely."

We strolled back into the main room and began hanging my clothes by the fire just at the same time as the dwarves began coming in.

"Da…" Sigrid asked uncertainly. "Why are there dwarves climbing out of our toilet?" She leaned over the banister to stare.

"Will they bring us luck?!" Asked the smaller girl wide-eyed and excited.

I patted her on the back giggling. "Not too sure about that sweetie."

* * *

><p>Once everyone was in Bard had his daughters, the younger of whom I now knew was called Tilda, walking round handing people clothes and refreshments.<p>

"They may not be the best fit. But they'll keep you warm." He announced.

Bilbo seemed to be the only one who thanked Tilda for the clothes. "You're all really rude." I muttered slapping Fili and Kili around the back of the head as I passed and followed Bilbo to the window where Thorin stood.

"A dwarfish windlance." He muttered under his breath as if it was impossible.

I glanced outside, "Just looks like a weird bow to me." I mumbled as Bilbo nudged me in the side. "Ow."

He raised his eyebrows at me and then looked to Thorin in a shifty manner. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"He has, the last time we saw such a weapon a city was on fire."

_Jesus! Am I the only person that's beginning to think Balin always knows when to pop up and explain weird shit Thorin does? _

"It was the day the dragon came. The day that Smaug destroyed Dale." As Balin talked I was rather certain I could see it all happening in my head, hear the children screaming. Man the guy had a talent for telling stories. "Girion the lord of the city rallied his bowman to fire upon the beast, but a dragon's hide is tough. Tougher than the strongest armour. Only a black arrow, fired from a windlance, could have pierced the dragon's hide. And few of those arrows were ever made. The store was running low when Girion made his last stand."

Thorin cut in, in a low, controlled voice that almost had me shivering. "Had the aim of men, been true that day… much would have been different." He almost sounded like he was tearing up.

"You speak as if you were there." Bard, looked at Balin and Thorin calculatingly and I tried feebly to excuse myself. It didn't work, Bilbo grasped my arm so I couldn't leave him in the middle of this alone.

"All dwarfs know the tale." Answered Thorin cunningly.

_We're still going for deceit then. Lovely. _

Bain came around the back of Bard cutting in, "Then you would know that Girion hit the dragon, he loosened a scale under the left wing. One more shot and he would have killed the beast."

Dwalin chuckled rather nastily from behind them as I began to think there was more to this than a meer story for the family.

"That's a fairy story lad, nothing more." Dwalin lost the chuckle from his voice as he told Bain this and I gulped, neither human looked happy.

"You took our money, where are the weapons?" Thorin asked Bard striding forwards.

"Wait here." Bard went to collect the weapons.

I patted Bain on the arm. "Don't worry about him mate, believe what you want to believe. They can be real pessimistic kill-joys sometimes." Bain nodded at me through slightly clouded eyes. I frowned, "Cheer up sonny, it could be worse, every cloud has a silver lining."

He grinned at me weakly. "That's what my Ma used to say."

I smiled back as I sat down next to him on a stool near Fili and Kili, "My Grams told me it all the time. Then there was that stupid catchy song…" I trailed off.

"Always look on the bright side of life?!" Bain asked sounding excitable again.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "That's the ticket! It's all like… da da da da da da da da…" I badly sounded out the tune and Bain joined in laughing.

"Oh." He muttered gasping for breath as Bard re-entered carrying the weapons. "It does make you smile though."

I nodded, "Oh yeah, totally."

The dwarves just stared at us rather confounded.

_Obviously a human thing._

Fili suddenly lifted up my foot, nearly tipping me off the chair, and ran a hand over my tattoo. "What?!" I asked.

"I never knew." He murmured.

"Is it a problem?"

"Not at all."

I grinned at him.

"How did you earn it?" He asked.

I raised my eyebrows, "I didn't I brought it." This prompted a bit of a conversation about the differences in tattoo's where I was from to here and we had to lean close and whisper for fear of any of Bards family overhearing.

Fili seemed quite amused by the thought you could just go and 'commission' a tattoo, as he put it. I pointed out that we might need to have some conversations about culture differences soon, just as the weapons clanged onto the table.

"We have only two moons left until the end of Autumn, when Durin's day will fall. We must reach the mountain in time." I looked up at Fili confused by Thorin's words.

"Two months," He muttered, as Kili asked Thorin quietly, "And if we do not?"

"Then this quest has been for nothing." Fili answered.

And we all turned to look at the weapons with the others.

* * *

><p>To say the dwarves were disappointed would be an understatement.<p>

Fili and Kili looked despairingly at the weapons as Thorin held up a rather odd looking thing and growled. "What is this?"

"Pike hook." Informed Bard. "Made from an old harpoon."

Kili twirled a hammer, which looked quite heavy but seemed to weigh nothing to him, in front of Fili. "And this?"

"A crowbill we call it. Fashioned from a smithy's hammer. It's heavy in hand I grant but in defence of your life these will serve you better than none." Bard placed his hands on the table and nodded down at all of us. The men in particular.

"We paid you for weapons." Gloin looked utterly disgusted with the 'weapons' on offer. "Iron, forged swords and axes."

"It's a joke." Bofur exclaimed throwing his weapon down along with the others.

I heard a quiet sniffle and gave a loud whistle. The company fell silent looking at me and I sent them all furious glares. "At your ages I would _expect_ you to know better than to argue in front of children."

I span on my heels and walked over to Tilda, hugging her lightly around the shoulders I said, "Come on, lets go in your room, I bet you've got some really special dollies."

She looked up at me still sniffling quietly. "They like nice stories. Do you know nice stories?"

"Oh." I replied in an over-exaggerated happy voice. "_Loads_. Buckets of them."

She smiled weakly at me and stood up leading me away as I sent one more furious look to the men in my company as they looked at me confounded apparently at my soft side for children. I don't know why though… I am a girl. Maybe they just thought I'd be useless with them.

After an hour or so I left Tilda happily playing in her room, and stormed back out to see no Bard, and thirteen dwarves and a hobbit sitting with Bain and Sigrid.

"Mimur." I brushed past Fili without even a glance in his direction.

"Zai." Bofur tried, and then Kili. I didn't acknowledge either one.

"Zalia." I ignored Thorin as well as I slammed about in the kitchen making myself some tea and a nice cup of juice for Tilda, managing to find some biscuits to put on a plate to take back to her as well.

"Er… Zalia," Bilbo looked uncertainly at me. "Oh hi Bilbo." I smiled at him. "What can I do for you?"

"Could I possibly have some of that tea?" He asked.

I nodded and poured another cup, "Bain, Sigrid?" I asked turning to Bard's other children. "Would you like any?"

They shook their heads and replied quite politely, although suppressing grins. "No thank you."

"Here you are Bilbo." I handed him the cup and placed the items on a tray, beginning to walk back into Tilda's room.

"You might like to know we will need to enter the armoury for appropriate weapons tonight." Thorin announced as I got to the doorway.

I paused, nodded and then turned to face the company. "And you might like to know you should all be _ashamed _of yourselves. Until that little girl has an apology you'll be hearing no more out of me."

* * *

><p>Surprising me immensely, just as I was tucking Tilda in, (probably way past her bedtime), there came a small cough from the door.<p>

I turned and saw Thorin with the others, minus Bilbo, all piled up behind him in the doorway.

"We just wanted to apologise, we didn't mean to frighten you earlier." He told the small child as she squeaked slightly.

A thoughtful expression came over her face and she nodded at them all. "That's okay. Miss Zalia said I shouldn't be scared, that you're all just like teddy really, warm and cuddly." She held up a rather battered small brown bear, "His name's Zeeke."

I pressed the back of my hand firmly to my lips, shoulders shaking with silent laughter at the looks on their faces.

"Well… yes." Balin, answered kindly. "Exactly like that..." He sounded as unconvinced as Tilda had earlier.

She smiled at them and then turned to me. "Miss Zalia can you tell me a fairy story now."

I grinned down at the little girl and brushed a piece of dark hair from her face, as she snuggled into her blankets with the teddy. "Sure sweetie. Once upon a time there was a young girl and she lived with her wicked step-mother and two ugly step sisters, they called her Cinderella and she had to do all the housework…"

The footsteps let me know the dwarves were leaving as I began my story, after about another thirty minutes the girl was well on her way to the land of nod.

"…And Prince Charming and Cinderella lived happily ever after. The end."

Tilda smiled up at me. "Do you think I'll ever find a Prince Charming?" She asked.

"Sure you will sweetie. I just know it."

Tilda yawned nodding towards the door with her head as she placed a hand over her mouth and snuggled further in. "He's your Prince Charming. I can tell."

I looked round, mortified to see Fili leaning against the door frame, smiling in at us, broad arms crossed over his strong chest. Looking so domesticated it almost made me sigh, bubbling over with love. But Fili would never be domesticated... not _really_ anyway. I'd seen the wild, animalistic side of him before that day in the woods, I knew what dangers lurked there. Plus Kili had told me as much, accident or not.

"Sure is." I muttered, beet red, kissing her softly on the head. "Night night, sleep tight, god bless, see you in the morning. I love you."

A sleepy smile filled her face. "That's what my mummy used to say."

I grinned back brushing a hand lightly across her hair, "Funny, it's what my daddy used to say too." And then I joined Fili at the door, ushering him out as he pushed himself off the door frame with his shoulder and grasped my hand, closing it quietly behind us.

"Is she asleep?" Asked Sigrid as we came out into the main room.

I nodded, "Yeah. She's lovely isn't she?"

She smiled at me, "Absolutely delightful."

We sat down with the rest of the dwarves and Thorin nodded to me, I grinned back. "Thanks," I said. "You all really terrified her."

"And for that we are sorry." Balin announced.

"But now." Cut in Dwalin. "We need to go and raid the armoury."

_Oh joy, I see no way this could possibly go wrong._

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, posting this kinda early I know, but still. <strong>

**Hope you all enjoyed it? You'll notice I gave them more time to get to the mountain than in the movie. That's because I think the travel will take a bit of time and I'm extending their stay in Laketown a bit. **

**Happy reading. **

**And thanks for the follows, favs and reviews! Can't wait to hear what you think of this one!**

**Rue.**


	26. Arguments Abound

It seemed everyone except me was really down with this raiding the armoury idea. I thought it seemed slightly foolish but then, I was also one of the only two people who still had a proper sword. Regardless, I couldn't let them all run off into this madness without me.

"You can't leave." Bain was desperately trying to block the dwarves at the door. He was very brave about it actually.

"Move out of the way boy." Dwalin countered in a hard tone.

"It is not dark enough yet!" Bain argued but it was no use. He might have well have saved his breath.

"I said move!" Dwalin pushed Bain from the door as if he weighed no more than a sack of potatoes.

I gasped and went to help the boy but Bofur grabbed onto my arm and pushed me out of the door, "He is not hurt." He told me, "And we really need to get going."

With a stinging conscience I trailed after the others through the town to the armoury.

We had to hide behind boats from guards on more than one occasion. I grasped Fili's hand tightly. This was just a little close for comfort.

"As soon as we have the weapons we make straight for the mountain." Thorin told us.

I glanced nervously at Kili. His leg was really going to hinder him if we set off without giving him chance to rest.

We eventually came up at the side of the armoury building and Thorin sent Bilbo off scouting. After about a minute, one very tense minute, the hobbit returned.

"It's guarded at all entrances." The company grumbled at this news.

Bombur happened to look up, "Not all entrances." Unfortunately he was right; there was a window on the side of the building. A tight fit for any man to enter and high up, but a dwarf would have less problems getting in.

"It could be guarded inside!" I whispered fretfully. "Throwing yourself through a window with no weapons to meet someone with loads is stupid!"

Nori looked oddly thoughtful and then, "Well we send someone small and sneaky to check it out then."

The dwarves all made a tower from their bodies; it was obvious where this plan was leading.

"No way." Bilbo shook his head. "I'm not going in there alone."

"Master Baggins you are the company burglar, it is your _job_." Thorin gave Bilbo a rather hard look but Bilbo continued shaking his head, arms crossed.

"I am also the _most_ likely to get _stabbed_ if I come across any trouble!" He moaned frustrated.

"I'll go with him." The words slipped out of my mouth before I even realised what I'd said and the dwarves looked at me with shock. Plus a clear 'no' seemed to be written on their features. Especially Fili's.

"You are not going anywhere." Fili held me tightly by the hand, looking quite _pissed off_ that I'd even _suggested _the idea.

"Fili." I fixed him with a stare that clearly said I thought he was being unreasonable. "I'm the smallest and lightest on my feet next to Bilbo, plus we both have weapons." I tried to logically explain my point but he was having absolutely none of it.

"Give me your sword, I'll go."

"Nuh uh! No way! If I'm not going you're not going. Especially when you go banging about and wake whatever guards might be there in the first place. Not happening. It _makes sense_ for me to go with Bilbo." My tone was slightly pleading as I tried in vain to yank my hand from his grasp.

"If you think I'm letting you walk into some unknown danger then you are deathly mistaken." His furious glare was enough to cut off the next retort brewing inside me.

"I think it's a good idea."

_If looks could kill Bilbo Baggins would be six feet under. _

"She is not going. End of story." There was finality to Fili's tone which only made anger bubble up inside me.

"You!" I said finally managing to rip my hand from his grasp. "Are _not_ my keeper."

We stood arms crossed over our chests, glaring daggers at one another both acting as stubborn as a mountain. Neither of us was moving on our point, obviously.

"I completely agree with the lad." Gloin piped up from beside Fili.

"Oh _you_ would!" I shot at him.

Bofur with a look on his face, clearly speaking volumes about how he was signing his own death warrant chimed in. "Well I agree with Zai."

I smiled at him; Fili scowled the most awful scowl I'd ever seen on his face, as if he'd been betrayed at his moment of need.

The others continued picking sides and eventually, Fili stood with: Gloin, Oin, Dwalin, Balin, Dori and Kili. I stood with: Bofur, Bombur, Bifur, Nori, Ori and Bilbo.

Actually now I think about it, not sure how Bifur decided he was on my side or if he just followed his cousins. I like to think he believed in me but then… no one really explained anything to him. So unless he just understood and decided without explaining his decision like the others…

It looked as if Thorin was going to be the deciding vote here. We both snapped our heads to him and, for the first time since I'd known Thorin he faltered. "Well it's not really any of my business…"

Fili cut him off with a scoff. "Of course it is we need weapons for this venture, you are the leader of the venture it's _entirely_ your business."

"But… it's a very difficult decision..." He excuses were getting weaker and I began to think perhaps we were being unfair to the man; he was going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place at some time, but for those places to be Fili and I…well.

"You're a king." I dead-panned. "Difficult decisions are basically your job."

He swallowed thickly, ran a hand across his face and bit his lip looking at us slightly desperately. "Fili is just, he… it's natural for him to protect you. If he had just let you go it would be… well it just wouldn't happen."

I raised my eyebrows at him as Fili smirked, obviously thinking he had won, at least until Thorin spoke again anyway, and then the smirk dropped right off his face.

"But I think considering the circumstances… and that this is Zalia, who is most certainly _not_ a regular woman. She should go."

"Yes!" I fist pumped the air, Bilbo looked so relieved I thought he was going to faint and Bofur clapped me on the back as the dwarves began creating their tower again.

Fili's hand cracked the wall with an almighty punch and he wouldn't even look at me.

_I think the sooner we have this culture difference conversation the better. _

As soon as the tower was complete Bilbo turned to me, "You're going first." His voice shook as he spoke and I realised just how worried about this he was.

"Bloody chicken shit." I muttered as I climbed up the dwarves and entered through the window.

I would love for you to believe I barrel rolled through the window and got back to a crouch in James Bond style awesomeness… but I didn't. I actually fell in face first, caught myself and rolled out of the way just in time for Bilbo to come bounding in.

"What are you doing on the floor?" He asked me with a chuckle.

"I fell."

At my admission he did start chortling before eventually regaining some form of composure and offering me a hand to help me up, still chuckling away.

We looked around the room and found that it was empty of guards, that was good. Bilbo tapped me on the arm and pointed to the stairs. My eyes widened at him.

"You go!" I hissed, "You're the scout. I'm back-up!"

He sighed but eventually began creeping down as slowly as possible, me following right on his heels. As we rounded the corner it was clear to see there were no guards here either. Although, when we peaked outside the door, which took both of us to yank open and force shut, there were guards out there.

I padded quietly but quickly back up the stairs and grabbed the window ledge leaning out I spoke directly to Thorin. "It's clear, but there are guards outside the downstairs room."

Thorin's head popped up next to mine and he pushed me backwards lightly, coming in the window himself. Then the others started appearing, honestly, even Kili with his dodgy leg didn't fall as he bound in.

Bilbo smirked at me and I lightly slapped him on the back of the head. "Say nothing."

When everyone coming in was in they began loading up on weapons. "Kils…" I muttered as he trailed past, the load in his arms getting heavier and heavier.

"I'm fine." He snapped at me.

I frowned, he didn't _look_ fine. In fact he looked pale and sweaty and sick. "Kili…"

"How is it…" He began harshly. "That you can worry about me, me and my physical and mental hardships and not my brothers?!"

Honestly it was like a slap in the face. I'd never really thought about it like that before. I worried for Fili all the time too, but Kili… he meant that I was causing Fili hardship and not even batting an eyelid. That hurt, it hurt to consider and it hurt more knowing it was true.

_Reality checks, courtesy of Kili, get it while it's hot, completely free!_

"I…I…" I stuttered unable to think of anything to say.

Kili glared at me, "Exactly. You've quickly become one of the most important people to him along with myself, my uncle and my mother and you don't even _think_ about how your actions might make him feel."

"I'm not…I don't… I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself." It was hard to justify where I was coming from to someone who I knew didn't understand… not really.

Kili hefted his arms up a bit, moving the load of weapons into a more comfortable position and then, "Perhaps, but if anything happened to you… It would destroy him, especially if he _should_ have been able to protect you. Think about that next time."

And with that Kili marched off towards Thorin to be loaded up with more weapons, while I stood feeling shitty and gob-smacked.

I saw Kili head towards the stairs and I moved forwards but it was too late to do anything about it. I watched as his leg gave way underneath him and he fell, weapons making clattering and banging sounds the whole way. I winced at the shout of the guards.

_I told them this would go wrong._

* * *

><p>I jumped down the stairs two at a time, over all the weapons after Kili. If we got out of this, I swore to myself as I drew my sword that I would apologise to Fili a thousand times over. Right now, I couldn't do anything for him, except try to ensure his brother didn't die.<p>

The guards had swords pointed at all of our necks before we could even blink. I sheathed my weapon quickly and quietly during the confusion, I really didn't want to lose it again.

There's something about having cold, sharp metal pressed against your throat which makes you realise just how vulnerable you are. How breakable. And seeing a sword pressed to Fili's throat as we were dragged outside, well it made me realise exactly where he was coming from earlier.

The guards took hold of us roughly and pulled us through the town right to the Master's front door. Half of the company struggled, I was in the half that didn't. It seemed to me the best plan was to follow Thorin's example and just walk along complacently. Struggling at this point, would get us nowhere.

We were all thrown onto our knees and I saw Kili's face fill with pain as the tremors shot up his bad leg. I stared across our little semi-circle straight into Fili's eyes. The rage, concern and affection that swirled around in them as my knees banged down was immense. If eyes could give off sparks, then sparks would be flying out of his eyes as he glared across at the guard who held my shoulder in a bruising grasp making me wince.

"I'm sorry." I mouthed to him. "So, _so_, sorry."

His face softened a little and he gave me a stiff nod as we waited on baited breath for the Master of Laketown to appear.

_It's not enough, not nearly enough but…_

My thoughts about being able to mouth sorry to Fili were cut off as a huge, fat, man. With long ginger hair and a funny looking moustache that almost imitated that of the French diplomats in the renaissance stepped out. Actually he reminded me of those people you see in old portraits from that time.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He asked a frown marring his features as he strode out pulling on a coat.

"Caught 'em stealing weapons sire." Replied the man who, was obviously, the head of the guard.

"Ah enemies of the state eh?" His ginger goatee bobbed slightly when he talked as he surveyed us through narrowed eyes and I visibly baulked.

This man was English. Or, at least, he sounded English. It had been so long since I heard an accent like mine it was almost unnerving. The dwarves did not miss the resemblance, they all stared over at me wide-eyed and confused before turning their attention back to the man in question.

"A desperate bunch of mercenaries if ever there was sire." Alfred had popped back up and was putting his two cents in still looking as creepy and skeevy as before.

"Hold your tongue." Spat out Dwalin, rising to his feet again and stepping forwards, "You do not know to whom you speak!"

We all forced ourselves up at this, or at least, everyone else did, I didn't have the strength to push myself up, not against the tough man holding me down at least. Bombur it seemed, was offended by my treatment, because he grasped me by the arm and yanked me to my feet, making the soldier let go of me. I smiled gratefully at him. It could have been really awkward to be the only one still on my knees.

"This is no common criminal!" Dwalin continued, beckoning Thorin forward. Thorin obliged. "This is Thorin! Son of Thrain! Son of Thror!"

The Master's eyes seemed to widen at this realisation and he stood silently listening to Thorin as he began to speak.

"We are the dwarves of Erebor." Thorin's strong voice carried, and I was glad of it, it made the soldiers and the crowd back off a little. "We have come to reclaim our homeland."

Whatever the Master and the crowd had been expecting Thorin to say. That was not it.

"I remember this town in the great days of old…" Thorin began.

_Oh I thought, here we go. Quite literally, the kings' speech. _

"…Fleets of boats lay at harbour, filled with silks and fine gems, this was no _forsaken_ town on a lake! This was the _centre _of all trade in the North." His voice rose and he began using his hands to emphasise his point as the townspeople cheered in agreement. "I would see those days return. I would re-light the great forges of the dwarves, SEND WEALTH AND RICHES FLOWING ONCE MORE, FROM THE HALLS OF EREBOR!"

The crowd cheered deafeningly as Thorin turned to look at the Master of Laketown and then suddenly there came a loud cry. "DEATH!" I recognised the voice at once. It was Bard.

"That is what you will bring upon us." He strode through the crowd and through our little semi-circle. He placed a hand on my shoulder at looked down at me imploringly before looking back to Thorin, his voice harsh. "Dragon fire and ruin. If you awaken that beast, it will destroy us all."

"You can listen to this naysayer, but I promise you this," Thorin's voice dropped to a whisper and it made me really believe in him. "If we succeed, all will share in the wealth of the mountain."

The crowd cheered loudly again and Thorin announced in a booming voice, throwing his arms out to the side. "YOU WILL HAVE ENOUGH GOLD, TO REBUILD ESGAROTH TEN TIMES OVER!"

There were more screams and cheers before Bard spun around to face the crowd and yelled urgently, "All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale?"

The murmurs of uncertainty were back now, as if everyone was realising just what _could_ happen if Smaug was awoken.

"Have you forgotten those who _died_ in the fire-storm?!" Bard continued, "And for what _purpose_?! The blind ambition of a mountain king." He turned to Thorin and looked down at him as he spoke, voice filled with disgust. "SO DRIVEN BY GREED, HE COULD NOT SEE BEYOND HIS OWN DESIRE!"

"Now, now!" Cut in the Master of Laketown, shaking and pointing a finger at Bard. "We must not any of us, be too quick to lay blame." Everyone fell silent as he spoke and we looked up at him, waiting to see what he had to say. "Let us not forget that it was Girion, Lord of Dale, YOUR ANCESTOR!..." He screeched at Bard.

_I totally knew it! I knew it was more than a story to that family! _

"…who failed to kill the beast! Hm?!"

_Bit harsh, I'm not sure the Master could kill a dragon. _I thought looking him up and down.

Thorin and the dwarves turned to Bard as if looking for the truth on his face, and actually it was displayed there quite clearly.

"It's true sire." Alfred began speaking again in his nasally voice, "We all know the story! Arrow after arrow he shot. Each one missin' its mark."

The crowd grumbled and bubbled with agreement and I felt quite sorry for Bard, but I didn't really feel bad for deceiving him any longer. He'd done the exact same to us! Bard took a few quiet steps up to Thorin and looked down at him, "You have no right…" he said in a whisper, "no right to enter that mountain!"

Thorin looked up at him with hard eyes and replied, also in a whisper, "I have the only right."

He then swung round and looked up at the Master, who it appeared was considering Thorin carefully. "I speak to the Master of the men of the lake," His voice had risen once more. "Will you see the prophecy fulfilled?" He began walking up the steps and Bard followed close behind. "Will you share, in the great wealth of our people?"

The people of Laketown watched the Master carefully as they waited for his reply to Thorin, it was clear what they thought it should be.

"What say you?!" Demanded Thorin.

The Master's eyes flicked down from the sky to Thorin and he replied, "I say unto you…WELCOME!" And he threw his arms out wide. "Welcome! King Under The Mountain!"

There was a lot of cheering taking place as Thorin turned on the stairs looking every bit king under the mountain, standing regally in front of the crowd. The dwarves moved forwards and I went to move with them until Bard caught me on the arm.

Bending down to my level he said, "You cannot let them do this!"

I sighed at him. "I can't stop them, and I don't think I'd want to…" I paused. "They deserve a home Bard, _their_ home."

He grimaced at me, "If you are still here, come to my house. The day after next, we must speak."

I frowned and began shaking my head, "I don't think that…"

"Please."

The imploring look in his eyes had me nodding against all of my better judgement. "Okay. Alright. The day after next."

* * *

><p>The Master provided us with a big house, rooms for all of us. Or at least, for each mini family. Thorin had his own room though, as did Bilbo and I.<p>

"We leave at first light." Announced Thorin that night as we sat by a warm fire still at the table after having a great meal Bombur had cooked. "I will inform the Master in the morning."

Kili stood shakily to his feet. "Then we must all get ready."

"Not you." Thorin said shocking all of us into silence. "We must travel at speed you will slow us down."

"What are you talking about? I'm coming with you." Kili replied with a little laugh.

_I don't think Thorin's joking. _

"No you're not." Thorin shook his head and Fili's eyes widened as he looked over at them, standing up from his spot a little way down the table.

"I'm going to be there when that door is opened." Kili looked as if someone had kicked his puppy; tears welled up in his eyes, "When we first look upon the halls of our fathers! Thorin…"

"Kili…" Thorin took Kili by the shoulder. "Stay here, rest, join us when you're healed." He ran a hand over the back of Kili's head through his hair and Kili looked as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Well then!" Oin proclaimed, obviously having heard the conversation for once. "I'll stay with the lad. My duty lies with the wounded."

"Uncle!" Fili addressed Thorin in a serious yet pleading tone, "We grew up on tales of the mountain! Tales you told us! You cannot take that away from him!"

"Fili" Called Kili as Oin fussed around him now, looking at just how badly he was fairing, but Fili paid him no mind.

"I will _carry_ him if I must!" He finished, staring a Thorin chest heaving.

Thorin fixed him with a stare and replied. "One day you will be king, and then you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf, not even my own kin."

Fili looked disbelievingly at his uncle before replying. "Well then, Mimur and I stay too."

Bilbo's eyes snapped to me when I didn't say anything. As Thorin turned to Fili, "Fili! Don't be a fool! You belong with the company."

Fili stared straight back into Thorin's eyes. "I belong with my brother."

He moved over to stand near Kili as well and Thorin gave me a pleading look. "Hell no, not my problem!" I announced holding my hands up.

"But that doesn't mean you have to stay too!" Bilbo chimed in looking and sounding slightly hysterical.

"I go where he goes." I pointed at Fili. "If he stays I stay."

Bilbo jumped up from the bench at the table as I stood to move over to Fili and ran round grasping me by the arms, "You can't leave me! You can't!"

"Bilbo." I sighed.

"NO!" His voice shocked everyone into silence. Bilbo, _never_ shouted. "When we were in Bag End you told me you didn't want me to do anything I'd regret! You _begged _me not to leave you! And now…." His voice fell to almost a whisper. "Now I'm begging you, you can't abandon me Zai, not when we're this close. You can't!"

"DAMN IT BILBO!" I slammed my fist on the table creating a large crash, "Do you realise what you're asking? _Do you?!_" I breathed heavily for a few seconds, trying to get my emotions under control. "Do you realise what it would do to me if I left and something happened to him?! I can't… I _won't_. I don't want to abandon anyone." I fixed Bilbo with a hard, honest, stare. "I've already made that mistake once tonight. I _do not_ intend on making it again."

The finality displayed in my tone and on my face must have somehow got through to him, because Bilbo straightened and turned to stare at Thorin. "Well, that settles it then. If she stays, I stay. I can't do this on my own."

Thorin growled, "Bilbo Baggins you are _the_ burglar! We cannot continue without you!"

Bilbo, with a courage that surprised me stared straight back at Thorin, "I'm sorry."

Thorin breathing heavily stood for a few seconds, apparently unsure of what to do, before finally reaching a decision. "Fine. We stay, for one week, if Kili is not healed by then…" He trailed of slightly. "We _cannot_ afford to stay any longer."

* * *

><p><strong>So kind of just setting up for the stay in Laketown, but it does give some depth to Zai and Fili's relationship. As well as Zai and Bilbo's and Zai and Kili's oh and Kili and Fili's. <strong>

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed it! **

**Let me know what you think!**

**Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and follows. **

**Rue**


	27. Cultural Clashes

The next day worries about where I stood with Fili were pushed completely to the back of my mind. It was obvious to everyone that Kili was getting worse and Oin had thirteen dwarves and one hobbit running rampant looking for herbs to help heal him. I knew arrow wounds were meant to be bad but according to Oin Kili's wound was infected, or poisoned. Neither of which boded well. What was I doing while everyone was running around looking for herbs? I was shopping.

_Stupid sexist dwarves._

Don't get me wrong I totally understand why someone had to go out and buy food. I don't really understand where they got the money from, but I do understand why someone had to buy food. What I don't agree with is the general consensus it should be me because I am a woman. Everyone else is hurrying around trying to save Kili's life and Bombur has given me a shopping list. It did briefly occur to me when I saw the size of the list that there was no way I was going to be able to get this stuff all back to the house alone but no-one seemed to give a damn. I could understand that too.

I struggled back to the house with half of the shopping, deciding it would be a good idea to make two trips, and then predictably, things went terribly wrong. At that point shopping flew out of the window as well.

"MISS ZALIA!" My head snapped to the sound of the noise to see Bard's little girl Tilda pointing just over my right shoulder, I swung round and there, running straight at me, were four orcs.

I dropped the shopping; I'm pretty sure the eggs smashed and the fruit rolled into the river but seriously, fuck the shopping. Drawing my blade I shouted over my shoulder to the little girl, "Tilda! RUN!"

She didn't need telling twice, just as the first orc reached me and I smashed my sword up to meet his making a great clashing sound, she shot off like a bullet.

_This is getting so fucking old!_

I dodged out of the way of the second orcs sword and probably would have got hit by the third one if an arrow hadn't lodged itself right in its head.

"Midget!"

I beamed as I turned to meet the first orcs sword and heard the scrape of weapon against weapon from behind me.

"Blondie!" I called back. "We have to stop meeting like this!"

Letting out a loud laugh the elf dispatched his second orc as I dispatched my first.

"LEGOLAS!" The she-elf, it seemed, was also joining the party.

Legolas ducked his hair fanning out behind him like an albino peacocks tail as the she-elf's arrow whizzed over his head, successfully hitting the fourth orc in the chest.

_Crisis averted._

I watched the she-elf as she strode over to us looking so feminine and dangerous all at once must take some serious skills.

"I am Tauriel." She informed me, her voice holding a lilting quality as she inclined her head.

"Zalia Lucas."

We didn't say anything for a few moments and then… "Yanno Tauriel. That was totally badass. Seriously fucking awesome! You need to teach me how to look like that fighting; pretty sure I look like I'm having a seizure."

She smiled at me. "Seizure is an odd word for grace."

I grinned back as Legolas stood awkwardly watching the exchange when a crash to rival thunder came from the direction of the house.

"The others!" I shouted, scampering away from the elves.

"Your shopping!" Legolas exclaimed following me.

"FUCK THE DAMN SHOPPING!" The loud musical laugh, almost like birdsong that burst from Tauriel at this comment made me feel quite good about myself.

When we reached the house the dwarves were duking it out with the orcs. Fili was protecting Kili with the ferocity of a wild tiger but as he lent to stab one orc he left his side completely open for another. I swung my sword in the way just in time.

A look of mild shock raced across his face as he glanced to see who was protecting him. "We need to have a serious conversation about the positions you put your life in!" I winked cheekily as I cut through the orcs throat.

"Very funny!" He replied sarcastically, stabbing another in the chest.

I ducked a sword quite comically as if I was doing the limbo, as Fili shot me a glare. "Who said…" I panted as I slashed my sword through the orcs stomach. "I was being funny?"

Leaving Fili to protect his brother I dived back into the fray. Tauriel and I somehow ended up fighting back to back.

"If I get stabbed it's totally on you!" I yelled cutting an orc right down the chest.

"You won't!" And with that she grabbed onto a beam, and ran round the wall, yes _round the wall_ to kick another orc in the head.

"That was awesome! That was so fricken' awesome!"

When we had dispatched all of the orcs that weren't high-tailing it out of here with Blondie on their trail, Tauriel remained.

"Ain't cha gonna…" I indicated to where Legolas had absconded through the window.

She walked over to Kili smiling at me, "I have work to do here first."

Following with raised eyebrows I muttered, "Okey-dokey then."

Thorin, was not greatly happy with the thought of an elf healing Kili. Well to be honest I'm pretty sure it was this elf in particular he objected too, but beggars can't be choosers, as I rightly informed him. The scalding look I received in return was one of the most affective 'shut ups' ever.

"Atheros." Tauriel whispered taking a load of herbs from Bofur's hand. Or at least that's what it sounded like to me.

"What are you doing?" Bofur looked mildly confused and totally panicked by the elf taking the herbs.

"I'm going to save him."

"You will not-" I shoved my hand over Thorin's mouth affectively shutting him up.

_We don't need any racism here that results in Kili's death!_

"Please." I nodded towards Kili, smiling at the elf. "Continue."

Kili was flailing around screaming like a man possessed so much that Thorin forgot he was irritated with me and used his anger to go and help Fili, Bofur and Oin hold Kili down on the top of the table. Tauriel began muttering in elvish and then screaming in it as she forced the herbs into Kili's wound.

"Oh my fuckin' Christ." I put my hands over my face. "I changed my mind, if I could bring one thing to Middle-Earth from my world, screw the car I want modern medicine."

Kili's screaming stopped and he stared at Tauriel, a really wide-eyed stare like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. When he starting talking shit though, I decided to take my leave.

"That's it he's delirious and I am _out_." I spun on my heel.

Bilbo grabbed my arm as I strode towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Bilbo mate I see any more of this then your only option if I ever get injured is going to be to let me die." Frowning but nodding Bilbo let me leave.

* * *

><p>"How is he?" I asked later as Fili walked into the sitting room and collapsed on the couch beside me.<p>

"Better." A weight seemed to have lifted from him as he swung himself around and laid his head in my lap." He's doing better."

I licked my lips thoughtfully as I stroked Fili's silky hair with the palm of my hand. "That's… good. That's really good."

We sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes as I absent-mindedly continued caressing Fili's hair.

Catching me off guard completely Fili sprang up and crashed his lips to mine with such force that I let out an 'eep' completely astonished as he swung me underneath him and covered my body with his.

_Honestly how is that even physically possible?_

For a few seconds my response was automatic as I lay there in my confusion but then my brain caught up with my body and I fisted my hands in his hair, eyes closing, kissing him back with as much vigour and passion as I possibly could. Our tongues danced rather than battled for once and I was surprised neither of us broke with the force we were handling each other. I let out a delighted gasp as Fili nipped at my bottom lip and then a deep throaty moan as his hands trailed up my sides and over my breasts eventually trailing back down again and splaying on my abdomen. His beads banging lightly, leaving cool patches all over my heated skin, Fili growled as he began nibbling and sucking at my neck. I grasped his bulging arm muscles tightly and let out another low groan as his teeth grazed a spot that seemed to send tremors right through me.

"You need to stop making noises like that Mimur." His hot breath gusted across my neck and caused me to give of a delighted little mewl. This just prompted another growl from Fili.

"W-Why?" I stuttered, running my hands up his chest and whimpering at the thin material keeping me from really touching him.

"Because." He replied in a low throaty tone as he propped himself up above me, swinging himself round completely parallel.

"I don't- _oh_!" It was suddenly immensely clear what Fili meant as his lower body pressed against mine.

I could feel a large, _huge_, throbbing shape pressed against my thigh as I gaped up at him.

He snarled a slight warning sound, "And you need to stop making faces like that! _Mahal, _what am I going to do with you?"

I had a moment where I seriously considered answering before I decided against it and went with. "Is that a swear word? Did you just swear at me?"

Fili chuckled, still trying to regain control over his breathing as I was mine and gently brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "No, no I… well sort of. It means maker… so I guess I… cursed…about you... because of you... something like that?"

I grinned, chest still moving up and down rapidly. "Well Mr Dwarf I didn't know I could bring you to that level of uncivilised behaviour."

He smirked back. "Miss Lucas you could bring me to all sorts of levels of uncivilised behaviour." The suggestive, rumbling voice made me blush a deeper red than I thought possible.

Fili ran one rough finger over my cheek, "You're beautiful and completely infuriating and I love you."

I cupped his face with my hand, "Well that's good, because you're handsome and equally as infuriating and I love you too."

We gazed at each other, as if we were the only two people in the world, the only thing that existed. Nothing was real except Fili and I.

"Guys… Oh sweet, oh no!" Bofur's voice made our heads snap to the door where he stood, hands covering his eyes, red as a ripe tomato.

"Bofur, nothing's going on you know." I've decided I didn't lie, because nothing was going on at that particular moment. He'd already killed it.

Lowering his hands slowly he finally said. "Well, Kili's awake. Just thought you might like to know."

* * *

><p>Once she had satisfied herself that Kili would be fine Tauriel left much to my disappointment. I found that despite the fact she had helped lock us up in Mirkwood I rather liked the elf. She was pretty bad-ass and she now had to spend her time catching up with Legolas because she'd stayed to help Kili, which made her a-okay in my book.<p>

Dwalin and Fili gently lifted Kili onto one of the sofas in the living room where we all sat calming down from the day's events. Fili was in an armchair and I leaned against his legs eyes closed with contentment as he tenderly played with my hair.

"Well. I suppose you better start getting the dinner ready Bombur." Thorin said as we all lounged around.

"Certainly, a hearty meal would do us all good, especially now the cupboards are stocked. Where did you put the food Zai?"

My eyes flew open and I stared at the company like a deer caught in the headlights. "Oh shit. The food."

Bofur let out a loud booming laugh as Dwalin frowned at me. "What happened lassie?"

"Well I totally had this shopping shizz under control yeah, even though Bombur's list was so huge I was gonna have to make two trips, and then the orcs and the elves and I… well I just kinda left it on the street and never went back for it or to continue shopping." I scratched my head slightly in embarrassment. "My bad?" My tone was guilty and questioning all at once.

"It matters not." Thorin announced as if daring the dwarves to argue. "Bombur make what you can from what we have and we will get more food in the morning."

Bombur nodded and plodded out of the room with a sigh as I bit my lip feeling completely useless. Mind you, shopping was the last thing on my mind. I like to think I would have gone back for it if Fili hadn't distracted me, but that is just really a total lie. I wouldn't have remembered at all.

"So… How old do you think you are in dwarven years lass?" Balin asked me quizzically.

I shrugged, "Never really thought 'bout it."

"We should work it out!" Ori, bless his little heart, was practically bouncing with excitement.

Balin, obviously finding this as endearing as I did, went to retrieve a quill, ink and parchment to do the necessary calculations.

"How old are you in your years?"

"Twenty… twenty one… I don't know… how long have I been here?"

_How odd, I don't even know how old I am._

"I would say roughly twelve months." Balin smiled at me kindly.

"Twenty one then." I yawned, missing my birthday not actually bothering me that much. "If I've been here a year, definitely twenty one."

"You've only been here twelve months lass." Gloin put in.

"Yeah, that's what I said a year."

Dori smiled sympathetically at me. "A dwarven year is thirteen months."

"Oh… well then, a year in my world."

Balin chuckled as he wrote this all down, "And when were you born?"

"The 2nd of February." Blank stares. "You have no idea when that is do you?"

They all shook their heads.

"Okay, seven days in our week, twelve months in our year. From beginning to end we have January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December. Three hundred and sixty five days in a year. Three hundred and sixty six days in a leap year which is when February has an extra day because our days are twenty four and something hours long. A leap year is every four years."

Balin nodded at me scribbling this all down, I didn't think I was making much sense but I must have been. "And were you born on a leap year?"

"Erm…" I tried to work it out. "No. No nineteen ninety two and six would have been the leap years, I was born in nineteen ninety four."

"And how many days in each of these months?"

I clicked my tongue. "Thirty days hath September, April, June and November all the rest have thirty one except February which has twenty eight and twenty nine in a leap year… man I butchered that rhyme."

Fili tugged playfully on my hair as Balin scribbled.

"Right and how long were you wombed?"

"How long was I what?"

The dwarves all began laughing between themselves, "He means how long did your mother carry you for." Thorin attempted to clarify.

I sat puzzled for a few more seconds before it hit me. "_OH!_ How long was she pregnant?!"

Balin nodded.

"Well why didn't you just say that? … Nine months."

Dori actually spat out his tea. I've never seen that dwarf waste tea before but he actually sprayed it out all across the room.

"What did I say?" I asked.

"Only nine months?" Asked Ori looking over at me with startled eyes.

"Well yeah… how long were you _wombed_ for or whatever?"

"Four years."

I quite literally fell over. I now know it's possible to fall over sitting down because I did. I just slipped to the side and luckily enough Fili was smart enough to let go of my hair. I smacked to the floor with an 'oof' before propelling myself up back into a sitting position and leaning forwards.

"Four years?!" I asked. "Seriously?!"

They all nodded. "Your poor mothers."

"I do not think they are affected in the same way as humans."

"So if Fili and I ever…"

Surprisingly it was Oin who answered; he must have been riveted to pick up the conversation. "I believe the time will most likely be halved, unless of course your body reacts as it has been with healing, like a dwarves would if not just a little slower and then it may be almost full term, three and a half years perhaps."

"Well thank god for small mercies." I moaned flopping back against Fili's legs again as he immediately started playing with my hair once more. "Two fuckin' years... or three and a bloody half! Nine months sounded awful enough!"

The dwarves and Bilbo all laughed at my agonising realisation as Balin suddenly announced "AHAHA!"

We all turned to look at him, waiting for the verdict.

_Oh my days, what if I'm a child and then Fili's like, banned from me or something._

"It would seem you are the same age as Kili my dear." Balin smiled kindly at me.

"And you're like what seventy seven or something?" I turned to Kili for confirmation, he nodded at me, and I was pleased to note there was already colour returning to his cheeks.

"High five Zai!" We slapped hands.

_I get to be seventy seven and only live out twenty of them, totally not cool._

* * *

><p>After a very filling dinner courtesy of Bombur, we took up our positions in the main room again. Bofur and Dwalin promised some musical entertainment later in the night but they claimed to be too full to move for a while.<p>

_That's the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard. They were all fine bouncing around after emptying Bilbo's pantry._

From the harsh look on Bilbo's face, it seemed he recalled this fact as well as I did.

"How does courting work in your world?" Kili asked conversationally.

I frowned. "I dunno, you spend time together."

Fili looked down at me quizzically his hands pausing in my hair as they did. "That's it?"

"Well… I mean you go out and do stuff, and like… buy each other presents on holidays or birthdays. And I mean," I coughed awkwardly. "A lot of people who are dating totally shag but like… that's about it."

"And there is no commitment?" Bombur asked, seemingly unable to get his head around this.

"Well, not really, not in the way you guys think of it. Like there was this couple in my school that were always on and off, most of the time because one of them was banging somebody else while they were together. It's not like everyone who dates gets married or anything like with you guys." I shrugged. "They might I 'spose if she gets pregnant but not often. And anyways that's their own silly fault for not using protection…"

"Protection?" Thorin asked.

_I really felt like doing the awkward turtle. I am literally giving sex ed to a bunch of dwarves and a hobbit_.

"Well…" I coughed awkwardly. "Yeah we have like these little plastic things, which is this really thin material, that slip over a guys…" I indicated by waving my hand at Bofur's man region. "And then there's like stuff inside to kill the sperm… because it's when that connects with the egg inside a woman that it makes a baby, and then like… also it catches the stuff. Plus girls can take a pill thing which has stuff in to trick the body into thinking it's already pregnant so you don't like… get pregnant." I finished on a really awkward note and grimaced at the looks on their faces.

"What if they do get pregnant though?" Asked Ori.

"Well either the guy man's up and stays around and looks after the kid whether he's with the mother or not… or he doesn't and leaves her to deal with it on her own. Or like they get an abortion which is when you kill the baby in the womb… or like… you put it up for adoption so someone else gets it that can either look after it better or wants it if the parents don't."

They all just flat stared at me. "You come from an awful world Miss Zalia." Dori said looking flat out disgusted.

Bilbo coughed lightly. "Well how does it work for dwarves?"

_Thank god for Bilbo Baggins. _

"Well generally once one has started courting they will exchange hand-made gifts." Dwalin answered, looking more comfortable now.

I flopped my head back onto Fili's knees and covered my face with my hands. "Damn it all to hell I can't hand make anything!"

He chuckled at me. "I'm sure anything you make will be lovely Mimur." He stroked the scar on that ran up the right side of my face as I moved my hands out of the way.

"If it's not do me a massive solid."

He looked quizzically at me.

"Favour, do me a massive favour."

Nodding in understanding now he smiled. "What's that?"

"Lie to me. I'm not kidding, lie through your teeth."

Leaning over and brushing his lips against my forehead he mumbled. "I won't have to lie Mimur."

"What else?" Bilbo piped up.

"Well dwarven men make a house for their married life. Prepare their halls, and the women do not see the halls until they are finished. The man often gives a lot of gold and gems to the woman's family, not to buy her but to make up for taking her away, the more he gives, the more he thinks of his wife to be." Gloin explained.

"The man also gives the woman a large sum of money for her own when they are betrothed." Balin put in. "And woman dwarves rarely leave their halls because male dwarves protect them fiercely."

I raised my eyebrows and scoffed looking up at Fili. "That's utter bullshit, I am totally vetoing that one."

"Vetoing?"

"It ain't happening."

The company chuckled at Fili's sigh, but he did eventually nod in acceptance. "Then you are going to have to be more open to my protection outside."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Fine. I don't like it but fine. You have to accept my independent nature and the likelihood of me jumping into dangerous situations when you're about though."

Fili looked like it physically pained him to nod but he did nod.

"Basically then it all moves onto marriage traditions like-"

"Nuh uh!" I cut Bofur off as I stood up, "I told you, it's not happening like that. Woman might make all the moves in your world matey but not in mine." I leaned down to Fili and gave him a short sweet peck on the lips. "I'm going to bed. Night buds."

And with a wave I sprang up the stairs, really looking forward to a good night's sleep in that comfy bed again. Even if I did have to somehow sneak off and see Bard tomorrow.

_Stupid agreeing to stupid plans and secret meetings and whatnot._

* * *

><p><strong>Well hope you liked it! <strong>

**I totally made up some of the stuff about working out how old she is and what not, and I kinda meshed the other stuff from internet research. **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews! **

**Rue**


	28. Confusing Conversations

Yawning widely with my hand slapped over my mouth, my hair as messy as a bird's nest and my eyes filled with sleep I padded softly into the kitchen for breakfast the next morning. It didn't seem like anyone else was as sleepy as I was, in fact, they all looked bright eyed and bushy tailed which was just plain irritating.

"Morning Zai!" Kili's cheerful voice drew attention to my entry that I really could have done without given the state of me.

The dwarves little grins were enough to let me know I looked as bad as I thought I did.

_Bloody morning people._

"Mornin' Kils." I yawned deeply again as I slid into a spot between him and Fili. "You look better."

He grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat. "I feel it."

Conversation apparently over, Kili began shovelling food into his mouth as I assumed he'd been doing before I had made my, (oh so gorgeous), presence known. I rubbed a hand across my face, making an effort to try and wake myself up and failing miserably.

"Urgh." Letting my head flop onto Fili's shoulder I groaned, "I hate mornings."

Lifting his arm and tucking me into his side, Fili placed a light kiss on the top of my head and smiled sweetly down at me.

"What do you want to eat? Breakfast will make you feel better!" Bombur announced from the end of the table.

Now, if I'm honest, Bombur is the type of person that thinks food makes anything better but I could totally see where he was coming from with this one. A good dose of energy was just what I needed.

"Anything. Any sort of food would be totally awesome."

My eyes fluttered closed as I heard Bombur humming to himself while he cooked. I tried to comb my fingers through my tangled hair but found it was nearly impossible with all the knots.

Wincing as I got my hand stuck on a particularly nasty one, I felt someone grip my wrist. "Just leave it Mimur."

I considered Fili for a second, how he constantly looked so put together amazed me. "Alright for you to say, you didn't have to see me in the mirror when you woke up and _you_ always look great anyway. I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards."

Ori frowned at us from across the table. "You look like what? Why would you know what you looked like then?"

I shook my head at him a small smile playing around my lips. "It's just an expression Ori."

His forehead creased in a frown. "What an odd expression."

A rough hand cupped my cheek and my gaze drifted to meet Fili's as he lightly trailed a thumb over my jaw. "I can't imagine awaking to anything better. You're always beautiful to me Mimur."

"I take it they don't have opticians in Middle-Earth then because I look dreadful."

His lips quirked at my reply. "You are deluded woman." His hand shot out making me flinch because I didn't expect it. When I did look down, I saw he had blocked my plate from skidding off the end of the table. "Breakfast is served Milady."

I lazily rolled my eyes. "Milady." I snorted, sitting up straighter and beginning to dig in. "Who even says shit like that?"

* * *

><p>Anyone, in my opinion, who hasn't had one of Bombur's breakfasts, is missing out. It's got to be true what they say, the whole 'never trust a thin chef' thing, because not only did Bombur like food but he could bloody cook a breakfast better than anyone in the history of…everything! (With the proper ingredients).<p>

"Bombur my man that was banging!" I proclaimed, filled with energy after a nice hot breakfast. Bombur studied me quizzically for a few seconds, "You don't know what that means do you?" I asked a little let down that my peculiar ways of speaking still affected the dwarves.

He shook his head apologetically and I sighed, oddly downcast. "It's cool man. It means that was really great, thanks." I gave him a weak smile.

_It's quite disheartening really, that they still don't understand me sometimes. _

"Well…" Thorin's voice rolled across the table like thunder, he always sounded so loud and in control. "In the spirit of your speaking fashions I was wondering if you could do us all a 'solid' today Zalia?"

Honestly, after hearing the term 'do us a solid' leave Thorin's mouth, with the use of my air quotes and everything, I was hardly going to say no.

"Sure, what did you need?"

_Anything but shopping… It's probably shopping. _

"Fili and I will be going to meet with the Master of Laketown after a stroll around the market for supplies, so somebody needs to do the shopping."

_I knew that was coming._

"Totally, no problem. What are the rest of you up to?" I asked, wondering why it always seemed to be me doing these 'womanly' tasks.

"We need to put our packs together, train, the usual." Dwalin replied.

"And the lad and I will be staying in." Oin added, "I do not want to upset the healing process when time is of such importance."

I nibbled at my thumbnail as I thought it all through. "I'll come with you lassie."

_I can always count on Bofur._

"Thanks mate. Company would be awesome."

* * *

><p>I tugged at my hair in the mirror, I'd told Bofur, Thorin and Fili I'd only be a few minutes but getting the knots out was proving harder than I thought it would, even with a brush.<p>

_That's what you get for neglecting it for so long._

"Shut up." I muttered to myself or, more specifically, that annoying voice in my head as I tried to drag the brush through my hair. "Just go through already!"

A chuckle from the doorway stopped my mild complaining and I turned to see Fili stood, arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe.

"You know you have to stop popping up like that. It's very unnerving." I told him, tugging once more at my hair and letting out a little whimper when it wouldn't brush out.

Strolling up behind me, a little satisfied strut to his step, Fili took the brush out of my hand. "What are you-"

"Be quiet Mimur." He murmured cutting me off, gently taking hold of a section of hair and combing out the knots, "Let me help you."

"I can do it myself you know."

He smirked at me, "Looked like it." I scowled. "No honestly, I know you can, I want to help. I enjoy caring for you."

Rolling my eyes I retorted, "Don't get used to it buddy." Before allowing him to get on with it. I am dismayed to admit he had my hair feeling like silk in about two minutes flat.

"How did you do that?" I asked as we trudged down the stairs.

"I have magic hands." And with a cheeky wink he hopped down the last few steps to land next to Thorin.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, when Thorin mentioned strolling around the market, Bofur and I were not invited. In fact we were sent the complete opposite way.<p>

"What the hell man?" I demanded when Fili and Thorin had left. "What's so secret that we're not allowed to see what they're buying?!"

Bofur snickered, "Did it ever occur to you that perhaps Fili wants to buy the materials to make your first courting present?"

"Well… no. No it did not." I pondered on this for a few seconds, "Does that mean I should buy the materials to make his?"

Twirling the side of his moustache in his hand Bofur nodded, "I would say so."

I frowned. "What do I make him?"

Shaking his head slightly at my ridiculous lack of knowledge Bofur replied, "Let's get the shopping first, we can come back and worry about that later."

It was with this in mind that we ambled around the market in the afternoon. We'd done the shopping and it had taken two trips _between us_ to get everything on Bombur's list so I was, in a way, quite glad of the orcs appearance the day before. Lugging all that back on my own would have taken forever.

After walking round roughly six times I was getting a bit desperate for inspiration. "Remind me again why you're not helping?" I asked Bofur as we turned the corner.

"Because it has to be a gift from the heart, you have to do it yourself. If I helped it would be meaningless."

"So basically, because if you help I'm cheating?"

Bofur nodded and I huffed crossing my arms over my chest.

_Well that's fucking stupid! How am I meant to… OH! _

A tiny stall that I'd not really taken an interest in before suddenly caught my attention. It had all different kinds of leather and sewing equipment on, and the leather looked _beautiful_. A light tan coloured brown which would suit Fili's complexion perfectly without looking too hard or harsh. I wandered over leaving Bofur admiring different woods and knives.

_What could I make with leather?_

"Anything in particular dear?" The little old lady running the stall made me jump.

My hand crashed to my chest with a 'Christ almighty' as I attempted to calm my breathing. She smiled at me, grey curly hair surrounding a round face with sparkling green eyes. I grinned back, oddly she reminded me of Mrs Weasley.

"I…I'm just looking." I stuttered as I ran my eyes over the leathers on the table.

She shook her head, curls seeming to caress her face as she chuckled. "You need this one."

Taking me completely off guard she handed me the large piece of tan leather I'd just been admiring, then she stopped surveying me, face set. I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Well how much-"

"And these." This time she dropped a few sewing needles into my hand and a large spool of thick dark brown thread, along with a few clasps. "This." She added plier like tools, "And finally this." She handed me a large knife. It was very handsome, the blade looked spectacular and the handle was firm and sturdy, metal with a little wooden plaque on the front and back.

"I … How much?"

Shaking her head the woman picked up a small pug dog from behind the stall and I realised this must be the Mrs Willows Bard had told me about.

"Nothing."

I gaped. My mouth fell open and I just gaped. "But… this must be worth a fortune."

"And I'm sure the person the gifts are for is worth a fortune more…" Smiling and showing a set of yellowing teeth she continued. "Save your money, enough hard work will go into these raw materials as it is."

How she knew I was going to make gifts with them I don't know. Mysterious old biddy. I tried to give her the stuff back, I really did, but I quickly found out that an old woman with a leather stall and a tiny pug dog can be just as terrifying as a crazy old cat lady.

"Bofur, I'm ready to go back now." I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned, his arms about as full as mine, looking decidedly woeful. "You alright mate?"

"I think I spent all me money lassie."

A laugh spilled from my mouth, high and free, almost childlike as we rambled back to the house with our spoils. When we got in I headed straight up the stairs and dumped my shopping on my bed before skipping back down. For my idea to work, I was going to need to find Ori.

"Zai."

"Yeah Kils hi, hi…" I waved him off, barely paying him any attention at all before turning back with a frown. "Do you know where Ori is?"

"What do you need Ori for?" Kili asked looking almost offended as he lounged on the sofa.

"None of your beeswax, where is he?"

"I think he's out there." Kili gestured his hand in the direction of the door to the kitchen with a slight huff.

I bounced over and pecked his cheek making him turn quite red as his eyes went as wide as saucers. "Thanks Kili!" And with a beaming smile I continued into the kitchen.

It seemed this whole idea about making up packs and training and what not that they had talked about this morning was a lie, because every single one of them was sat doing nothing. However I was in much two good spirits to be bothered by that now.

"ORI!" I practically jumped the poor dwarf.

"Zai?" He sounded a little frightened and a bit uncertain.

I plonked myself down in his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck fluttering my eyelashes as I looked up at him. "You couldn't do me a total solid could you?"

Gulping he flicked his eyes along the table before back to me. "Well that depends… what do you want?"

"Come on!" I grabbed his hand and yanked him up, dragging him out of the room I said. "I'll show you!"

* * *

><p><em>Ori you total legend, it's perfect!<em>

Squealing with delight I hid the two presents I had made for Fili under my blankets, they had turned out better than I could have hoped. It was hard for me not to just run down and show everyone what I'd accomplished but I didn't want anyone to see, they were for Fili so Fili, in my mind, should be the first to see them.

It was dark by the time I'd finished and I suddenly remembered my promise to go and see Bard, I was just about to open the door when I remembered Kili's little reality check about how my actions would affect Fili. Turning from the door, I decided to find Fili and ask him if it was okay to go.

"Anyone know where Fili is?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"He and Thorin are still out." Gloin answered.

I frowned, "Okay…" _Well if I can't ask Fili, next best option, I'll ask Kili._ "Well I'll just go talk to Kili then-"

"You will not! On pain of death does anyone disturb that lads rest this week!" Oin's outburst made me tumble backwards into the wall.

_I wasn't expecting that._

Deciding it was best just to blow Bard off, not wanting to risk another argument or embarrass myself by asking the whole company what to do I left the room. As I flopped down into an armchair I noticed Bofur, all hunched over by the fire, whittling.

"Hey Bof." I called, he didn't even really flinch in his actions.

"Yes Zai?"

"Is it alright for me to go and visit Bard? Like… is that acceptable?"

"Mhmm, it's good Zai."

_Really? Well who wouldda thunk it! _

"Can I go on my own?"

"Sure, sure."

"And do I have a time I should be back? Not that I plan on anything inappropriate happening but yanno, just so I know."

"Nah, do what you like."

"Alright thanks!"

Rather pleased I didn't have to upset Bard when he'd been so kind and helpful towards us… me mostly but still, I wrapped my cloak around myself and set off from the door whistling a merry tune.

* * *

><p>Bofur was nearly where he wanted to be with this little figure he just had to…. Aha! He'd got it, the eye detailing was now precisely right. Leaning back in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face, the little figure resting lightly in his hand, he was feeling quite pleased with himself. Now <em>finally<em> it was ready to give to Zai, even though he'd promised her it all that time ago. In all the excitement he just hadn't had time to finish it.

Stretching and popping his back, he decided to get up and find her right this minute. She'd been a good friend to him and he her, but he thought it would be nice for her to have a token from this world from the dwarves, something that wasn't practical at all, just trivial… just because.

It wasn't until he was about to climb the first stair that it occurred to Bofur that Zai wasn't in. She'd asked him something… something about going out and if she had to be back on time, if she had some sort of curfew. How ridiculous of course she didn't, why would she ask such a thing? He scratched his head.

It took a second more of pondering. "Oh no." Bofur muttered, letting his head fall into his hands. "What have I done?"

* * *

><p>I found I could navigate my way back to Bards house a hell of a lot easier than I could navigate my way around Rivendell.<p>

_Looks like I'm still hard-wired to human structures._

It seemed as if it took no time at all for me to get there. I took the stairs slowly and carefully considering they were those sorts that have holes in between.

_Man I would have taken these two at a time before. _

With a shake of the head in slight frustration I knocked on the door. Bard opened it instantly.

"You're late."

_How very rude. _

"I am not late, you are merely early. Anyway," I said stepping around him and into the house. "You never specified a time. Just the day after next."

He grinned at me. "You do sound an awful lot like my wife sometimes, it is a wonder you are not human." Shutting the door he gestured over to the table.

"Yeah, yeah." I replied. "All down to experience really." Taking a seat I crossed my arms and fixed him with a stare. "So what's this about?"

"They must not awaken that Dragon."

_You don't say._

"Believe it or not, we don't intend to wake it, not until we're good and ready to take it out. Any time before, would be madness." I informed him sounding oddly bored.

Bard opened a cupboard and retrieved two glasses and about four bottles of what looked like an alcoholic beverage, sitting down opposite me he uncapped the first _large_ bottle and poured us both a drink. It smelled suspiciously like whiskey.

"You can't seriously be intending to go with them." His eyebrows rose with his voice, disbelief etched into his features.

I raised my own eyebrows in a challenging sort of manner, "You can't seriously be insinuating I don't."

"Zalia that family…" He took a large gulp of his drink downing it in one, and I took the opportunity to do the same. "That family…" He continued filling both glasses again. "Are prone to madness."

"Madness how?" I probed.

I knew Thorin's Dad had apparently gone a little bananas but Thorin didn't really seem like the type.

"Madness of the brain, a sickness if you will." Once again he downed his glass and I copied.

When they were both full again, the amber liquid looking more and more appealing by the second, I asked, "What sort of sickness?"

Bard pursed his lips and ran a hand over his chin in a rather thoughtful manner. "Dragon Sickness."

At my quizzical look, after we finished the drinks and poured new ones once more, "An obsession with gold, jewels, everything shiny."

"Like a fuckin' magpie." I murmured, finishing off my fourth drink and eyeing the bottle, "What do you expect me to do about it?"

The top of the bottle chinked with the glass as he poured another drink. "Prevent it, keep them away from the dragon or stay away from it yourself…" Fixing me with a sombre look he continued. "I meant what I said, death and ruin are what lie in that mountain."

"But do they have to be?"

Sighing and then narrowing his eyes in a thoughtful manner he said, "I do not believe they do. Not so much anymore."

"If I thought… we could get hurt, things could go terribly wrong somehow but that does not mean that we cannot rebuild from ruin. Sometimes, that paves a better future. You have to make your own mistakes sometimes…" I trailed off as I threw back my head finishing another drink. "And normally you are much better off for it."

_Just like I am, since making mistakes which affected Fili and I, thanks to Kili, everything is much, much better._

Bard grinned, "If anyone else had said that to me Zalia Lucas I would have called them a fool…" He rubbed his chin in thought again. "But for some reason when you say it, it makes sense."

"It's all about having the right balance, the right people, the right time."

"And do you think you have the right balance, the right people… that your time, _this time_ is right?"

I trailed a hand through my hair, which was somehow just as soft and unknotted as when Fili brushed it this morning.

"I hope so."

He clicked his tongue and nodded at me, solemn looks adorning both our faces, we drank.

* * *

><p>Bofur meant to tell Fili what he'd done as soon as he returned. He really did. But when Fili asked where Zalia was, when Bofur saw the look on his face; the love and adoration mixed with a protective spark… well he just couldn't do it.<p>

He thought perhaps if he gave himself sometime to build up to it, to bring out the courage he was going to need to explain exactly what he'd done to his friend then he would be able to tell Fili eventually. He was wrong.

As the night wore on and Fili became more and more agitated, pacing and snapping at various members of the company, even Kili and Thorin on occasion, Bofur realised the courage he so prided himself on, had deserted him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Ah you're drunk,<br>You're drunk you silly old fool,  
>Still you cannot see,<br>That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me,  
>Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more,<br>But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before!" _

Bard and I burst out in fits of laughter as we stumbled along the wooden streets back towards the house I was staying in.

"I can't believe you know The Dubliners! Granted not _as_ The Dubliners but still!" I exclaimed gleefully as I stumbled and tripped over a rope, "Whoops!"

I grinned at the sky face flushed, hair all over the place for a few seconds trying to remember how to stand.

"I can't believe you drank all my ale!"

"We, sir! _We _drank all your ale!" I corrected finally remembering how to get to my feet, I used a crate to help me up just as Bard went over.

He rolled around on the floor, clutching his sides with tears of laughter pouring down his face. "I can't stop." He panted. "I don't remember how not to laugh."

"Don't roll in the river." I slurred trying to act and look responsible. I failed miserably.

"Oooh! Don't roll in the river!" He cackled away and I huffed.

"I'm leaving!" I flounced down the road, rounded the corner and was nearly to the house when he pulled me over and I fell with an 'oof'.

* * *

><p>If Bofur hadn't been nervous before, he was at the animalistic, ferocious, wild sound Fili let out as he stood at the window. Trying not to look guilty or shifty he got up and strolled over with the others as they gathered around. What he saw looking out of the window was certainly not good. Zalia and Bard were out there, Zalia was on the floor, and Bard was swaying lightly next to her. They were clearly drunk.<p>

"What the hell does she think she's doing now?! Does she not listen to a word I say?!" Fili shouted, his grip on the window ledge was so tight his knuckles were turning white.

Bofur opened his mouth to answer, but, at the look on Fili's face, was silenced. Anyone who wasn't Zalia right now and pissed Fili off was in for a world of pain. Bofur did not intend on being that person.

* * *

><p>"Don't be a meany." Giggling again and poking me in the side with his foot annoyingly he continued. "It's not becom- becom- be… something…"<p>

We lay for a few seconds just staring into space.

"BECOMING!" He announced loudly shooting up and nearly toppling again. "It's not becoming of a lady."

I heaved myself up. "How many times do I have to info- Inro- in- _tell_. How many times do I have to tell people I'm not a lady!"

"Nine."

"Really why nine?"

"It's just a nice number, don't you think it's just a nice number."

I nodded thoughtfully as we took a few more stumbling steps to the door. "Seven's not."

"Why not?"

"Because it ate nine… I think that's what I was told once."

"Oh no! Not nine!"

"'Fraid so." I nodded soberly, before falling over in a fit off giggles again. "Of course not you numpty!"

"Hey I am not a numpty! I am an upstanding cit- cite- something… person!"

"Sure you are."

"You know who's not upstanding?" Bard asked putting his hands on my shoulders, leaning down to my height and staring straight into my eyes.

"Who?"

"Alfred!"

"Why is he not upstanding? Oh!" I giggled and leant forwards slightly, using Bard to keep myself balanced. "Is it because he's hunched over all the time."

"More like bent over."

I could not control the laughter that burst out of me as I pushed the door to the house open, "Oh you think he's gay!"

"He so is!"

"Might be as bent as a roundabout."

"I don't know what that is."

"Like a circle thing…. That… well yeah, a circle thing."

"He totally takes it from the Master."

"Yeah, definitely the taker… seems mean but…" I sighed with a shrug. "That's just the way of it, everyone wants the top position."

Bard's laughter bubbled out of him and he beamed as he said, "Well would you want to look at it?!"

"EWW! BARD SHUT UP! THAT IS JUST THE WORST!"

"I guess he just likes it like that."

"Or Alfred likes the Master being the way he is."

"More cushion for the pushin'?"

Absolutely roaring with laughter, tears streaming down my face I fell through the door which I'd left slightly ajar. "Oh god, I can't…" I panted and huffed through my laughter, "Breathe I need to breathe!"

"Well I have returned you safely, with many lovely images to dream about and I bid you goodnight!" With a massive flourish Bard bowed and began walking backwards before, falling over and then shouting comically, "I'm O-K!"

"Don't fall in the lake!" I wheezed back through my laughter.

Eventually the laughter subdued to giggles and finally I managed to wipe the tears from my eyes, sighing contently, "Oh," I muttered as my eyes caught Fili's, "You look _real _grumpy, Fils."

* * *

><p>I watched as Fili's chest rose with a deep breath, his mouth pulled into a tight line.<p>

After a few moments, which were silent apart from the giggles that still escaped me he spoke. "Mimur, _what in the world_ do you think you're doing?"

"Right now?" I asked, my fuzzy brain not really understanding the question, I looked down at myself. "I'm lying on the floor."

He closed his eyes, I continued to let my eyes roam over him. _He's so gorgeous and lovely, funny and kind, sweet and scary and he's all entirely mine._ I'm pretty sure I was giving him mooney eyes, but before I managed to figure it out Kili spoke.

"Are you drunk?!" He asked sounding extremely perplexed.

I sat up to look at him in the face. "No Kils….I'm way past drunk, way past wasted even… I'm utterly wankered." And with a small 'eep' I slipped backwards and my head bounced off the floor with a bang. I groaned. "Oh that is going to hurt in the morning."

"Mimur." My eyes flicked back to Fili, I didn't miss the frustration and barely concealed anger in his voice before he crouched down. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Okay." I answered with a yawn, "Now I think about it I am kinda sleepy."

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me. "Weee."

The others were looking at me with a mixture of horror and amusement written on their faces. Brow furrowing I gazed up at Fili. "Fils." I murmured snuggling into his chest as he carried me bridal style up the stairs. "I love you."

He sighed heavily. "I know Mimur. I love you too."

Knocking open the door to my room with his shoulder he lifted one side of the blanket and put me into bed, before carefully removing my shoes. As he went to leave I reached out and grabbed his hand, placing a small kiss on each finger and then each knuckle. He gently caressed my face, eliciting another yawn from me.

"You're angry at me… I don't know what I'm supposed to have done, but you are. And whatever I did I'm sorry." I spoke softly, honestly, seriously.

"I know Mimur. We'll talk in the morning. Get some sleep."

"Okay, night Fils." As I rolled over and burrowed down into my soft covers, I heard him sigh again closing the door.

* * *

><p><strong>So hope you liked it?<strong>

**Gotta go, in a hurry but thanks for all the favs follows and reviews!**

**Rue**


	29. Emotional Rollercoaster

_Oh my Jesus, Holy Christ and fuck almighty. What the hell? How much did I drink last night?!_

I winced at the creek of the bed when I stepped out, I groaned at the sound of my feet padding on the floor and dear god if opening the door didn't make my head feel like exploding.

_I must have been totally gone. Just absolutely gone._ I thought rubbing one hand over the back of my head, face scrunched up with pain as I used the other hand to grip at my temple. _Like seriously, drunker than drunk!_

My face scrunched more and more tightly the closer I got to the kitchen door, the noise was almost unbearable. I poked at one particularly painful part of my head.

_Is that a lump? When did I fall over? … Oh when I got in… Shit. Fili totally wasn't happy._

As I swung open the door to the kitchen with a loud groan the noise stopped, that you'd think would help the headache but actually it just made me panic a bit, which I think made it worse. I blinked trying to adjust my bleary eyes so I could see everyone, when Bombur walked up to me holding out a plate of food.

"No, no, no. Oh dear god no!" I put my hand over my mouth as I gagged, "Urgh! How much did I drink?"

When no one answered I moved over and prepared myself a glass of water. The cool liquid slipped down my throat and I sighed. "Oh god it's like heaven."

"Are you feelin' it lassie?!"

"SHHHH!" I winced at Oin's loud voice and held my head tightly in the hand without the water.

"I'd say that's a yes." Dori whispered.

I carefully made my way out of the room, trying not to move too much, it seemed I was still feeling seasick, if my stomach was anything to go by. "Yes it's a yes. Anyone know where Fils is?"

"He is in his bed chambers." Thorin's voice literally split my head open.

"Ahhh!" I moaned, "Okay awesome, next time if you could have Ori whisper to me, that would be great." And I slipped out of the room, padded as softly as possible up the stairs and knocked on Fili and Kili's bedroom door. Still holding the glass of water.

_I wonder how I fucked up this time?_

When he didn't answer, I knocked again, "Fils? You in there?" No reply. "Are you ignoring me?" I heard a small sound which I took to be an agreement noise and slipped back into my own room.

Shutting the door, I quietly slid down it and sat holding my glass of water to my head, "_Fantastic._"

* * *

><p>After I finished my glass of water and felt a little steadier on my feet I decided it might be a good idea to try Fili again, it wasn't. I still got no response whatsoever. Deciding that if I couldn't sort things out with Fili now then breakfast would be a good idea I shuffled back down the stairs and into the kitchen.<p>

"Breakfast now Zai?" Bombur asked with a grin.

"Yes please." I said quietly slipping into a seat next to Kili.

Bombur grinned widely at me. "And what would you like?"

"Anything big and greasy would be awesome. I just wish I had a double dose of aspirin to go with it!"

Kili inclined his head towards me slightly, "What's a double dose of aspirin?"

I sighed, "It's these pill things, basically they look like seeds but bigger and they have stuff in that when you take them after about twenty minutes your headache goes away. Considering I have a headache the size of China that would be lovely."

"China?" Balin asked.

"This really massive country in my world." I replied groaning and holding my head in my hands. "Honestly it feels like my brain's going to explode."

Bombur set my breakfast down in front of me, it was like full English! Lots of bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs, fried bread the lot. I'd never seen something so appetizing in my life. I began to dig in to the mountain of food as if it could disappear any second.

Everyone was quiet. Which was, odd, to say the least. Normally someone would be laughing or joking but there was only the sound of eating going on, mostly me, chewing and scraping my knife and fork across the plate until finally I'd finished. Thankfully I felt a hell of a lot better.

"Bombur I cannot thank you enough seriously that was excellent." I beamed at him as he took my plate.

"Just a shame about your magic seeds eh?" He retorted, his ginger beard jiggling as he winked.

I exhaled heavily, "Yeah just a real shame about the aspirin."

"Not like you deserve it."

My eyebrows just about rose to my hairline as I swung to the side, facing Kili, "Excuse me?!" I asked in a high pitched disbelieving and slightly offended tone.

"Well you don't." He replied giving me a hard look.

"You have got to be fuckin' kiddin' me." Kili stared back blankly at me. "What did I do now?"

"Do you realise how upset my brother is?"

My shoulders dropped and I glared at him, "Actually considering it's me he's ignoring and I seem to be the only one who doesn't have any _clue_ what I'm meant to of done. Yes, yes I do realise. So if your oh so wonderful self would like to enlighten me, then please, _be my guest!_" I finished my little speech with a scathing voice and irritated look.

"You really don't know?! How did you think it was going to be okay with him that you went and got completely drunk with another man?! That man in particular! _You_ should have asked him! Or at least told him!" Kili fumed back.

_Honestly, it's a wonder there isn't steam coming from his ears!_

"_That's_ what this is about? Really?! For god sake I thought-"

"What did you think? _What exactly _Zai? Because any one of us could have told you that was certainly _not_ okay if you had just bloody well asked! _Mahal! _You are so, so-"

I cut Kili of by banging up from the table tears in my eyes, "Yes Kili please do continue telling me what an awful person I am before you even know everything, I'm sure it's wonderful of you! Honestly, you're meant to be my _friend_ and it's not like I could _possibly_ feel shitty enough already!"

The room was silent at my outburst. I looked around at all of the dwarves, none of them said anything in my defence and that made me feel worse.

"Oh and of course you all agree, that's brilliant guys! Thanks for the vote of confidence there!"

"Well, you did come home rather worse for wear." Nori pointed out fairly. "And you were both falling all over the place. You could have done anything with him."

I seethed, my rage was reaching a boiling point but to my dismay I found tears slipping down my face. "_Yes_ thank you Capitan Obvious, no one would have noticed without your radiant observational skills there!" I felt the cool tears running down my hot cheeks like rain on sunburn. "And really it's fuckin' great you all think so little of me! Why in the world I would want to do anything like that with anyone but Fili is beyond me! I didn't even do it in my world where it was accepted!"

They all looked really uncomfortable at my outburst.

"Oh sorry I thought you'd all like to know my _purity_ or whatever the fuck you call it is still intact since you seem to take such a bloody interest!" My chest was heaving by the time I finished and I furiously wiped the tears from my face, I didn't want to be upset, I wanted to be angry.

"Zalia what did you mean we don't have all the facts?" Enquired Thorin calmly.

"I am not ratting on anyone. You didn't want to know before so why worry now!" And with that I turned, stomping out the room, never having felt so sick to my stomach in my life.

When I made it, I just broke down on my bed and cried, I wailed, whined, wept, yowled and moaned. Clutching the presents I'd spent so long on trying to make perfect for Fili the other day. As my breathing finally began to slow and my head began throbbing even worse than before, I put them back under the blanket and just lay back on my pillow feeling extremely hollow.

_It's just not fair. _Logically I knew life wasn't fair but it hurt to think even knowing what my world was like, that they expected that sort of thing from me. Fili had quickly become the most important person in the world to me and from the looks of it everyone seemed to think I was a massive mistake.

"We don't think you're a mistake Zai." Ori, bless his little cotton socks, came over and gently sat down next to me as I sniffled again.

"Go away. I didn't even realise I was speaking out loud." I whimpered shuffling into my covers and burying my face in the pillow.

"Honestly, we're really sorry lassie." Dwalin said crouching down beside the bed.

"Especially me Zai." Kili climbed up next to me so I had to look at him.

"I should have told them last night, I didn't and for that I can never be more sorry, but I will tell Fili, right now!" Bofur exclaimed, his face already bruising from where I assumed someone had hit him.

"S'not your fault."

"Yes, yes it is. This time it is entirely my fault." Bofur said and he slipped out of the room, leaving me entertaining eleven dwarves and a hobbit.

Bilbo gulped as he climbed up on the end of the bed, "Zai, I should have said something, I thought I'd heard you ask Bofur but I wasn't sure and I…"

"Bilbo it's fine." I answered. "Completely fine."

"Honestly we don't think badly of you at all, or expect badly, we were just angry that after your outburst the night before… well… I'm just sorry for what I insinuated." Nori had his head hanging in shame.

I nodded, feeling a little better already. "You bastards. Now I _really_ need the aspirin."

When everyone laughed, I knew we were okay.

* * *

><p>"OUCH!" Kili jumped about a foot off the bed. "What is that?"<p>

"Oh don't break it!" I exclaimed pushing him right off the bed so he went crashing to the floor, "It took me forever to do!"

Thorin raised his eyebrows, "Er, what did?"

I sighed and yanked the presents I'd made for Fili out from under the blanket. Turning slightly so I was facing everyone I said, "See look, I got some leather and made a knife holder, and then with the spare leather I made a bracelet which took forever to weave. And there were these little plaques on the knife so I had Ori teach me how to write Fili and 'my love' in Khuzdul and I carved it into the little plaques. I think it's okay…" I trailed off as Thorin took the presents and began examining them, passing them around the others. "I wanted Fili to see them first but…" I shrugged.

"These are really good."

"Really good? They're bloody excellent."

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'awesome' that is Zalia's phrase."

The praise coming from the dwarves had my cheeks heating up again but this time, not from anger but embarrassment.

"It's nothing much… I didn't make the knife, so I think that's kinda cheating…"

"Do not be so ridiculous. That is perfectly acceptable. It is very unique actually." Thorin replied finally handing them back to me.

I smiled weakly, "Thanks, I just hope he likes them as much as you do." With a short sigh I put the presents back on the side and turned to the door, "I guess I better go and see if he's ready to talk to me yet."

* * *

><p>When we left my room, we could see Bofur stood outside Fili's room, still it appeared, attempting to be allowed inside. "I'm sorry Zai he won't…"<p>

I waved Bofur away with my hand."Fils?" I called knocking on the door. "Are you ready to talk now or not?"

I put my ear to the door, trying ridiculously hard to hear an answer, but none came.

"That's it you stubborn bastard I'm coming in!" Throwing myself into the door was not a good idea, especially not when it turned out, he was opening it. I fell in, face first with just enough sense to roll onto my back mid-fall. "Ow!" I groaned.

Fili raised his eyebrows at me, his arms crossed. I sprang up. "I'll admit, not the entrance I wanted but I'll roll with it."

"Will you now?" His voice was seriously flat.

"Yes, I will, you are going to talk to me, and if you're not going to talk then I am going to talk _at _you and you are going to listen!" I crossed my arms and gave him a hard stare; he sniffed and nodded, slamming the door in the face of the others who had all been watching with interest.

"What is your problem?!" I ranted, "How rude do you have to be to mmmpfff."

Fili took me by complete surprise, lifted me and quite literally chucked me onto the bed before striding over and straddling me, pinning my arms above my head with one hand and covering my mouth with the other.

"You." He said eyes hard as ice, "You are my problem right now. It seems whatever I say to you, you can't get it into that head of yours that I _worry_ about you. And that it is different here! Do you know how last night made me feel?! Do you?!"

He glared down at me as I pointedly looked down at the hand covering my mouth. With a huff he removed it. "Yes actually I do, do you know how it made me feel? How this morning made me feel?"

"URGH!" With a growl to rival a wolves, Fili leapt up from the bed and stormed around the room. "NO! You don't get to make me feel bad! I won't have it! I won't, I've done enough of that already and I…"

To my horror I realised he was upset. And I mean he was seriously _upset_. "Fils?" My voice was soft and questioning as he sat down on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. "Fili?"

I pulled myself over so I was lying on my side, tucking my head round to look up at him slightly and resting my elbow by his knee. Fili didn't move but when I heard a deeper sniff than normal, I realised why.

"Oh darlin'" I stroked my hand over his hair. "Sweetheart what did I do? Why are you so upset?"

"He's…he's what you really want. What you're used to and I'm just a stupid dwarf! He's human and tall and handsome and…"

"Hold it!" I snapped making Fili take his hands off his face and look at me. "Hold it right there Mr, what exactly makes you think I have any interest in Bard? He's my friend. And yes he is attractive but I don't _fancy_ him or anything. He's just… the first person to really get me. He understands most of my odd slang terms. It's familiar. But it's not right!"

I wiped the tears from Fili's cheeks and sat up properly leaning my forehead against his. "This is right. This is everything I want. Not a guy who's waist I barely come up too and who tries to convince me to abandon my friends. You, Fili… you're it for me. Yes I was human once, but I'm not now. And sure it's still weird and irritating at times but this is my future. _You _are my future and I wouldn't replace you for anyone. Certainly not a man whose waist I barley reach." I smiled.

Fili grinned weakly at me. "In that case, what the hell did you think you were doing? Do you realise how worried I was? How panicked?!"

"FYI I had it on good authority it would be alright. Apparently my source was mistaken."

"You mean to tell me, I shouted and spent all night and morning swinging between angry and depressed because someone told you it would be okay?!"

I grinned, _that's my Fili, my wrathful, protective man here._

"That someone knew where you were?! And I was worrying for nothing?!"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes" He growled out, "Yes it does matter."

"Well I'm not dobbing anyone in. But I did try and find you and Kili first, but Kili was asleep and you were out."

"What do you mean, 'dobbing'?"

I grinned as his furious look turned into one of pure puzzlement and he twirled my braid around his finger.

"I mean," I said tugging on his moustache braid. "I'm not telling on anyone."

"Fine, I'll find out I-" He stopped mid-sentence and stared at me as if I'd just fluently recited that I thought orcs were good looking in Khuzdul. "Wait you were going to ask my permission? You. Ask." His eyebrows were almost non-existent.

"Yes, I promised I'd pay more attention to how you feel about things here didn't I?" I grinned, "Do you not listen to anything I say?"

"I…" He gulped. "Thank you, and you know if having a friend like _Bard_" He practically spat out the name, "Is normal in your world then I'm okay with that too…"

"No you're not, but that's okay. We're learning, it's compromise, we'll get there eventually."

Bobbing his head he suddenly swiped forwards, caught me round the waist, pulled me across his lap and began kissing me. I moaned at the feeling of his lips against my mouth, at the feeling of being completely engulfed in his arms, of just being surrounded by pure Fili. He panted pulling back with what seemed like extreme effort, eyes glistening with desire.

"Okay we can't do that here, so I've got something better!" Lifting me up as he stood and then setting me on my feet he said "Close your eyes."

I sighed but at the look he gave me did as he asked, pursing my lips together trying to suppress a smile. I felt something tickle my neck and something cool and heavy rest between my breasts and then, "Okay now open them!"

Grinning my eyes flew open and I looked down and gasped. Sitting in between my breasts was a beautiful stone, I didn't even want to think of how much it cost, which he had somehow made into a 'Z' shape. It was a beautiful blue/green, the same exact colour as his eyes, held onto a lovely strong braided rope pattern necklace, made with dark brown leather.

"You said it was your favourite colour and so I…"

I launched myself forwards as he shuffled around nervously in front of me and landed straight in his arms, planting another kiss on his lips I pulled back "Fils it's perfect."

"Just like you then Mimur."

I grinned and hurried away to get his presents.

"Hey!" He called and I could hear heavy footsteps following me down the corridor. "Where are you going?"

I just about had time to grasp his presents and swing round, hiding them behind my back, when he walked in.

"You know I wasn't finished with you!" He smirked slyly and then pounced. As he latched onto my sides tickling me relentlessly I burst out into high trilling giggles and we both fell to the floor in our struggle. Making it extra hard to hold onto the presents.

"Fili stop!" I tried to implore him but it was no use.

"I find myself utterly unable!"

"You doofus stop! I have something for you too!"

At this he froze looking absolutely bewildered. "You…you do?"

"Don't sound so shocked!" I admonished him with a grin. "You told me that's what we did, so I made you some things too."

I frowned looking down at my necklace, the delicate weaving and craftsmanship required. "They're nothing like yours though… nowhere near as good."

He sat up cross legged and I struggled up copying, trying not to break anything. He didn't rush me. I was like a child when it came to presents, and I know I would have rushed him if I had realised what he was doing but as I didn't, however, Fili had more self-control.

He waited patiently, twirling one end of his moustache until I brought out the bracelet from behind my back.

"I thought it would suit you and I just… yeah, yanno it's probably stupid but-"

The raw emotion in his eyes when his head tilted upwards and he caught my eyes made me come to a grinding halt. Delicately fingering the bracelet he whispered, "It's perfect, could you?"

His right hand reached out towards me, holding the bracelet and I nodded taking it from him, "You don't have to feel obliged to wear it… I-"

"Mimur," His lips landed on mine and we ended up on the floor kissing once more. My soft pink lips against his chapped ones, my hands fisted in his hair and his tongue swiped at my bottom lip. My mouth parted instinctually and eventually pure passion and love in his kiss was enough to make me breathless. "Shut up." He muttered as he pulled us both up again.

We panted heavily for a few seconds while I put his bracelet on for him and then as he went to stand I grasped him firmly by the wrist. "Where do you think you're going?! I've got another here!"

Wasting no more time I pulled the knife in its leather sheath from behind my back and handed it to him. "I made the sheath, not the knife which is probably cheating but I did carve the plaques!"

Fili said nothing. He inspected the sheath and then drew the knife, first he admired the blade and finally his eyes fell on the plaques. I don't know quite what he was expecting but the small intake of breath let me know that it wasn't anything like what I'd done. For about five minutes he simply sat, turning the knife over in his hands, looking at one plaque and then the other, stroking his thumb over one plaque and then the other.

I tittered nervously. "Well… see Ori taught me how to write what I wanted to put, I may have done it completely wrong, and I mean I thought the knife was pretty but it might be no good, and if the sheath isn't right then-"

"Mimur." The gravelly tone in his voice was enough to make me fall silent, mouth still parted slightly. "I have never received such a thoughtful, wonderful… it's just…"

I smiled and leant forwards brushing my lips on his lips before leaning back and looking up at him from under my eyelashes. "You like it then yeah? Because it took forever, I told you I can't hand-make anything...so it's not perfect but-"

"Mimur." His tone was as grave as I had ever heard it. "It couldn't be more perfect."

_Well if this morning hasn't been an emotional rollercoaster… then I don't know what constitutes._ I thought as I beamed.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi guys, <strong>

**Hope you liked this chapter! **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews!**

**Rue**


	30. Two Halves Of A Whole

We sat in silence for a few moments looking at each other, just looking. It should have felt creepy, uncomfortable and weird but it didn't. As the sunlight filtered in through the window, framing Fili and making him look like he was an angel; a gift sent from God, everything was perfect. I felt calm, so calm just like on a hot lazy summer's day where you lay in the grass and everything feels right. You're not too hot, you're not too cold, and everything at that particular moment is utter perfection.

I'm not saying I didn't know before, but that day as we gazed at each other, sitting on a wooden floor in a borrowed house in Laketown, that was the day I knew that without Fili my life would be incomplete. This was the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the man that I'd go through ups and downs and every other imaginable emotion with, and that was complete perfection, because without Fili, I could no longer be me. I didn't know how to be Zalia without Fili and I didn't ever want to be.

_Fili is my other half, my soul mate._

Reaching out a hand and cupping his face I stroked my thumb over his beard, it was coarse and yet soft, entirely Fili. His eyes closed and he looked utterly contented for a second, just a fleeting moment, "Hey." I murmured.

"Hey." His eyes slowly opened, trailing up my face and connecting with mine. For an instant I forgot how to breathe.

"Fili, I love you." Soft whispering words, on a hard floor in an uncomfortable position, but that moment meant the world. I wouldn't change it for all the comforts of heaven.

"I love you too."

We grinned, fleetingly and in tandem, the corners of our mouths tugging upwards as his hand lifted, tenderly skimming up my arm and to the hand on his face, leaving a long tingling sensation behind… almost a tickle but not one that makes you want to laugh. His large hand clasped mine, engulfing it and slowly, so slowly he brought my hand to his mouth placing a delicate kiss on the backside, his moustache skimming the surface and giving me goose-bumps, the cool metal beads making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Perhaps we should join the others?" It was a painful suggestion to both of us.

The moments of just being with each other were few and far between, as were the moments of sitting and appreciating each other; they passed like flashes of lightning, quick and fleeting.

"I don't want to." I replied.

_Especially after my purity comment earlier. _I cringed thinking about it. _Oh god._

Fili's lips quirked into a half-smile. "Why are you blushing?"

I shook my head, "Doesn't matter."

Raising his eyebrows but not questioning me he stood pulling me up with him, "Well then, come on. I want to try out my new knife."

"Okay so it might matter a little." I flushed as he turned around again lifting a brow quizzically. "I may have announced that my virginity is still intact. Actually I think I yelled at them about purity or something..."

As I trailed off and cringed once more, the moment was broken. Fili began laughing, his deep rumbling laughter just made me want to hide forever. "Fils it's not funny!" I moaned tugging on his hand.

His laughter died down to random chuckles. "Actually it is, but…" Gently he stepped towards me, until he was so close I had to tilt my head right back to look up at him, he fingered my braid, "I could not be more glad of that. That it is a moment you will share with me. It is an act we will only ever engage in with each other. I had thought perhaps, coming from a world such as yours that you might have…but I am so pleased you haven't." He looked down at me thoughtfully. "It doesn't make it mean any less or any more, I decided that a long time ago when the thought first crossed my mind. But to know that you are mine, will only ever be mine and have only ever been mine. _That_ is something indeed."

"FILI! COME ON! I'VE SEEN THAT KNIFE! I WANT A GO! OIN'S LETTING ME PRACTICE!" Kili burst into the room just as Fili's lips caressed my own; it was so fleeting it was almost torture.

_Every time Kils. We're standing being all romantic and then in you come. Honestly, if Thorin is Thorin Oakenshield, Kili could be Kili Momentkiller._

Fili head still firmly facing me, slowly moved his eyes to the door just as I did. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, pretty much supporting me entirely and he was slightly hunched over towards me.

Kili smiled slyly. "Keep this up and that _purity_ won't be intact much longer princess." And with a wink, he turned and ran.

"KILI YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I chased after him, laughing as I went and bubbling over with joy that my best friend was getting better.

_Even if he is a complete and utter moment killer._

* * *

><p>When we got downstairs we headed into the kitchen, the others were waiting for us to head out into the wooden 'garden' to train.<p>

"What's the matter Bombur?" I asked strolling over to him where he was glaring into the cupboards.

"I don't know what to cook. I don't want to use anything we want to take with us. _And_ I want to take advantage of the facilities we have here while we have them." He frowned. "It's very disheartening."

I let my eyes roam over the cupboards, "OH!" I exclaimed in a high pitched squeal, before my voice dropped to an excited hiss, "We could make _pizza_!"

Bombur eyed me warily. He had discovered on more than one occasion that my food making skills consisted of raw or charred. "And what exactly is that?"

"Oh, well it's this dough base with tomato sauce on and then cheese on top of that, then like meats or fruits or vegetables or whatever!" I grabbed his arms and bounced up and down excitedly. "Please say we can make pizza. Please, please, please!"

Grinning at my completely childish antics, he nodded. "Okay Zalia. We can make this pizza you speak of."

"YES!" I jumped and fist pumped the air, before turning to face the others who were all giving me looks like I was a crazy person. "What?! I haven't had pizza in over a year! Sue me for being excited why don't cha?"

Dwalin pursed his lips, crossing his arms over his chest. "You have to train lassie."

"Awww!" I moaned making Bilbo chuckle. "But I don't _wannnnnnaaa_."

Thorin shot me a look which clearly stated that I was going to be training. I stared back at him imploringly. "Be fair here! Bombur has no idea how to make pizza!"

"Training first." _Stupid damn King Under The Mountain putting his huge foot down._

I sighed, "Fine. But then," I swung around to face Bombur pointing at him half-playfully, half-threateningly, "Then we make pizza."

As it turned out, training didn't go quite to plan. Dwalin spent some time going over some harder moves with me before passing me off to spar with Bifur. Now let me tell you, sparring with Bifur is always terrifying quite simply because he's a complete mad-man when it comes to fighting and because even when he's trying to give you pointers you can't understand him. Honestly, it's like someone screaming at you in German, being that the language sounds so harsh.

Bifur yelled at me and I jumped back out of the way of his sword. "Whatever you're saying I don't like it!" I retorted loudly.

He laughed and spat something else at me as our swords clashed together.

"Now that's just rude."

He stopped suddenly, so did everyone else. Fili's knife made a twanging sound where it had just been lodged in the fence once again and was still vibrating slightly.

"What did I say?"

Kili shook his head and answered me with a grin. "You actually said something that would have made sense as an answer is all… for a second we thought…"

I laughed, "No, don't be stupid. My language learning skills are abominable."

Bilbo rolled his eyes and chuckled slightly.

"Why aren't you training?!" I shot at him again.

He grinned at me and pointed his thumb at himself. "Burglar."

"I think." Thorin announced cutting off what was sure to be a little debate between Bilbo and I as I opened my mouth to retort. "It is about time you tried to fight someone with two blades."

I bobbed my head. "….and then I can make pizza?"

With an exasperated huff he rolled his eyes, "Yes Zalia then you can make this 'pizza' you seem so excited over."

"Awesome, okay, bring it on!" I said challengingly turning to face the rest of the group, when Fili stepped forwards I took a hurried step back, hands up in a surrendering motion. "Oh no, no, no and _no._ There is no way. I've seen him fight, he'll kill me!" I yelped.

The others laughed, "And you don't think anyone else could of?" Bofur called over.

I frowned. "Well… yeah. _But_ I haven't been telling you guys I could totally take you out for the last six months."

The fact that he loves me, at that particular moment in time, seemed to be neither here nor there.

"Aww Mimur." Fili crooned in a baby voice. "You sounded so confident before."

"That was before I knew it was actually gonna happen bub." I replied with a wink.

He stopped short. "Bub. Seriously?!"

"Baby's also quite common… or babe…" I grinned slyly as a look of disgust crossed his features.

"What is wrong with the people in your world?"

"Could have been worse could have called you bubba."

"Right that's it."

With a wide grin Fili launched towards me blades out and I scrambled backwards, throwing my sword up and blocking them.

He swung one down towards my side, "Shit." I dodged out of the way.

In all fairness he was going ridiculously easy on me. I could tell. Hell _anyone_ who had ever seen Fili fight could tell, he was being nowhere near as aggressive or fast, but man was this hard.

"This is hard." I moaned as I slashed at him again and jumped back to avoid his second blade skimming my arm.

"So?"

"So why do I have to learn this again?" I asked Kili, spinning past him and out of the way as Fili chuckled.

"Because otherwise you could die." Gloin dead-panned.

"Oh yeah!" I shouted back, aiming a kick at Fili to throw off his balance. "Knew there was a reason."

I saw Kili sneaking up behind Fili with his foot out, so taking complete advantage I jabbed forwards and as he sprang back, he tripped. The look on his face was _priceless_ it was total deer in the headlights. Laughter poured out of my mouth as I dropped my sword in favour of grabbing my sides.

"Oh my god." I panted, "That was just…" I broke down again into side-splitting laughter.

Fili raised his eyebrows at me, "Right," He said standing and brushing himself off, "That's it, come here Mrs!"

I screamed, a high, panicked scream filled with laughter as I tried to step back. "No!"

Catching my wrists and pulling me towards him, he managed to grab me by the waist, I struggled backwards and we both fell over. When we landed one of my arms was stuck between his chest and my chest, while he held the other by the wrist tightly.

"Got you!" Making exaggerated sounds he began peppering my face with quick kisses his beard tickling and scratching as he went.

"Stop!" I moaned, trying to move from under him and managing to free one arm, as I tried to push him off he grabbed it again.

"You know I rather like you like this. I can kiss you as much as I want!" The smile shone through in his voice and I giggled as I tried to escape.

"Fili! You're being _mean_!" I sounded like a complaining child.

"On the contrary, I'm doting, behaving quite lovingly."

"Urgh!" I wriggled underneath him; the others by this point were laughing so hard the garden practically vibrated with it, all the deep thundering laughs. "It tickles!" I tried to wiggle free and finally managed to escape as he eased up his grip to laugh. "YES! I'm free!"

Banging the ground I yelled. "Who's the champion now?!"

"Oh wrong thing to say." He beamed as he pounced at me and I fell back with a little 'eep'. I ended up in a bit of a predicament; him straddling me and my arms pinned either side of my head on the floor.

Using all my might, I raised my hips and managed to move us over a fraction. I did not however, manage to move him off of me.

"Well you can't say it's for lack of fight in the lass." I heard Dwalin mumble and the others murmur agreements as I bucked underneath Fili.

Eventually with a growl, Fili crashed his lips to mine. Hands still pinned down, Fili still astride me and everyone else watching we battled with our tongues. My heart ran a marathon and the butterflies in my stomach danced as my movements stilled.

When I was completely subdued underneath him, Fili yanked his head up with a snarl. "_Mahal Mimur!_" He gasped for breath, his eyes swirling with longing and need as I gazed up at him feeling a stab of heat straight into my core. "You can't do things like that! I can't…" He broke of panting again as I tried to get my own breathing under control, face flush.

We stayed like that panting heavily until eventually our breathing steadied out, still a little rough, but mostly steady.

I leaned my head back and suddenly remembered exactly where we were. "Oh…hi guys." I coughed awkwardly. The others either smiled at us as if we were something adorable, like Balin, or like Dwalin weren't really sure where to put their eyes. Gloin looked a bit wistful and I guessed he was missing his wife. "Thorin." I gave him a nod and a sheepish grin eliciting a loud laugh from Kili. He slapped his hands on his knees as it boomed out of him.

_He's finding this way too amusing._ I thought narrowing my eyes at him.

Fili looking nowhere near as sheepish and embarrassed, although a lot more subdued than a second before, stood, lifting me with him gently as he did. When we were both back on our feet, we turned to Thorin.

"I believe you should possibly not train together again… not until you are married at least."

We looked shiftily at each other, I'd made it quite clear that braid or not, courtship or not, I was not getting married until he proposed. Nor was I considering myself engaged, even though that was really just me being stubborn.

_And on that awkward note. I'm off to make pizza._

* * *

><p>"No look, you toss it like this!" After making an example pizza with Bombur's help, I was now trying to show him how to do it all on his own.<p>

"Like this?" He tossed the pizza perfectly.

"That's just not fair." _It takes me ages to re-learn that every time!_

At my playful glare he grinned, "How long must they cook?"

I shrugged, "For one this size in an oven, which is what we cook food in in my world, at like a hundred and eighty degrees about twenty minutes but considering you've got this down, I'll leave it to you."

He nodded excitedly. I think the thought of any new food excited Bombur. There came a short cough from the door and we turned to see Bofur stood there quite awkwardly.

"Yes brother?" Bombur asked. _Sometimes I totally forget they're brothers._

"No, I…actually I was wondering if I could talk to you Zai?"

The poor man sounded so nervous. Nodding and slapping Bombur on the back in a friendly way as I walked past; I followed Bofur into the living room area.

"Zai, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry." He began as soon as we were out of Bombur's earshot. "I never meant for anything like that to happen and-"

"It's alright." I grinned. "It happens. I probably deserved it for not checking with anyone else when it confused me anyway."

He stepped forwards and held out his hand. "This is what I was so absorbed in; I promised it to you, remember?"

I glanced down and saw the little fairy figure he'd be whittling that day before the trolls. It seemed like such a long time ago… it _was_ such a long time ago; we'd all changed so much since then.

"I remember, Bof you didn't have to…"

"I did, and anyway, we all wanted you to have something from us. Not because you need it, just because." I smiled at the thought and took it carefully in my hand.

_It really is amazing._

"It's really something you know... _really something_, just amazing." I told him as I admired it.

His feet shuffled nervously against the floor. "Yes and so are you." My eyes snapped up to his face, one finger still hovering over the fairy figurine in my other hand as Bofur continued "Why didn't you tell him?"

_Oh thank god for a second there I thought perhaps he was trying to say he fancied me or something and I mean he's my best friend and I'm in love with Fili and well just… phew!_

"Why didn't you tell him Thandir visited?" I shot back.

Bofur frowned in confusion. "Because you are my friend."

"Exactly, I got your back man." I slipped the little figure in my pocket and gave him a quick hug. "That's what friends do."

"BOFUR!" Fili sounded extremely pissed off and as Bofur steeled himself, I stepped in front of him.

Bofur eyed me quizzically looking panicked. "And so is this." I informed him just as Fili came barrelling in, completely steaming.

* * *

><p>"Mimur move."<p>

I sighed, "We've been over this ten times already Fili." I said with my arms crossed, mirroring his stance completely. "I'm not moving."

"I will move you if I have to." He threatened.

I raised my eyebrows grinning, slightly sadistically. "Oh will you now?" I continued in a more serious manner, "Look he has apologised. It's done, there's nothing we can do about it and there is too much shit going on to go fighting with each other!"

Fili glared. "But he-"

"Yes Fils I know! But we're alright aren't we?! And I don't exactly think it's a mistake he's going to be making ever again."

The dwarves heads flicked between Fili and I as they all tumbled in the room to catch the show, Bilbo was a little more sneaky about it. He just pretended to be looking at some of the books on the bookshelf but as an avid reader myself; I can tell when someone's faking.

Fili studied Bofur carefully over my shoulder, "Bofur?"

"No, no." I swear he was shaking his head so rapidly it made a gust of wind, I could only imagine how the silly flaps on his hat must be looking. "Never again."

"I still think-" Fili started voice hard.

"I don't." I cut him off, voice equally hard, challenging even.

_Here we go again! _I rolled my eyes. _Every time, we argue every time. We're just both so bloody difficult._

Fili advanced towards me and I planted my feet, I was ridiculously shocked when he tugged my arms free and took hold of my hands, running his thumbs backwards and forwards over them delicately. He frowned as he looked down at them, brows pulled together tightly.

"You have this on wrong." He let go of the one hand and tapped at my claddagh ring with his finger.

I looked down puzzled. "No, no I don't. That's in a serious relationship and _hey!_"

Fili had gently slipped the claddagh ring off my finger and was holding it between his thumb and index finger, running his eyes over it.

"That's mine Mr, I want it back I like-"

My right hand flew to my mouth as he deliberately began to bend down, now holding my left hand with his right and the ring in his left, eventually ending up in front of me on one knee. My eyes were as wide as saucers, and I didn't need to take them off of Fili to know that. I could feel it.

_Is he…?_

"Zalia Lucas… Mimur," He grinned cheekily, before slipping back into a sincere and serious look and voice. "You are stubborn, passionate, caring and always have to get your own way, always have to be right… well so am I. We argue, shout, rant, rave and scream at each other on a regular basis and honestly we're probably an awful match. People say love hurts all the time and we've certainly caused each other our fair share of hurt, worry and general bother. We're both angry and impulsive and downright infuriating. But I don't believe that love hurts. I don't believe it because when I'm with you I feel no pain. You're on my mind constantly and since meeting you, knowing I will see you every day; smiling, laughing, saying and doing the most ridiculous and inappropriate things, that is what has kept me positive, happy, unhurt. And now, now I'm asking you; because I can't bear to think of spending one second less with you than I possibly have to... I'm asking you because the thought of not being as close to you as possible in every imaginable way, not being _yours_ and you mine is unacceptable… I'm asking you… to marry me."

I don't know what I expected myself to do, how I expected myself to react. I think I thought I'd say yes, perhaps in a girly, airy, breathy voice. Or I'd jump on him but I did neither. With tears welling in my eyes, I simply … nodded.

Beaming, teeth glistening, smile wider than I've ever seen, eyes dancing with joy Fili slipped my claddagh ring onto my ring finger, heart pointing outwards in the engaged position. As the dwarves cheered Fili stood, swooping in grabbing me around the waist and swinging me down for what really reminded me of an old style movie kiss.

I held tightly to his shoulders, as if it had all been a dream, in case if I let go he would disappear, he didn't. He pulled us back up with a flourish and as I beamed up at him, smiling my face feeling like it would be stretched to breaking point I whispered, "You remembered, that conversation with Bofur and about the claddagh ring..."

Fili grinned down at me. "Mimur, I always remember."

"Not everything I say surely."

He looked down at me, meeting my eyes, a serious glint in his he said, "Oh yes everything. It's all important to me. Every." He nudged my nose with his. "Last." He nudged again. "Word."

* * *

><p><strong>So guys hope you liked it? <strong>

**I wanted to dedicate this chapter to Red089 because she's been helping me build up to all the big moments, letting me bounce ideas off her and things for ages, giving me advice even when I can't tell her much without ruining the story for her and generally writing me essays on every chapter so a big THANKS and I thought this would be the perfect chapter to tell her that on!**

**We'll probably be moving out of Laketown soon but in case you haven't noticed I'm using their time there to build on relationships. So hope the chapters are still entertaining you?**

**Just wanted to say I think the moment you find out about what Mimur means might be later than I originally anticipated :S. **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews. **

**Rue**


	31. Rare Moments

In my world this would all seem to be moving a bit fast, if I told anyone I just knew when I looked at Fili that he was the one well… they'd tell me I was crazy. But I _did_ know. And as he had said before, things are different in Middle Earth. From the moment he put that braid in my hair I knew I'd be spending the rest of my life with Fili and I've never regretted that once.

As the dwarves swooped in to give me joy filled hugs and congratulations, I was only half there. It was like a magical whirlwind for five minutes.

_To think, I'm in a different world, on a quest to face a dragon, engaged to a dwarf prince and about to eat pizza for the first time in a year. Life sure works in mysterious ways. It's a far cry from driving to work, that's for sure._

I went through the whole company getting hugs and congratulations from everyone before Kili and Thorin finally got their turn.

When I noticed it was going to be Kili hugging me next from over Ori's shoulder, I slyly grinned to myself. As Ori walked away with a bright, adorable smile adorning his face I stared at Kili with my eyebrows raised and a small half-grin tugging at my lips. His own cheeky grin was planted firmly on his face as he stared back.

"Oh come here then." I said with humour coating my voice and a sarcastically exasperated edge, as if he was hard-work or something, throwing my arms out wide.

Kili's grin turned into a full grown beam as he dived towards me, knocking me over so we both landed on the sofa, hugging tightly, heads resting on each other's shoulders.

"You know, you don't have to make me sound like such a chore sister."

Hearing the word sister coming from Kili's mouth just made everything feel a hundred times more real.

I choked back a sob and blinked rapidly so I didn't end up crying as I replied in an emotional whisper, "You're not a chore Kils, I couldn't have ever asked for a better brother."

We pulled back from each other slightly to grin, as I looked at Kili's face I chuckled at his bright, child-like smile.

"Anyway," I continued, "I'm pretty sure there must be some small print about saying you don't get one of you without the other being around all the time, like a package deal type thing. Probably one of the reasons your mother had two." I finished with a mischievous glint in my eye.

A small disbelieving sound caught in Kili's throat and he rolled his eyes at me, "You called me a son of a bitch, I'd be careful Zai I haven't forgotten."

"Dude," I retorted as we stood up and I put a hand on my hip, "You were dying, I was trying to save your life, pretty sure I'm allowed to use whatever means necessary to get you to safety."

Kili smirked slyly and with a wink replied in a devious voice, "Nothing says I have to contextualize the comment."

"Nothing says I can't tell her how you spouted poetry at an elf-maid." I shot back.

Fumbling for words Kili cried, "I did not! And if I did it was because I was delirious!"

"Maybe not, but you were talking shit. I don't have to contextualize the comment." I threw a wink of my own in for good measure.

With a throaty chuckle at our antics as Kili went to respond again, Thorin cut in. He stepped in front of Kili and engulfed me in his huge arms, crushing me quite tightly to his chest. It was… odd. I mean I'd hugged Thorin before but not like this.

"I will be honoured to have you join the family, honoured to have you as a niece." The thunderous voice, for once, was low and choked, filled with emotion.

I swallowed thickly and looked up at him. "Don't know what you're on about pops." With a slight smile I pointed my thumb at my chest. "Daughter."

A wide grin stretching across his face Thorin's hold intensified and I was crushed further into his chest. I was just starting to run out of air when Bombur shouted "Food's done!"

Thorin's grip loosened and I leapt back, shooting through the dwarves until I was the first in the kitchen. "I call dibs on the first slice!"

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the dwarves and Bilbo had no idea how to eat pizza. This meant I had to show them all how to cut the pizzas and how to hold them before we could actually start dinner, but eventually we all sat around the table and it was finally time to dig in.<p>

"Mmm," I moaned as I took the first bite of pizza in what seemed like forever, I'd chosen a slice of the plain cheese for my first bit. "That is gorgeous."

_In fact it's mouth-watering cheesy goodness._

Watching everyone trying to eat pizza was hilarious. Kili and Bilbo were the most successful because they didn't have to worry about how not to get any in their beards; the others had a little trouble with this at first.

"Zai this is just… magnificent." Kili exclaimed when he had finished his first mouthful.

"Ain't it just?" I asked with a grin picking up my second slice, some sort of meat feast 'thing' Bombur had prepared. _Loaded with greasy goodness!_ I thought taking a bite.

At this point the others had finally managed to work out how to eat their pizza and as they all swallowed, I looked around at their faces with slight concern and nervousness. "So what do you think?"

"This is delectable!" Bombur, predictably, really liked the pizza and quickly gobbled up his first slice to begin tearing into a second.

"It's good." Ori announced, trying to speak with his mouth full.

I smiled; I thought Ori would like it, considering his love of food which isn't exactly good for you.

"It's quite appetising." Thorin said joining in with our little pizza appreciation group.

_We could totally call ourselves like... PAG or something..._

"Really tasty." Fili proclaimed from beside me, reaching for his second piece.

"Yes quite! And you say this is a food from your homeland?" Balin asked, fixing me with a quizzical look.

"Well." I paused a slight frown on my face, "Not my homeland exactly. It was made in Italy, but from my home _world_… yes."

"Well they make good food in this 'Italy' place." Dwalin put his two cents into the conversation.

Everyone murmured in agreement and Bifur said something in Khuzdul which I took to be complimentary even though he could have been lamenting about how disgusting it was for all I knew. We all munched away happily for a few moments, just enjoying the pizza before Nori piped up.

"How did you get your sword back Zai?"

My brows knit together and my mouth pulled down to the side in an unsure sort of look. "I don't really know Nori, the elves took it and then just before the orcs showed, BAM! Zai has a sword again."

"What did Thranduil tell you about the prophecy?" Thorin's voice was displaying a level of seriousness only he could reach.

I sighed, "Not much. He said something about if I stayed they could teach me about the sword and it's known properties, help me to discover one's which remained unknown… something about being one with the sword." Shrugging my shoulders I fell silent again.

_We really don't know much._

"Most peculiar indeed... may I?" Balin held out his hand and I assumed he wanted my sword so I unsheathed it and passed it across the table to him, completely unsure of what help looking at it would do.

"My, my how odd."

I raised my eyebrows. Bilbo set his eyes on Balin and queried, "What's odd?"

"The jewel in the hilt, the one which Zalia recovered to win the competition, it seemed to dull in my hands."

I definitely frowned when he said this. _Why in the world would it dull in his hands?_

Scratching my head slightly as I pondered, still munching away on my pizza, I watched Balin turn the sword over and bring it close to his face.

"What are you searching for?" Fili asked, also watching him curiously.

"I believe the elf said this was made by a Master dwarf smith. In which case there should be a mark…"

_Should there? I've never noticed a mark…except that pretty little thing right on the bottom of…_

"Balin check the bottom of the sword where it meets the hilt, I've seen something there before, whether or not it's this mark…" I trailed off.

Thorin swallowed his mouthful and then, as he wiped his mouth said, "We must try and get our hands on a copy of this prophecy as soon as possible."

"It is possible there is one in Erebor." Oin proclaimed. "I went many a time to study the medicinal books in the great library. So many old tomes are housed there it would not surprise me."

"If they're not ash by now brother." Gloin just _had_ to be the pessimist in the group.

"BY MY BEARD!"

Balin's shout made everyone jump slightly in their seats, it was so loud and out of character it was quite disconcerting.

Thorin of course, immediately snapped into leadership mode. "What have you found?"

I eyed Balin suspiciously as I took a swig of my drink, surely he must have found something amazing to make him proclaim like that.

"This sword." Balin paused, seemingly lost for words, he cast his eyes around the company for a few seconds before they finally landed on me. "This sword was forged by Durin the Deathless himself."

I spat out my drink and to my dismay it went all over poor Bilbo. "Shit!" I ran around the table, grabbing a cloth off the kitchen side and began helping Bilbo mop himself up. "I'm sorry Bilbo, sorry, sorry." I was shaking slightly as Bilbo waved me off in a friendly understanding manner. That announcement had taken me completely by surprise.

_A sword forged by the founder of a whole line of dwarves, THIS, line of dwarves why would I be able to complete a prophecy concerning such a great sword? Why me?_

The dwarves had all fallen dead silent. I ran a hand through my hair and began twirling my braid around my finger and biting my lip nervously. "What does that even mean?!" I asked eyes wide.

Balin shook his head, "Only time will tell dear," and handed me back my sword, "Only time will tell." Suffice to say I sheathed it quickly, probably looking as frightened and panicked by this revelation as I felt.

I knew the fact that Thorin was King Under The Mountain was all down to the fact that he was directly descended from the line of Durin. As far as I was concerned this meant that my sword being made by Durin was a BFD, Big Fucking Deal.

Eventually Kili broke the tense silence that had engulfed us all. "You look just like Fili did when your dad told him he wanted to speak to him."

_I bet I do, I'd have been terrified if I was Fili and my dad wanted to talk to him too… _I nodded absentmindedly before I quite realised what he'd said. _Wait…_

"What? When did my dad talk to you guys?" Puzzled and getting slightly panicked again I stared at Kili, waiting for the answer.

It was Bofur that answered. "When we were on Carrock, before you arrived. He told us about what it was like for you growing up and then gave Fili the whole 'that's my daughter' speech."

I felt a blush heat my cheeks at his words, "Oh he didn't!" I moaned.

Kili grinned, slightly cheekily as I took my seat back in between Fili and Bofur. "Oh he did. You look a little embarrassed their Zai…"

"I'm not embarrassed Kils… I'm bloody mortified." Groaning I let my head drop into my hands. "Why would he do that? What could _possibly_ have possessed him to do that?!"

Fili wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders. "It's alright Mimur, I thought he went quite lightly on me."

"That's not the point!" I wailed as I leaned into him nuzzling my head into his chest to hide my embarrassed face. "Why would he do that to me? He didn't even tell me! The sneaky little-"

I was cut off as the dwarves all began laughing and the mood picked up once more.

"Oh!" I snapped glaring at them all playfully. "I'm glad you all think this is funny!"

* * *

><p>Thankfully this revelation did lighten the atmosphere and after dinner we all decided that it would be nice to just hang out in the sitting room together.<p>

When I told them how nice I thought it was that we were just hanging out it did prompt a lot of questions. For example, they couldn't seem to understand that we weren't 'hanging' anywhere and therefore this statement seemed slightly ridiculous. It took a while but eventually we got to the point where everyone understood that in my world one could describe spending time with friends as 'hanging out' and then finally we could actually hang out.

Bofur and Dwalin began playing some music, how they had acquired new instruments I didn't know, and everyone was laughing and singing and just having a merry time really.

I was lying on the sofa curled up into Fili's side feeling snuggly and warm. Fili's strong arms were encasing me, clutching me securely to his body and I lay with my head on his chest feeling more chilled out than I ever had since arriving in Middle-Earth.

"And how are the newly betrothed this fine evening?" Kili inquired as he positioned himself heavily over the bottom of our entwined legs.

"The newly betrothed are just fine brother." Fili replied with a grin, making his chest rumble in a satisfying way under my ear and my knees feel strange and weak.

_Honestly, this man will be the death of me, he speaks and I turn to jelly._

"Yeah, we're pretty good." I said giving Kili a small smile. "How's the leg feeling Kils?"

The smile which lit up his face at this question gave me such a warm sensation that I couldn't help grinning back. It was completely infectious.

"It feels almost as good as new."

"Well that's good news indeed." Fili's voice coasted over the top of my head. "Bes' news I've heard in a while."

"I would think your best news would have been Zai saying she'd marry you." Kili shot back.

I felt Fili's lips brush the top of my head before he replied. "But I didn't hear that news brother, I saw it. When Mimur agreed to become my betrothed she nodded."

I chuckled, "He makes a good point… except, what did you call me?" I lifted my head from his chest to look at him feeling puzzled. _I thought that's what Kili was referring to us both as, unless that's still the term they use here which is right strange..._

"My betrothed, it means-"

I cut him off with a small grin, "I know what it means, I just hadn't heard anyone use that term for a while."

"Well what term do you use?" Kili's voice sounded about as confused as Fili looked. "What other term is there?"

"Well where I'm from I would call Fili my fiancé."

"Fiancé…" Kili tried the word out and it sounded odd dropping from his tongue.

"Fiancé." Fili also attempted to say the word.

"Fiancé" Kili raised his voice this time.

"Fiancé" Fili lowered his.

"Fiancé" Kili put emphasis on the start of the word.

"Fiancé" Fili put emphasis on the end of the word.

This continued for a while, the brothers repeating the word over and over until it seemed to lose all meaning, and I was laughing boisterously. "You guys-" I choked out, gasping for breath slightly. "Sound so weird."

Kili looked offended, _highly_ offended. "Well it's an absurd word anyway." He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, pouting and moping.

I suppressed a grin, "You just don't like that you can't say it properly… fiancé." I teased purposely antagonising him.

"No, I must admit it is rather peculiar Mimur. I'm not overly fond of it." Fili replied lips pursed, grimacing somewhat.

I sighed, "Well betrothed's fine… or I could just call you like… my husband-to-be or something. It's a silly French word anyway."

He grinned. "What exactly makes it silly?"

"Well… nothing but I could never spell it properly and that always bugged me."

With a loud bark of laughter Kili jumped up and headed off to spend time with the others, as I lay my head back on Fili's chest and watched everyone. The drinks were flowing and any time one was offered to me I shook my head frantically. After this morning I don't plan on feeling like that for a while yet.

* * *

><p>"Hey Fils?"<p>

"Hmm." He angled his head to look down at me as I peered up at him.

"What's the story of creation? I mean, I know the story where I'm from but I'm figuring it's different and you said it was your favourite." I shrugged lightly not really sure how else to explain why I was interested.

"You don't need to explain yourself Mimur. I'll just tell you." He said a grin tugging at his lips. "Mahal woman, when have you ever felt the need to justify yourself before?"

"Plenty of times." I replied as he shook his head smiling.

"Well don't, at least not for something so trivial."

I smiled back and then asked awkwardly "Can you tell me the story then?"

"Of course. The dwarves were created in ancient times by Aulë one of the Valar."

At my confused look he paused and I asked sheepishly, "What's the Valar?"

With a slight rumbling chuckle he replied. "The Valar are angelic powers which came into the world to complete its material development."

He waited patiently for me to process this before he continued, "Aulë was a smith, a craftsman and he wanted to teach his skills to the dwarves and the language he had created for them. He made Durin first and then six others, but he should not have. Eru had intended the Elves to be the first-born race and so he commanded that Aulë should put the dwarves to sleep until the elves had awoken. Eru also gave each of the dwarves their own souls, meaning they could exist as independent beings."

I shuffled around a little, getting more comfortable and snuggled further into Fili's side. "Because Eru had scolded Aulë for creating the dwarves Aulë was going to destroy them." He paused looking down at me with an adoring look on his face.

I understood he was probably enjoying watching me get so caught up in his story but because I was so caught up I got a little impatient. Eyes imploring I commented, "But he didn't obviously." As I ran a hand lightly over Fili's chest.

Fili smirked at my impatience. "_Obviously_. No he didn't destroy them, Eru stopped him from destroying the Dwarf Fathers because they now had their own souls. The dwarves are therefore Eru's adopted children. So Aulë laid the dwarves to rest in various places throughout Middle-Earth until the elves had awoken. Once the elves awoke, the dwarves awoke not long after. Durin, first of all."

I yawned, noticing that as Fili had been speaking it had gotten quite late, it was dark outside and the candles lighting the main room were dimming, casting a warm glow out that made me feel infinitely sleepy. The others had apparently trailed off to bed, leaving just Fili, Thorin and I.

"Mimur, you should rest if you are tired. We may not have time for such fulfilling rest soon." Fili stroked my hair as he spoke in a soft, gentle voice.

"I don't want to leave you." I replied, yawning once more and making my words come out rather distorted. "This is nice and…and when we leave here we could…" I gulped.

I gathered Fili understood the meaning of my unfinished sentence when his face turned grave.

"Mimur nothing is going to happen to either of us. Especially you, I intend on marrying you someday, as soon as we can possibly make it."

I sighed. "Fils you can't guarantee that."

"I know" He looked pained. "And that kills me, but Mimur, if all turns out the way I intend it too, then one day soon you won't have to leave me, one day soon we can share a bed and there will be no need to separate."

"I don't want to separate now."

Fili was just opening his mouth again to respond when Thorin's voice, low and steady cut across us. "Then don't."

"Thorin…" Fili began.

"Fili, as long as you can promise that there will be no…nothing improper happening. I assume you know of that which I speak, then I can allow it, just this once. No one will know."

_Oh my good god. Thorin is actually suggesting rule breaking, Thorin._

"Thorin although it is common for others you have instilled in Kili and I that a royal should never share a bed before matrimony, even if it is purely platonic." Fili seemed flummoxed by Thorin's suggestion as I was.

"I know the rules Fili, but I think, under the special circumstances…" He breathed in deeply making his chest push out so he looked even more in charge than before. "As I said, as long as there is no inappropriate behaviour, I think it could be considered alright. No one has to know and if anyone does notice well... I do not think the company will say anything against you."

Fili smiled gratefully as he shifted, gently moving so he could lift me. "Thank you." He said to his uncle, his words conveying a gratitude that almost brought tears to my eyes as he stood.

Thorin a small smile playing around his lips, nodded. "Sleep well."

With that Fili turned and began carrying me up the stairs.

* * *

><p>"Fils I can walk." I told him rubbing my face and feeling drained.<p>

"But you don't have to, so why bother." A soft smile settled on his face as he placed me on the bed.

I yawned as I sat up and stretched down to the bottom of the bed, retrieving my night clothes which consisted of a rather soft and baggy pair of men's breeches along with an equally soft and baggy man's shirt. I had specifically requested men's clothes as nightclothes when we decided to stay for a while. If anything should happen to make us leave early then I didn't intend on being in a dress for the rest of the journey. Especially not a night dress.

"I'll just…" Fili awkwardly retreated out of the bedroom so I could change.

When he returned, entering after a rather anxious knock and my assurance I was dressed, I was sitting on the bed waiting for him and it appeared he had changed as well. He was also in a thin baggy shirt and breeches. With a smile he closed the door softly and came to sit by me on the bed.

I rolled my eyes at him and scooted closer leaning into his warmth with a smile. Fili was never nervous, he was always so confident and sure of himself and that didn't change because we were in less clothing and sitting on a bed together. His face displaying another adorable soft smile he tugged me closer still until I was completely nuzzled into his side, wrapping one heavy, muscled arm around me. Then with the other hand he yanked at the blankets until they came free from underneath us and covered us with them.

"I love you." I sighed as I caressed his face, running a thumb over his beard and lightly fingering his moustache braid.

"As I love you." He skimmed a hand over my hair, it came to rest on my jaw and he gently tilted my head up before brushing his lips onto mine.

I couldn't control the small smile that tweaked my lips as we kissed. The butterflies fluttered in my stomach and my heart skipped a beat. Fili's lips were chapped and rough on mine but he was kissing me leisurely, gently, tenderly. It was probably the least aggressive, hurried and passionate kiss we'd shared yet and still no less affectionate for it.

As these things often do, it did progress though. He ran a loving hand up my side as he rolled over, covering my body with his own. I tangled one hand in his hair as his tongue swiped my bottom lip and my mouth opened, my own tongue meeting his. Another hand trailed up his chest and settled right over his heartbeat.

We were still kissing languidly. There was no rush to it. No sense of urgency, we were merely enjoying kissing. I'm not saying there was lack of desire but to be able to just spend time canoodling, to be able to just spend time touching in a close, intimate way was something exceptional in itself.

_I want to be closer._

With a slightly frustrated whine, I fisted my hand into Fili's shirt, trying my best not to give into the temptation of yanking it off. This however did escalate the kiss and Fili swung a leg over me until he was straddling my waist, then grasping the sides of my face with his rough but caring and devoted hands he bared down on me slightly, the kiss becoming a tad more fervent.

"Fils." I moaned, into the kiss, gripping even more tightly still to his shirt now really struggling not to remove it.

With a mighty groan, he wrenched himself upwards, the covers sliding down his back and coming to rest at his waist, until he was looking down at me and grasping the bottom edge, he jerked his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. I gasped, my mouth dropping open slightly and openly gawked as Fili ran a hand through his already tousled hair.

_Wow._

Fili was flawless. His chest heaved as he tried to get his breathing back under control and the dim candles flickering in the room gave a darker tone to his skin than I thought it would have in the light. His arms were impeccably toned and I could follow the contours of every muscle with my eyes.

_I thought Fili looked strong with his clothes on but that's nothing compared to how he looks now._

Slightly breathless myself, I trailed my eyes down his chest, which, much like his arms, was toned to perfection. There was a light smattering of chest hair on his pecs from which, came a snail trail leading all the way down to the edge of his breeches. The hair was blonde, the same tone as that on his head and looked just as soft, as if it was inviting me to raise my hand and touch him. Swallowing, I gently lifted my hand and trailed my fingers up from his abs to his pecs and over his shoulder, grasping onto him tenderly as the other hand wound its way up his arm, taking in the smoothness of his skin and the dips and rises in his muscles as it went. The hair on his chest was as soft as silk and he was radiating heat like the sun. As my fingers slid slowly and lightly over him, my eyes following their progress, his muscles twitched. I heard a gulp and looked up meeting Fili's eyes with my own, the desire and longing pooling there, barely restrained, made me drop my hands immediately, biting my lip.

"No." It came out in an odd rasp, a demanding, craving, thirsting, pining rasp I'd never heard before. One which was rather beseeching, almost pleading.

I swallowed thickly, my mouth dry as I lifted my hands and slowly returned them to his body, continuing to trail them over him as his eyes looked down at me, still locked on mine. Fili's hand fell from his hair and along with the other found its way to the edge of my shirt, his thick fingers wound the shirt into tight knots at the side as he bunched the material, playing with it while he watched me.

"I…" My voice was barely a whisper, it came out delicately but certain, a lilting quality to it. "If you want to you can."

I didn't need to tell him what I meant, it was clear from the way he shut his eyes tightly, gripping the ends of my shirt so forcefully I thought it might rip for a second, before he let his hands relax and his eyes fluttered open.

"I can't Mimur, I want to. _Mahal do I want to_, but I can't. Because if I do I don't think I could…"

I bobbed my head understandingly, turning it to the side as I looked up at him from adoring eyes. "Well then, come down here. I would quite like to cuddle you."

With a cheeky grin Fili lifted his leg off of me and flopped down onto my right side, I smiled lightly as I turned to lay my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around me, placing it over my waist and splaying a large hand on my stomach as my small one rested on his chest, my head lying on his shoulder.

I gave a yawn and placed a lingering peck to his bare skin.

"Get some rest Mimur." He murmured and that is the last thing I remember before drifting off into the most comfortable, restful and contented sleep of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Well I hope this lived up to all your expectations?<strong>

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! **

**Rue**


	32. The Shoe On The Other Foot

The sunlight streamed in through my window and blanketed itself directly across my face. My eyes opened squinting against the glare and I yawned holding a hand in front of my mouth. Stretching, I blinked sleep from my eyes and gazed aimlessly around. It was then I felt the heat seeping into my side and the soft yet firm pillow I was using moved, squashing me against it. I smiled to myself as I trailed a hand up Fili's bare chest and he mumbled in his sleep. I _never_ woke up before Fili. He was such an early bird.

_The early bird might get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese._

My firm belief that it was always better to be the second mouse was shattered as I peered up at my husband-to-be from under my thick eyelashes. He was adorable. Fili, before that moment, wasn't really someone I would have described as cute. But cute was most certainly the right word for how he looked that morning.

His golden hair was fanned out around him framing his face like an angel's halo, his beads on his braids giving slight glints of silver in the sunlight. His face was tilted down towards me, one half of his braided moustache resting on his delectable lips and he appeared so tranquil; peaceful, youthful and untroubled.

_If it's even possible, I think I just fell more deeply in love with him. _

Shuffling closer, I snuggled into his warmth, completely contented to just bask in the morning sunlight, holding him tightly to me as I placed delicate kisses over any part of his chest I could reach. I didn't think it was possible for the man to become any more endearing than when he was awake, but sleeping Fili proved me wrong in a heartbeat. I let my eyes drift slowly closed and just lay caressing up and down his chest with my fingertips completely absorbed in my thoughts.

_I am getting married. I am getting married to the most wonderful man in the entirety of any universe. First we just have to kill a dragon…a dragon. Well I'll be damned if a dragon is going to get in the way of my happy ending. I need to start being positive, we will all survive, because we have to. Because these people are so important to me I don't know what I'd do without them. … Not even Bifur… even though I don't understand a word he says and for all I know he could hate my guts. We will survive if I have any say in it at all because I will do anything in my power to take care of the people I love. _

Feeling rather upbeat about the rest of our journey, more upbeat than I probably should of; I decided it would be a good idea to get moving. The best thing we could do with the time we had left in Laketown was to spend as much time together as possible, and become the best prepared we possibly could.

Obviously, I did not realise how problematic it could be to attempt escape from a sleeping, overprotective dwarf.

Trying to sit up, which was my first course of action, just resulted in me being clutched securely against his chest, practically on top of him and almost smothered. With a huff I poked my arms out and reached for the side of the bed, it was a stretch too because Fili is a hell of a lot broader than I am. Extending so far I almost felt like I was going to dislocate my shoulders I managed to get my hands flat on the bed and tried to pull myself up Fili's body to squeeze out from his grip. Suffice to say, it didn't work. All I really succeeded in doing was rubbing and grinding my body against his with such a force that it made my face flush for two reasons; one because I was exerting copious amounts of energy and two because I could feel a part of Fili, a part I'd only ever brushed against once before, was very much _awake_. With a slight puff of exertion I decided on a new tactic. I wriggled and squirmed around in his brawny, powerful arms trying in vain to loosen their hold on me. Once again I failed miserably.

Now feeling, hot, sweaty and decidedly worn out, I flopped against his chest. This was just not working.

_I'll try once more._

After catching my breath and building up my energy again, I began struggling and writhing. The concentrated look I could feel on my face, brows knit together as if I was trying to solve a particularly hard riddle, evaporated as Fili cracked one eye open which shinned with mirth, even from underneath the thin cloud of sleep.

"What _exactly _are you trying to do?" The joviality showed in his gravelly morning voice as an impish grin tugged at his lips.

I blushed looking up at him in the most innocent way I could as I answered "Nothing."

He quirked an eyebrow as his other eye opened.

"Okay, okay." I gave in, surrendering. He could read me so well it was rather pointless to play the innocent card in the first place. "I was trying to get up, so if you could just let go… that would be fantastic." I flashed him an award winning smile.

"Now why would I want to do that?" He replied teasingly as he tensed his arms around me; squeezing me slightly, before relaxing them again.

"Fils…" I moaned. "It's morning we have to get up."

"Hmmm…." Looking thoughtful for a few seconds he finally decided, "Nope I don't think we do. _In fact_ I rather like you just here thanks."

Pouting I put on my best puppy dog eyes. "Please?" I whined, "I'm getting really _hungry_."

"Oh come on Mimur that's no' fair!" He exclaimed with a groan. "Don't give me that look!"

I stuck out my bottom lip a bit further and fluttered my eyelids.

"Fine." With a huff he surveyed me for a second, "But it'll cost you."

"Name your price." My voice was playful as I narrowed my eyes at him; I was rather enjoying this little game.

He pretended to think long and hard for a few seconds, scrunching up his face and making his nose crinkle in an _undoubtedly_ cute manner. "I want… a kiss…" Securing me with one arm he removed the other and lifted it to tap his finger against his lips, "…right here."

I couldn't fight the grin that broke out across my face, "Rather high price don't you think?"

"Not at all, but if you don't want breakfast that's fine too!" He swung his arm back down and wrapped it around me again, throwing his head onto the pillow and closing his eyes.

"Fils!" I let out a delighted giggle, "Let me go!" Wriggling good-humouredly I glanced up to see he'd just stuck his lips forward, in a sort of 'duck-face' look, and was waiting pointedly yet patiently for a kiss.

With a breathy chuckle I scooted further up his chest until I could reach his lips and brushed them lightly with my own.

When I pulled up his eyes snapped open. "What was that?!" He sounded delightfully distressed.

"That was your kiss; you never specified what type of kiss it had to be."

With a growl he rolled over so I was pinned beneath him, in a firm, throaty voice he ground-out, "Now I'm specifying." And crashed his lips to my own

The adoration, passion and pure playful nature of the kiss had my toes curling.

_Dear god what did I do to deserve this man?_

His arms were down by my sides, encasing me and supporting him as his fingers tugged gently at the bottom of my hair, and my hands cupped his broad shoulders, my fingers kneading and scratching at the soft flesh on display.

When we were completely out of breath, we broke apart. My lips were parted slightly and felt hot and swollen as I gazed up at him. Chest heaving, Fili grinned cheekily, "Now that's more like it."

"I think…" I puffed, "That's surely enough payment to get you to brush my hair again right?" Winking mischievously I toyed with one of the braids in his hair, coiling it around my finger.

"I don't know." The impish grin was back again, "I think I might need one more for that, magic hands don't come cheap you know." He informed me matter-of-factly.

Rolling my eyes I raised up so my lips could meet his once more.

* * *

><p>When we finally joined everyone at the breakfast table, hand in hand, Kili gave me a knowing smile.<p>

_Little shit._

Thorin bid us both good morning with everyone else but didn't give anything away. For someone so attached to rules; he sure was good at breaking them. We decided that considering we only had two days left in Laketown it would be prudent to start getting ready for our journey and as Thorin was handing out jobs I knew I'd drawn the short straw when I ended up with Kili.

"Really?!" I exclaimed, looking towards my future brother-in-law, who, was practically foaming at the mouth and bouncing like a bunny rabbit from the excitement of being allowed to help out again. "Why can't I go with Fili?!"

"As the oldest heir and future King, Fili must accompany me to talk business with the Master of Laketown." Thorin replied a lot calmer than I thought he would be at my questioning his authority but then again, he was also eyeing his nephew as if he might explode any minute so I gathered he understood my issues.

"You just had to be the oldest didn't you?" I fixed Fili with a half-hearted glare as Kili threw his arm around my shoulders and yanked me towards the door with a wide grin.

"Come on sister it'll be fun."

* * *

><p><em>Just shoot me. Honestly, just shoot me, it's fine, deaths cool. <em>

Let me make one thing perfectly clear, there is _nothing_ about trying to get a job done with an overexcited Kili that can be described as even remotely _fun_. What it actually is, is really good babysitting practice.

We had one job, pick up more packs from the market and any extra supplies on the lists such as food, clothing various company members had tailor made and any weapons we didn't yet possess. It shouldn't have been hard. However, Kili, who hadn't had the chance to look around yet, was darting around like an over-zealous hamster on speed.

"Kils will you _please_ calm down and come help me with this list?!" I was becoming quite exasperated with him if you couldn't already tell.

"I don't know…" A sly smirk made its way onto his face as he sidled up to me. "Would you like to explain why my brother was nowhere to be found this morning hmm?"

I gulped and, giving him a shifty look, continued picking the vegetables off the stall I was currently stood in front of, putting all those which were on Bombur's list into the packs we'd picked up. It made sense to carry it all back like that and then sort it all out at the house.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Kili's grin widened, "Perhaps then, a simpler question might be as to inquire to the condition of your precious purity on this fine morning?"

"Still intact thank you!" I answered snottily.

Kili laughed loudly as he _finally_ began to help me. "Well, just don't let Uncle know where Fili rested last night."

"Thorin is the one that suggest-" I slapped a hand over my mouth as Kili whooped in triumph.

"I knew it! But you were well behaved you say? Good on you! Even if it does bring my brothers sanity into question…" He trailed off.

"Perhaps he was being responsible." I shot back with a death glare.

"Perhaps." The sly grin was back and with it the conversation ended.

Thankfully it meant we were finally able to get on with our shopping and I found I rather enjoyed spending time with my boisterous soon to be brother-in-law. He was my best friend after all and having him back in high-spirits meant that his mood was catching.

* * *

><p>The next day and a half was filled with vigorous training and fretful packing. We had all settled into our little Laketown stopover perhaps slightly too well. The night before we were due to leave I decided to get yet another early night.<p>

This was something I'd been doing constantly since the night Fili stayed with me. I found if I went to bed before he did, I could fall asleep pretending that he was going to be joining me later and wake up pretending he'd just risen early. It wasn't perfect, his side of the bed was ice cold and I slept a lot more restlessly without him, but it was working.

"Goodnight." I said giving Fili a chaste kiss on the lips and waving to the others. "First light yeah?" I asked Thorin.

_It'll kill me but it's so important we leave on time. _

"Indeed, if you are not up I will have someone awaken you."

I softly smiled, "Thanks."

Plodding up the stairs I found myself quite irritated that this was going to be the last night I got to spend in pyjamas and a bed. I had become quite fond of my creature comforts again and it was going to be torture getting used to the lack of them once more.

_At least we'll have ponies and not be on foot all the bloody time again!_

That seemed to be the one upside. When Thorin had told the Master we'd be staying a week, the Master had hurriedly arranged for people to go out with ponies to the other side of the lake and wait for us to collect them. If the timing was right, which it should be, we should arrive at the same time as the pony men. Crossing the lake was going to take two days at least in the boats and I was rather trying to keep my mind off how to stop my bladder exploding in that time.

I did eventually fall into a light sleep but I blinked awake again what felt like just a few hours later. Deciding I probably needed to pee, I headed downstairs to the toilet, creeping as quietly as possible thinking everyone else was in bed.

_The last thing I need is to wake them all up on the eve of a massive… what?_

A frown marred my features as I noticed a low, flickering candlelight sidling around the sitting room door. Quite as a mouse I sneaked up to the door and my ears caught the low murmur of deep voices.

"Are you sure?"

"I think it's for the best."

"She's not going to like it."

"You can't be serious?!" Bilbo's exclamation was met with a lot of frightened shushing noises and silence descended upon the room.

I held my breath. It might have been rude to eavesdrop, but it was also rude to talk about someone behind their back. After a few tense moments the conversation began again in whispers.

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I."

"Look it's a hard decision for the lad to make but it's his decision."

"Who says it's his decision? Do you not listen to a word Zalia says?"

From the sounds of it, Bombur, Bofur, Balin, Ori and Bilbo were on my side. However this left, Gloin, Oin, Kili, Thorin, Dwalin, Nori and Dori not on my side.

I assumed Fili was the lad they spoke of and I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of working out what Bifur was saying.

"Fili I really don't think we should leave her behind. Especially without telling her!" As Bofur spoke I breathed in sharply, feeling tears pooling in my eyes.

_He wants to leave me here? Why? What did I do?_

The frustration and strain was rife in Fili's voice and for a second I pitied him. "What kind of person would I be if I let the love of my life come anywhere near a dragon?! We can send for her when it's safe." There was a harsh note of finality in his tone which had me clenching my teeth to stop my jaw from quivering.

_That kind of makes sense._ The rational part of my brain registered Fili's concern before the hurt, angry part pushed it away.

"How do you think Zai's going to feel waking up to find we're all gone?! I will _not_ be a part of this!" As Bilbo's footsteps slapped against the floor I quickly hid, ducking down behind a rather large chest. "In fact I'm going to go and wake her so she can put an end to this nonsense right now! I said I wouldn't go without her and I _meant_ it!"

Quick as a flash Fili had dived out of the door after Bilbo and grabbed him by the arm, holding him roughly as Bilbo squirmed to get out of his grip.

"Bilbo Baggins you are my friend. But if you tell her I will have no problem gutting you like a fish." The look in Fili's eyes actually made me gulp in tandem with Bilbo. Fili looked like a warrior, a wild, untamed warrior.

"Fee," Kili slipped from the room as well making me press myself closer to the floor. "Let him go, come on." With a disgusted look Fili eventually dropped Bilbo who landed awkwardly and caught my eye. He looked utterly shocked.

I pressed a desperate finger to my lips and Bilbo's eyes receded to their normal size as he gave me a quick nod.

"You stay with us tonight. You're not telling her anything." Fili marched back into the room and Kili sighed.

He bent down and wrapped his arms around Bilbo to help him up. "He doesn't mean it. Fee just really loves her and the thought of her being in danger, it scares him. Even if he can't admit that. I think it rocks him to the core."

Bilbo's gruff response was, I felt, for my benefit only, "I doubt Zai will see it like that."

Kili exhaled loudly, his brows knit together. "No I doubt she will. It's in Fee's nature to protect her. It's in all dwarves nature. That doesn't excuse it… but it at least allows me to understand it. Women only ever fight in dire need after much trouble proving themselves. We're fiercely protective of them, a trait which can cause immeasurable problems on the battlefield. And most don't want to; they don't feel it's their place."

Bilbo fixed Kili with a heated stare. "Zai isn't most women. She wasn't brought up with your ways. She likes her independence. I've seen her trying to adjust for him, where exactly is he adjusting for her?"

"Hey! He-"

Cutting Kili off Bilbo continued, "No, Kili, he's not. He is just not accepting Zai's feelings about all this matter. Her opinions count. Whether he likes it or not." And with that Bilbo stomped back into the sitting room.

Kili stood for a few seconds, regaining composure after being bested by the hobbit, and then with a huff, tousling his hair he also followed the others.

I took this as my opportunity to slip away, when I got back to my room, my mind was set.

_Fili might think he's getting away with this, but he is not. And when I confront him, there will be hell to pay._

* * *

><p>I didn't sleep. Not for the whole night. I got into my travelling clothes and then when I heard the others beginning to move around, I slipped under the covers. They pulled right up to my chin and I forced my breathing to even out, just in case anyone came to check on me. This turned out to be the right thing to do.<p>

A few minutes after I'd huddled under the covers I heard the slight squeak of the door opening and heavy footsteps treading across the floor, before a spot on the bed next to me dipped down and a rough hand stroked the hair back from my face. Running a finger down the large pale scar I'd acquired from the goblin tunnels Fili's deep voice rumbled and reverberated around the room as he began to speak.

"I'm sorry Mimur. I'm so, so sorry. And even though you can't hear me I couldn't leave without telling you, I love you and I will return for you. Come hell or high water I swear it. I'm doing this to protect you. I just hope you understand." I felt chapped lips brush my forehead and warm breath ghost across my face.

"Fee…" Kili sounded pained. "It's time to go."

Fili sighed, and with one more kiss to my forehead and another heavy sigh, the weight lifted from my bed and I heard the footsteps leaving the room before the door closed with a snap.

Instantly I was on my feet. I threw the covers from my body and ran to the window, flinging it open I climbed out, using the trellis as a ladder.

_Honestly teenagers must not sneak out much in Middle Earth._

The escape plan was so simple, I waited at the side of the house until I saw the dwarves and a very nervous looking Bilbo leaving, and then ran down a side alleyway which Bard had taken me down the night he brought me home. I made it to the boats a good ten minutes before the company and I settled into a side street to wait for them.

This was unfortunately not good for me. I had had plenty of time to stew on my anger the previous night and by God had I been furious at Fili, now though, I was just upset. I was hurt he hadn't really thought through how I'd feel about being left behind, and I realised with a heavy heart that being hurt stung more than being angry. Never mind the fact that I could understand his perspective somewhat. I felt it might have been easier to stay pissed off if I didn't.

When the dwarves rounded the corner, just before they were about to reach my street I stepped out, eyes hard arms crossed firmly over my chest.

"Hi guys, forget something?" I sounded downright vicious.

Fili was the first to meet my eyes, "Mimur I-"

"Don't!" I cut him off sharply, pointing my hand and taking a deep breath, clenching and unclenching the hand, voice shaking. "Just don't."

After a few seconds of silence which helped me regain a little of my composure I swallowed thickly before meeting his eyes again. "What _exactly_ did you think would happen when I woke up and everyone had _gone_? What was I meant to do? How in the _hell_ was I supposed to stay here with no money and no food, nothing but the clothes on my _back_? And how was I meant to feel when I realised you had _abandoned_ me? _You _of all people Fili?"

He didn't say anything. I don't think he quite knew what to say. Actually he looked slightly flabbergasted.

_Then again, I did just catch him red handed._

Kili stepped in on his brothers behalf. "Zai you have to understand-"

"NO!" I cut him off with a booming voice, feeling like I was a flame roaring, and stepped closer to him practically hissing. "I don't have to understand _anything_. I've never felt so furious in my whole life. Never." I let that sink in for a few seconds. "And worst of all I've never been so _hurt_."

Kili gulped. Thorin was the next to try and placate me. "Zalia-"

I swung towards him, still reeling with fury and trying to hold back tears. "As for _you_, Thorin Oakenshield!" _Man, it felt good to be able to use his last name for emphasis._ "I expected a lot better of you. You decided I was coming on this quest. _You did_. And now you just think it's fine to abandon me?!" I practically spat the last words. "It's not."

"Mimur we weren't abandoning you I-"

My glare must have been pretty heated to silence Fili. "Oh no?" I asked beginning to sound slightly hysterical. "Then what were you doing? Because I don't really see it as anything else! How exactly was I supposed to know if anything happened to you? How was I supposed to feel?! _I trusted you Fili!_" Now I was crying.

I could feel the hot tears coursing down my face and as Fili stepped towards me, I stepped back.

"No you don't get to comfort me. It's _because_ of you I feel like I've been ripped into a thousand tiny pieces so the _last_ thing you get to do is comfort me."

I almost felt guilty at the stab of pain that appeared on Fili's face.

"Zai that's not fair." Kili stepped in front of his brother.

"No Kili that's _perfectly_ fair. And for that matter I don't know where someone who can lecture me on hurting _his_ feelings," I jabbed a finger in Fili's direction. "Gets off telling me it's not fair to be hurt when he _destroyed_ mine."

I took a few calming breaths and irately swiped the tears off my cheeks.

"But you know." I continued in a low tone. "If you want to go then go, I wouldn't want to feel unwelcome." Taking a deep breath I turned and looked Fili straight in the eyes. "But when you come back…" He breathed in deeply. "Don't come looking for me."

And with that I pushed my way through the dwarves and started to walk. I didn't know where I was walking to and quite frankly, I didn't care.

* * *

><p>"Mimur…" Fili went to start after Zalia.<p>

Guilt ridden and feeling as if he had just torn out his own heart, ripped it into little pieces and trodden on it. Kili held him by the arm. Fili couldn't be quite sure if he was going to hit his knees or if he was going to chase after her. When he'd decided to leave her in Laketown he'd thought she'd be safe. He never thought about all the things she'd brought up. It was only her safety he had in mind and now he could have just lost the most important person in the world to him. All because he couldn't do for her, what she had been trying to do for him. He didn't even _think_ about how this would feel from Zalia's perspective and he didn't consider her independent nature. He just wanted her to be safe. He finally knew how she must have felt when she thought she was doing the right thing and something went askew and upset him, because the shoe was now well and truly on the other foot.

"We cannot leave now." Balin told Thorin, looking about as pained as everyone else in the company. "Certainly not like this."

Thorin himself looked like he was hurting and it was with a stiff neck that he nodded.

"I'll find her." Bilbo piped up. "I'll find her, she'll come with us, I know she will."

"We will all look." Thorin's words elicited grim nods and then the dwarves were thrown into action.

* * *

><p>I stopped in an alleyway, sitting down and just hugging my knees to my chest. I'd been harsh to Fili, I knew I had, but the pain in my heart hurt too.<p>

"Zalia?"

I looked up out of red-rimmed eyes and saw Bard looking down at me quizzically.

"Hi." I whispered voice hoarse.

He sat down next to me frowning, "What's happened?"

"They were going to leave me behind." I sobbed, unable to stop myself.

* * *

><p>When Bofur saw Zalia sitting with Bard in a dirty alleyway his heart soared. Running back through the town he managed to find everyone and round them up. They made it to the opening of the alleyway just in time to see Zalia stop sobbing.<p>

As Bofur glanced at Fili it was clear to see the lad's heart was breaking, fragmenting with every gasp for air the lass let out.

* * *

><p>To his credit, Bard didn't say a word. He merely wrapped his arm around my shoulders in a comforting manner and let me cry.<p>

"Why?" He asked when I'd finally managed to get my breathing under control.

"I don't know. Probably because I'd be safer here or something. It's like I'm supposed to be alright with this but, how can I be? If you know please tell me how I'm meant to feel because swinging between, angry, upset and guilty really isn't working for me." I clutched tightly to the 'Z' necklace Fili had given me just a few days before.

Bard breathed in and held it for a few seconds before he replied. "Why guilty?"

"I said some awful things to them. I told Fili they should leave and he shouldn't come looking for me."

Bard's eyebrows quirked and his eyes widened. "You didn't mean that." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

Still I felt as if I needed to answer. "No I didn't. I can't… I can't imagine…"

"You would follow that man to the ends of the Earth, because you can't imagine life without him." I jerked my head up shocked Bard had been so dead on.

"How did you-?"

"It is what I would have done for my wife; you love him, just as I loved her. It is clear when you look at each other." I swallowed and nodded, wiping my eyes of tears once again. "And you will go with them, because you couldn't bear to think of anything happening to any of them if you didn't. It's going to take a while for you to be okay with all of them again. But you will be. I know you will, because you're angry on principal really. You're angry he didn't ask you how you felt. You are not angry about what he did."

I just stared at Bard as he spoke and when I didn't say anything he continued. "You strike me as someone who can hold a grudge, but not against those dear to you. And you understand why they all agreed, you just don't like it. I'm not saying it's not going to take a while, but you will feel better. You will forgive them. And hey, the boats across the lake are a two night, three day trip. I'm sure you'll have time to heal."

My tongue darted out and licked my lips. "How did you know exactly what to say to make me feel better?" I asked.

"Easy." Bard grinned. "I have two daughters."

With a laugh I stood at the same time as Bard.

"If I never see you again, I just want to say thanks. You put my head back right where it needs to be. And that means more than you could ever know. I just… If we meet again I owe you one." I finished with a smile.

"There are no favours between friends." And with a grin Bard nodded behind me. "I believe your company is waiting."

* * *

><p>Not really feeling up to talking I walked silently to the boats. The fanfare that the people of Laketown put on was immense.<p>

As we I tried to step into a boat Fili grabbed me by the arm. "Mimur I-"

"Fili don't, please. I have nothing to say to you right now. This time you fucked up, and I need to fix myself before I can fix this." With a quick gesture between us I tugged my arm from his grasp and stepped into the second boat. He followed me.

The Master waved us off with some words about good fortune but I didn't really hear them, my priorities were lying slightly askew. If anything this journey was good for arguments. I just hoped that we could reclaim Erebor and things would settle down.

One thing was for certain. We were definitely on our way again.

* * *

><p><strong>So thoughts? They're off again!<strong>

**And I'm so sorry they argued, but come on! Fili is so protective there's no way that wasn't going to happen. **

**I've got the next chapter practically written but it probably won't be out until tomorrow now.**

**Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews. **

**Rue**


	33. Change and Tradition

I didn't sleep at all that first night on the boats. Not one jot. I barely spoke at all, only to say please and thank you when I was passed cold food like sandwiches and fruit. Fili seemed just as down. On the second night I fell into a fretful sleep, I had barely caught a wink when I felt a poke in the side.

"Zai." Bilbo hissed. "Zai are you awake?"

"I am now. Whatta you want?" I asked rubbing my eyes sleepily.

"I'm nervous."

He _looked_ nervous. In fact he _looked_ sick. I think it had finally started to settle over Bilbo that soon he would be entering a mountain and when he entered the mountain he was likely to come face to face with a dragon.

"Oh Bilbo, come here." I threw an arm out to my side and he shuffled around nervously.

"But Fili…" He whispered.

I looked down the boat. Bifur and Bofur were rowing ours while Fili, Kili, Bombur and Gloin slept. Dwalin and Thorin were rowing the other, while Dori, Nori, Ori, Balin and Oin slept.

"Fuck Fili at the moment to be honest." I replied and with a sigh Bilbo laid his head on my chest.

"I don't know if I can do this." He sounded so terrified. "What if-"

"Bilbo Baggins nothing bad is going to happen to you. And sitting up worrying about it is not going to help." I tried to replicate the stern voice my dad used to use with me.

"I know. But I can't sleep…" He sighed. "Talk to me about something."

"What?"

"I don't know anything." He looked so desperate I couldn't deny him.

"Okay well, when I was younger there was me, my mother and my father. My grams didn't live too far away, that was my father's mother. Then when I was about seven my mother left, she'd been having an affair with this really rich snobby dude, and she just packed up one day and left to marry him." I frowned, the memories swirling in my mind. "My dad was devastated and to top it all when I was ten my grams died."

"What happened then?" Bilbo was sounding sleepier by the second.

"Well the guy's name was Chris. I had to go and spend weekends there for a while. He had four kids, Luke is five years older than me, he's my step-brother, and he's alright really. Then there's Perri she's my step-sister, one year older than me and a complete bitch. Then the twins Jake and Nathan, also my step-brothers, they were quite moody; they're five years younger than me. Lastly Chris and my mother had a little boy; he'd be twelve now… his name is George." I stopped talking.

I could have sworn I saw the dwarves in our boat and in the other moving around to listen.

"Anyways. When I was roughly fifteen, my mother told me that me and my father were the biggest mistakes of her life and that she didn't know what she was thinking, she wished we'd never happened. I didn't go back again to visit and she never came to see me. Luke, Jake and Nathan used to come and see me sometimes, now and again they'd bring George. He was a total cutie. But Perri used to come round just to make me feel shitty about myself. Especially considering they were filthy rich and dad and I could barely keep a roof over our heads." I looked down at Bilbo, he was watching me wide-eyed. "I didn't really ever have a proper family…Until I met all of you."

Bilbo clasped his hand around mine. "I like to think that my brother and step-brothers would miss me. But I doubt it. They love me because they have to. Not just because they love me like you guys."

"That's quite sad." Bilbo often came out with the most ridiculously obvious statements.

I smiled despite myself. "Yeah I suppose it is... I don't really mind though. I never needed anyone except dad really." Bilbo watched me, shuffling slightly as I sighed. "You're meant to be going to sleep!"

"When I was younger," He said voice low, "My mother used to sing to me. But I used to lie awake for hours singing along."

I grinned at him, chuckling slightly. "Well then, I'll just have to sing you something you can't understand." And dropping a kiss on his forehead as he snuggled down I sang A La Nanita. It was a song by the Cheetah Girls from the Disney Channel. But I was reasonably confident that Bilbo didn't know Spanish.

When he finally dropped off, I realised I was right.

_This is ridiculous. Bilbo can go in to face a dragon alone and I can't even fix things with Fili even though it's tearing us both to pieces and I'm distancing myself from the only proper family I've had because they wanted to protect me. _

With my priorities set straight by the hobbit once again, however unintentionally, I shuffled down the boat and lay next to Fili, snuggling as close as I could into his side.

"Mimur I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, and I will do everything in my power to prove it. I promise I won't ever be so thoughtless again."

I jerked. "I thought you were asleep."

His sad eyes rested on mine and I frowned. "I'm sorry too Fils I really am, I know why you did it and I shouldn't have been so harsh. I would have been devastated if you didn't come back for me."

"I would have come back for you anyway." He shifted slightly.

"I suspected as much." I replied with a grin, before turning serious once more. "Honestly though Fils if you ever try to take away my choices again… I don't think I could…"

A serious look passed across his face and he nodded stiffly. "I am not promising that it won't be an adjustment, I am not promising that I won't try to change your mind and I am not promising that in life threatening situations I won't make decisions that you might not agree with… but.." He sighed heavily. "Mimur, I never want to see you like that again. I never want you to feel like that again. Certainly not because of me."

I replied in a hard tone, "Then you know the answer don't you?"

He nodded, "I do." He said gravely, and I grinned.

Fili, sensing that we were okay once again ran a rough hand down the scar on my face and across my lips. "_Mahal_. Mimur you're freezing." Lifting his arm he pulled me as close to him as I could possibly be, wrapping his own coat around me and tugging both our blankets over us.

"Let's not fight again." I snorted at the same time as he chuckled. "Sorry, stupid statement. Let's always make up." I corrected myself.

"Always." He murmured placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"_Finally!_ And us? Can we always make up?" Kili, was awake also, apparently.

As everyone's heads lifted I realised the bastards, in _both _boats, had been pretending all along.

"Yeah Kils." I gave his hand a brief squeeze and nodded at the others before I laid my head on Fili's chest and wrapped my arm around his waist. "But none of you should expect it to be this easy when fear of death is gone! I will make you grovel for days when we're somewhere safe and this happens."

As the dwarves all chortled to themselves I finally felt, whole and contented again. For the first time in two days I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next day I woke up to splashes. I groggily opened my eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them to see Bifur, Kili and Bofur tugging our boat onto the shore. It appeared the others had already landed their boat and were climbing out.<p>

I let out a huge yawn and covered my hand with my mouth. I didn't quite realise how tired I'd been.

"Good afternoon sleepy head." Fili smiled down at me with an adoring grin and offered his hand to help me up.

"Afternoon." I muttered as I clasped his hand in my own and allowed him to help pull me up.

When I was on my feet, I stretched making my back pop. Sleeping in a boat wasn't the most comfortable situation to be in at all. I tugged my fingers through my messy, wind-swept hair as Fili and Bilbo jumped out of the boat. Bombur, with more grace than I thought possible, hopped out after them; and I roughly shouldered my pack as I followed. Thorin was already talking to the men from Laketown and swapping the ponies for our boats by the looks of it.

_Man it feels nice to be on dry land again._

For someone who's known to not be the best swimmer in the world, it certainly felt comforting to know if I tripped now I'd hit the floor and not drown.

Stretching my legs for the first time in days I strolled over to the others who had, by the looks of things, just about finished loading up the ponies.

"I think it would be wise to set off immediately." Thorin announced just as I reached the group. "We follow the river and if we're lucky we'll be able to set up camp for the night once we are half-way to Dale."

Nobody argued with this plan so I surmised it must be a good one. Bilbo and I didn't really have any proper concept of where everything was so we were just relying on the others to tell us if Thorin suggested anything stupid. Everybody began to mount their ponies except Fili and I.

"Who would you like to ride with Mimur?"

I swear to God I almost had a heart attack.

Eyes wide I turned to face Fili. "What?"

He swallowed looking as if he was forcing himself to eat something very unpleasant and repeated, "Who would you like to ride with?"

"I…um…really?!" To say I was shocked would be a massive understatement. I was actually, practically floored.

Fili had never asked who I wanted to ride with. Not since we'd left The Shire. I'd just always ridden with him. Even when we'd walked we'd been together practically twenty four seven.

Shrugging Fili answered, sounding a little unsure of himself for what must have been the first time in his life, "Sure I mean… I said I'd… you… well, it's up to you to choose these things isn't it?" By this point he was looking very uncertain indeed. "I mean, independence and-"

He was cut off as I launched myself at him, standing on tip-toes and wrapped my arms around his neck practically suffocating the poor bloke.

"Thank you." I whispered against his neck.

_It might not be much, but it's a start._

He hugged me back, rather awkwardly as if he didn't know what was appropriate and what wasn't.

"I think…" I proclaimed as I stepped back, lovingly letting his courting braid run through my fingers. "I think I'll ride with-"

"Oh! Me! Me!" Kili forced his arm up as high as it would go as he bounced around excitedly on his pony, _poor creature_.

"Don't be silly we all know the lass wants to ride with me!" Bofur announced.

"I think you'll find she wants to ride with me." Dwalin cut in.

"No lads, it's most certainly me she'll be picking." Gloin it seemed also wanted me to ride with him.

"Zai?" Kili asked, head whipping to face me as the company got more and more irate with each other about who I was going to choose.

"I _think_…" I announced loudly. "I'll ride with Bifur."

Bilbo and Thorin laughed loudly, the laughter booming from them, at the looks on the faces of the company. It seemed no one could possibly understand why I might chose to ride with Bifur. Except Bifur himself, he shouted something loudly in Khuzdul which, (although I didn't understand the words), sounded in the tone, suspiciously like 'I told you so'.

With a hearty laugh I skipped over to Bifur's pony and, for the first time ever, managed to mount it without any help.

"Oh my god! I actually _freaking_ did it!" I exclaimed happily.

The company all gave me sarcastic claps, to which I rolled my eyes, and then once Fili had mounted his pony. We were off.

* * *

><p>Riding with Bifur, I decided, was weird.<p>

It was a nice sort of weird, it made a change, but considering I'd got so used to riding with Fili, which meant we normally had Kili milling around making jokes and what not, it was weird to ride with someone I couldn't even hold a conversation with.

I liked Bifur though. He was amusing in his own way, and decidedly sarcastic, if the looks he gave the others were anything to go by. Plus it was different, a good different. Fili letting me have my own space and cooling-off a little so I could make my own choices gave me ample opportunity to get to know the rest of the company.

_Maybe they didn't want to intrude when I was with Fili… that means I've been shutting them out however unintentionally, how awful._

Dwalin and Balin joked around, telling me about their childhood and Bofur and Bombur were telling me about how Bifur had been before the axe. From what I could gather, he'd been quite like me. Still was, except now he was a lot quieter, and that was why he liked me so much apparently.

To think Bifur actually liked me was funny. It wasn't that I ever thought he'd disliked me, but it's different to assume something and know something and it was never anything I'd bothered to ask before. It seemed in fact, that Bifur had been one of the few to take my side in every argument, _immediately_.

Gloin rode up and spent a bit of time talking to me about his wife and son, Gimli. Listening to Gloin talk about him was confusing. It was hard to keep it in my head that Gimli was actually older than me, not in dwarf years but he'd lived longer. Plus, he would be fully grown like Fili and Kili and not the little boy Gloin made me imagine, running around scraping the floor of their halls with his father's axe.

I shot my hand out and grasped Nori around the wrist just as he was about to remove my new pouch of pipe tobacco from my pocket. "Try it again." I said sternly. "And I'll break your wrist."

"Oh come on Zai! I didn't think to pick any up and you got loads!" Nori whined while his brothers rode along behind him chuckling.

"Well then ask you little sneak thief!" I retorted taking the pouch from my pocket. "Please Zai could I have some pipe tobacco?" I imitated a polite voice, before returning back to a hard tone, "…maybe try that!"

"Please Zai could I have some pipe tobacco?" Nori repeated sounding very sullen indeed.

"Sure here you go Nori." I threw him the pouch as I replied in a bright cheery tone, before lowering my voice once more. "And for that matter Mister, I never did talk to you about the things you took from Rivendell. What are you a kleptomaniac or something?"

He frowned at me. "What's a kleptomaniac?"

"A kleptomaniac is someone who has an intense urge to steal things for no reason other than to steal them. Like, you might steal little things but not for personal use or financial gain... I don't know, it's more complicated than that but…" I trailed off with a shrug.

"Sounds about right!" Dori piped up from somewhere behind us.

"Yes that's Nori alright!" Ori piped in.

Nori sighed and then pulled his pony up until he was level with his brothers, I just caught his sarcastic, "Did I ever tell you guys how much I love you?" as Bifur poked me on the arm.

"Hmm?" I mumbled tilting my head back to look up at him. "What?"

He looked pointedly at his hands and I followed his gaze. Once my eyes were pointed to where he wanted them, he made a funny little sign.

I frowned. "Bifur mate, what even was that?"

"Iglishmêk." He grunted.

"Iggy- what now?" As I quirked an eyebrow he gestured Bofur over.

"Iglishmêk." He grunted again, making the same sign with his hands as before.

Bofur nodded smiling and then turned to me to explain. "The Iglishmêk is a sign language we all learn as children. If you're a smithy or a miner it can be hard to hear and so it's sometimes an easier way to communicate."

_That actually makes perfect sense._

"And am I allowed to know about what I'm presuming is another secret dwarven thing?"

Bofur shrugged.

"Hey Thorin!" I yelled forwards making Thorin look back and the whole companies eyes come to rest on me.

"Yes Zalia?"

"Am I allowed to know about this secret Iglishmêk.." I struggled with the word grasping a hand to my throat. Coughing slightly I finally continued. "…thing you guys have got going on?"

The dwarves chuckled at me while Bilbo just looked puzzled, "Jesus how do you guys say words like that?!" I asked. "I think I just ripped my vocal chords."

This, of course, brought on another round of raucous laughter. Before Thorin finally answered, "Of course Zalia, you're one of us aren't you?"

"Well… yeah." I pursed my lips slightly. "But I'm presuming it's not just something you go around teaching every Tom, Dick and Harry."

"Who are Tom, Dick and Harry?" Ori asked in the most adorable confused tone.

"No one Ori, it's just, they're common names where I come from so people say that to mean everyone. Like I could have said I'm presuming it's not something you go around teaching just anyone."

Ori nodded and Thorin's voice became low and serious as he pulled his pony to a halt, effectively stopping the company. "But you are not just anyone Zalia, you are betrothed to the future king under the mountain, one day you will be queen."

I gulped. "Bloody hell, don't say that sort of thing I can barely make my own decisions!"

With a laugh Thorin dismounted his pony. "We camp here!"

* * *

><p>After everyone had set up camp and had a hearty stew, courtesy of Bombur, Bifur sat by the fire with me trying to teach me phrases in this Iglishmêk, with Bofur acting as translator.<p>

With a nudge Bifur signed something to me. I narrowed my eyes.

_What the hell does that mean again?_

The others in the company were all watching with a vague interest, even Bilbo seemed to want to see if I could do this or not. Bifur signed once more, raising both his forefingers at the same time.

_What does it mean…? _My brows knit together in concentration and I bit my lip. _Listen! It means Listen… how do I reply…_

Feeling very unsure of myself I raised my right forefinger first and then my left, I was pretty sure that meant something like, 'I am listening.' at the grin which tugged at Bifur's mouth and the cheers from the others I realised I was dead right.

"Boom!" I fist pumped the air. "Who said I can't learn any other languages eh?" Fili grinned at me from across the fire as my eyes landed on his. "I'm telling you Fils I got this dwarf thing down."

With a chuckle he replied. "I have no doubt you do Mimur."

"I can't wait to see you try to keep up with the marriage traditions." Kili grinned, spoiling my perfect mood.

"Oh god Kils." I put my head in my hands. "Don't say things like that, seriously. I'll probably screw up and then it will be like some huge spectacle. Honestly I don't even want to think about that until we've got the whole dragon situation out of the way."

Gloin chuckled just as Bofur said, "Why don't you tell us about some of the marriage traditions in your world Zai?"

"Sure, well you get married in church if you're religious, like before God and the woman usually wears a white dress. It used to be a symbol of purity but not so much any more. Then you have like your bridesmaids and grooms-men who stand up with the bride and groom while all the other guests sit. You have vows which you generally reply to with I do. They're something like do you promise to love and care for each other in sickness and in health 'til death do you part…but you can kind of do your own thing there if you want…" I trailed off before I thought of more to say. "Oh yeah and then there's the whole thing where the father of the bride walks her down the aisle to present her to the groom and the bride has; something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new on her. I think it's meant to be a good luck kind of thing."

The dwarves all nodded while Bilbo asked. "What do you mean something?"

"Well… it can be whatever you want as long as the objects fill those categories."

"That's very interesting." Thorin's voice was low but commanding and I realised he was probably about to tell us it was bedtime. "But I think we should all get some sleep. We have to reach the mountain tomorrow if we are to make the last light of Durin's day."

_What do you know? Spot on._

* * *

><p><strong>So I apologise if this chapter seemed a bit filler-ish but I thought it would be nice to give them all a bit more bonding time before they reached the mountain and it was a good way to show Zai and Fili's relationship changing. <strong>

**Hope you liked it anyway. I promise the next one will be better. **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews. **

**Rue**


	34. A LOT Of Falling

The next day found us leading two ponies up some very rocky terrain. Terrain, it was clear that the dwarves had no problem with; Bilbo and I however, were a completely different matter. As the dwarves marched on ahead with ease, we struggled behind like fish out of water.

"OW SHIT FUCK!" I exclaimed as I fell over for what had to be about the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes and scraped one of my hands. "OW!"

Bilbo made the mistake of looking over to check on my progress and see if I was alright, which caused him to fall too. "AHH! Ouch!"

"I feel your pain Bilbo mate!" I shouted over to him.

He shot me a weak grin back. "Thanks Zai! Damn dwarves eh?"

"You said it not me." We lay grinning at each other for a few moments before deciding it was probably time to get up.

Bilbo quite successfully heaved himself up and continued after the others, I also heaved myself up, stepped on a loose rock, and fell again. "OWWW!"

I hit the ground, rolling and tumbling straight past Bilbo bouncing all over the rocks. "Ow, shit, shit, oww, ouch, fuck, ow!"

I came to a stop at the feet of a _very_ amused set of dwarves who were all looking down on me grinning, all except one, who looked as if he was trying to mask his concern. It wasn't working.

"Okay, you know what? _Screw it._" I hissed. "Fils you can help me now, I'm totally done with this independence bull crap for the time being."

Fili let out a sigh as he crouched down to help me up. "_Mahal _Mimur. Just thank Mahal for that...you stubborn dwarf."

As he helped me to my feet I found myself oddly pleased. He'd spent the whole morning watching me hurt myself and _waited_ until I'd asked for help. It was clearly very irritating, and quite against his nature. More than once I'd seen him reach out to steady me before he managed to stop himself, _but_ the fact that he hadn't helped me, meant we were making progress.

_Ah progress. Fuck that shit._ I thought as I quite gladly let Fili hoist me onto his back in a piggy-back style.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my face into his neck. "Thank you." I muttered.

"What for?" He sounded really puzzled, "I haven't even helped you yet."

"For letting me make a complete fool of myself, go arse over tit like a thousand times and probably rack up an innumerable amount of bruises even though it was _killing_ you to watch… and _still _wait for me to ask for your help." I pecked him on the cheek.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, "I don't think I'll ever understand you woman."

I grinned. "You love me anyway _and_ that's what makes me interesting."

Kili snorted from beside us. "Yeah Zai, interesting is certainly one word for it."

"Oh shut up." I snapped playfully.

* * *

><p>We trekked on for what felt like forever, the fact that Fili managed to carry me so far really told me something about his strength and endurance. Thorin suddenly jogged forwards and up onto the edge of what appeared to be a cliff.<p>

"Let the ponies go." He ordered gruffly.

Fili lowered me gently to the ground as Nori and Ori relieved our remaining ponies of their supplies and set them free. I winced slightly as my feet hit the ground; my legs had apparently fallen asleep from being carried for so long.

Bifur noticed my wince and signed over to me. **'Are you okay?'**

With a smile I signed back. **'Yes'**

I didn't have much more Iglishmêk in my arsenal at the moment but it was nice to be able to communicate slightly with Bifur. To think we'd been travelling together for more than a year now and this was the first conversation we were having... It was really odd.

"What is this place?" Asked Bilbo, (cutting off my musings), sounding slightly awed and worried.

I stepped forwards with the others and looked down on what appeared to be no more than rocky ruins. I flinched. If this was what I thought it was, then we had finally reached the city of Dale.

_Poor sods, that looks terrible._

I frowned uncomfortably as I looked up at Thorin. I think I might have some new-found respect for the dwarf king. It can't have been easy to watch this place turn from a happy, lively city to…well…nothing.

"It was once the city of Dale." Balin answered confirming all my fears. "Now it is a ruin. The desolation of _Smaug_." He practically spat the dragon's name and to be completely honest, looking at the place I could see why.

As I swallowed uncomfortably I felt a large, warm, rough hand entwining with mine. I gazed out on Dale grimly, squeezing Fili's hand as I heard him take a rough gasp for air.

_This place was well and truly destroyed._

"The sun will soon reach midday. We must find the hidden door into the mountain before it sets." Thorin sounded hurried, "This way!"

He turned and began walking away but Bilbo stopped him. "Wait, is this… the overlook?" If anything I could say Bilbo sounded excited, and then his tone dropped to worry. "Gandalf said to meet him here… on no account were we too-"

Thorin cut him off, in a much nicer manner than I thought he would. "Do you see him?" He asked Bilbo lowly.

Bilbo let out a little 'uh' and a puff of air in slight disbelief as Thorin turned his eyes towards the sky.

"We have no time to wait upon the wizard." Thorin's voice was steady and strong but then it turned rather foreboding and his eyes glinted slightly manically for a second. "We're on our own. Come!"

Bilbo and I shared a quick glance.

_I knew something was wrong with Thorin. I knew it when we got to Laketown and now… _Shaking my head I nervously pulled my lip between my teeth. _Could Bard have been right?_

I raised my eyebrows at Fili and Kili as we turned to follow the previously conversing pair. "Yanno, I'm starting to re-think this whole quest business." I whispered.

Fili gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. We trudged down the rocky slope and then quickened our pace until we were past Dale and at the base of the mountain. Immediately everyone split up and began to look around for a door of some sort, or steps leading to it.

I stumbled around, glancing this way and that, in a rather half-hearted manner. I wasn't so sure it was a good idea to find this door, especially if Thorin was slowly losing it. Then again, I hadn't exactly come all this way for nothing.

"Anything?!" Thorin shouted, I _think_ directing the question to all of us.

However, it was Dwalin who answered, "Nothing!" He yelled back.

Thorin pulled the map from his pocket and studied it for a second, and then he cast his gaze on the company, myself included. "If the map is true… the hidden door lies directly above us." With that said he twisted his head one way and then the other, looking up at the mountain.

I followed Bilbo, it looked as if he had seen something and we jogged towards the left side of the dwarves.

"You have _got_ to be fucking with me." I groaned as I saw what I presumed was the staircase we were looking for, carved into the side of the mountain.

_Those steps are huge!_

"UP HERE!" Bilbo called to the others as I just looked upwards; pitying myself even more the longer I stared.

Thorin came jogging up behind us and placed one hand on Bilbo's shoulder and one on mine. "You have keen eyes Master Baggins." His voice was a whisper, and not a Thorin whisper either, a _proper_ whisper.

We started towards the staircase and when we reached the bottom of it I looked up even more soberly than before. "Oh there is just no way. How the _hell_ am I meant to scale that?" I moaned as Kili passed me clapping a hand on my shoulder happily.

"Come on sister! It'll be a challenge." The glint in his eyes was almost scary.

"I know why you're mother calls you the reckless one Kils. I plan on telling her she's _entirely_ correct."

The only response I received was a gruff laugh.

* * *

><p>Much like the other moments in this journey, getting up the stairs was <em>completely<em> as hard as it looked. I just really didn't have the strength or dwarven balance for these things, especially considering the hurry Thorin was in.

Fili and Kili were good to me though. Fili was coming up behind me, so he would lift me and then Kili would pull me up. It seemed to take an age and we walked along the top of a _humongous _carving of a dwarven king whom, (I assumed), was Thorin's grandfather just as the sun was setting. Of course it was possible that I was completely wrong and the carving was some random dwarven king… but I liked to think I wasn't.

"Urgh," I moaned as my legs burned and prickled with the effort of this new form of exercise. "Didn't want to make this easy for people did you?"

"I would think lassie," Balin replied sounding in very high spirits indeed. "That was the point. For dwarves only to be able to enter through the hidden door."

"Well, I'm a dwarf now, so yanno, they failed." I dead-panned.

"Sure, but you're a very small dwarf Zai." Bofur grinned cheekily from just up ahead.

I glared at him. "And your hat is stupid."

Bilbo cackled and clutched his side, struggling to keep walking, "How long," He huffed, "Have you been waiting to say that?"

"Long enough." I grumbled.

_Liar. Bofur's hat is awesome._

It might have been the first insult which came to mind, but the thought I had afterwards rang true. Bofur's hat _was_ awesome, and the fact that he hadn't lost it on this journey was a feat in itself.

_Of all the opportunities we've had to lose things…it's actually a bloody miracle. _

I heard a slightly exhausted but joyous laugh up ahead and figured they must be coming to the end of the stairs, and to what I assumed must be a ledge outside wherever this 'hidden door' should be.

I peered up intently, trying to work out how much longer I had to go. My heart dropped to my stomach with a lurch as my foot slipped and I grabbed desperately, reaching nothing but thin air.

"Mimur!" Taking a frightening look down I saw Fili swing outwards below me, now holding onto the mountain one handed as he leaned precariously backwards.

A hefty, tough hand shape pressed into my back and I struggled for a few seconds before managing to clasp at a piece of the mountain once more. I sensed Fili struggling behind me and heard him grunt.

"Fee!" Kili stared desperately past me and I felt like all the air had been sucked from my lungs at the look on his face.

With all my might I yanked myself up and Kili tugged me onto the safety of the ledge. We both fell and ended up in what could have been a very uncomfortable and embarrassing position, if our minds weren't elsewhere completely.

_FILI!_

The panic coursed through me as Kili's arms held me tightly around the waist and we watched the side of the ledge with a frightening intensity. If my eyes mirrored Kili's then we looked like we had golf balls in our heads. It was too dangerous to dive back at the ledge; we could end up knocking Fili off if he had managed to hang on, and as a terrifying heartbeat passed my blood pumped like ice through my veins.

When the top of a golden head popped up and Fili finally flopped onto the ledge, I knew I could breathe easy once more.

"You fool!" I gasped wrapping my arms around him and pressing myself tightly to his chest as soon as he had stepped onto safer ground. "You could have _fallen_."

He looked into my eyes with such a startlingly accepting, passionate look that I realised he had known that all along.

"And you _would_ have fallen." His tone was low, so serious, that I didn't doubt if he had needed too he would have traded his life for mine.

"Fili you can't make those decisions for me…"

A glint of anger shone in his beautiful sea-coloured eyes. "I made that decision for myself, and it was a life or death moment. I told you I might do things you disagreed with."

I let my eyes roam over his stern face once more, before raising a small, soft, shaking hand to cup his cheek. I lightly dragged a thumb across his chapped lips; he pressed them out gently, pecking my thumb.

"You scared me."

"As you scared me."

Clenching my teeth, I nodded stiffly in acceptance; this was a point we were obviously going to have to agree to disagree on.

"Brother." Kili stepped towards us. "Fee." His eyes shone with tears as they darted over Fili, almost checking he was all in one piece.

"Kee," Fili sighed as he stepped forwards and embraced his brother, "I'm alright."

The darker haired brother nodded at his older counterpart stiffly.

"You saved Mimur." Fili stated. It was, most certainly, _not_ a question.

Kili looked as if he was struggling with something inside for a few seconds, "She is my best friend, my future sister. I should have still tried to assist you brother, and for that I am sorry." His voice was low, emotion filled, and apologetic. Almost ashamed.

"No!" Fili shook his head fiercely as their conversation dropped into a whisper. "You know what I will ask of you one day brother."

I frowned. _What the hell does that mean?_

Kili grasped Fili's hand tightly and nodded gravely before they embraced once more.

Ori came up onto the ledge and walked past me, I knew Ori had been the last dwarf to come up. Just as I was about to say something, Fili swung an arm out, hand open behind him and it wasn't until my hand slipped into his that the brothers broke their gaze and we finally moved forwards to join the others.

* * *

><p>"This must be it." Thorin's voice once again came out in a proper whisper.<p>

_He must be so awed about being home. It must feel epic._

For the first time since I'd been in Middle Earth, I felt a twinge of homesickness as I stared at the side of that mountain bathed in the dying sunlight. If I'm honest it wasn't homesickness as such but more a twinge of nervousness. The type that heats up your whole body as something bad starts to happen, the type that just seems to spread from your gut outwards until it engulfs you.

I let out a nervous puff of air.

_If we can pull this off, I need to adjust to a whole new society._

Rationally I had always known this was going to happen, but considering the quest had been so full on, hell life had been so full on since I arrived, it was totally weird. I'd never really thought about having to change somewhat to fit into dwarven society. To top it all I was going to be marrying into dwarven royalty. I glanced up at Fili, nerves dancing across my face. I could be me around the company, and that was great. I loved that. Even if the dwarves got used to my eccentricities, I doubted the whole of the dwarven people would… and I knew to be a member of the royal family _well_… I was going to have to learn some sense of decorum if I ever needed to take on any responsibilities. For the first time in my life, I was glad that dwarven culture was pretty male dominated, then again… they also thought very highly of their woman.

I gulped. This really felt like the beginning of the end; the start of something completely new.

_I'm not sure I'm ready. _

Bifur was the only one to notice my nervous disposition as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, standing staring at the wall. I figured since he was quieter and gruffer than the others, he was also most likely, more observant too.

For the second time in one day he signed to me. **'Are you okay?'**

I nodded, unable to sign back properly with Fili's hand still clutching tightly to mine. Bifur narrowed his eyes slightly and gave me the distinct feeling he knew something was up, but he did incline his head to let me know he understood. For that, I was thankful.

My worries were not a conversation for today. My worries would have to be chained tightly inside me until we reclaimed Erebor fully. Then perhaps I'd voice them to my friends. _Perhaps._

"The hidden door." Thorin continued in his awestruck tone. He turned to face the dwarves and held the key in front of him. "Let all those who doubted us…" A smile, a _genuine_ smile broke out onto his face as he finished. "_Rue this day!_"

The dwarves let out loud, deafening cheers, raising their hands in triumph and I felt warmed. Inside and out I felt warmed. A smile broke across my face; if I had to learn how to behave in a society full of dwarves I could do it, because with the help of these friends, _my family_, I could do anything.

"Right then we have a key." Announced Dwalin as he put his weapons down and moved towards the mountain wall, running his hands over the rough stone. "Which means that somewhere…there is a keyhole."

_Oh God. Why do I have the feeling I actually pulled off a miracle finding the dwarven door in that contest with Thandir?_

"The last light of Durin's day…" Thorin stared into the setting sun before turning to observe Dwalin patting at the wall, "Will shine upon the keyhole."

As the sun started to fade, I had an awful feeling in my gut that something here wasn't right. I must have not been the only one because Thorin gestured Nori forwards to help search.

Nori started tapping the wall with a spoon and a cup on the wall to his ear, as Dwalin tried to push the wall in. They might be getting desperate but it was damn stupid for him to try and shove a wall. If it was locked, then it blatantly wasn't happening.

"We're losing the light… come on!" Thorin tried to hurry Nori and Dwalin along.

Bilbo and I shared a fretful glance. This was not going according to plan at all.

Nori started tapping more rapidly as Dwalin started kicking or should I say, _booting_, the wall in his panic and frustration.

"Be quiet!" Nori admonished. "I can't hear with y'er thumpin'."

"It's not here! It's _not here!_" Dwalin banged with his fists as he got more and more fretful.

Fili dropped my hand and wrung his together nervously. Everyone seemed to be getting jittery at this point, Bilbo and I included. I felt a dread spread across my stomach as my heart slowly dropped with the dying sun.

"BREAK IT DOWN!" Ordered Thorin in pure desperation.

"Aye!" Shouted Gloin taking to the wall with his axe.

Fili and Kili followed along with all the others, but no amount of force was going to open that mountain. That much was perfectly clear.

_Oh no._

"_COME ON!"_

Thorin was becoming more and more worked up by the second and I was sure if _my_ heart rate increased much more, I would be in danger of keeling over.

"It has to break." I heard him whisper and when I glanced at him I saw his eyes were wide, worried and panicked.

Balin suddenly jumped in, looking pained he yelled. "It's no good! The door is sealed. It can't be opened by force! There's a powerful magic on it."

"Dwarves can do magic… thought that was an elf thing." I muttered to Bilbo who shot me a look clearly stating that I wasn't helping.

I shrugged feeling utterly useless as the dwarves stopped their attempts.

As the sunlight disappeared it seemed all hope was lost.

"NO!" Thorin almost sounded as if he was struggling not to cry as he roughly shoved past Bilbo and I to the side of the mountain. He yanked out the map and stared at it, almost like a child who has just found out Santa's not real. "The last light of Durin's day, will shine upon the keyhole." He looked out at us, and to be honest he looked pitiful. I felt a pang of sadness travel through me. "That's… that's what it says."

He looked over to Balin, almost for comfort. "What did we miss?" As he took a few steps towards him, his voice dropped to a whisper once more. "What did we miss? Balin…"

"We've lost the light…" Balin told him with a sad shake of his head, "There's no more to be done. We had but one chance… come away lads…it's over."

"Fili…" I didn't know what to say to him. My voice was barely audible as I reached out my hand and he looked at me from the corner of downtrodden, tear-filled eyes; his face crumpling. "I…"

Fili just shook his head and turned away, clapping his brother on the back as he followed the others.

"Bilbo…" I looked to the hobbit fretfully, and he seemed in agreement with me. Although, just as unsure of what to do.

"Wait a minute what…" Bilbo looked around with me, startled into action. "Where are they going?"

I turned my palms upwards throwing my hands out in a kind of 'what do we do?' gesture.

"YOU CAN'T GIVE UP NOW!" Bilbo exclaimed.

Thorin tipped the key out of his hand, letting it clatter to the floor and I wiped a stray tear from my eye.

* * *

><p>"Thorin…" Thorin strode past Bilbo and I, shoving the map into Bilbo's chest as he went. "You can't give up now…" Bilbo continued to try.<p>

"Bilbo it's no use." I muttered to him, patting him on the arm.

"It doesn't feel right Zai."

I inhaled deeply, filling my chest. "Well then, let's fix it. We can work this out."

"How are you at riddles?" He asked as he walked towards the wall with me.

I shrugged. "Not too bad."

"Right," He waved a hand in front of his head as he thought. "Stand by the grey stone. When the thrush knocks, the setting sun and the last light of Durin's day will shine… the last light…" He turned from the wall waving the map at me.

I frowned and turned too, looking out at the sky from our spot on the ledge.

_The last light…wait…_

As a silver sliver of light pierced the clouds I gasped, "Bilbo…"

We both peered up at the moon. It was an epiphany; the weirdest most surreal epiphany ever.

TAP...TAP...TAP

Slowly, very slowly and carefully we turned, and there against the mountain, knocking, was a bird. I say a bird because I have no idea if it was a thrush or not, but at this point I would have taken a seagull.

My mouth dropped open in tandem with Bilbo's as the moonlight shone against the mountain door and thinned down to sparkle, _precisely_, on a keyhole.

"Oh the last light!" Bilbo's voice came out breathy and euphoric as he pointed to the door with the map.

"The moon. It's the fucking moon!" I hugged him tightly, completely filled with glee, before an awful thought dawned on me. "Where's the key?! Bilbo where's the _bloody_ key?!"

"THE KEYHOLE!" Bilbo yelled down the mountain to the others as I scrambled around searching for the key. "COME BACK! COME BACK! IT'S THE LIGHT OF THE MOON! THE LAST _MOON_ OF AUTUMN!"

"BILBO!" I called desperately, leaning about as close to the ground as possible without being on all fours.

The hobbit was, very helpfully, laughing. I lie, it wasn't helpful at all.

Thankfully my shout spurred him into action and he also began searching for the key. "Where's the key?" He spun desperately. "Zai where's the key?!"

"If you'd been listening to a _word_ I'd said you'd know I don't have a _bloody clue_!" I shouted, just as he spun once more and we heard a terrifying, stomach plummeting, chinking sound.

Our eyes found the source of the noise, just in time to see the key bouncing towards the edge of the cliff.

"LIKE FUCK!"

I dived, my only thought being that I didn't come all this way to lose the damn key now. As my hands fumbled with the leather strap and finally caught it, hanging on tightly, I realised something. More of me was off the mountain than on.

And with that horrifying realisation; I began to fall.

* * *

><p><strong>So guys, <strong>

**Hope you enjoy this one! **

**It was a struggle to write but I like how it turned out. **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews. **

**Rue :)**


	35. Devastating Perspective

As Zalia toppled over the ledge, Thorin leaped forwards. For a second it looked like he might catch her, for just a split second. Ori's hand came up over his mouth as he let out a panic-stricken gasp. Thorin's hand had brushed Zai's leg but he hadn't been quick enough to grasp onto her.

As the bone-chilling scream she'd been letting out stopped, all hell broke loose on top of the mountain.

Fili launched himself after Thorin and hung off the edge of the cliff, eyes darting desperately as Kili gripped his brothers' legs tightly to ensure he couldn't jump off as well.

For a few moments the world seemed to stop. Fili had tears openly coursing down his face which Ori knew was a big thing for any dwarf, let alone Fili. Thorin was lying next to his nephew mouth agape.

"She was right there. I had her, I should have had her." He was muttering completely shell shocked.

"She caught the key…" Ori knew as soon as the words had been spoken, that Bilbo Baggins had said the entirely wrong thing.

Fili pushed himself backwards with such force that Ori thought his back would hit the wall the other side of the ledge, Thorin span around throwing himself upwards and stumbling forwards, Kili leapt frontwards and the others began shouting angrily in Khuzdul at the hobbit.

"WHAT DOES THE KEY MATTER?!" Thorin boomed as Fili regained his wits.

With tears still flowing freely he shot like a bullet towards the hobbit, arms outstretched as if he was going to throttle Bilbo to death. "I'LL KILL YOU BILBO BAGGINS!"

Dwalin and Kili with quick wits, grabbed Fili roughly but it took the addition of Thorin, Bofur and Gloin to hold the grieving dwarf back.

Bilbo pressed his back firmly against the mountain wall, feeling the chill seep through his body from somewhere inside, rather than as one might have assumed, the cold stone.

"I didn't do anything!" His voice flew rapidly from his mouth and Ori could see how terrified he looked as the others struggled to restrain Fili.

It was a testament to their characters that they didn't leap for the hobbit themselves. Everyone was horrified, everyone was _distraught_ but Fili was broken.

"EXACTLY! YOU SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED HER!" Fili's usually controlled voice cracked under the emotional strain and with an exceptional show of strength he broke free of the dwarves and landed on Bilbo.

As he raised a clenched fist, one which Ori was sure would break the hobbits face, the dwarves launched themselves again, still protecting Bilbo. This was the point at which, Ori decided to join in the fray, as much as he knew he was really no protection against Fili, Zai wouldn't have wanted Bilbo killed. Balin, surprisingly, crashed into the others at the same time Ori did and a fleeting thought passed through Ori's mind; at this rate, they'd go hurtling off the mountain too.

* * *

><p><em>I'm going to die.<em>

The terror that seeped from my very core and into my bones at the sight of the long drop warmed me. I felt a hand brush my leg and for half a second I let myself believe that someone was going to catch me, that I was going to be okay; but as I hurtled further away from the desperate hand I knew I wasn't. I let out the shrillest most blood-curdling scream I'd ever let out before in my life. From what I've heard that's what they tell people who go skydiving to do so they can breathe, and I was certain that if I was going to die, then I was going to die from hitting the ground. If this was the last choice I got to make, then that was my choice.

I always thought before death your life flashed before your eyes. Mine didn't. I stayed solely focused on the earth that was going to pulverize me, the terrain that was going to turn me into minced-meat.

My hair whipped at my face as I hurtled downwards, water streaked up my temples as the harsh wind made my eyes sting. I clutched to the key as if it was a lifeline.

_Ha! Some lifeline._

Of all the ways I could have died in Middle Earth, I never expected to die because I _stupidly_ jumped off a mountain after a bloody piece of metal. Flailing around wildly still screaming I stuck out with my foot, and then suddenly I wasn't falling any more.

A tiny ledge embedded in the side of the mountain had caught me, it stuck out slightly and by some miracle, by striking out with my feet I had changed my momentum. I hit the ledge with enough of my body to stay; suspended precariously. There was a mighty _crack_ as I impacted with the hard stone and I knew I had likely broken my ribs. Still clutching the key tightly in one hand I carefully, _extremely_ carefully reached back to the edge of the mountain and finally managed to get a hold on some sharp rocks. Hissing as the rocks cut into my hand painfully, I began to slowly propel myself backwards.

When I was safely on the ledge I took stock of my injuries. I had almost certainly broken some ribs, if the pain in my left side was anything to go by, but it looked as if I had gotten lucky. I would definitely bruise, but I could move all of my limbs and my hips and back obviously weren't broken, even if they stung like a bitch.

Getting gingerly to my feet I stood and looked around, as I leaned out slightly I realised I hadn't fallen that far, perhaps two or three stories. With a shiver as I glanced down, I appreciated how much worse it could have been.

"I could have been dead…but I'm…I'm alive." I muttered under my breath to myself. "Oh dear God I'm alive."

Tears of joy coursed down my face and my legs trembled. I had to sit for a few moments hugging my knees close and firmly away from the edge of the niche, staring outwards just letting the tremors subside. After a lot of deep breathing, they finally stopped. I dropped my hands and one brushed against the jewel on my sword. It was burning hot, wincing I jerked my hand away.

_Why is it hot? Did it…? No that's not possible._

I didn't think my sword had saved me. I was sure it hadn't in fact, but I did think it might have been connected to me in some way. Balin had said it dimmed in his hand perhaps that was why it reacted in mine. Mind you it had never burnt me before.

Gritting my teeth I forced myself to stop pondering over the sword as I ran one hand shakily through my hair. I needed to get back onto the top of the mountain. There was no way down and I couldn't stay here forever. I slipped the leather strap of the key around my neck, the metal felt cool and heavy as it clinked against my 'Z' necklace and my chest. With adrenaline pumping through my body I shuffled over to the edge of the ledge.

Scrutinising the side of the mountain I noticed there were little indents I could most likely use to climb back up again.

_It seems that luck and fate are on my side._

Feeling the most nervous and terrified I had ever been I had to remind myself that one could not be courageous without feeling fear as I removed my boots, tied the laces together and hung them around my neck in preparation to climb. There was no way I could climb up the mountain with the boots on, the indents weren't big enough for one thing, and for another, I'd much rather _feel_ where I was putting my feet.

Taking a gulp of air I shifted my hand into one of the little indents to the side of the ledge, having to lean perhaps further than I'd like. I knew this was crazy, but with death waiting if I stayed in one place or attempted to go down, I knew I had to take the opportunity to live. I struggled for a few seconds until I was sure I had a firm grip and then I moved the other hand out into another indent.

Putting my hands out wasn't hard, but putting my feet out was. For the first time ever, I was jealous of Bilbo. The hobbit wouldn't have felt the cold stone ripping at the soles of his feet as he strained to find a good, secure foothold. After a few minutes my whole body was out, and I clung to the side of the mountain, carefully assessing my path. When I finally thought I'd decided I began a torturous upwards journey.

_Just don't look down and pretend you're Lara Croft._

It sounds silly now, hell it sounded silly then, but that kept me alive. Taking the time even as my limbs ached and burned my lungs feeling like pincushions; needles sticking out sharply from everywhere, being shoved in roughly every time I took a breath I climbed.

My hands and feet _hurt_. My whole body ached and still I climbed. I couldn't stop, if I did….

After what felt like a year of my life I could finally hear the others. They sounded as if they were brawling, which, usually would have quickened my pace and assent, but not this time. I had to be level headed here. I just _had_ to be. Mentally thanking Thandir for all the balance and climbing techniques he had made me go over, as well as the insistence I work on strengthening my whole body to gain the agility I needed I continued to scale the mountain.

_If you told me a year ago I would be scaling a mountain. _I chuckled quietly to myself. _Man I would have thought you were a nutter. _

Feeling practically dead all over, as if any last piece of energy I had was wasted I saw the silver lining. The edge of the ledge the others were on was right above my head and my heart leapt. I grasped at the thick cliff edge and I knew I was going to have to swing outwards and heave myself up.

_This is it, live or die._

I felt the flight or fight response at the imminent danger, but my mind was already made up. Letting go was too easy. If I had learnt anything from the journey it was that I was a fighter until the very end.

_What could be a very grisly end…_

Dispelling the negative thoughts with a quick shake of my head I swung. For just a split second, I dangled uselessly, unable to find the strength to heave myself up but too proud to let go. Then with a mighty groan, I pulled.

* * *

><p>The dwarves had <em>finally <em>managed to restrain Fili. Pinned against a wall the blond dwarf looked a lot less terrifying than just moments before. Bilbo observed him as the tears still streamed down his face, he looked lost, destroyed and in desperate need of a hug. For the first time since Bilbo had known Fili he thought the dwarf looked vulnerable.

His fists were clenched so tightly together his knuckles were turning white and his braided moustache appeared to hang limply around a mouth which would never smile again it seemed. It looked as if it was permanently turned down, pinned there.

Biblo tried to hold back tears, the only person who would ever be able to change that look was splattered all over the ground by now, and he felt _entirely_ responsible. He _had_ been the only person up on the ledge with Zalia and he _had_ failed to protect her.

"She's gone Kee.." Fili's voice was hoarse from all the shouting as he spoke to his brother. "She's gone and I didn't even… I didn't… I just… she tried and I…"

"Fee you had no idea that was going to happen." Kili tried to support his brother as he struggled with his own grief but Fili was having none of it.

Balin sighed heavily as he leant down next to Fili. "Kili is right lad, there's nothing you could have done."

The dwarves were in shock. No one had even looked over at the moonlight still shimmering on the keyhole. Not even Thorin. No one cared. The failure of their quest paled in comparison to losing one of their own. Especially the _one particular_ member of the company everyone had been trying to keep safe.

"Fili I should have caught her and I… I will never forgive myself for that." Thorin's voice was gruff and pained as he stared at his nephew, agony shining in his usually unreadable eyes.

"Well I don't know why not. I'm the one who dived off the cliff… you guys want this key or not? I went to a lot of trouble for it you know."

Bilbo's eyes snapped in tandem with every dwarfs' to the part of the ledge Zalia had fallen from, the part nobody had even managed to glance at since, and there, bathed in the moonlight, making her look ethereal, like an angle sent from heaven was Zalia. White blonde hair floating gently in the breeze, blue eyes shining, and face glistening with tears, she stood; very much _alive._

* * *

><p>With a strength I didn't know I possessed I managed to heave my body up and drag myself back onto the ledge. I lay for a couple of seconds panting; shocked I had managed to survive.<p>

_I'm safe; oh my God I'm safe. _

Regrouping my power I shakily stood and stared out at the group on the ledge. Fili was crying and I felt a dreadful stab in my heart. I'd only ever seen Fili cry once before, and he hadn't been this bad. Crying in front of the other dwarves and Bilbo meant I couldn't even comprehend how much he must be hurting right now.

_Stupid, foolish, selfish, reckless._

I admonished myself with my thoughts as I heard him despairing to the others. No one was speaking, and no one seemed to notice my reappearance. They were clearly in a state of shock, grief beginning to crack their tough exteriors.

This was obvious as Thorin stepped forwards to speak to Fili, voice pained. "Fili I should have caught her and I… I will never forgive myself for that." His back was to me but I could clearly hear the guilt he spoke of drifting along in his words.

_He shouldn't feel guilty here. I should. I'm the idiot who made them all feel like this. _

Before they could all begin to feel any worse, I spoke. My throat burned, straining and hoarse but my words were clear and honest. "Well I don't know why not. I'm the one who dived off the cliff… you guys want this key or not? I went to a lot of trouble for it you know."

Thorin's head snapped round in tandem with everyone else's as I lightly fingered the key which was resting heavily against my chest. Guilt almost filling me to the brim as I glanced over the startled faces of the company my eyes finally rested on the dismayed and to be honest, _broken_ eyes of my dwarf prince.

"Fili…" His name floated out of my mouth on a short breath of air and I stumbled forwards, my pace quickening the more securely I got onto the cliff.

I could feel the blood seeping from my feet and my boots banged heavily against my shoulders, the pain in my ribs increased the longer I stood but I had to get closer to him. With one last surge of energy I forced myself forwards and collapsed into his arms.

He smelt of pipe tobacco, sweat and tears. I always thought in these types of moments the one you loved was meant to smell of something special, like fresh cut grass or Ireland in the summer, perhaps the sea or, considering this is Fili, a smoky forge but no, he didn't. And that was fine, because to me, Fili smelt like home.

A gut wrenching sob broke out from him as I collided with his chest, almost as if he needed to touch me to know that I was real, and his arms clenched so tightly around me that I let out a pain-filled hiss as they pressured my cracked ribs.

Pulling back reluctantly and holding me gingerly, his rough hands settled lightly on my waist he gazed at me with so much adoration I thought I was in danger of fainting. "Mimur you're hurt."

"Well, apparently falling off a mountain will do that to you. Who new huh?" I gave a half-hearted shrug and a weak smile in an attempt to lighten the situation.

It didn't work.

Fili glared at me with such a stone cold look, so sober and serious that I knew he didn't see the funny side and he probably never would. Not that I could blame him.

"Well, I think I cracked a few ribs, my feet are all ripped up and stuff and I'll probably be bruised all over for months but I'm alive." I paused for a few seconds to let his eyes roam over me, I didn't expect him to not be protective at this moment and when he seemed satisfied I continued. "But I'm okay Fils honestly… although I am _never_ climbing a mountain again. I don't know about the inside but I don't think the outside agrees with me too much."

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips, the kind you can't stop from spreading even in the inappropriate moments and his eyes shinned with relief and happiness. "Don't _ever_ do anything like that again or I swear independence be dammed I'll lock you up in our halls for the rest of your life."

"Why does that sound so honest?" I asked with a grin of my own as I fiddled with his courting braid.

"Because it is." He dead-panned.

I shakily tip-toed with an agony-filled hiss and pressed my lips firmly to his. When I settled back on the ground it felt like my soles were on fire. "Figured as much."

* * *

><p>"Well guys, I'm totally alive, which is awesome." Voice filled with false nonchalance I turned to face the rest of the company.<p>

With a surprising display of swiftness Bilbo was the first to reach me. He enveloped me in a tender hug and I buried my head in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry." His voice was an undertone, he actually sounded a little devastated.

"I'm sorry too." We pulled back smiling at each other, it didn't appear words were really necessary. Bilbo and I had come on this journey as useless as each other and I knew he felt a sense of responsibility for me just as I did for him.

As he stepped back I was thrown into a whirlwind for a few minutes, the dwarves hugging me gently, telling me how foolish I was in warm voices. Eventually there were only four left.

Bifur stepped forwards signing to me **'Are you okay?'**

I grinned at the dwarf, "I've been better mate."

With a gruff chuckle he yanked me into a tight embrace and I squeaked slightly, Bifur was never a person I thought I'd be hugging.

The next to step forward was Bofur, his voice broke as he tried to speak and he settled for taking my hand and squeezing the life out of it. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the small fairy figurine that somehow had remained safe during my free fall and crash landing.

"I don't know what you're so worried about, you gave me wings didn't cha?" I twisted the figure in my hand, waving it at him slightly and he smiled pulling me into a hug which sent me colliding into his chest. With a sigh as I wrapped my arms around him I continued, "I understand the hat now. Flapping like a bird eh?" With a wink I released him and put the figurine back into my pocket, "And it's pretty awesome by the way… been feeling a bit guilty about that." A blush crept onto my face and Bofur let out a loud laugh.

"Seriously lassie?! You've been worrying about insulting my hat." He continued to chortle and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Oi, I'll have you know free falling from a mountain really puts things into perspective for you!"

As Bofur moved to the side still chuckling Kili's arms shot out of nowhere and crushed me to him.

"Kils can't breathe!" I chocked slightly as the air was forced from my lungs and my ribs gave a painful twinge.

"You _reckless, idiotic, courageous, foolish, stupid…_" As his voice failed him I chortled lightly.

"Wow, Kils didn't know you could describe yourself so well."

He pulled back and stared at me with a playful glare. "When you're all fixed up I'm going to beat you for that."

I grinned. "Cocky aren't we? You could _barely_ beat me now."

Thorin shoved his nephew out of the way as he tried to retort and I was yanked into another strong hold.

"You _silly_ child. Don't _ever_ scare me like that again. I would never have forgiven myself if…" He stopped suddenly, unable to voice his thoughts.

"I'm sorry Pops, really, extremely sorry."

With a huff he ruffled my hair, "How did I inherit such an idiotic daughter?"

I tugged the key from over my neck and held it out to him feeling oddly smug, "Be grateful you didn't inherit a butter-fingers, I believe this is yours."

With one last disdainful eye roll Thorin took the key from my hands, and turning to look at the keyhole as Fili's chest pressed to my back he said, "Oin, fix her up. We're going to need everyone at their strongest."

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? <strong>

**Next chapter will obviously be opening the door but I felt this deserved a chapter all of it's own. **

**Hope you liked it, it was difficult to get right. :P.**

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews!**

**Rue**


	36. A Whole Host Of Waiting

If I said Fili was feeling protective after my near death experience I would be underplaying things entirely. He hovered over me like a protective mother lion over her cubs and let out _the most_ God awful snarl when Oin told him to bugger off so he could treat me. Okay so Oin didn't exactly say 'bugger off' but you get my drift.

If I'm honest I can see why Oin needed Fili to go. Firstly, as I winced while Oin was cleaning my feet, applying some foul smelling goo _stuff _and bandaging them, Fili looked like he wanted to snap Oin's fingers. Secondly, to treat my ribs Oin had to have me lift my top and apparently it wasn't considered appropriate for Fili to watch this, he wasn't supposed to see me like this until we were married. Even though this was something Fili was well aware of, it still took Kili, Dwalin, Balin and Bifur to tug him away.

"Jesus that's cold." I muttered shivering as Oin applied another ointment all around me from under my breasts all the way down to the lining of my breeches.

"That it is lassie, but it will do you the world of good. Should have you fixed up in no time." Oin chuckled conversationally as he finished spreading the stuff. "Now where is…ah, here we are." With a grin he pulled some more bandages out of a pack and began tightly wrapping them around my midsection.

"Dude, ow!" I moaned as the bandage pulled particularly tight across what I could only assume was one of the broken ribs.

"What's going on?! Mimur?!" Fili called desperately trying to turn around. When he found he was unable to in the hold of the others his voice took on a darker tone. "Oin if you have hurt her I'll skin you alive."

Oin's eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, as he continued to bandage me with much shakier hands than before.

"No, no!" I spluttered in a mild panic, "No skinning necessary! I'm fine Fils, just A-OK."

"Just what?!" His voice raised a few octaves and he sounded even more worried than before.

My eyes flicked to him and I saw him start to tremble slightly with the effort to break free from the others. "It means I'm absolutely fine, feeling wonderful!" I called, when his struggling stopped, I knew he'd calmed down.

From then on I bit my lip to stop any sound escaping me while Oin was treating me and after another painful minute or so, he was done.

_I do actually feel better._

Whatever the smelly stuff Oin had put on me was, it must have been working. With a spring in my step I moved over to Fili who gently encased me in his arms once more, glaring at anyone who came too close to me, and growling lowly.

"Shut up." I hushed him, putting a calming hand on his chest as he threw a furious look Oin's way, "I'm fine, and these are our friends, they are _not_ going to hurt me."

Grumbling slightly, Fili listened and moved us slightly closer to the others. It was only by a small amount but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day you know? And anyway the other dwarves seemed shocked enough that I'd managed to get him to do that.

_Huh… guess when Kili said Fili was wild, unpredictable, ferocious and downright intimidating he really wasn't kidding. Some of the company look worried just standing near him right now… Kili included. _

When it was clear to Thorin that Fili wasn't going to attack anyone who dared come anywhere near me, he focused in on the keyhole.

_Finally, I didn't jump off that cliff for everyone to lose the moonlight. I'd honestly rather we open it sooner rather than later, even if we are taking the chance there's a blood-thirsty dragon inside who has an downright detestation for dwarves._

* * *

><p>Everyone stepped forwards into a line as Thorin stared from the key to the keyhole with a slightly manic glint in his eyes.<p>

_I'm sure this is going to come back to bite us. _

Then with a deafening chink in the silence, as Fili's arms wrapped possessively around my waist, Thorin slid the key into the keyhole. Logically I knew it had to work, I knew it had to open the door but I waited on baited breath with everyone else, until _finally_ Thorin turned the key. There came a slight grinding noise, a loud clunk, Thorin placed both hands on the wall and pushed, arms shaking with the force exerted and the door swung open. It hit the wall with a slight crunch and an echoing thud.

"Dude. Heavy much?" I mumbled, feeling the need to attempt to dispel the jittery feeling which had taken over.

Everyone ignored me. "Oh I get it! we're totally having a moment here." Kili shot me a withering stare and Fili chuckled into my hair.

Bifur gave me an amused glance before signing, **'Listen'**

To which I replied, **'I am listening'**in Iglishmêk of course.

_I think that was Bifur's way of saying shut up…_

On this thought, I fell silent and settled for moving my lips restlessly from side to side. It was just so bloody tense, which made things totally awkward. I hate tense moments, I never know what to do with myself, and this is why I say to Kili I'll probably do the complete wrong thing when Fili and I get married.

I smirked to myself; _Fili and I are getting married. I'm not dead, and Fili and I are getting married. I'm going to be Mrs…well… Mrs Fili to be honest, with this whole no dwarf last name issue but still... That sounds awesome!_

"Erebor…" Thorin groaned completely awestruck, yanking me from my thoughts and back to the moment we were having.

If I'm honest this was the moment I expected him to walk in, he didn't.

"Thorin…" Balin was chocked up as he stood next to his friend, unable to continue and Thorin clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder in comfort, neither made a move to enter though.

_Well this is just getting too much. _

"Pops without meaning to destroy the moment here, you going in or what?" I asked quietly.

If I was returning home after sixty odd years or whatever, I would have run in like a bat out of hell, screaming and touching everything I could get my hands on. Then again, if I was returning home after sixty years I doubted there'd be a dragon inside but still… I did expect him to at least go through the damn door.

My words seemed to be all the encouragement Thorin needed. He took slow steps into the mountain, Balin and the rest of us following closely behind, however he stopped in the doorway, and this was more like it.

"I know these walls," He whispered running a hand gently over the inside of the corridor. "These walls… this stone… You remember it Balin, chambers filled with golden light…" If I didn't know any better I'd say Thorin was about to start crying, but Thorin Oakenshield didn't cry, _not ever_.

"I remember." Said Balin, still sounding tearful as he followed Thorin inside.

This finally seemed to be the moment we were all going to enter. As we moved forwards I heard two slight sniffs from behind me and realised Fili and Kili were also struggling to keep their emotions in check.

With a small smile and a lump in my throat I paused just inside the doorway. "Well Prince One, Prince Two… welcome to your kingdom." I curtseyed and then turned to Thorin, "Welcome home, King Under The Mountain." I curtseyed low again and this time the rest of the company joined me, bowing.

This all seemed to be a bit much for the three dwarves in question, who had to suck in deep breaths, Fili and Kili walking past to stand next to their uncle. I felt myself becoming a little tearful as I watched them all looking at each other with love and adoration in their eyes, as they surveyed the corridor.

That however, was when Bombur created a moment of his own. "And welcome, future Princess under the mountain to your new home."

He dipped into a low bow and the rest of the company followed suit, I paled and swallowed thickly as Fili held a hand out to me and tentatively I walked over, grasping it firmly. We all, (Thorin, Fili, Kili and I) turned to look at the others, who were just straightening up.

"My dear dwarves and hobbit…" Dwalin announced gruffly, "I present to you, the royal family of Erebor, minus one, Princess Dis, may she arrive safely."

I gulped, "Dudes, while this is all overwhelming and awesome…" Eleven sets of eyes flicked firmly to my face, "If any of you ever bow to me again, I swear to God, I will _totally_ cut you. Way too creepy, and anyway, you're my friends."

They grinned and Thorin stepped up behind me, placing a heavy hand on my shoulder smiling down at me.

"Zalia is right; every dwarf here deserves to be here as much as we do if not more. I don't want any of you to ever bow to us again." His voice shook with emotion but the meaning in his words was clear as the dwarves surveyed us.

"We made it sister." Kili said, taking my other hand and squeezing it gently.

"Sure did Kils…" I whispered, "Sure did."

* * *

><p>"Here in lies the seventh kingdom of Durin's Folk." Gloin read in a rough voice, staring up at a carving above the door. "May the heart of the mountain unite all dwarves in defence of this home."<p>

There were runes impeccably carved around a depiction of a throne with a glowing jewel set in the back of the throne high up.

I squinted at the carving frowning slightly and narrowing my eyes. "Very awe inspiring guys… but one quick question…" Balin turned to me smiling kindly as Fili looked down at me curiously. "In what world exactly do you get that from…" I indicated to the carvings which just looked like a load of lines and dots to me. "…From that?"

Balin chuckled shaking his head slightly, "We're definitely going to have to teach you Khuzdul lassie."

"Yeah sweet, lines and dots and shit… all a bit like Morse code really." I muttered still frowning up at the carving, tilting my head to the side slightly as if that would help.

"What's Morse code?" Ori asked in a low voice.

"Erm… it's like a signal language thing. We use it on ships a lot… I was never very good at that either…" I grinned at him. "I know the phonetic alphabet though, that I can do."

"The what?" Dwalin queried looking mighty confused.

_I feel we may be getting a little off track here._

"Yanno, like; Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu. You use it in the army… communicate in codes and shit… or like… to spell crap out over the phone…" At their blank looks I shook my head, "What am I talking about, of course you don't know. Sorry."

As they all continued to stare at me with raised eyebrows, I felt a blush begin to heat my cheeks and I pressed my side into Fili's. I was going to have to stop saying such inappropriate things.

Bilbo, my wonderful little hobbit friend, decided this was the time to cut in. "Erm, what is…_that_, exactly?" He indicated to the carving just as I had done seconds before.

Balin turned to Bilbo, taking a deep breath, still slightly tearful and answered in a weak voice, "The throne of the king."

"And what's that above it?" Bilbo continued.

I stepped forwards and clapped Bilbo on the shoulder, "That pretty little shiny thing would _probably_ be the reason for you, Mr Burglar."

Bifur and Bofur guffawed and the others gave me wry smiles at Bilbo's wide-eyed look.

"What, didn't think this was a holiday did 'cha?" I chuckled slightly. "You have a very weird idea of holidays if that's the case."

Bilbo glared at me in a half-hearted manner.

"The Arkenstone." Balin cut in seriously watching us both from imploring eyes.

"Arkenstone…" Bilbo nodded, looked up at the carving and then swiftly back to Balin, "What's that?"

"That…" Thorin's deep rumbling voice made me jump slightly as Bilbo and I twisted to face him, "Master Burglar, is why you are here."

"Ooosh! Told you so!" I smiled jovially at Bilbo, once again all I received in response was a glare.

The dwarves all began to crowd around Bilbo and Bilbo gulped looking up at the carving once more. I frowned. "Okay guys, let's not get hasty yeah. How about Bilbo can scuttle on down the tunnel, find out if the treasure is there… and yanno, the big scaly lizard we're all really hoping has decided to move out… and then once he knows he can scuttle back up and tell us eh?"

"That seems…" Thorin struggled for a second looking down the tunnel, in such a way it seemed he was battling with himself. "…Acceptable." He finally finished.

* * *

><p>"I… I don't want to go down there alone." Bilbo whispered to the company as he stared at the tunnel. "What if…" He trailed off and swallowed nervously.<p>

"Well, I'll come." I said stepping forwards, "I don't smell right anyways…. Then again this is according to Beorn and not a dragon but I'm totally willing to take that chance." I smiled at Bilbo.

His grateful face was quickly cut off and I was faced with Fili's chest instead.

"Well hello… now if I could just…" My attempt to move around Fili was blocked again. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, staring up at him from under my eyelashes a slightly exasperated look on my face.

"You're going nowhere." He snarled, and yes, I do mean _snarled_.

The feral look I'd seen in his eyes that day in Rivendell was back and it sent a jolt of fear up my spine.

_Kili is most certainly correct, Fili is completely intimidating. _

"Erm… yes I am."

"No Mimur. _You're not._" His words were coupled with a harsh look and the crossing of his two bulging arms in front of his broad chest.

_He looks a bit like an immovable wall…_

My brows knitted together as I tilted my head slightly surveying him. "Fili." I raised my eyebrows and set my jaw.

"Mimur." He copied me.

_Obviously, we do not agree._

"You're being ridiculous." I dead-panned.

"_Oh!_" His voice took on a slightly exaggerated tone, his eyes widened and he swept his gaze over the others. "Do you hear that guys? I'm being-" He stared at me again, eyes frosty, voice low once more. "-ridiculous."

Allowing myself a little inward smile at Fili's use of the word 'guys', _I knew I would rub off on him eventually_, I huffed again. "Well you are."

"You fell of a mountain the last time I left you with _him_." Fili spat and his words made Bilbo flinch slightly.

"Correction, I dived off a mountain. Stupid I'll grant you but-"

"No buts." Fili stepped closer to me making me shrink back against the wall feeling exceptionally miniscule at that moment. "You're not going."

_If I was the height I was in my world right now matey…_

I levelled him with a glare. "Look-"

"Can you two continue your marital spat another time?" Kili asked sliding a hand in between us as if that was going to help any. "Balin's going with Bilbo." He fixed us both with an irritated stare.

_Oh… well when was this decided?_

* * *

><p>Bilbo shrugged and gave me a small smile as Fili moved out of the way. "Thanks anyway Zai."<p>

I grinned back, "No problem Bilbo." Attempting to move forward to hug him, I found myself unable to shift and I comically stumbled backwards. Clearing my throat slightly, I twisted my head to glare at Fili who had my hand in a death grip, obviously preventing me from chasing after Bilbo and Balin.

"Would you just stop?!" I snapped at him, fire in my eyes. "I am _not_ going anywhere. I want to give my friend a hug! He's about to face a dragon for Christ's sake!"

It didn't occur to me at the time, as it hadn't many times before, that Fili had no idea I was cussing at him when I used the term 'for Christ's sake' considering he didn't know who Jesus was. However, my tone must have conveyed enough irritation and annoyance because he let go of my hand allowing me to step forwards and envelope Bilbo in a hug.

"**Go n-éirí an bóthar leat…"** I said, voice thick as I pulled back from him, hands resting on his shoulders. "…And if anything is to go wrong, may you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you're dead. But remember Bilbo, as my dad used to say to me, it's better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life."

Bilbo gave me a watery smile. "Thanks Zai, that is…" He paused for a moment looking oddly amused. "…wonderful advice, actually."

"Always the tone of surprise." I muttered patting him on the shoulder as I stepped back towards Fili.

With a nod to the rest of the company, Bilbo and Balin set off down the tunnel. They'd only taken a few steps when Bilbo stopped and turned back to face me, looking quizzical. "Zai, what was the first thing you said?"

I beamed at him. "I said, May the road rise with you, which means may your journey be successful. Irish blessing mate."

He nodded smiling once more, before taking a final gasp of air and setting off to continue down the tunnel, quite literally heading into the dragons lair.

_If he dies, man will I miss that hobbit._

As they turned the corner and disappeared from our sight everyone stared at the spot, waiting fearfully, until a few minutes later Balin ambled back up the tunnel.

"Well… what now?" I whispered.

Dwalin exhaled heavily and clapped a hand on my shoulder, before taking up a seat against the side of the tunnel, leaning on the rough wall. "Now lassie, we wait."

* * *

><p>Fili and I sat down against the opposite wall. Fili tugged me between his legs and I leant against his chest, quite glad for his possessive streak when I was sure the wall would be freezing. He wrapped his arms around me, adding to my warmth. Kili sat one side of us and Thorin the other, while the rest of the company found other places to rest I fiddled with one of Fili's hands.<p>

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're hands are creepy huge." I mumbled, as I compared Fili's large, stout, thick hands to my tiny, thin, delicate ones.

He nuzzled his face into the side of my neck. "I know Mimur, I stand by the comment that yours are just small though still…" He sighed and the warm air tickled my neck with his beard. "Men lananubukhs menu."

I giggled at the sensation, "What does that mean?" Why he thought it was appropriate to speak to me in Khuzdul I'll never know.

"It means I love you." He replied pressing his lips gently to my neck and sending tingles throughout my entire body.

"Right well in that case, **graim thu**."

I felt his grin against my skin. "What does that mean?"

"It means I love you…. Sooooo…" I took on a tone which obviously displayed my interest in knowing the answer to the next question and the fact that I was badly hiding this interest. "What does Mimur mean?"

He chuckled lightly and the beads at the end of his moustache braids tapped gently against my neck, leaving cool spots in their wake. "Nice try."

"You're no' fair." I mumbled, glaring playfully at the opposite wall.

Kili smiled over at us, flicking a large, smooth, black stone over in his hands. It looked like it had runes on it but I couldn't be entirely sure. "Honestly, you both make me feel queasy."

"Jealousy does not suit you brother." Fili replied smirking as he levelled Kili with a playful look.

"Oh yes," Kili shot back, tone mocking, splaying a hand over his heart. "I'm just positively filled with it. It's crushing me. I really want Zai for my own."

Fili laughed heartily at his little brother's mocking, making his chest rumble beneath my back and then all became quiet.

* * *

><p>"This feels like the beginning of the end." Bofur stated breaking the uneasy silence everyone had fallen into since Fili and Kili's sibling banter had ended.<p>

"**Dá fhada an lá tagann an tráthnóna**," I replied smiling. "No matter how long the day, the evening comes."

"Well aren't you just a bucketful of weird phrases in foreign languages tonight?" Kili smiled, happiness shinning in his voice and eyes as he shoved me on the arm playfully.

I shrugged. "I guess that's the effect of falling off a mountain. I remember dad's Gaelic lessons so much better."

"What lick?... Who's licking what?" Kili glanced around the corridor confused, looking very lost and bewildered.

I laughed lightly, biting my lip to stop it spewing loudly from my mouth at his words. "Gaelic. It's the language they use in Ireland Kils… oh." I gasped for air. "What lick… that is just _too_ much."

"If I remember correctly you once referred to Khuzdul as gobbledygook." Fili dead-panned making all the dwarves eyes flick to me accusingly.

"Honestly Fils… you're a fabulous betrothed... _person_… you're meant to have my back!" I moaned.

"Gobbledygook?" Thorin asked levelling me with a hard stare.

I clenched my teeth and pulled my mouth down in a fearful kind of way. "Well… yeah but… _hey! _I know how 'bout I tell you guys some Irish phrases."

Thorin narrowed his eyes at me.

_What? What's wrong with that… I oh! _

"No, no!" I explained hurriedly. "It's not secret or anything, honestly we don't mind who learns the language. It's all cool."

Thorin swallowed, appraised me for a few more moments, then said, "Well in that case, go ahead."

I grinned, "Okay right, thanks Pops. What do you guys want to know?"

Bifur replied in thick Khuzdul and I stared blankly at him, with a slight laugh Bombur translated. "He said, how about something to do with home? Considering…"

"Sure." I smiled and racked my brains. "Ah I know. **Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin.** There's no fireplace like your own fireplace."

The dwarves smiled at me. "And something to give us hopes for the hobbit, taking into account he's not the strongest." Dori suggested.

"**An té nach bhfuil láidir, ní foláir dó bheith glic.** He who's not strong must be clever." I replied immediately.

It was then that Thorin made a request, lowly he asked, "Something for loyalty..." He frowned slightly and clarified. "...standing together?"

I bit my lip considering this for a while. I knew quite a few, but one stood out. "**Ní neart go cur le chéile**. There's strength in unity."

Thorin nodded seemingly impressed by my choice as Fili used one hand to fiddle with my courting braid.

"Zai you are just brimming with peculiar sayings. Quite the little weirdo." Kili announced ruffling my hair.

"**Aithníonn ciaróg ciaróg eile.** It takes one to know one." I winked at him and that seemed to be the conversation over.

* * *

><p>Fili and I sat in silence a few moments more, while the others muttered and mumbled between themselves.<p>

"I love you." I kissed the back of his hand as I spoke lowly, the words not meant for anyone else.

"And I love you." His breath ghosted across my ear making me shiver and I leaned back slightly pressing myself further into his body and tilting my head to look up at him.

"I can't believe I'm saying this… considering it was never my thing after mum and dad, but I can't wait to marry you."

_Never my thing. Ha! I swore off the marriage situation entirely. _

A grin tugged at the corner of Fili's mouth as he nudged my nose with his own. "And I can't wait to marry you either. I'll be the luckiest male alive, with the most beautiful, adorable, feisty, courageous, intelligent, _infuriating_ wife."

I felt my face flush and I nervously ran a hand over the scar on my face. Fili slapped my hand away, "Scars and all Mimur. There is no one more attractive to me."

My tongue darted out and wet my lips as I gazed up at him. "Then you must know, that there is no one more handsome to me, not in Middle Earth or any other world or place."

As Fili's lips lightly brushed mine, soft padding footsteps came up the tunnel. We broke our kiss and looked towards the entrance.

Bilbo Baggins had returned clutching tightly in his hands, a golden cup.

_What the...?_

"Correct me if I'm wrong..." I stated, voice filling the chamber. "But that does not look like an Arkenstone to me."

* * *

><p><strong>Well what did you think of this? <strong>

**Sorry it was a bit longer to update than normal. Will try to have another out tonight or tomorrow now I'm back in the swing of things but I couldn't decide whether to go book or movie or mix the two here. So I'm going for a bit of a mixture. **

**I hope you liked it and it was worth the wait, even if it's not exactly brimming with either excitement or sweetness, and I will endeavour to post another asap. **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews. **

**Rue :)**


	37. Relationship Wrenches

Turns out I wasn't wrong; the Arkenstone was, as previously presumed, a stone.

"Why have you brought me a cup Master Baggins?" Thorin did not sound pleased that Bilbo had returned clutching one golden cup, not pleased at all.

I narrowed my eyes observing him carefully as we all rose to our feet. _Something is wrong with Thorin. Dwarves may like gold but he's getting greedy…almost…__ill__. _At this frightening thought I finally admitted to myself that there was a high possibility Bard had been right. Thorin was getting affected by Dragon Sickness; just like his grandfather. Pursing my lips I frowned slightly as Fili laid a gentle hand on my hip, if Thorin was getting ill then it was up to us to fix him. The problem was I wasn't entirely sure how you _fixed_ Dragon Sickness.

_Can it even be fixed? Can we cure Thorin? We have to be able to surely, we just have to. _

"No but you don't understand!" Bilbo was desperately trying to get his point across to the dwarves as Thorin glared at him.

"Of course I understand Master Baggins. If the treasure is there I don't understand why you have brought me a cup! We _need_ the Arkenstone." Eyes hard, chest heaving Thorin was struggling to maintain his composure as Bilbo clung desperately to the cup.

From the urgent look on Bilbo's face I realised he must have something important to tell us otherwise he wouldn't have come back so soon.

"Bilbo…" I stepped forwards and placed a friendly and concerned hand on his shoulder, looking the hobbit right in his wide urgent eyes. "What is it?" I asked voice low and serious.

Bilbo gawped slightly struggling for words at the effect my movement had had on the company. Everyone had fallen silent; Thorin included and stood calmly, waiting for him to speak.

"Is long, scaly and terrifying at home?" I prompted.

Seizing onto the opportunity my words offered Bilbo began nodding hurriedly, giving him the look of one of those nodding dogs you often saw in cars in my world. "Yes-" He finally puffed out. "Yes-" Looking me into the eyes, trying to shove the information into me without words by the looks of it he continued. "But Zai that's not it."

"It's not…?" I asked, surveying him carefully through narrowed eyes. He was beginning to sound like a crazy person, but I assumed we would have heard _something_ if he had awoken the dragon so it couldn't be that.

"No-" He huffed and puffed and I took pity on him.

"It's okay Bilbo, just take a minute."

Nodding gratefully to me, I turned away from the hobbit and held my hand out towards the company. "Water?"

The way the dwarves all scrambled to fulfil my request; (all except Thorin, Fili and Kili) you would think I was already a member of the royal family. Like Queen or something. Mind you, maybe that was just the affect Erebor was having on them.

Ori was the first to push a small flask into my hand and I smiled at him, eyes crinkling. "Thanks Ori." Turning back to face Bilbo I offered him the water and he drank deeply for a few moments, before passing it back still panting.

I waited patiently with everyone else when what I really wanted to do was slap him into action, until; at long last, Bilbo was ready to speak.

"Bard was right Zai. The dragon, Smaug, Bard's ancestor hit him. I saw the bare patch."

My eyes widened and I clenched my jaw slightly. I expected Thorin to jump back in but he didn't. "You're sure Bilbo? _Positive?_ You need to be absolutely certain." I gulped as I looked at him imploringly.

This seemed a matter of great importance. If anyone had any hopes of killing Smaug that had to be the target area.

"I am Zai, I am. Right where Bain said it was too. One missing scale under the left wing." The air seemed to gust out of Bilbo slowly after he had imparted this important information.

I breathed in deeply, lips slightly parted, eyes glazed in thought as I lifted my head slightly to look across the top of the hobbit's head.

"Gotta have one _hell_ of a crack shot then…" I muttered. "Alright, okay, we can live with that. Did you see the Arkenstone?" I asked returning my gaze to the hobbit.

"No." Bilbo shook his head his curls bouncing slightly. "But there's so much there…. I'll find it I will. I…I just had to tell you all."

I smiled at him slightly. "You're one brave hobbit Bilbo Baggins, eagar to run off and face a dragon."

"I can do this Zai. I can you have to believe me."

I wasn't quite sure when exactly I became the one in charge here but I rolled with the moment, thinking perhaps the dwarves were just as shocked as I was about the weak spot on the dragon.

"I do believe in you Bilbo. Always have." Bilbo returned my smile with a beaming grin of his own and then placed the cup in my hands.

"I believe in you too Zai." And with that he scuttled back off down the tunnel.

I sighed deeply. Once again, we were left waiting.

* * *

><p>"You will make a fine Queen." Thorin's deep voice seemed to reverberate around the empty chamber.<p>

The others had left to get some fresh air when Bilbo went back into Smaug's lair, muttering about how we'd hear if he needed assistance, but I couldn't. I felt it in my bones that something wasn't right, so I had shrugged Fili off with a slightly harsh glance and I stayed biting my lip waiting for Bilbo's return.

I jumped as Thorin placed a hand on my shoulder. I'd been stood staring blankly at the tunnel where Bilbo had departed, since he'd left ten minutes ago.

Twisting slightly to face Thorin but still keep the tunnel in my peripheral vision, I stared at him wide-eyed.

_Really? That's high praise from Thorin._

"I sense your shock but I speak the truth. You composed yourself better than some who have ruled for a long time indeed. You managed to discover important information and impart a sense of hope and belief in the hobbit. Zalia, you worry for him, like a friend yes, but also in the way a ruler worries for their people. You will make an excellent Queen one day." Bestowing a wry smile upon me Thorin cupped my elbow and tugged me gently outside. "It will do no good to fret on his behalf now." He murmured, giving me a gentle shove towards Fili. "Just as it is doing your betrothed no good to worry over you."

Nodding a tad in acknowledgement of Thorin's words, I whispered a quick word of thanks before stumbling over to Fili. His head snapped to me and air seemed to whoosh out of him as a relieved look crept onto his face.

"We were beginning to think you'd been turned to stone." Kili told me, grin tugging at his lips as Fili enveloped me in his arms and dropped a kiss on my head.

"Something just doesn't feel right." I muttered laying my ear against Fili's chest and letting his strong, steady heartbeat soothe me.

"Mimur, bes' no worry." Fili caressed my back, "Bilbo will be fine."

Kili bobbed his head in agreement his hair shaking slightly with the movement and a serious look adorning his face which seemed oddly out of place. "Fee's right Zai. And anyway, I'm sure we'd hear something if Bilbo was in trouble."

That was when the mountain shook. I latched my arms around Fili's waist as he planted his feet, keeping us steady. Kili gripped the wall to hold himself in place as the tremors began to subside.

"Like that you mean?" I glanced over at Kili who had eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Yes. Exactly like that."

* * *

><p>"Was that an earthquake?" Asked Dori nervously as we moved over to join the others.<p>

"That my lad." Said Balin, tone grave as he turned to face us all, "Was a dragon."

Thorin actually looked worried, his eyes widened and his mouth parted in a slight gasp. He moved towards the edge of the ledge and stood looking down at the ground while the tunnel lit up. I yanked myself from Fili's hold and peered desperately down the opening.

"I think something's wrong with Thorin." I muttered, "Why isn't he running in to help?" Fili and Kili were the only ones that heard me.

"Zai there is nothing wrong with our Uncle." Kili stated arms crossing over his chest.

"How could you even suggest something like that Mimur?!" Fili questioned sounding a little wounded that I had accused Thorin of having any sort of difficulty.

I wanted to argue but I clenched my teeth together and let it go, turning away from the tunnel to face the company once more.

"What about Bilbo?" Ori asked frightfully as everyone turned to face the dwarf in question.

"Give him more time." Thorin replied, voice stern and yet slightly shaky.

"Time to do what?!" Balin cut in. "To be killed?!"

It seemed I wasn't the only one who had noticed something odd about our leader in the last few days. Balin was right on the money with me. He sounded irritated with Thorin for the first time in the entire journey, and that gave me hope. If I wasn't the only one noticing then I couldn't be imagining the change in Thorin's demeanour. However, now didn't seem to be the time to be worrying about Thorin's state of mind, so I tried to let it go, just as I had had to do when speaking with Fili and Kili.

_We have to do something to help Bilbo._

Thorin turned to face Balin and glared at him accusingly. "You're afraid." He stated voice sounding slightly disgusted.

Balin looked affronted under his long white beard. "_Yes_, I am afraid." He replied in a haughty tone, nodding. "I fear for you." He took a step forwards and waved a pointed finger at Thorin.

_Well, didn't see that coming. _

"A sickness lies upon that treasure hoard. A sickness which drove your grandfather mad." Balin sounded desperate and pleading. His voice cracked slightly and I shot a troubled glance towards Fili and Kili. Thorin's grandfather was their great-grandfather and I didn't want them becoming gold obsessed zombies either.

"I am not my grandfather." Thorin replied in a whisper as he turned away.

"Aren't you?" I stepped towards him, eyes narrowed, perfectly aware of what I was getting myself into. Balin at least looked pleased with my courage. "We need to help Bilbo Thorin. When I first met you, you didn't even know me and you saved me. Bilbo is our_ friend_ and you're going to let him die all for the sake of a little gold."

Stiffly Balin nodded in agreement along with Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, they were the ones I saw anyway. However that paled in comparison to the scorching glares I could feel coming from Kili and Fili. Even if they had noticed anything odd, Thorin was still their Uncle.

"You know _nothing._" Thorin snapped at me. "I am the King! I know what I am doing! You have no right to speak to us like that!"

Balin and the other dwarves reared back as Fili and Kili stepped up next to Thorin, either side of their Uncle arms crossed over their chests; unflinchingly loyal. The princes looked slightly uncomfortable under the harsh anger on their faces but I guessed the anger was overriding their better judgement.

I breathed in deeply, clenching my teeth together before letting loose with another scathing remark. "Oh I apologise your majesties. I'll remember my _place_ next time." I spat and with a mocking bow, eyes hard I stormed over to stand next to the tunnel entrance with Bifur and Nori.

"Thorin _that_ was out of line." Balin was trying to defend me as I felt hurt well up in my chest and tears brim in my eyes. "Zalia is _trying_ to help."

"She is a _woman_." He threw me a stiff glare, "That might mean more in her world, but here, before she's even got any sort of status by being a part of the royal family it does _not_. And she would do best to _remember it_." With that he turned back to face Balin and I felt a single tear slide down my cheek as Fili and Kili nodded along with him.

_We might all be under a lot of strain, but there was no need for that. _

"He doesn't mean it." Nori whispered, "He doesn't."

Bifur signed something and Nori nodded, "They don't Bifur says, none of 'em."

I signed a **'thank you' **to Bifur as Nori continued. "But getting back to Thorin. He knows you're different. He _likes_ that you're different. Dis is too, Thorin's sister. And anyway he always says how it will be good to involve female dwarves who want to be involved if only you and Fili can find a good balance. I think he knows they'll only ever be a few special cases but…" Nori paused sighing. "He likes you Zai he really does, he always says how you keep Fili on his toes. How _brilliant_ you are for it. He wants women to have a more prominent role when it's appropriate. It's one of the things he talks about changing."

I chuckled inwardly. _There is no way in hell Thorin Oakenshield would want a woman like me. It'd drive him crazy. He'd much rather things stay simple, but I think I see what Nori means. He's beginning to see the value of woman… not just in a precious way, but in a way they can play major roles too. Or he was… Nori's right though. This world just isn't like mine. I don't think many dwarven woman would __want__ to be like I want to. I think they __like__ being either looked after or left alone. _I frowned slightly. _I prefer a healthy balance._

Pursing my lips but nodding gratefully at Nori I continued to listen to Balin.

"You're not yourself, the Thorin I know would not hesitate to go in there-" As Balin pointed towards the tunnel Thorin cut him off.

Replying in a loud, hard voice, he said, "I will not risk this quest for the life of one burglar."

_Fuck this. I will risk my life for the life of one burglar._

As I slipped unnoticed into the tunnel, after presumably being put in my place, I heard Balin's last words to Thorin. "Bilbo. His _name_ is Bilbo."

* * *

><p>My hurt feet pounded against the corridor, throbbing with pain as I ran as fast as I could. I needed to do something, <em>anything<em>. Someone had to help the hobbit.

As I rounded the corner and practically rolled down the stairs into the treasure hoard I got my first glimpse of the gold which was making Thorin such an asshole.

_Well, saying a little gold might have been an understatement of epic proportions._

The chamber was huge. It spanned out as far as the eye could see and I briefly cast my eyes over the throne, presumably put in for Thror to spend time with his gold wondering, how on earth a dwarf hadn't looked stupid on something that size, as I glanced around. The chamber practically glowed. There looked to be mini-mountains of all number of jewels and precious things everywhere, I scrambled up.

_If I live I am totally coming to forage later, there's got to be some cool stuff in here to see._

Darting forwards it wasn't hard to see where Bilbo was. He was being chased by a dragon; an enormous, winged, scaly, red, _dragon_. I think part of me had always believed that Smaug didn't exist despite everything, because how could dragons exist? Well I skimmed across the gems and precious metal to a complete standstill as I stared up in a sort of petrified wonder at the large beast with the glowing orange eyes. The gold chinked under my feet and for a second Smaug forgot Bilbo. I swear my heart stopped.

"A new jewel for my collection." His voice sent shivers down my spine as I gawped upwards. It was rough and cavernous and terrifying. Honestly it's a wonder I didn't piss my pants right there.

"You…you're a dragon." I muttered unable to think of anything else to say.

Smaug let out a bottomless, guttural chuckle. "Indeed little twinkle. And you are a jewel."

"I…what?" I answered stupidly.

"A new jewel. A shining one. With an extra, a special jewel which only shines in your presence but you are a jewel in yourself. One of a kind in this world, and deathly dear to someone. Most precious in fact." He sniffed the air around me, surveying me with one unblinking eye which took in my sword and apparently me, all at once. "And you have brought my cup back. What a good little gem."

I gulped. "Erm… no problem?" I sounded as uncertain as I felt. Bilbo gaped at me wide-eyed as I threw him an imploring look. He seemed to get the message and continued to search around for the Arkenstone.

"Thank you dear, put it wherever you like."

I dropped the cup immediately. I'd hardly noticed I was still holding it. There was something about staring a dragon in the face that made your mind go decidedly blank.

"I suppose I will have to feed you." He cocked his head to the side. "It wouldn't do to have the jewel loose its glisten or for the sparkle of old tales to die."

"Wh-what old tales?" I asked uncertainly, trying to play the dragon for time like we had the trolls.

"The prophecy of the elves of course. It spoke of you."

I nodded. "I, I know that much, and who…who did you say I was precious to?"

Smaug's eyes narrowed and he let out a loud snarl which sent me sprawling straight onto my arse. "You _stink_ of dwarf, yet you do not smell like one yourself. I can only assume you are special to one of the company whom this _'barrel-rider'_ has come to steal for. That makes it all the more sweet."

I saw Bilbo nervously reach for the Arkenstone. "And I must deal with him." Smaug continued. "So the silver…" He inclined his head towards a small pile just left of Bilbo who froze in his movements. "It will suit you more than the gold. Go look, you will not be stealing anything, for you are _never_ leaving."

As Smaug took off towards Bilbo I gulped but did exactly as he said, aiming straight towards the silver, making as much of a noise and a mess as I could.

_If Smaug thinks of me as a piece of his collection… he __might_ _and that is a big might, but he might, not want to kill me._

"I think our little game ends here. So tell me thief, how would you like… _to die?!_" I gasped as Smaug snapped for Bilbo who winked out of sight somehow, like in Mirkwood, just in time.

"BILBO RUN!" I yelled as I began sprinting down the chamber not entirely sure where I was heading but following the sound of Bilbo's footsteps and the gold that sprayed up behind him. Taking the best plan I had, seeing as I'd decided I was willing to die for Bilbo anyway, I zigzagged after him.

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" Smaug roared and it was terrible. Truly fearsome and as much as I wanted to drop to the floor and whimper I didn't.

"I'm looking around!" I yelled back.

"LIAR!" He shoved me with his nose and I went flying through the air, spinning over the top of wherever Bilbo was and landed heavily in a large pile of gold.

_I was right, he could have killed me, but he doesn't want to._

With this thought in mind I jumped straight back to my feet, which I'm sure would be bleeding again. Smaug let out a long, scorching flame which made me feel sick, even though none of it touched me. I could just about make out coins flipping of their own accord off steps and I dashed in that direction, rounding the corner and banging into Bilbo. We both gave each other frantic but relieved looks as we puffed away for a few seconds. Smaug let off another bone-chilling bellow we... continued to run.

* * *

><p>As Bilbo and I darted up another set of steep stairs, Thorin's voice rang out from behind us. "You're alive. Zalia! You're here too!"<p>

"Well I didn't exactly go bounding down the mountain did I?!" I snarled, still a little peeved as Bilbo yelled frantically, "Not for much longer!" Neither of us stopping.

Thorin swung in front of us. "Did you find the Arkenstone?!"

"You are _joking. _Thorin Oakenshield you _best_ be fucking joking." I exclaimed as Bilbo huffed, "The dragon's coming."

"THE ARKENSTONE!" Thorin boomed his tone hard, making mine and Bilbo's eyes snap to him.

_Thorin is a total dickhead._

His voice dropped to a crazed whisper as we panted in front of him. "Did you find it?"

_No, no he's not. He's sick. Really sick._

Bilbo and I shared a concerned glance. "No," Bilbo replied in a light voice, "We have to get out." And he padded forwards.

Thorin's sword came across the doorway with a clang blocking us. Before he drew it slowly away, pointing it at Bilbo as he began to stride menacingly forwards. Bilbo backed off tugging me with him looking completely fearful.

"Thorin." He spoke beseechingly and desperately. "Thorin."

"Oh dude that is _it!_ Sick or not I've had it with you!" I ripped my sword from its scabbard and pointed it threateningly at Thorin. "You want to go Pops? Let's go."

Bilbo looked highly bewildered.

_I don't think Bilbo knows about Dragon Sickness… or about Thorin being a douchebag._

Thorin glared over at me. "Zalia I would kill you."

"You are crazy right now. I'm willing to take my chances. Sword beats dragon fire death any day." I fixed him with a hard stare and I thought I saw a flash of the old Thorin.

_Perhaps he's not in too deep yet. Perhaps he'll go in and out of things, almost like when you're losing it in your old age. Maybe we just need to work with him, keep him sane. Yank him out of it once and for all._

Suddenly a loud thud cut off our mini stare down and we glanced to the side. Smaug was making his way slowly down the chamber, having finally discovered where we were again.

"_This_ is all your fault. Thanks crazy." I snapped at Thorin.

Our swords were still pointed at each other as the other dwarves ran in and Fili's eyes widened, he and Kili faltered slightly as they looked at us. With one last death glare at each other we swung to point our swords at the dragon.

"Hi Smaug. How've you been?" I asked in a high-pitched, faux nonchalant voice.

The dragon narrowed his eyes at me. "Jewel _move_."

I held my breath feeling fear shoot up my spine. "I'm fine here thanks."

With a low growl and a swipe of his tail Smaug sent me spinning off the platform, corridor, walkway _thing_ the dwarves, Bilbo and I were on until I was shielded behind it.

And then in the cavernous, rumbling yell he shouted, "YOU WILL BURN!" at the others.

They all followed me bounding off the side of the platform and into the gold, we rolled and tumbled and slid down.

"COME ON BILBO!" Yelled Dori as I felt Fili grasp the hand not holding my sword with one of his rough ones as he tugged me up, yanking me along behind them.

"BELIEVE ME NOW?!" I shot at him nastily, glaring over at Kili the other side of him as well for good measure.

"MIMUR I'M SORRY!"

"ME TOO!"

"WELL I SHOULD THINK BLOODY WELL _SO!_ YOU NASTY LITTLE WANKERS!" I shouted as we dived through a doorway, feeling the pure heat against my back from Smaug's dragon fire.

_Honestly, he talks about keeping me alive and then does something like that. Stupid dragon._

Thorin came rolling in, screaming slightly, back of his coat ablaze.

"STOP, DROP AND ROLL!" I boomed, the command coming clearly, and Thorin, to my utter surprise, obeyed.

When he stood he fixed me with a serious glance. "Zalia…"

"Yeah, yeah, we're all sorry, women should totally rule the world because all men are nasty little buggers when they come across anything shiny, yadda, yadda, yadda, I love you guys, you love me can we move?!"

With a stiff but firm nod in my direction, Thorin took off, leading the company. "Come on!" He called moving swiftly.

I shot forwards, dropping Fili's hand and grabbing Thorin's wrist instead, talking lowly to him as we walked. "If you ever point a sword at me again."

He shook his head. "That was a most grave mistake. I cannot… you _are_ my child Zalia." Even in my annoyed and highly panicked state I noticed he didn't say are like, he said are. That made my heart feel like glowing through the anger.

"Well then. Act like it."

And that is how our escape of the dragon's lair began; with Thorin and I reaching an important understanding which shaped the rest of our relationship.

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think?<strong>

**I know that's totally not how it all went down, but then hey if it was we'd be four dwarves less at the mountain and Zai wouldn't exist so *shrugs* **

**I hope you thought I inserted her well especially since everything with her sword and her being from a different world I figured a crazy obsessive dragon that could sense Bilbo's ring could sense that. **

**Hope you liked it. **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews.**

**Rue.**


	38. Hell-fire And Brimstone

We raced through giant stone rooms following Thorin's lead, hoping beyond hope that we could escape the dragon.

_I hope you know where you're going Pops._

I kept my eyes firmly attached to the back of Thorin's head as I slowed until I was level once more with Fili and Kili. I grasped Fili's hand tightly as I sheathed my sword, the jewel on the hilt shimmering as it left my hand. Shaking my head I reminded myself this was no time to be pondering over my sword, we _had_ to escape.

Fili glanced down at me, blue eyes shining with worry and I smiled up at him weakly as we pushed onwards. I'd never really thought I needed anyone once dad had died but now… running from a _very_ angry dragon, well, I wouldn't want to be without each and every one of the company. Least of all, without Fili.

Eventually we began to slow. Laid out in front of us was an enormous expanse of stone walkways and staircases. I gulped and Fili tugged me closer by my hand before letting go and wrapping an arm around me until I was pressed firmly into his side.

_It's like fuckin' Hogwarts without the helpful portraits._

The little flame of hope within my chest was slowly dying. How we were meant to escape in such a maze I didn't know. And from what I could gather the front door was sealed, so surely we were going the wrong way. The only way out was the way we came in. I whimpered slightly and Fili looked down at me, eyes ablaze with determination as he dropped a kiss onto my hair. I felt a cold hand nudging one of my own and twisted to the side slightly to see Kili clutching me comfortingly.

"Shhh, shh, shhh!" Thorin brought the company to a stop.

He needn't have shushed us though. No one was talking. Everyone stood, tense, silent. The air buzzed with fear so thick I almost believed I could smell it. The cold, empty silence made my heartbeat seem like a drum and my breath sound like howling wind. Logic flew out of the window and I jerked slightly in Fili's grasp trying to force my heart and breathing to make no noise. For the first time in my life I _wanted _to be as silent as the grave.

Thorin moved forwards a few more _careful_ steps making a shuffling sound on the floor which seemed so loud I thought my eardrums would burst.

"We've given 'im the slip." Dori whispered, and it came out so echoing and gruff that I whimpered again clutching tightly to Fili, squeezing Kili's hand for dear life and feeling like my knees were going to knock together.

"No…" Dwalin shook his head, "He's too cunning for that."

"So where to now?" Bilbo asked. Everyone was speaking in undertones, voices quieter than I'd ever heard them before.

"The western guard room." Thorin turned to look at us all, eyes wide with excitement, "There may be a way out."

"It's too high." Balin was quick to voice his disagreement, "There's no chance that way."

Thorin shot back. "It's our only chance, we have to try."

_That doesn't sound very reassuring._

Now with the adrenaline dripping from my body, the blood in my veins felt frozen and I shook with fear. Kili swallowed thickly and gripped my hand more tightly still, looking decidedly pale himself, as Fili pressed me about as close as physically possible to his side.

"Sh, Mimur. You'll be fine." His voice was barely audible even though he had dropped his head so his lips rested right next to my ear, and I realised he didn't want to startle me.

"It's not me I'm worried about." My voice came out in a high sounding, girly sort of tremor. Fili and Kili's eyes landed on me brimming with bewilderment.

I hadn't meant to say it. I hadn't even thought I was going to reply, but that didn't make it any less true. I had _meant_ what I said. I wasn't worried for myself. Not really, I was worried for my friends, for Kili, for Bofur, for Bilbo… for all of them really and for Fili. I was afraid; no I was terrified, that something was going to happen to Fili. That he would get hurt. The thought alone was unbearable.

Thorin beckoned us all forwards, stopping me from having to explain to Fili and Kili, from having to voice my fears aloud. For that I was grateful. Voicing them aloud would make them all the more real, it would give them a substance, a deadly sort of substance that I didn't want them to have.

* * *

><p>We crept along the hefty stone walkways as silently as possible. I remained tucked firmly against Fili's side.<p>

"Come on." Thorin, with another whisper gestured us forwards.

We were making good progress, slow, but good. That was until a high clinking sound filled the silence.

_Please say someone dropped that._ I thought as the silver coin fell flat on the floor.

I pushed myself so tightly against Fili it was a testament to his strength that we didn't go sprawling out over the walkway, or worse, off the edge. Kili and I clenched our entwined hands so tightly I wasn't sure who was going to snap whose fingers first.

There came a low growling sound and a deep thudding, I tilted my head upwards so slowly I was surprised it didn't creak, when my eyes finally pointed at what should have been the ceiling, my worst nightmares were confirmed. Smaug's underbelly was clearly visible as he moved across the top of us.

Gasping I buried my face in Fili's chest. An awful feeling of pure jumping nervousness spread through my gut. If Smaug had some sort of special ability for sensing shiny things, for sensing jewels and gems and precious metals… then…

_He can probably sense me… it's only a matter of time before he knows I'm here. _

I gulped, my chest feeling like it was going to burst and I tugged my hand free of Kili's. Slipping out of Fili's hold, I turned to face him. Letting my eyes roam over his face I took in every little detail I could. From the one silky golden hair stubbornly sicking out from the rest, to the small piece of chapped skin barely hanging on to his lips, trailing my fingers softly and delicately over his face, feeling his smooth skin and coarse beard I pushed myself onto my tiptoes and brushed my lips against his. Then feeling oddly calm, I turned away and shuffled silently towards Thorin.

When I reached the dwarf, the first dwarf I'd ever met, gruff and unfriendly, a total control freak, I smiled. He had grown on me so much, so much that I thought of him on the same level as my own father. It was thanks to Thorin I had made it this far and thanks to Thorin I had met Fili.

Thorin narrowed his eyes, seemingly confused, his brows knitting together and I gestured to myself, the jewel on the hilt of my sword and then to the dragon. Eyes widening in realisation Thorin began slowly moving his head from side to side, keeping my icy blue eyes fixed on his I very pointedly nodded, and then I shuffled away slowly, and when I reached the end of the walkway, I ran.

* * *

><p>More and more coins dropped from Smaug's underbelly as the dwarves continued to creep off. Smaug's eyes narrowed, head tilting before they snapped to me and then just as I'd hoped, he gave chase.<p>

"JEWEL!" If the deep rumbling voice of the dragon could sound excited then that's exactly what it did.

I stood now, on a walkway just below his head and stared over at the dwarves who were behind the dragon, everyone except Thorin had frozen, I don't think any of them realised what I was doing.

"You know. I've got a bone to pick with you." I pronounced loudly, one hand on my hip the other pointing accusingly at the dragon. "That fire could have killed me."

"I apologise but-" Smaug stopped speaking as I began to strut off. "Where are you going? The treasure chamber-"

I cut him off, sounding a hell of a lot braver than I felt.

_Who would have thought that Zalia Lucas would ever be facing down a dragon?_

"You know, I've been thinking and actually, this isn't going to work for me. So I'm leaving." Taking one last chance to glance at my friends, I sprinted off along another walkway as fast as I could manage.

"NO!" The guttural roar that burst from the dragon had me trembling and pushing myself faster all at once.

I whipped around corners, dived up and down staircases and across walkways with absolutely no idea where I was going or even if I was going anywhere. It was a good thing Smaug didn't want to kill me, because he had ample opportunity to burn me to a crisp. It was also a good thing that I was so small; it made it a lot harder for him to catch me. I managed to run until my lungs were burning.

I didn't know where the others were and I didn't care. The last thing I wanted to do was come across them again because that would mean I'd led Smaug right to them. As I rounded another corner and darted up what felt like the hundredth walkway I glimpsed a small group of the dwarves about to run out of a corridor, one I was heading towards. Stopping dead and spinning around I came face to face with a _very_ pissed off dragon.

"You're not leaving." It was like he didn't feel the need to shout. He didn't say it with anger. He said it with arrogance, as if I couldn't possibly escape him which, to be fair, was probably true.

"Changed my mind."

Thorin, Bilbo and Balin appeared in another corridor behind Smaug, Fili, Kili and Bofur in one to my right and Oin, Gloin Bifur in one to the left. Then seconds later Ori, Dori and Bombur appeared under an arch and Dwalin, and Nori in another corridor right by Smaug's tail, this could not be good. I must have unintentionally headed right where they were going.

Smaug narrowed his eyes for a second, lowering his head so one large orange iris was right next to me before he finally replied, "You know where the dwarves are."

I shook my head forcefully, hair whipping me in the face. "Don't be stupid it doesn't suit you. I don't even know where _I_ am." I gestured exaggeratedly, pointing a hand to my chest.

"LIAR!" The force of the bellow sent me sprawling on my arse with a frightened 'eep' and suddenly the dragons' claw was positioned right above me.

_Well done Zai this is fantastic. Who knew dragons were so good at knowing when you're lying._

"You will tell me right now, I do not want to scratch what is mine but-"

"THAT'S MY DWARF!" Yelling the exact same words I had at the spider, Fili jumped from his corridor and I felt my heart drop.

Smaug whipped around to face the brothers as Kili stepped out and just as he got ready to let lose a flame, Dori jumped out on another walkway with Bombur and Ori in tow. "BEHIND YOU!"

Twisting to face them as they ran towards the dragon, weapons in hand I scrambled to my feet. Smaug let out a ferocious growl and thundered towards the group and then Dwalin and Nori appeared, Dwalin shouting at the dragon fiercely. They were all spaced out enough that it was making Smaug turn each time.

"MIMUR!" Fili gestured me over pointing frantically at the walkway linking his, Bofur's and Kili's spot with mine.

I took off, travelling as fast as my legs could carry me until I collided with his solid chest.

"What _did_ you think you were doing?!" He exclaimed angrily as Bofur led us on down yet another high walkway.

"Saving your life!" By this point we were jogging, holding hands blindly following behind the others.

"_That_ is not up to you!"

"I don't want you to get hurt!"

"AND I DON'T WANT YOU WITH A DRAGON!" With a roar to rival Smaug's, Fili stopped, banging my back against a stone archway and attaching his lips to mine.

His tongue pushed its way into my mouth, swirling and tumbling around and I urged mine into his responding with just as much force and passion. My hands latched into his hair tugging forcefully at his braids just as one of his rough, tough hands grasped my jaw. The beads on the ends of his moustache banged against my chin and his beard scratched harshly as we were pushing ourselves together so firmly. I bit down on his lip and he nipped back. When we pulled away Kili was gaping at us both dumbly as our chests heaved while Bofur grinned. Fili scowled down at me and I glared upwards defiantly.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous of a dragon."

"If you knew better you'd _know_ I'm jealous of a dragon. _You are __mine__._" The possessive, protective gleam in his eyes made me tremble with some strange form of desire and I stepped closer until our chests were touching again.

"And _you_ are mine. I have every right to protect you."

"And _I_ have every right to envy the beast, he _cannot_ have you. Not even if it would save my life and the rest of the companies. _You are not a sacrifice I am willing to make._"

"GUYS!" Kili's shout startled us both, our heads snapped to him as he regained his wits. "Can we _possibly_ do this another time?!"

Clenching our jaws in tandem Fili and I entwined our hands turning to Kili who rolled his eyes before darting off after Bofur once more, Fili and I hot on his tail.

* * *

><p>As we rounded another corner into an enormous corridor deafening clanging and banging sounds filled the air, it didn't sound good. Dwalin and Nori were stood trying to heave something off of the ground by the looks of things, and Bofur, Kili and Fili tore towards them, jumping in to help.<p>

"PLEASE TELL ME THAT IS _NOT _THORIN STOOD ON SMAUG'S NOSE!" I screamed.

It was a pointless exclamation if there ever was one, because there, clear as day, was Thorin, stood on the exact spot the dragons' jaws closed, down what appeared to be a mineshaft.

_Brilliant, just fucking perfect._

Nori hefted his axe and with a clang that probably should have burst my eardrums he smashed a piece of metal machinery until gears started whirling and Thorin was dragged upwards hanging onto a chain of some kind.

Fili and Kili with a loud yell dragged him onto the stone platform sticking over the shaft he'd been down seconds before, just in time to escape the scorching flames which shot out.

"GO!" Thorin shouted, leaping up and shoving us all forwards down yet another stone corridor.

We came out between strikingly high columns and into another dark room, this time though everything seemed super-sized. Big, round metal things towered over us.

"Are those ovens?" I asked frowning as I stared at them, head tilted to the side slightly.

Kili smirked at me, "I believe the word you're looking for is furnaces."

"You are kidding?! They're huge!" I exclaimed, slightly shocked.

_Then again, this is what dwarves __do__ Zai. You shouldn't be surprised. _

I shook my head, dispelling the irritated voice and stepped forwards. "Woah."

"The plan's not going to work!" Dwalin growled striding towards Thorin. "These furnaces are stone cold."

"We had a plan? I was just winging it." Bilbo shot me a withering glance, Bofur snorted patting me on the back and Fili shook his head as he clasped my hand.

"He's right!" Balin announced his voice echoing around the chamber. "We've no fire hot enough to set them ablaze."

"I'd like to point out…" I cut in voice practically as loud as I could make it without shouting, "We have a _dragon_. I'd say that's some pretty toasty fire right there."

Thorin smiled at me, teeth shining, "Zalia is right! We only need to entice Smaug into letting off flame."

With that he strode purposefully towards the columns until he grasped one with each hand and leant through slightly shouting. "I did not look to see you so easily outwitted!"

_The man's mental._

"Thorin shut the hell up! You are going to…_oh…_okay I totally wasn't planning on it going down like this but I'm game." I grinned, dropped Fili's hand, jogged towards Thorin and yelled loudly from behind my own column.

"THANK GOD I'M AWAY FROM THE GIANT, STINKING LIZARD! I'D MUCH RATHER A HUNDRED DWARVES!"

A loud snarl ripped through the air and Thorin slyly winked at me. _When he's in his right mind, Pops is totally awesome, playful at all the strange moments just like me. How did I get two great dads?_

"You have grown slow…" Smaug rose seemingly from nowhere as he scaled the wall, clunking down heavily with each step. "…and _fat_ in your _dotage_."

Craning his neck so he faced us now, Smaug looked truly menacing, with a small 'eep' my courage deserted me and I hid behind my column.

"_Slug_." Thorin finished in a disdainful whisper before turning quickly to the others, "Take cover!" And he too dived behind a column.

The company ran towards us and Fili had just about reached me as the flames roared past, either side of the column. The stone under my back turned scorching but I didn't dare move. Fili pressed his body so completely against mine I was surprised we didn't melt into one being.

And then the flames stopped, the furnaces sprang to life, black smoke billowing from the tops. I coughed.

"Holy shit, seriously?!"

Kili shot me a wry smile from behind his column, "Get used to it Zai!"

"BOMBUR GET THOSE BELLOWS WORKING! GO!" Thorin ordered as we all darted out of the way back into the room.

Smaug had obviously caught sight of me with Fili as he smashed into the metal partition, denting it massively. "That's my jewel!" He boomed.

I tugged helplessly at Fili who turned back to scream, "OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

"That can be arranged _dwarf_." Spitting out the last word Smaug smashed into the metal once more.

"FILI!" I yelled desperately.

_Honestly why argue?! The last thing I'm going to leave him for is a dragon! MEN!_

Swinging round slightly he nodded and yanked me forwards further into the room. Thorin stopped us, grasping my arm. "Zalia, with Bilbo! Fili find your brother!"

Fili looked as if he was about to argue but at my pleading look he merely inclined his head, quickly pecked me on the lips and took off.

"Up there!" Thorin pointed forwards, gesturing me and Bilbo along. "On my mark, pull that leaver!"

With hurried nods Bilbo and I ran forwards. "What are we even trying to do?!" I asked hastily as we scaled steps to the stone platform the leaver was on.

"I'm not sure!"

Bilbo and I shared a short frightened glance before turning our attention back to climbing up the stairs. I heaved myself up the last ones with a groan and Bilbo and I stood panting for a few moments before rushing towards the leaver and standing, staring at it above us. We both gave a nervous gulp.

With an ear-splitting screeching sound that made me cringe, Smaug finally broke through the wrought metal. I thought I'd heard Balin and Dwalin mumbling about 'jiffies' or something but within all the confusion and terror I couldn't be sure.

Smaug's underbelly seemed to glow orange as he entered the room with a loud thud and a great growl. I swallowed nervously once more eyes darting to Bilbo and then to Thorin, almost itching for the signal. We were going to have to jump to reach it and I now realised why Thorin had sent us both, it would likely take both of our strength, hell, probably both of our weights, to yank it down.

Smaug thudded through the middle of the furnaces, turned his head past Bilbo and I and stared straight at Thorin.

"NOW!"

At the roar Thorin let out Bilbo and I sprang upwards, clinging to the leaver and heaving ourselves up which subsequently brought the leaver crashing down. Water gushed out, (from where I don't know), spewing from what looked like dwarven mouths carved into the stone. It hit the dragon with such a force that it put him out. It, quite literally, put the dragon's fire _out_.

It took all my might to resist the urge to cheer and I was pleasantly shocked when our feet hit the ground again and, still hanging onto the leaver, Bilbo lowered one hand to give me a high-five. Releasing one hand as well I slapped his, in pure excitement.

_We might actually survive. Nice plan Pops._

We'd obviously set something in motion because great water wheels began turning and there came chinking and grinding noises, but I didn't really pay attention to what. With a growl Smaug had reared back, flapping his great wings and it was all I could do to keep my eyes open against the air pressure.

* * *

><p>Soon, too soon, Smaug came creeping back. His claws making loud thuds as Bilbo and I let go of the leaver and scrambled towards the staircase, and now he looked <em><span>furious<span>_, blue flames exploded as things hit him in the side. I didn't know what the others were throwing but the bright flashes didn't seem to be making one jot of a difference to the dragon that had his eyes firmly trained on Thorin.

Quite suddenly carts from across the top of the chamber which had been suspended on thick ropes came crashing down on Smaug's neck and I tilted my head up enough to see Gloin, Bifur and Oin in a cart each having just cut the one's below them free. The dragon didn't stay down for long. He writhed around, catching the dwarves line of carts around his neck just as Thorin yanked on a large chain letting liquid gold spill from the furnaces and into indents in the ground.

_Like mini rivers..._ Honestly in a less life-threatening moment, it would have been mesmerising and beautiful.

Bifur, Oin and Gloin were thrown from their carts and tumbled onto the floor, narrowly avoiding being thrown into one of the gold streams.

"Lead him to the Gallery of the Kings!" Thorin yelled jogging off again and I frowned.

"Where's that?!"

Bilbo shook his head in response; obviously he didn't have a clue either. We ducked as a cart came swinging over our heads and completely destroyed the leaver.

"HEY!" Kili screamed hurling something at Smaug. "HEY UGLY!"

"THAT'S MY DWARF! WATCH IT!" Fili shouted at the same time hurling something else before they both took off running.

As Smaug twisted and turned Thorin raced around dodging him, pushing a wheelbarrow.

_What the fuck? Why has he got-_

My thoughts were cut off abruptly as the dragons' tail smashed against the platform Bilbo and I were on and it began to crumble. I screamed and Smaug turned, head twisting in my direction, just as I lost my balance he shoved forwards and caught me, I was now sat atop a dragons head.

_Oh joy. I see no way this could be bad._

"HOLD ON!" He boomed.

Honestly, he needn't have. "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" Sarcasm obviously came hand in hand with fear for me.

I grasped as tightly as I could to some of the scaled spikes sticking up from his head. I didn't think the best place to be was on the dragon, but I also didn't plan on tumbling off and falling to my death.

As Thorin landed on the wheelbarrow in one of the golden rivers Smaug roared, swinging his head wildly around and twisting so he faced Thorin. I shut my eyes and clung on for dear life feeling sick to my stomach.

_Don't hurl, just don't hurl._

Bilbo's platform had finally toppled completely and he thudded to the ground with a yell, catching Smaug's attention.

"NO!" I yanked on Smaug but it was as if the dragon didn't feel anything.

"YOU ARE KEEPING NO-ONE!" He thundered towards the hobbit and my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest, we were gaining on him.

Bilbo scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

"I'M KEEPING THEM ALL!" I growled back, pitching forwards and putting my hands over Smaug's eyes…. Or rather... _in_ his eyes.

_That must hurt._

He bellowed once more and stopped, shaking his head until I lost my balance and had to grip desperately to him again.

"YOU ARE NOT!" With another thunderous snarl he continued after the hobbit. I just had to hope I had brought Bilbo enough time as I clung on precariously positioned; a slight wrong move and I'd go plummeting down.

* * *

><p><strong>So hope you guys liked it?<strong>

**This was in danger of becoming super long if I continued so I decided to stop here :P, sorry for the cliffie again! **

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews! **

**Rue :)**


	39. Prophetic Flights

Smaug chased after Bilbo, thumping along rather heavy footed and snapping at the hobbit whenever he got the chance.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I swung out and kicked with one of my legs at the dragon but honestly it was like the beast felt absolutely nothing at all.

_If I can just…_

I struggled for a few seconds, noticing that my swing had brought me that bit closer to being perched properly once more. After a few minutes I was safely sat atop the dragon's head again, if safe is even the word… perhaps a better phrase would be I had a firm seated position, and I grasped tightly to the dragon not wanting to fall off.

Smaug, it seemed, was ignoring me, because he continued after Bilbo as if I hadn't said anything at all. I might have been angry if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't really want to make the dragon any madder than he already was, and if Smaug hadn't picked _that exact moment…_ to take flight.

"WOAH NOT COOL MAN!" I yelped and gripped even more firmly to the dragon as he splayed his enormous wings and took off, launching himself upwards and flapping after the hobbit.

_This would be a lot less terrifying if I was in Eragon or something! I'm no dragon rider! _

Trying not to be sick, I focused all my attention on staring ahead and deciding why I liked Eragon's dragon, Saphira better than Smaug. _She was nicer for one._

That is until staring ahead made me notice something all the more worrying.

"Stop." I said quietly to the dragon. The great beast merely chuckled, a deep, rumbling sort of sound which made me jiggle on his head. "Smaug stop!"

I became more and more nervous because Smaug was not slowing.

"THAT IS A FUCKING WALL!" My heart beat rapidly and my voice rose to a frightened squeal. "STOP!"

We were flying headlong towards a wall which had gaps in covered by thick tapestries but gaps none the less. Unfortunately it was abundantly clear that we were not going to fit through one of those gaps.

_Oh Jesus!_

I tried to rip my eyes from the wall we were seconds away from crashing into but I couldn't. Much like when I'd been free-falling from the mountain I couldn't tear them away from the impending smash.

With a mighty roar and one last flap Smaug launched us forwards and we hit the wall with a great thud. Cracks and bangs echoed in the chamber as the stone crumbled and large pieces of what had been the wall came tumbling down.

"HOLY FUCK! YOU ASSHOLE!" I lent as lowly over Smaug as I possibly could hoping beyond hope that he would avoid the debris which would surely kill me if it landed on me.

A giant, thick, heavy tapestry almost floated down, except it was a lot faster and more dangerous than that. "BILBO!" I screeched as the material landed atop the hobbit.

_Please don't let it have smushed him._

The dust that rose from the tapestry as it hit the ground filled the room like a mist for a few seconds; I coughed harshly, making my throat burn and my injured ribs ache. Smaug, obviously not affected like I was, swept into the giant hall and landed with another huge thud.

Spinning around and making me grasp to him for dear life as he yelled loudly at Bilbo, who was still hidden under the tapestry, "YOU THINK YOU CAN DECEIVE ME _BARREL RIDER_?!"

Lifting the material carefully Bilbo was barely visible his head poking out from underneath it.

"HEY! I said leave him alone!" I exclaimed trying to lean forwards again.

A short glare from one of Smaug's terrifying orange eyes made me halt immediately.

_I think if I put my hands in his eyes again he might bite them off. _

I gulped and leaned back, the dragon seemed oddly satisfied by this. I risked twisting slightly to get a proper view of the dwarves.

_Where are they all?_

Thorin was clearly visible stood atop a great statue in the making, by the looks of things. I frowned slightly, guessing this was his grandfather and then caught a flash of blonde. Fili poked his head around the side of the statue and he didn't look at all pleased that I was riding the dragon. I lifted one hand slightly and gave a light-hearted wave. At the dark look which passed across his features, I gathered I was in trouble.

"YOU HAVE COME FROM LAKETOWN!" Smaug began to move his head slowly from side to side and with a slight 'oof' I fell forwards and gripped one of his spikes tightly again. "It's some sordid scheme hatched between these filthy dwarves and those miserable tub-trading Lakemen! Those snivelling cowards with their longbows and black arrows. Perhaps it is time I paid them a visit."

At the end of Smaugs growling speech I felt fear fill my veins and my blood seemed to turn to ice at the thought of one; leaving the mountain on a dragon, and two; all the innocent people in Laketown, especially the children like Tilda.

"What?! Woah Nelly, I totally am voting for staying here! Here's good! No flying for me thank you!" My high-pitched, fear filled voice didn't go unnoticed by the dragon or the dwarves.

"You will be coming with me!" Smaug quickly dashed my hopes as he turned to leave, about the same time as Fili yelled. "MIMUR! _She's going nowhere!_" He spat at the dragon.

Neither the dwarf, or the dragon paid each other any mind whatsoever. In fact, it was Bilbo who stopped Smaug's attempt to leave.

_Thank the Lord for the hobbit!_

"WAIT!" He screamed as Smaug began clopping out of the chamber, me still astride him. "YOU CANNOT GO TO LAKETOWN!"

_Not the most convincing you've ever been Bilbo lovie._

"You care about them do you?" Smaug swept his long neck round and suddenly, or so it seemed Bilbo and I were staring into each other's wide, fear filled eyes. "Good. Then you can watch them _die_." He finished on a foreboding whisper and swung round again to continue leaving.

My body shook involuntarily. Personally I preferred the loud angry Smaug, this quiet seething dragon seemed a lot more deadly for some reason.

He crept towards the exit making dull thudding sounds with each step he took.

_Oh my good God. I'm totally screwed._

Just as I thought all was lost Thorin's voice rang loud and clear throughout the chamber. "HERE!"

Smaug, to my greatest surprise, stopped.

"YOU WITLESS WORM!"

_Well, here we go again._

* * *

><p>With a low seething sort of growl Smaug twisted his head again and I was facing Thorin who stood atop the statue looking quite regal and strong, considering his opponent was a dragon.<p>

"You." Smaug whispered.

"I am taking back what you stole!" Thorin snapped.

My eyes widened as my eyebrows rose.

_Not sure this is the best way to stop anything awful happening. _

With echoing clomps the great dragon strode back towards Thorin… if dragons can stride that is.

"You will take _nothing_ from me dwarf. Although I _will _take something from you." He gave a loud resonating chuckle and tipped his head, glaring at Thorin and sending me sprawling forwards on his cranium. "I already _have_."

"Uh…No." I muttered managing to push myself up and stand atop the dragons head, loosely clutching a spike. "No we are _not_ referring to me as property thank you very much! I belong to no one!..."

I trailed off and dwarf and dragon alike seemed to wait in silence for me to continue.

"Except Fili… I can live with _belonging…_" I spat out the word which left a foul taste in my mouth, "To Fili. However that is because I _want _to belong to him!"

Smaug shook his head slightly making me 'eep' and grab at a spike two handed again, although I did manage to remain standing.

"Not anymore." Smaug taunted.

"Dude I will step in your eyes!" I snapped. "Do _not_ test me."

"So much fire, so much violent energy in such a small gem!"

"Referring to me as jewellery…. Also getting old." I grumbled glaring down at the great beast below me, his red scales shimmering slightly.

"I laid low you're warriors of old." Smaug continued speaking to Thorin, having decided to ignore me apparently.

I let out an annoyed huff, especially as I caught Fili grinning slyly before he popped his head back in behind the statue.

"_I_ instilled terror in the hearts of men!" With a jerk we were moving towards Thorin, and it was a lot harder to keep my balance standing, that was for sure.

_Who knew I'd ever have to deal with this?! Still…perhaps some more practice of Thandir's balance techniques wouldn't go amiss…_

"I am King Under The Mountain."

"Dude, low blow. And so totally bullocks." I announced as I rose through the air until Smaug's neck was fully stretched and I was staring directly at Thorin. "Hi Pops! Look how tall I am!" I tried to send him an encouraging grin.

Thorin's lips tweaked slightly but he kept a mainly straight face as he focused on the dragon. "This is _not_ your _kingdom._" He spat back. "These are dwarf lands! This is dwarf gold! And we will have our revenge."

We continued to rise until Smaug's eyes were level with Thorin and from the foreboding nature of his speech, I realised I might be in dire need of moving if he had some sort of plan. Thorin yanked at the chain he was holding and shouted something in Khuzdul. There came the obvious sound of snapping metal along with the clink of chains and I gulped.

"Shit, wank, fuck."

My eyes darted around, if any of that shit was going to land on the dragon, I did not intend on being hit.

_Perhaps I can jump and grab a tapestry, cling for dear life…_

The rock mould… for that is what it had been, fell away as Smaug stepped back slightly and Thorin swung up on a chain.

"Wow!" I gasped, completely dumbstruck. Smaug and I were left facing a highly detailed shimmering golden statue of Thror… or at least _I_ thought it was Thror.

_So that's where the golden rivers went…_

"That is totally wicked." The grin nearly split the sides of my mouth and I wondered for a second if standing atop a dragon was having a bad influence on me, when quite suddenly, some of my chemistry lessons hit me full force.

_That __cannot__ be set._

Fear shooting through me I turned and ran hastily along the dragons head, slid down his neck as if it was a giant slide, thumped onto his back, yanked myself to my feet and sprinted along his spine. Honestly it was a miracle I didn't trip. It was _lucky_ Smaug was so enthralled that he didn't move.

Then bending my knees and exerting all the force my legs contained I leaped. Flailing wildly for a second I managed to clutch one of the great tapestries and hang on for dear life, just in time it seemed, for that was when the statue bubbled.

* * *

><p>With a thunderous pop, the first bubble burst from the statue and the head of the king began to cave in on itself. Molten gold, slipped and slid as it came out of place and crashed down like a wave towards the greedy dragon that had been so enchanted by it only seconds ago.<p>

Smaug roared rearing up on his hind legs and trying to step backwards out of the way of the gold-tsunami but it was all in vain. The liquid metal rushed around his legs and dragged him down to the floor. I hissed as it splashed upwards from all of Smaugs' thrashing movements and two tiny tear-drop shapes landed below my left eye. I wanted to wipe furiously at the skin I was sure I could already feel bubbling but it was no use. If I tried to wipe at my face I would fall into the gold and that was really not the way I wanted to go.

Rushing over the dragon like a tidal wave the gold dragged Smaug under completely and for half a second all was silent.

"Did we seriously just drown a dragon in gold?" I murmured more to myself than anyone in particular, even though my quiet voice carried through the empty chamber like the chink of a pin dropping in dead silence.

With an ear splitting roar Smaug launched upwards, bursting out of the gold, soaked in it and I turned myself into the tapestry. I didn't want any more gold landing on me if I could help it.

_Guess not._

My stomach bubbled over with fear at the pure rage displayed on the beasts face.

_We are in deep shit here._

As I twisted out of the tapestry the dragon's claw came up and clasped so tightly around my already hurting ribs that I thought I was in danger of snapping in half. He ripped me away with such a force that I felt as if I had rug burn on my hands.

"REVENGE!" He growled his voice so loud I was surprised the mountain stayed standing. Thorin's eyes flew to the size of dinner plates as I whimpered when Smaug's curled claws went smashing down to the floor, myself within them. "I WILL SHOW YOU REVENGE!"

"PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!" I screamed.

The only answer I got was another throaty roar.

_Well shit son…_

"MIMUR!" Fili yelled staring at me, launching forward looking hopeless as the others pulled him back.

"FILI! _FILI!_" I shrieked. My body thrummed with fear, practically burning in terror and tears poured down my face as I cried out in desperation.

Logically part of my brain _must_ have known there was nothing Fili could do, but the more illogical part of me longed for him to dive in and save me. I _knew_ he couldn't but I still wished he would. For once in my life independence was completely gone and damsel in distress was in full swing.

Quite truthfully it tore me apart, because I _knew_ the one time I had chosen to scream out in absolute and utter terror for Fili to save me somehow he couldn't do anything, and I knew that was ripping him into pieces.

"GOD! JESUS! MOTHER MARY! BUDDA! ALLLAH! MAHAL! ERU! ANYBODY?! HELP!" As Smaug pounded out of the chamber and my eyes were ripped from the deep, sea blue of Fili's that I had come to love so much, I didn't care what God helped me. I just wanted one to take me safely back to him.

* * *

><p>With an almighty boom Smaug and I came crashing out of the front of Erebor. Smaug took a few more hurried pounding steps that left my head ringing before he launched up into the air.<p>

I focused on trying not to hurl as he corkscrewed through the air, making the gold fly off of us both in a beautiful mist which kind of looked like fairy dust.

_Smaug is one fucked up Tinkerbelle._

I gulped as the wing I was clasped at the end of flapped down powerfully, making my stomach drop and I let out a wail as if I was on some terrifying amusement ride.

"SMAUG SERIOUSLY?!"

"I AM FIRE!" Smaug growled as we began to gain height again. "I AM _DEATH!_"

"And as wonderful as that is…"

"Do not fret little gem, I will not drop you." Smaug kept his eyes firmly focused on the blackness in front of us.

I couldn't really focus on anything, considering I would shoot up and then plummet again every couple of seconds. It made my head spin sickeningly.

"Look without being funny… why didn't you kill me? I've been right awful. If I was you I think I would have dropped me by now."

It wasn't that I wanted the dragon to kill me. Not at all, but I had to do something to keep my mind off how I was feeling and off our inevitable arrival in Laketown.

_I really wasn't planning on heading back this soon…_

"You have no idea the wonders you offer me do you?" Smaug's fiery eyes glanced at me as I rose to eye level, before I plunged down once more.

"If you're speaking of the pretty elven words then no, I have no clue. You might fill me in though…"

It was a long shot. A _really _long shot. Which is why it surprised me when Smaug hummed in agreement and began to talk. My mouth parted slightly in completed bewilderment as I hung on desperately to the dragons every word.

"A warrior shall appear when time is of the essence, the warrior will be known when taketh the jewel, winning the loyalty of the entwined sword. The warrior will bring great fortune to the race with which she findeth family but not without great toil or pain."

_That explains why crazy wanted me to stay with him too then… what the fuck referring to me as a warrior. Not a ready-made one that they were probably expecting… Winning the loyalty of the sword… what in the world?... _

I stopped musing to continue listening to the dragon, straining my ears. "A disagreement will finally occur near a river. The feisty sapphire fighter will finally embrace with the arrogant lizard when the days grow long for the sake of darkness. When battle rages an injury will finally take place with the powerful boy at the coming of fear. The warrior must not break. The pale giant must wince and the sapphire warrior will shimmer while the sun sets in the age of light. A duel will happen at twilight in a time of war. The resentful warlord must not mend and the sapphire fighter must not bend. She shall not sink and a miscommunication will occur at the coming of royalty. If the sapphire fighter wins all will be well and prosper, until the coming of darkness when she must fight once more…if she loses darkness will descend immediately and naught will be safe until all is destroyed."

Smaug stopped speaking for a moment, giving me time to process the new information, before suddenly asking in quiet, low tones, "You understand now Jewel?"

_I have a headache. I thought prophecies were meant to rhyme and be easy to remember and shit. Harry Potter had it fucking easy. That thing was like an essay._

"Erm… it was a bit wordy… I thought it was meant to rhyme and stuff…" I decided it couldn't really hurt to tell the dragon the truth at this point.

"Perhaps it does in Elvish." Apparently Smaug didn't feel like imparting any more words of wisdom.

_A duel…pale warrior, no giant pale giant…lizard… Well the lizard must be Smaug… maybe the pale giant is Azog…_

I gulped, this was all too confusing, especially while I was flying through the air and could hardly remember what Smaug had said as the freezing wind bit at my ears, whipping my hair around my face and into my mouth.

"Could you tell me one more time?!" I called over the rush of the wind.

Smaug obliged and I did my best to commit it all to memory. I usually had a pretty good memory. I could remember everything word for word that had been said around me, but I had a horrible feeling this was going to be one of those things I forgot simply because I needed to remember it.

_Perhaps if I can just remember it, just long enough to get back to Erebor, then Ori can write it down. And then, then we can all sit and work everything out. That is of course if Smaug doesn't try to kill anyone…_

I felt a sharp pain shoot through my ribs as Smaug grumbled above me and the faint sound of screams reached my ears. It seemed we were approaching Laketown.

"You don't have to do this!" I yelled in one last ditch attempt to save their skins. "THIS ISN'T THEIR FAULT! IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM!"

Smaug's grin merely seemed to widen the closer we drifted. "SMAUG!" I called out desperately. "THERE ARE CHILDREN DOWN THERE!"

"I didn't care sixty years ago, I don't care now. I will teach these Lakemen a lesson, _once and for all_."

I shuffled, attempting to roll myself from side to side in Smaugs grip as his shadow encroached upon the town. "SMAUG PLEASE!"

"I have told you once before that you are keeping no one. That applies here as well."

_He literally just doesn't care._

I'm not sure what worried me more, that he didn't care or that I was no longer trying to make him. As we flapped over the town and Smaug wheeled around, obviously looking for the place he wanted to drop me; screams split the silence.

_If there is any __possible__ way to end this foul dragon, I will do everything in my power to make sure it happens._

Without warning Smaug suddenly slapped a wing down and released me. I fell from his grip and landed with a great thump on the top of a high tower.

"LET NO ONE FIRE THAT BOW!" And with that he twisted again, his underbelly beginning to glow.

I pushed myself up and glanced at my surroundings, it seemed he had dropped me on the tower with the windlance. Just as I strode over to inspect the weapon, a crashing sound from behind me had me jumping and drawing my sword. Bard and Bain had appeared on top of the tower holding what seemed, suspiciously, like a black arrow.

"Bard I have never been so glad to see anyone in all my life."

_Shit just got real._

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope this was worth the wait guys. Been struggling with it all night, trying to make it fit right with everything I wanted in there and what not but also get it out. I'm sorry if it's not as good as previous chapters what with me having a break for a few days and getting a bit rusty, but that was my life getting in the way for once. <strong>

**Hope you liked it anyway and will let me know what you think! **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! **

**Rue!**


	40. Separated Pride

"You look like you're on the run." I stared at Bard as I sheathed my sword; he did look a little flustered to say the least.

"And you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. It seemed us humans still had some sayings we used no matter the world we were residing in. At least I could tell Ori it wasn't just me who used such odd turns of phrase.

"Sigrid and Tilda?"

"Are safe…." Bard trailed off his eyes following the destruction as Smaug smashed at buildings with his tail, his body beginning to glow as he prepared to let loose a flame. "For now."

"What did you burn your face on?" Bain bless his little heart, studied me quizzically. "Looks like tear drops."

"Molten gold actually." I grinned, "Right guys here's the plan…" I announced and not a second too soon as Smaug shot his first burning flame at the town. The screams pierced through me like knife wounds.

_This is our entire fault_.

"Bard, notch that arrow. Bain, when your Da's ready I'm going to scream, I want you to tackle me. Smaug, hopefully will turn and try to fly over. Bard I hope you know what you're doing because Bain was right, there is one scale missing under his left wing but… you need to have one _hell_ of a shot."

Giving out orders so confidently made me feel oddly like Thorin. I suppose I know now how he must have felt on a daily basis. When you felt responsible for something, it made you responsible and you just had to act, making the best possible decisions in the middle of the moment.

_Good thing too, I'd over think this if I had time. _

I blew out a puff of air and ran a hand gently over my already highly dishevelled hair, pushing my fringe out of my eyes. "Sound good?"

"Sounds like the best plan we have." Bard replied, moving swiftly to the windlance as Smaug let out another burst of flame.

The screams embedded themselves deep inside my very core and I shook thinking of all the poor people. I knew immediately that that was a sound I wouldn't forget, not if I lived for a thousand years.

"Ready Zalia." Bard announced.

"Okay, hold it there." I stared out at the great red beast, following him closely with my eyes. "Wait for it…" I muttered, "Wait…" Smaug swung round so that to get to me he'd have to have his left side facing us. "NOW!"

I let out the loudest, longest scream I could possibly manage as Bain dived at me. I wasn't even pretending once he'd made contact because to be honest the way he hit my ribs, well, I'd be surprised if a few more weren't broken. Smaug reared round with a god–awful snarl and I whimpered below the boy.

As I noticed the hulking shadow drawing level I bucked under Bain and rolled us over until I was on top of him. "Pretend to fight back!" I hissed.

I might not be able to protect the people of Laketown, which now was really just ash and splinters on the water, and I may not be able to protect Bard but I was going to do my level best to protect Bain from the dragons rage.

Getting the idea he began to struggle underneath me and I struggled back as if we were really fighting. It was like a play fight with much more effort put in to making it look realistic. Bard had yet to fire the windlance and I was becoming more and more nervous as Smaugs shadow got closer and darker.

_I just have to trust Bard. When he sees his opportunity he'll seize it. And he __will__ make the shot. He __has__ to. _

I won't deny a part of me felt a little bit guilty for deceiving Smaug when the dragon honestly seemed to think I had his back. However, another part of me didn't feel guilty at all. If anything the other half of me felt slightly vindictive. If Smaug wanted to hurt innocent people, tear me away from my family well then… to be honest he deserved what was coming to him really.

_He's been residing in that mountain too long already… shit, I really am channelling Thorin aren't I?_

I smacked Bains hand into the floor and he lifted his other arm digging me in the ribs. I drew in a long shuddering breath. That had fucking hurt.

Smaug's roar made the tower we were on shake and I struggled to maintain my acting composure as I noticed all colour flee from Bain's face. I could only guess that the dragon was above us.

With a twang unlike any sound I'd ever heard before Bard picked his moment. Bain and I shot up from our fighting positions to antsy to hang around, watching desperately to see if the arrow hit its mark… it did.

Falling like a lead balloon Smaugs body suddenly went limp and he began to drop. What was worse is he was right above us.

"ZALIA COME ON!"

"I CAN'T SWIM!" My frantic eyes must have appealed to some part of Bard because he grabbed me, pulling me close and taking hold of Bain by the scruff of the neck, dived over the side of the tower.

We plummeted for mere seconds before we hit the freezing water. I felt like ice needles were filling my body, I began to drift downwards as I was ripped from Bards grasp by the force of the impact and for just a second, I let myself think that dying wouldn't be too bad. If I gave up now then that was that.

The funny thing about drowning is as soon as you start to lose oxygen you become sleepy, after a little thrashing about that live or die response cools and you're quite happily to blissfully float off into the afterlife. Your lungs no longer burn as the water gushes down your throat; you no longer ache or feel pain. If anything it's almost soothing. So soothing in fact that as my eyelids fluttered closed I was quite content with dying, drowning. The one issue I had with it was that I didn't get to say goodbye to Fili. My brain tried to make my body fight but it was like the signal system was broken. All I could do was gently drift to the bottom of the lake and feel as if I had a lot of unfinished stuff I was sure I should be pissed about dying before completing. I just couldn't for the life of me recall what.

* * *

><p>I felt an unbearably heavy pounding on my chest. My fuzzy brain couldn't sort anything out. Numbness seemed to be spread across my skin and I wanted to shiver with the cold but I couldn't seem to move.<p>

I wanted the pounding to stop. It _hurt_. Especially with my ribs already feeling so fragile after my trip off the mountain and in the dragons claws. I felt like frowning no matter how unable I was to follow the action through.

_Surely if I was dead I wouldn't be feeling like this._

Suddenly my eyes snapped open and I launched upwards water pouring from my mouth, bursting like a river freed from a dam. I coughed feeling as if I was scraping nails up the inside of my throat and gasped for air, which felt much like swallowing the nails back down.

"I thought you were dead." My watery eyes managed to focus on a highly panicked, extremely pale looking Bard. "I thought… and then…"

"I'm cool man." I rasped pushing myself unsteadily to my feet. It seemed as if we were on a boat, with many of the other men from Laketown. "Where are we going?"

"To the lonely mountain. We have collected weapons, we noticed when the dragon awoke and prepared for this eventuality although it seemed preposterous at the time… especially for me, I was in jail, but here we are. Anyway, we are heading there now, to the mountain." Bard paused and stared at me imploringly. I drew a blank, exactly what he wanted I didn't know, especially with my fuzzy brain not quite working properly yet. "We need to speak to your King Under The Mountain. Laketown will require gold to help us rebuild, and I will be requesting my ancestors money that was taken from Dale, we _need_ to rebuild. To move on." Bard sat with his knees drawn up in front of him, staring ahead blankly.

_Not sure how giving them money is going to go for Thorin and co. Really depends if Thorin is bonkers or not when we arrive…_

I glanced around, Smaug's body was clearly visible laying across the remnants of Laketown with gems and jewels still embedded into his scales, but no one made a move to try and remove any of them. I'm not sure it was out of respect, perhaps reverence and fear.

"Who's that?" I asked pointing towards some more boats which seemed suspiciously finer than those we were travelling on.

_If I didn't know any better I'd say they were elven._

"Those are the boats of the elves."

_Well wank stain._

"Does creepy really have to join us?"

"I'm afraid so…" Bard's lips tweaked at my obvious disdain for the elven king. "You should rest."

I pursed my lips but nodded in agreement with him, "Hey Bard, thanks for like… saving me and stuff."

He grinned. "I do not wish to be the person to explain to your dwarf that you have died. I would _not_ wish _that_ on _anyone_."

I smiled back. "No I suppose not… Your children?"

"Are all safe… Bain wanted to accompany us but…"

I nodded, "I get it man, the dwarves barely think I should be allowed anywhere near the dangerous shit and I'm an adult."

"But Bain is a boy, soon to be a man."

"Don't be playing the sexist card now Bard, next thing you know you'll be saying it's cause he's taller than me." With a wink I took a blanket he offered me and settled down on the hard deck in the setting afternoon sun for a long, much needed sleep.

_If I'm going back to Fili I best not look as if I'm knocking on deaths door when I arrive. That won't help things along at all._

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next day the first thing I did was squeal.<p>

"URGH!" I jerked backwards with such force that I smacked my head against the wooden side of the boat.

"Oh owww." I moaned bringing my hand up to rub at the sore spot. "Not the best thing to wake up to. You are a total creeper."

Thranduil was bent over his face inches from where I had been sleeping peacefully. At my reaction he straightened clasping his hands behind his back and towering over me, the men from Laketown and the elves on the boat all watched our interaction with interest as I scrambled to my feet, gripping the hilt of my sword tightly.

_He doesn't look overly pleased to see me again. Well buddy, feelings mutual._

"I take it you have not reconsidered my offer?" He sneered nastily down at me, giving a disdainful glance to my braid.

"No, can't say I have." I shook my head, hands crossed over my chest trying to mentally stretch my body to be as tall as possible.

Obviously it didn't work; I stayed as minuscule as ever as the elven king leered over me. With a wave of his hand he pronounced, "Very well." In a nonchalant voice, turning away and striding across the deck to the walkway joining the two boats.

Honestly I was shocked. I stood absolutely flabbergasted for a few seconds gaping after him.

_That seemed much too easy. _

A dull throb made my upper arm ache as it was grabbed roughly and I was dragged along behind the king.

_Ah I see, because it was._

"HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I stomped on the elf's foot making him curse and release me. "You ain't no king here, run back to your little forest or something with the rest of the bugs!" I unsheathed my sword.

Thranduil narrowed his eyes and his soldiers advanced towards me menacingly.

_Well this is just marvellous. _

"What do you think you are doing?" The strong, low, deep voice that sounded from behind me sent a cold shiver down my spine.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Bard approaching a dark look across his features as he glared at the elves.

Thranduil seemed to transform right before my eyes. "We were merely discussing options. Miss Zalia obviously does not wish to remain with us, despite the friendly offer, and so I was thinking that perhaps she could be a bargain of some sort."

"HOLD UP!" I slammed my sword into the deck angrily splintering the wood a bit and making some of the Laketown men jump. "You seriously want to _trade _me? To _trade me__?_" I scowled at Thranduil with his passive face and stupid spindly crown. "Not gonna happen."

"I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU WOMAN!" The rage in his voice made part of me want to jump back but the other half of me stood tall and proud.

"THEN LISTEN!" I shouted. "You might think you're the be all and end all here elf boy but you are _not_. You do not get to decide what to do with me like I am _cattle._ _No one_ gets to decide that not my betrothed, not my king and most certainly not some _pissy_ woodland _elf_." I spat the words scornfully.

_Really starting to see why the dwarves hate their guts. _

"I don't know how things work in elven society _bub_!" I stalked over to Thranduil pushing my way through the guards and growl-jabbing at his chest, putting enough force into the poke that he stumbled back slightly. "But let me tell you in _our_ society women make their own choices. No dwarven man would even _think_ of treating me in such a manner and if you had one ounce of their respect, honour and gentlemanly conduct neither would you. You once referred to my people as _scum_. Well I think we can safely say it is _obvious_ who the real scum is here. You _disgust__ me; you should be __ashamed__ of yourself._" By the time I finished my little speech my chest was heaving.

Bard stepped up from behind me and as hot blood coursed through my veins I had about enough sense through the red mist to notice that this stopped many elves from trying to lynch me.

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY HONOUR?! MY MORALS?! MY RESPECT AND MY CONDUCT?!" Thraduil bellowed.

"Because quite honestly one dwarven man has more of those qualities in his _big toe_ than you do in your whole body."

That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Thranduil swung his sword up and I pivoted landing mine on his with a deafening crash. The elves surged forwards and for a second I really thought I was doomed until Bard stepped in, yanking me back by the scruff of the neck and placing himself firmly in front of me.

"Women are not bargaining chips. We do not trade people for any amount of wealth."

Thranduil breathed heavily, seething. "She insults me! I am a King!"

"And to be honest mate, as annoying and irritating as Thorin Oakenshield can be, with all his unfriendly gruffness and stubborn nature, I would rather call him King any day at least he has manners." I smiled slyly and Thranduil roared swinging for me again.

I raised my sword and his clashed against mine. Bard once again, pushed me back.

"WILL YOU JUST LET ME AT HIM?!" I yelled.

"I am trying to help you." Bard hissed back. "Now…" He turned to face Thranduil. "I am sorry to offend you but this is something I cannot bend on, your business with Zalia will be precisely that when she has been safely returned to her company until then, she stays unharmed by your hand and all of your peoples."

Thranduil grit his teeth and reluctantly lowered his weapon. "Then keep _her _away from _me_." And with that he span on his foot and marched across to his own boat.

"I feel you just made a powerful set of enemies for your people." He grinned down at me, "But it was a most courageous act. I am sure the company would be proud of you."

"I really don't give two fucks right now. Later I'll care but right now…he can go to hell." I sighed as I sheathed my sword and ran a hand through my messy hair, as the boats began to move again. "It's not as if they like him anyway."

* * *

><p>The next couple of days went by relatively easily. The first day we spent entirely on the boats landing at nightfall, and camping out. I stayed by the fire most of the night with Bard just chatting away and taking it in turns to sleep. It seemed we were both aware that Thranduil and his elven army was sharing the same space as us and this weighed heavily on both of our shoulders.<p>

My feelings for Thranduil really hadn't mellowed much. I mean, I didn't want to cut his head off as soon as I saw him now or anything but I still detested the king with every fibre of my being. I caught glimpses of Tauriel and Legolas the next day but it was awkward to say the least. We couldn't exactly be polite to each other when their king hated my guts and I dissed him in front of well… kind of everyone.

The Laketown men, for one thing were a lot nicer to me. They kept their distance but were oddly respectful when I spoke to them. From what I could gather most of them thought I was a complete basket case, but then, none of them had experienced everything I had in the last few days.

The only slight bump in the road was my inability to ride a horse. Not only were the things huge and terrifying but it gave all the elves ample opportunity to sneer and laugh at me.

_Fucking elves._

Bard helped me onto his beast and it was almost as scary as being on Smaug again. I gripped tightly to the saddle as we rode along and eventually we arrived at exactly the place I had camped with the company before, halfway to Dale.

I didn't speak to Bard much, I thanked him for having my back a few times but it was obvious my thoughts were elsewhere as were his own. More pressing matters swirled in our minds.

The closer I got to Fili the more my body seemed to thrum with excitement.

_I've never longed for someone so much in my life. I feel physically achy without him around. It's like my heart is heavy and it __hurts__._

I'm pretty sure a few times that the sapphire in my sword glowed. I now believed it was a sapphire anyway. I could have been completely wrong. I knew the elves would be likely to know but I thought it was perhaps best to wait for the dwarves to answer my question. The elves probably wouldn't want to help; especially when I basically slam dunked their King in a slagging match.

Eventually we reached the rocky terrain that indicated we were close to Dale. The armies continued leading their horses and made much slower progress than I would have believed possible. It also amused me to discover that I was the most even footed in this group because a few days ago I had been tumbling down the rocks myself.

As we passed Dale and Thranduil very nearly crashed to his royal ass I let a small laugh escape me and I skipped on ahead. They could have all the balance of the world in the woods, the elves were in my lands now.

_Our turf to be exact. I hadn't quite realised just how inducted I've become into dwarven ways_.

It shocked me a little to find a sense of pride in my dwarven heritage as if I'd always been like this.

_If I didn't know any better I'd say my dear friends had brainwashed me._

After what seemed like an age the front gate of Erebor loomed up out of the distance. How they'd managed to fix it when I was pretty sure Smaug and I had destroyed it roughly a week ago I didn't know. But it was amazing craftsmanship none the less.

My heart beat like a drum as the two armies set up camp. I knew they weren't here on friendly terms with the dwarves but the thought of seeing Fili again filled me with such a warm sense of relief, that I could barely hold myself together.

I imagined his shimmering blue eyes, his perfect straw coloured hair. A crooked half smile tugging at his lips, braided moustache swaying slightly. His broad shoulders and bulky arms crossed over his beautiful chest. His strong, powerful legs making him look so immovable. The crinkle in his nose, the gleam of his teeth, his deep, soothing voice which rocked me to the core... I sighed. Seeing Fili couldn't come quick enough for me. This was the longest I'd been without him in Middle Earth and I didn't intend on lengthening the separation.

After what seemed like years of my life the camps had been prepared and Bard was selecting men to join him as he approached the gate. I was not pleased to learn Thranduil would be accompanying us with some of his own men. When everyone had finally been given their orders we could move.

* * *

><p>We walked slowly towards the great stone doors.<p>

_This is torture._

I was mostly hidden behind the men of Laketown as I scuttled on nervously full of excitement. Quite suddenly, or so it seemed to me, we were stopping.

"STATE YOUR BUSINESS!" The shout rang out and to my surprised I saw Bilbo standing on the battlements staring down at the company.

"THE ELVEN KING THRANDUIL AND THE LEADER OF THE MEN OF THE LAKE AND RIGHTFUL KING OF DALE, BARD, REQUEST AN AUDIENCE WITH THORIN OAKENSHIELD, KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN!" Bard yelled, voice carrying strong on the wind.

I bounced on the balls of my feet as I waited for any sort of response.

_Please answer guys, you have to answer._

And then, as my stomach tied itself in knots, with the loudest grinding sound imaginable, the doors began to open.

* * *

><p><strong>Oooh I'm such a bitch. But anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter, a bit of time for Zai to just be Zai with no company around her eh?<strong>

**I promise they'll be back next chapter. **

**Hope you liked it. Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews.**

**Rue :)**


	41. A Few Reunions

The creak of the doors was almost deafening in the silence across the armies. I hopped nervously from foot to foot, biting my lip and trying to get a good view, which was impossible.

_Urgh I __detest__ being short!_

How a dwarf was meant to see anything surrounded by humans and freakishly tall elves I didn't know.

"What do you want?" Thorin didn't raise his voice but quite honestly he didn't need to. It rang out reaching the ears of every person and elf alike quite clearly.

"I have come to request reparations. I have killed the dragon Smaug, I shot him down with a black arrow and now the people of Laketown need to rebuild." Bard paused in his speech sounding mighty and confident. "I have also come to request that what is rightfully mine is returned to me. I desire the gold taken from Dale so I might rebuild the city as its rightful ruler." He stopped speaking.

I imagined him fixing Thorin with a challenging stare.

"Oi!" I yanked on the side of one of the Lakemen's tunics. "What's going on up there?"

It appeared I'd found a nice one because he replied in a friendly side whisper, "Thorin is thinking. Bard is staring. The Princes are flanking the King."

I let out a little whine as I tip-toed.

_As if this will help at all_.

I was right; I still could see no more of what was going on than before. I waited listening for any sort of sound of agreement or disagreement, none came.

"And we request what is rightfully ours too." Thranduil's voice made me narrow my eyes and cross my arms, a scowl across my face.

_Don't give elf boy anything Thorin._

"Do you forget you held us captive?" Thorin must be glaring it up a storm right now.

_Bet he's giving elf boy the Thorin Oakenshield special, the death stare… it should sound cooler than that… like the… glower… I know! The 'Guillotine Glower' yeah that's totally Thorin's special hate glare. _

"Do you forget that this man helped you?"

_Low blow Thranduil, low blow._

I gulped; this was probably not going to turn out well, although Bard did totally deserve his money.

"I think one such as yourself should realise we have more pressing worries right now. Those concerning our own."

_Is he talking about me?_

I jumped again but got no higher than the Lakemen's shoulders. It certainly seemed as if he was talking about me. I hoped he was anyway. I was missing the company a lot more than I thought I would.

"And I will most certainly pay for the kindness of the men of the lake in due time but not one piece shall I part with which Smaug has stolen from others. I will not parlay when I do not know what you would have done if you had arrived and found us dead and I will not parlay at all with the Elvenking Thranduil." Thorin's announcement seemed to send a shock through the Lakemen.

It didn't shock me.

_Thorin's a bit mental again then… he __should__ pay Bard. _

"You're kin will suffer for your greed Thorin Oakenshield." Thranduil announced menacingly.

"Who are you to threaten me?!" Thorin boomed.

I tried to step forward. It really seemed someone needed to calm this whole situation down before shots were fired; however, a harsh tug on the back of my cloak almost chocked me. I span angrily letting my arm swing freely in an uppercut.

_Okay, being small; not so bad. _

I grinned widely when I realised my uppercut had landed right in the elves private parts. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. I ripped my sword from my scabbard, placed my boot over his neck and pointed my sword at his balls. "Try it again and I _swear_ I'll cut them off."

"YOU!" Thranduil roared obviously having come to prove his threat was not empty, however he found me less incapacitated than he had hoped.

I beamed. "Me!" A sly smirk spread across my face, amusement and sarcasm rife within my voice. "Would you look at that?"

Suddenly Bard was next to me glaring over at the Elvenking. "I have told you before; it does not go this way."

Thranduil seemed mighty pissed, his face got redder and redder by the second.

"I think it is time to take our leave." Bard whispered, hunching over slightly but keeping careful eyes trained on Thranduil.

"I concur."

* * *

><p>I can't describe the feeling of utter delight when I finally broke out of the ranks of the Lakemen and saw Fili again. His face lit up immediately as if someone had struck a match and Thorin and Kili found it hard to hide their grins. The ridiculous amount of warmth that spread through my body heated my entire being and before I knew it I barrelled forwards, sprinting as fast as my legs would carry me.<p>

I didn't give a rats ass about the armed elves behind me because Kili had his bow and I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. It seemed to take an age until _finally_, smile almost splitting my face, I launched myself into Fili's open arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and burrowing my face into his neck. His beard grazed my soft skin as he urgently pressed light kisses to my exposed neck. One robust arm supported me, holding me gently under my bottom and another curled round my back crushing my body to his.

"Mimur." It came out as a slight gust of air, which puffed against my exposed skin and made the colour rise in my cheeks as tingles covered my entire being, imploding from within.

I blinked back tears. "Pssh, Dragon… Piece of piss Fils, no problem whatsoever, I eat them for breakfast… Didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did ya?"

A half-laugh, half-sob escaped his throat lowly.

"I hope you will consider our requests." Bards voice broke through our tender moment but Fili and I still didn't move.

"I will consider nothing from those who try to threaten us to receive payment." With that last booming answer the conversation was at an end.

I lifted my head, just enough to mouth a 'Thank you' to Bard who nodded stiffly at me before the great stone doors swung shut behind us as Fili carried me inside.

* * *

><p>Back in the stone chambers of Erebor I expected Fili to put me down, he didn't. I leaned backwards slightly to gaze quizzically at him but as soon as I was back far enough his lips connected with mine.<p>

Fireworks exploded in my head as our tongues met and I knew there would be no greater pleasure in my life than kissing Fili, not even if I lived for the whole of eternity. I tangled my hands in his hair, winding the thick blonde strands around my fingers and tugging slightly, eliciting a delighted sort of growl from him. We broke away panting and stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before he lowered me gently to the floor.

With a sigh he ran a thumb across the two tiny teardrop burns under my left eye. I winced. He pursed his lips, his eyes swirling with concern as his brows knit together.

"You just keep picking up injuries Mimur." He murmured, softly brushing his lips over the burns.

"For one thing, I'll have you know that's probably very unhygienic." I winked, "And for another, this was totally the gold you're all so enthralled with that did this to me. I knew there was always a reason I preferred silver."

Fili shook his head making his moustache braids sway the beads glinting in the low light. "Only you could react in this manner."

_Sometimes it's really hard not to laugh when he speaks so formally._

He began to shift slightly, hunching over with a grin to kiss me again. As is always inevitable this is when Kili, moment killer extraordinaire, decided to strike. "OKAY MY TURN!" He leaped at me.

I sprang back with a frightened squeal, shoving Fili roughly in front of me and hiding behind his back. Kili almost fell flat on his face as he tried to stop mid-leap. The fact that he remained standing was astounding.

"That's not very kind Zai." Kili crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at me.

"With all due respect bro, my ribs are still broken."

Comprehension dawned slowly; sometimes Kili could be so absentminded.

_Such a dunce._

"Oh well…." He smiled and opened his arms wide, "Gentle embrace to show my appreciation for the fact you are still living then?"

I chuckled as I stepped around Fili and allowed Kili to envelope me in his arms. "You know in my world we call this a cuddle."

"A what lassie?!" Gloin seemed to think I had just come out with one of the dirtiest words on the face of the planet.

I pulled back from Kili and advanced on him, "What, wait… what are you do- oh… oh dear."

If he could have dropped his head into his hands he would have. As it was he stood awkwardly while I softly clasped his body to mine. "See doesn't this just make you feel all snuggly and loved?"

I swear his cheeks turned the colour of a London bus.

"I didn't think it was possible to miss you any more than I had been but you give me a new reason every time." Bofur grinned, and strode over pulling me away from Gloin and embracing me himself. "I want one of these 'cuddle' things."

I chortled as I wrapped my arms around my friend.

"This is actually rather nice." Bofur commented and soon everyone wanted a cuddle.

Dwalin and Thorin preferred to refer to it as a tender embrace but I wasn't going to complain. I'd missed them too much to be worrying about my odd turns of phrase right at that moment.

* * *

><p>When Thorin and I let go of each other he fixed me with a much sterner look than the one warm one I'd been receiving seconds before.<p>

"Zalia what happened?"

I sighed, "Do we really have to go over this now?"

From the firm, unwavering gaze I got my answer.

"Take that as a yes." I muttered bitterly before raising my voice to a more appropriate level, "Fine, Smaug flew us to Laketown, told me some shit but we can go over that later just trust me it's not important right this second." Thorin, for once, didn't argue. "Then we arrive and he drops me on the windlance tower all like, don't let anyone fire that thing. So Bard comes crashing up with his son, we concoct an epic plan, said plan works, Laketown is destroyed but Bard did kill the dragon. Oh yeah and he saved my life… like… twice."

"WHAT?!" Fili was by my side in an instant checking me over for any injuries he might have missed.

"It's all cool Fils."

The glare I received told me otherwise.

_Or maybe it's not…_

"It is most certainly not 'all cool' Mimur." He snapped tone hard, before sighing and softening his voice as my face fell. "What happened?"

"Well first Smaug was going to come crashing down on us and he yanked us off the tower…" I trailed off engrossed in thought before picking back up. "Oh wait I guess he saved my life three times."

Fili merely sighed deeply again, putting a hand across his forehead, massaging one temple with his fingers one with his thumbs. Kili was trying hard not to smile, as were most of the rest of the company... except, Thorin and Bilbo. Bilbo looked concerned and Thorin just waited patiently for me to finish answering his question.

"So yeah, any road up… Then I almost drowned in the lake and he pulled me out and got me coughing up all the water in my lungs… not a nice experience…" Fili got paler and paler the more I spoke.

"Oh and then I may have had a _slight_ disagreement with the royal ass Mr Creepy Elf out there and he might have diffused that situation." I finished shrugging, flush with colour.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a slight disagreement Zalia my dear." The croaky old man's voice had me spinning on the spot. There stood Gandalf in all his glory.

_Looks a little rough actually… but still…_

Bombur and Bifur were doing something to shut the doors behind him.

"It was totally slight. Nothing major." I replied giving Gandalf an imploring look, the wizard merely grinned down at me.

"I would say it was a bit more and I think you know that. Considering he raised his sword to you…"

"HE WHAT?!" Fili's roar made me drop my head into my hands. "HOW DARE HE?! I WILL CUT HIS HEAD FROM HIS MISERABLE ELVEN SHOULDERS!"

_Nice one Gandalf mate. You're here two minutes and look what you've created! _

"Fils…" I sighed; calming him down this time was clearly going to take a while.

* * *

><p>I wasn't wrong, it took the best part of an hour to get Fili to calm down enough to realise I was fine and even that came with repercussions. We were currently all sat down in the chamber everyone had been using to sleep in, eating a selection of cold foods courtesy of Gandalf.<p>

I was sat on Fili's lap, his bulging arms wrapped possessively around me as they had been since I had managed to convince him to sit. He glared at anyone who made a slight move towards me.

_A week ago this would have been the most irritating thing in the world, after being away so long… it's oddly endearing… rather sweet._

Having had enough food to leave me comfortably full I snuggled into Fili, nudging him with the top of my head until I had it resting soothingly on his shoulder.

"What did take place with the elven king exactly then?" Asked Bilbo.

_Shut up. Just shut up._

"I told you already, nothing!" I snapped. "It was just a little difference of opinion is all."

Gandalf snorted into his sandwich. "It was certainly more than that."

"You know, if you know so well what happened, why don't you tell them huh?!" I meant for this to be an empty threat. Gandalf wasn't around and so he couldn't possibly know what had happened. I overlooked the fact that Gandalf knew everything however.

"I shall enjoy reciting the tale indeed."

_Bloody wizard, fucking knows every damn thing…_

"I believe Thranduil offered Zalia a chance to join the elves of the woodland realm once more and she declined." The others look to me for confirmation and with a sigh I nodded.

"I seem to recall that the next second an elf tried to take her captive grasping her firmly by the upper arm and dragging her towards the king."

Fili growled pushing the sleeve of my shirt up forcefully until a hand shaped bruise was revealed.

"Mimur…" He snarled.

"Okay I seriously had no idea that was there." I countered defensively gazing up innocently at him.

Thankfully Fili believed me and he seemed to let it go for the time being as his eyes settled on Gandalf once more. The wizard grinned from under his long beard. I narrowed my eyes.

_Gandalf the grey you have one sick sense of humour._

"How did you get away?" Bilbo asked me reverently, making the company look to me for an answer. I shrugged.

"Stomped on his foot. Apparently it hurt." I couldn't stop the sly grin that spread across my face.

"Then?" Kili prompted.

Gandalf picked the story back up. I had to admit the man had a voice for storytelling. "Then Bard appeared to ask what was going on. Thranduil wanted to trade Zalia back to you for the jewels he desired."

The company looked absolutely disgusted.

"He _what?!_" Dwalin growled.

I chanced a glance at Fili who looked too furious to speak without spluttering.

"I believe Zalia screamed at him, something about how a mere elf _boy_ was not going to be treating her like cattle, he was no king here and even her betrothed or her own king did not treat her in such a manner, and I'm pretty sure there was more cussing in there…" The wizard trailed off. "She called him an irritating… no a….hmmm." He frowned.

"Pissy. I called him a pissy woodland elf." I dead-panned which had Kili snorting into his sleeve.

"Ah yes." Gandalf grinned at me, before continuing as if he was making comments on the day's weather. "She then poked him rather forcefully informing him that he didn't hold an ounce of the respect, honour or gentlemanly conduct of dwarves; who wouldn't even consider treating her in such a way." The wizard twirled his beard absentmindedly around his fingers as he continued. "I believe she called him scum in a roundabout sort of manner."

"You never?" Nori bobbed up and down excitedly, getting quite caught up in the story it seemed.

I grinned, "Actually I did, like it wasn't roundabout really at all."

Ori smirked; it looked quiet odd on his sweet face. "Brilliant."

"Then…?" Thorin brought us all back to the present as Fili's hold constricted around my waist slightly.

"Then Thranduil yelled at her about insulting him. Asked how she could do such a thing and I believe she told him that one dwarven man has… what was it again?"

I exhaled heavily. "More of those qualities in his big toe than you do in your whole body." I recited in a monotone voice.

"Well done lassie!" Gloin cheered, Oin joined in too.

_Not sure if Oin can hear this or if he's just following Gloin's lead... _

"Bard stepped in once more and Thranduil made a point of announcing his position as a king loudly, at which point Zalia exclaimed that she would rather have Thorin as a king because he has manners."

At this moment even Thorin let a small smile slip.

"Then he stormed off in a huff, and yeah, now he might totally want my head on a platter." I finished, wrapping up the story for Gandalf. "Totally worth it."

I was surprised to look up and find every single dwarf in the room grinning at me rather than glaring. Fili included.

"Mimur, this is why I love you. You foolish, courageous, infuriating, defensive, prideful woman."

* * *

><p>After a short time which I spent sitting in embarrassed silence while the others chatted I finally managed to find my voice again.<p>

"So what have you guys been up too?" Kili grinned at me as Fili pressed a short kiss to my head as he listened to Bofur.

"Dain's Army is on the way. Thorin contacted him when we found out the elven army and the army of men were approaching." My soon to be brother-in-law shot me a small grin.

"Do you really think it's going to come to that?" My voice sounded low even to my own ears, it shook a little as I stared at Kili. "I mean, they're nice people… mostly."

The thought of killing an actual person made me feel queasy and disgusted. It was an abhorrent idea. The men from Laketown had families and the elves were only doing as they were told. For some reason killing orcs was different. Orcs and goblins and wargs were evil and cruel by nature. Not perhaps by their standards but by ours; anyway they would kill us gladly. However, elves and men… they were a different matter entirely.

_I don't know if I have the stomach for it… and there must be a way to fix this without fighting surely. _

Kili frowned, it was like he wasn't sure what to say for the best. "Well Zai…I-"

"Best not to fret Mimur. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. Dain can help us rebuild, all dwarves will help Erebor when it is needed." Fili murmured.

I gave a short nod and buried my head into his shoulder with a slight yawn, now I thought about it I hadn't slept properly in days.

_I don't understand… wasn't Dain the one who wouldn't help in the first place… or was that a matter of honour?_

"You look tired Zai." Bilbo shot me a concerned look from across the room.

"Actually now he mentions it you really do." Nori commented squinting at me.

"When was the last time you slept lassie?" Balin asked in a grand-fatherly manner.

I yawned and rubbed a hand over my face.

"I should say it would have been the last night she was here before the confrontation with Smaug. Am I right my dear?" Gandalf asked kindly.

"Sorta… I kinda slept after I nearly drowned… sorta…"

Gloin frowned at me. "Now lassie you should know better than that."

"My brother is right. Sleep is highly important you know!" Oin announced.

_Seems like we're all going to weigh in on the not sleeping business then…_

"I'm always telling Ori so." Dori added nodding enthusiastically.

"Hey! I get enough sleep. I'm _not_ a child brother." Ori moaned.

Dwalin cocked his head as he surveyed me, "You do look positively exhausted lassie."

"Why haven't you been sleeping Zalia?" Thorin asked looking rather concerned himself.

I shrugged. "Kind of thought that Thranduil might try to off me, and Bard's great and all… I mean he tried to take it in turns with me but…" I shrugged.

"Trust is hard to give when it concerns your life." Bombur stated seriously as I trailed off.

"Well brother that was most wise." Bofur looked quite taken aback and Bifur grunted something in Khuzdul but as always that left me completely out of the loop.

"You should really sleep Zai." Kili agreed.

I yawned again, blinking my eyes which seemed oddly bleary. "Yeah I suppose…"

My body felt heavy, so so heavy. As if it was weighted down by lead, and the more they talked about sleep the more I felt I needed it.

"Get some rest Mimur." Fili's voice wafted over my ear and then my eyelids fluttered closed.

I could hear everyone continue to mumble quietly as I shifted burrowing further into Fili's warmth, but I couldn't take anything in. Apparently I had exhausted myself, Bombur had been right. It was much easier to drift off when you trusted people to look out for you.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry if this chapter seemed a little weak or anything... I couldn't seem to get it just how I imagined it but with all the best intentions the next one will be better! Hoping to have it up tonight since I've not updated for a few days but we'll have to see. <strong>

**Just so you guys know now, this story is in danger of becoming super long because I have so many plans for things, their life together e.t.c. I could always make a sequel but I don't know... I like it in one place... so feel free to let me know what you think?! But this story then wouldn't end on a note that would really be an ending because of how/where I would start the sequel so it followed on well. Whereas if it's all in one place it just means it could end up with loads of chapters. **

**Anyways... Hope you enjoyed it even if it's not one of the best. **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! Keep them coming! **

**Rue :)**


	42. Lightness And Laughter

When I woke up it was dark. I say it was dark as if that should mean something to people and give them a clear view of what I woke up to but it does not. I mean it was pitch black. Trying to peer through the darkness was like trying to look through coal.

_Guess I should've eaten my carrots… _

I stood up shakily and frowned. I knew Fili was sleeping somewhere beside me but I wasn't quite sure where. I also knew if I was near Fili then the likelihood was that Kili wasn't too far away. If I took a step forward in the blackness however I felt I had two likely outcomes; one I would trip and fall, face planting a hard stone floor or two, I would end up stepping on someone and then I would trip and fall, face planting a hard stone floor however, I would have also stepped on some poor sleeping company member.

Deciding to take my chances anyway I raised my foot.

"Perhaps a little light?" A spark shot across the room and a flame like the sun roared to life.

I, having been wobbling on one foot, went crashing backwards and landed on top of Fili who awoke with such speed and alertness it was unreal. Within a second the knife I had made for him was positioned above my neck.

_Oh Jesus…_

Too startled to say anything I just lay gazing fearfully up at him as the firelight danced in the cool blue of his eyes until they cleared and he focused correctly, throwing the knife to the floor with a clatter.

"Mahal Mimur! Are you alright?! What's going on?!" The fretful whisper pierced through the silence and Fili tugged a hand through his thick blonde locks looking frantic as he stared down at me.

I was now positioned right across his lap.

_To be fair I could think of worse landings… _

I swept my gaze around the room as the flame crackled and spit, casting an eerie glowing light across the chamber and throwing everything not quite in its path into deep shadows.

_Definitely could have been worse…._

Thorin was laying only feet in front of me.

_It's probably best I didn't step on him_, I winced at the thought. _It would be like walking into the lion's den and kicking it._

Gandalf gave a little chuckle from across the room.

_I suppose he must have lit the torch thing…_

"Zalia is quite well Master Dwarf I assure you; I merely startled her while attempting to assist." The wizard grinned at Fili in an attempt to placate him and as the panic vanished from Fili's eyes I surmised it worked.

"You should be resting Mimur."

I licked my lips. "Couldn't sleep." I whispered back. "I was just suddenly awake and… I don't know, I just… I wanted to go for a walk or something."

"In total darkness? Mimur! Erebor is huge you could have been lost for weeks!" Fili's mouth tugged down along with his brows as he fixed me with another worried stare.

"Well I didn't exactly make it far Fils." Even to my own ears I sounded slightly exasperated; I could understand his concern I really could but…

_I didn't want to wake anyone. That would be unfair to them. It's not just me who's had it hard. This journey is taking its toll on us all. _

"That's not the point, Mimur-"

"I believe there is something you wished to ask me my dear?" If Gandalf had had enough of listening to Fili and I bicker that was the nicest way of saying so I'd ever heard but he was, for once, entirely mistaken.

"No I-" _Actually…_ "Actually now I think about it… how did you know it was my dad… on Carrock?"

_It must have been Gandalf who told them… the dwarves are so, un-trusting… _

Gandalf grinned his little knowing smile, eyes twinkling as he surveyed me. I'd managed to push myself up and fix the wizard with a quizzical look.

"The Valar do not bring those here who do not have destinies here. They bring those who are needed. I had spoken with the Lady Galadriel about what would happen since you were clearly meant to be here forever, she informed me that closure on all important matters comes in due time, that is to say, when it is _meant_ to happen. That moment just felt correct." He smiled. "Does that answer your question?"

Mouth slightly open as I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth in thought I nodded making my blonde hair sway lightly. "I think so."

"Excellent. And now I would suggest is the time for you two to explore."

Fili and I shot each other confused looks, "It is?" Fili asked slowly his deep voice rumbling out of his chest.

"I would say so, most certainly. You can feel it in the air, can you not?"

* * *

><p>It would be safe to assume that Fili and I most certainly could <em><span>not<span>_ 'feel it in the air' however, we shrugged at each other both still frowning slightly and raising one cheek each in a sort of, 'what do you do?' manner. Eventually we came to the non-verbal consensus that it might just be best to agree and we left Gandalf, (Fili taking the torch from its bracket), muttering to himself about perfection of some sort.

Our footsteps echoed loudly in the long chambers as we clomped along, I didn't have a clue where we were going and I wasn't sure Fili did either. We just picked a turning when we came to it.

"Do you know _why_ exactly we're 'exploring'…" I asked making use of air quotes, "Or is this just another weird thing Gandalf has us doing for no apparent reason?"

"I wish I could tell you Mimur I really do." Fili murmured back, eyes scanning across some Khuzdul writing. "We don't want to go that way that just leads to family halls by the looks of things, let's try this way instead." His rough hand slithered into mine and he winked at me before pulling me down the left fork in the corridor.

"You're not a little curious what Thorin's old room looks like? Not even a bit?!" I probed childishly.

It was nice to be able to beam at Fili and just generally tease each other, we'd been laughing and joking most of the walk so far and I didn't realised how much I'd missed it.

_Maybe Gandalf is sneakier than he appears…_

I realised that I'd missed Fili. Sure he'd been around, not the last week but still he had been, but we'd been so caught up in the drama surrounding the quest that we hadn't just laughed and joked for ages. I didn't love him any less when he was serious but there was something nice about seeing him just as he had been in Bag End. As a handsome young dwarf without the weight of the world on his shoulders, a guy whose eyes twinkled with mischief and whose smile lit up his entire face and brought a feeling of warmth and safety into the dark, tense moments.

"If I was, I wouldn't go looking with you, what if you go off me for Uncle eh?!"

"FILS! That's vile!" I exclaimed shivering and smacking him lightly on the arm. "I am not amused!" My smile told a different story though, and as Fili's eyes glistened with mirth I knew he knew that too.

"On the contrary I'd say I heartily amuse you. It's my wit and charm which drew you to me after all, but of course we can't forget the dashing looks." He winked.

"Yanno, just as I start to think Kili's the arrogant brother you go and say something like that."

Throwing his head back like a little kid as he let out a great bark of laughter, Fili looked so carefree I felt as if I was falling in love with him all over again.

"Then again…at least Kili talks about traits he actually has."

Fili's eyes snapped to me, his face fell to a more serious degree and he advanced on me as I backed away from him, his blue eyes shining playfully in the light. "I think you are mistaken my love."

His tone held a note of warning. I stuck my tongue in my cheek for a second pretending to consider my statement before, "No, don't think I am!" And with a cheeky wink I shot off darting past him down the corridor.

Giggling madly as he chased me I felt so untroubled, like nothing could harm us. Nothing mattered except spending time with Fili; there were no armies, no fights, no orcs or angry elves, everything was just normal, fine, happy-go-lucky. It was the most wonderful feeling.

"Get back here my dear lady I must impress upon you the full force of said traits lest you be running off to my brother!"

"Catch me if you can!"

Fili growled in a spirited way as he reached out his free arm. I shrieked joyously diving out of the way and continuing on my little jaunt.

"GOT YOU!"

I screamed, the way you do when someone's about to tickle you and you're illogically panicked and dizzy with happiness, as Fili's arm snaked around my waist. "NO!"

"YES!" His eyes whizzed around the chamber we found ourselves in. "Aha!" With a triumphant smile he placed the torch in the holder and began tickling my sides.

"FILS STOP!" I laughed, almost unable to breathe.

"I can't my wit, charm and dashing good looks must sink in!"

"You doofus!"

We grappled for a few more seconds until I realised that if I continued I would lose so badly it'd be embarrassing, and that the struggle to breathe was getting desperate now.

"Okay I give! You are by far the most witty, charming and devilishly handsome dwarf in all of the land." I brushed my lips lightly against his as his hands fell still on my sides.

"Devilishly… mmm… I like that." He murmured against my mouth.

"Oh good, I thought it quite well-spoken of me. I'm practicing you see, trying not to be so strange for when the others arrive."

"Mimur." Fili's eyes locked onto mine holding an impressive amount of seriousness. "You are not strange, they will like you because of who you are. Do not feel the need to alter yourself too much. Just perhaps… in situations which may otherwise be made worse by it?" He almost asked as if he was worried it would offend me. "Or perhaps in serious moments when you don't wish to offend. I fell in love with _you_, and I do not intend to lose _you_ because of what is considered 'proper' and what is not."

"I don't want people to think less of you Fils." I said my face also slipping into a serious mask.

"They will not. You must trust me, some will not adjust, they may think you odd but no one will say anything about me because of you. Dwarves understand what it is like when we meet our 'one' Mimur. They would not think less of me if you were the most awful woman to ever walk the earth." He grinned.

"Well, that's good I suppose. I still have to be like… behaved right?"

A throaty chuckle escaped him.

"Yes in some respects. We are expected to conduct ourselves in a certain way in public but Mimur, you're a woman, in that respect you have a lot more freedom to say and do what you wish. You need only ever be seen to answer to myself, Kili and Thorin when we have been coronated." He smiled slyly. "Not that you ever will of course."

"Well, naturally not."

Fili chuckled again in a rather breathy way as he pressed his forehead to mine. "I promise you everything will be fine, it is difficult to dislike you. I know, I have tried to when I have wanted to remain angry with you, but you are just so wonderful. It's not an ability I possess."

"Well that's good; it would really suck if you didn't like me considering I'm so in love with you."

Fili sucked in a deep breath. "I could hear that every moment for the rest of my life and it would never be enough."

"I would think it would get a little intolerable after a while. Irritating even." I muttered amused.

"I love you."

_Wow._

The intimate way we were standing, the adoration pooled in his eyes, the way he clutched me to his body, I knew then what he meant. I could relieve that minute for the rest of eternity without it ever getting old.

"Or perhaps not." Pressing myself as close to him as I possibly could and pushing myself up on my tiptoes, I flattened my lips against his. Like most of Fili his lips were still a little rough, which suited him fine, because they were also tender and caring and just utterly perfect.

* * *

><p>A sparkle on Fili's braid caught my eye as we pulled apart panting. It almost looked like it was glinting in the moonlight.<p>

_It can't be…_

I tilted my head upwards and there, in the ceiling, was a small sliver of silver.

"Fils what's that?"

"Hmm?" He let go of me, stood back slightly and pushed his hair from his face as he gazed upwards. "I don't know Mimur."

"It looks like moonlight… and look, there, do you see? A small door! I bet there's a staircase."

"Mimur…" Fili sounded cautious, as if he already knew what I would suggest.

"Oh please Fils!" I clasped my hands together and stared up at him wide-eyed, "Please!"

He sighed, a slight frown marring his features. "I don't know."

"Come on Fils it'll be an adventure!" My eyes sparkled with excitement as I begged him.

"Haven't you had enough of adventures yet?" His resolve was clearly wearing.

"I could go for one more. With you. Just for us." I fluttered my eyelashes. "Please Fils. I know you won't let anything happen to me and I promise if you think it's too dangerous we can come right back!"

Exhaling heavily and glancing up once more his eyes finally settled on the door. "Well… alright then."

"Yes!" I beamed as I tugged him towards the small door, it was completely hidden. If the light hadn't have shined in the exact spot it did you'd have never known it was there.

Fili grinned at me before tugging the door open, "Come on then, carefully." He said as moonlight spilled out of the tunnel which did indeed hold a staircase.

I followed Fili, footsteps as precise as I could make them for what seemed like an age until we finally reached the top. "Ready?" He asked.

"Definitely."

With a small smile tugging at his lips and mischief shimmering in his eyes, he pushed open the door at the top of the staircase where the moonlight was filtering in from.

"Oh wow!" When we stepped out we were on a balcony. A balcony made of the mountain, hidden from all others below outside and inside.

The stars twinkled down like diamonds and we were bathed in moonlight. "It's beautiful."

"Yes, spell-binding, just hypnotic."

It wasn't until I turned my head to see Fili's reaction that I realised he was looking straight at me.

"Fili." My breath came out in a mere puff of air and then he was on me.

Fili filled my senses as his lips met mine and his hands roamed over my small frame, yanking me in close. My own hands had a life of their own. One tangled in his silky hair, the other explored his chest. I let out a gasp as he nipped at my lip and then suddenly his tongue was entwining with mine. We kissed passionately and rapidly, with a fervour I didn't know we had. The animalistic side of Fili was in full control, as I whimpered twisting my hand into his shirt he pulled back with a growl tearing it off over his head, it was a wonder he didn't rip it. My hands immediately found the muscles in his chest; they danced over his pecs and through his chest hair before gripping firmly around his shoulders. He shuddered under my touch, breathing heavily his eyes having taken on the feral glint as his arms almost vibrated each time he kept them from reaching out to me.

"Fili I need-"

I didn't get to finish. With a lurch he was suddenly encasing me again, his hands winding knots into my shirt before eventually, he slipped them underneath, gently fiddling until the bandages Oin had put on my bruised ribs had fallen loose, and then his skin was on my skin. I can't begin to explain how that felt. His rugged hands running across my supple stomach in a wild sort of caress, which had tingles shooting down my spine until I was quivering so much I was afraid I'd fall over, our tongues danced together.

Panting like dogs we broke apart, lying on the floor, (not that I remember getting there), Fili's hands still lightly tickling my belly as I kneaded his shoulders. I trailed one hand down over his chest, my fingertip brushing his nipple and making him jerk with a hiss.

"Sorry."

"No, no, I just. It's not…urgh." Fili stopped, taking a moment to collect himself before he calmed enough to speak. "It's just so tempting to move my hands upwards or downwards even and I… you deserve a lot more than a balcony Mimur." His tone was so sincere, voice gravelly it made my brain fuzz.

"I don't even deserve you. I mean I'm not exactly the best looking maiden in the land, I'm more podgy for one and-"

The snarl that ripped from Fili's throat stopped me dead, my eyes flashed to his as fury pooled there. "Do _not_ say that. _Do not ever say that_. Mimur you are perfect. You are the most stunning woman I have ever met and to me you always shall remain as such."

"Even when I'm old and wrinkly?" I asked rather cutely.

Fili's nose crinkled in that adorable manner, the sides of his eyes too as he smiled. "Even then. And as for podgy..." He pushed my shirt up carefully and shimmied down, running his nose over my abdomen before placing light kisses against every part he could reach, his hands still splayed on my sides, his beard bristly against my skin. Beads cold, they clinked as he pulled up. "You hardly have enough meat on you for me to believe you can possibly be healthy, dwarf women are generally speaking, bigger than this at least. However, it would not bother me if you were Bombur's size. You will always be perfect in my eyes."

"I don't ever want to be Bombur's size." I said pursing my lips.

"Oh good, it wouldn't bother me but I do like you the way you are and I really don't want to think you could win an argument by sitting on me."

We laughed. We both let out loud, free, echoing, ear splitting laughs before he tugged my shirt down and rolled onto his back pulling me onto his chest.

"This place is gorgeous." I said exhaling loudly, voice filled with awe.

"It is rather mesmerising." Fili murmured in agreement.

"This should be our special spot, just for us." I gazed up, my blue eyes locking with his.

"I think that would be appropriate."

So there we lay, in our secret place, enjoying the silence, the night and each other's company.

* * *

><p>By the time we finally decided to make ourselves look presentable again and go back, it was almost morning. Fili closed the doors to our special balcony and we ambled along the corridors taking note to remember the way. Eventually we made it back and it seemed everyone was still asleep except Bombur was missing.<p>

"Where's Bombur?" I whispered as we slid back into our spots, Fili extinguished the torch and we were plunged into darkness again.

"On watch duty I suppose."

"Oh... right."

We fell into a comfortable silence, I sat between Fili's legs as he brushed my hair through with his magic hands and it didn't take long for the torch to spring back to life. Gandalf passed out cold foods and the light glinted on some strange white thing Bilbo was wearing.

"Bilbo mate, the hell is with that get-up?"

Bilbo blushed as Gandalf chuckled.

"I presented him with it; it is a strong armour vest." Thorin announced.

_Impressed Thorin knows what 'get-up' is actually..._

"Oh, shit. Sorry Pops." I smiled sheepishly and Thorin merely rolled his eyes.

"Zalia my treasured one," He smirked, "I am glad of your return indeed."

It seemed Thorin was totally swinging in and out of this being crazy business which gave me hope.

_I know he wants or perhaps needs that Arkenstone but if he can just not go crazy over the other things this is manageable. I mean the Arkenstone is a family heirloom and respected by all dwarves, it will help him to rule… Yes we can so help Thorin get better._

I felt a small tickle on my arm and thinking it was Fili, glanced down. _It_ was _not_ Fili. One of those spiders with the tiny bodies and thin spindly, freakishly long legs crawled along.

"GET IT OFF!"

Fili looked startled as I jerked my arm the others looked rather bewildered.

"OH EWWW!" I jumped to my feet, screaming and smacking at myself all over, "Is it gone? Is it gone? Is it gone?!" I asked hysterically, almost in tears.

"Is what gone?!" Bofur asked leaping to his feet and staring at me wide-eyed.

Bombur barrelled in from wherever they had to go for watch duty. "What's going on?! I heard a scream!"

Thorin to my utter _disgust_ burst into fits of laughter. Bombur fell flat on his face, everyone else's jaws dropped open as they stared from Thorin to me and I began slapping at his arm.

"It's not funny you bastard!"

"Oh- but-" Thorin wheezed out words in between laughs. "But it is!"

"You're an awful dad! You shouldn't laugh at me!"

This just made Thorin laugh more. "I thought you'd gotten over this after the incident in Mirkwood."

"NO! That was a matter of fleeting courage. And if you remember I totally froze!" I moaned.

"But you have seen them, you have observed them since! I have watched you!" By this point Thorin had lost all decorum and was pretty much rolling on the floor, clutching his sides while tears streamed down his face.

"THAT THING HAD THE AUDACITY TO CRAWL ON ME!" I yelled still hysterical.

_I will never be able to sit down again._ I thought as I stood, shivering with fear in the one spot still scratching at myself. _That was the most terrifying…_

"AUDACITY!" Thorin boomed his laughter ringing in the chamber.

"Pops! This is _not_ supportive of you!"

"I can't-" He clutched tightly to his side, hair splayed over his face in the most amused and ridiculous state I have _ever_ seen him.

_Either he really is losing it… or he needed a good laugh. _

"What's going on?!" Oin asked frantic as he stared from my distraught and irritated face to Thorin; who had lost all of his royal mannerisms in front of his close friends and family. For that is most certainly what we now were. Some closer than others but still…

"I believe Zalia," Gandalf announced struggling not to let a smile of his own break out, "has been used as a pathway for a spider."

"It molested me!" I fumed.

At this point they all lost it. Kili, Bofur, Nori and Bifur in particular. "MOLESTED!" Kili yelled as he collapsed joining his uncle.

"Spider!" Bofur clutched his sides.

"Audacity!" Nori roared leaning on the wall for support.

Bifur exploded with laughter and the others soon followed.

"I hate you all." I dead-panned.

"Oh Mimur, come 'ere." Fili stepped forwards and pulled me tight into his chest for a hug. "I'll protect you from the incy, little spider."

I slapped his chest. "You're all twerps."

"TWERPS!" He thundered before toppling to the ground with laughter, joining his brother and uncle.

_Just what sort have family have I got myself here!_

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, <strong>

**Another for you with a little lightness and laughter and the Fili and Zai moment you've been dying for lately. I felt bad for not updating for so long. I hope you all like it! **

**Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! It blows me away you all enjoy this so much! **

**Rue :)**


	43. Descent Into Madness

"Bofur old buddy, old pal…" I grinned broadly as I sidled over to Bofur and lay my head on his shoulder fluttering my eyelashes.

"Why do I get the feeling you want something?" He groaned in response although a wide smile stretched across his face.

"Me?!" I sat up, feigning surprise and held a hand over my heart, "When have I ever wanted anything?!"

Bofur chortled at me, fixing me with one of those knowing stares he's so good at.

"Okay so I might want something…"

_Oh Zai, you can be totally weak sometimes…_

"And that is?" He raised one eyebrow questioningly.

"Can I please have some pipe tobacco? I think I lost mine when I like… nearly drowned. Or it might have been the incident with the flying and the dragon…" I sighed, trailing off with a frown before shrugging, "…either way it's gone." I dead-panned.

Bofur was just about to put his hand in his pocket when Nori coughed awkwardly. "Actually Zai…"

I turned and there in Nori's hand was my little velvet pipe weed bag Fili had given me all that time ago when he lost the bet.

"Nori you little thief!" I exclaimed jumping up and heading over to him. The closer I got the more worried he looked and it occurred to me briefly I could have some fun with this fear, until I decided I just really wanted a smoke. "I LOVE YOU!" Launching myself at him I grabbed the bag and slung my arms around his neck.

"ACK!" We fell over as Nori toppled backwards and hit the ground with a large thud.

"You ever do that again I might hate you but right now I love you!"

"Mimur, I think you may be choking him my love."

"Oh right."

Sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck I pulled myself up and, with a blush rising in my cheeks made my way over to Fili and Kili, clutching my tobacco tightly.

It had taken a while for everyone to calm down from the whole spider incident and for me to be convinced the little creature wasn't going to viciously attack me again but I was slowly realising I didn't have much choice but to sit down. Erebor was probably home to many spiders which was cool, as long as none of the others were that brave and I didn't come across that particular little beastie again. Still, I plonked myself onto Fili's lap and narrowed my eyes surveying the surrounding area.

_I should really bash these two knucklehead's heads together._

Fili's chest shook underneath me as Kili stuffed a knuckle into his mouth trying to prevent their laughter.

"It's not funny." I moaned, flopping back so my head rested on Fili's shoulder as I began to pry open my tobacco pouch. "Jesus! Nori how much did you smoke?!"

"Not that much!" He tried to defend himself in a loud voice as Kili shot back, "It's actually hilarious."

"You know, I'm fast deciding I don't like any of you that much at all really." I snapped, stuffing the pipe tobacco into my pipe and looking around for something to light it with.

A cool touch against my cheek sent shivers down my spine as one of Fili's beads banged against my skin. "There jus' playin' Mimur." He muttered. "Besides, it was quite amusing."

Deciding to ignore him I lit my pipe from a twig Bifur held out for me and began blowing smoke rings.

"Come on Mimur… You can't really be angry?" Fili's beard brushed against my neck sending delightful tingles throughout my body as his hot breath puffed against my neck.

"You're just jelly."

"I'm what?"

He frowned so cutely it was hard trying not to ruin it with a smile, keeping a straight face, staring right back at him, I replied, "Jelly… you know… jealous." I sighed. "Seriously I've never said that before? Not even jel?"

Fil tugged his bottom lip between his teeth. "I don't believe you have, no. What a ridiculous phrase."

I rolled my eyes.

T_hat is not a ridiculous phrase. It's just not the whole word… might be slightly ridiculous actually…_

"What am I supposed to be jealous of?" He quizzed his voice oddly breathy and light.

"My amazing smoke rings. You know they're ten times more fabulous than anything you could possibly hope to produce."

This time Fili snorted.

"FILI!"

"What?!"

"Don't be mean!"

"But Mimur…" With a smile as I blew another smoke ring, he removed my pipe from my hands, took a puff and sent a smoke ring floating right through the middle of mine. What was even more awful than that was that his smoke ring was perfect and mine was wobbly and feeble in comparison.

"Not that great." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and pouting like a child.

_Freaking awesome…stupid dwarf._

"Oh Mimur." Fili grazed his lips against my cheek, his hair tickling my neck as he did. "You'll get better… with practice."

"Why am I marrying you again?" I asked him in an irritated tone, watching his reaction from under my eyelashes as I leaned back in his embrace and he continued to puff away on my pipe.

"Due to my wit, charm and dashing good looks of course." Cheekily he winked down at me.

"Sure, sure."

_I will get my revenge, I should… no I could…_

With an idea which made my brain sound off like a buzzer, I casually got up and sat down on Kili's lap instead wrapping my arms around his neck. "Play along." I whispered. "Kils how do you feel about marriage?"

Seemingly quite bewildered Kili cleared his throat, attempting to keep some sense of decorum for once, his hands firmly placed on the floor as Fili surveyed us through narrowed eyes which seemed to shoot out icicles.

"Well, if I find my one I would be most open to it but if not then-"

"No." I cut Kili off, tugging one of his hands from the floor and placing it around my waist. "How do you feel about marrying me? Being as you are most obviously the one with all the wit, charm and dashing good looks."

Smirking slightly Kili obviously decided this was a good prank as the next second he announced loudly, "OH ZAI! I have been merely awaiting the moment in which you would realise I am the brother for you! How it has pained me to have to wait so long!"

I swear on all that is good and holy I have never been snatched away from Kili so fast as when he tried to kiss me on the cheek that day.

_Holy shit_!

"Woah!"

"She's mine!" Fili's voice was almost a growl as he clamped his arms so tightly around me I felt like I was in a tourniquet of some description. The more I tried to wriggle free the tighter he held.

_Honestly never realised Fili was this strong. He is practically straight-jacketing me._

"Calm yourself brother. Your betrothed and I were just joking with you." Kili held his hands up in a surrendering motion as he tried not to giggle. "Honestly Fee, your face…"

"It was _not_ funny." Fili snarled his eyes like ice as he loosened his hold just about enough for me to be able to shuffle on his lap slightly and look up at him while still being able to breathe.

"Fils." I skimmed my hand over his beard, gently twisting one of his moustache braids, "Fili."

He glared down at me.

"Next time I get attacked by a spider… don't joke with me. See it's not funny."

Taking a deep breath, obviously trying to resist the urge to throttle either me or Kili, Fili huddled closer, pulling me so far into his grasp that he almost swamped me.

"That is not the same thing Mimur."

_Okay, so totally not funny… good thing I picked Kili then… other people might be dead… mind you… this is a nice cuddle._

As always on this journey, it was not long after this moment that things began to go downhill rapidly. Actually that's a bit of an understatement, it was not long after this moment the shit really hit the fan but then… I suppose I probably shouldn't be getting ahead of myself. It didn't become bad straight away, just confusing.

* * *

><p>I stretched in Fili's grasp making the bones in my spine give a satisfying 'pop' sound as some of the tension I'd built up released. It kind of hurt, but it was a good hurt. As I went to stand however, Ori gave an irritated and fretful squeal as well as a little jerky movement.<p>

"No! Zai stay there just a few more seconds please?!" He begged desperately as his hand whizzed faster over the paper. How he wasn't splattering ink everywhere I didn't know. Sometimes that dwarf was a miracle worker.

My eyebrows rose conveying my mixed feelings perfectly as I settled back into Fili's grasp, surprised and bewildered. Fili wasn't complaining, he grinned as he shifted me slightly so my back sat flush against his chest and he nuzzled his head into my neck, his beard scratching the soft skin as he placed a delicate kiss on my collarbone.

Kili sat a little way off flicking the black stone he had been playing with before the whole dragon scenario over and over in his hand; he shrugged at my questioning gaze. "It'd do well not to fret over Ori's many oddities sister..." Grinning and shaking his head so his shaggy black hair moved out of his face he continued. "…For they are numerous and mind-boggling."

I pressed my lips together trying, (and failing), to suppress a wry grin. "No more numerous or mind-boggling than your own oddities Kils rest assured." I winked at him and Fili chuckled as he ran his fingers gently through my hair.

"I fear dear brother, that my betrothed may be correct."

"Nothing to fear about it, we all know I'm the brains of this trio." I stuck my chin up in a haughty manner as Kili's mouth dropped open and Fili let a disbelieving 'uh!' escape him while the others in the company laughed.

"In which case the future generations of our people are surely doomed."

"What?!" I gasped in disbelief my eyes widening as my head snapped to Dwalin. "Mr Dwalin you wound me!" I held a hand over my heart, laughter twinkling in not only my eyes, but that of all my companions. "Most grievously in fact."

"ENOUGH!" The shout made us all jump and I am almost embarrassed to admit I may have clung to Fili just a little tighter as it pierced through the air. All eyes turned to Thorin where he stood, chest heaving and fists clenched. "Enough." He huffed.

Bilbo and I exchanged glances whilst Gandalf narrowed his eyes at Thorin waiting for the king to speak.

"We should be searching. Too long, have we been resting and playing merry, now is the time to search!" The King Under the Mountain glared around at us all and I trembled slightly against Fili. "We must find the arkenstone."

"Oh not this again." I muttered dropping my face into my hands. I thought I'd been quiet enough that no one had heard me. I'd obviously thought wrong. When I looked up Thorin was glowering down at me and I swear if you could melt someone to oblivion with a look I would have been nothing but a pile of mush.

The mountain was as silent as the tomb it had become for many dwarves, most likely for the first time since it had become their tomb too. You could have heard a pin drop from a hundred floors above and below.

_I think I might have said something deathly wrong here._

"You don't think…" Thorin began, taking slow threatening steps towards me. "That searching for the arkenstone should be our number one priority?"

I stood slowly letting Filis' hands slide from my waist, weighing my words before I spoke, feeling the tension crackling in the air.

_Careful now Zai…not a good time to put your foot into your mouth. _

"I think perhaps," I took a deep breath and a few short steps forward, "I think perhaps the army of men and elves on our doorstep might be a slightly more pressing concern."

Thorin stopped short, his eyes darted wildly around for a second and I got the distinct feeling that he hadn't expected me to say that. In fact I got the feeling he might have forgotten about the army outside completely. I didn't exactly see how, they were rather hard to forget about but Thorin had seemed different since we entered this mountain and a trickle of dread slid down my spine as I thought about how whacked the king had become.

_He needs a good crack around the head or something. _

Gandalf gestured silently to Bilbo and they slipped away, the others in the company seemingly oblivious to their departure. Confusion fell upon me like a sudden haze springing up as if from nowhere. Gandalf had been the one to talk sense into Thorin before. His disappearance at what felt like such a critical moment surely couldn't be good news, but why take Bilbo?

My mind whirled with possibilities as Thorin reached for me. It took all I had not to flinch as he grasped my hand, softly at first and then with a force that made my eyes water.

"Zalia is right! We must arm ourselves!"

Just like that, we were off. God knows where we were running to, the others followed behind somehow keeping up with Thorins' breakneck pace. I just tried to be fast enough that my arm stayed in its socket.

"Thorin!" I called desperately as we barrelled down flights of stairs and hurtled along corridors. "Thorin where the bloody hell are we going?!"

He stopped so suddenly I crashed into him, not that my body moved his at all. "To arm ourselves." He replied looking more dazed than I have ever seen any sort of junkie look.

_If I didn't know any better I'd think he was high or something. _

With another jolt to my arm he began running again until finally, blessedly, we came to a halt at a large stone doorway.

"The Armoury." Thorin announced just as the others caught up with us. He dropped my arm and pushed the doors. They opened scraping across the ground and letting out the most god-awful grinding sound I have ever heard. "We must prepare ourselves."

"Brilliant thinking lass." Dwalin grinned down at me, clapping me on the back as he passed, entering the armoury with Thorin.

"Truly inspired Zai." Nori agreed as he pushed past my other side.

"Actually this wasn't what I had in mind." I said as the others all strode past me. "Guys seriously, this is not what I meant!" I cried getting slightly more desperate now. "You can't be thinking we could actually fight them?!" My eyes darted around at the men who were clearly paying me no attention whatsoever. "Great, fantastic work Zai, you blithering idiot." I muttered to myself, slapping my palm against my forehead.

_Well if you can't beat them…join them I guess._

* * *

><p>It took a great deal of convincing on my part but finally I managed to get Fili and Kili to agree that I should be kitted out as well. At least somewhat anyway. Personally I think they were all burying their heads in the sand slightly because if you tried to put the words 'Zalia' and 'battle' in the same sentence they'd cut you off with nonsense about it being unnecessary and unbecoming and all other ridiculous terms.<p>

Finally they did agree however that should anyone make it past them, I should be wearing some form of defensive garb and as such they'd managed to find me a leather jerkin which, they insisted, was all I would need as I wasn't going to be fighting. Kili had also managed to acquire a bow and arrows for me although I was only to use them in dire peril. His words not mine. Mind you, I remembered the blind fish comment well and didn't relish using the bow ever let alone in dire peril. Fili gave me a few daggers to hide 'about my person' and obviously I had my sword.

I protested that surely I would need something more for the battle itself, like some form of metal armour but all the men jumped in at that point agreeing I'd need no such thing. Thorins' contribution to my attire was the most surprising. A dress.

I'm not joking, a light blue dress which apparently had been his sisters. The fact that Thorin had pilfered his sisters old room worried me less than the fact that I was wearing a dress Fili and Kili's mum had once worn and, if I ruined it, I'd probably be for it with their mother before we'd even been introduced.

I was not thrilled about the dress prospect obviously, but once the jerkin was tied over the top I felt a lot better about my attire, not looking so girly was a plus and I think Fili was secretly pleased my cleavage wasn't on show to the company once the jerkin was on. I was sort of put out to discover that Bilbo got a shiny metal vest when he arrived again sans Gandalf.

It sort of bugged me that I'd been left out of the loop a little there and then topping it off the dwarves were willing to let Bilbo join in the fighting merely because he had a dangly appendage I was, apparently, sorely lacking. Seriously I'd never before been so annoyed at my lack of a penis.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind for a second I grasped Bilbo by the arm as we all traipsed back upstairs.

"Where's Gandalf?" I questioned earnestly. If anyone knew what was going on with Thorin and perhaps how to fix him it would be the wizard.

"Gone."

"GONE?!" I whisper-yelled. "What do you mean gone?"

"I mean he's not here." Bilbo searched desperately with his eyes paying no attention to me.

"Bilbo…"

"Sorry Zai, I need to go." He shoved my arm off and darted up the stairs towards Balin as I blinked after him in confusion.

_The whole company is going bloody mad._

I stood mouth open staring after Bilbo until Ori tapped me on the arm in that nervous little way of his.

"Yes Ori?" I asked trying, and failing, to keep the exasperated bite out of my voice.

"This is for you." He muttered pushing a folded piece of paper into my hands. "It's what I was working on earlier. I just…" And in one swift movement he'd wrapped his arms around me in a crushing hug.

I stood flabbergasted and by the time I'd got my wits back he'd pulled away, wiped teary eyes and darted off.

"Everyone's going fucking crazy." I mumbled. "Fucking crazy."

* * *

><p>Thinking I was done with the ludicrous for the day was my mistake because by the time I'd made it back to base camp, which was really just the entrance way, Bard was at the door peering through a hole in the giant stone barricade the dwarves had erected, trying to make civil conversation with Thorin who was also peering through a hole.<p>

"This is fucking mental." I huffed pushing Ori's paper down the front of my jerkin and into my bra.

Considering I was without pockets, that seemed the safest place for it, I practically forgot all about it as I moved into the thick of the company to listen in on Thorins' conversation.

"On behalf of the people of Laketown, I ask that you honour your pledge, a share of the treasure so that they might rebuild their lives."

_Seems fair._

"I will not treat with any man, while an armed host lies before my door."

_Also seems reasonable._

That far in at least, the conversation seemed to be going well. Inevitably it took a turn for the worse as these things tended to do since the beginning of the journey. For the first time I thought about asking Gandalf what the hell had happened to me in my world. Whether I could just give it all up as a bad job and go back. It might not be home but as I considered the idea I decided it could be, if I made it that way. The idea was fleeting, Fili nudged my side and I forgot all about it. Home was here now, whatever that would bring. War was looking more and more likely nowadays and as much as I'm loath to admit it, part of me did yearn for a comfortable bed, a take-away kebab and Judge Judy on the telly.

"That armed host will attack this mountain if we do not come to terms." Bard replied.

_Why Bard? Why? You stupid doofus. He's not going to 'come to terms' now._

The flickering thought of going back filled me once again; images of what my little brother might look like now. Random calculations into how much a new flat would cost, where I could live until I'd made enough money, perhaps with my mother. The thought filled me with dread. My mother was a witch if there ever was one.

I realised then for the first time, I was scared. No, I was terrified of war. All of these battles so far had been sprung upon us but this one would be planned and from what little I knew of war, we'd lose.

We'd die. Or at least some of us would and that thought filled me with a sense of pain, a sense of dismay. I realised that my thoughts of home, of my world, had sprung at the thought that this might not all turn out alright after all.

It was an odd feeling to say the least. I'd not really had chance to get scared before. I'd felt pangs of fear sure, but then the adrenaline kicked in and as scared as I'd been I'd acted because there were things to be doing if I wanted to stay alive. This time it was slowly creeping up on me as I realised the battle wasn't yet over.

We were going to end up fighting one way or another and I felt like chucking my guts up. Perhaps the guys were right after all, I might not be cut out to be a soldier, to participate in wars, not unless I bloody well had to. Then again, the thought of sitting alone in the mountain waiting to see if it was the dwarves returning or a horde of enemies come to kill me didn't settle any better in my gut. No. If there was to be more fighting, I'd be taking part.

_God help me._

"Your threats do not sway me." Thorin replied just as I had predicted, as if I hadn't just come to one of the most petrifying realisations of my life. As if I hadn't just realised that I was going to die and most likely so would everyone I loved.

It wasn't as if I was under any delusions of grandeur. I'd got better at the battle thing, but I wasn't Fili or Kili. Not Dwalin, Balin or Thorin. If we went on pure skill level I'd probably be the first to go. Well, me or Bilbo. Perhaps Ori.

"Mimur." Fili nudged me with his hip as his arm slithered around my waist. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm…" I flicked my eyes up to meet his worried gaze. "Oh yeah I'm just dandy Fils."

"Are you sure Zai. You've gone pale." Kili murmured as he came to stand in front of me casting a troubled gaze across my face followed by a sweeping hand. His palm was rough and warm and it brought everything back into clarity for me.

"I'm fine Kils really." I smiled widely at the two brothers. "See."

They shared a look over my head and Kili slunk off towards Oin. I had the terrible feeling they had just dobbed me in to the doctor as his eyes came to rest on me, brows pulling into a frown.

"Fili. I'm fine. I promise. Just a little shaken up after everything. I mean you're all in amour and…" I stared up into his face as I placed my hand onto his cool breastplate, right where his heart should be.

Understanding suddenly bloomed in his eyes. "Oh Mimur." He whispered. "We'll be fine, I promise. Nothing is going to happen to us. Any of us."

"You don't know that."

"Mimur." With a sigh Fili pulled me into a hug as we continued to listen to the conversation going on between Bard and Thorin.

"Tell me Bard the Dragonslayer, why should I honour such terms?"

"Because you gave us your word. Does that mean nothing?"

Thorin moved away and I felt a spasm of terror hit my stomach again.

_Well this has turned out fucking fantastic. _

"Be gone! Ere our arrows fly!" Thorin yelled.

Bard made a noise of anger before we heard the hoofs of his horse hitting the ground.

"Brill. Just brill." I muttered as everyone scrambled to get on top of the barricade and watch him ride away.

"This is madness." Bilbo whispered to me as we clambered up after everyone.

"I completely agree." I hissed back as we reached the top and stood behind everyone else as they watched Bard ride into the distance.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey Guys, <strong>

**If any of you are still reading this I can only apologise for my long absence. I'm not making any excuses but I thought you deserved to know why. Firstly, my brother was in Intensive Care (the ICU) for a long time. Secondly, I've had my aunt deathly ill in hospital, my uncle has brain tumours and is being cared for at home. My own health has deteriorated (conditions I've had for a long time). Lastly on top of all that I've had Uni work. However, I am back now and I hope I'll be back to updating regularly. I just want to say thanks for all the support I've had from followers and the new followers, favs and reviews of course. You'll no doubt notice that I am using parts of the movie since it's out now and all but I won't be following it all to a T because I did not like the way it was done particularly some of the deaths and also because as I've said from the beginning some of those things will change. **

**Don't worry I'm a long way from done with Fili and Zai yet. Got a lot in store for them and I hope you'll continue reading until the very end but if not then I hope at least you will consider looking in from time to time. **

**As always let me know what you think?**

**Thanks for still reading! **

**Rue **


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